Season 2, Episode 37: Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas - Episode Description

Join Brian and Kayla as they share their Christmas wish for YOU for 2023. Our listeners have been such a gift to us this year and we can’t wait to rejoin you after a couple of weeks off for the holidays. With love from Peas and Carrots, Merry Christmas! “See” you next year! 

Merry Christmas - Transcript


0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like peas and carrots! The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch Brian and Kayla Sanders.


0:00:11 – Brian

Welcome to the peas and carrots podcast. I’m Brian and I’m Kayla. Okay, right before we came on the air, miss Kayla told me quote “be nice to people. Today you look cranky.”


0:00:22 – Kayla

I don’t think I’m cranky. Okay, you have to say it I think I’m a little crank. What’s up in the world of peas and carrots?


0:00:30 – Brian

Well, apparently I’m cranky. Well, you went to the doctor yesterday, three weeks after you fell.


0:00:42 – Kayla

I did and I just want to say thank you. Many have checked on my situation after my fall down the stairs, and my hip is healing.


0:00:53 – Brian

You didn’t.


0:00:53 – Kayla

I did not break anything. It’s going to take some time to heal. There was some tissue damage and there’s apparently a sack near your hair, so that Mine is. It’s got some fluid and so it’s just. But I am healing and I’m a little gimpy.


0:01:10 – Brian

You still can’t lay on that side I cannot, and I’ve still got some swelling. But you said it could take months.


0:01:16 – Kayla

It could take a while. I did a good job. I don’t do anything halfway so, but I do appreciate all the concerns.


0:01:24 – Brian

I just want to go on the record for everybody’s made the stark comment. I was in the truck Waiting on her to come out. I did was not in the house, I did not hear her fall, did not see her fall when I knew something, as happens when she came limping out in the Garage and then I ran to and I even tried to play it down, but it hurts so bad that I couldn’t.


0:01:44 – Kayla

But anyway, no, you did not push me down the stairs, you did not have anything to do with it.


0:01:49 – Brian

So I do feel guilty that I wasn’t there.


0:01:52 – Kayla

Oh stop, it’s all good. Okay, nothing broken, so Hallelujah number one.


0:01:59 – Brian

Okay and hallelujah number two which is we are done Christmas shopping.


0:02:04 – Kayla

We are. It’s a true Christmas miracle.


0:02:07 – Brian

We’ll think of something.


0:02:08 – Kayla

We’re fully. I know I’m like who did we forget cuz?


0:02:11 – Brian

hopefully the right people oh.


0:02:13 – Kayla

Oh, there’s that cranky.


0:02:16 – Brian

It’s a lovable crank. I’m trying to be. Accurate a lovable crank Okay if I, if somebody ever writes my life story, it should be called lovable crank.


0:02:30 – Kayla

Okay, so I have a confession. We are literally the only house on our side of the street that has not decorated outside for Christmas and it all fell.


0:02:42 – Brian

How many Christmas trees do we have in the house? Three, and you got little gnomes. And you got I’ve got Christmas decor all over the. And you got where is Snoopy? This is in his Downstairs.


0:02:53 – Kayla

And you got Mickey and Minnie and but we never got out, we never got decor up outside and it’s less than two weeks till.


0:03:01 – Brian

Christmas we have these neighbors live across street and they never decorate outside never. And they did. She’s walking down the stairs the other day and she says you know, I don’t feel as bad because the neighbors across street Don’t have anything. Well, all of a sudden other night I hear dang it. I said watch. She said the neighbors across street put lights out.


0:03:21 – Kayla

I May have to break down and put the outside Christmas tree on the porch. It’s less, we’ll see, okay, I’m just saying so.


0:03:30 – Brian

There we are, so it doesn’t bother me Again, lovable crank, I could care less. Then people don’t come in mind, you know, then people Doesn’t matter.


0:03:42 – Kayla

We’re all in the spirit outside. We’re lovable crank outside. There we go.


0:03:50 – Brian

This is gonna be a shorter podcast this week, yeah, so just know that, and we just want to take a few moments and wish all of you a very merry Christmas.


0:04:01 – Kayla

We do. We have a few wishes for you this Christmas, and it will. It’ll have a different feel to it, but we just wanted to say may your heart receive, receive whatever it needs this year.


0:04:14 – Brian

May God meet you use a cookie.


0:04:16 – Kayla

Yes, okay, we’ll find some.


0:04:20 – Brian

I’m not allowed to have them anymore.


0:04:21 – Kayla

Well, that’s true.


0:04:22 – Brian

Very sad. May your heart receive whatever it needs. Do you need forgiveness? It’s available. Do you need some hope? It’s available. Yeah, so we do pray that your heart receives that. Next, may you give yourself grace, no matter what this holiday looks like. Yeah, and this is a big, this is a very big principle for you that don’t force yourself into a situation that can cause stress or heartburn or something like that. It isn’t worth it, it’s not, it’s not worth it. So, again, give yourself some grace, no matter what this holiday looks like.


0:05:01 – Kayla

Your holiday does not need to be Instagram worthy. It can be exactly what your family needs, full stop.


0:05:13 – Brian

I’ve always I heard this about people who take these beautiful Instagram pictures and I’ve always wondered what’s on the other side of the camera? What are they not showing?


0:05:26 – Kayla



0:05:27 – Brian

Because I think sometimes we’re trying to live up to this expectation that isn’t, that’s just impossible, I mean.


0:05:35 – Kayla

And it just creates more pressure. So do not succumb to the pressure.


0:05:39 – Brian

At some point. I think we’ve bought that like hallmark movies. Can be true they can be real. And they’re not. There is never the perfect snowfall, there is never perfect peace, there is never any of these things, and if it is, it’s short lived, because we live in a fallen world. But, yeah.


0:05:56 – Kayla

On a more positive note, may what God did through a tiny baby be bigger than anything else that this year has sent your way. May you come to the end of 2023 realizing that it’s all about what happened.


0:06:13 – Brian

All that happened in a, in a manger over in Bethlehem. With that I’d like to share just a brief Lincoln story.


0:06:22 – Kayla

Really. Yes, it’s Christmas.


0:06:25 – Brian

This is a Christmas Lincoln story.


0:06:27 – Kayla

Of course it is Okay Is it okay.


0:06:30 – Brian

Yes, Lincoln had a side office next to his main White House office and it’s where he made tea. He had two secretaries, john Hay and John Nicolay. Well, Lincoln was in that office making tea and he heard a baby crying and he said, Nicolay, is there a baby in the White House? Now, in that time anybody could go in the White House and request to see the present.


0:07:01 – Kayla

Don’t try that today.


0:07:02 – Brian

Yeah, I wouldn’t try that today, they’d probably arrest you. And he said yes, sir, there’s a woman here to see you. So Nicolay walks out and brings the woman into this little side office and she’s cradling a baby in her arms and the baby just keeps crying. Lincoln never makes eye contact with the woman, he just stares at the baby and she says sir, my husband has gone AWOL from the Union Army and there’s a warrant out for him and if they find him they will kill him. Would you please pardon him? Lincoln just keeps staring at the baby as it cries.


Lincoln steps to the side, takes out a quill, writes out a pardon, signs it, hands it to her, and he can’t stop looking at the baby. Where he hands her the pardon, she turns around and she runs down the hallway and she’s screaming I did it, I did it, I did it. Nicolay here’s this. And so he starts running after this woman down the hallway of the White House. She gets just outside and he finally catches her and he grabs her by the arm and he turns around. He says, madam, you did nothing. The baby did everything.


0:08:23 – Kayla



0:08:24 – Brian

That’s here’s what I’m going to say to our friends. You can’t do anything to get to heaven. It’s what the baby did.


0:08:34 – Kayla

That’s right.


0:08:36 – Brian

So that’s my Lincoln Christmas story. That’s pretty good isn’t it?


0:08:40 – Kayla

Okay, I’ll give you that one, all right. There you go. We will end with this. You have been such a gift to us this year. Thank you for all your comments and messages. We have enjoyed getting to air quotes meet so many of you this year. We are excited to rejoin you in a couple of weeks after the holidays.


0:09:02 – Brian

We’re going to take a few weeks off.


0:09:03 – Kayla

But Merry Christmas from our home to yours.


0:09:07 – Brian

Hey, thanks for listening this past year. So many of you now have peas and carrots, mugs and stickers and from our home to yours Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. You can search the peas and carrots podcast wherever you get your podcast or visit our website at peasandcarretspodcastcom.


0:09:25 – Kayla

When you do, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast. You can also follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Just search for the peas and carrots podcast.


0:09:34 – Announcer

For more about the peas and carrots podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarretspodcastcom. Life’s not perfect. That’s why God gave us friends like Melody and Candy. Check out QuirksBumpsandBruisescom, or search QuirksBumpsandBruises wherever you listen to podcasts.




Season 2, Episode 36: M I C K E Y … M O U S E

MICKEY...MOUSE - Episode Description

Join Brian and Kayla as they have a delightful chat about their recent trip to Disney World, and share their tips for getting the most enjoyment from time spent in the most magical place on Earth. Then get your jingle bells on as they share their list of must-watch Christmas movies. Pour yourself a nice cuppa tea and join the conversation!



MICKEY...MOUSE - Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like peas and carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch Brian and Kayla Sanders.

0:00:11 – Kayla

Welcome to the Peas and Carrots Podcast.

0:00:13 – Brian

I’m Brian and I’m Kayla. Just a heads up before we get too deep in the podcast. Miss Kayla has some sinus stuff.

0:00:21 – Kayla

I have a little bit of a cold.

0:00:23 – Brian

So if you hear her sneeze or hack cough, just carry on, just carry on nothing to see. Bless her little heart. But.

0:00:32 – Kayla

I blame it on Florida.

0:00:33 – Brian

Do you?

0:00:34 – Kayla

yes. Okay, cuz it’s never, because I went there to warm up and it was what was the temperature in Florida?

0:00:42 – Brian

58 or something.

0:00:45 – Kayla

It was 41 one day. Oh, not that I’m keeping scoring, yeah. So, but we just returned from where. Disney world we went to Disney. This was our delay trip from 2020.

0:01:04 – Brian

Mm-hmm and we’ll share more about that in a little while, but yeah, Say miss Kayla, before the Monday, before we left for vacation, you fell down the stairs. Now Let me just be clear about this. I was in the truck you were wait.

0:01:18 – Kayla

We were getting ready to leave for work. Leaving for work, I was already in the truck.

0:01:21 – Brian

I was warming it up and I was rushing and I did not hear anything. So people are yeah you know, did you go to her rescue? Well, I didn’t know anything’s going on till she came out.

0:01:30 – Kayla

She was limping we actually shared this on our last podcast, I think, but honestly, I was still in shock so we didn’t say a whole lot about it other than, well, I fell on the stairs. I was still in a lot of pain at that time and Two weeks Forward I’m still in a little bit of pain, but the bruises healing had a massive bruise on my leg.

0:01:56 – Brian

I asked you 800 times Could I take you to the doctor and have?

0:02:00 – Kayla

and I said no, because nothing was coming between us and that Disney trip so we walked an average of seven miles a day yeah, and.

0:02:09 – Brian

You did fine.

0:02:10 – Kayla

I did. I can bend, I have full range of motion, so yeah, there you go so but yeah, it was memorable and terrifying. I hit the top step and then landed on like the fifth step. I bounced down four steps. Sorry, my right leg and hip took most of the impact the bruise is almost gone. Almost it’s. Yeah, still got some swelling. So we’re watching that, but everything I’ve read tells me four to six.

0:02:38 – Brian

I think I could put a needle in there. I think you’re not doing anything and get rid of swell.

0:02:43 – Kayla

I think I could put a needle too, but it won’t end well, oh. All right then I think, I just got threatened on a national podcast, and that’s okay, so there’s something very fun that has emerged this fall. We are now evening. What? Tea people you love a good cup of tea. Yes, I’m so proud I have converted you.

0:03:07 – Brian

Oh yes, this little British woman of mine.

0:03:10 – Kayla


0:03:11 – Brian

I’ll do two cups of tea in the morning.

0:03:13 – Kayla

I bought us a fancy kettle and a teapot.

0:03:17 – Brian

Fancy kettle I did you excited about that.

0:03:21 – Kayla

I used it several times. Yes, so yeah, it’s all good.

0:03:26 – Brian

So we’re not gonna be playing any Olympic games or anything like that. When you said, you know, hey, what are we doing in the evenings now it’s like we’re not falling down the stairs I’m gonna say that oh too soon. Too okay, too soon. Wasn’t too soon to go walk seven miles a day at Disney, was it?

0:03:43 – Kayla

average nine, but okay, okay, to say that our trip was magical is an understatement, and I know that sounds very cliche, but we wanted to share with you some of our thoughts, reflections and stories on our week at the most magical place on earth. So what would you say? First, be for me?

0:04:09 – Brian

mm-hmm. Good, or can I just run the gambit? Okay, let me say this you need to go ahead and prepare for some curveballs when traveling.

0:04:19 – Kayla

Yeah, this, especially if you fly on Thanksgiving Day, right?

0:04:24 – Brian

We booked our flights to leave at like 1130 on Thanksgiving Day. Hop Delta canceled that flight and moved us to a 550 am Flight. Uh-huh, we live 45 minutes from the airport so we had to get up a little earlier and Little earlier.

0:04:47 – Kayla

We got up at two. We had to be up at 2 am.

0:04:50 – Brian

So that kind of stuff. So, and then, not only that, when we flew back, instead of going through Atlanta, they actually route us through New York and shifted our layover from five hours to how long? Eight hours that was pleasant and when you have an eight hour layover.

When you leave Orlando and you go to New York. We were told that you have to go to the when you will end in New York. Since it’s an eight hour layover, you have to go down to the whole luggage carousel you have to leave, go get your baggage and check back in. You have to actually leave the airport, go outside, come back in recheck your bags craziest thing ever done go back through security and do all and do. And then we did, we did.

0:05:37 – Kayla

It was it was okay, but it wasn’t what we plan no, and it was a little nerve-wracking because this was a new airport for us, but it was a wonderful airport. Yes, and we saw every inch of it in eight hours. So yeah, better party of one. Another thing for us, our arrival day at Disney World is always low-key. We aren’t these people that try to be there by noon and be checked in and drop off our luggage and go hit a park.

No we always ease into the trip. We spend the evening at Disney Springs, which this time we had the delight of Of spending the evening with some of our friends.

0:06:18 – Brian

Some of our friends, stan and.

0:06:20 – Kayla

Stan and Jose and Eric, and we did dinner with them. We always do dinner at Disney Springs and then our park day start on day two after a good night’s rest, so that we can not be half dead trying to navigate our first day in the park and we had a great meal that night and we did let me just say that the restaurants at Disney and Disney Springs.

0:06:45 – Brian

Oh, they’re still yeah, they’re there, they’re just stellar. And let me say this as well We’ll talk about the whole food allergy thing here in a minute.

0:06:52 – Kayla


0:06:53 – Brian

You got to be willing to like throw out the script. Whatever your plan is, throw it out. We flexed and went back to Epcot for a second day. Instead of Animal Kingdom, there are four parks at Disney. Animal Kingdom is probably our least. I like it.

0:07:13 – Kayla

Mm-hmm, but it’s actually not my least favorite park spoiler We’ll come back to that.

0:07:17 – Brian

We’ll come back to that, but Let me say this it’s the largest park. Yeah and you’re gonna walk.

0:07:24 – Kayla

There’s the fewest rides and, being that it was cold for Florida, we were afraid that the safari would be kind of underwhelming because the animals may be hibernating instead of coming out to play. So we just opted to take another day at Epcot, and we were really glad we did. It was very Relaxing and fun and when had fish and we got to ride Remy’s Ratatouille adventure.

0:07:50 – Brian

That was yeah, Go to France but if you’re gonna go on on vacation and you start learning what you like to do, don’t just stick to a plan that’s like pre-crafted. Do what you enjoy doing.

0:08:04 – Kayla

Yeah. So make it your yes not someone else’s expectation of your trip. For us, we have learned plan for rest.

0:08:15 – Brian

I just sing the docks all. We would go to park in the morning for like we get there at 830 because we had early access. We’d stay for four or five hours, we’d have lunch and we go back and we usually about two.

0:08:29 – Kayla

We get back to the room, we go back and take a little nap and then head back out around because, keep in mind, these parks open, for If you’re staying on property. The parks open anywhere from 730 to 830. And you can be in there until like nine or ten o’clock at night, depending on which park it is.

0:08:51 – Brian

So and I’m not 35 anymore. And I what was wait?

0:08:56 – Kayla

I felt that no, I’m not either. Okay, and I really felt it this trip. So yeah okay, every grown-up is Asking for a meltdown if you’re trying to be in a park from 6 am Until 10 pm With no rest in between. So, and we saw some adults, we did, we saw, we saw a meltdown.

0:09:15 – Brian

We we were in Magic Kingdom and these kids were having a mouth.

0:09:19 – Kayla

Oh my gosh.

0:09:20 – Brian

And the dad turned to the kids and says if y’all do not shut up, I will kill the mouse. I I had to walk away. I was gone, g-o-n-e, I was. That was the funniest thing I have heard in a lot of you. There’s kids but he says I will kill the mouse. Yeah, so yeah. But naps were a great thing. Yeah, I kind of miss them. Now we’re back.

0:09:44 – Kayla

I know right, this is a little real in the afternoon I’m like I really use.

I Wasted so much energy. This is just a reflection for me. There are so many things when you travel that are outside of your control. Will we stay healthy? What if? What if something happens with our house while we’re gone? What if there’s an issue with the plane? What if our luggage gets lost? And for this trip, in Retrospect, it was probably pretty Stupid in some ways to take a trip with my leg the way it was, because there were so many unknowns. Is it going to heal? Have I broken something? But I wasted so much Personal energy on all of that and it ended up. None of it came true and I thank God for that. But it was just a reminder to me. Be okay with what you can’t control and just enjoy being in the moment, because I think I did rob myself of Pockets of time where I would kind of I saw where it was going to be 16 degrees.

At home and I worried about our pipes and everything was fine. But yeah, so you also had a worry.

0:11:04 – Brian

I worried about the food.

0:11:05 – Kayla

I have all these food and that was a just worry.

0:11:08 – Brian

I have all these different food allergies. Now we have a friend, deborah, who also has food allergies and she goes to Disney a lot and she said they’re gonna take care of you. Well, I had never been there with all these food allergies. And she was right.

0:11:21 – Kayla

They were stellar Disney and there and when you struggle with allergies, share with them exactly what Disney did for you every time we checked in for a meal every time we checked in for a meal.

0:11:32 – Brian

You check in on the app and one of the things they asked you do you have any food allergies? And I would actually check my for food allergies. Yeah, and then when we got seated, the waitress or waiter would actually come to the table and walk me through it. They even said that the chef would come out and talk to me.

0:11:50 – Kayla

They brought you a special menu. They brought me a special menu a friend, our ticket was stamped with an allergy sticker.

0:11:56 – Brian

Yeah, so they knew instantly. Yeah, I’d never had a single Issue no at Disney regarding food, not a single issue. And they actually made allergy free Thanksgiving dressing. I had turkey allergy free cranberry sauce.

0:12:13 – Kayla

I don’t think you have ever been that excited allergy free.

0:12:16 – Brian

Gravy it baby, because a lot of that stuff would have a girl, that kind of stuff in it and I was able to. It was glorious. Yeah, it was pretty exciting. I just sat there for three hours. I mean it was. It was great. Ladies and gentlemen, we now have an unpopular opinion.

0:12:37 – Kayla

Magic Kingdom is just chaos, it just for us.

0:12:42 – Brian

Now let me just say once Again we do not have small children. Okay, magic Kingdom is the one that has the big castle, the castle, the big castle.

0:12:50 – Kayla

Okay by far, for obvious reasons. It’s the most loud park, there are the most meltdowns, the longest wait times. Our anxiety level actually rose after spending a day there, would you agree? So from now on we’ve decided we’ll just do what.

0:13:10 – Brian

Half a day. Half a day. There’s like three little rides there that we enjoy and there’s a restaurant now there that we enjoy and we will go to that.

0:13:20 – Kayla

We’ll go do the castle and we’ll do the shows. We love the very Merry Christmas party, so we will probably go for that. But as far as telling ourselves we have to spend 12 hours at Magic Kingdom, we will be very transparent. We do not typically nitpick at each other, but that was the one day we were really cranky with each other and we finally realized it’s this park, so we left and we rode People Mover, which was something we. That was kind of fun.

0:13:51 – Brian

It’s kind of fun. Now the entrance and exit of People Mover is very diff.

0:13:55 – Kayla

I found very odd, it’s a steep yeah.

0:13:58 – Brian

And difficult. But, there you go. Let me say this Even though it’s the most magical place on earth, it may not be the safest. We were taking some pictures at Hollywood Studios that was in Star Wars land and the guy said set your purse down here.

0:14:17 – Kayla

Next to him.

0:14:18 – Brian

Next to him. Yeah, and a little kid came up, apparently.

0:14:23 – Kayla

Unzipped my purse.

0:14:24 – Brian

Unzipped your purse and we Are you.

0:14:28 – Kayla

We wanted to think it was innocent, but when I turned I saw the parent pull the kid off my purse. So I don’t know if we interrupted something or if, or if she saw it. She just realized you’re in someone else’s bag. I don’t know.

Let’s just say that as a safety precaution I did not set my purse down. It was like a Women will understand this. It was like a cross body bag. I just wore it for the rest of the trip because it was a bit. It rattled us a little bit. I mean, if anything had been taken, my wallet and your wallet were in the bag and it could have ended a lot worse.

0:15:06 – Brian

But nothing was taken.

0:15:07 – Kayla

Don’t let your guard down even though you’re in Disney World. Be what was your best meal Next to the Thanksgiving meal.

0:15:16 – Brian

There’s a barbecue place that’s in the Toy Story land, it’s in Hollywood Studios, I think it’s rodeo, roundup rodeo or something like that. Yeah, I think all is the best barbecue I’ve ever had in my life, and that says something, because I’ve been to a place out in Texas that’s famous.

0:15:35 – Kayla

But y’all, it was incredible. Yes, and they brought you a basket. We couldn’t do more than one order.

0:15:44 – Brian

But they brought you barbecue chicken, brisket ribs, trying to think of what else. There was some pork in there, I believe, and we couldn’t even sausage sausage. And then you, and then there were allergen safe sides I had, we had mac and cheese coleslaw. Now, the baked beans were out of this world and they roasted corn on the cob.

They brought these Allergen safe biscuits, so I had with red pepper jelly, so I took a biscuit Something that I like to do and I chomped it up, now chomped it up, took my fork and broke it up, now chomped it up.

0:16:20 – Kayla

Well, you did, my friend.

0:16:22 – Brian

Derek’s, listen this, he’s going to just die. I took my fork and kind of crumbled it to the biscuit up and then poured those baked beans over that biscuit. You were so happy. I was happy as a pig and slop. It was glorious. At Disney there are two famous Star Wars rides.

0:16:39 – Kayla


0:16:40 – Brian

One’s called the rise of the resistance, one is called the Millennium Falcon Rise. The resistance is a total, immersive experience.

0:16:50 – Kayla

It does not Disappoint, do it. I’m just living up to all the height.

0:16:56 – Brian

If you are a Star Wars fan, go ride that right, it’s probably the most epic ride I’ve ever done and we did that. Then we went and rode the Falcon and the Falcon was just underwhelming it really was. So yeah.

0:17:10 – Kayla

Be prepared. If you do the Falcon, it’s very interactive. You’re either a pilot, gunner, gunner or engineer, so you actually have to play a role. I ended up being an engineer. I couldn’t even tell you what was going on the screen, because I just kept having to press buttons that lit up, so I have no idea what happened on the screen. Rise of the resistance, though, was Everything.

0:17:35 – Brian

I agree.

0:17:35 – Kayla

We did it twice just because the first time you wanted to take pictures, the second time you actually just wanted to enjoy the ride and I was really proud of you for that.

0:17:47 – Brian

So we do recommend Disney and we say this it isn’t the cheapest place on earth, oh, no, but you know, it is definitely a budget and save over time kind of thing.

0:17:57 – Kayla

So that would.

0:17:58 – Brian

We would highly recommend it. Go out, enjoy life, have fun, have some great meals.

0:18:04 – Kayla

So they’ll take all the pictures for you.

0:18:09 – Brian

Christmas. It is the time of year for Christmas movies and Christmas shows. You Love this time of.

0:18:16 – Kayla

I do. What did we watch Saturday?

0:18:20 – Brian

Muppets Christmas Carol use and.

0:18:23 – Kayla

This is season to be merry and jolly. I that we’ve gotten that out of our system. We thought, as we do every year, we would share a few of our must-watch Christmas shows, and then we’ll go ahead and give a teaser. Our trivia question is going to be what do you think we should watch? We’re gonna go ahead and tell you that, but be what. What are some of our must-watch Christmas movies?

0:18:52 – Brian

There’s a. There’s another Muppet thing by the Jim Henson company called Emmett Otter’s Jug Band Christmas and the music in it is just incredible. The guy who wrote the music for Muppets Christmas Carol, also did the music in Emmett Otter’s Jug Band Christmas and it’s great. I mean we love it. It’s a sweet story and it’s fun, miss Kayla.

0:19:16 – Kayla

This one may not be recommended for kids, but one of our favorite Christmas movies is for Christmases. It’s again it’s. It’s probably not necessarily Family-friendly, but if you’re having an adult date night, it’s, it’s definitely where we highly recommend it.

0:19:36 – Brian

Probably my all-time favorite Christmas movie is white Christmas with with Bing Crosby. Yeah, danny, danny Kay, it’s great Maybe.

0:19:48 – Kayla

I think so, yeah, okay and then oh. It’s so good, we watch it at least twice every Christmas love it.

0:19:56 – Brian

Miss Kayla, one of your favorite movies.

0:19:59 – Kayla

Yeah again, apparently I’m just a heathen.

0:20:01 – Brian

Maybe not again for young kids, but National Lampoon’s Christmas vacation and you quote what’s your favorite quote it’s a Butte, it’s a butte, clark, she says it all the time, y’all. She loves that there are these little claymation shows. My favorite is the year without a Santa Claus. It has heat, miser and snow. I’m Mr White Christmas.

0:20:30 – Kayla

I’m Mr Snow, that’s right. So that’s and they didn’t know they were getting dinner in a show.

0:20:36 – Brian

They didn’t know this is and this is, you don’t even have to pay for this today. This is free y’all. Another one of those. So there’s Rudolph, which I also enjoy. Yeah, so that’s fun. Yeah there’s also one, isn’t there one about the island of misfit toilet, I think so, but I think that’s part of Rudolph isn’t it.

0:20:57 – Kayla

Yeah, so we also like the Santa Claus. Maybe, there’s three of them and I will admit we love the first one, we love the second one. Could totally lived without the third one. Maybe some people love it. Go on, go right.

0:21:13 – Brian

Jack Frost? I think it’s Steve. What’s his name? The Maybe not.

0:21:19 – Kayla


0:21:19 – Brian

Short. I doesn’t Martin Short play Jack Frost in that.

0:21:22 – Kayla

I think so, but Tim Allen is the.

0:21:25 – Brian

He’s the main star, so but but we love the first two. Now, I’ll admit we’ve not seen any of that Netflix series based on the movies. No, not yet I’m not seeing any of that.

0:21:35 – Kayla

A Charlie Brown Christmas one of my favorites you love it, don’t you?

0:21:41 – Brian

I do, were they. They say the crew, y’all. She’s over here, she’s got her little hands like a little girl, she’s smiling, so it’s gonna be a fun few weeks, okay, two others really quickly.

0:21:53 – Kayla

I of course love to watch Harry Potter during Christmas cuz a lot of their movies are set stop.

0:21:59 – Brian

I don’t care if it’s Thursday, august 24th and there’s a Harry Potter marathon on USA Network, you’re watching it, and when you get me hooked in then you get nothing done.

0:22:12 – Kayla

Yes, I don’t care.

0:22:13 – Brian

I especially like the final two the deathly Hallows one day.

0:22:17 – Kayla

Finally, for me, my final choice would be the polar express. It’s a great little movie. I like it.

0:22:24 – Brian

I find it, it’s okay.

0:22:26 – Kayla

It’s supposed to be pretend, but yeah what would you know?

0:22:30 – Brian

This is real, potter’s not real. Let’s just go on record.

0:22:34 – Kayla

What would your final choice be? Do you have one Christmas? Yeah, I don’t, we hit yours, okay.

0:22:41 – Brian

Star Wars there is the Star Wars holiday special there is now.

0:22:46 – Kayla

That’s pretty cute.

0:22:47 – Brian

Yeah, there we go so anyway, those are ours.

0:22:52 – Kayla

If you go to our website and you answer this question correctly, you will win a peas and carrots coffee mug and some stickers.

0:23:02 – Brian

Some stickers, okay, and what is that question, miss Kayla?

0:23:06 – Kayla

What is your favorite Christmas movie that we should watch?

0:23:10 – Brian

Okay, so you go to our website. It’s peas and carrots podcast calm. When you get there, look for the trivia button, click that.

0:23:18 – Kayla

You can answer this question, miss Kayla what is your favorite Christmas movie that we should watch?

0:23:24 – Brian

Tell us okay, please do peas and carrots podcast calm. Hey, you can search the peas and carrots podcast wherever you get your podcast, or visit our website.

0:23:33 – Kayla

It’s peas and carrots podcast calm when you do, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast, please, or you can follow us on Facebook and Instagram just search for the peas and carrots podcast one more time Tiss the season to be merry and jolly Fa. La, la, la la.

0:23:51 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit Growing through the challenges we face and finding hope along the way, that’s the Jesus Fix It podcast with Jess. Check out or search Jesus Fix It wherever you listen to podcasts.




Season 2, Episode 35: Making Sense of Dollars and Cents

Making Sense of Dollar Cents - Episode Description

Get cozy and join us as we, Brian and Kayla Sanders, invite you into a practical discussion about managing family finances in the face of rising expenses. Drawing from our personal experiences, we share our own budgeting and saving strategies so you can control your money instead of letting it control you. Listen in as we provide some valuable insights on achieving stability and integrity in your finances.



Making Sense of Dollar Cents - Transcript


0:00:00 – Announcer
We go together like peas and carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch Brian and Kayla Sanders.

0:00:11 – Brian
Welcome to the peas and carrots podcast. Hi, I’m Kayla and I’m Brian. Welcome to this week’s edition of what’s going on in the world of peas and carrots what’s happening in life.

0:00:23 – Kayla
Well, you’ve been doing a lot of cooking lately, which I’m totally here for this. I love when you cook, really, but what have you been making?

0:00:32 – Brian
gumbo Mm-hmm. Red beans rice sausage.

0:00:37 – Kayla
Roasted cabbage.

0:00:38 – Brian
Yeah, I do this fried cabbage stuff with Sausage in it, which is I like that a lot. I grill where you we are actually trying to grill. Longer into the season, longer into the fall and to the winter. So yeah, I do that a good bit. I’m trying to think of what else was that about it? That’s about it. I Like to cook it’s cozy food season for me.

What aggravates me about cooking is I feel and this is just on me, I feel this pressure from myself that when I get home I want to cook instantly, get it done so we can sit down and relax.

0:01:19 – Kayla
But I need to relieve that pressure you do, and sometimes it’s just getting it started so that it can cook for a while, but yeah.

0:01:28 – Brian
Anything with rice. I’m here for. I’m here for anything with rice. So our neighbors Mike and Kim have the most amazing Christmas Inflatables they do and their front and side yard awesome and there’s a huge watt there in the side yard that you’re mumble. You are. If you know who bumble is, he’s from Rudolph the Red Nose reindeer. He’s a, he’s a Yeti, he’s a bigfoot or whatever, and they have this giant and he was sprocket favorite toy.

0:02:01 – Kayla
So it kind of tugged at my heart when I saw him in the yard the other day.

0:02:06 – Brian
So yeah, and if puppy was still around, we could take him over there.

0:02:09 – Kayla
Oh, he’d bark it to death, but yeah so what if he’d attack? It Probably if we got him close enough, but we would not have done that. So, yeah, okay. So I have a question. Okay, is it, once I get home, I’m staying home season for anyone else, or is it just me?

0:02:26 – Brian
I never knew we exited that season. I just thought that was the default setting.

0:02:31 – Kayla
I just mean in the summer it’s more tempting to go back out like well, we’ll go get dessert, or We’ll run to the store, but I am to that point where, nope, I’m home, I’m changing into my pajamas and this is who we are now.

0:02:48 – Brian
You want to tell them what we did last night. Just be honest, all the time we went to bed.

0:02:53 – Kayla
I went to bed at six o’clock. I, yes, I did. We get off work.

0:02:57 – Brian
Proud of myself and so got home.

0:03:00 – Kayla
I was bent.

0:03:01 – Brian
We picked up a little Mexican pickup order and went home and ate and then like bears hibernated. Yeah, I can’t believe. I woke up at 1130, then went back to sleep, yep, and I woke up at 530. Yeah, I just cannot. I slept that long. That kind of scared me a little bit.

0:03:19 – Kayla

0:03:20 – Brian
You’re here for this. I’m so here for this you can sleep that long every night.

0:03:24 – Kayla
No, not really, but I love lazy evenings like that that don’t require anything. So, yeah, it was good.

0:03:31 – Brian
I know people just love lazy.

0:03:34 – Kayla
Oh, that hits different. That’s well okay, it’s another subject for another day.

0:03:38 – Brian
You know we probably should move on from that. Yeah, money, we talked about this in a previous episode. I think it was our last episode. We kind of hinted at this a little bit. Yeah so how do we create a family budget when everything is so expensive? How do we Navigate this?

0:03:58 – Kayla
Yeah, so I I get a lot of questions about this Just because I am kind of a banker type person, but I Want to share with you what works for us, and it comes with this caveat Everyone needs to find a system that works for you, but if you have no system, then you aren’t controlling your money. Your money is controlling you, and so we’re just gonna walk through some of the things that we do. The first step, legit, is how many paychecks do you have coming in each month? For example, we’re paid every other week, so our monthly budget looks like two columns. The first column is for the first checks. The second column on our spreadsheet is for the second checks. You may have to have multiple columns on your spreadsheet if You’re being paid on offsetting weeks and have different like pay structures.

0:04:56 – Brian
What if there’s a third paycheck in a month?

0:04:59 – Kayla
we usually use that to grow our savings, or we will say I will set that aside. That’s usually where our vacation fund comes from, oh, so I try to. Obviously, things like church tithe and groceries still need to come out of that check, but then for everything else there’s no recurring expense. So that’s how I typically grow our savings. Or well, if we have a trip coming up, I’ll put aside a chunk of money for that.

0:05:30 – Brian
All right, very good. So what’s your first step in all this? What are you writing down?

0:05:38 – Kayla
So the first thing, and I prefer an Excel spreadsheet I also have it as a Google Doc so I can share it with you, but it’s private to the two of us.

0:05:49 – Brian
That’s some, that’s just some fascinating reading right down.

0:05:53 – Kayla
Yeah, you don’t ever want to see it. You need to sit down and write down all your static expenses, and what I mean by this is what are your bills that repeat each month? And here’s a trick If the bill amount is going to fluctuate, I Calculate it for 12 months, based on the highest amount that bill ever was so in December of this year, I will sit down and create 12 spreadsheets for next year. Oh, and so our like our electric bill. I will put what the highest amount ever was and multiply that and I put that on all 12, it comes in less.

You got well then we have savings, but the worst thing is to go with what the lowest bill was and Then you come up with a shortfall. So I typically calculate our January or February bill, which is our highest bill coming out of Christmas and winter, because it’s a blasted colder.

Mm-hmm. So that’s one way to keep yourself from getting in a bind. A great idea. So another thing that we do and this is just our preference is a couple we determine what amount is reasonable, what amount do we want to end the year having saved, and that is a line item.

0:07:12 – Brian
Does that ever change?

0:07:13 – Kayla
I mean it. It tends to go up. There is a minimum amount that is transferred twice a month behind the scenes and it goes into our savings account, but often it’s more than that so, and we can circle back to that, but yeah, Okay, why do you assign certain bills to certain checks?

0:07:33 – Brian
Like I find that a little fascinating, like you have written out like this is checks number one.

0:07:38 – Kayla
Well, our mortgage is always due on the first of the month.

0:07:40 – Brian
Yeah, but why do you do so?

0:07:43 – Kayla
because of how the bill falls. It comes out of our first check.

0:07:47 – Brian
Y’all. This is why she keeps this and I don’t yeah.

0:07:50 – Kayla
So if the mortgage is due on December 1st and our first check in November is like November 10th, then I know I have buffer to get the mortgage paid, so it comes out of the first check rather than waiting until the second check, which may end up being too close to the first of the next month. Okay, so basically it was a painful transition, but I made sure that everything is paid one check ahead, which it’s hard to do that If you haven’t already set yourself up that way. It was tight for a couple of months for us, but once we got to that pattern then I’m never panicking oh, something’s doing two days kind of situation.

0:08:35 – Brian
Somebody’s gonna say I don’t have enough money to meet all of my bills, and that is a real problem. So here’s one tip I want to give Okay, that if you have debt, you have this credit card debt, that credit card debt, this. Possibly go to a bank and try and do a consolidation loan to where you can put all those in one and then lower your payment so that you can create a little bit of breathing room. Now, this is the danger Don’t go back out and make more debt and make new debt.

0:09:06 – Kayla
Or there’s the option to pay off the smallest debt and then work towards the largest debt. But you said something very poignant there. At some point you have to stop choosing to make debt, and we’ll talk about that in just a second.

0:09:21 – Brian
You have to start living for tomorrow and not today.

0:09:23 – Kayla
You do so once you’ve assigned out all of your bills. These are your things that are gonna be every month your electric bill, your mortgage, possibly your car note. I even go as far as to list groceries. This is how much we’re gonna spend on groceries. This is how much our internet’s going to cost. This is how much our cell phones cost. This is how much we spend on streaming.

It literally has its own line item that we eliminate any surprises, have a line item for things like birthdays, anniversaries, taxes, christmas. You set yourself up for success if every expense you can imagine has been added to the particular month where it needs to be paid. I know that first week of December every year we have property taxes. Those are budgeted in November every year, so that it doesn’t catch me by surprise If items for us like date night, bookstore hobbies, if those things are important to you, create a line item for them as well. And here’s the thing everything needs to be accounted for Because that way you know that you’re keeping. You’re kind of keeping a control on how much is going out the door.

We even have a coffee budget.

0:10:47 – Brian
We knew some folks at one point in our lives who would actually call the bank and see how much was in the like, how much was in their checking account, and that would determine for them If they could go out to it was like a game of Russian roulette. They were hoping something wouldn’t clear. And my question to them one night was this well, do you have checks written against that amount? They’re like, yeah, but it hasn’t cleared yet and I about died. It was terrifying, yeah.

0:11:13 – Kayla
So there are some conversations you need to have. Decide as a couple what you will do with any surplus. Now you may laugh and say what’s surplus, but if you do once you have plugged in every expense you have, then it’s grown up time. It’s time to sit down and say what is luxury, what is need versus want, and maybe some things do need to scale back for a season. If you’re constantly going over your grocery budget, then maybe you need to look at. Well, for us it would look like giving up coffee. Coffee out is a luxury, it is not a need. I know some people would disagree, but I can make coffee at home much cheaper than I can go through Starbucks.

0:12:00 – Brian
So as a-, but who’s gonna ride on that little cup?

0:12:03 – Kayla
Well, I can do that, Okay, but keep in mind that there are things you may have to relinquish if you’re not meeting your set budget. This is a hard truth to say, and this is where you were talking earlier. We create our own stress we really do when we don’t hold ourselves financially accountable.

0:12:27 – Brian

0:12:28 – Kayla
If every single month spending is exceeding income, you’ve gotta reassess things.

0:12:36 – Brian
You’ve gotta cancel something. You’ve gotta get out of something.

0:12:38 – Kayla
Early in our marriage we learned that for a season we could not have a credit card.

0:12:43 – Brian
It was too tempting.

0:12:45 – Kayla
It was oh well, it’s Friday night and we deserve this. We wanna go out to dinner and it went on a credit card. Well, before you know it, we had credit card debt that we had to deal with. We also learned it saves a whole lot of money to eat at home and we like cooking. So that was a change that we made. There was a point early in our marriage that you and I made the decision. Credit card debt is not debt that we are going to carry beyond the time the bill comes due. Now somebody may be sitting there saying, well, this is all well and good, but I don’t obviously have the kind of disposable income that you do. I get that. I really do get that. When I first started working, did I make like 14,000 a year? Yep, that’s how much I made. Even then, we had a budget that we lived by.

And, yeah, you got paid once a month, so we had to really stretch to make that grocery budget last. It’s being realistic with yourself and the hardest question to ask is what are the things that I feel I deserve versus what our family absolutely needs? In this season and for us that looks like food. Food is always gonna come first.

0:14:03 – Brian

0:14:04 – Kayla
Paying our mortgage, paying our bills, and then, if there is anything extra, then we can look at having fun.

0:14:13 – Brian
I guess what Ms Kayla is saying is that you have to learn to live within your means.

0:14:16 – Kayla

0:14:18 – Brian

0:14:18 – Kayla
Or you are gonna be stressed all the time about money.

0:14:21 – Brian
Yes, you’re gonna be stressed and you’re gonna be strapped. So yeah. These are great little tips, ms Kayla, and thank you for what you do for our little family and how you take care of us. But great little and it’s hard. I mean we’re not gonna sit here and say it’s easy, no, and it’s been a learning curve for us.

0:14:37 – Kayla
I mean, we admitted there are things we had to say no to and there was a season for us where, because we did not have children, we tended to gravitate towards older people because we were more comfortable there. Well, one of the key takeaways is they were more established than we could have ever hoped to be in our early 30s. These are people who were in their 50s. We could not keep up with them and that was okay. We weren’t meant to Be mindful of what expectations you’re putting on yourself based on who do you run with? Because You’re not meant to keep up with the Joneses. You’re meant to keep up with what your checkbook says.

0:15:22 – Brian
Well, something got said there. We’re gonna get to know you a little bit. We’re gonna get to know each other a little bit. We want to kind of let you get to know us just a little bit. So also okay.

0:15:35 – Kayla
These we thought would be some great questions for conversation starters as you know. At your going to holiday parties or your welcoming guests to your home. So we thought we’d make it fun. We’ll have a game of get to know you. But also these are some good questions you could ask if you’re stumped for conversation. So me, what are you most afraid of failure? Oh, I thought you’d say spiders. Failure you Getting lost.

0:16:10 – Brian
Yes, yeah, I see yeah we have lived that a few times.

0:16:14 – Kayla
Yes, I can’t handle when I don’t know where I’m going.

0:16:16 – Brian
So, yeah, failure for me getting getting lost. For you, I’ve got a yeah. I’ve got to figure out how to win. I got to figure out how to have a success out of a situation. What’s the bravest thing you ever did?

0:16:29 – Kayla
Walk into a gym.

0:16:31 – Brian
Wow, going to see a therapist. Mmm bravest thing I ever did. Yeah, Jim would be right up there next to it because I was oh, I was terrified.

0:16:41 – Kayla
I still am, but yeah, I feel like a monkey on a trapeze.

0:16:47 – Brian
Stop it.

0:16:49 – Kayla
If you could only listen to one song for the rest of your life, what would it be?

0:16:54 – Brian
gosh, I don’t know have I have no idea Maybe Vincent by Josh Groban, something like that. It’s probably one of my favorite songs and it’s a song about suicide, where Vincent van Gogh could to take his own life, but just love the melody of it. I love the mess.

0:17:13 – Kayla
Yes, sad it and I’m afraid of that, okay, yeah, I would probably have to choose. This one is hard and I chose the question, but I would probably choose goodness of God by CC Winans.

0:17:25 – Brian
Well, here I am going with Josh. Groban your little morbid, but yeah, let me, let me. Let me switch my answer. I think that probably my or summer win by, like Frank Sinatra.

0:17:36 – Kayla
I could see that, okay, that’s a better choice. I love that song, favorite Christmas movie of all time.

0:17:44 – Brian
National Lampoon’s Christmas vacation. All-time favorite Christmas movie. Love it oh it’s a good one. I love with the scene when he’s in the attic watching the whole movies and he’s got that little turbo.

0:17:58 – Kayla
I love that, yours that was a good one, but I would have to say white Christmas. These are some hard questions, but yeah.

0:18:09 – Brian
I might switch to white Christmas best book you read this year so far.

0:18:14 – Kayla
Yours. Oh, I’m asking you this oh, um, I would have to say Sean and me quest book. I guess I haven’t learned that yet.

0:18:24 – Brian

0:18:25 – Kayla
It was a really impactful book. Give me one takeaway that there are gonna be Events in your life that you may not feel ready for, but just keep navigating them and things will begin to reveal themselves. All right, but be okay with what you don’t know in the season that you’re in.

0:18:48 – Brian
For me how to how to know a person by David Brooks.

0:18:51 – Kayla
Mmm. We talked about that one recently love that book.

0:18:54 – Brian
Yes, loved it.

0:18:56 – Kayla
What is your favorite core memory from traveling?

0:19:00 – Brian
Seeing you hug to Baca Disney World.

0:19:03 – Kayla
That’s too funny, I was gonna say watching you do a meet and greet with Darth Vader at Star Wars.

0:19:09 – Brian
Just uh, mm-hmm loved it, I absolutely loved that I love Chewbacca.

0:19:13 – Kayla
What’s one lesson you are carrying into next year?

0:19:18 – Brian
Life, business leadership doesn’t matter one lesson.

0:19:22 – Kayla
We’re limiting you to one.

0:19:25 – Brian
Be as passionate about the organizations finances as I am about its culture.

0:19:31 – Kayla
Mmm, mmm, that’s a deep one, you didn’t you didn’t know, see that one coming. No, I did not. For me, it’s slow down. Stop going at a frenetic pace all the time and learn to slow down. Be in the moment.

0:19:53 – Brian
Are you a morning person or a night owl?

0:19:55 – Kayla
I’m a permanently exhausted pigeon. I Love early mornings, just because, but you also love a nap, but I love staying up late and watching movies. You’re out by 8 30.

0:20:18 – Brian
So yeah you’re definitely Clock. Somebody better be dead or something better be burning.

0:20:23 – Kayla
There’s that.

0:20:24 – Brian
I’m a morning person.

0:20:26 – Kayla
You are good if.

0:20:27 – Brian
I wake up and it’s 4 30.

0:20:29 – Kayla
You’re ready to have a conversation? Well, I’m usually hiding behind a cup of coffee trying to work on that.

0:20:35 – Brian
but I do love early mornings, I love the quiet, I love the peace.

0:20:39 – Kayla
Mm-hmm. I am a morning person, I’m really particularly love them this time of year, with the Christmas tree lit, just sitting Before daylight. Just sitting with the tree lights, sipping coffee, yeah, doing my devotional. It’s great stuff. If you could learn another language, which would you choose? I?

0:21:01 – Brian
took four years of German, mmm, and I enjoyed it. It’s very difficult. If I could go back, I would also do Latin. Oh, because Latin would allow me to read certain historical books in their original language. I know, I’m just crazy or not?

0:21:20 – Kayla
I wish that I could learn French. We and not sound Crazy. I took four years of Spanish, two in high school, two in college and Spanish just came a whole lot easier to me and with my accent it didn’t sound as crazy as me trying to speak French, but I think French is a beautiful language, so okay, if money was no object, uh-huh, you had all.

0:21:45 – Brian
you had unlimited resources. Where would you travel to?

0:21:49 – Kayla
who? Probably Austria or Ireland.

0:21:54 – Brian
Now hang on. I need to pause here. I just said I would I had four years of German. She’s going to Austria. We are not Nazis, let’s go. No, I did not know, it’s just.

0:22:06 – Kayla
I think it’s beautiful there and I would love I’d love to spend time in that countryside, yeah, Switzerland going back.

0:22:15 – Brian
London, italy, mm-hmm, those, those places I have nothing in me wants to go to Russia or China or Japan. I just don’t have nothing personal maybe Australia, but that flight, oh my gosh. There are snakes and spiders there.

0:22:33 – Kayla
That just bigger than us. Yeah, no, yes, that’s just kind of that just kind of wigs me out.

0:22:37 – Brian
So there you go.

0:22:38 – Kayla
So there you go. There’s some good questions. Feel free to steal some of those if the conversation is stagnant and you’re trying to fill the air at a holiday party.

0:22:49 – Brian
There’s one more conversation starter that that we’d like to give you, and that’s appeasing carrots coffee. That’s right you could be using that at a Christmas party and somebody oh, what’s that about? And then you can talk about the podcast. So, a matter of fact, the first two people to go to our website, we’re going to give you a peas and carrots coffee mug and accompanied with that.

There are peas and carrots stickers in there as well, but you’ll have. That’s how you get the coffee mug and the stickers. You go to our website, look for the trivia button Click that okay, when you get there, you have to answer a question. This week’s question.

0:23:26 – Kayla
If money was no object for you, where would you travel?

0:23:29 – Brian
Okay, so where would you go if you had unlimited resources? Somebody might say, nowhere, I’m staying home, so just so good on you.

0:23:38 – Kayla
Yeah, just go to our website peasandcaredspodcastcom.

0:23:42 – Brian
Click on the trivia button and answer the question.

0:23:44 – Kayla
If money was no object for you, where would you travel?

0:23:48 – Brian
Yeah, answer that question. We’ll send you a pack of stickers and a coffee mug. Thanks for listening this week.

0:23:53 – Kayla
You can search peas and carrots podcast wherever you get your podcast, or visit our website peasandcaredspodcastcom. And when you do, please don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast.

0:24:03 – Brian
You can also follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Just search for the peas and carrots podcast.

0:24:09 – Announcer
For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit  Life’s not perfect, that’s why God gave us friends like Melody and Candy. Check out the Quirks, Bumps, and Bruises Podcast, or search Quirks, Bumps and Bruises wherever you listen to podcasts.




Season 2, Episode 34: Can’t Stress This Enough

Can't Stress This Enough - Episode Description

Join us, Brian and Kayla, as we have a candid discussion about our key principles to effective communication and connection within our marriage. We will show you how you can can genuinely enjoy your spouse and have a healthy marriage built on open-hearted dialogue and listening skills. It takes great intention to prioritize staying plugged in as a couple, so we’ll share ides for doing just that.


Then we embrace our quirks by sharing little things about ourselves that you may find weird, and that’s ok! So, grab a cup of coffee, settle down and enjoy the ride with us as we navigate through these life topics with humor, sincerity, and, of course, our wonderfully weird selves! 

Can't Stress This Enough - Transcript

 0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like peas and carrots the Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch Brian and Kayla Sanders.


0:00:11 – Brian

Welcome to the Peas and Carrots Podcast. I’m Kayla and I’m Brian. Welcome to this week’s edition of bruised and bumps and and uh oh, it’s been a week. So if you want to, let’s just start here. You want to tell everybody about your adventures.


0:00:30 – Kayla

It’s been a rough few days yeah so what? The other day I was literally walking and I turned to answer a question and I walked right into a doorpost and nearly broke my toe. It was swollen and black and for a couple of days. We thought it was broken. I think it’s okay. It’s healing really well. It’s lots of fun colors. But that was embarrassing because it wasn’t even a fun story. I just was walking.


Then and then this morning I took a tumble on the stairs, I missed a step and Boom, the next thing I remember. I’m sliding down like five steps and I hit my hit my behind. Thankfully lots of padding there, but wow, it’s sore so I’m gonna have one mean bruise you can walk and oh, I’ve stretched and I can walk and but thank God for Tylenol and bio freeze and Patted chairs.


0:01:32 – Brian

Let me just go on record, I was not in the house. No, actually.


0:01:35 – Kayla

Nope, you did not push me down the stairs.


0:01:37 – Brian

You had nothing to do with this outside loading our bags into the truck to come to work, because we but it’s just one of those seasons of Life where I need to slow down.


0:01:47 – Kayla

I’m just going at such a frenetic pace all the time that I Was rushing to come down the stairs and I was rushing the other day and walked into a door and yeah. So I don’t even have adventures and like stories for what happened, but Make something up, but I’m gonna have a shiner, so yeah.


0:02:07 – Brian

Well, just remember this. Nobody can see this a shiner cause of where there’s that not going to yes. But, people will say huh, I wonder why she’s sitting like that.


0:02:19 – Kayla

She sits, weight is not distributed. Let’s just put it that way. She’s kind of oddly.


0:02:23 – Brian

Jim, what do you think’s going on with that lady?


0:02:26 – Kayla

So there’s something about December and toilets in our house here we go.


0:02:33 – Brian

So last December we had to replace an emergency a guest bedroom.


0:02:38 – Kayla

It just stopped working.


0:02:39 – Brian

Stopped working yeah and now the toilet in you, in your bedroom, in the master bedroom, where we both sleep by the bathroom attached.


0:02:53 – Kayla

Just need to clarify. We’re a little more classy than that Great place.


0:03:00 – Brian

Happen in five days, but there were a couple of days. We just be sitting there and it’s phantom.


0:03:05 – Kayla

Flushing is what it’s called.


0:03:07 – Brian

It just runs for five seconds, it’ll stop. It’ll run for five seconds and stop, and it happened like once every six hours or so.


0:03:17 – Kayla

So we’re gonna go ahead and get both of our toilets replaced.


0:03:23 – Brian

So yeah, so it’s a thing it’s, and what’s sad is that we can replace both of these for cheaper and replace the one that yeah, we’re not gonna dwell on that. So there’s you go. Well, miss Kayla. This weekend we watched the first installment, the first four episodes of season six of the crown, and the other four will come out in December, yeah, mid-december. Okay, I want to say one thing before we get started.


0:03:48 – Kayla



0:03:50 – Brian

There was a lot of science fiction In the first four episodes of the crown.


0:03:58 – Kayla

Oh, there was definitely some creative license.


0:04:01 – Brian

There was a lot of creative license.


0:04:03 – Kayla

There are things that none of us would have ever known, so I don’t want to spoil it for anyone, but it’s also very emotional Because and I mean this is something you would get from the teasers it is the timeline of when Diana dies in the car crash, and so, yeah, it was more emotional than I thought it would be.


0:04:28 – Brian

Here’s what I want to say. They take the actual events of what happened and they feel in a round it with lots of fiction. And a lot of science fiction. So I mean, I was sitting there researching, going that’s not true, and I was going. How do they even know this happened? How do they even know that that particular conversation ever happened?


0:04:51 – Kayla

Well, they don’t. That’s why I’m saying they took creative license and just saying I’m writing a letter, well you go right in.


0:04:58 – Brian

But overall it was good. It was sad.


0:05:01 – Kayla

Very sad.


0:05:03 – Brian



0:05:04 – Kayla

This was by far the saddest season.


0:05:06 – Brian

So, yeah, I mean, would I recommend it as a show? Yes, as history.


0:05:12 – Kayla

You can fact check it though, yeah, and I recommend fact checking because there are things that no one would ever have known because they died.


0:05:20 – Brian

So, yeah. Stress.


0:05:26 – Kayla

Oh you ever have stress this time of year Never lens to that for anybody fell down the stairs this morning you got any stress. A little stressful yeah.


0:05:35 – Brian

So stress is a given. Some stress is good because it pushes you onward, and we want to say this before we start this segment you’re never going to be stress free.


0:05:48 – Kayla



0:05:50 – Brian

The goal is. The goal is to how to manage it, the goal is to how to endure it.


0:05:54 – Kayla

Yeah. So, with the roles that we both play, with the dynamics that we have navigated. Let’s put it that way We’ve seen our fair share of stress, and so we are no experts in this, but what can we do when stress becomes unhealthy? And so we wanted to share a few things that we have found, and I believe it would be fair to say I think you would agree with me be this year has been a healing year for us.


We have done a lot of intentional things to take care of our health, and one of those is how we view stress. So let’s dive in. We’ll share with you some of the things that we have found, the first one being practice healthy boundaries with people. Not everyone is safe for you and not everyone deserves access, and that is hard to say as a believer and as someone who I love people. Not everyone is healthy for you.


0:07:05 – Brian

Paul even wrote as much as is up to you.


0:07:09 – Kayla



0:07:09 – Brian

Be at peace with everyone, and that phrase as much as it up to you. Yeah, so practice healthy boundaries. Know who’s safe, know who isn’t. Know who brings drama. Know, practice. Know who could bring trauma.


0:07:23 – Kayla

Yeah. Into your life or has or has, and so therefore, you need to react to that.


0:07:29 – Brian

Yes, so, yeah. So one way is to practice healthy boundaries. Yeah, and whenever you start practicing boundaries, I guarantee you that your stress will go up, because people are going to they’re going to push back?


0:07:41 – Kayla

Yeah, but in time. But in time. Be mindful of what you bring into your home. Inward clutter is a sign of inward chaos.


0:07:53 – Brian



0:07:54 – Kayla

You and I are very intentional about what we bring into our home. Yes, we have a lot of nice things, but they have a place or they have a purpose, and I loved what I read recently If you’re not using it, it’s clutter, so give it to someone else who can.


0:08:14 – Brian

I’ve got an original edition of a book about Lincoln that was written a few years after his death but it serves a purpose.


0:08:22 – Kayla

It serves, it brings me joy. Exactly, that’s different, okay.


0:08:27 – Brian

I mean now those different sausage balls you cook. Those are, those are serving a purpose to write. I can’t handle a lot of clutter Now I might throw socks on the floor and forget I put them there.


0:08:41 – Kayla

That’s called messy. That’s not clutter. That’s clarifying.


0:08:46 – Brian

You were quick to respond to that.


0:08:48 – Kayla

I’m just going to say that Okay, but I like for things to be clutter is when you’ve got so much stuff that you, if you even tried to put it all away, you can’t. That’s clutter.


0:09:04 – Brian

is you’ve accumulated, or how do these people on these hoarder TV shows live?


0:09:11 – Kayla

I’d walk in that house and say nope, I’m out. Well, that’s because you’re healthy. They’re not in a healthy place.


0:09:17 – Brian

Well, you’re a lot more sympathetic toward them than I am. Okay, be realistic about what we say yes to. Okay, we probably say no to too much.


0:09:28 – Kayla

Sometimes, Sometimes.


0:09:31 – Brian

But yeah, be careful about what you say yes to and be realistic about it. Don’t overbook yourself, don’t stress yourself so thin all the time. Give yourself some margin. Give yourself some evenings at home, give yourself quiet mornings.


0:09:47 – Kayla

There’s nothing worse than a resentful yes. If you’re doing something just because you feel obligated rather than because you’re enjoying it, you’re on fire Now, sorry jury duty, that’s a resentful yes. I’ve done that before.


0:10:04 – Brian

You’re on fire with the truth. Ism today Nothing? Worse than a resentful yes man.


0:10:10 – Kayla

Well, the next one’s a zinger, and we’re actually going to talk about this on our next podcast.


0:10:15 – Brian

Oh money.


0:10:16 – Kayla

Design and follow a family budget. Most stress between couples comes because of money.


0:10:25 – Brian

We are not traditional. I believe that you should let the person who has the giftings use their giftings Most, I don’t want to say most. There is a percentage within Christianity that says men should handle the money, that it’s their job, that’s how they lead the home. I don’t think that’s how you lead the home. I think you actually lead the home and being kind and loving and showing that example. But whoever has that gift, let them handle the budget.


0:10:59 – Kayla

It doesn’t mean I have power.


0:11:02 – Brian

There isn’t a veto.


0:11:03 – Kayla

No, it means that I design our monthly budget and then you and I discuss it and you have say in what may need to shift or how we’re going to allocate funds, but you’re terrified when it comes to actually having to, like deal with the day to day.


0:11:24 – Brian

I’m not, yeah, I can’t. I mean.


0:11:26 – Kayla

So let’s here’s a fun one. Enjoy hobbies.


0:11:31 – Brian

I love to read.


0:11:33 – Kayla

I love to garden, we love to walk. We’ll go walk at the pond, I love walking.


0:11:41 – Brian

I used to play golf a lot. I don’t know anymore because of arthritis, but I want to try to get back into that. I like to fish. I don’t do that a whole lot anymore. It’s kind of expensive. I mean, I’m just cheap. Golf is expensive. Some old books are expensive and I’m like shut up. So oh, all right.


0:11:59 – Kayla

Well, that escalated quickly.


0:12:00 – Brian

Enjoy your hobbies. I like going out on dates with you I’m not sure I’m not. That’s not a hobby but it’s but do things that you enjoy. So I like Godzilla movies. All right, let’s see here. Get enough sleep, that’s a. That’s one.


0:12:17 – Kayla

It’s a big one.


0:12:18 – Brian

Yeah, exercise.


0:12:20 – Kayla

We have found that to be surprisingly helpful.


0:12:23 – Brian

Yes, it. For some reason it helps me work out a lot of my stress and a lot of the things that I worry about. So for me that helps.


0:12:36 – Kayla

Eat healthy. Well you knew it was coming right. I’ve alluded to this before for me controlling how much sugar and you’ve actually seen this in real time with me If I have had too much sugar, I’m anxious, I’m short tempered. It’s just being aware of what fuel your body needs.


0:13:02 – Brian

Something else happens to you as well.


0:13:04 – Kayla

Well, that’s, that’s not important.


0:13:07 – Speaker 1



0:13:09 – Kayla

I have a power surge.


0:13:11 – Brian

And I get wrapped up in a blanket, becomes 50 degrees.


0:13:19 – Kayla

That’s what I know. I’ve had too much sugar these plastic plants in the house have got frostbite, okay, so so, for lack of a better term, this next one I called mindful meditation, but I want you to take a couple of minutes and explain this one and how this one has been something you have Sat with this year.


0:13:37 – Brian

There’s been a lot of healing this year. There’s a lot more that has to be done, working with my therapist and all this other kind of stuff. For the first time in 45 I’m trying not to get emotional and Years, y’all years I can sit in a room and Be quiet and the quiet doesn’t scare you and the quiet doesn’t scare me.


There was always so much noise in my head, so much stuff, and I hope that makes sense. I’m done now. Look, there weren’t voices, there was noise, there was so much going on Dialogue and in our voices, inner I can enter tape. Going on. I’m now able to sit in a room without any music, without any TV.


0:14:25 – Kayla

Yeah. And just enjoy the that’s when I noticed the shift is, you would often turn the news on just to have noise in the house.


0:14:33 – Brian

Yeah, you don’t anymore so I think that’s amazing and scares me a little bit. Like who am I? What’s going on here?


0:14:41 – Kayla

and perhaps the most important. For those of you who have a faith journey, you will understand this, but for all of us, we would encourage pursuing Jesus. Yes scripture can give peace and guidance unlike Anything else, and we would be remiss if we did not share that. I have found myself gravitating towards the Psalms many times in hard seasons of life and just feeling radically different from sitting with scripture or just prayer and Seasons of stress.


0:15:16 – Brian

I would also encourage you to trust in the sovereignty of God. Hmm the same thing about pursuing Jesus. Trust him. There is not a single Adam spinning in anywhere. That’s outside of his control. So, whatever you’re walking through, whatever you’re going through, he’s got a purpose, he’s got a plan. It even could be painful, he’s got a purpose, he’s got a plan, but he loves you and he cares for you. So those are some of our tips on yeah, handle stress. All right, you chose this topic.


0:15:52 – Kayla

I Did, and it’s going to be a little bit of a mixed bag, but it’s gonna be a lot of good. I don’t want to dwell on the side of this, but I labeled this a tribute to a complicated relationship and if any of you have one, I Just want to speak some life to you. This week is the nine-year anniversary of my dad passing away. We lost him early in life Due to some complications with Parkinson’s disease. He was not a perfect man, but he was a great man. Those two things can coexist. Yes, he wrestled his own demons. It’s not my story to tell, so I will not Share everything that he struggled with, but there were consequences to it. My parents divorced when I was young, but he stayed in her life and there were a lot of good things that came from having a relationship with him. When I was in college, he wrote to me every single week.


0:16:59 – Brian



0:17:00 – Kayla

I got a letter from him. He worked as an office manager for a construction crew and he would send me pictures from the various sites and there was a pig.


0:17:10 – Brian

You carry a briefcase.


0:17:12 – Kayla



0:17:13 – Brian

There was a pig.


0:17:14 – Kayla

There was a pig that he named and fed apples, there were horses, there were donkeys, there were cows, and I got pictures of all of this. Like every week. I would get this new picture for whatever site they were on, and he would just write to me about everything and nothing, and we stayed in touch through most of my college years. He taught me the value of roots, putting down roots with family and wearing your last name. Well, your last name is what you have to be proud of. I was always very proud to be a Kent and he instilled that in me. This is where you come in. He had an amazing spirit of adventure. He loved traveling. He took us to Scotland.


0:18:05 – Brian

He took us to Scotland and we’re driving around Loch Ness.


0:18:10 – Kayla

He so wanted you to go around the whole lot.


0:18:13 – Brian

Yeah, just to go around the whole thing.


0:18:15 – Kayla

But you were struggling with jet lag.


0:18:17 – Brian

that day I was struggling with jet lag and I was struggling to stay awake and I would fade off and he’d go look, there’s Nessie. And I’d wake up looking because I wanted to see the Loch Ness monster and he’d just start laughing. Oh, he’d just start laughing. And another great thing is that we were coming back from that excursion. We’d been out for like three or four days with them up in Scotland and we were driving back and the windshield wipers went out.


0:18:43 – Kayla

Just stopped working.


0:18:44 – Brian

It’s pouring right and so we pulled over the side to this hotel or something and he ordered high tea. Yeah, and we’re all sitting there in this. I remember it was a glass walled room looking outside and we had tea and these little sandwiches.


0:19:04 – Kayla



0:19:05 – Brian

And cookies, I think, were on there, or, as y’all call them, biscuits, biscuits and we had that and it was. I remember we had lunch with him and his wife at the time, her name was Carol. We were in Edinburgh and we were sitting on the grass on a blanket and we had lunch and up above us is the castle is the Edinburgh castle, and that was a great memory. I mean, I have. I loved him. He was great. I remember when we got the internet at home this ages us and they had America online. We had America online and you could video chat, but he couldn’t get the audio to work, so he went and got puppets you remember this and he would role play out things for you on the video. It was hilarious.


0:19:56 – Kayla

Yeah, I don’t know why he had these little puppets. Maybe from room with your kids, I don’t know. You also taught him something. You went through a phase where if I was saying something and it was slightly irritating to you or you didn’t want to hear it, you felt like maybe I was nagging. You would look at me and say love you, kayla.


0:20:16 – Brian

I love you, Kayla.


0:20:17 – Kayla

And he would get so tickled by that, and so he started emulating that with his wife. He’d say I love you, Carol. In other words, be quiet. I’ve heard enough.


0:20:27 – Brian

I’ve heard enough.


0:20:29 – Kayla

But yes.


0:20:30 – Brian

And Kayla, I want to tell you this he loved you. You were the apple of his eye. He adored you, darling.


0:20:36 – Kayla

He loved you too. I think one of the grandest moments was getting to introduce my husband to my dad and watch the two of you, and you just fit together like a glove. You had the same sense of humor, you liked the same things, and so traveling with him was a delight. Spending time with him, it was very, very hard. The last time I said goodbye, because some part of me knew this is the last time, but I will remember him as someone who. He loved life and he lived it full on, and so, yes, there are hard memories as a young child, there are things that I should not have had to remember, but I remember him as this giant.


0:21:35 – Brian

Cling to the good.


0:21:37 – Kayla

So, yes, I would tell you, take the good with the bad and just focus on the things that made you smile, the things that gifted you sweet memories and maybe, if possible, if the trauma isn’t too deep, forgive and give grace, because the older I get, the more I realize I have my own imperfections, they are different from his, but nobody’s going to look back and say, well, she was perfect. But they are going to look back and hopefully have some fun stories. So as I remember him, I do so with both sadness and delight.


0:22:24 – Brian

Well, here we are all up in here crying around. So, excuse us, we got to take a moment, get ourselves together here. But anyway, miss him and yes. I’m thankful for him. So just so, just know that. All right, hey, so while we’re up here snotting around, you can go to our website.


0:22:47 – Kayla

You can win a peas and carrots coffee mug and it comes with the most adorable stickers. Go to our website, look for the trivia button, click that.


0:22:57 – Brian

And our website is peasandcaratspodcastcom. That’s peasandcaratspodcastcom. Click the trivia question. Click the trivia button and this week’s trivia question is let’s see. What will we be replacing very soon in our home?


0:23:15 – Kayla

There we go.


0:23:17 – Brian

What will we be replacing very soon in our home?


0:23:21 – Kayla

So again, go to the peasandcaratspodcastcom, click that trivia button and answer that question. You can search peas and carrots podcast wherever you get your podcast, or visit our website peasandcaratspodcastcom. And when you do, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast.


0:23:36 – Brian

You can also follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Just search for the peas and carrots podcast. How’s your, how you feeling? How’s your bum?


0:23:44 – Kayla

It’s doing okay, just sitting here.


0:23:47 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit Growing through the challenges we face and finding hope along the way. That’s the Jesus Fix it podcast with Jess. Check out or search Jesus Fix It wherever you listen to podcasts.




Season 2, Episode 33: Does This Make Us Weird?

Does This Make Us Weird? - Episode Description

Join us, Brian and Kayla, as we have a candid discussion about our key principles to effective communication and connection within our marriage. We will show you how you can can genuinely enjoy your spouse and have a healthy marriage built on open-hearted dialogue and listening skills. It takes great intention to prioritize staying plugged in as a couple, so we’ll share ides for doing just that.


Then we embrace our quirks by sharing little things about ourselves that you may find weird, and that’s ok! So, grab a cup of coffee, settle down and enjoy the ride with us as we navigate through these life topics with humor, sincerity, and, of course, our wonderfully weird selves! 

Does This Make Us Weird? - Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like peas and carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch Brian and Kayla Sanders.


0:00:11 – Brian

Welcome to the Peas and Carrots Podcast. Hello, I’m Brian, I’m Kayla and welcome to this week’s edition of what’s going on and like our little vegetable patch.


0:00:23 – Kayla

There are two Christmas trees to fully decorated and I hear there could be more and there may be a third.


0:00:30 – Brian

I’m all in this year. There’s one downstairs in the den. It’s seven and a half foot tree.


0:00:35 – Kayla

It’s big yeah. And then there’s a little three foot tree on our end table upstairs.


0:00:42 – Brian

That’s my favorite.


0:00:44 – Kayla

It’s just so soothing to turn on the Christmas lights, drink coffee, sip tea. You’ll play a little Christmas music.


0:00:53 – Brian

I love it. So yeah, even though our Amazon device can’t Figure out, jacked up, she’s yeah, play Avalon’s Christmas album and she goes to some French. Yeah, I’m like that’s not what I’m after, it’s a little frustrating. So, miss Kayla, we’re going on a trip.


0:01:13 – Kayla

We are. We will soon board a plane for the first time in four years.


0:01:20 – Brian

You excited.


0:01:21 – Kayla

I am excited. You nervous a little bit Okay so all the things, but I know it’s good, so yeah.


0:01:29 – Brian

I’m excited we hadn’t been on a plane in four years. We have. Go through the Atlanta airport and.


0:01:36 – Kayla

I love Atlanta airport. I know some people don’t, I just do so.


0:01:42 – Brian

All the little shops.


0:01:43 – Kayla

No, it’s just, I think, because, being from England, every time we would fly we would come in through Atlanta and I just I know the airport really well. I’m comfortable there. Don’t at me, charlotte airport makes me crazy.


0:02:01 – Brian

I think I’ve done that twice To get from here to there.


0:02:05 – Kayla

It’s crazy.


0:02:06 – Brian

So yeah, I remember one time we had to run across the airport literally yeah. I could. I skipped my little heart exam that year that was nuts. So, and finally, from our home to yours, yes, we want to wish you a very happy Thanksgiving.


0:02:25 – Kayla

Yeah, so this episode will actually drop Next week. We’re recording a week ahead and from us to you, thank you for joining us here, for engaging with us, for laughing along, for listening, for commenting. It is delightful getting to know some of you. We’ve had some great emails and text messages, phone calls, so we look forward to continuing to do life from our little vegetable patch, as we call it.


0:02:56 – Brian

So take a few moments and watch the parade and eat some turkey, have some stuff.


0:03:02 – Kayla

Yes, take a nap.


0:03:03 – Brian

Mashed potatoes. Yeah, that’s one of your favorite. That’s about your favorite thing on the table.


0:03:08 – Kayla

Just give me a roll and a big bowl of mashed potatoes and I’m good, warm out of the oven roll and then that sweet potato thing you make. Oh yes, sweet potato casserole.


0:03:23 – Brian

Yeah, yeah.


0:03:25 – Kayla

Anyway, before we get stuck, here, put nuts on it.


0:03:28 – Brian

This, not this year, oh kill me. Oh, there’s that. But happy Thanksgiving. Yes, home to yours. We have talked a lot about how we communicate as a couple. Mm-hmm and how we talk about everything, and so we thought it would be good If we slowed down and we dove into that a little bit deep.


0:03:53 – Kayla

It’s one of the things we get the most questions about. You and I get the privilege of mentoring younger couples. We also have some friends who’ve asked how in the world do you to communicate as much as you do? Now we may have an unfair advantage that we do work together. Yep, so we spend every single day together. We get to see each other a couple of times a day, but this is something that it seems to be the the real curiosity of a lot of people. So, yeah, we’re going to share with you how we call them our core tenants of communication.


0:04:37 – Brian

Let me set this up for you real quick, for those friends listening. We are not saying that Brian and Kayla do not argue. We’re not saying that we never disagree. We’re not saying that we don’t. And we’re not saying we’re perfect at this In any way, shape or form, but we are saying that having healthy communication, in my opinion, makes for a better relationship. Okay, yeah, so this isn’t on our on our list, but I want to say this you genuinely need to enjoy the person who you’re married to.


0:05:14 – Kayla



0:05:15 – Brian

What I mean by that, and I even told you this yesterday I enjoy doing stuff with you, I enjoy going places, I enjoy being with you, I enjoy listening to you, I enjoy talking with you. That’s a big part of this. It isn’t enough just to love the person.


0:05:35 – Kayla

You’re not business partners. No, you are your life partner. Your life partners and you genuinely are my best friend when I think of something that I want to do or say, or you’re typically involved in it.


0:05:52 – Brian

So Same.


0:05:54 – Kayla

So, with that frame of reference, we just want to share a few things that we have found that hopefully will be helpful to you. So the first one is resist the urge to proclaim Well, we simply don’t have time or energy for that. We’ve been there. There was a season of life where B you would leave on Sunday afternoon or Monday morning on the Red Eye flight.


0:06:17 – Brian

Fly to Atlanta.


0:06:19 – Kayla

You would do Atlanta for the week and come home on Friday night or Saturday morning and be home for a week gone for a week, home for a week, gone for a week. We did that for about a year. We still found ways to make communication a priority. It takes great intention to stay plugged in as a couple and that needs to be a priority.


You need to be, and it may look like you have to talk after the kids go to bed or get up earlier in the morning and I know I can almost sense the eye roll, but it’s that important that you find ways to be on the same page.


0:06:56 – Brian

There are guys out there listening right now. There are men listening right now who, every day, you make notes in your phone as to things that you need to accomplish tomorrow. There’s a trick as things happen in your day, why not write them down so that when you get home, you have a few things on that list that you can tell your wife about, so that whenever she asks you how was work, you don’t just say, no, it was all right, it’s all right. You actually have a list of things. In other words, prioritize that relationship the same way you would do your work. In other words, be intentional about planning a conversation with your wife or with your husband. I mean, it doesn’t take that much for me. I just sit there and I walk through my day with you. I met with this person and we had this conversation.


0:07:48 – Kayla

Or you share a funny story and vice versa.


0:07:51 – Brian

Yeah, something like that. So be intentional about that. For me, that’s what I mean by intentional Plan your conversation.


0:07:59 – Kayla



0:08:00 – Brian

So, secondly, there are no secrets. We talk about everything.


0:08:06 – Kayla

We do.


0:08:06 – Brian

Yeah, and sometimes that’s great. Sometimes it gets heated, but when it does get heated it’s fine too. We know, with that we don’t have to agree on every single topic, okay, but when it comes to a public face, yeah, you’re not going to find us divided. No, let me say that. No, but we do talk about Ever but we don’t hide things from each other.


0:08:33 – Kayla

No, that makes me nervous which lends to the next one. This is a big deal for us and this may make us sound like pilgrims, but I don’t care. We avoid private conversations with people of the opposite gender, and let me explain this. There are multiple times throughout the week that someone may initiate a private conversation with me or with you. If it’s not a business Conversation, we will loop the other person in. I have added you to a texting thread and you’ve added me to a texting thread multiple times. Something can begin so innocently but lend to an intimacy that should not exist.


Let me say that again. Something so innocent Can lend to an intimacy that should not exist. There is certain conversation that should only be happening Between you and your partner. Something should not be shared with other people.


0:09:40 – Brian

I agree, I’ve looped you in on text and whenever there’s somebody of opposite sex who texted me, I’ll show you what’s going on. It isn’t that we don’t trust each other, it’s that builds.


0:09:51 – Kayla

It’s guardrails, guardrails.


0:09:53 – Brian

The next one is something that I fell at daily Tone matters.


0:09:59 – Kayla

You’re being nice, I’m the one that probably struggles with this more.


0:10:02 – Brian

I struggle with this.


0:10:03 – Kayla

Don’t how you say, it is just as important as what you say true. So yeah tone.


0:10:09 – Brian

So watch it, and for me, I just don’t think about it. Yeah and that can often lead to things. I have to apologize.


0:10:16 – Kayla

So what if? What if a person comes to us and we do get this question and they say well, my gosh, what? What do you talk to each other about daily? What do you ask each other? Well, don’t you live life? I will ask don’t you have thought? But get beyond the Surface, so dear. How was your day? How’s your heart?


0:10:36 – Brian

What are you struggling with?


0:10:37 – Kayla

What are you struggling with?


0:10:39 – Brian

What are you celebrating?


0:10:40 – Kayla

Yeah, what did you do today that made you happy? Those are what frustrated you today, so just go deeper, ask questions that are gonna force more than a yes or no response.


0:10:54 – Brian

What we call. Those are open-ended questions. Yeah so avoid making your spouse read your mind Be clear never done this be clear, kind, honest and open with your communication. A healthy marriage is built upon braving hard topics, opening your mind and heart and facing Confrontation and being a good listener.


0:11:17 – Kayla

That’s a lot, but I mean it just is yeah.


0:11:20 – Brian

So this is the big thing. Don’t try and read their mind, don’t assume what they’re thinking. Ask, yeah, and often this is something that cracks me up KSA, be what. You thinking about nothing, and this has been Conversation between us for 30 years, and it’s true. How do you think about nothing that well?


0:11:40 – Kayla

women all over the world Can’t comprehend.


0:11:44 – Brian

I don’t understand that.


0:11:45 – Kayla

How can y’all not just and that’s another podcast topic for another day. But I want to go back to something you said here. This is not just about Sharing the highs of the day. Sometimes it’s the lows and sometimes it’s the frustrations, even with each other. And something that I think breaks down communication is people are avoiding confrontation. As a couple, you have to be comfortable with having hard conversations and Sometimes that is gonna look like well, what you opened with you may have a little fight and Hopefully you fight fair. So yeah, which lends to this Listen to understand, don’t always listen to respond.


Yeah, don’t always be forming your next thought because, because we’re listening.


0:12:38 – Brian

How do I respond to that? How do I answer that question? Listen to what they’re saying. In other words, yeah, oftentimes repeat back to that person what they’re saying and say and say are you saying this?


0:12:51 – Kayla

Mm-hmm, so that you can grasp it and then you have a few more, just a couple of Be agreeable.


0:12:57 – Brian

Yeah, be agreeable. Yes, don’t be somebody who just sucks on lemons all day and you’re just Salivary or you’re spoiling for a fight.


0:13:06 – Kayla



0:13:07 – Brian

I mean, everybody gets up every now and then, like you know, I could whip the empire today. Don’t do that you know, don’t be kind At the end. Be on the same page. Here’s what I mean by that. You don’t have to agree about it. Now, I do think that you should agree about spending money, yes, and that kind of stuff and communication, but there might be specific topics.


0:13:32 – Kayla

We have friends who they’re at different ends of the spectrum politically, socially but at the end of the day, they’ve learned to have healthy conversation about it.


0:13:41 – Brian

Yes, so find a way to be on the same page and then discuss it. Yeah, I’m gonna go back to this point. Enjoy the person you’re married to. Yes, enjoy the conversations.


0:13:56 – Kayla

Because then you’ll delight in it.


0:14:01 – Brian

Are we weird? A little bit, a little bit, are you drowning over there?


0:14:08 – Kayla

Sorry, as I choke myself. So we have few questions. Okay, well, more thoughts. But the question is Do these things make us weird and are you weird too? And if you are weird, welcome to our weirdness.


0:14:25 – Brian

So yeah, first, we watch less than five hours of TV a week.


0:14:31 – Kayla

We are readers.


0:14:32 – Brian

Does that make us weird?


0:14:34 – Kayla

Maybe, but I’m good with it.


0:14:35 – Brian

I mean sometimes the TV doesn’t like you turn on the Christmas tree.


0:14:39 – Kayla

Yeah because our Christmas tree is already up and You’ll or we’ll just we’ll have music playing in the background, or or just silence and we’ll just read.


0:14:48 – Brian

So yeah, does that make us weird?


0:14:50 – Kayla

We rarely eat out, and this is for two reasons. One, because, with your allergies, it’s scary, but also we like being at home and we like cooking and so yeah, so does that make us weird? We’re not big on takeout or or Picking up dinner yeah, oh. Okay, so this one I admit this nothing personal we will remember a dog’s name quicker than a human’s name. I’m sorry, love, y’all mean it, but if you have a dog, we’re gonna remember them a whole lot faster.


0:15:30 – Brian

I follow more pet pages on Instagram.


0:15:33 – Kayla

Oh, me too yeah.


0:15:35 – Brian

I mean yes, so I can like we were taught. There’s this one little guy on Instagram. His name’s Radar.


0:15:41 – Kayla

Oh, it’s so good.


0:15:42 – Brian

And he feeds him a snack.


0:15:43 – Kayla

He’s feeding him snacks from his, like a brother’s name. I don’t know his owner’s name, I know in that and he’s on there every day.


0:15:50 – Brian

Yep, but I can’t remember his name, but I remember the dog’s name. So yeah, that’s us. We don’t sleep well if the house is above 60 degrees.


0:15:59 – Kayla

Can’t handle it. Does that make us weird? Makes us frozen, but Maybe not weird let it go. And a fan.


0:16:10 – Brian

We have to have a fan on yeah. So we actually like the room to be cold, but we like to have the blankets, I mean oh, we got a bundle of blankets, but yeah, there’s nothing like being buried under six blankets. But then when we get up the morning we’re like your toes have frostbite.


0:16:26 – Kayla

Yeah yeah, cuz see, this is a key part of this equation. You’re under six blankets, but one foot has to be hanging out so that like regulates the temperature. Does anybody else do that? Is that weird?


0:16:38 – Brian

though I think we’re weird. We’re weird. We actually talk to each other. Yeah, we don’t ignore each other, we don’t. We actually tell each other what we’re thinking, how our hearts are, what’s going through our minds. So we is that make us weird? Maybe, I don’t know.


0:16:55 – Kayla

We stick together and we love spending time together. We do yeah we do, we like going people find it weird that you actually Enjoy going shopping with me. I enjoy Going places with you. Now, that doesn’t mean that you don’t have guy friends and it doesn’t mean that I don’t have other friends, but we enjoy you spending time together and we’ve been teased for that before, but Right do y’all ever go places separately? Rarely.


0:17:27 – Brian

Rarely. Wow, you got a problem with that. You wanna fight? No, I’m kidding. If we do watch television, it’s often our favorite show, is it’s not new stuff?


0:17:39 – Kayla

And we’ll watch them over and over again.


0:17:42 – Brian

The West Wing.


0:17:43 – Kayla

We have like summer TV viewing, fall TV viewing, winter TV viewing.


0:17:49 – Brian

The West Wing.


0:17:50 – Kayla

We watch the West Wing every winter.


0:17:52 – Brian

Gilmore Girls. Every fall Yellowstone.


0:17:58 – Kayla

That’s probably falls in the summer, yeah.


0:18:01 – Brian

Let’s see here what else. I watched the Star Wars movies over and over again.


0:18:05 – Kayla

Yeah, I watched Harry Potter over and over again, as if that’s on TV. Sorry, we just lost some mail, but no, but Just being honest.


0:18:14 – Brian

I like Harry Potter, but he’s on every weekend.


0:18:18 – Kayla

Moving on. Finally, we will have impromptu dance sessions. We will. You’ll turn on Frank Sinatra, I’ll be cooking dinner and we’ll just have like a little impromptu dance session while dinner cooks Does that make us weird. I’m sure our neighbors are getting kick out of it.


0:18:37 – Brian

Yeah, I’m wondering if our neighbors like and came behind us watch us like.


0:18:40 – Kayla

But no so.


0:18:42 – Brian

There you go.


0:18:43 – Kayla

What makes you weird, and weird is wonderful, so let’s end with that. Just because it may seem weird to the rest of the world. What is wonderfully weird about?


0:18:54 – Brian

you. After 30 years of marriage, we still hold hands.


0:18:58 – Kayla

We do.


0:18:59 – Brian

We still kiss every day when we leave it, when we depart to go to our offices and that kind of stuff.


0:19:04 – Kayla

Anyway, before we make this awkward for people, that’s our list of what makes us weird. What?


0:19:09 – Brian

makes us weird. So there you go. Hey, we’d like to send you a coffee mug and a pack of stickers. We would, and Miss Kayla loves the stickers.


0:19:18 – Kayla

Y’all come on. They’re just the cutest and they’ll look so good on your water bottles and your laptops and your journals. Yeah, your kids will enjoy them.


0:19:30 – Brian

You’re a sticker fan. I love stickers yeah well.


0:19:33 – Kayla

Yeah, go to our website peasandcarrotspodcastcom. Look for the trivia button, click that. And our question for you what is one wonderfully weird thing about you?


0:19:45 – Brian

Okay, Please don’t say that you’re missing like three toes, like that’s not what we’re talking about.


0:19:51 – Kayla

okay, well, I mean, if that’s what they need to get off their chest. Let them do it, but yeah, so go to our website, which is I’m gonna get some interesting answers.


0:20:02 – Brian

Go ahead.


0:20:04 – Kayla

What’s our website?


0:20:07 – Brian



0:20:10 – Kayla

And answer that question how you got it. You can also search peasandcarrots podcast. Wherever you get your podcasts, or visit our website peasandcarrotspodcastcom. When you do, please don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast.


0:20:23 – Brian

Okay, you can also follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Just search for the peasandcarrots podcast. Somebody’s gonna be offended that I said three toes.


0:20:31 – Kayla

No, somebody’s gonna respond. Well, there’s probably better.


0:20:34 – Announcer

For more about the peas and carrots podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcastcom. Laughter with good friends, no matter how bumpy the road gets. That’s what’s waiting for you with every episode of another great podcast Quirks, Bumps and Bruises with Melody and Candy. Subscribe today, wherever you listen.



Season 2, Episode 32: Hard Pass

Hard Pass - Episode Description

As the holiday season rolls in, we find ourselves reflecting on connections – not just with loved ones, but with the society around us. Drawing inspiration from David Brooks’ insightful book, ‘How to See a Person’, we explore the emotional and spiritual crisis that has left our society disjointed, and ponder how we can rise above it. We also discuss the art of being a ‘loud listener’ and the need for kindness, generosity, and decency in our interactions amid our increasingly isolated lives.


Then we touch on how to navigate the whirlwind of holiday festivities without losing sight of the joy they should bring. Give yourself permission to take a hard pass on things that would be burdensome, and permission to indulge in things that bring you joy! You have the freedom to create the Thanksgiving and Christmas experience that would bless you and your family the most.

Hard Pass - Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like peas and carrots! The Peas & Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch with Brian and Kayla Sanders.

0:00:11 – Kayla

Welcome to the peas and carrots podcast.

0:00:13 – Brian

I’m Brian and I’m Kayla. Good to have you along for the ride this week. So what’s up in the world of peas and carrots?

0:00:21 – Kayla

How much candy did we give out last Tuesday night?

0:00:27 – Brian

I don’t know the number of bags. I do know that a neighbor counted and we had over 270 kids come by our house, yeah, and Each kid got in like an hour and a half and we gave out two to three pieces of candy per child Per kid, so there’s a lot of candy.

0:00:47 – Kayla

We didn’t see a lot of scary costumes this year, which I’m happy, I’m glad there were a lot of really fun and this was the cool part there were a lot of family costumes. The parents dressed up with their kids and it was really cute.

0:01:01 – Brian

So and then we had a very special guest in our house last week my best friend came to visit for a few days staying and he was with us and he was out there helping us pass out candy Mm-hmm, and we got so tickled at so many things we took him to the Blue Ridge Parkway.

0:01:21 – Kayla

This has been your best friend for the last, I’d say, 35 years, so there was a lot of rich stories that you two could share with each other. I will also say this I would like to publicly apologize to Stan, because we went from a weekend temperature of 78 To the high on Wednesday. I think was 39 and he lives in Florida, so it was really cold. He was here.

I felt very sorry for him he enjoyed the quiet while he was here he did and we just we had such a fun visit and we wanted to cram so much into three days and show him so much.

0:02:00 – Brian

As you know, I have certain food restrictions, so like I can’t eat certain things, well, we took him out to eat every night, and so one night we went to our favorite restaurant here in the area. It’s called the River Company. Mm-hmm, they had bread pudding with vanilla ice cream on it. Well, miss Kayla gets some and Stan gets some.

0:02:20 – Kayla


0:02:21 – Brian

When we got home we were all sitting upstairs in the living room just sitting there talking and I look over at him we may have had a little sugarcone. He is spread out in that chair and he’s got his little hands on his stomach. I look over at you. You’re on the sofa your heads laid back, and you two are like an inch away from being. Your tummies were full. We were so happy and that bread pudding had like coated your stomach. Oh yeah, and it was apparently.

0:02:48 – Kayla

You said it was warm it had just come out of the oven, so it was just warm and the ice cream was melting, oh yeah it was this blurge Mm-hmm. Back on track now, but it was worth every minute, so yeah breaking news.

0:03:06 – Brian

Breaking news headline miss Kayla, you have an.

0:03:10 – Kayla

Unpopular opinion okay, everybody I think me and one other person in the entire world feels this way. I Stinking love this time change, why I just I do. It gives me permission For cozy, warm evenings at home. I just, I enjoy Everything about it. I sleep better. I get it. For those of you that suffer in all seriousness, for those of you that suffer with seasonal effective disorder, I understand why time change is hard, because it is dark by 5 30, but I just I feel like I’m in my element with it’s just and and. Everywhere I turn this week, I feel like it’s a closet thing that I need to keep to myself, because people are losing their minds.

0:04:00 – Brian

I want to give you a glimpse into Brian and Kayla’s home. Like she’ll get on Instagram and she’ll be scrolling on there. She’ll see somebody grabbing about the time change and this is what I hear from across the room Shut up, I love this. I, I’m so scroll. I’m like I didn’t say anything I ain’t talking to you. I’m talking to these people on Instagram, I’m like well, there’s so much griping about it.

0:04:22 – Kayla

Can I say something to?

0:04:23 – Brian

you. Those people on Instagram can’t hear you, I know, and.

0:04:27 – Kayla

I haven’t said that. I’ve said hush. The others a little harsh, so Just clarifying. I usually say, oh, just hush. That’s, that’s my thing to say. I confess I’ve said it a few times, but there’s just so much negative about it. Well, I gotta give a vote to time change.

0:04:47 – Brian

So I also like that you get it.

0:04:49 – Kayla

We got an extra hour sleep that particular we did so and it was my bi-annual torment, you with the clocks at the house.

0:04:57 – Brian

So, because I like to reset the right to guess what time she reset the clocks at our house.

0:05:05 – Kayla

Oh, what like 9 am. Yeah, it was crazy, I’m sitting there going?

0:05:08 – Brian

what time is it really?

0:05:09 – Kayla

Yeah, I’m so, I just told you to hold your iPhone all day.

0:05:12 – Brian

I was trying to watch a TV program. I’m looking at the clock, I’m like I don’t think it’s on yet. And then I scrolled and like, well, they must change your time. And I said, baby, I think something’s wrong with the television. And you said no, I switched all the clocks. I’m it’s 9 o’clock in the morning.

0:05:29 – Kayla

I just felt like getting it done.

0:05:30 – Brian

You are very efficient if you’re not anything.

0:05:32 – Kayla

I just like getting it done, so, yeah, all right.

0:05:35 – Brian

Well, happy time change to you.

0:05:40 – Kayla

You’ve been reading a book that has sparked some really interesting discussions at our house, so we thought we’d take a few minutes. I want you to share some of what you’ve shared with me. Okay, so tell us about this new book that you’re still reading.

0:05:54 – Brian

Yeah, I’m still in the process of reading it. I will just say this could be my book of the year.

0:06:01 – Kayla


0:06:01 – Brian

It is that good. It is by David Brooks and it’s called how to see a person and he’s a journalist and he talks about how to have good conversations, how to really see someone. Yeah not just hey, how you do, how do you actually see somebody?

0:06:23 – Kayla

Yeah and. So you’ve got a quote here. What does that look like? I think this quote will help to bring it home for people.

0:06:30 – Brian

This is from page 98 it says so far I’ve been describing a process of getting to know someone as if we live in normal times. I’ve been writing as if we live in a healthy cultural environment, in a society in which people are in meshed and thick communities and webs of friendship, trust and belonging. We don’t live in such a society. We live in an environment in which political animosities, technological dehumanization and social breakdown Undermine connections, strain friendships, erase intimacy and foster distrust. We’re living in the middle of some sort of vast emotional, regulational and spiritual crisis.

0:07:12 – Kayla


0:07:12 – Brian

It is as if people across society have lost the ability to see and understand one another, thus producing a culture that can be brutalizing and Isolating. Who does anybody else feel seen in that paragraph? It’s some powerful truths, yeah do you feel seen in that I Do?

0:07:37 – Kayla

well, if you’ve, if you’ve, navigated the world for the last three to four years, there is so much that resonates in that.

0:07:46 – Brian


0:07:46 – Kayla

I mean, I’m using the word you loosely here, talking of all of us. You’re scared as a human anymore to have an opinion on anything. Hmm because you may get roasted on a spit for it.

0:07:59 – Brian

Yeah, I even shared that quote, this very quote, on Facebook and I got roasted for it Did you. I did and I’m just like it’s just a quote. Here’s where I am in this. I have sensed this for the last couple of years.

0:08:16 – Kayla


0:08:17 – Brian

I have deeply sensed this and I’ve sensed it. I’ve sensed it in society and I’ve sensed it within the organization in which we work, that there is some kind of strain, there’s some kind of issues going on, and what I’m learning this is you, humanity, this is America today, and we’ve lost this ability to be in a community. We’ve lost this ability or to be in a community with, possibly, people who don’t see the world, the way we do.

0:08:49 – Kayla

Yes, we used to be able to have healthy discourse. Now it’s just well. How dare you disagree with me? Or I will say this this is what I said to you the other night COVID did not make us better as a society.

0:09:07 – Brian

It made us it made us meaner. Yes, yes.

0:09:10 – Kayla

And I stand by that truth People who the tolerance level, the willingness to see another viewpoint, the ability to just and I know we’re going to come back to this later, but the ability to just listen without always having to speak, COVID, just, I think it was the isolation I really do, and I think back to our conversation with Michael Gimbola where we talked about the shift that has taken place because of the pandemic. It’s sad that we just don’t seem to have the ability to step outside of our own perception of things and our own opinions, viewpoints, worldview, and truly see another person.

0:10:00 – Brian

There’s a truth that used to exist, and it still applies to the gospel and to the church that we attend is that come as you are. You don’t have to agree with me, you don’t have to have your life cleaned up. Just come as you are. Yeah, just come as you are Today. When it comes to societal relationships and friendships, we don’t want to be like friends with people until we figure out. Do you agree with me on these certain issues?

0:10:39 – Kayla

Does everything fit in my nice neat little square?

0:10:42 – Brian

Yes, and I don’t want anybody in that square who might see the world a little differently and, as a result, we have become mean toward each other and all we do is fuss and argue and that kind of stuff. And if you don’t, well then you’ve created this little tribe of people who think just like you, and that is very scary. But yeah, I do think, because we’ve talked about how the world is now very isolating, and I also think that that’s a result of, like, social media. You think about it? I think Facebook is now 20 years old. That’s a whole generation that’s like grown up with that. We’ve had that now for 20 years. Think about that. We’ve had Facebook for 20 years. How has that changed us? How has social media changed us? We feel that we can interact with people who may be a thousand miles away, but yet we don’t interact with people who live a hundred yards.

0:11:46 – Kayla

What is it? I read the other day we are more connected than we have ever been, but we are lonelier than we have ever been. And I see this. There are people who will voice things behind the screen that they would never say sitting directly across from someone, and I don’t understand that Brooks Brooks wrote and this is the second quote, so he starts talking about why are we in this mess? Yeah, what’s caused all this? Yeah, and this is.

0:12:14 – Brian

This is just one line. As a society, we have failed to teach the skills and cultivate the inclination to treat each other with kindness, generosity and respect. He said those are three and he calls it a moral formation. But think about this kindness, generosity and respect. I have another theory as well, and he may get to this, but the church’s influence is probably waning in society. That’s probably fading. It’s getting less. I see that and as a result, we’ve allowed other things that we’re passionate about to take over.

0:12:54 – Kayla

Yeah, well, what is it that we read? A pastor friend shared this with us. Is it that 40% of families did not return to church after COVID? Think about that.

0:13:06 – Brian

It didn’t make us better.

0:13:08 – Kayla

They got so used to their own patterns and habits on the weekend that there’s not even the influence of the church anymore for that large of a percentage of society.

0:13:22 – Brian

Again, I go back to this point, and when we remove ourselves from that group, we remove ourselves from the ability to interact with others, we remove ourselves from that community. So he says that we’re no longer teaching these things of kindness, generosity and respect.

0:13:40 – Kayla

So how can we change this? What does he tell you? He writes a phrase that you found it fascinating.

0:13:48 – Brian

Yeah, he says be a loud listener. I love that phrase. I’m going to adopt that phrase. Be allowed. And I’m not even halfway through the book, y’all.

0:13:59 – Kayla


0:14:01 – Brian

I want to kind of put all this in a little bit of a gumbo and let it simmer to the top. Why do we not listen anymore? Because we’re too concerned with being right or wrong. Why are we no longer kind, generous and respectful? Because we’re too worried about being right or wrong? Yeah, and instead of being worried about being right, why not be kind?

0:14:26 – Kayla


0:14:27 – Brian

Why not be generous? Why not be respectful?

0:14:30 – Kayla

And you don’t have to surrender your right or wrong just by listening to another viewpoint or by respecting someone enough to let them share. And we struggle with that as a society. We really do.

0:14:49 – Brian

If I could say this, what he’s doing is first of all you know this is that Brooks is a believer and but he’s not putting Jesus front and center. Jesus is like in the background and he’s like peeking around him, because he’s writing this book not to the church but to America, as a whole.

So here’s where I am. Will this book change people? I would hope it would. But if we want to get back to where we were and I’m not sure we will ever get back there but if we want to progress and be better, we’re going to have to be kind and generous and respectful and we’re going to have to be a loud listener yeah, because we love to talk. Look at Facebook and Instagram and Twitter X, whatever it’s called.

0:15:40 – Kayla

Those tend to make us so narcissistic, because it’s look at me, look at what I cooked, look at what I’m doing, look at the successes I’m having, look at my beautiful home, look at this, look at that, me, me, me, me, me. And yet what it seems that Brooks is trying to remind us is let me look at you, let me, let me see you, let me hear you, let me focus on being a student rather than a teacher.

0:16:10 – Brian

Now in our marriage and you weren’t expecting me to say this. Miss Kayla is a very loud listener. I’m a very loud talker and you have this gift where you can listen to people and you can empathize with them. You see, I think you’re a part of the solution. I think I’m part of the problem, so that’s something I got to work on my word.

0:16:34 – Kayla

I don’t know about that, I do.

0:16:36 – Brian

I mean, I mean whenever I grow up, I want to be you, because you have this heart and you want to see people, you want to understand them and you listen to them.

0:16:47 – Kayla

So, Miss Kayla, well, I wasn’t expecting that, so thank you.

0:16:52 – Brian

But this is a book you would definitely recommend David Brooks how to See a Person, and it’s the number two bestseller in America right now. Wow, so the holidays are upon us and, as a matter of fact, last night I was playing holiday, I was playing Christmas.

0:17:12 – Kayla

You were. I came in from outside and there’s Christmas music playing in our house which I’m so here for this. So yeah, I was like wait a minute, this girl loves her Some holiday.

0:17:24 – Brian

loves her some Christmas.

0:17:26 – Kayla

You’ve always told me and I get it. After Halloween it is the official kickoff for retail of the holiday season.

0:17:35 – Brian

Yeah, is anybody else getting 18 emails a day?

0:17:37 – Kayla

It’s a bit much, I mean even, I have to say but we decided that we want to do our annual. This is your permission slip, so we want to give you a hard pass, is what we’re calling it and so let’s jump in. These are just recommendations. Take the ones that mean something to you and shake off the ones that don’t. But, for example, you can say no to as many invites as you need to. In order to stay sane and to do what is best for your family, it is okay to say no.

0:18:18 – Brian

You go. You don’t have to attend every single party Now. I would recommend that.

0:18:24 – Kayla

I mean, don’t be a hermit.

0:18:26 – Brian

Cause, yeah, you can pick one or two and you can go to it, but if you get invitations to 15, you don’t have to go to all 15. You know what I’m saying?

0:18:35 – Kayla

Yes, choose the ones that are meaningful to you.

0:18:37 – Brian

Yes, yeah, you are free to skip the professional family photos. Okay, you are free to skip the enemy. Say this once your kids hit about 15, 60, don’t put everybody in matching jammies.

0:18:52 – Kayla

Oh, why so low judging, do you don’t think that looks a little? I think I’m giving them freedom to do whatever they want to do, but you and Sprocket used to address.

0:19:02 – Brian

I was about to say you’ve kind of stepped on my yeah. Okay, well, dress as you want, but you don’t have to do the professional family photos at Christmas.

0:19:10 – Kayla

If it’s not for your family, skip it. You are not obligated to buy a gift for everyone. Let me say that again you are not obligated to buy a gift for everyone. Don’t blow your budget trying to impress others, and if the only way you are going to feel loved by people is by giving them a gift, then maybe reassess your friends.

0:19:40 – Brian

You preaching today, you meddling, and remember this you’re never there’s just so much pressure. Yes.

0:19:47 – Kayla

On people this time of year and you need to come out of this season not sitting with so much regret and so much burden and one of the biggest disfinances for people that they get to January. Then those payments roll in, and was it worth it? I mean for something that someone may end up taking to the thrift store.

0:20:11 – Brian

And don’t allow other family members to pressure you to buy gifts for. Like other family members Like perhaps you haven’t seen in 45 years, oh, you need to get that person. I hadn’t seen that person in 45 years. I don’t interact with them.

0:20:27 – Kayla

Your presence is a gift Right.

0:20:29 – Brian

Now, if you want to and you feel led to do that, then by all means go for it. You are free to keep it simple with your menus. It doesn’t have to be a six course meal. Well, since I’m allergic to everything under the sun, You’re gonna have three items on your plate. We’ll have like three items on my plate.

0:20:47 – Kayla

But one of them will be mashed potatoes, so we’re good.

0:20:49 – Brian

All God’s people said Amen, we’ll have brisket.

0:20:52 – Kayla

Yes, but if cooking is your thing, we give you permission to make as many courses as you want to. If cooking stresses you out, it is okay to go somewhere and pick up a meal.

0:21:05 – Brian

Cracker barrel will prepare you a meal that you can serve to people.

0:21:10 – Kayla

You are free to create your own family traditions, just because your great aunt, tessie, did this for six generations. Don’t feel it’s just the first name that came to me. Do not feel that you have to continue doing this. It’s not on you to carry the torch for everyone else’s expectations of your holiday season.

0:21:37 – Brian

There are certain shows that, like we like to watch the Christmas, the year of the Santa Claus and the Otters.

0:21:43 – Kayla

But some people do Christmas on Christmas Eve, some people do Christmas on Christmas day, some people do Christmas at Thanksgiving, believe it or not, because that’s when everyone is going to be together. If that’s what works for you, let that be your tradition.

0:21:59 – Brian

There really isn’t a rule saying you have to wait until November 24th to put up your Christmas decor Now this.

0:22:05 – Kayla

I know that’s right.

0:22:07 – Brian

This is.

0:22:08 – Kayla

This has become such a thing.

0:22:11 – Brian

I mean.

0:22:12 – Kayla

It’s like culture wars over when the tree goes up.

0:22:15 – Brian

So you can put your tree up if you want to.

0:22:19 – Kayla

Tomorrow, tomorrow, I don’t care.

0:22:20 – Brian

The day after Halloween you can put it up.

0:22:23 – Kayla

I will go ahead and give a disclaimer. Hours is going up this weekend, which will be the second weekend in November.

0:22:30 – Brian

I’m excited about that. I’m ready for it, are you really? I love the lights and that kind of thing. It’s totally acceptable to pile in your car in your PJs and go enjoy Christmas lights I’m all for that. But when I go out in my PJs I’m worried like is the car going to break down? And I got to call somebody and they’re going to see me in my pajamas.

0:22:53 – Kayla

That’s how my mind works. I’m thinking families here with their matching pajamas, so leave them alone. I’ve been a little hostile earlier about the matching PJs. That’s a strong word to use. Let yourself enjoy the holiday treats.

0:23:11 – Brian

Ones that you’re not allergic to.

0:23:12 – Kayla

Well, there’s that so don’t steal your own joy with the fun foods that you like at the holidays.

0:23:20 – Brian

Here’s what I’m going to say. Be a kid again, yes. Watch your favorite holiday shows, eat some of your favorite holiday treats. Just be a kid again and relive some of those memories. It could be a sad time, but it’s. It’s good to do that, and then finally see the birth of Christ as the most joyous thing, because he came to forgive his people of their sins. Put Jesus in your Christmas celebrations, because he’s the reason why we do this.

0:23:56 – Kayla

That’s right and the law of the other stuff is negotiable.

0:24:00 – Brian


0:24:01 – Kayla

But the reason for it’s very cliche, I get it. The reason for the season is Jesus.

0:24:08 – Brian


0:24:09 – Kayla

And so don’t forget to include him in your celebration.

0:24:15 – Brian

I have one more.

0:24:16 – Kayla


0:24:17 – Brian

That I have left as a surprise, okay, that I want to get your live reaction to on this podcast. Oh dear, here we go, okay. So that’s something I have wanted for the past two or three years and I found it when I woke up at three o’clock this morning and I ordered it from Amazon.

0:24:34 – Kayla

Hey, oh my goodness.

0:24:37 – Brian

There is a little ornament.

0:24:40 – Kayla

You did not. That is a toad. Is there a toad coming to our house.

0:24:45 – Brian

It’s a toad and he’s got a missile. He’s got a missile on his back and it’s called the missile toad, and so I’m going to wrap some ribbon on it, I’m going to hang it in the offices.

0:24:56 – Kayla

Oh, you think you oh at the office. Okay, Put that at the house.

0:25:00 – Brian

But we’ve got a missile toad coming to the offices.

0:25:05 – Kayla

You are out of control If.

0:25:07 – Brian

I put a picture up on our Instagram page and you can everybody can go see it. By the way, you can follow us on Instagram.

0:25:14 – Kayla

So yeah, if you don’t we apparently are you’re going to get to see the missile toad.

0:25:20 – Brian

He’s coming, He’ll be here he’s and, a matter of fact, he shipped this morning. I got a notification, so there you go.

0:25:27 – Kayla

This is what happens when he’s left unsupervised.

0:25:30 – Brian

It says you told me I have the freedom to celebrate this as I see fit.

0:25:34 – Kayla

I’m getting a missile toad delivered. You go right ahead and I have the freedom to say you’re not hanging that in our house. So here we are. Anyway, please do If you do not follow us on Instagram, please do that and also, for the first two people who go to our website, answer our trivia question correctly, which is going to be what did Brian order from Amazon?

0:26:05 – Brian

I’m going to change the question.

0:26:06 – Kayla

So what did Brian order from Amazon? If you can answer that correctly by clicking the trivia button at peas and carrots podcastcom, you will win a coffee mug and some beautiful stickers. You love the stickers.

0:26:23 – Brian

I do, they’re so fun. So, yeah, you can go do that Also. Search the peas and carrots podcast wherever you get your podcast and just subscribe to it. You can also visit our website peasandcarretspodcastcom, and when you do, don’t forget to subscribe. You can also follow us on Facebook.

0:26:39 – Kayla

Yes, go to Facebook and Instagram. Just search for the peas and carrots podcast.

0:26:43 – Brian

Y’all, we got a missile toad coming our way.

0:26:47 – Announcer

For more about the peas and carrots podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit Friends who care, sharing life and insights along the way. Jesus fix it. The good morning radio podcast with Jess. Like today, wherever you listen.