Season 3, Episode 23: May We (Re)Introduce Ourselves!

Can We Talk?
May We (Re)Introduce Ourselves! - Episode Description

Join us for a lively and heartwarming episode of the Peas and Carrots Podcast, where we share an overview of our bustling July schedule filled with church picnics, summer camps, Bible studies, and baseball games. We have some light-hearted moments to share, like Kayla’s undeniable love for ballpark snacks and a late-night ice cream run that ended in an amusing encounter. We’ll also touch on our bedtime routines and the challenges of sticking to them during summer’s extended daylight. For our new listeners, we’ll recount our 31-year marriage, our work in ministry with Positive Alternative Radio, and the serendipitous way we met in New Orleans, complete with Brian’s unforgettable first impression of Kayla.

Next, we take a heartfelt look at the keys to success in our marriage, discussing the profound ways our faith and love for the Lord shape our relationship. We emphasize the importance of being “all in” on friendships, work, and life itself. From our different approaches to planning and spontaneity to our shared magnetism for unusual stories, we reflect on the quirks that make us unique. Foundational principles like making Jesus the center, dying to ourselves daily, and understanding each other’s love languages are highlighted, along with the significance of communication and never-ending dates to keep our relationship vibrant and cherished.

Finally, we engage in a playful game of “This or That,” exploring our preferences and quirks that have developed over 31 years together. From choosing swimming pools over oceans to debating cake versus pie, this conversation highlights the comfort and simplicity found in long-term relationships.

May We (Re)Introduce Ourselves! - Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 

 

0:00:11 – Brian

Welcome to the peas and carrots podcast. Hi, I’m Brian, I’m Kayla, and Welcome to our little piece of the vegetable patch. I guess that’s how you say, it isn’t it? That is us, that’s us, mm-hmm. So what’s up in our world?

 

0:00:25 – Kayla

 July is busy. 

 

0:00:29 – Brian

Well, we got a church picnic. I’m cooking there, by the way. We got summer camp, which is a work event. We have a trip for that. 

 

0:00:39 – Kayla

Yeah, that’ll be a week. We’ve got various Bible studies we’re going to be part of. We have a ball game that we’re going to with our church family baseball. 

 

0:00:49 – Brian

We have other work trips. Let’s pause here. 

 

0:00:52 – Kayla

Miss Kayla doesn’t go to the ball game for the ball game now I do watch the game, but yes, I’m all about the snacks. I ain’t going to apologize. Cotton candy, maybe a little. 

 

0:01:06 – Brian

Nachos. 

 

0:01:07 – Kayla

Nachos and cheese. 

 

0:01:09 – Brian

Peanuts. 

 

0:01:10 – Kayla

No, I don’t do peanuts anymore because of your allergy. 

 

0:01:12 – Brian

Oh, I appreciate it. We all thank you. I thank you for that. You’re welcome. I don’t want to die If I ever get peanuts, it’s. 

 

0:01:18 – Kayla

you know I’m trying to bump you off, so so so if the hot dogs look good, I might have to. No, I’ll be. I’ll be better than I am usually, because you know whole healthy lifestyle thing we’re doing caramel, if they have caramel corn oh, forget it, it’s on you love caramel. I do don’t say yeah, okay, yeah, it’s a really fun, but busy month. 

 

0:01:42 – Brian

we have a lot of stuff going on, so does anybody find yourself? 

 

0:01:50 – Kayla

staying up a little bit later. I struggle with this because it’s summer and so it doesn’t get dark till what? 9:15? But there’s a spoiler what time do I? 

 

0:02:02 – Brian

like to go to bed 8.30 to 9. Yeah, but then we’ll lay there sharing reels till 10.30. Am I wrong or wrong. 

 

0:02:10 – Kayla

No, not usually that late. If we’ve got to be up at 5 the next morning, some nights we will share reels with each other for about 30 minutes. But yeah, You’re the worst. I wake up every morning to like 10 reels from you. 

 

0:02:26 – Brian

Well, I try to let you go to sleep. Thank you, you do so. Yeah, I have that CPAP. 

 

0:02:30 – Kayla

So, B, we’re going to tell on ourselves. There was a night last week that we did stay up later than we should have, and it kind of got us in trouble with Chick-fil-A. What did we do? 

 

0:02:41 – Brian

We told each other OK, we’re going to sneak over there, we’re going to get it’s five minutes from our house. We’re going to sneak over there, we’re going to get us an ice cream cone and we’ll get back home. This was the night of the debate and we said you know what, we’ll be back in time to watch the debate. And we both said we’re not going to tell anybody about this, it’s going to be our little secret, because we turned over a new leaf, you know we’ve been doing really well. 

 

0:03:08 – Kayla

We just decided we were going to splurge, but we didn’t want to have to fess up to this. But God checked us, as he always does. 

 

0:03:14 – Brian

Chick-fil-A drive-thru paid for it and we get up to where you collect your food, and so I hear Mr. Sanders turned, and it’s one of the youth from our church. 

 

0:03:27 – Kayla

Of course it is. 

 

0:03:28 – Brian

And so. 

 

0:03:32 – Kayla

He hands us our ice cream. 

 

0:03:32 – Brian

So we’re busted, just busted, so we couldn’t get away with that one, but the ice cream was really good. And it’s allergen free for me. Yeah, so I try to avoid there, but that night it was. 

 

0:03:46 – Kayla

Now I want ice cream. 

 

0:03:47 – Brian

Well, anything my darling wants, my darling gets. 

 

0:03:54 – Kayla

May we reintroduce ourselves. 

 

0:03:56 – Brian

Yes, we have a lot of new listeners to the podcast. We do so. I’m Brian, I’m Kayla, we’ve been married going on. 

 

0:04:05 – Kayla

It will be 31 years in August. Yeah. 

 

0:04:08 – Brian

We’re both believers in Jesus. We are conservative Presbyterians. I’d like to say that we both work in ministry. 

 

0:04:18 – Kayla

We do. We work with Positive Alternative Radio and it has five sister stations and we do also have an app that people can listen to, but we are located in Blacksburg. We have stations in Kentucky, Tennessee, North Carolina, Virginia, but we are here. The hub is here in Blacksburg, Virginia, which is where our offices are. Hub is here in Blacksburg, Virginia, which is where our offices are. You are our executive vice president, I am our vice president for partner service. Yeah, for donor care. So how did we meet? 

 

0:04:56 – Brian

Oh gosh, I was serving at the Christian radio station in New Orleans, WBSN Life Songs, and our office manager went on maternity leave, and so you came in for the summer. I did, and took her role for the summer. 

 

0:05:14 – Kayla

And my parents purchased your boss’s trailer on campus. 

 

0:05:19 – Brian

So, and I remember walking in and I saw you the first time and I skipped, I didn’t even say hi to you, I just walked right past you Not even a. 

 

0:05:28 – Kayla

who are you? 

 

0:05:29 – Brian

Nope, I walked right past. You went back to my friend’s office, Stan, and I told him I have to kiss that girl or I will die. I found you were just that beautiful, and still are. 

 

0:05:43 – Kayla

No. 

 

0:05:45 – Brian

So that’s how we met. 

 

0:05:46 – Kayla

We spent the whole summer getting to know each other. You were a very curious person. 

 

0:05:50 – Brian

And you flirted, I did flirt with you. All throughout the summer. Yes, asked her out various times, three times. What did you tell me each time? 

 

0:05:57 – Kayla

No, because my grandma said do not date your boss. 

 

0:06:02 – Brian

But you flirted with me the whole time. Do not date your boss, but you flirted with me the whole time. 

 

0:06:06 – Kayla

I did, but it was a great summer, and then we did end up having our first date after I went back to college. You know, each couple has to decide this for themselves. We met in June, we started dating in September, we got engaged in December and we have been together for, like we said, nearly 31 years. 

 

0:06:26 – Brian

Got married in August. 

 

0:06:28 – Kayla

We have spent. 11 of those years we lived in New Orleans, Louisiana, and the last 20 years we have been here in Virginia. 

 

0:06:38 – Brian

We were never able to have children, no, but we did have— A very, very, very spooled dog we did. His name was Sprocket. We had him. For what? Very, very spool dog? We did, his name was Sprocket. 

 

0:06:46 – Kayla

We had him for what? 14 and a half years we did at 13. 

 

0:06:51 – Brian

And 13, 14, I don’t know. He was with us a long time and it wasn’t long enough, but he was the world’s greatest pup. 

 

0:06:59 – Kayla

He really was. He had the quirkiest personality. 

 

0:07:03 – Brian

Love him, yeah Still do so, Miss Sanders, how would you describe me? 

 

0:07:10 – Kayla

How would I describe me? You have a heart the size of Texas. Your love for the Lord is undeniable. Anyone who meets you knows that you have a passion for exploring and understanding Scripture and getting to know God more deeply. You are all in. You’re all in on friendships. You’re all in on your work. You live out loud. You love life. You are exuberant, you are charming, you are generous. You’re one of the most hilarious people I’ve ever had the privilege of doing life with. Um. You’re a magnet for crazy. True, we share stories on here all the time of strange things that happen. It just seems to find you. I just show up. You are an incredible storyteller and you make others feel at ease. I find it amazing the way when we are with new people, you help them to feel instantly comfortable. You also have never left me wondering if I am cherished by you. Since day one, I have known where I stand with B. 

 

0:08:31 – Brian

How would I describe you? Beautiful? You’re more beautiful today than you were the day I married you. 

 

0:08:38 – Kayla

Whatever, I’m not even sure I come out of my hair today. 

 

0:08:41 – Brian

See, I didn’t say a word the whole time she said all of it. I didn’t say a word. 

 

0:08:46 – Kayla

Even though I disagree with most of it. 

 

0:08:50 – Brian

You are more beautiful today than the day that I married you. You are kind, you are patient, you are full of grace, you are stately, you are proper. 

 

0:09:03 – Kayla

I’m British. 

 

0:09:05 – Brian

She’s British. 

 

0:09:05 – Kayla

We have to be proper. 

 

0:09:07 – Brian

She is, she’s proper. You love Jesus, your faith. I’m jealous of your faith because you just believing and you just trusting and I can’t do that. You are a planner. You like for things A, b, c, d, e, f, g. You like that. I’m like, well, we’ll go to A, then we’ll bop over to Z, then we’ll come back to D. No, I mean so, but you’re a planner and I love that. You make me a better man and you make me want to know Jesus more, want to know Jesus more. You create a beautiful home where we are comfortable or things are at ease. When you enter a room, peace enters the room. So I thank God every day that he brought you into my life. 

 

0:09:58 – Kayla

No, what would you say? 

 

0:10:00 – Brian

Stop right there. Do you believe any of what I just said? 

 

0:10:03 – Kayla

Me I told you. What are the golden rules of our marriage? 

 

0:10:10 – Brian

Well. 

 

0:10:11 – Kayla

We have a few. We have a few things that these are the things that are sacred to us. 

 

0:10:15 – Brian

We strive daily to make Jesus the center of our relationship. We do devos, we usually discuss the devos with each other, and we try to live that out. When I say making Jesus the center of our relationship, what I mean by that? Well, I’ll say the first one we try to die to ourselves daily. In other words, I want to make much of you and I see you trying to make much of me. So it’s a little bit of a contest some days to see who can make the most of each other. 

 

0:10:48 – Kayla

But if you are always about what you can get out of a relationship, it’s going to be very contentious and it’s going to be a harder road because you’re going to live in a place where you’re constantly disappointed. If it’s all about taking rather than giving We’ve said this we acknowledge what makes the other person feel cherished. Early in our marriage, we had the privilege of going to a conference that was put on by Gary Smalley. 

 

0:11:19 – Brian

We had lunch with him that day we did. 

 

0:11:21 – Kayla

It was the five love languages, and we learned that your love languages are words of affirmation and physical touch, mine are acts of service and quality time, and we kind of blend on that one. The more we’ve been together, you’re more about quality time as well. 

 

0:11:42 – Brian

I like being with you. 

 

0:11:43 – Kayla

So it’s important to us that we acknowledge those in each other Y’all. If he wants to make me feel adored, take the trash out. That’s all I need, and you do it all the time, so yeah. 

 

0:11:55 – Brian

Now the difference is I think you can put more in it than she does. Let’s just say that. We’ll leave that there um okay, um, sorry, we communicate and we talk a lot, yeah, so we talk in the morning, we talk during the day, we talk at night, we talk when we go to bed. We talk about everything now I will say there are. There are no secrets no, there are no secrets here. We just try to put everything on the table. Now I’ll say this she is more of the talker than I am. 

 

0:12:28 – Kayla

I’m a verbal processor, I’m not. Yeah, and you’re very good at enduring that, because I know there are times when I don’t endure that. 

 

Well, there are times when I really need to sit with something and I need to talk it through, and you are incredibly patient with that. I can tell when there is something bothering you. Sometimes I have to give you time before I smoke it out. You need to sit with things. I can tell when it’s time to say, okay, spill it. But the thing that makes me concerned for marriages is when people say, well, we’re too busy to communicate. 

 

0:13:02 – Brian

You’re not. That’s a danger sign. 

 

0:13:04 – Kayla

That’s a danger sign. That’s a red flag. Never stop dating. 

 

0:13:11 – Brian

We just had a lunch date yeah, we just went down to a little place and had shrimp tacos. 

 

0:13:14 – Kayla

They were amazing. Yeah, they were great. You have to make time for each other. 

 

0:13:18 – Brian

And we talked there. We were talking about our next vacation, we were talking about what I did this morning and some of the plans that I’m trying to get through that kind of stuff. So we do that. Let me go back to the whole thing about communication. My brain works that like. I will think something through and then I’m done with it and I’ll put it aside. What I’ve had to learn is I need to keep some kind of a checklist in my head that when we talk, I can share all that stuff with you. 

 

0:13:48 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:13:48 – Brian

Because we process stuff differently. Like you said, you’re a verbal processor. Yeah, I’m not. 

 

0:13:55 – Kayla

You’ve already worked it out and moved on. 

 

0:13:56 – Brian

I’ve already worked it out and moved on. 

 

0:13:57 – Kayla

Yeah, but you realize I may need to know that piece of the puzzle Correct so that I have a glimpse into your life. Yes, this one is a big deal. Protect each other and what you have, and I want to explain this just a little bit. There’s several ways to do this. I am always going to be B’s biggest cheerleader. I’m going to be the one that speaks positively of him to others and I’m encouraging him and cheering him. On. Another way that this kind of falls out we practice firm boundaries with others and that looks like we do not have friendships. I don’t have friendships with guys. You don’t have friendships with females. 

 

0:14:44 – Brian

Some people say that’s old school. I just find that it protects the marriage and it protects purity. 

 

0:14:49 – Kayla

Now we will have friendships together that are other couple.

 

0:14:53 – Brian

Yeah, we’ll go out as a couple. 

 

0:14:55 – Kayla

We don’t make a habit of you texting other women. Now let me clarify this because you do have to in your work. But if it’s a side relationship and someone is texting you, I’ll actually show you the text I’m going to get copied in on the response. 

 

0:15:11 – Brian

I’ll usually loop you in on that text thread, that kind of stuff. 

 

0:15:14 – Kayla

But we’ve had situations where people have asked things as simple as could you give me a ride to the airport? 

 

0:15:20 – Brian

No, no, sorry, I can’t, I’m not doing that. No, no, Sorry, I can’t, I’m not doing that. 

 

0:15:23 – Kayla

You know, we just be careful what limits you don’t put on your relationship that leave you kind of open and exposed to any potential. So yeah, that’s us. We’re not saying these are the rules that have to work for every marriage, but this is how we have been able to thrive. 

 

0:15:46 – Brian

And that’s what I want to say. I’ve never gotten bored with you. I still find you interesting. I still find how you respond to things fascinating. 

 

0:15:56 – Kayla

You still surprise me. I’m still learning things about you. I mean, at Disney, I just learned that you’re scared of heights. I never knew that. I mean we Disney, I just learned that you’re scared of heights. I never knew that. I mean we’ve been together, for we’ve known each other for 32 years.

 

0:16:09 – Brian

I’m not necessarily scared of heights. I’m scared on a certain ride that makes you feel like you’re 80,000 feet in the air. Now, if I was sitting on the ground I’d be fine with that, but this ride it actually elevates you off the ground and it tilts you. I can’t handle that. Okay, I can’t. I can’t handle. But see, I’m fine in an airplane. For some reason my mind says my feet are on the ground, it’s on the plane, but there you go. 

 

0:16:37 – Kayla

Yeah, I’m not agreeing with you on that one. 

 

0:16:38 – Brian

I wish that they’d give us each like a little bouncy suit, like on the plane. Oh, my gosh so you’d hit and it’d blow up and it’d bounce off Well after the plane rides I’ve heard about this week we might need one. 

 

0:16:47 – Kayla

There you go. I will say this the beauty of 31-ish years, and we’ll spend a future podcast on this. 

 

0:16:54 – Brian

there is a comfortable silence at times we talked about this the other night how we seem to hit a good rhythm. 

 

0:17:02 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:17:03 – Brian

That we do the day to day. 

 

0:17:04 – Kayla

Well, we talk and and it’s not always about the big showy moment. Sometimes it’s about the simplicity of life. Yeah, so yeah, we’ll come back to that. 

 

0:17:17 – Brian

I love this little game and you always. I never get to choose, you always get to choose. 

 

0:17:23 – Kayla

So the next time we play, no, I will let you choose. 

 

0:17:26 – Brian

My feelings are choose. 

 

0:17:27 – Kayla

You always get to choose, so the next time we play, I will let you choose my feelings are hurt, you’ll recover. You have a million times. 

 

0:17:32 – Brian

The compassion is deep, all right. 

 

0:17:35 – Kayla

This or that. 

 

0:17:35 – Brian

Okay, what’s the first one, ocean or swimming pool? 

 

0:17:39 – Kayla

I am swimming pool all the way. 

 

0:17:44 – Brian

I need to be able to see what’s underneath my feet. I will. Usually I’ll do neither because I’m just not comfortable, but if we’re at the ocean I’ll swim out midway so I can pee. Wow, like I can stand up to my waist. So I mean, nobody knows it’s the ocean. Oh my gosh, them fish pee in there. 

 

0:18:00 – Kayla

Will you do that this summer, knowing that one Like straight over there was a shark attack? 

 

0:18:07 – Brian

this summer. 

 

0:18:08 – Kayla

Will you really? 

 

0:18:10 – Brian

How big’s he got to be to take a bite out of me? Look at me, we’re talking jaws Quit. 

 

0:18:18 – Kayla

So snacks, Sweet or salty. 

 

0:18:23 – Brian

I can’t do sweet so I’m going to have to go with salty. But I’ve been doing like like carrots and little cherry tomatoes and broccoli and cheese, so I don’t think that’s really salty either you oh, I’m sweet all the way brownies, cookies chocolate, all right. 

 

0:18:42 – Kayla

No, you really haven’t regained your stuff, really not every once in a while I have a taste for dark chocolate. 

 

0:18:48 – Brian

Now give this woman a good gummy bear. 

 

0:18:51 – Kayla

Oh, a really good gummy bear, and, yeah, I’m taking it down.

 

0:18:53 – Brian

Yeah, she loves a good gummy bear, introvert or extrovert. 

 

0:18:58 – Kayla

I am an introvert all the way. 

 

0:19:07 – Brian

I am what’s called an ambivert I can be around people, yeah.

 

0:19:09 – Kayla

I love being around people, but after two or three hours you need to recharge. I need to go, get in a corner somewhere, recharge, yeah, and I’ll be fine but when we are in social settings, you are energized, whereas I am just dying on the vine. I just it’s like somebody take me out. 

 

0:19:26 – Brian

Yeah who are all these people and why will they not go home? And then I’m going to be awkward. 

 

0:19:34 – Kayla

I mean just last night, no, I am Be. Just last night at Bible study I realized Kay, just listen, don’t try to say anything because you’re going to step off in it. I just do all the time. It’s who I am, you’re not awkward Spender or saver. 

 

0:19:53 – Brian

I’d say we’re both savers. We are, but if I’m going to buy something, it’s usually your toys are expensive. Yeah, like right now I’m looking at a new backpack that has that’s like you just bought one. Can I explain what I’m looking at? It’s the Star Wars Empire. 

 

0:20:14 – Kayla

Oh God help me. 

 

0:20:16 – Brian

OK. 

 

0:20:16 – Kayla

OK, ok, drive or fly. 

 

0:20:22 – Brian

Based on that reaction, you know, I guess I’m probably not coming to my house. Go ahead, We’ll pray about it. You see that guess I’m probably not coming to my house. Go ahead. 

 

0:20:31 – Kayla

We’ll pray about it. You see, that’s a no. What is it a good, What is it a good mom always says Maybe, so yeah, okay, back to the questions. Drive or fly. 

 

0:20:42 – Brian

I’ll fly In a heartbeat, in a heartbeat, if it’s seven hours or under. 

 

0:20:48 – Kayla

I’m all about driving. 

 

0:20:50 – Brian

If it was 45 minutes, I’d fly. I hate Really. I would I mean, if I could have a private helicopter. 

 

0:20:56 – Kayla

No see, that’s on those little bitty planes. What? 

 

0:20:59 – Brian

if you had a private With like a two-seater? What if you had a private helicopter? No I don’t think I’d be down in a heartbeat, summer or winter summer, all the way. I’m gonna do spring and fall, even though it’s not a choice no, I’m gonna make you choose summer or winter probably summer. I can’t endure the cold, the cold is just too much now but I do agree with you. 

 

0:21:23 – Kayla

I’m a huge fan of spring and fall, but summer I can find ways to to cool down. I just my teeth stay clenched in the winter because it’s so cold. I can morning person or night out you can’t take enough clothes off to get cool okay, I didn’t see that coming oh, do what we should definitely move on Morning person or night owl. 

 

0:21:48 – Brian

Morning. You used to be a night owl. 

 

0:21:51 – Kayla

I used to be a night owl. 

 

0:21:54 – Brian

I think since joining the gym, the gym’s kicked you high. 

 

0:21:57 – Kayla

It’s kicked my tail into being, I will say this there is something amazing about the peace of the early morning. I totally grasp. Now new morning mercies, because watching the sun come up, watching a day restart, it’s quiet, it’s peaceful, until someone starts telling Lincoln stories. You’ve gotten better. 

 

0:22:21 – Brian

If you’re new to the podcast, I love Abraham Lincoln. He’s a hero. I wrote a book Leadership Endurance. About a third of it is about Abraham Lincoln. You can find it on Amazon. 

 

0:22:31 – Kayla

And it’s a great book and you have great stories. 

 

0:22:35 – Brian

But you just don’t want to hear them at 5. 

 

0:22:36 – Kayla

I just don’t want to hear them at 5 o’clock in the morning. Why that’s a new morning mercy for you, because it’s 5 o’clock in the morning. 

 

0:22:42 – Brian

All right Cake or pie Cake all the way. 

 

0:22:46 – Kayla

I can’t do either, but if I could I’m going to choose, I would say this would be my guess, cake with a little bit of milk. 

 

0:22:55 – Brian

I’d put a piece of cake in the bowl and pour milk over it. Yep. So steak or shrimp, both you got to choose one. 

 

0:23:07 – Kayla

I’ll choose steak. I’m going to oh, really, okay. Well, it depends on who’s cooking the shrimp. 

 

0:23:16 – Brian

I don’t want to die that’s not on this piece of paper. Right here it says steak or shrimp you’re a little sassy, aren’t you? 

 

0:23:23 – Kayla

I saw that. Look, Disney or universal, there’s no contest Disney, Disney, all the way universal. We have some friends who they prefer universal studios and they’re. 

 

0:23:27 – Brian

I saw that Look Disney or Universal, there’s no contest. 

 

0:23:29 – Kayla

Disney, Disney, all the way. Universal doesn’t even we have some friends who they prefer Universal. 

 

0:23:32 – Brian

Studios and they’re wrong. Oh snap, I mean they don’t have. There’s Mickey and Minnie and Donald and Daisy. Our preference is Disney World, if you’re a Christian, you go Disney World. 

 

0:23:45 – Kayla

Okay, that escalated quickly, so there we go. That’s this edition of this, or that. Do you have some others that you would like to add? 

 

0:23:55 – Brian

So which Disney park? Epcot all the way. Hollywood Studios. Yeah so what’s that? Ice cream or yogurt? Oh, ice cream, yeah cream. Yeah that’s up the Lord. Pork chop. Or ribs, oh, pork chop Really. You’re not a rib fan are you? 

 

0:24:20 – Kayla

I’m not a huge rib fan. Again, it depends on who cooked them. 

 

0:24:24 – Brian

Here we go. It’s all these little Y’all. It’s the fine print in the contract that gets me. 

 

0:24:30 – Kayla

It has for 31 years. That’s not. 

 

0:24:33 – Brian

There’s no fine print. Hey, thanks for listening to this week’s edition of the podcast, and we’d like to send you a peas and carrots mug, a peas and carrots pen, a notepad and some Some stickers. No, what do you call them? Cute little stickers, cute little stickers. 

 

0:24:49 – Kayla

No what do you call them Cute little stickers? I’m sorry, though. The notepad is really cute too. It has little checkboxes where you can make your list, and it’s like a Post-it note. Each of the little sheets come off so they will stick to your refrigerator or wherever you need them to. Yeah, I’m in love. 

 

0:25:07 – Brian

I got tickled last week Adam Reed, who’s my executive assistant and one of my best friends in the world, because whenever y’all win something, he sends it out. He says, B, can I have some of these notepads? 

 

0:25:19 – Kayla

You’re the one that ships them. You don’t have to ask. 

 

0:25:23 – Brian

Oh, so you’ve got a thousand of them in your garage. Take as many as you want. 

 

0:25:27 – Kayla

So if you would like to have your own cute little stickers and notepad, the first couple of people or more I mean, we’ve not really held to this, honestly but the first few people that go to our website answer the question correctly and you will win all of the above. Our website is peasandcarrotspodcast.com. 

 

0:25:47 – Brian

When you get there, you can go to peasandcarrotspodcast.com. When you get there, you can go to peasandcarrotspodcast.com. When you get there, click on the trivia button and this week’s question. 

 

0:25:57 – Kayla

Are you a morning person or a night owl? All right. 

 

0:26:01 – Brian

So you’re a morning person or night owl? Go to peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Answer that question. 

 

0:26:06 – Kayla

You can search the Peas and Carrots podcast wherever you get your podcasts, or visit our website. Again, that is peasandcarrotspodcast.com. When you do, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast. 

 

0:26:17 – Brian

You can also follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Just search for the Peas and Carrots podcast. You know how the weatherman says there’s like a 60% chance of rain or a 40% chance of rain. 

 

0:26:28 – Kayla

Okay. 

 

0:26:29 – Brian

What’s the percentage chance of getting a Chick-fil-A ice cream today? 

 

0:26:33 – Kayla

Oh, probably 100. Okay, all right. There you go.

 

0:26:35 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Growing through the challenges we face and finding hope along the way. That’s the Jesus Fix It Podcast with Jess. Check out jesusfixit.com or search Jesus Fix It wherever you listen to podcasts.

 

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Season 3, Episode 22: To My 20 Year Old Self

Can We Talk?
To My 20 Year Old Self - Episode Description

Ever wondered what advice you’d give your younger self if you had the chance? Join us for an amusing and heartfelt episode where we start with a light-hearted chat about cake and fruit, before navigating the challenges of sweltering heat and a fierce storm. Kayla recounts her journey of finally adjusting her glasses after a year of discomfort, while Brian celebrates a significant milestone in his weight loss journey, complete with encouraging words from his doctor. We share reflections on self-acceptance, embracing awkwardness, and the value of being true to oneself with a sprinkle of humor from Kayla’s socially awkward moment at Disney.

Celebrating individuality and living life to its fullest is at the heart of our next discussion. We share advise we would like to give to our 20-year-old selves. We talk about the joy of unique passions, particularly the love for books and learning, and emphasize the importance of staying true to who we are rather than conforming to others’ expectations. Our conversation meanders through the wealth of memories and moments over material possessions and highlights the growth that comes from understanding faith and prioritizing relationships. A brief mention of our Disney resort adventure segues into a dive into our current reading lists, showcasing the books that are captivating us right now. Don’t miss out on the laughter and reflections in this episode!

To My 20 Year Old Self - Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 

 

0:00:11 – Brian

Welcome to the peas and carrots podcast. Hello. I’m Kayla, I’m Brian. 

 

0:00:19 – Kayla

Who am I? Where am I? What day is this? 

 

0:00:22 – Brian

you just had a piece of cake. I did I had some birthdays here. We’ve had some birthdays in the office, so just had a piece of cake. I did. I had some birthdays here. 

 

0:00:26 – Kayla

We’ve had some birthdays in the office, so yeah, a little piece of cake. 

 

0:00:30 – Brian

I had fruit. 

 

0:00:31 – Kayla

I feel judged Well. I’m not saying that, no, I know you’re not. 

 

0:00:36 – Brian

I was living vicariously through you. 

 

0:00:38 – Kayla

It was. 

 

0:00:39 – Brian

It’s a strawberry kind you like. 

 

0:00:41 – Kayla

It’s like a strawberry shortcake kind of yeah, what kind of strawberry kind do you like? It’s like a strawberry shortcake kind of yeah, wow, it’s good. 

 

0:00:47 – Brian

Okay, it’s really good. So what’s up in the world of P&C peas and carrots? We are falling off the bone that comes from a meme. 

 

0:00:56 – Kayla

It’s hot. 

 

0:00:57 – Brian

Like they put something in the oven and it falls off the bone. Dear Lord, we falling off the bone down here, and the guy says Lord, you can turn down the heat, because we are falling off the bone and it’s been dry. 

 

0:01:08 – Kayla

So dry. We finally had a storm last night. And it was a storm, our windows rattled. 

 

0:01:14 – Brian

Yeah, it’s been a while since we’ve had a storm like that. 

 

0:01:18 – Kayla

It’s so dry that our poor yard guy could not mow this week. So that’s where we are. So I have new glasses, oh, and I have a confession, I’ve had them for a year, but I didn’t like the way they fit, and so I’ve been fussing with them. I watched a tutorial on how to fix your glasses. Did you know that if you stick the like, what do they call them? The arms the arms in water. You bend the, they become pliable, so I was able to you did not. 

 

0:01:49 – Brian

Yes, I did. So Hang on, Michaela Elizabeth. 

 

0:01:54 – Kayla

I adjusted my glasses when did you do this the other day? So they’re progressive lenses. What would you have done if you had broken them? Well, I’d have had to go back to the eye doctor, but it’s been a year, so I mean, it’s a whole thing, this whole getting used to a new prescription. 

 

0:02:11 – Brian

you what is it? 

 

0:02:11 – Kayla

but I’m like a I’m like a bobbing doll. I keep looking up, looking down. If you know, you know, if you wear a progressive lens, you kind of have to find where to look like a computer screen yeah, but these are a different size frame. 

 

So, yeah, I’ve been laughing at myself this week because I have to hold my head at a certain angle to see things on the computer screen and then when I look down to read and going upstairs is a whole I gotta take mine off when we’re like looking for something on tv, like when a guide comes up. 

 

0:02:44 – Brian

I got to take them all. 

 

0:02:44 – Kayla

And that’s when I need to make sure I have mine on. 

 

0:02:47 – Brian

So there’s, that. 

 

0:02:49 – Kayla

You have some big news and you can share it, or I will share it, but if you don’t, I’m going to. You had a doctor’s appointment this week. 

 

0:02:58 – Brian

Oh, I’m wondering what in the world’s going on? What’s the big news? Yeah, I’ve lost some more weight down 13 more pounds so but it takes a lot longer. 

 

0:03:10 – Kayla

Your test results are trending very well. Yes. Your doctor was very proud of you. 

 

0:03:15 – Kayla

He was, and I am. You’ve been working really hard, so yeah. So, between new glasses and good test results, it’s been quite a week. It’s hot Hot Like fried chicken. 

 

0:03:28 – Brian

Yeah, People said, you know, is it a good time to come visit Blacksburg? What’s it like? Like well, you’ve been cremated. I mean it’s oh, it’s the. 

 

0:03:41 – Kayla

Gosh. So I was having a conversation with a friend the other night it was actually at our women’s Bible study and she shared something about a learning that she had in her 20s. And I was sitting there mesmerized hearing her talk about some of the things that she had figured out by her mid-20s, and so it kind of had me thinking what would I go back and tell my younger self? What are some things that now not in my twenties? I mean the things that I’ve learned just even in the last four to five years? So we decided we would share some of those. What are the things that you would go back and tell your younger self? 

 

0:04:27 – Brian

Before we start, let’s get this out of the way. Me and Ms Sanders both have a lot of drainage going on. 

 

0:04:33 – Kayla

Oh, these allergies are yeah. 

 

0:04:35 – Brian

So if you hear us hacking and coughing, that’s what’s going on. We’ll try not to First time. The first thing I would say to my younger self is be who you are, not who you think you need to be to be accepted. Because I have felt for years and years and years that I had to be a certain way in order to be accepted. I had to be overly generous to get people to like me. 

 

0:05:03 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:05:03 – Brian

That I have to be humorous so that people wouldn’t look at my weight, or that the fact that I stutter you would do things to deflect yeah. Yes, so just embrace who you are, and not everybody in the world is going to like you. And I’m a pretty great guy, yeah, you are so one of mine is your awkwardness. 

 

0:05:25 – Kayla

Okay, it makes you relatable. So One of mine is your awkwardness, kay, it makes you relatable, you’re not awkward. 

 

0:05:27 – Brian

Honey. 

 

0:05:28 – Kayla

I am so socially awkward I am. We were at Disney the other day and the lady said I hope you enjoy the rest of your day in the park. And I looked at her and I said you too. She’s working at a restaurant, she’s not going anywhere. And then I realized, oh, I shouldn’t have said that. So I am so awkward, but it puts other people at ease that I’m not well it makes them feel better about themselves well, there’s that and they’re welcome I just I struggle with small talk because I’m an introvert and so small talk is painful for me. 

 

It’s just like so that’s when I become really awkward. I just want to be like so, do you have a dog? What’s your dog’s name? Yeah, I’m just being honest. So yeah, what’s another one you would share? 

 

0:06:24 – Brian

It’s easier to lose weight when you’re younger, but don’t stop trying when you’re older. I mean, if I could go back. A big regret I have is not starting this health journey when I was like 30, 35. It’s hard, it’s hard, but I wish I would have done it then. Yeah, establish some habits back then, because now I’m like playing catch up and this stuff likes to hang on. 

 

0:06:51 – Kayla

So that’s too funny because you didn’t know my list and I didn’t know yours. And this is my next one. Don’t quit because something gets hard. Pivot and keep going. I wish I had not stopped exercising when running got hard. I used to love to run the first 10 years of our marriage. You used to love yeah she’d run and I loved it. It was very relaxing for me the first time she got dressed to go run. 

 

0:07:17 – Brian

I’m like who is chasing us? 

 

0:07:21 – Kayla

I don’t understand that, but then I started having knee issues and it started being harder. It took more, and so I quit. I just quit totally. I should have stepped up in another area. I wish I had not just stopped everything, and so that’s the lesson to me is if something becomes more challenging, don’t quit. Figure out maybe a new way to do that. 

 

0:07:49 – Brian

For me. There’s stuff in my past and I need if I could go back and tell myself this that it’s not your fault, what happened to you isn’t your fault, and release myself of false guilt. I’m doing better with that and I’m not going to go into all the issues, but it isn’t my fault. Other people made decisions and did things. 

 

0:08:14 – Kayla

You were the benefit of someone else’s bad decisions. 

 

0:08:16 – Brian

Yes, and so that’s all I want to say about that. 

 

0:08:22 – Kayla

I understand. This one has been a big realization for me, and I have just come to this y’all in the last three months. You don’t stink at friendship. There are some friends who are lifelong and there are some that are just for a season, and what I’m learning to tell myself in those moments when I label myself a failure because a friendship hasn’t lasted or it’s changed, is lean into the friendships that I do have and cherish them while they are a part of my life and stop accusing myself of stinking I think I even said that in a previous podcast is that I really stink at friendship and what God has revealed to me is I don’t like the uncomfortable of change. 

 

And so when a friendship changes, I assume that I must have done something wrong. Well, that’s not necessarily true. It could be that the two of us have just grown in different directions, or it could be that we’re in different stages of our life. 

 

0:09:28 – Brian

I think that they just can’t handle your like awesomeness. 

 

0:09:32 – Kayla

Oh, wow, well, OK, but no, just be OK with not. Every friendship is going to be with you from the start of your life to the finish of your life, and that doesn’t necessarily now. That is not a free card to be a jerk. And if if I have done something that has hurt someone, then I do need to make amends, that’s, I’m not giving myself a pass on situations where I have had to go to someone and say I’m sorry, I hurt you. This is where there’s just that natural progression. We’ve all been there where you call each other less, or you see each other less, or you just kind of have different hobbies and interests, and so I sit with this just false assumption that I failed and I should have done something to make it last. 

 

0:10:22 – Brian

For me, loving books doesn’t make me weird. 

 

0:10:26 – Kayla

No, it doesn’t. 

 

0:10:27 – Brian

Own your passion. I never had a passion to play football, never had a passion to play baseball. Golf Never had a passion to play baseball. Golf loved, but I never went out for the team. But I always felt outside, looking in, because my passion was learning, my passion was reading, my passion was, oh, tell me more about that. That was my passion, and so I always felt weird because I’d fishing with Dad and I love those memories but I don’t go fishing today. I did it because of dad. 

 

0:11:06 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:11:07 – Brian

You know I’d like to go to like a coffee bar where everybody’s reading the book. And that’s OK, that’s, and so you’re finding that to be acceptable, acceptable and to be OK with it. Yeah. 

 

0:11:19 – Kayla

Another one for me. Being true to who God made you is a superpower. Stay in your lane, chase the dreams that he has placed in your heart. That’s been a big one for me. It is OK, and y’all, I can’t say this enough the older I get, the less I want you just get to the point where you realize you have the things that matter. I’m not acquiring anymore. You and I talked about this the other night. We’re not in a phase of collecting, not things anyway. We are collecting memories and moments, and so you get to a point where you start to realize what has value to you, what doesn’t. 

 

It’s okay for me to embrace the qualities of God that set me apart and that make me add value. 

 

I’m not meant to be a carbon copy of someone else, and don’t apologize for showing up. There were seasons in my life where, because I could tell it was making someone else uncomfortable, I shrank back, and in the last two or three years, I have been able to show up and accept that these are the qualities God gave me. There was a time, you remember this, B, someone accused me of being too in the details. That quote I was a perfectionist and I was driving everyone crazy because I asked questions and I was handling details and details didn’t matter. What that person was communicating to me was I wasn’t them, and what I came to realize after a season was I’m not meant to be them, because it doesn’t work if we all just see the big picture. Some of us have to see the details so we can help the people who see the big picture. And once I started to embrace the fact that perfectionism, placed rightly is okay, I could thrive. So that one’s been a big one for me, chase, after who God made you to be. 

 

0:13:31 – Brian

That’s a cool quote and something you said I just want to build on. A full life isn’t a house full of things. 

 

0:13:37 – Kayla

No. 

 

0:13:38 – Brian

A full house is a life full of memories. 

 

0:13:42 – Kayla

Yeah, and we’ve worked really hard in that. You and I, we both have hobbies. Again, we have books, y’all. We have lots of books. And we have other things. I love shoes, not gonna lie, and y’all know I love pretty little sweaters. I love shoes, not gonna lie, and y’all know I love pretty little sweaters. But there comes a point where you realize that you get to capacity. I mean, you just do, you don’t need or want any more of those things. Maybe books is the exception, but we’ve just decided that we want to look back and say these are the things we did not these are the things we stored. 

 

0:14:22 – Brian

For me, Jesus doesn’t give up on me. Here’s what that means. He was with me when I was stupid. I used to be so unkind and I used to be very black and white on things. And as the older I get and the more I learn about him, there’s a lot more gray area and people say well, you know, the Bible says that. No, your interpretation of the Bible says that. The Bible actually says this. 

 

0:14:48 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:14:49 – Brian

Now that’s authoritative. Now, your opinion about that is not, and that’s a lesson I had to learn. 

 

0:14:57 – Kayla

So the final one for me is one that I actually did learn in my 20s, and I have carried it with me for 30 some odd years. I will never regret the trips I take. I will never regret the memories that I’ve made, the things that I have said no to, so that I can be the best wife that you need. It’s you first, always, and so my encouragement to people is do not apologize for making your people a priority, because that’s who God gave you. 

 

0:15:33 – Brian

Well, I’m a little bit moved in an emotional way. 

 

0:15:37 – Kayla

Okay. 

 

0:15:40 – Brian

This next segment is about books. We’re reading, but there’s something about Disney that we didn’t bring up last week. I want to hit real quick, then we’ll go to the books. Okay, we stayed on property at a very nice resort. We did Dear Disney. Would you please install proper height toilets? Our toilet was for elementary school children, Am I right? I was not that short Baby. It was six inches off the floor. I almost popped a knee. 

 

0:16:12 – Kayla

It wasn’t that bad. 

 

0:16:13 – Brian

And then we come home and we got king-size toilets and I’m getting leg cramps because I’m used to having to squat what’s wrong. You haven’t been through that. Oh my gosh, what I did not expect to hear this today. You don’t think that toilet at Disney was? 

 

0:16:26 – Kayla

I did not expect to hear this today. You don’t think that toilet at Disney was old? 

 

0:16:29 – Brian

Well, I mean, it was a little low to the ground, but I mean, I almost had to have you come in here and pick me up a few times. 

 

0:16:35 – Kayla

You have a commercial grade toilet at home so you’re a little bit spoiled, but it was friends, it was a normal toilet. I will say it was not a kindergarten classroom. And again, if you know, you know that was not a normal sized toilet. 

 

0:16:49 – Brian

Yes, it was yeah for a fifth grader. Do you feel better now?

 

0:16:52 – Kayla

Yes, Okay, they’re not going to change. 

 

I hate to tell you. So what are we reading? Well, this will just be like a quick hit. Someone asked me the other day. They said you haven’t told us lately what you’re reading, and I miss that. So one of the books I’m reading is a book by Lysa TerKeurst. It’s good boundaries and goodbyes. Loving others without losing the best of who you are and y’all you’ve heard me talk about this before. Boundaries are a big deal to me because I carried a lot of false narratives for a long time about who I was supposed to be to please other people, and usually the people without boundaries are people pleasers. So this has been a fantastic read so far. 

 

0:17:49 – Brian

Character Matters and Other Life Lessons from George HW Bush by his chief of staff after he left the presidency, named Gene Becker. The book is fantastic. You read me a few excerpts from this, and it’s full of stories about the 41st president. Yeah, y’all get that book. You will laugh, you will cry. It is fantastic. 

 

0:18:09 – Kayla

Another book I’m reading is it’s an actual Bible study book. Our women’s group is going through it on Tuesdays. It’s, I believe it’s, 10 chapters. Each chapter is standalone. So if you have a women’s group that is looking for a book that you could do with your group. It’s called Identity Theft Reclaiming the Truth of Our Identity in Christ, and it has been a real refresher to me of things that the false narratives that we tend to tell ourselves when our actual identity is in him. This past week we talked about how we don’t think we are enough in Christ that we feel like it’s this plus this equals. And this has been a great book, just a good reminder to all of us of whose we are. 

 

0:19:01 – Brian

I’m reading Eric Larson’s latest release called the Demon of Unrest, and it’s the story of Fort Sumter during the Civil War and that’s how the Civil War started, is that? And it has Lincoln in it. It’s a true story and it’s about the whole start of the Civil War and they call that particular area in this particular conflict. You know, that’s the whole demon of. 

 

0:19:27 – Kayla

Uncast. Oh, okay, that’s what that means. So I have to give a shout out to my Joy FM friends and they have me hooked on a series and, yes, it’s a thriller. 

 

0:19:39 – Brian

Now let me just say this about these Joy FM friends you got to keep a good eye on them. Okay, Stop. 

 

0:19:46 – Kayla

I love them, but you got to keep a good eye on them. But I’m reading a book by Frida McFadden called the House Maid. What’s her name? Frida McFadden. 

 

0:19:51 – Brian

I guarantee you that’s got to be a ghost name. It’s a ghost.

 

0:19:53 – Kayla

No, she actually writes it oh she writes it. 

 

0:19:56 – Brian

It’s a stage name. 

 

0:19:57 – Kayla

Yes, but it’s about a maid who moves into her house, and I won’t say any more than that. I’m not saying anything, I don’t want to give anything away, but thank you, to my joy from friends, they’ve gifted me my latest murder mystery. 

 

0:20:16 – Brian

We Christian people read a lot about death. I’m just going to tell you how do you die? Well, read the book. The last book I’m reading is John Maxwell’s High Road Leadership. It’s about always taking the higher road to be the better person to treat people right Cool. And it’s very challenging but also very inspiring. 

 

0:20:40 – Kayla

Yeah, and the last one I’m reading for now is by Will Gadara. It’s Unreasonable Hospitality. I love this book, and it may end up being my book of the year. 

 

0:20:52 – Brian

It’s pretty good. 

 

0:20:53 – Kayla

It’s an incredible read, but if you work in any kind of customer experience, you need to read this book. 

 

0:21:02 – Brian

I agree, hey, we got a peas and carrots coffee mug here. We have some notepads. We have some book. I agree, hey, we got a Peas and Carrots coffee mug here. 

 

0:21:07 – Kayla

We have some notepads. 

 

0:21:08 – Brian

We have some stickers, some pens. 

 

0:21:11 – Kayla

And you could win all that? Yes, you could, by answering a question. That question is. What are you reading? 

 

0:21:18 – Brian

Okay, to do that, you go to our website peasandcarrotspodcast.com. When you get there, you click on. 

 

0:21:26 – Kayla

Look for the trivia button. Click the trivia button again. Go to peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Click that button. Answer the question. We want to know what are you reading? And y’all we’re going to assume you’re reading the Bible, because we are too, but we want to know something else that you’re reading. So we get it. You love Jesus. We do as well, but share with us something we should read. 

 

0:21:52 – Brian

So go to the peasandcarrotspodcast.com and just click the trivia button and tell us what are you reading. Hey, thanks for listening to this week’s edition of the peas and carrots podcast. 

 

0:22:01 – Kayla

You can search peas and carrots podcast wherever you get your podcasts, or again visit our website peasandcarrotspodcast.com. And when you do, please don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast. 

 

0:22:12 – Brian

You can also follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast. One final note I’m waiting on that little survey to come from Disney about what we loved and didn’t like. 

 

0:22:22 – Kayla

They closed the survey. 

 

0:22:23 – Brian

I did not get to tell them about the toilet. Nope, what we loved and didn’t like. They closed the survey. I did not get to tell them about the toilet. Nope, I am calling that hotel.

 

0:22:33 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Life’s not perfect. That’s why God gave us friends like Melody and Candi. Check out QuirksBumpsandBruises.com, or search Quirks, Bumps, and Bruises wherever you listen to podcasts.

 

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Season 3, Episode 21: Our Sunshine State of Mind

Can We Talk?
Here's Your Sign - Episode Description

Join us on the Peas and Carrots Podcast as we return from a scorching yet delightful Disney trip, where we recount walking an impressive 50 miles and indulging in delectable treats. We also touch on the stark weather contrasts between Virginia and Florida, which resulted in severe sinus drainage. Get ready for a humorous tale involving Brian’s suspenders and a curious child in a Disney bathroom, followed by the challenges we faced upon returning to the gym. With more Disney stories hinted at for future episodes, this one is sure to keep you entertained.

We also explore various lessons we’re carrying into the second half of the year. We’ll talk about the complex journey of grief and its unexpected manifestations, especially during a trip to Disney World on Father’s Day. We reflect on the importance of self-compassion and share why Disney World holds a special place in our hearts, highlighting our favorite parks and the joy of connecting with people from around the globe. Tune in for a heartfelt and humorous episode that connects us all.

Our Sunshine State of Mind - Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 

 

0:00:11 – Kayla

Welcome to the peas and carrots podcast. 

 

0:00:13 – Brian

I’m Brian and I’m Kayla and we both have severe sinus drainage. 

 

0:00:18 – Kayla

Yeah, nothing like coming back to Virginia after two weeks in Florida. 

 

0:00:23 – Brian

So and of course, I’m allergy bubble boy, I’m allergic to everything you are so yeah, here we are. So what’s up in the world of Peas and Carrots? 

 

0:00:33 – Kayla

Disney was amazing and hot. 

 

0:00:37 – Brian

We went and, as of this recording, we’ve been back from Disney three or four days and we already miss it. 

 

0:00:45 – Kayla

We do I will say this we had a lot of concerned people and we love you for that. We did not have a lot of rain in our area. Now South Florida got hammered. 

 

0:00:57 – Brian

Now I’ll say this we had a couple of rain showers, we had a lot of hot. It was hot. It was hot, I mean ridiculous. 

 

0:01:05 – Kayla

We learned why we like to go in March and December. 

 

0:01:08 – Brian

Yeah, so it was um, but they had some kind of a tropical trough. It wasn’t a system. Yeah, just camp over south Florida like around Miami yeah, for days and it just uh flooded them. 

 

0:01:22 – Kayla

So I mean we had a couple of typical afternoon thunderstorms, but it was amazing, so yeah, so over the course of those days, Miss Kayla, how far did we walk? We stopped counting at 50 miles. We just said we’re not counting anymore. 

 

0:01:41 – Brian

And here’s the crazy thing we walked 50 miles and I gained five pounds. That’s not what I was going for Did you really? 

 

0:01:50 – Kayla

I did Well B. I had dessert with every meal and ice cream and cookies and more ice cream. 

 

0:01:57 – Brian

I didn’t see you have a cookie. 

 

0:02:00 – Kayla

Well, it doesn’t mean I didn’t have it. Oh, we did have those Oreos in the room, didn’t we? 

 

0:02:03 – Brian

Well, it doesn’t mean I didn’t have it. Oh, we did have those. 

 

0:02:04 – Kayla

Oreos in the room, didn’t we? I had all kinds of things, and I’m here for it. I’m not ashamed, I will say this. I’ve already got back down to like just two pounds, so we’re good, I’m getting back. 

 

0:02:17 – Brian

I don’t know how that happened. Okay. Well eating salads doesn’t hurt, let me say this we walked 50 miles. We flew home on a Tuesday. Wednesday was a rest day. We went to the gym Thursday morning. 

 

0:02:31 – Kayla

Yes. 

 

0:02:32 – Brian

It almost killed us. After two weeks away yes, and I talked to the young lady there who was the trainer that day and I told her she says your body is still recovering from walking 50 miles. 

 

0:02:43 – Kayla

Yeah, because. 

 

0:02:44 – Brian

I was literally doing this exercise where I was taking a plate putting over. When I say a plate, it’s like a 10 pound weight and you pick it up, put it over your head, deck down. You do that 30 times. I almost cried. It hurt that bad. I mean, it was ridiculous. 

 

0:03:00 – Kayla

But it was well worth it, and we do. We have lots of stories to share. We will was well worth it, and we do. We have lots of stories to share. We will save those for just a few minutes. Um, a teaser. We will go ahead and share one b. You had kind of an awkward experience in the bathroom well, that’s awkward to phrase it like that. 

 

0:03:20 – Brian

Uh, so you’re about to learn more about me than you ever bargained for. So I wear suspenders underneath my shirts. Keeps your pants up. So it keeps my pants up. I don’t want to tuck my shirts in and wear suspenders on the outside. I don’t think it looks good, so I wear them under my shirts to where they’re hidden. So that means that when I have to go to potty and sit down, I have to take your shorts off, I have to take my spenders off to get that off. 

 

Well, I’m sitting in a bathroom in like Hollywood Studios, at Disney World, and of course my suspenders are like on the floor, like because I’m just laying them out. And this dad and this kid come into the stall next to me. I could hear him talking and all of a sudden I guess this kid was probably four, five, six I see this little hand come underneath the little wall there in the stall and grabs my suspenders and starts pulling on. Well, I am just flipping out. So I reach down on the other end of my suspenders. I’m pulling them back. Well, I guess it turns into its own. Well, stupid me, I’m 56 and work out the gym, so I’m pretty strong here. I’ve got this six year old toddler and I pull it and all of a sudden his whole arms. 

 

0:04:42 – Kayla

Okay, for all the littles, a six-year-old is not a toddler. I just need to clarify that. Toddlers are two. 

 

0:04:52 – Brian

So, for all the six-year-olds, I’ve got you. Oh, for all the six-year-old listeners, we didn’t mean to offend you, okay. So anyway, I pull it back. Well, there’s this whole arm in my stall now. So now I’m wigging like I don’t need to pull this kid in my under the bathroom. 

 

And so now the dad is involved, he’s like, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go. I mean he’s getting really poor, dad, oh. And so finally, you know, this kid lets go, and I get my suspenders and I tuck them in to where nobody else can get a hold of him, hopefully. And then I hear that dad and that kid leave and he’s like get your little tail out of here. Right now I’ll kill you. 

 

0:05:30 – Kayla

So I was, that was, I was so nervous, like I did and I was, because you were gone for a really long time and I’m like, okay, this is not normal, so there you go again. What did I say before we left? You are a magnet for crazy. And here we are. Thank you, don invite it, it found you. 

 

0:05:55 – Brian

Looking at the calendar, how far are we into the year? 

 

0:05:58 – Kayla

This is crazy. We are nearly halfway through 2024. That’s unbelievable Flying yeah. 

 

0:06:07 – Brian

Just flying. 

 

0:06:08 – Kayla

What lessons are we carrying into the second half of the year? 

 

0:06:13 – Brian

Well, I’ll start this off and say this I’m going to own who I am. I’m going to own that I’m healing. I’ve had multiple, multiple people come up to me, friends, and say B you are healing. Yeah, said, you are a healthier version of yourself. So I don’t want to stop working on me. I want to keep working on me. I want to continue to be, but it doesn’t mean I’ll ever be perfect, and I have this tremendous pressure on myself to be perfect and not drive people up a wall. But I’ve got to give myself space. 

 

0:06:46 – Kayla

Which is a segue into. One of the things that I’m really learning this year is progress over perfection. I’m realizing that I can be bad at things, and it’s OK, because I’m trying and I’m also realizing I may not be where I want to be. There are some very specific goals I set for myself this year and I’m not there yet. But I’m doing the work, and very few, if any, successes happen overnight. It’s always a work in progress. 

 

0:07:21 – Brian

And I’ll build on that by saying that for me, there’s still work to be done. In other words, there’s weight that needs to be lost by me. I think I gained a couple of pounds at Disney I don’t know how. I did not eat a lot of desserts. 

 

0:07:37 – Kayla

I’d say it’s fluid retention. It was 100 degrees. 

 

0:07:43 – Brian

I wish I could pee off 100 pounds in. Okay, there’s habits I need to break. I don’t need to assume that every time somebody’s in a bad mood it’s about me and quit asking people so much, are you okay? I don’t know if that drives people up a wall, but there’s just things. There’s still work to be done. I’m nervous of ever thinking that I’ve arrived, so I need to just own that. 

 

0:08:08 – Kayla

This one’s hard to admit, but I’m going to because hopefully it will help someone else. I am not responsible for how other people act and I need to unpack that. I am accountable for how I act and react towards others. And here’s the truth, mom. Sometimes perfectionism masks itself in criticisms. I read that a few weeks back and I have been sitting with that truth, so I’m going to say that again. Sometimes perfectionism masks itself in criticisms. I internalize that other people’s behavior could be my responsibility or it reflects poorly on me, and that’s the part that I’m working on. The critic comes out when their actions don’t align with what I feel is best, and I’m working really hard to let other people be other people and that I don’t have to own it and I don’t have to explain it. I can just be who I am. 

 

0:09:18 – Brian

And for you that’s a big deal. 

 

0:09:20 – Kayla

Oh yeah, because I always fear that people are judging me for someone else’s behavior. 

 

0:09:27 – Brian

See, we’re kind of opposites in that. 

 

0:09:30 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:09:30 – Brian

But I’m proud of you for seeing that though. 

 

0:09:33 – Kayla

Again, it’s a work in progress, but I’m finding myself being a whole lot less critical because I realize my criticism is tied to my own perception. 

 

0:09:45 – Brian

For me, it’s okay to be different, and sometimes I will withdraw from a group. 

 

0:09:51 – Kayla

And this is part of your healing, and I am so here for it. 

 

0:09:57 – Brian

I like to read, I like Star Wars, I like Disney. I don’t like working on cars. I don’t like going to certain sporting events. 

 

0:10:09 – Kayla

Yeah, and it’s okay. 

 

0:10:10 – Brian

And that’s okay. It doesn’t make me less of a person. It doesn’t make me less of a man. Yeah, it just says that I enjoy these things more. But I will retreat in certain groups because I feel like I’m less than that. I’m not part of that because I don’t enjoy NASCAR. I don’t get it. You’re just going in a circle over and over again. I don’t understand it. And so when I get in certain groups of people, I will usually just withdraw and go the corner because I feel different. But I need to accept that. It’s okay if these people like one thing and I like something else. Now I may need to go find some people to talk to, but there you go. 

 

0:11:00 – Kayla

A big goal of mine this year has been be someone who leaves people better than I found them, I think. For some reason, this year more than any other, I have seen that there are so many people who are carrying some really heavy stuff I mean hard things and they may choose to keep that private. So as we encounter people in our day-to-day, maybe they hit us wrong with their attitude or the way they’re carrying themselves. We may not know what they are carrying. And the reminder for me in a thousand ways this year has been it takes so little effort to be genuinely kind and grateful and present and patient with other people, because really isn’t that what I want? 

 

0:11:57 – Brian

For me, another big goal is to pursue Jesus faithfully and to know him and not just know about him. What I’m learning it’s taken me years to learn this and I still got a long way to go is not to pursue a feeling. We think sometimes that when we chase after Jesus, it’s going to produce a certain feeling, and it doesn’t when you follow after him. 

 

0:12:24 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:12:25 – Brian

You’re not pursuing a feeling, you’re pursuing a relationship with him, and so every day I will do some devos and I will pray, and I’m OK if there’s not a certain feeling, because I have to remember the truth that he’s still God, even if I don’t feel him, that he’s still faithful in reading and praying, meditating and just trying to live out. 

 

0:13:06 – Kayla

Well, what was that? There was a quote I read one time even the teacher is silent during the test. 

 

0:13:13 – Brian

Well, I ain’t ready for a test, so let’s not invite that. But yes, so that’s who he is. I like that. Yes, so that’s who he is. 

 

0:13:20 – Kayla

Speaking of silence, I’ve grown very comfortable with silence, and that’s odd as I’m sitting here doing a podcast. But what I mean by that is not everyone has a right to know all things about your life things about your life. We owe ourselves the right to keep certain aspects of our lives private and not feel the need to explain everything to others. Here’s another truth bomb. 

 

Some part of me feels like I’m being rude or unkind if I don’t present myself as an open book. And yet there are those who need to know details, and they probably shouldn’t, because you have to decide for yourself who your circle is, who your safe people are, and then everyone else just gets to be on the fringe. And that doesn’t mean you don’t care about them, but what it does mean is you care about protecting yourself, mean, is you care about protecting yourself? And there has been this comfortable silence within me this year that there are some things in our lives even that have transpired in the last 12 to 15 months. I’m not going to defend us, I’m not going to explain it. I’m okay with those who know no, and those who don’t won’t, and so it’s just. It’s part of my growth journey. We have a bonus one. 

 

0:14:48 – Brian

Okay. 

 

0:14:48 – Kayla

This one we have both been reminded of in the last six months. 

 

0:14:55 – Brian

I think grief is a marathon. Yeah, it’s not a sprint. Yeah, yeah, grief is a journey. It’s a long journey that you’re on and it will reveal itself at various times. I remember we were at Disney World during Father’s Day and there were moments I just wanted to cry because you see, you look around, you see all these dads walking around with their kids and I’m like, you know, I wish dad was here, I could call him or something, that kind of stuff. And then sometimes you grieve what you don’t have and we’re not going to get into that, but like because we were never able to have children, I was grieving watching that. 

 

0:15:36 – Kayla

And so. And yet that afternoon God gave us the sweetest moment. 

 

0:15:42 – Brian

Oh, that little girl. 

 

0:15:44 – Kayla

There was a little girl. We were in the Frozen Ever After sing-along and watching her when Elsa came on stage. She was, it was magic it was absolute magic seeing the look on her face and the way she we both cried. 

 

We did cry because it was just, it was literally seeing Disney through the eyes of a child and I know God gave us that on Father’s Day. It was not lost on me and it was absolutely beautiful. But yeah, grief is. It’s not linear. It has its ups and downs. It has its days where it will just absolutely blindside you and yet what we are learning is to be kind to ourselves and to others on those days when we realize that we’re dealing with grief. 

 

0:16:30 – Brian

Yeah, I don’t think you ever get over grief. I just think that you build a new life around it. You do. 

 

0:16:35 – Kayla

That’s what happens. 

 

0:16:36 – Brian

Yeah. 

 

0:16:37 – Kayla

So yeah. 

 

0:16:37 – Brian

Those are the things that we’re trying to continue to learn halfway through the year. 

 

0:16:42 – Kayla

Yeah, so let’s talk about Florida. It was hot, we’ve said that already. 

 

0:16:51 – Brian

Okay. 

 

0:16:51 – Kayla

But there are some questions that we get from time to time. Why do we continue to go to Disney when we could go see the world? We could spoiler. We were going to Italy this summer and then we saw the events that were taking place in the world. We thought about the time of year that we were looking to travel and we both agreed unanimously let’s just go back to Disney. Why Disney? Well, for us it’s the ease of travel. 

 

0:17:21 – Brian

We get to hop on a plane when you get to the Orlando airport. There’s a bus that takes you from the airport right to the doors of your resort. It’s all inclusive. There are restaurants everywhere, there are attractions, there are shows, there are rides, there are various foods. You can experience various. 

 

0:17:41 – Kayla

We can take a, we can take a boat or we can walk to two of our resorts. There’s just, I mean there’s, or parks, I should say. 

 

0:17:50 – Brian

People say don’t you get tired of experiencing the same thing over and over again? No, because there’s always something a little bit different that’s happening there. Yeah, and you get to see the magic. You get to see everything there. So why do we love Disney? Well, first of all, you love which park. 

 

0:18:07 – Kayla

I love Epcot. 

 

0:18:08 – Brian

Yes. 

 

0:18:09 – Kayla

It has rides, it has World Showcase. It’s walking distance from our resort you love. 

 

0:18:16 – Brian

Hollywood Studios. 

 

0:18:18 – Kayla

Because it’s all things star wars yes, and actually we have.

 

0:18:23 – Brian

There’s like a little boat you can catch from our resort. Yeah, that’ll take us right to the gate we’re there in 10 minutes. Yeah, yeah and it’s crazy. So unpopular opinion we don’t love magic kingdom and we also don’t really. 

 

0:18:38 – Kayla

We love Animal Kingdom in the fall when it’s not as hot, but we actually skipped Animal Kingdom this time because it was just too hot. 

 

0:18:47 – Brian

Too hot and also you will walk more at Animal Kingdom than any other park. Yeah, there’s basically two things that we enjoy to do at Animal Kingdom. That’s the safari. And there’s a little show the Lion King show that we go to. Those are basically the two things that we enjoy to do at Animal Kingdom. That’s the safari and there’s a little show the Lion King show that we go to. Those are basically the two things. 

 

0:19:02 – Kayla

And we do like going through the like. There’s the whole area where the monkeys and all that are, but yeah, and I enjoy that. 

 

0:19:12 – Brian

Admittedly, you can hear me cough in the background. I’m actually cutting down the microphone, so just realize. So everybody listening. A little side note there, just a little side note I am cutting down the microphone, but we do have drainage. 

 

0:19:22 – Kayla

So, admittedly, we will resume March and Thanksgiving or Christmas trips because summers in Florida are a thing we learned. Summer is the off season. That was an enlightening because it’s so hot and because it’s outside of the window of like Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas. And it’s humid, so if you’re looking to deal with less crowds and the heat does not phase you, then go in the summer. 

 

0:19:52 – Brian

Because we were able to flex so much, so much stuff. 

 

0:19:55 – Kayla

I mean, there were days we decided, okay, we want to change to this restaurant or we want to hop on this ride, and we were able to do that. We won’t be able to do that at Christmas, and we know that, and that’s okay, we’ll just. You either have to plan and work your plan or, if you go in the summer, you can definitely be a little more flexible. 

 

0:20:24 – Brian

We also have one of my very best friends lives down there. His name is Stan. 

 

0:20:27 – Kayla

We do and we spent five days with him for five days, and got to see Stan Jose and Eric and spend some time and that was fun you love also. 

 

I just love all things Florida the palm trees, the water, the people because in each park there are people from different countries and so you’re getting to visit with these people and you get to hear their story. I mean, we got to talk with several cast members this time and ask them what are you enjoying about America and what are you looking forward to? And what’s funny is half of them were looking forward to going to Vegas. But here we are, so it was very strange. 

 

It’s like it’s one of them told us it’s the go-to place for Florida right now. 

 

0:21:07 – Brian

So it must be a cheap flight. 

 

0:21:09 – Kayla

I guess. So there were a couple of things that I mean. Yes, it was amazing. We will share a couple of more epic moments and then we’ll just share some hard truths. There was a day that was very, very sweet for me and I have been married to you for nearly 31 years and Stan has been a dear friend of ours for 31 years. I did not know you were terrified of heights, both of you and there’s a ride called Soarin’ where you are literally strapped in with basically like a car seat belt. 

 

0:21:44 – Brian

And it raises you up off the ground. 

 

0:21:46 – Kayla

You go off the ground, you’re dangling by your feet. 

 

0:21:48 – Brian

See, now, that’s what bothers me. 

 

0:21:50 – Kayla

And then you’re in this immersive experience where you’re kind of dipping and swaying. 

 

0:21:54 – Brian

And it takes you up over the Eiffel Tower. You go over the Eiffel Tower. 

 

0:21:56 – Kayla

You come down into this pasture where there’s like a stampede coming at you, but you smell the grass, you smell the dirt, you go over the Taj Mahal and you smell like flowers. 

 

0:22:09 – Brian

I will do anything for my bride. 

 

0:22:11 – Kayla

Both of you did the entire ride with your eyes closed. 

 

0:22:16 – Brian

Yes, and I was gripping so hard. When I came off, I actually had bruises in my hand. 

 

0:22:20 – Kayla

You did, and then you noticed and I felt terrible and you noticed that I was walking. You were both shaking. 

 

0:22:26 – Brian

Yeah. 

 

0:22:26 – Kayla

And I just could not get over. I looked at both of you and said why did you do this? And your response was because you like it. That’s exactly right, and it really touched me, but we did not do it again. So, there was an evening you had booked something special for me it was our last evening of vacation. 

 

0:22:46 – Brian

Dinner at Epcot at a British restaurant called the Rose and Crown. Yeah, it’s the dinner and fireworks package, and we are so close to the fireworks, the ash was coming back on our table fell down on us but you smiled like a little girl for an hour and a half. 

 

0:23:05 – Kayla

You loved everything about it I did yeah, because it’s at a pub, just yeah you’re outside and it’s wonderful so the rooms at Disney. We have a pro tip for you when you are still your air conditioning, or if you’re in the winter, your heat will turn off because it’s motion centered. Yes, the thermostat so what is the trick that someone taught you? Buy a balloon and tape it, just sit it in front of your. 

 

0:23:35 – Brian

Yeah, tape it to the wall and put it in front of your. Yeah, tape it to the wall and put it in front of the of the motion sensor so that that balloon will move during the night. Yeah, and it will keep the air conditioner running. And so we didn’t know that, and or I forgot about it and I woke up two or three times a couple of times yeah, it’s ridiculous you have one main complaint against Disney. 

 

As much as you pay, as much as you pay Y’all could do a little bit better than this. 

 

0:24:10 – Kayla

One ply see-through toilet paper y’all got going on at Disney. 

 

0:24:11 – Brian

They are kind of lacking in that department it is John Wayne. You don’t take crap off nobody. Okay, it is. I didn’t expect to hear that. I mean you need a expect to hear that. I mean you need a powder puff after about day four. 

 

0:24:23 – Kayla

Okay, Lord forgive me. We were in line waiting for a ride and there was a family in front of us, and there was a family in front of them. Well, the family in front of them. 

 

She felt the need to insert her opinion unwarranted to the family behind her and telling her well, you must do this and you must do that and book this book that plan your day like this. Listen, you must do that and book this book that plan your day like this. And there was a moment where she finally turned around facing her own family again and the family looked back at us like help and I whispered it’s your trip. 

 

0:25:02 – Brian

Do whatever you want to do. Do whatever you want to do. 

 

0:25:05 – Kayla

Nobody else gets to decide for you what your vacation should look like, and you and I both the ease with which we travel together. I just love it. Because I’ll say this if you want to grasp your own selfishness, go into any vacation or trip with your own itinerary that is so like locked down and fixed, and refuse to flex for anyone else. 

 

0:25:34 – Brian

It’ll get blown up. 

 

0:25:35 – Kayla

It will absolutely ruin your trip. Yeah and so. Yeah, those are just our takeaways. We cannot wait for our next trip at the end of the year. We’re kind of grieving being home, but it’s OK. We have a lot of life to live between now and December. Would you like to admit what you did this morning. You actually what? 

 

0:25:57 – Brian

Well checked on flight so we could fly down there over July 4th. We got a few days off and I said no because it’s hot. 

 

0:26:04 – Kayla

I reminded you of how hot it is. We’ll be back in December. Very sad, reminded you of how hot it is. So, yeah, we’ll be back in December. Okay, but very sad. So we have a question for you. Um, for the first few people that go to our website and answer this question correctly, there’s a whole slew of stuff coming your way you’re gonna win some stickers, a notepad, a peas and carrots pen and a peas and carrots mug. 

 

0:26:26 – Brian

so you get peas and carrots stickers, peas and carrots pen and a peas and carrots mug. So you get peas and carrots stickers, peas and carrots notepad, a pen and a peas and carrots mug Y’all I thought the stickers were cute. 

 

0:26:35 – Kayla

The notepad has become my bestie. It’s a what do you call it? Peel and stick sheet, Post-it note, Post-it note pad, and it’s got like you can well, you know what I’m talking about Peel and stick, Well you know what I’m talking about. Peel and stick. 

 

0:26:49 – Brian

Listen, I’m a little, my brain’s still hot, so anyway, you can win all that stuff when you answer this question. 

 

0:26:55 – Kayla

What is one travel tip that you would share? Okay, so how do you win that? Go to our website. Go ahead, click the trivia button and what’s our website? 

 

0:27:08 – Brian

Peasandcarrotspodcast.com. That’s peasandcarrotspodcast.com. When you get there, you just click that little trivia button and answer this question. 

 

0:27:17 – Kayla

What is one travel tip you would? 

 

0:27:20 – Brian

share. Hey, thanks for listening to this week’s edition of the Peas and Carrots Podcast and hey, you can search the Peas and Carrots Podcast wherever you get your podcast or you visit our website. 

 

0:27:30 – Kayla

Peasandcarrotspodcast.com. When you do, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast. 

 

0:27:35 – Brian

Also, if you could follow us on Facebook and Instagram and you could help us tell a few friends, we’d appreciate that. All you got to do is just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast. I want to go back to Disney.

 

0:27:44 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Growing through the challenges we face and finding hope along the way. That’s the Jesus Fix It Podcast with Jess. Check out jesusfixit.com or search Jesus Fix It wherever you listen to podcasts.

 

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Season 3, Episode 20: Here’s Your Sign

Can We Talk?
Here's Your Sign - Episode Description

Have you ever wondered why some people seem to come with their own set of caution labels? This week on the Peas and Carrots Podcast, we gear up for our much-anticipated vacation, sharing our quirky tradition of collecting crazy travel stories. Brian’s confessed addiction to Mexican food sparks a hilarious debate on the frequency and health implications of indulging in fajitas and chips. We also get nostalgic about the joy and immediate gratification of in-person shopping, lamenting the frustrations of the online retail world. To keep things interesting, we promise to return with some entertaining tales from our upcoming adventures.

Switching gears, we delve into the complexities of dealing with toxic individuals who should come with warning signs. From know-it-alls and drama magnets to the challenges of navigating political debates on social media, we share personal anecdotes and reflect on the importance of patience and self-preservation. We touch on the discomfort of family arguments and the draining nature of energy vampires while emphasizing the need for self-awareness and grace in our interactions. Wrapping up, we discuss the importance of embracing imperfections and finding laughter, inspired by a cherished father figure who taught us to stay grounded. Tune in for relatable discussions and plenty of laughs!

Here's Your Sign - Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 

 

0:00:11 – Kayla

Welcome to the peas and carrots podcast. I’m Brian and I’m Kayla. 

 

0:00:16 – Brian

Here we are, here we are. You are so excited. She is bouncing off the walls. Yeah, her smile is from ear to ear. Her eyes are even smiling. 

 

0:00:27 – Kayla

This is my last official. 

 

0:00:29 – Brian

Full day. 

 

0:00:31 – Kayla

Well, I was going to say project oh, on my task list. 

 

0:00:35 – Brian

Oh. 

 

0:00:36 – Kayla

Before vacation. I mean, it is our last official full day before vacation, but yeah, so spoiler, we are recording ahead yes but yeah, we’re getting ready to leave in a few days on vacation but flying out of here, so we will have stories. You are a crazy magnet, so if anything crazy is going to happen, you attract it, so stay. That’s hurtful. It’s truthful, okay. Well, there’s just gravity. Tell me someone who would say that’s wrong. B you come back with the best stories from vacations. 

 

0:01:14 – Brian

I think I have, because I’m such a large body, I have gravity and it attracts people to me, so I think that’s what’s going on. I need to make a confession. 

 

0:01:26 – Kayla

Okay. 

 

0:01:26 – Brian

Okay, and this is a big deal for me. I want everybody, okay, to sit down. Okay, I’m addicted to Mexican food. Okay, you thought? 

 

0:01:38 – Kayla

I was going to do something. I wasn’t sure where we were going there, fajitas, and how is that a problem I’m trying to understand. 

 

0:01:46 – Brian

Enchiladas. What is that thing we get when we go Fajitas? 

 

0:01:49 – Kayla

We do fajitas for two Chicken. 

 

0:01:53 – Brian

But I could eat. How often per week could you eat Mexican food? 

 

0:01:57 – Kayla

Oh, probably three times a week, but it’s not the greatest for us, I mean, if we skip the chips, and Well, where’s the fun in that? That’s what I was going to say. 

 

0:02:08 – Brian

I read the other day if you eat four baskets of chips, or you eat two baskets of chips, it’s like eating 30 tortillas, holy cow. I don’t know if that’s accurate or not. 

 

0:02:18 – Kayla

Well, aren’t they fried tortillas? Isn’t that what the chips are? 

 

0:02:22 – Brian

Maybe, but I think so. Yeah, no, but it ain’t 30 of them. I don’t think so, anyway, so anyway. Is anybody else addicted to like the Mexican food? 

 

0:02:37 – Kayla

I think most of America Okay. 

 

0:02:39 – Brian

Yeah. 

 

0:02:40 – Kayla

So you’ve had an interesting experience lately. We needed some parts for our grill and we needed some parts for some other things around the house. You are running into one. It’s the same issue over and over. You cannot get the part and you’re having to order it. 

 

0:02:58 – Brian

I’m having to order, and what? 

 

0:03:00 – Kayla

did you declare that you would like to be able to do? 

 

0:03:02 – Brian

To go back in the store and buy things To find what you need in the store. I’m tired of waiting five, six, seven, ten days. 

 

0:03:13 – Kayla

And then it gets lost in the mail and it gets lost in the mail. 

 

0:03:19 – Brian

I have to contact the people who sold it and I’ve heard that from a few friends and I’m wondering if in a few years now this might take a few years, not going to happen overnight if there might slowly be a desire for a return to like in-person retail. 

 

0:03:33 – Kayla

I actually read not long ago that retailers are making clear their demands that they want to go back to store. 

 

0:03:42 – Brian

Really Mm-hmm. You mean shoppers have made that clear that they want to go back to the store. Yeah, well, I would do that. I would like that, because now I do like the option to see before I go to the store if they have what I’m looking for. 

 

0:03:58 – Kayla

Yeah, but what I’m saying is the retailers are finding out that consumers are they’re you. They are disgruntled with the online experience. They want to be able to go in the store, to have it immediately, to have more options, to experience the whole experience again, not just sitting at their keyboard and ordering something and hoping it works. It was almost like it was a revelation to those that run the stores. 

 

0:04:30 – Brian

We’ve got to rethink our inventory and our and a lot of times our stuff will go through like North Carolina. 

 

0:04:37 – Kayla

Oh, we’ll go with God. 

 

0:04:39 – Brian

And if it goes through a certain place North Carolina, it’ll sit there for five days. 

 

0:04:42 – Kayla

It’ll sit there for five days. 

 

0:04:44 – Brian

I could drive down there and get that package and have it back by the time that they do. I’m not kidding, I mean, this is grumpy old man venting here, so you feel better Well. 

 

0:04:55 – Kayla

I want them to fix it Anyway stay tuned, some great stories coming soon. 

 

0:05:03 – Brian

Caution signs. You ever what does that mean? You ever been driving along the road and it says caution ahead. And then, and then you drive, you drive and there’s a few things there that you know it could be a wreck. It could be that they’re doing world road work, World road work, Spit it out. So there you go. So have you ever encountered someone that should have come with a caution sign? 

 

0:05:34 – Kayla

Oh ouch. 

 

0:05:36 – Brian

I wish people came with like warning labels, you know. 

 

0:05:40 – Kayla

I feel like some days maybe I need one. No, I mean, there are moments, but what do you mean by this? 

 

0:05:49 – Brian

give me an example people who are never wrong. Oh okay, yeah, now I need to say something here. 30 years ago, Brian Sanders was not wrong about anything life has a way of knocking that out of you doesn’t it? 

 

I mean, I would argue like theology, I’d argue with, I mean, the finest points of it Today, oh, we agree on, like the Apostles’ Creed and the gospel. You’re good to go, bro, move along. People want to sit, you know, we believe in like infant baptism, because we are Presbyterian, yeah, and then we have other friends who don’t. 

 

0:06:29 – Kayla

They believe in immersion and we have no issue with that. 

 

0:06:31 – Brian

I have no issue with that, but they’re like well, you’re sinning when you do that. Now listen, look of all the sins I could commit. If that’s a sin, I’m going to be OK. 

 

0:06:42 – Kayla

So I’ve got one. Be okay, so I’ve got one. Those who refuse to listen to other people’s viewpoints about anything, not just religion. But they have fixed their mind and they are not even willing to give audience to someone else’s point of view. 

 

0:06:58 – Brian

That’s why I am so nervous about being on social media as we enter this political season, because there’s going to be so much back and forth and people not listening to each other. 

 

0:07:08 – Kayla

So a normal day on Facebook, a normal day, just a normal. 

 

0:07:13 – Brian

I remember one time I mean speaking of this people refuse to listen to other people’s viewpoints. We were at one of our favorite restaurants about three or four years ago during the first election and you remember that family. They were sitting there and they had a knockdown drag out. 

 

0:07:28 – Kayla

I do remember that Yelling at each other. Yeah, it was very uncomfortable. 

 

0:07:32 – Brian

And they wouldn’t listen to each other’s viewpoints. Yeah, you don’t have to agree to somebody, but you don’t have to be a jerk about it, but show respect, just hear someone out. 

 

0:07:41 – Kayla

It doesn’t mean that you have to buy into everything that they’re saying. 

 

0:07:46 – Brian

But yeah, 100%, 100%. Here’s another one People who think that they’ve learned all there is to learn. There’s a famous quote I love that says be the dumbest person in the room and if you’re not, go find a new room. 

 

0:08:02 – Kayla

I read a book recently and it’s by Shauna Niequist and I think I actually referenced it here. It’s called I Guess I Haven’t Learned that Yet and it was a great book, and it just reminded me that we are all a work in progress. We’re all realizing things about the world around us, about each other, about ourselves. All realizing things about the world around us, about each other, about ourselves, and hopefully it helps us to change and grow in the areas that we need to change and grow. But those people scare me. Yeah, I’ve got another one. This one, you know me. This one is like high on the list for me Drama magnets. 

 

I am not a fan of drama. If it’s a legit like house on fire situation, I’m here for it, I’ll be there. 

 

0:08:51 – Brian

But if it’s like everything in your life is constantly chaotic and Let me say this there are people who think they have to create drama in order to get attention. 

 

0:09:01 – Kayla

Yes. 

 

0:09:02 – Brian

That drives me up a wall. Now let me say this I still try to be patient. Yeah, I’m not perfect. 

 

0:09:08 – Kayla

But I find something in my brain just flipping off from the situation. I just find myself just You’re flipping off your brain. 

 

0:09:15 – Brian

You’re not flipping off the people. 

 

0:09:17 – Kayla

Yes, okay. Because you were one word away there from Maybe we’ll say switching off. 

 

0:09:25 – Brian

Sorry. 

 

0:09:25 – Kayla

Yeah, behave. I kind of zone out, I just I get to the point where I think it’s a self-preservation thing that I just switch off. Better choice of words, sorry, and I can’t deal now because I want to. I want to absorb what’s going on, I want to fix what’s, and I just can’t always do that. It’s too heavy. 

 

0:09:50 – Brian

I want to I want to fix what’s happening, yeah, and resolve it, move on, yeah. And let me say this we’re not saying that like we’re perfect. 

 

0:09:59 – Kayla

We’re far oh, we’re coming to that, okay, we have. 

 

0:10:01 – Brian

Oh, we are. Yeah, I was just trying to do that one blank. I didn’t know it was going to get all detailed. Now we’re going to keyboard warriors, drive me up a wall. 

 

0:10:10 – Kayla

We’ve experienced some of those experience. 

 

0:10:13 – Brian

Uh, when I wrote my first book, leadership endurance, we met with a market each agency who actually walked us through this and said you need to be prepared, there’s going to be keyboard warriors. And I thought it’s a book about leadership, it’s Lincoln and FDR and Grant and yet Churchill, there’s not going to be anybody man. A lot of people got upset with me because I included FDR, I included Lincoln. I mean, people hate Lincoln, people hate FDR. Really, these people are dead. Yeah, they saved the nation and I’m just like wow. 

 

0:10:48 – Kayla

So I will actually share at this moment why I shut down my Facebook page. You know this Very few people know this. When you became an author and your book came out, I got some really nasty private messages, and you know that. Yeah, I got some really nasty private messages and you know that I got accused of being a joke of a wife that if I really loved you, I would take better care of you, I would cook healthy meals, I would make sure that you had a support system in place so that you would not be the size you were. I was accused of either oversharing about the book or undersharing about the book. It’s like I could never find the right balance to please people and I just got to the place where it was not what was happening in the day to day, believe it or not. I could kind of step over all the political banter and all the other stuff. It was the toxic private message and I realized I’m not here for this. I didn’t sign on for this and so I shut down. 

 

0:11:54 – Brian

Facebook. Do you miss it? I? 

 

0:11:55 – Kayla

don’t, I don’t even think about it, I really don’t. So, yeah, which lends to another one for me, someone who is often I’m going to throw in that key word often rude or ill-mannered, because there are days when we all have an off day and we may come across as-, but some people have them every single day. But if you’re constantly incapable of saying please and thank you, you or you’re not able to show kindness and general respect to someone else, if it’s just your nature to be just obnoxious, yeah yeah. 

 

0:12:37 – Brian

It, just it actually helped me with this. Now, I’m not trying to be rude, but like we’ll be somewhere and I’ll ask for like a refill of like a Coke Zero and it’s my grandmother coming out, that’s fine. But I try to say it kindly. 

 

0:12:52 – Kayla

You always say it kindly. 

 

0:12:53 – Brian

But as they walk away, you say say please, say please. And so I do, and so you would always. 

 

0:13:00 – Kayla

I was so proud of your tone and again, tone matters a lot. But you would say, could I have a refill or could I trouble you for? But I’m like say please, because my grandmother, she has refused meals to people before for a lack of please and thank you and tone’s a topic we could, we could, we could spend a whole other subject. 

 

0:13:22 – Brian

You do that, and then my executive assistant, Adam Read. I’ll be in meetings. 

 

0:13:27 – Kayla

What will he tell you to do? 

 

0:13:29 – Brian

I’ll be in a meeting for like 20, 30 minutes with a group of people and he’ll send me a text. It’ll have one word. You know what that word is, don’t you? 

 

0:13:36 – Kayla

Smile. 

 

0:13:37 – Brian

Smile, because you get so serious looking and I’m just, I mean, I don’t think I’m sitting there scowling at people, you know, but there you go. 

 

0:13:46 – Kayla

What’s another one for? 

 

0:13:47 – Brian

you Self-righteous people. Oh this is a big one for you. Huge Brian Sanders is who he is, at Walmart, Target and at church. If I’m flawed at Walmart and Target, I’m going to be flawed at church. If I say something inappropriate at Walmart and church, I’m going to say something inappropriate at church. That’s why I don’t want to be different people. I want to be the same person everywhere I go. I want to be authentic and I can’t stand plastic Christianity. 

 

I can’t stand plastic. Christianity Can’t stand fakeness. And again, I’ve got my own sides to it. I mean there are parts of me like when I have to put on my best face and have to smile, and like when I’m done with. There’s times when I’m done like, okay, I’m done with this, can we move this along? No, so I got to say I mean there’s sides to me that I still have to work on. But I think that self-righteousness does more harm to the kingdom than it does grow it. 

 

0:14:51 – Kayla

This is a huge caution sign for me, and you know this Someone who’s projecting their elitism, superiority or status on someone else. Something my daddy taught us from knee high is do not forget your roots, and what he meant by that was no matter how big your britches get, do not forget where you came from. 

 

And I am so challenged to engage people when they are just giving off this air of, well, I have more money, or I have more social status, or I’m more educated, or the list goes on. I’m not comfortable in environments where someone likes to project their status is better than everyone else. 

 

0:15:47 – Brian

Folks who are a wet blanket get on my nerves, like you. 

 

0:15:50 – Kayla

It wears you down, yours, and because I can’t. 

 

0:15:54 – Brian

I have to have some positivity. 

 

0:15:56 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:15:56 – Brian

I need somebody who’s a little bit happy. Now let me say this I don’t want to be around Tigger all day, but I wouldn’t mind a little time when we poo bit happy. Now let me say this I don’t want to be around Tigger all day either, but I wouldn’t mind a little time of ween, poo and rabbit. Okay, but Al drives me up the wall. We talked about that last week, but Eeyore. 

 

0:16:10 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:16:11 – Brian

Well, I’m going to go in the corner and die and I want to say you want to set an alarm clock? Oh, I, just that’s my imperfection coming out. Yeah, but I can’t. It just kills me, it just drives me up. 

 

0:16:27 – Kayla

No, I see that Well, it drains you. It’s like it sucks the life out of your battery. 

 

0:16:32 – Brian

Energy vampires. 

 

0:16:33 – Kayla

Yeah, I have one more and I have to give a shout out to our friend Tara. I asked her. I said if you were to come up with one of these, what would you say? And for her it was people who overshare. Get right up in your face and they just they tell you their whole life and you may know them for like 10 minutes. And they tell you, or they’re telling you intimate details of things. That it just makes it very uncomfortable. 

 

0:16:58 – Brian

When I was five, I actually burnt our house down. My parents still don’t know it to this day. Really, I don’t need to know that. I don’t need that kind of guilt on my conscience. Okay, please don’t tell me that. 

 

0:17:10 – Kayla

But let’s bring this back though, because it may sound like we are really ragging on some people. We are these people, so let’s just start here. 

 

0:17:20 – Brian

On any given day I can be prone to overshare and I and you can. You can say this I will get whenever we leave social functions, I’ll get in the truck and sometimes what’s? 

 

0:17:31 – Kayla

the first thing I say to you I said too much. 

 

0:17:32 – Brian

I said too much you. 

 

0:17:33 – Kayla

you are plagued by that. Oh, and we have actually learned a secret code with each other where there is a certain look that I will give you if I feel like you’ve hit that threshold. Not that one. 

 

0:17:45 – Brian

Not that look. 

 

0:17:46 – Kayla

This one is, I’m kind of reminding you OK, be kind of hit the brakes so that you feel comfortable when you leave that situation. There’s a couple of key truths we want to say, first one being this All of sin will fall short of the glory of God. None of us are perfect, no. 

 

0:18:03 – Brian

I mean, I’m loud, I’m boisterous, I can overshare, I can be judgmental of people. I may not argue with you in person, but I may get in. I’ll be honest. I can get in my truck and say Lord, have mercy, what an idiot. I’m just saying, I’m being real Maybe that’s too honest. 

 

0:18:32 – Kayla

But to that point we’re kind of in jest sharing these, because we all at some point wear these caution signs and let he who is without sin cast the first stone. And I mean there are days that I’m a number of these.

 

0:18:43 – Brian

I shouldn’t get in the truck and call somebody Well probably not, but because that lends to. I need to ask myself a question Am I mindful in the ways in which I need to be sanctified? Am I mindful of my weak areas, where Christ still needs to do a lot of work on me? Yeah, not just a little bit of work, but a lot of work. 

 

0:19:06 – Kayla

Here’s another question that I often ask myself Am I involved enough in this person’s life that perhaps I should speak some truth and love? Should I help them to see their caution signs? If I’m going to do that, Iron sharpens iron. Again, this is. There’s a key phrase Am I involved enough in this person’s life? And then the spirit has to speak into whether it’s mine to do this or not. 

 

0:19:33 – Brian

Now, unlike leadership issues with, like, those who report to me, yes, I will address certain issues. Yeah, personal issues. Yeah, personal issues. Yeah, there’s probably three, four people in the world. I feel like I am close enough to that I can address certain issues. 

 

0:19:52 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:19:53 – Brian

And one of them. I still want to be able to sleep in my own house. 

 

0:20:00 – Kayla

Fair enough. Oh, all right, then I’m guessing we’re having a conversation. 

 

0:20:08 – Brian

Because I don’t ever have to, because you are near perfect, oh, whatever. You’re like Mary Poppins. 

 

0:20:13 – Kayla

Oh. 

 

0:20:14 – Brian

Practically perfect in every way. 

 

0:20:15 – Kayla

Here’s another question I ask myself Am I comfortable with just embracing the flawed parts of other people? Because, back to my, I guess I haven’t learned that yet. We are all hopefully growing and changing. Life has a way of when you were talking about 30 years ago, you felt like you knew everything. We all go through seasons that really humble us, take the wind out of our sails, teach us a different perspective, hopefully mature us and are we willing to let God be God sometimes and let him be the one that reveals those caution signs? So, yeah, may we not leave you thinking that we’re sitting here, going well, we are perfect, and everyone else is going around with caution, because there are many, many days that when I’m doing my journaling at night, I’m realizing I’ve got a lot to repent for. 

 

0:21:15 – Brian

No, no, I think you’re am got a lot to repent for. No, no, I think you’re. Am I comfortable with embracing flawed parts of others? It’s according to oh gosh, it’s so. So y’all don’t think less of me. It’s according to what that flawed part is. That’s horrible of me to admit. It’s honest. If they’re a little rough around the edges, I’ll probably get along with them. If they’re mopey and you’re, I’m going to have to. I’m sorry. 

 

0:21:41 – Kayla

You’re going to find a way to remove yourself from that? 

 

0:21:43 – Brian

Yes, that’s awful, but at the same time I can’t be everything to everybody. I’m not Jesus and I don’t see how he does it. That’s a little too honest. Not who does it, that’s a little too honest. 

 

0:21:53 – Kayla

Not at all. Oversharing there it is right there, so anyway. But yeah. 

 

0:21:58 – Brian

There’s our hearts on a platter today. We getting Mexican food later. I didn’t know it was going to be all this kind of personal. Last week’s podcast you had me crying. Now I’m all guts out on the page, okay, so there you go. 

 

0:22:22 – Kayla

So laughter is good for the soul and we have had a few things to laugh at recently. I love to laugh, so our friends Adam and Ronda they are with our WCQR station yep, they did some face swap videos. I and I have not laughed that hard in a very long time they put faces on, that look like Shrek and that Shrek’s wife and then they swapped faces and it was like that software where you can it’s hilarious I mean my cheeks hurt from we may have to do this for our peace and care yeah, this is something you want to do, but we’ll see. 

 

So you were going one Saturday morning. You went to get breakfast for us and what did you see? 

 

0:23:02 – Brian

in our town I was driving back and this truck full of stuff in the bed of the truck also had a trailer in the bed of the truck. There’s these two huge. Now y’all. When I say huge, I mean 30-foot wide and 20-foot-long Frankenstein feet in the bed of the truck. 

 

And then in the trailer was like a 50-foot plastic snake, disassembled, five skeletons and what looked like a body wrapped up in a rug. Well, I took a picture of that and put it on our town Facebook page Everything Christiansburg and I said meanwhile in Christiansburg. That post went viral. There’s like 300 people. 

 

0:23:49 – Kayla

And didn’t the driver actually post, oh, so embarrassed. 

 

0:23:53 – Brian

The woman that it belonged to saw the post and commented that there were no bodies there were no bodies on the trailer oh, I wanted. 

 

0:24:04 – Kayla

We laughed so hard. 

 

0:24:06 – Brian

When I read her comment I wanted to crawl under the desk. 

 

0:24:10 – Kayla

We’ve also been able to laugh with friends lately. We’ve also been able to laugh with friends lately. We’ve been able to reminisce with some friends about their mom, who passed away several years ago, and stories about my grandma and there is some healing balm in being able to remember your people. 

 

If someone is grieving, share the story because it does something for their heart that you haven’t forgotten their person. And watching this family as we were sitting there sharing stories about their mom, you could tell that it just was really blessing them that their mom had not been forgotten. And so, yeah, do that. 

 

0:24:55 – Brian

It was during the pandemic and it was near the end of it. We had not gone back to restaurants yet, yeah, but we had agreed we were going to order takeout from a particular restaurant here in town that does ribs and that kind of stuff. 

 

0:25:07 – Kayla

Well, we had learned that they had some very serious protocols in place for picking up meals, how the food was handled, all this kind of stuff. So you decided to surprise me with dinner one night. 

 

0:25:20 – Brian

And you are sitting at the table. I will never forget this image as long as I live. You’re sitting at the table, in one hand you got a fork, in the other hand you got a knife. And I pull back and there’s ribs in there and you start dancing. That little fork and knife start going up and down and your little body starts going left to right and I said, baby, are you excited? And you said was I dancing? I said yes, and you said yes, I’m excited about this. 

 

0:25:48 – Kayla

So it’s become my thing now. So that I will do a little jig when I like a meal. 

 

0:25:52 – Brian

You said the first meal. In four months I haven’t had to cook little jig when I like a meal. 

 

0:25:56 – Kayla

You said the first meal in four months I haven’t had to cook. Yes, yes. 

 

0:26:01 – Brian

So yeah, you get tickled at me because now, if I’m excited about a meal, I will do this little jig as of this recording. I was in Lynchburg, Virginia, yesterday for some business meetings and two of my leaders were there. 

 

And you guys went to lunch together at a Mexican restaurant were there and you guys went to lunch together at a Mexican restaurant and the waiter asked us if we wanted the lunch portion or the regular portion or the dinner portion. And so Adam Reed, he always orders the smaller portion. So me and Doug just said regular because we thought that meant the dinner portion portion they bring out like a dog bowl of food. Let me just say this First of all they bring Adam Reed he got a chimichanga lunch. That chimichanga had to be three inches long and like a half inch wide. It was the most pitiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life. And then me and Doug we both got this steak over rice with cheese and it was like five bites. 

 

0:26:59 – Kayla

Is that why you were so hungry for dinner? 

 

0:27:01 – Brian

I was starving yesterday and so we all got done. We were done eating in, like you know, five minutes. And we’re sitting there and Adam Reed says why didn’t you order something else? You don’t like pigs? Oh, if I’m at a Mexican restaurant, I don’t you order something else. 

 

0:27:15 – Kayla

You don’t look like pigs. Oh, if I’m at a Mexican restaurant I don’t care, well bring it. 

 

0:27:20 – Brian

You’re going to be eating 40 fajitas later. 40, call them things 40. What do you call them Fajitas? Is that what it’s called? Tortillas, tortillas, tortillas 56 has been rough on me, so anyway. 

 

0:27:38 – Kayla

Hey, we’ve been having lots of winners. We are blown away, yes, and we are loving hearing from you. So, yes, we have a couple of new items. It is possible that you could receive a notepad, some pens, a mug, some cute little stickers, that’s the prize pack. That’s our prize pack. If you go to our website and answer our question correctly, you could win. 

 

0:28:02 – Brian

You’ll get a mug pen, notepad and a pack of stickers. This week’s question is oh, I’ve got to think of one. Okay, so you go to our website, peasandcarrotspodcast.com. When you get there, click the trivia question and this is this week’s question. 

 

0:28:21 – Kayla

What is your favorite restaurant of choice? 

 

0:28:25 – Brian

Oh, oh, that’s a good question. 

 

0:28:28 – Kayla

Why? Thank you, that’s good. So, yeah, go to peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Click the trivia button. Share with us what is your favorite restaurant of choice. You can give us that information and any other stories you’d like to share with us. If you’ve had a good laugh lately, share that with us Share it and we will send you a notepad, some stickers, a mug and some pens. 

 

0:28:52 – Brian

There you go. So yeah, hey, thanks for listening, and you can search the Peas and Carrots Podcast wherever you get your podcast or visit our website. 

 

0:29:02 – Kayla

Peasandcarrotspodcast.com. When you do, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast. 

 

0:29:05 – Brian

You can also follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast. 

 

0:29:10 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Life’s not perfect. That’s why God gave us friends like Melody and Candi. Check out QuirksBumpsandBruises.com, or search Quirks, Bumps, and Bruises wherever you listen to podcasts.

 

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Season 3, Episode 19: Empty Nesters

Can We Talk?
Empty Nesters - Episode Description

Kayla can barely hold back her excitement about hugging Winnie the Pooh during our upcoming Disney vacation, and Brian finds himself humorously torn about whether to use the resort gym amidst all the walking. As we share our daily routines, from Kayla’s involvement in a women’s summer study at church to Brian’s newfound joy in grilling on a spotless grill, the conversation takes a heartfelt turn. We candidly explore the emotional complexities of Father’s Day, especially when faced with infertility and the reality of being empty nesters. We reflect on how certain holidays can be particularly challenging without children in the family, making this a deeply personal and relatable discussion.

We delve into themes of faith and gratitude, sharing touching stories about our experiences with other “children” God has given us and their profound impact on our lives. Amid these emotional moments, we lighten the atmosphere by discussing our favorite fictional characters and books, debating the age-old question of reading the book before watching the movie, and sharing our thoughts on Disney parks. We also spill the beans on our fears, future plans for getting a dog, and foods we absolutely refuse to eat. This episode is a rollercoaster of emotions, filled with laughter, love, and unexpected insights that will keep you engaged from start to finish.

Empty Nesters - Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 

 

0:00:11 – Brian

Welcome to the peas and carrots podcast. Hi, I’m Kayla and I’m Brian. Welcome to this week’s edition of the vegetable patch. I’ll tell you y’all, let’s just start here. Why are you so excited? 

 

0:00:25 – Kayla

The countdown is on. Countdown four we are leaving for vacation in a few days. 

 

0:00:32 – Brian

She’s got her little hands out in front of her like a little girl and she’s swinging them back and forth. 

 

0:00:38 – Kayla

Yeah, it’s vacation time. 

 

0:00:41 – Brian

Now, who are you going to see? 

 

0:00:43 – Kayla

Winnie the Pooh, Tigger, Eeyore Piglet. 

 

0:00:49 – Brian

Mickey Minnie, you sound like an eight-year-old you going to hug Winnie the Pooh? Yes, absolutely. You going to hug Mickey Mouse, probably. 

 

0:01:00 – Kayla

Okay, I mean maybe not, I don’t know, Donald Duck, and I mean they’re all right, but you don’t like Donald, I do. 

 

0:01:10 – Brian

But you love Winnie. 

 

0:01:10 – Kayla

But I love Winnie the Pooh. Okay To me All right. But yeah, we are headed south for vacation. We are, and I’m so ready. 

 

0:01:20 – Brian

I talked to my friend who lives down there. He said to bring shorts. 

 

0:01:23 – Kayla

He says it’s hot yeah, it’s 98 degrees the day we land. 

 

0:01:26 – Brian

So a little bit toasty. Miss Sanders is outside of her comfort zone and God’s using you, I’ll say that because last night you started what. 

 

0:01:38 – Kayla

We started our women’s summer study at church and it was really sweet sitting in a room with about gosh, I don’t know probably 30 women who, seeing them huddled in groups talking about just life and their journey with Jesus, and it was pretty amazing. It took me a while to wind down. I’m a little tired today because it was after 11 o’clock before all the adrenaline left my body. 

 

0:02:07 – Brian

I was asleep by then. 

 

0:02:09 – Kayla

But I actually had to like people and talk, stand up in front of the group. 

 

0:02:14 – Brian

It didn’t kill me. So proud of you. Why? Thank you. God’s using you. 

 

0:02:21 – Kayla

You are a very, very happy man. 

 

0:02:23 – Brian

I am because I’m grilling again. You are a very, very happy man. I am because I’m grilling again. My beautiful bride this past weekend cleaned my grill for me. It really wasn’t bad. I would like to clean my grill, but this is a conversation. My standards of what is clean is different from other people’s standards and we’ll leave other people undefined at this time. Good choice, okay. Yeah, so miss sanders cleaned my grill for me. I did, and you’ve. 

 

0:02:53 – Kayla

I’ve planted all the flowers, and so the back deck is your little sanctuary. Oh, I love it you can sit out there I grilled us some steaks, grilled some chicken last night. 

 

0:03:03 – Brian

So it’s just chicken last night. I’m a happy, happy, happy boy. Summer is in full swing. 

 

0:03:09 – Kayla

I’m excited, so I may have floated an idea with you. Here we go, that while we were on vacation our Hang on Before we get this out. 

 

0:03:19 – Brian

The answer is no. The answer is no, but go ahead. The answer is maybe. The answer is no, our go ahead. 

 

0:03:24 – Kayla

Go ahead. The answer is maybe the answer is no, our resort has a really nice gym. 

 

0:03:30 – Brian

Okay, let’s stop here. Okay, how many miles a day are we going to be walking at Disney? A lot, seven to eight. I do not see the need to go. 

 

0:03:42 – Kayla

But we could do some of our strength training. 

 

0:03:43 – Brian

No, no, I just still haven’t recovered from the to go, but we could do some of our strength training no no. I just still haven’t recovered from the look on your face by about 12 noon or 1 o’clock we’ll be strength training dragging my tail from here to get a Dole Whip ice cream across the thing in Hollywood Studios. 

 

0:03:57 – Kayla

That’s my strength training, okay good to know, so it’s a maybe. 

 

0:04:02 – Brian

No, it’s not a maybe. I will stretch forth a hand and pray for you as you go to the gym, while I lay in bed. 

 

0:04:09 – Kayla

In all seriousness, though, what is the gym next to at our resort? What is right next door to the gym? Ice cream, an ice cream store? 

 

0:04:18 – Brian

I will walk by you with an ice cream I’ll wave at you. I’ll even watch you. It doesn’t, no, but if I’m walking eight miles a day, I am not going to the gym. Okay, in 98-degree weather. So maybe I’ll have sweat rolling in places I haven’t seen in three years. Bless America, so that’s a hard pass for me. Are you really going to go to the gym on vacation? Maybe, Maybe I don’t believe it. I do not believe it. Best laid plans y’all Best laid plans. 

 

0:04:59 – Kayla

Forever empty nesters. It’s a good this is a good topic, but a hard topic Again, being that this is coming up on Father’s Day and that is a complicated holiday for you. You had a wonderful dad. 

 

0:05:17 – Brian

I had a great dad I mean the best ever, even wrote a book about him called Be Like Dad, which you can find on Amazon, by the way. But this is a tough holiday for me, and we’ve talked about this before on this podcast. We’ve talked about infertility. We never were able to have children and we were in that time period where we didn’t adopt either. Okay, let’s just be honest. And now, being 56, don’t take this wrong I don’t want a kid in my house. I’m too old, I’m setting my ways and I’m cranky. I want to go to bed about eight, 30. Okay, I’m just because by the time that kid’s coming out of diapers, I’ll be going into them. So I just say it. But Father’s Day and Mother’s Day are hard days. 

 

0:06:07 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:06:08 – Brian

And sometimes Christmas Day can be hard. 

 

0:06:11 – Kayla

Yeah, Because you see all these pictures of families snuggled up on the sofa in their matching pajamas and they’re doing all these things together. 

 

0:06:22 – Brian

But as many of our friends, it’s just me and you, which is great, it’s wonderful. 

 

0:06:26 – Kayla

Yeah, we are a family. Yeah, but we were saying the other night, as it comes up on Father’s Day, there are so many of our friends entering the stage of life where they are becoming grandparents. We are reminded that life looks different for us. 

 

0:06:43 – Brian

Not bad, but different and we’re not asking you to feel sorry for us or something like that. No, we’re just sharing our struggle, how we’ve seen Christ be sufficient. Let me say it absolutely yeah. Let me say it like that yeah, there is no pity here. 

 

0:07:01 – Kayla

There is no woe is us, there is a may. We all remember each other’s situation, that our situation is also not the same as our single friends, and then our situation is not the same as those who would long to have an evening with a quiet home. So, yeah, it’s again. It’s different is not bad. It just means that we embrace a different reality. 

 

0:07:32 – Brian

Now. So let me just say this we’re never going to have a home that has grandkids squealing in it. 

 

0:07:38 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:07:39 – Brian

Their parents begging us not to spoil them. But I guarantee you we would. 

 

0:07:43 – Kayla

Oh, absolutely. 

 

0:07:44 – Brian

I mean, I’d take them to Target and whatever they pointed at, I’d buy it. 

 

0:07:47 – Kayla

Yep, I have no doubt. 

 

0:07:50 – Brian

But let me say this we also have a history. Whenever we lived in New Orleans 20 years ago, we mentored college, we mentored seminary students and every Thursday night there’d be 10, 15 students in our home. 

 

0:08:09 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:08:10 – Brian

And when we moved here to Virginia, we just continued that tradition. We brought college students in our home and there were Thursday nights when we were here in Virginia, where there’d be 20 students in our home.

 

0:08:24 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:08:24 – Brian

And many of them called us mom and dad. 

 

0:08:27 – Kayla

And that was a real privilege to get to do life with them. So a typical Thursday, and again this started in New Orleans with seminary students who were single, lonely. They were part of our church but they did not have a home outside of church. They were really struggling some of them. So we would have dinner together and then we would spend probably 30 to 45 minutes talking about something theologically related. 

 

0:08:56 – Brian

We’d have a Bible study. 

 

0:08:57 – Kayla

And then we watched Survivor. It was a tradition that everyone would kind of choose who they thought was going to win Survivor and we would watch that together and then, honestly, some Thursdays at like 11 o’clock, we would say, okay, you people have to go home, we have to go to bed. 

 

0:09:14 – Brian

And it was always a race to see who could be there first Thursday night because they’d bring their laundry. 

 

0:09:18 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:09:19 – Brian

And so they would always bring laundry. 

 

0:09:21 – Kayla

I’ve taught many a young man and young woman how to sort clothes. Well, I’m up for that lesson. So, yeah, no, you’re good you leave our laundry alone. 

 

0:09:31 – Brian

We also had a rule in New Orleans that Friday night was like date night. 

 

0:09:35 – Kayla

Yeah, our home was opened. Honestly, Thursday night was not the only night that they could visit, but Friday night was off limits. And I think we’ve shared this before. 

 

0:09:44 – Brian

We’ve shared this story before. How I jokingly said, Friday night’s off limits, I said now, if you show up at midnight, that’s okay, that’s Saturday, that is off limits. I said now, if you show up at midnight, that’s okay, that’s Saturday. 

 

0:09:56 – Kayla

I never thought anybody would show up at 12.01 am. 

 

0:09:57 – Brian

DR Randall shows up at our door. 

 

0:10:01 – Kayla

Are y’all awake? Yeah, son, what’s up? 

 

0:10:05 – Brian

Well, you said we could stop by after 12. Well, what am I going to do? Come on in. 

 

0:10:12 – Kayla

You’re going to watch a movie, and that’s what you did. I think I fell asleep, yeah, but he was happy. So, yes, we have had a bounty of a really rich life with students who not only have we had a chance to pour into them, they’ve poured into us, and we now have young men and women who have families of their own and we get to delight in seeing them going through different stages with their kids, and they are incredible parents and it’s been fun watching various ones of them get married and then have kids and settling down and buying their first home. 

 

The call that we get of. I mean, I’ve lost count of the number of young men in particular that have said hey, would you all meet us for dinner? It’s important that you meet my fiancé, or hey, there was one in particular. We were sworn to secrecy that there was going to be a proposal, but it was important to him that we meet her beforehand. So different is not always bad, but here’s the reality that we are in. They have all grown and flown, as parents would say, and genuinely as they should. They have their grown and flown, as parents would say, and and genuinely as they should. They have their families to go to when, when Christmas rolls around, when easter hits, when they go and spend time with their biological parents, and that is exactly how it should be. Now we have been surprised and delighted on many a holiday where we’ve gotten a text saying hey, we’re in town, Can we get together? Can we visit Now? 

 

0:12:02 – Brian

I need to be honest. I’m just going to be very vulnerable. It still hurts some Sure. After all these years it still stings that kids and grandkids that they never show up, that kids and grandkids that they never show up. So I’m trying to grow in this to be satisfied with him. 

 

0:12:19 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:12:20 – Brian

Because he is to be my portion. 

 

0:12:23 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:12:23 – Brian

I am to taste and see the Lord is good. I’m not to taste and see what I wish I had. I’m to taste and see that he is good. Yeah, so that’s what I’m trying to do. 

 

0:12:37 – Kayla

And I will admit as well that there are times that that familiar ache returns, never knowing what it’s going to feel like to carry another human, never getting to answer questions such as okay, whose eye color would he have? Whose personality would she emulate? How tall would he be? What would she be when she grows up? I mean, these are questions that we’ll never have an answer, and yet the Lord has been faithful to fill our lives beyond full, just not with children of our own. And yet I also, at this stage in my life, I see friends of ours who they have raised children and then, for various reasons, their children have kind of gone their own way and so pouring out as a parent for 20 plus years, and then your child kind of turns and veers off, and I cannot imagine that heartache. And so everything is a little complicated. When you really stop and think about it, life is not just cut and dry. 

 

0:13:51 – Brian

No, I’ve come to this realization is that what they sell you in movies is a lie. It’s never that beautiful. It’s never that peaceful and it’s never where you get to put a bow on it and say life is perfect, it’s never like that. 

 

0:14:05 – Kayla

So I do worry. 

 

0:14:08 – Brian

Shock. 

 

0:14:09 – Kayla

I know what if god takes me first really that’s always been something that no, no this is something that plagues me and I worry that if god took me first, if we’d had kids, I could know that you had loved ones who were going to take care of you upon my passing, and that’s always plagued me a little bit. 

 

0:14:33 – Brian

That plagues me as well, because your worry is my worry. I mean I get up at 2 o’clock in the morning to go do what 56-year-old men do at that time of the morning and I come back to lay down and those things start. I mean it keeps me awake. Like you know, if I don’t wake up in the morning, she’s alone. There’s nobody there, and so I try to yeah. That’s why church, community and that kind of stuff sometimes is important, because now I don’t want to leave, tomorrow I’d like to have another. 

 

0:15:03 – Kayla

Yeah, please don’t. 

 

0:15:04 – Brian

I’d like to have another 20, 30 years with you. Yeah, as long as I can get around well, but I do worry about that. But I have to trust that the God who’s gotten us this far, he will be faithful to get us home. Yeah so. 

 

0:15:18 – Kayla

Yeah, and another beauty in this is we can see that God continues to surround us with couples. They’re beginning their journey. We can encourage them, we can support them, we can help them to see that it won’t always be this hard. But I may not ever fully understand his ways. I know enough of him that I can assure that younger couple that God is good and I can share with them, that he can be trusted and that he’s faithful and he’s true, and that his plans for them are way better than any plans we could ever have of our own. 

 

0:16:03 – Brian

I didn’t think I was going to cry today. You’re just ripping my heart out. You’re just ripping my heart out. I guess I got a little bit further to go than you. I would tell those couples that he’s true and he’s faithful and he’s loving and he’s caring. But part of your life might also be a little bit of bitter profit, because God doesn’t always operate. 

 

0:16:29 – Kayla

But hopefully that will drive you closer to him. Gotta get a Kleenex. 

 

0:16:35 – Brian

I wasn’t expecting this today. I mean here you roll up in here. So sorry, now my mascara’s running Stop. Will I ever be 100%? Okay with this? I’m trying. 

 

0:16:54 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:16:55 – Brian

I am trying, but I’m thankful for Jesus. I’m thankful for you, darling, I mean it. I’m also thankful for all the kids who’ve passed through our home kids who’ve? 

 

passed through our home, yeah, I mean. And when they’re in town, they make a point to see us and introduce us to all their littles. And some of them they’ll call us and they’ll say Mom, Dad, we’re expecting baby number five. And I’m like, look, y’all need to figure out what’s causing this and stop it. You’re on five or six now, okay, so, but we love it. But I just want to say this what you just said deeply impacted me. I’m trying yeah. 

 

And I can tell couples that he’s faithful and he’s good, and I’ll do a better job of that. So that’s too much for me. Thank you, getting to know you. 

 

0:17:54 – Kayla

Yeah, okay, that was pretty heavy, so we need a little lighthearted. 

 

0:18:00 – Brian

I’m still wiping tears in my eyes. Yeah, I need a candy bar Piece of fried chicken. All right, what you got. 

 

0:18:10 – Kayla

Just a few questions about us. Some of these we get from people and some of these that I came up with on my own Just to kind of let them get to know us just a little bit better. Who is your favorite fictional character? 

 

0:18:23 – Brian

Darth Vader or Godzilla? Quick answer, or can I give one more? Sure? Willy Wonka, oh good one. Gene Wilder yeah, you favorite fictional character. 

 

0:18:36 – Kayla

Mine would be Mary Poppins. 

 

0:18:40 – Brian

Practically perfect in every way. 

 

0:18:42 – Kayla

Or, of course, any of the Winnie the Pooh characters. 

 

0:18:45 – Brian

I don’t understand Al. I don’t even know why he’s in the mix. He’s wise. No, he’s not, he’s crazy. 

 

0:18:51 – Kayla

Oh Well, all right then Best book you have read to date? 

 

0:18:58 – Brian

This year To date Best book Not this year. 

 

0:19:00 – Kayla

Just To date Best book Not this year just To date, unreasonable Hospitality. 

 

0:19:06 – Brian

Oh, phenomenal, phenomenal book, loved it you. 

 

0:19:14 – Kayla

The Diary of Anne Frank Wow. 

 

0:19:17 – Brian

That’s gone a little bit back. 

 

0:19:19 – Kayla

Okay, I’ve read some good books, but that one still impacts me more than I think any other. I mean not including the bible, but yeah somebody’s going to somebody gonna be like you people need some Jesus. Will you ever get another dog? We get this question a lot the answer is yes, okay we’re just not in a season to have a dog we’re not. 

 

0:19:42 – Brian

We’re way too busy and we wouldn’t be home enough. 

 

0:19:46 – Kayla

We are typically home two, two and a half hours a night, and that would be well. Let me clarify that. 

 

0:19:54 – Brian

Hang on, where are we sleeping? 

 

0:19:55 – Kayla

Before we go to sleep. That would just seem very selfish at this stage of our life, but we do. We have plans to get another dog. What are you most afraid of? 

 

0:20:09 – Brian

How honest do I want to be? 

 

0:20:10 – Kayla

Oh, you have to tell the truth or I will. 

 

0:20:13 – Brian

Spiders and being alone. 

 

0:20:16 – Kayla

Getting lost because it’s happened before. 

 

0:20:21 – Brian

Yes, yes, getting. 

 

0:20:23 – Kayla

I cannot handle feeling lost or not knowing where I’m going.

 

0:20:26 – Brian

That GPS takes this all throughout. Oh, I freak out. 

 

0:20:29 – Kayla

So what has to be first for you the book or the movie? 

 

0:20:33 – Brian

I really don’t care. Oh really. Yeah, I’ve never read the Harry Potter books. I’ve seen the movies 50 times a piece, though. 

 

0:20:41 – Kayla

What. 

 

0:20:43 – Brian

I’ve never read Chronicles of Narnia. I’ve watched those crappy movies too. Rude. Well, they got trees walking in them. 

 

0:20:54 – Kayla

And yet Godzilla is okay. This is where we are. Are we going to do this. 

 

0:21:02 – Brian

I feel a little judged. I didn’t criticize. 

 

0:21:06 – Kayla

We need to poo and you called chronicles of Narnia crappy. 

 

0:21:11 – Brian

Well it’s not my cup of tea. 

 

0:21:13 – Kayla

Well, okay, Godzilla’s not mine, but he’s awesome. Anyway, your punishment is you will now read the first Narnia book. 

 

0:21:21 – Brian

I am not Yep, I will go to book jail. I am not reading that Book jail. I am not reading that. 

 

0:21:27 – Kayla

Favorite Disney part. 

 

0:21:28 – Brian

No, you got to answer that Book or movie. 

 

0:21:30 – Kayla

Oh, I have to read the book first, really, because then I want to compare to see how true they stay to the book when I watch the movie. Why is that important? It matters to me. Maybe if you’d read the Chronicles of Narnia. You would like the movies have you ever read it. 

 

0:21:46 – Brian

Yes, all of them my uncle gifted me this set you read all that Prince Caspian stuff and all that. 

 

0:21:52 – Kayla

Yes, I did. Walking it back a little bit now. 

 

0:21:55 – Brian

No, I’m just because Carol Lass again take me to book jail. 

 

0:22:01 – Kayla

Favorite Disney park. 

 

0:22:03 – Brian

Hollywood Studios Easy Hollywood Studios. 

 

0:22:08 – Kayla

It’s a toss-up between Hollywood Studios and Epcot for me, because Epcot has the International Village and I love that. 

 

0:22:16 – Brian

You love the English village. I love all of it Fish and Chip. They have a little tea shop there in the English village. You like that. 

 

0:22:25 – Kayla

What is a food you refuse to eat? 

 

0:22:29 – Brian

Mushrooms, Brussels sprouts. Unless they’re doused in garlic and bacon. I’m not going to touch a Brussels sprout. If you can still taste Brussels, I ain’t touching the sprout. 

 

0:22:40 – Kayla

Yeah, it’s not happening. Probably okra. Oh yeah, ain’t touching this brown. Yeah, it’s not happening. Probably okra, oh yeah. 

 

0:22:47 – Brian

Mushy okra, yeah, bell peppers. 

 

0:22:49 – Kayla

Okay. We don’t have to list all of them. 

 

0:22:51 – Brian

Oh, sorry yeah. 

 

0:22:52 – Kayla

Okay, what is your Enneagram? 

 

0:22:55 – Brian

I’m an eight with a seven wing. 

 

0:22:57 – Kayla

And I’m a one with a two wing, and none of that surprises anybody who’s listening. A one with a two wing, and none of that surprises anybody who’s listening. So yeah, but there we are. So those are just some random questions about us. Speaking of questions, the first two people to go to our website and answer the question correctly, you will win a peas and carrots coffee mug what is this week’s trivia question? 

 

0:23:19 – Brian

so, our. 

 

0:23:20 – Kayla

Our question is book or movie which comes first for you? Do you have to read? 

 

0:23:27 – Brian

the book first, or I mean it doesn’t matter it’s just an honest answer. They can say I don’t care, but so hey, if you go to our website, the first few people go to our website. Answer that question correctly yeah, so book or movie. You’ll win a peas and carrots coffee mug, a good pack of Cute little stickers, and then we’ve added a pen a peas and carrots it’s very, very nice. They just came in. 

 

0:23:54 – Kayla

So click that trivia button. Answer that question. Peasandcarrotspodcast.com. You can search Peas and Carrots Podcast wherever you get your podcasts, or visit our website peasandcarrotspodcast.com. When you do, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast. 

 

0:24:09 – Brian

You can follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast. See you all later. I’m off to book jail. 

 

0:24:18 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Growing through the challenges we face and finding hope along the way. That’s the Jesus Fix It Podcast with Jess. Check out jesusfixit.com or search Jesus Fix It wherever you listen to podcasts. 

 

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Season 3, Episode 18: Oh, Bless

Can We Talk?
Oh, Bless - Episode Description

Join us, Brian and Kayla, as we recount our latest adventures, starting with our commitment to a three-day gym routine and Kayla’s intense day of gardening that led to some minor injuries and spider bites. We share a delightful dinner experience with new friends at the River Company, which brought a nostalgic sense of pre-pandemic normalcy. Listen in as we discuss the trap of self-sufficiency and the importance of recognizing and accepting the blessings, goodness, and grace of God as a gift, not something that can be earned.

In this episode, we also explore the everyday challenges of middle age, including sleep patterns, managing heat waves, and frequent bathroom breaks. We touch on the humorous aspects of forgetfulness and the diminishing effectiveness of multitasking, along with our differing tolerances for air conditioning and the concept of a “napitizer.”

It's A Trap - Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 

 

0:00:11 – Brian

Welcome to the Peas and Carrots Podcast. Hi, I’m Kayla and I’m Brian. 

 

0:00:16 – Kayla

How are we? 

 

0:00:17 – Brian

We’re good, we are good, we are good. We went to the gym every day this week. We did. Well hang on. 

 

0:00:27 – Kayla

We went to the gym for the three days we’re supposed to go? 

 

0:00:29 – Brian

yes, we did so, and it didn’t kill us it didn’t. 

 

0:00:32 – Kayla

I’m feeling it, but we’re here, yeah y’all. 

 

0:00:37 – Brian

We’ll be sitting downstairs about 8 30 at night. She’ll get up and she’ll walk like very gingerly. Y’all remember Tim Conway? I used to play that old man on the Carol Burnett show. She looks like she’s walking by sometimes. So, what’s up in our world besides that? 

 

0:00:55 – Kayla

Well, speaking of walking like that, Saturday I got this wild hair that I wanted to trim some of our shrubs. Seven hours later, mission accomplished. I was very sore for a couple of days Y’all she cut rose, bushes, shrubs, flowers. Planted some flowers. It was time, it’s spring. 

 

0:01:18 – Brian

And during the process she cut herself on all this stuff. How many nicks and cuts and bump bites oh, that’s not important. 

 

0:01:24 – Kayla

Actually, I really only ended up with two scratches, which is miraculous for me, but I think I got into a nest of spiders and I had about eight bites on me, so yeah, why are you telling me this publicly on this podcast? 

 

0:01:41 – Brian

and you’ve been sleeping next to me for a week since the biters. 

 

0:01:46 – Kayla

I think that’s what it was. I looked up the bites, kind of yeah, so I’m good, I’m still here I’m not really worried about you, I’m worried about them. 

 

0:01:54 – Brian

Things crawling off of you, onto me. 

 

0:01:55 – Kayla

They’re not on me, they were in the leaves and yeah, so calm down I’m a little whatever, we had an amazing dinner with some new friends. We did we did, it was yeah. 

 

0:02:13 – Brian

We went to one of our favorite places called the River Company. 

 

0:02:16 – Kayla

Some of you will understand this. It was reminiscent of pre-pandemic life and it felt like we finally got back to that. 

 

0:02:25 – Brian

Laughter stories. It was a grand time. Yeah, it was wonderful, it was. 

 

0:02:32 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:02:33 – Brian

And we’ve committed to make it a monthly gig. We have so yeah that’s going to be fun. It was great. 

 

0:02:39 – Kayla

Speaking of restaurants, though, we talked about this, I think, maybe on our last, last podcast. But, B, how many times have we now been to Cabo after today? Because you have declared we’re going there for lunch today? Four, uh-huh. 

 

0:02:54 – Brian

In the span of two or three weeks. 

 

0:02:59 – Kayla

You now have a new favorite restaurant. I do, oh, I’ve got big news. Okay. 

 

0:03:05 – Brian

I just learned it this morning oh big news. Okay, the new Godzilla movie to be the minus one. Is that your way of saying you will not be watching this movie? 

 

0:03:33 – Kayla

with me. 

 

0:03:33 – Brian

I have some flowers that need tending, so and it is in Japanese, so you have to use subtitles, but it’s incredible. 

 

0:03:42 – Kayla

Oh, I’m outside. You enjoy that is, it’s Zilla. Uh-huh, carry on, you’re going to be the minus one. I’m the minus one. 

 

0:03:52 – Brian

That’s great. 

 

0:03:56 – Kayla

You and I were talking the other day about this trend towards people seeing themselves as very self-sufficient, and it led to several conversations. But another thing that I shared with you it was one of those evenings where we were just kind of bouncing around from topic to topic and I shared with you that I see how God has us in a season of plenty, and let me unpack that just a little bit. We are both seeing all the ways that God is blessing us in our lives and I admitted that in these seasons I wait for the other shoe to drop. It’s like I’m constantly watching for something bad to happen and that’s just my I think it’s my self-protection of let me not get comfortable here. But it led us to start talking about what it looks like when God is blessing all of us, and it was a great conversation that kind of had many aspects to it. 

 

So we’re just going to share some of that here, some of the things that you and I were discussing. 

 

0:05:06 – Brian

So I want to start here. Why do you think that in this season of plenty in other words, we have friends, we’ve been going out, the organization’s thriving, we’re going to the gym all these different things happening? Why do you dread yeah? 

 

0:05:24 – Kayla

So we’re in a season where all those things, life has been very peaceful. It’s been very calm for the most part. Don’t get me wrong. We’ve had some hard things. We even referenced that recently on a podcast. But for us personally, things have been very even keeled, as far as there’s not been a lot of drama and there has been, unless I’ve created it. 

 

0:05:47 – Brian

Let’s just be honest, okay. 

 

0:05:50 – Kayla

We’re in a state of contentment, would it be fair to say, with everything. I think for me it’s just when I was younger, a lot of times in my life when things felt good, something bad would happen, I would get bad news or there would be a bad situation, and so, yes, it’s probably not to use this term like it’s probably a trauma response that I can’t allow myself to really enjoy the good thing. 

 

0:06:18 – Brian

But, you’re scared Because. 

 

0:06:19 – Kayla

I’m scared of you know what’s coming next. What’s going to happen that’s going to take all of this away or make it not as pleasant as it has been. 

 

0:06:28 – Brian

There is a truth there, and I hate to share this truth, but life does come with pain. In other words, it rains oh I know that well. 

 

0:06:35 – Kayla

There’s a verse in Matthew the rain falls on the righteous and the unrighteous and either yeah you can view rain as a flood, or is it helping crops? 

 

0:06:44 – Brian

so you know, it’s the bad and the good happen to both the righteous and the unrighteous. 

 

0:06:49 – Kayla

Sure, I get that what you and I started talking about. So this is where we’re kind of dip our toe in here. We started talking about people who tend to believe that their blessings are something they did, or perhaps they have sown a seed and so therefore they are I’ve? 

 

earned this, I’m worthy of this, which led to this truth being good people does not merit us reward, it tells us in Romans 3, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, we did nothing to save ourselves. But there is this movement that I can name it, claim it, I can sow a seed and then God will do this good thing, or I am worthy of that. I’m a good person. I’ve given to charity, I’ve done this, I’ve done that. 

 

0:07:45 – Brian

Scripture actually says that the entire world, that the universe, groans under the curse. So everything here, because of what Adam, and Eve, eve did, we’ve all been placed under this curse and everything groans yeah there’s this brokenness to it. So here’s what I want to say the only thing that isn’t under the curse would be god himself. Yeah, okay, so everything else would be under this curse, here on earth and in the universe. So here’s the thing. If that’s the case, we can’t earn anything. 

 

0:08:22 – Kayla

No, it’s all a gift from him. Yes, yeah. 

 

0:08:26 – Brian

I’ve been telling you the last few weeks who deserves a life like this. 

 

0:08:31 – Kayla

Yeah, we’ve just been both sitting with that feeling like who are we to have so much of God’s goodness? And again, this is not a well look at us and it’s certainly not a life is just all rainbows and roses. There have been. We even shared that recently on a podcast. There have been a lot of difficult things for our PAR team that we have felt they are our family and we have walked through a lot of that with them. What we are referring to here is this mindset that we deserve the credit and we don’t I mean I’m going to go there. We don’t I mean I’m going to go there. Prosperity gospel tells us that we can improve our lives through devotion and a positive confession towards God. God doesn’t work that way. 

 

0:09:26 – Brian

He is not a genie’s lamp. No, you can’t go over and rub it and speak it and proclaim it. No, scripture says that he’s declared the end from the beginning. Yeah, so we can’t change that. For that I want to be cautious here, but I also want to speak some truth. There’s a great effort along this exact same topic, this exact same thing we’re talking about, yeah, to where everyone is saying you’re worthy. Yeah, or you deserve it or I’m worthy. 

 

0:10:00 – Kayla

You’re not, or God wants this for you. Or God, you’re worthy yeah or you deserve it, or I’m worthy, you’re not, or god wants this for you or god? 

 

0:10:03 – Brian

you’re not. How do we know the mind of god? Well, there’s that, but that’s a very good point, because we seem to shout a lot wherever god whispers. But I want to say this we’re not worthy of the goodness, the kindness, the blessings and the grace. You see, the song Amazing Grace. The reason why he wrote it is because grace is amazing, because we don’t deserve it. Yeah, and the moment we start saying we’re worthy or we deserve it, grace is no longer amazing, grace is then. 

 

0:10:32 – Kayla

And we minimize what he’s done. Yes, and that is not. That’s not the gospel. 

 

0:10:38 – Brian

And it’s amazing grace, it’s not earned grace. 

 

0:10:41 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:10:42 – Brian

Who wants to sing earned grace. How sweet the sound. Who can earn it? Yeah? 

 

0:10:48 – Kayla

There’s another truth the goodness that God shows us should drive us to our knees in gratitude. It should should drive us to our knees in gratitude. It should not thanking us for ourselves, not thanking us for all the things we did or all the praise that we deserve, but it’s all about him. 

 

0:11:09 – Brian

I agree 100% with what you just said. My fault is I fall into a trap of thinking that if I keep doing X, y, z, oh, we all do that. If I keep reading, if I keep praying, if I keep going to church, if I keep, if I work harder, if I yeah. And that, if I don’t say as many curse words, you know that this blessing will continue to flow. 

 

0:11:34 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:11:34 – Brian

That’s not how he works. No, it’s according to his will, whatever he wants to do and on his time frame. 

 

0:11:41 – Kayla

Yeah, may I admit that I’m one of these who has said well, they are such good people, I can’t believe that they’re going through this, or they would be such good parents, or they deserve so much better in life. We don’t get to decide that God’s the one that is sovereign over all, and no matter how good we think we are, no matter how worthy we think we should be, he is the one that holds all things. 

 

0:12:12 – Brian

You’re going to upset a few people because you started preaching, I’m just saying. But I’m going to say amen, preach louder. I am 100%. All in Well, miss Kayla, yeah, I’m 56. We won’t reveal your age, okay. 

 

0:12:31 – Kayla

I mean I’ve made it this far. I’ll be 52 in October. 

 

0:12:39 – Brian

You remember, at one time you lost track of a birthday I. 

 

0:12:41 – Kayla

You thought you were a year younger. I was 32 and I thought I was turning 31 and y’all, I had an absolute meltdown. You looked at me and would you like to share what you said. I don’t remember. Well, babe, it was a great year. I was here for it. 

 

0:12:56 – Brian

You actually sat down and cried, I bawled, I’m like I lost the whole year. 

 

0:13:08 – Kayla

You didn’t lose it. 

 

0:13:11 – Brian

It was right there. Here’s my thing you handle the finances in our house. 

 

0:13:16 – Kayla

You’re welcome. Middle age, it hits a little different. It does, doesn’t it? So I now have to take my glasses off to read labels. Or I’ve learned a trick, y’all If you’ll take your iPhone and take a picture of the label, you can then zoom in on it, you can blow it up so you can see what’s on the label. But I cannot read labels anymore. You walked into the kitchen the other day and I had my glasses in one hand and I was reading a label with the other here we are. 

 

0:13:46 – Brian

Sometimes, when you take something out of the fridge and you want to see the expiration date, does anybody have to go turn on an extra light? 

 

0:13:52 – Kayla

oh yes, I have to go stand by the window. 

 

0:13:55 – Brian

I just I turn on the. This is where we are I turn on? Flashlight on my phone and I highlight the date. So gone are the days of sleeping through the night. 

 

0:14:09 – Kayla

Oh yes, mercy, I wake up, at least once if not twice. 

 

0:14:15 – Brian

For me. I sleep two, sleep two, three, four hours. Uh-huh, I’ll wake up, go do my business, come back to bed and I’ll lay there for an hour. 

 

0:14:27 – Kayla

Oh no, I don’t do that, thank goodness, unless there’s a lot going on or I know I have a big project coming up at work. I go right back to sleep, but yeah, I have to get up and yeah, I’ll lay there for work. I go right back to sleep, but yeah, I have to get up. 

 

0:14:38 – Brian

And yeah, I’ll lay there for an hour if I go back to sleep. I’ve talked to some buddies of mine. This is normal. 

 

0:14:44 – Kayla

Now, I do wake up some nights with a heat wave, but we’ll just leave it there. So y’all it’s the funniest thing. 

 

0:14:50 – Brian

Let me just paint a picture. We’ll be downstairs watching one of our shows and in one of our shows and she loves for the house to be cool and cold and she likes to be all bundled up under my blanket, under a blanket. All of a sudden there is no announcement all of a sudden that blanket will come tearing off of her and one leg will stick out and I will just say baby, it’s my cooling mechanism. 

 

Yeah, and I said, baby you, you say I got a little heat wave happening, yep, but those aren’t happening as much anymore, are they every now?

 

0:15:20 – Kayla

and then, thank God, no Change your diet, it works. Just saying 9 pm is the new midnight for us. 

 

0:15:29 – Brian

And usually 8.15 to 8.45, is usually a napitizer. 

 

0:15:34 – Kayla

A napitizer? What in the world? You know we fall asleep. 

 

0:15:43 – Brian

Oh, we have done that lately. 

 

0:15:43 – Kayla

Yeah well, I’m usually taking a bath, but so you’re taking a napitizer while I’m taking a bath, did we not? We both fell asleep the other night yeah, and so we fall asleep. 

 

0:15:52 – Brian

Yeah, for about 30 minutes downstairs. We’ll wake up and you’ll say b, let you ready to go to bed, let’s go to bed. That 30 minutes is an appetizer. Yeah, before you get to the main sleep. 

 

0:16:04 – Kayla

Yeah, what is something you found with bathrooms B? 

 

0:16:11 – Brian

can we clarify that question a little bit? 

 

0:16:14 – Kayla

I cannot walk past one without stopping it’s like something in your brain says I gotta go you also don’t know at my age when you’re gonna see another one. 

 

0:16:22 – Brian

Yeah, so I’m always true. 

 

0:16:25 – Kayla

I used to joke with people who stopped at every bathroom and now I’m like well, that just makes common sense, we should probably do that. So yeah, I mean, I don’t Anyone else struggle with the forgetfulness. It’s like you can’t remember things that were just so easy. Come back or recall, and now it’s like, hmm, if I have to stay very attentive in conversations. 

 

0:16:51 – Brian

I used to be able to do two or three things at once and I could retain everything. 

 

0:16:55 – Kayla

Well, I think you’d be surprised to find out that’s most of us, because multitasking is not as brilliant as everybody thought it would be. 

 

0:17:03 – Brian

But I have to really zero in, listen attentively in order to retain the information. But the forgetfulness is a real thing. I’ll do a devotion in the morning at 5 am. By like 12 noon I have forgotten exactly. I don’t even know what I read. I have no idea. So I started doing an evening one too, just so I can. 

 

0:17:26 – Kayla

My thing is names. I’ll be sitting there, I can see someone and I think I honestly cannot remember their name. You know what I’d love? 

 

0:17:35 – Brian

is to have a pair of glasses. I’d like to have my glasses where they are, but I wish that Apple would invent a thing where my glasses could connect to my phone. When you walk up to somebody you could like tap them twice and it gives you their name. It would do facial recognition on them and would give you their name. 

 

0:17:53 – Kayla

Wow. Well, there you go. 

 

0:17:55 – Brian

Wouldn’t that be nice? 

 

0:17:56 – Kayla

The next big invention. 

 

0:17:58 – Brian

Maybe I just, Maybe you came up with it. I’m sure somebody’s already invented this, but yeah, these are things we’re finding at middle age. I can’t tolerate air conditioning as much anymore. 

 

0:18:09 – Kayla

Oh, bring it on. 

 

0:18:10 – Brian

You’re all about it. 

 

0:18:11 – Kayla

I am. 

 

0:18:15 – Brian

We bring it on. You’re all about it, I am. We have completely reversed. I mean, I’m downstairs under two blankets. You’re over there, you know. I mean you’re over doing a little dance, so it’s a fun. I mean I’m enjoying this stage of life with you. Oh, absolutely. I don’t always enjoy how my body feels. 

 

0:18:31 – Kayla

Yeah, yeah, it’s an adjustment. I remember your dad said something one time. He said I never thought I would get old and by far we’re not there. But I mean, but we’re on the yellow brick road. 

 

0:18:46 – Brian

I mean we’re going to see the wizard. You know what I’m saying? 

 

0:18:50 – Kayla

But I feel like a lot of people can relate to some of this. So there we go. This is us. 

 

0:18:55 – Brian

This is us, so I’m here for it. Hey, thanks for listening to this week’s episode of the Peas and Carrots podcast, and we would like to send you. 

 

0:19:05 – Kayla

We’d love to send you a mug and some stickers the first two people to go to our website and thank you to all those who have shared with us.

 

0:19:13 – Brian

I want to do a special shout out to a friend of ours. Okay, her first name is Hope. 

 

0:19:18 – Kayla

Yes. 

 

0:19:18 – Brian

And she’s been emailing us every week. Hope we actually see those messages. Thank you for communicating. 

 

0:19:23 – Kayla

There is a package headed your way. Yes, and we have been praying for your recovery, so we hope you are doing well. We’re excited for all of your plans for the summer. We pray that God blesses you with healing so that you can enjoy those. But yes, if, like Hope, you would like to get a mug and some stickers, go to our website. Look for the trivia button. 

 

0:19:45 – Brian

Our website is peasandcarrotspodcast.com. 

 

0:19:49 – Kayla

Yes. 

 

0:19:49 – Brian

Peasandcarrotspodcast.com. When you get there, click on the trivia button. What is this week’s question? 

 

0:19:55 – Kayla

What movie, minus one, is Brian excited about? 

 

0:20:00 – Brian

Oh, it’s going to be. It comes out tomorrow. Yeah, I’m so excited. So go to peasandcarrotspodcast.com. 

 

0:20:08 – Kayla

Click that trivia button. 

 

0:20:09 – Brian

Answer that question level of enthusiasm is not impressive. Okay, and this is the question what movie am I excited about? 

 

0:20:16 – Kayla

Uh-huh, okay. You can search the Peas and Carrots Podcast wherever you get your podcasts, or visit our website peasandcarrotspodcast.com, and when you do, please don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast you can also follow us on Facebook and Instagram. 

 

0:20:30 – Brian

Just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast. 

 

0:20:33 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Life’s not perfect. That’s why God gave us friends like Melody and Candi. Check out QuirksBumpsandBruises.com, or search Quirks, Bumps, and Bruises wherever you listen to podcasts.

 

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