0:00:00 – Narrator

We go together like Peas & Carrots! The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch Brian and Kayla Sanders.

0:00:11 – Welcome to the peas and carrots podcast. I’m Brian and I’m Kayla.

0:00:14 – Brian

I’m also known as carrots and I’m peas so and there’s being K and all the other nicknames all sorts of crazy nicknames, yeah. I just didn’t make everybody aware. In case you hear somebody else in the studio, we have Christian Studer, who is in the studio with us today.

0:00:30 – Kayla

Mm-hmm. And he’s training us on this video mechanism that you’ll start seeing videos of the peas and carrots podcast, and Christian and I have learned that you are very inquisitive, so instead of just following instructions, you have to question every instruction.

0:00:48 – Brian

So that’s a bit of an overstate. No, I don’t think so.

0:00:51 – Kayla

It is anyway.

0:00:53 – Brian

I saw two buttons. Here we are and y’all kept pointing to one button and saying press the red button.

0:00:59 – Kayla

I don’t press this button. No, you press the red button.

0:01:02 – Brian

See, that’s why I’d make a good.

0:01:03 – Kayla

We just have to give you a hard time truer words have never been spoken. So what’s up in the world of peas and carrots?

0:01:12 – Brian

well, we almost died this weekend. We got home.

0:01:16 – Kayla

It’s a little drastic, but okay.

0:01:20 – Brian

Crazy, crazy storms move through the area.

0:01:24 – Kayla

Yeah, we did.

0:01:25 – Brian

Saturday was a little wild yeah we live right next door to like Blacksburg Virginia, the home of Virginia Tech, the game was supposed to start at 12 noon. Yeah, it did not get really started till 615 that evening Because of storms.

0:01:41 – Kayla

I mean Lightning it was lightning that I have not seen since we lived in New Orleans. It was a good one and I’m where you used to storms there, but this was crazy yeah it was a Fun time, I felt very sorry for those that had attended the game and had to evacuate and then they had to come back and that kind of stuff. Yeah, and it was not even known until what, like five o’clock. Yeah, if they were gonna get to have the game but tech lost.

0:02:10 – Brian

But speaking of football, you were a very happy, happy girl all day Sunday.

0:02:16 – Kayla

Yes, there were 14 football games yesterday and you watched three of them. But there were 14. That’s so exciting and my team won and I say my team, because you abandoned the Saints for a season to be a what a Colts fan, because who was playing for the Colts?

0:02:39 – Brian

Peyton Manning.

0:02:41 – Kayla

Yes, and so you know not to rub it in, but the Saints ended up in the Super Bowl with the Colts.

0:02:49 – Brian

Right, so I couldn’t lose and who won and I couldn’t lose who won. I could not lose Because I was a fan of both things.

0:02:56 – Kayla

Yeah, that’s not how you get to play that they wonder in that controversial season. Oh, here we go.

0:03:02 – Brian

Anyway, my.

0:03:03 – Kayla

Saints won yesterday. Your Saints, my Saints, I was loyal to them.

0:03:07 – Brian

We had a sweet to watch a game if they’re your third, your Saints.

0:03:11 – Kayla

All I’m gonna say yeah.

0:03:13 – Brian

I guess that my team this year would be the Saints, so Okay. I’m more of a Manning cast fan where Peyton and Eli have that.

0:03:25 – Kayla

So for the non football person, what does that mean?

0:03:28 – Brian

Peyton and Eli have their own TV show on Monday nights for Monday night football and you get to watch these two stellar former quarterbacks Interpret the game it’s hysterical and their brothers, and their mom and their dad show up and they’re constantly Ribbon each other wasn’t there a week where Eli got a helmet stuck on his head or something? Peyton did because his head so big. Yeah, so there you go.

0:03:54 – Kayla

Ah, miss Kayla so I’ve noticed a new culture war.

0:03:59 – Brian

Oh.

0:04:00 – Kayla

Pumpkin spice and all things pumpkin.

0:04:03 – Brian

I was about to go to political stuff.

0:04:04 – Kayla

No, we don’t do that. Okay, it’s become the new Christmas tree.

0:04:09 – Brian

We’re pumpkin spice.

0:04:10 – Kayla

You haven’t seen this, no, so every year it gets earlier, your.

0:04:15 – Brian

Instagram feed looks different than mine. Okay, I don’t.

0:04:21 – Kayla

Okay, well, most of mine is like dogs or goats or yeah anyway. There’s a whole camp of people that you should not have pumpkin until October and your Christmas tree goes out after Thanksgiving. And Then there’s a whole camp of people that the minute the pumpkin spice becomes available, they’re having everything pumpkin. Why not just do what you want to do?

Well, there’s that so, but I’ve noticed your pumpkin spice people are typically your people, who are also putting their tree out Right after Halloween, which I’m all about that, but it’s become the new judge Christmas tree up after Halloween. We normally do.

0:05:05 – Brian

Oh, I don’t use the we still live in the same house. As of when we left this morning at 715, we did but seriously, have you not seen this?

0:05:14 – Kayla

It’s just this constant back and forth of there shouldn’t be pumpkin until October. Who cares? Let people be people.

0:05:24 – Brian

If you want pumpkin.

0:05:25 – Kayla

Now go for it.

0:05:26 – Brian

I don’t have a dog in this fight.

0:05:28 – Kayla

I don’t either. I will confess this. I did not do anything pumpkin in August, but after we got back from the beach, there’s something about our beach trip that signals to me okay, now it’s fall and my brain shifted gears, so that’s where I am. September, I’m all about the pumpkin. I’m not waiting till October moving forward.

0:05:51 – Brian

Would you have these kind of conversations with your girlfriends? Wow, I’m kind of I feel a little I don’t know.

0:05:59 – Kayla

This is, this is it’s been a good run.

0:06:09 – Brian

Speaking of failure, we want to talk about failure. We want to discuss failure just for just for a few moments, because social media, instagram, facebook, tiktok Threads, whatever you mean there’s 18 million apps now all the social platforms, yeah what they present is this fake Reality overnight success that everything is a success. Yeah and all you see are the successes of people. Yeah, and what sad is that. My fear is first of all, I’ll start here is that we’re raising up a Generation who thinks that success is easy mmm.

Because they see everybody in these filters. They see everybody doing these great, magnificent, amazing things that that are on social media. Yeah and they don’t realize how much hard work may have gone.

0:07:13 – Kayla

I was gonna say they don’t realize the Attempt that it took to get that one win. We all default. Our brain goes to this place of oh well, that looks easy. That wasn’t hard for them. I think of JK Rowling and we see the success that Harry Potter has been. She had 12 rejections of her first 12 publishers rejected her every single most publishers before yeah, they are Before she finally had a win with her Harry Potter book.

I feel that and yet now, those that are of this generation that are becoming their Harry Potter fans, all they see is her mass success. They may not realize all the like struggle she went through To get that win.

0:08:06 – Brian

Yeah, sometimes. I was talking to a young person the other day and I said Michael Jordan. They said who? And To me he’s he. To me he’s the greatest basketball player that’s ever walked this earth. Yeah, all that they see are his highlight.

0:08:22 – Kayla

Mm-hmm.

0:08:23 – Brian

They don’t see all of his practices. Yeah they don’t see that he played sick. That there’s all this hardship that goes in to be great. Yeah so I think Oprah Winfrey was fired from eight different stations and she got Well before she ever landed that particular gig. Yeah, lincoln failed at a store, had to, we’ve you had to get one in there Did he, I’m gonna one up you in just a second.

0:08:53 – Kayla

But okay. Go ahead.

0:08:55 – Kayla

No, you’re good, oh we. I think this is so cliche to say this, but we can learn so much more from Failure. If we’re willing to be students, then we ever will from any success that we have.

0:09:10 – Brian

This is my wheelhouse. This is where I thrive, mm-hmm.

0:09:16 – Brian

I Love to study people who endure, yeah, people who don’t give up. Lincoln, fdr, church Hill, ulysses S Grant, these are all heroes of mine. Steve Jobs, jack Welch these are all folks that, like I follow, who I read about, because they faced enormous obstacles, yeah, and they should have given up. They had to hide razors and scissors from Lincoln because he was so stressed out. They were afraid that he would commit suicide.

Mm-hmm and so everybody has failures. Everybody messes up in some area, and you learn more From failure than you do from success. So, with that being said, we want to be a little bit transparent and talk about and confess, yeah, what are some of our biggest failures?

0:10:14 – Kayla

Well, my biggest failure is friendship, and that’s really humbling to sit here and admit that I’ve really struggled to not to get friends, but to Keep friendships, because people are weird, oh gosh okay.

Well, I mean, you’re not wrong but, through Therapy and various other good tools, I’ve had to own my piece of why friendships may fall apart. And just within the last Probably three to four years I’m a better friend Because I finally sat with the reality of why do friendships now? I’m not saying every friendship is going to be hugely successful or Long-term, and some friends are friends for seasons. So I’m not saying that. I don’t get that piece.

0:11:07 – Brian

Michael W Smith lied when he said friends or friends forever. Okay, he’s lying.

0:11:13 – Kayla

He said no, but that’s another yeah. So I Just I think sometimes when we fail, we have to look at what we contributed to the failure, and so for me, it was an honest evaluation of what kind of friend am I, and my default was, if I feared that someone else was pulling away or the friendship was changing, I would leave before they could, which was very toxic, and I had to come face to face with that. I also another failure of mine. I always wanted to run a marathon and I quit.

0:11:53 – Brian

That’s not a failure.

0:11:56 – Kayla

Realization gave you grace?

0:11:58 – Brian

No, I just. I see that as a fail, because it’s something that I always Wanted to have you seen the people at the end of a marathon, how they act and what they’re going through?

0:12:09 – Kayla

I have seen their faces. Yeah, pain, well they’re, but it’s anyway I Get it. You have to be a runner to understand this, but so what would you share?

0:12:23 – Brian

Two huge failures. Want to be food Hmm, I use food as a salve. I use food as a medicine? Hmm, not. Like you know, I fall down. Get cutting them over a rubbing fried chicken Food is a comfort. Yes, it’s a comfort, it’s a mental thing that, yeah, hamburger is my best buddy and Never talks back, always love me and he’s always there for me. So food has been the greatest failure, and so what God did is he put me in a gym and he gave me 49 food allergies.

0:12:56 – Kayla

He took care of that.

0:12:57 – Brian

Yeah, and so now you know my best little friends, a carrot, and that just you know whoa you know. That’s just as if yesterday blueberries, but that’s another topic for another day and I know trying to push them on me.

0:13:09 – Kayla

You ate some. Yesterday when at home Did you put them in a plate.

0:13:16 – Brian

So yeah, okay there anything else you would like to share as far as failure, that, in order for people to accept me, I had to meet a standard set by them. Mmm and this goes back a long way. It’s I call it this hamster wheel standard that I had to get on this hamster wheel and keep it turning and and Constantly strive to meet that person’s approval. That in order to be a good person, you had to be X in order to be accepted.

You had to do why yeah and that was a fact, because I believed all that, because I had such a low opinion of me, and so that’s a huge failure and I did that for you have.

0:14:01 – Kayla

I’ve seen a huge win in that this year you have, you’ve learned to step over that. People pleasing.

0:14:08 – Brian

Now, I don’t mind pissing people off.

0:14:12 – Kayla

Wouldn’t say that, but okay.

0:14:14 – Brian

Christian works for organization. Christian, would you agree? I don’t mind. Now you think I’m okay there. Winston Churchill, who is who’s a hero?

0:14:27 – Kayla

see I had to get a Churchill quote go ahead, go ahead. I love this and I live by this. Success is not final, failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts endurance. Again, I go back to the get off the mat and try again.

0:14:48 – Brian

You get overwhelmed by the war, you get overwhelmed by what you’re facing, that this cannot be done, that that I cannot succeed, I cannot win and Therefore you just want to quit. Yeah, and therefore that’s why I study all these great leaders who they should have given up. They should have just thrown into look, I’m out. Yeah, I did not sign up for this. I am out. They didn’t. And they stood there. And here’s what’s funny about Churchill he won the war and they voted him out. Yeah, that’s just. I mean, I would just be like you ungrateful people. Yeah, I mean, I would have just written them a letter, I would have just I’ve want to kind of land the plane on this. There is no permanent success, mmm.

No there is no such thing as permanent success. Tom Brady won how many Super Bowls? Five, six I mean.

0:15:44 – Kayla

Yet he’s still through interceptions and he’s still through interceptions. Yeah and lost games.

0:15:50 – Brian

Somebody asked him he won Super Bowl two or three. He won and said what will you do tomorrow? He said I will start preparing to win the next one.

0:15:59 – Kayla

Oh.

0:16:00 – Brian

Because that success wasn’t permanent. Yeah he had to continue to strive. He threw interceptions, he got sacked, he made bad decisions. Failure is a lifelong partner, and it’s one that that you need, because failure will teach you more than success ever will yeah, it will teach you what you’re good at.

It will teach you where your weaknesses are. It will teach you where you need to hire people around you. I am horrible with math. I don’t do math. You do math great. Accounting does math great it’s. Therefore I have to hire people who are great at that to put around me. I don’t do details. That’s why y’all made fun of me about this camera. I don’t do detail. I okay. There’s one button on there. I understand I’m supposed to touch one button detail wasn’t that hard.

But there are two buttons on there, so I’m trying to figure out. Am I supposed to press the first one first and the second one second? I don’t do details. I will show them smile, look pretty and talk I’m good with that. But it’s all the little button touching and record. Look at Christian laughing at me.

0:17:10 – Kayla

That’s just not me, I would add one final thought. That I’m pretty well, that’s a given. Okay, I think you’re cute, but anyway, let’s not make this uncomfortable for Christian, who’s sitting here.

0:17:19 – Brian

I don’t think that would make him a come here’s.

0:17:22 – Kayla

Here’s a truth I’ve always held to as well make sure that in your circle is Someone who is tenacious and is not afraid to push you. When you have a fail, they are not afraid to get in your weedies and say get up and try again. Now, yes, you, you need to have the freedom to kind of wallow for a little while. But we all need that person or people in our life who’s willing to come alongside us and believe in us and Push us to try again. Oh, because otherwise quitting would far outrank success.

0:17:59 – Brian

Have somebody in your corner who believes in you and will cheer you on, who will hold up a mirror and say this is where you actually stumbled, but this is why you’re also believed.

0:18:10 – Kayla

And I believe you can succeed. Yes, yeah, yeah. So let’s have a little fun. So we’re trying to end on a light note here. So we all know the interwebs are filled with memes, and so we thought we would have a moment of instead of. I mean that, I mean that.

0:18:35 – Brian

Okay, there was a woman at Kroger on Friday. We went grocery shopping after work and she was wearing an actual t-shirt that had one of my favorite memes on it.

0:18:42 – Kayla

Oh, I love it. It said I like dogs and maybe three people, and she’s wearing that in Kroger. It was hilarious.

0:18:51 – Brian

And I laughed to her and I said I like your shirt. She went, thank you, I mean she did not.

0:18:56 – Kayla

You’re not one of her three people.

0:18:57 – Brian

I’m not one of her three people apparently I mean, she didn’t, you know, react like that. Go ahead, what’s the next one? Everyone needs one friend you can’t sit next to in serious situations.

0:19:12 – Kayla

I learned this at a funeral. I did. That’s really embarrassing to admit, but we got tickled and had to. Yeah, I sat next to my best friend at a funeral and we nearly got kicked out, literally yeah.

0:19:28 – Brian

Giggling, yes, laughing.

0:19:29 – Kayla

We got. We got the giggles and it was just. I’m sorry, it really was a bad moment to get the giggles, but people were turning around and looking.

0:19:39 – Brian

It was that bad. I’ve officiated funerals Like I’ve spoken at funerals as the pastor, where people start giggling the back and I want to know.

0:19:46 – Kayla

I think it’s just nervous energy that has to release itself. Well, yeah, I mean, here we are. What do we like? I mean so this next one. I need to let you share this one, because you showed me this and we were wheezing, we were laughing so hard it was a meme that kind of turned into a video.

0:20:07 – Brian

I sent this to my best friend, stan, and it was a meme with a video on it and it says have at least six friends who would carry out your casket.

0:20:17 – Kayla

So that was the mean part, that was the mean part, and then it added a video.

0:20:21 – Brian

And it said six. It said this is my best friend. It showed one person dragging the casket down the middle of the street. I mean some of us ain’t got six baby, so there’s that.

0:20:33 – Kayla

So you sent me this image the other day and it’s a trip to Target, is what it was called, and it had the husband’s trip and there’s like four lines and he’s finished in the store, I get what I want and I leave. Yeah. Then there is the wife’s trip to Target.

0:20:54 – Brian

Is the unknown? Is expedition unknown? We search every product on every aisle and and look at everything and comment on it, and you’ll pick stuff up and show it to me Isn’t this pretty, yeah? And you’ll put it back on the shelf.

0:21:12 – Kayla

This is why it’s just best that you stay home and watch one of your shows and I go to Target. We’re both happy that way.

0:21:19 – Brian

But the meme is like the husband takes four lines, there’s like four lines.

0:21:23 – Kayla

There’s this series of back and forths, but you take 843 lines. Yeah, okay.

0:21:29 – Brian

So why do we have?

0:21:31 – Kayla

to look at everything Anywho, so this one moving on. No, no, no, no no no, no, because you don’t again. I’ve said this before you do not go to Target and tell Target what you’re going to buy. You go to Target and Target tells you what you’re going to buy. So there’s that, just as the way it is, okay. So this one is one of my favorites.

0:21:56 – Brian

The meme says go big or go home.

0:21:59 – Kayla

Some people seriously underestimate my willingness to go home.

0:22:04 – Brian

You thrive at home, don’t you? I do? Pandemic was your super bowl, it was.

0:22:09 – Kayla

It was my moment. Well, that’s not true, though, I have to confess. After about two weeks at home, I was done.

0:22:17 – Brian

Even.

0:22:17 – Kayla

I wanted to meet strangers.

0:22:19 – Brian

I want to tell a little story on her. During the pandemic, speaking of going home, there were seven weeks in which the organization was on lockdown.

0:22:27 – Kayla

Yeah.

0:22:28 – Brian

Well, we weren’t going out to get food at that, I mean, we grocery shop, but we weren’t like we were not doing takeout.

0:22:35 – Kayla

We weren’t frequenting restaurants.

0:22:37 – Brian

Yeah, so after about seven, eight, 12 weeks, I finally ordered takeout.

0:22:41 – Kayla

It was three months yeah.

0:22:43 – Brian

When the food came to the door and she sat down at the table, she did not realize she was doing this. What were you doing at the table?

0:22:50 – Kayla

I had my fork in one hand and I think I didn’t spoon in the other and I was doing this little dance. I was just kind of jigging in my chair and I had no idea I was doing it.

0:23:00 – Brian

It’s like what are you doing? She goes.

0:23:02 – Kayla

I was like I’m so happy, I’m so excited. It’s food. I didn’t have to cook this, so yeah, that’s great.

0:23:10 – Brian

Let’s see here Another meme. The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

0:23:22 – Kayla

So I have to kind of describe this one Picture.

0:23:26 – Brian

There’s a pelican and the meme says he’s on the ocean, he’s on the beach.

0:23:32 – Kayla

Yeah, he’s on the beach and it says don’t touch that and this. If there was ever a meme that described UB, the Pelicans leg goes to the side and it touches that Because the minute you are told don’t do that.

0:23:50 – Brian

I’m gonna do it. You’re gonna do it Just for spite, even if you don’t want to, and that’s where my relationship with God often goes off the grill. But yeah, I mean I’m gonna. It’s like, don’t go in there. Why, what’s in there?

0:24:03 – Kayla

There might be something I have actually learned with you not to look at you in social settings and say, don’t turn now, because the very first thing you’re gonna do you can have like a swivel head, and so I’ve had to learn to wait until the appropriate moment.

0:24:18 – Brian

What would your?

0:24:18 – Kayla

final one be.

0:24:20 – Brian

It’s a picture of like a little kid with this massive pizza and it says I’m into fitness, fitness, whole pizza in my mouth. That is one of my favorite favorite memes. So yeah, so hey. Thanks for listening to the peas and carrots podcast.

0:24:38 – Kayla

Indeed.

0:24:39 – Brian

And just this past week we had three additional winners of the peas and carrots coffee mugs, and we have something new that we will be sending, starting this week. Autograph pictures of Miss K.

0:24:53 – Kayla

If you go to our website and you answer the trivia question, not only will you get a mug, we have brand new stickers.

0:25:02 – Brian

Stickers.

0:25:03 – Kayla

You’re so excited about these stickers Because they’ll look amazing on someone’s water bottle their laptop a journal.

0:25:13 – Brian

This is a big thing now, isn’t it?

0:25:14 – Kayla

Yeah, and Robin, our graphic designer, did an incredible job, so we’re excited to share these and they will go to. So, anyway, go to our website. Look for the trivia button.

0:25:27 – Brian

So you could win a coffee mug and a pack of stickers and a sheet of stickers. Okay, yeah. All you have to do is answer this week’s trivia question.

0:25:34 – Kayla

Which is what is one of your favorite funny memes? Describe it to us. That’s great and so this could be fun.

0:25:42 – Brian

So you win a mug and a sheet of stickers. You go to our website, peasandcarretspodcastcom. Once you’re there, what do you do?

0:25:48 – Kayla

Click the trivia button. Answer that question, which is share your favorite funny meme. Okay, and then we will gift you a mug with some stickers.

0:25:58 – Brian

Thanks for listening. You can search the peas and carrots podcast wherever you get your podcast.

0:26:03 – Kayla

Visit our website peasandcarrotspodcast.com and when you do, please don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast.

0:26:09 – Brian

And also follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Just search for the peas and carrots podcast. Now I wanna fit a whole pizza in my mouth for lunch today. Ha ha, ha ha.

0:26:19 – Narrator

For more about the peas and carrots podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarretspodcast.com. Laughter with good friends, no matter how bumpy the road gets. That’s what’s waiting for you with every episode of another great podcast: Quirks, bBmps and Bruises with Melody and Candi. Subscribe today, wherever you listen.

0:00:00 –

We go together like Peas & Carrots! The Peas & Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch Brian and Kayla Sanders.

0:00:11 – Kayla

Welcome to the peas and carrots podcast.

0:00:13 –

I’m Kayla and I’m Brian. We’re also known as peas and carrots, and I’m peas.

0:00:21 – Kayla

This is true, and I’m K. Yeah, so we’re like a split personality.

0:00:31 – Brian

I ain’t gonna say who the psychotic one is.

0:00:35 – Kayla

Might learn that by the end of this episode. But there we go, here we are.

0:00:41 – Brian

So what’s up in the world of peas and carrots?

0:00:43 – Kayla

I think I have entered the peak of adulthood. I was so excited to research and buy a new vacuum cleaner.

0:00:53 – Brian

Okay don’t look at me like that when you said you had reached the peak of adulthood, I thought you had unlocked some major no, this was awesome.

0:01:02 – Kayla

I Like read all these reviews and yeah.

0:01:08 – Brian

You researched?

0:01:09 – Kayla

a vacuum cleaner. Vacuum cleaner.

0:01:11 – Brian

Yeah, that is not the peak of adulthood, darling.

0:01:14 – Kayla

No, maybe, maybe you have reached the peak of adulthood, because what happened with you this week, walter? Okay, we got to give folks the context of Walter, while you call me that so there’s this comedian and he has a puppet, he’s a ventriloquist mannequin named Walter, and he’s this guy with this he’s an old man with this really like grumpy face and his whole persona. Is this grumpy, sassy middle-aged? Miss Kay’s been calling me Walter because that’s the phase you’re in and to reinforce my Like description of you, what happened the other day?

0:02:00 – Brian

They are repaving the roads in our neighborhood.

0:02:03 – Kayla

Mm-hmm.

0:02:04 – Brian

I come home. There are two signs in our neighborhood do not park on. Y’all can.

0:02:08 – Kayla

I just inject here. They are basically an 8 by 11 sign, it’s not? You’re not talking like a political sign, or doesn’t matter?

0:02:19 – Brian

Okay, nobody sent me an email asking if they could put these signs up in our yard. Nobody informed us of this. I just come home and the town has presumed they are free to put a sign in our yard.

0:02:33 – Kayla

Okay, so you’ve basically turned into get off my lawn, yeah.

0:02:37 – Brian

I get off my lawn, or at least ask permit, or just at least tell us you’re gonna put a sign in there. I’m still laughing at you. This is a democracy. We do, we do, we do not live under King Charles. Mm-hmm felt that one didn’t you not taking the bait.

0:02:54 – Kayla

Okay, on a serious note, we have found that, unless we are traveling, there are a lot of reasons we no longer eat out, because the last couple of times we tried, it’s been catastrophic almost got killed yesterday. Yeah, they nearly served you egg.

0:03:15 – Brian

Yeah, in a product. And at the very last minute when you and Tara got your lunches, the waiter comes me and says sir, we can’t serve that which I’m thankful he did.

0:03:26 – Kayla

But we had one experience on vacation that left me really nervous and prepared to use the epi-pen at any moment. You can tell when a wait staff is taking it seriously.

Yes or when someone is just Blah-zay, whatever, and I mean you actually carry an allergy card that you give to the wait staff and say, could you ask the chef what’s safe for me to eat? And he just left me very unsettled. So thankfully you ordered something very generic that didn’t have hardly any seasoning or Added ingredients, but I still was. I was pretty nervous until you got to the next day.

0:04:10 – Brian

I feel like, okay, feel like all these allergies, I’m not eating British food, just bland, no flavor.

0:04:15 – Kayla

Okay, strike two. What did the British do to you today? Anyway, show up with a little tunes what they did gotta have one of you keep going, though You’ve had quite a week between your road signs in the yard, traveling home from a station visit and I had a large Coke zero from a drive-thru Mm-hmm.

0:04:39 – Brian

I tried to pick it up, bring it over to take a drink and when I did the, I had it by the lid and the lid popped off and it went all over my lap Over your seat and sticky. So, yeah, when I got home, I immediately went to our car cleaning place and Got your car detailed.

0:05:03 – Kayla

So you know, it’s just a little more excitement than you were counting on for that day, so I was not in a very good humor and you were thirsty because yeah.

0:05:11 – Brian

Oh yeah. So you know, if you spill that on you, it makes you want to pee. Okay, there we are, oh I just the power of checking our feelings. I’m a very deep feeling person, but you feel things even deeper than I do. I mean, it’s incredible to me and I struggle with certain things. Yeah this is a Important topic to you, so I’m gonna let you lead off here.

0:05:51 – Kayla

Well, you and I were having a discussion the other day because, in Total honesty, I’ve really been struggling with my purpose, and I shared with you that I just feel a lot of things, and you reminded me that feelings are, are legit, but they should just be indicators, not dictators, and that’s something that I Will give full credit. I learned that from Lisa Turquoise years ago reading one of her books, and it’s always something you and I have tried to Adhere to and it got me thinking and this is what I was sharing with you. How many times would we make Life-altering decisions as humans, if we did so, based on our emotions?

0:06:41 – Brian

wouldn’t work anywhere, I wouldn’t go right anywhere. I wouldn’t have any fun.

0:06:45 – Kayla

I don’t have any friends now, so I would have any friends but if we didn’t check our feelings, how many Incredibly bad decisions would we make if we only let our feelings dictate? Yeah, I mean there’ve been. I’ll be honest. There have been moments where I’ve thought none of this matters. I don’t feel like what I’m doing has value. I don’t feel like anybody gives a rip about me as a person, or I feel like I’m the only one that cares about something. It’s just, and the list goes on and we’re all guilty of it. But we start connecting things.

0:07:26 – Brian

Yes, and that’s when we can get in trouble. And that’s a dangerous thing to do, because feelings can can lead you to false conclusions. Let me say this there’s a rule I have which is never make a big decision when you have big feelings.

0:07:42 – Kayla

Oh yeah. Never make a big decision, and usually girls when I’m saying here is do not go and get bangs on a day when you have big feelings.

0:07:52 – Brian

I Don’t know what that means.

0:07:54 – Kayla

You’re not meant to. You’re a guy our bangs hair. Yes, you’re a bald guy. I don’t expect you to understand.

0:08:05 – Brian

It’s gonna be one of them. Podcast Calling my therapist, you just made me feel a certain way your bounce. Yeah, and we have to also remember that there are several things at play. Mm-hmm, okay Now, I often have a down day. I often get down on Brian. I’m gonna be very transparent. How I’ve coped with that for 50 some odd years is to eat Because that little hamburger, that little piece of fried chicken, it would never Condemn me but I’m proud of you because this year you have worked really hard.

0:08:44 – Kayla

Well there’s a. There’s enough bad foods that you could still.

0:08:47 – Brian

There’s not a burger tomato after I can go run through. Okay, but here’s my thing. There’s a checklist, that it’s a middle checklist for me. One how did I sleep? To what mood did I wake up in? Three how did I interact with people? And yet, how did they interact with me? Did they say something that could offend me or like set me off? And then, if that’s true, well then, what’s that say about the next day? Could I have a, a Sensitive, hard day the next day? Because this person or whatever has happened here, can set me on a trajectory, can set me on well, we start to write a novel based on our feelings.

0:09:30 – Kayla

Yes not fact we? Well, if this happens, then we’re gonna connect the dots to this, because this made me feel this way, and then I felt this way, and then I felt this and yeah, it’s, it’s a dangerous road to go down.

0:09:44 – Brian

Now we need to say this If you’re in an unsafe environment or like an abusive relationship, yeah those feelings are an hour or you have a gut instinct we all have that.

0:09:58 – Kayla

I call it the God, given that, if there’s those moments, then you do need to trust your feelings. We are talking about, I think we’re talking about moments where maybe you’re feeling sorry for yourself, or maybe you’re feeling nobody tired and you’re not owning.

You just said something very powerful. You’re tired, and so you’re feeling this way. You are feeling lonely, thus you’re feeling this way. Identify what the real core of what you’re dealing with is. But yes, b, that’s a really good point. If you are in a situation where it’s unsafe or it’s toxic or your gut is telling you you’ve gotta honor that.

0:10:45 – Brian

I’m gonna be very vulnerable here. I struggle with like loneliness in a major way and I’ve talked about that and I serve in a position as a leader where I can be lonely.

0:10:58 – Kayla

Because that lends to some people pulling away.

0:11:01 – Brian

You know so I can get to a headspace where all my leaders I start thinking well, they all just hate me. Nobody cares. You know why am I even freaking here?

0:11:13 – Kayla

When really it’s that they’re either busy or they’ve got something going on in their own life or they don’t want to inject and here’s the truth Into you’re already busy week.

0:11:24 – Brian

People rarely are thinking about us or even criticizing us. You wanna know why? Because they’re too busy thinking about themselves and even criticizing themselves.

0:11:35 – Kayla

So a solution that we have found that Miss Kayla loves is that there’s power in what I always say there is power in community, because feelings tend to manifest in isolation and one of the things that we as a couple find is that when we are spending time with other people, we get a fresher perspective, we get a new lens on things. But also, I think, for every single one of us, one of the struggles of the COVID season has been so much time in our own head, in our own space, where maybe we didn’t have other people around us as much for a certain amount of time, and it probably lended to all of us sitting in some bigger feelings than we do on the normal day.

0:12:27 – Brian

Miss Kayla just said that there’s power in community and our feelings tend to manifest in seasons of isolation. There’s one thing Brian Sanders will never do, because I will not put myself in, that, because of my insecurities and my fears, I will never go out to eat what?

0:12:47 – Kayla

Alone.

0:12:47 – Brian

I’ll never go out to eat alone Because as I sit there, this is just my own broken y’all I’m thinking all these people are looking at me, thinking that guy’s a loser. He can’t get anybody to go out to eat with him. I won’t do it.

0:13:01 – Kayla

And you know what I’ve learned? There are people.

0:13:04 – Brian

Who love going out to eat alone and they take a book with them.

0:13:07 – Kayla

Yeah, I’ve seen it. I’ve seen it in restaurants, where someone sitting there reading their book.

0:13:13 – Brian

You know some people would like would look at that and go. That person’s weird. I’m sitting there going oh you brave, because I couldn’t. I could not do that.

0:13:23 – Kayla

And see I’m sitting there saying I want to invite all these people sitting by themselves to come sit with us. That would get a little weird, though I’m not doing that. Yeah.

0:13:32 – Brian

No, they did that to us on a cruise one time.

0:13:37 – Kayla

We met some nice people.

0:13:38 – Brian

We did, but okay, yeah, we’re with okay.

0:13:41 – Kayla

What is something else that you do be when you are really struggling with certain feelings? What have you found to be helpful?

0:13:47 – Brian

I read the Psalms, Because when you read the Psalms and the author of the Psalms is David you’ll find that he had to skip his meds on days.

0:13:59 – Kayla

He was up and down, Down, up and down up and down and that’s. But I loved his raw honesty Because it gives so much assurance to the rest of us.

0:14:10 – Brian

And this Psalm, you’ll see, I mean he will write Psalms back to. Even in the. Even in the same Psalm, he’ll say I am worm food, Nobody loves me, I am just crap. And then, and then, a verse later, his heart has turned. Oh, praise the Lord, let’s give thanks to him, like something has shifted in him in that short amount of time, and I’m welcome to humanity. Welcome to, welcome to who we are as people. But again, check your feelings. Don’t let them dictate your decisions, because you’ll end up in a ditch.

0:14:48 – Kayla

And a couple of things I’ve learned personally and be you’ve been a huge help to me in the last five years with this Identify what’s really going on. I have a rule for myself I do not sit with any big feelings, for there are at least four weeks in the spring and four weeks in the fall. That’s when we are in our company’s biggest fundraising season.

0:15:13 – Brian

And maybe a few weeks leading up to those.

0:15:15 – Kayla

And I’m a little tired because, again, it’s 14 hour days. I don’t sit with any big feelings and let them manifest, because I can tell you, the root of all of it is I just need a good nap and I’m just asking ourselves what’s really going on, what’s behind it. Is there something that our body needs? Is there something that our mind needs? And then just practice the pause. I’m not saying ignore the feeling, because in some instances, the other thing I’ve had to be brave and do is go to people and say, okay, this is how I was left feeling, can we talk about this? And it either identifies an area where we need to rumble and some candor needs to be involved, or they can say, oh man, that’s not what I was trying to communicate, or that’s not how I meant to perceive this situation for you. So, yeah, it’s figuring out for you what you need to step past the feelings rather than snuggle them, which again could lead to really bad decisions.

0:16:30 – Brian

It makes me I’m gonna make this one point and we’ll move on it makes me nervous. I’ve heard this is a big thing. That’s been in Christianity now for the last 20, 30 years. People say I feel. God is saying this. Now I know how they’re probably using the word feel, but when you read the scriptures, he never inserts a feeling.

0:16:54 – Kayla

Yeah.

0:16:55 – Brian

He usually nudges a heart, presents a path or speaks to you through his word. Does that make any sense? So I would caution all of us. Do not interpret your feelings as God telling you to do something, because that could lead to-.

0:17:14 – Kayla

Because when the feeling passes, are you still gonna attribute it to him?

0:17:18 – Brian

Yes, and now you’re in a mess. So how’s that go, okay? Well, on that we’ll move along there. Okay, y’all, we gotta have a discussion, okay.

0:17:35 – Kayla

This is gonna be, I think, a little off the rails, but that’s okay. We’ve been toying with the idea of whether we should go here or not, so we’re gonna go here. We may not be able to look, anybody in the eye for the next.

0:17:48 – Brian

If it ends up in the ditch, we’re gonna blame our friend Becky Graves, who has encouraged this kind of conversation.

0:17:56 – Kayla

Okay, that’s. I don’t know that I would blame anyone, but here we are so let’s talk about changing seasons.

0:18:06 – Brian

And we, y’all, we, are going to keep this.

0:18:09 – Kayla

We’re gonna keep this PG Can.

0:18:11 – Brian

I say something. Okay, lord, please help me not say anything that would cause me to get divorced. In Jesus’ name, amen, Stop it.

0:18:18 – Kayla

These are some of our general observations on air quotes. Middle age that’s how we’re gonna refer to this.

0:18:25 – Brian

Can I say something? I am 55. There’s no way I’m living to a hundred and twenty All right, listen, just roll with this Okay, all right.

0:18:33 – Kayla

For example, when I stand up, my joints now go snap, crackle, pop and it’s as if everything has become quite vocal in the last couple of years. I can’t quietly bend down or cause you often From joints popping, not anything else. Yeah, let’s clarify that you have-. I found quite the humor in my knees crack and my elbows pop and I think I’m getting a bowl of cereal, rice, krispy Kreme, snap, crackle pop.

0:19:08 – Brian

Here’s my thing. Why can’t my kidney sleep past three o’clock in the morning? Why does my bladder knock on the door at three o’clock? And then, when you get up and you go use the bathroom, you come back and lay down. Why do you lay there for an hour?

0:19:21 – Kayla

Well, I don’t mean. I’m sorry for you.

0:19:23 – Brian

I do. I just I’m like okay, I’m awake now. I Don’t want winded this at, I wait at 35. This never happened at 55. It’s just, you better get up. Yeah you know, just laying there.

0:19:35 – Kayla

So here we go. At this stage in my life, I Cannot tolerate the heat like I once could.

0:19:46 – Brian

I’m now the one lowering the thermostat and our house, and I’ve been thinking about buying a sweater because we have reversed roles. She used to be the one who loved the heat and the warm.

0:19:59 – Kayla

Oh, it makes me so cranky now Just, I can’t handle we’re at the beach and she’s living.

0:20:07 – Brian

It’s hot Well, you’re in the Sun, baby. Well, I want to get. A tan will come. Well, baby, you got it. Yeah, you know, I found that I can tolerate the heat a lot better now. But like we’ve been in certain restaurants lately and I’m like man, I need a little sweater. I mean, I’m like I’m turning into an old man, I’m like I’m so nervous about that. So I have continued to wear short-sleeved shirts because I will not. I will not now.

0:20:34 – Kayla

Now see, I’ve always had a cardigan with me. I hardly ever need it anymore, but I always have a cardigan. All right, this one is a serious one, and I know I’m not alone in this. There are days where I find myself gripped with anxiety and it’s because I’m Fearing that worst case scenario, and I think a lot of it is suddenly that I’ve just become acutely aware of my own mortality. But there are things and I’ve been reading about this and it only comforts me to know I’m not alone. But for women of my stage, it’s very common that anxiety is a Faithful. I hate to use the word friend, because I don’t think anxiety is a friend, but it’s. It’s very Normal to have that, and so I find myself often having to walk myself Off the ledge over certain things. I mean, I even view travel differently now because of my anxiety.

0:21:37 – Brian

But here we are about once a month, getting vulnerable here when I’m up at 3 am. It’s only happens about once a month. Once every two months I will have an anxiety episode over dying and I’m like, what if I die tomorrow? And I’m very selfish, I’ll start here. I’m like is it gonna be painful?

and and then it goes to you how do I help K be okay after I’m gone? I mean, I have all the financial stuff set up for you, but I’m like how do I help her be okay after I’m gone? And I’m like oh mercy. I’m like there’s nothing I can do, I’m dead. You know, there there’ll be so.

0:22:17 – Kayla

Yeah, I think it may. Just a keenness to where we are age wise yeah.

0:22:24 – Brian

What? What did you used to be miss K?

0:22:26 – Kayla

I used to be a huge night owl and now I’m ready for bed at 8 30 Seriously every night now. Some of that’s probably because we do get up at 5 am Many days of the week, but still by 8 30. I’m like turn it off, go to sleep.

0:22:45 – Brian

I love 5 am. I hate 9 pm. I love getting, I love the mornings. I love the peacefulness of it, I love the quiet of it. But you crave it more I do.

0:22:56 – Kayla

I crave that piece, I crave that quiet and it’s funny because in my younger years I could jump up, get ready and be out the door in 45 minutes. Now I need a three-hour runway before I leave the house.

0:23:10 – Brian

I Can’t, I can’t jump through hoops and she will sometimes get in our car barefoot Because she runs out of time trying to get ready.

0:23:18 – Kayla

Yeah, here she comes to the car with her little socks and coming it, coming in.

0:23:23 – Brian

She’s coming in hot y’all. The other day I saw you doing this. We were having an insurance meeting and what did you do with a piece of paper?

0:23:32 – Kayla

So I call it the trombone effect. I had to keep taking the paper and pushing it out and pulling it forward. Take my glasses. Put them on. It’s just. It’s a whole nother thing with read, and I don’t, don’t come at me. I just had an eye exam. My glasses are fine, it’s just. Reading is a whole new thing with where to hold the paper. So let me just say on a serious note the longer you live, what do you see more of?

0:24:02 – Brian

grace and the kindness of God.

0:24:03 – Kayla

Hmm.

0:24:04 – Brian

I see that, how he takes care of us, how he’s always been there, how he sustains us we take it less for granted, don’t we? I do. Yes, I’m trying to yeah on a humorous note at 55. Why do?

0:24:23 – Kayla

you never walk by anymore bathroom.

0:24:26 – Brian

Even if I don’t feel the urge. I’m gonna go in there and try. I’m gonna go in there and use the bathroom, because I don’t know when I’m gonna pass another one again. Mm-hmm, has anybody else reached that stage in line? You know I better go, just in case there’s not another one. Have you reached that stage?

0:24:41 – Kayla

yet or no, sometimes not quite. Yeah, miss Kayla. Well, I’m gonna go there.

0:24:48 – Brian

Becky, this is yours.

0:24:51 – Kayla

You know I blame it on them because it’s just true. But hormones are a whole Another level.

0:25:00 – Brian

I just want to say I love my wife.

0:25:02 – Kayla

She loves you too, but there are moments where y’all I’m embarrassed to admit this, but it’s true so just to give someone else some comfort, there are moments where I feel this rage and I have no idea where it’s coming from.

0:25:19 – Brian

Yeah, and I just, I just worry I have to step in a shallow grave somewhere in Jowell’s County.

0:25:26 – Kayla

It okay, it’s not that bad. But I will confess there have been a couple of moments where, legit, I’ve had to come back to you and say, be, I’m sorry, you didn’t deserve to be snapped at for that, I Own it. And I find myself more and more being mindful of the things I don’t need to say and the things I don’t need to do. But I’m very imperfect on this and I can just tell that, good gracious, I’m mad about something and so I have to ask myself what the heck is going on, because I just I want to like throw it all away or I want to blitz creed and Nothing good is gonna come of that.

Probably why I go to bed at 8 30, but it’s just. Yeah, I’ve made some adjustments and this is getting better.

0:26:20 – Brian

I think you’re.

0:26:21 – Kayla

Perfect. You’re very kind so but, I, don’t feel that way the next time. I have a rage moment.

0:26:26 – Brian

I don’t weapons in the house either stop it.

0:26:30 – Kayla

So, yeah, I mean it’s y’all this, this whole middle-aged thing is all. It’s a whole different thing.

0:26:36 – Brian

I don’t. I’m not gonna speak to this because I haven’t experienced this, but so but.

0:26:43 – Kayla

You’re too busy looking for a bathroom.

0:26:53 – Brian

So here we are. Hope, you see, don’t go out, all right, hey y’all, we’ve been having weekly winners to our podcast.

0:27:00 – Kayla

I mean folks from Virginia, north Carolina we’re learning about you and we love it. Thank you to our friend this week I am going to respond to you. Thank you for sharing what book you’re reading and so we’d like to give away two mugs.

0:27:16 – Brian

This, yes. So if you go to our website, which is peas and carrots podcast calm you’ll see a little trivia button there.

0:27:24 – Kayla

Click the button Okay. The question this week what purchase have you made that revealed your level of peak adulthood?

0:27:35 – Brian

Just don’t understand why a vacuum plate never mind. So again, we want to give away.

0:27:40 – Kayla

There are people out there.

0:27:41 – Brian

I understand I’m gonna be very scary, but we’re gonna give away. Do we like to give away two coffee mugs this week? The peas and carrots Podcast coffee mugs go to our website peas and carrots podcast calm. Click on the trivia button.

0:27:54 – Kayla

And what’s your big question? What purchase have you made that revealed your level of peak adulthood? You can search the peas and carrots podcast wherever you get your podcasts. Visit our website again, that’s peas and carrots podcast calm when you do, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast.

0:28:12 – Brian

You can also follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Just search the peas and carrots podcast. Oh look, there’s a bathroom.

0:28:17 – Narrator

For more about the peas and carrots podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peas and carrots podcast. Calm Laughter with good friends, no matter how bumpy the road gets that’s what’s waiting for you with every episode of another great podcast quirks, bumps and bruises with melody and candy. Subscribe today, wherever you listen.