0:00:00 – Announcer
We go together like peas and carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch Brian and Kayla Sanders.

0:00:11 – Brian
Welcome to the peas and carrots podcast. Hi, I’m Kayla and I’m Brian. Welcome to this week’s edition of what’s going on in the world of peas and carrots what’s happening in life.

0:00:23 – Kayla
Well, you’ve been doing a lot of cooking lately, which I’m totally here for this. I love when you cook, really, but what have you been making?

0:00:32 – Brian
gumbo Mm-hmm. Red beans rice sausage.

0:00:37 – Kayla
Roasted cabbage.

0:00:38 – Brian
Yeah, I do this fried cabbage stuff with Sausage in it, which is I like that a lot. I grill where you we are actually trying to grill. Longer into the season, longer into the fall and to the winter. So yeah, I do that a good bit. I’m trying to think of what else was that about it? That’s about it. I Like to cook it’s cozy food season for me.

What aggravates me about cooking is I feel and this is just on me, I feel this pressure from myself that when I get home I want to cook instantly, get it done so we can sit down and relax.

0:01:19 – Kayla
But I need to relieve that pressure you do, and sometimes it’s just getting it started so that it can cook for a while, but yeah.

0:01:28 – Brian
Anything with rice. I’m here for. I’m here for anything with rice. So our neighbors Mike and Kim have the most amazing Christmas Inflatables they do and their front and side yard awesome and there’s a huge watt there in the side yard that you’re mumble. You are. If you know who bumble is, he’s from Rudolph the Red Nose reindeer. He’s a, he’s a Yeti, he’s a bigfoot or whatever, and they have this giant and he was sprocket favorite toy.

0:02:01 – Kayla
So it kind of tugged at my heart when I saw him in the yard the other day.

0:02:06 – Brian
So yeah, and if puppy was still around, we could take him over there.

0:02:09 – Kayla
Oh, he’d bark it to death, but yeah so what if he’d attack? It Probably if we got him close enough, but we would not have done that. So, yeah, okay. So I have a question. Okay, is it, once I get home, I’m staying home season for anyone else, or is it just me?

0:02:26 – Brian
I never knew we exited that season. I just thought that was the default setting.

0:02:31 – Kayla
I just mean in the summer it’s more tempting to go back out like well, we’ll go get dessert, or We’ll run to the store, but I am to that point where, nope, I’m home, I’m changing into my pajamas and this is who we are now.

0:02:48 – Brian
You want to tell them what we did last night. Just be honest, all the time we went to bed.

0:02:53 – Kayla
I went to bed at six o’clock. I, yes, I did. We get off work.

0:02:57 – Brian
Proud of myself and so got home.

0:03:00 – Kayla
I was bent.

0:03:01 – Brian
We picked up a little Mexican pickup order and went home and ate and then like bears hibernated. Yeah, I can’t believe. I woke up at 1130, then went back to sleep, yep, and I woke up at 530. Yeah, I just cannot. I slept that long. That kind of scared me a little bit.

0:03:19 – Kayla
No.

0:03:20 – Brian
You’re here for this. I’m so here for this you can sleep that long every night.

0:03:24 – Kayla
No, not really, but I love lazy evenings like that that don’t require anything. So, yeah, it was good.

0:03:31 – Brian
I know people just love lazy.

0:03:34 – Kayla
Oh, that hits different. That’s well okay, it’s another subject for another day.

0:03:38 – Brian
You know we probably should move on from that. Yeah, money, we talked about this in a previous episode. I think it was our last episode. We kind of hinted at this a little bit. Yeah so how do we create a family budget when everything is so expensive? How do we Navigate this?

0:03:58 – Kayla
Yeah, so I I get a lot of questions about this Just because I am kind of a banker type person, but I Want to share with you what works for us, and it comes with this caveat Everyone needs to find a system that works for you, but if you have no system, then you aren’t controlling your money. Your money is controlling you, and so we’re just gonna walk through some of the things that we do. The first step, legit, is how many paychecks do you have coming in each month? For example, we’re paid every other week, so our monthly budget looks like two columns. The first column is for the first checks. The second column on our spreadsheet is for the second checks. You may have to have multiple columns on your spreadsheet if You’re being paid on offsetting weeks and have different like pay structures.

0:04:56 – Brian
What if there’s a third paycheck in a month?

0:04:59 – Kayla
we usually use that to grow our savings, or we will say I will set that aside. That’s usually where our vacation fund comes from, oh, so I try to. Obviously, things like church tithe and groceries still need to come out of that check, but then for everything else there’s no recurring expense. So that’s how I typically grow our savings. Or well, if we have a trip coming up, I’ll put aside a chunk of money for that.

0:05:30 – Brian
All right, very good. So what’s your first step in all this? What are you writing down?

0:05:38 – Kayla
So the first thing, and I prefer an Excel spreadsheet I also have it as a Google Doc so I can share it with you, but it’s private to the two of us.

0:05:49 – Brian
That’s some, that’s just some fascinating reading right down.

0:05:53 – Kayla
Yeah, you don’t ever want to see it. You need to sit down and write down all your static expenses, and what I mean by this is what are your bills that repeat each month? And here’s a trick If the bill amount is going to fluctuate, I Calculate it for 12 months, based on the highest amount that bill ever was so in December of this year, I will sit down and create 12 spreadsheets for next year. Oh, and so our like our electric bill. I will put what the highest amount ever was and multiply that and I put that on all 12, it comes in less.

You got well then we have savings, but the worst thing is to go with what the lowest bill was and Then you come up with a shortfall. So I typically calculate our January or February bill, which is our highest bill coming out of Christmas and winter, because it’s a blasted colder.

Mm-hmm. So that’s one way to keep yourself from getting in a bind. A great idea. So another thing that we do and this is just our preference is a couple we determine what amount is reasonable, what amount do we want to end the year having saved, and that is a line item.

0:07:12 – Brian
Does that ever change?

0:07:13 – Kayla
I mean it. It tends to go up. There is a minimum amount that is transferred twice a month behind the scenes and it goes into our savings account, but often it’s more than that so, and we can circle back to that, but yeah, Okay, why do you assign certain bills to certain checks?

0:07:33 – Brian
Like I find that a little fascinating, like you have written out like this is checks number one.

0:07:38 – Kayla
Well, our mortgage is always due on the first of the month.

0:07:40 – Brian
Yeah, but why do you do so?

0:07:43 – Kayla
because of how the bill falls. It comes out of our first check.

0:07:47 – Brian
Y’all. This is why she keeps this and I don’t yeah.

0:07:50 – Kayla
So if the mortgage is due on December 1st and our first check in November is like November 10th, then I know I have buffer to get the mortgage paid, so it comes out of the first check rather than waiting until the second check, which may end up being too close to the first of the next month. Okay, so basically it was a painful transition, but I made sure that everything is paid one check ahead, which it’s hard to do that If you haven’t already set yourself up that way. It was tight for a couple of months for us, but once we got to that pattern then I’m never panicking oh, something’s doing two days kind of situation.

0:08:35 – Brian
Somebody’s gonna say I don’t have enough money to meet all of my bills, and that is a real problem. So here’s one tip I want to give Okay, that if you have debt, you have this credit card debt, that credit card debt, this. Possibly go to a bank and try and do a consolidation loan to where you can put all those in one and then lower your payment so that you can create a little bit of breathing room. Now, this is the danger Don’t go back out and make more debt and make new debt.

0:09:06 – Kayla
Or there’s the option to pay off the smallest debt and then work towards the largest debt. But you said something very poignant there. At some point you have to stop choosing to make debt, and we’ll talk about that in just a second.

0:09:21 – Brian
You have to start living for tomorrow and not today.

0:09:23 – Kayla
You do so once you’ve assigned out all of your bills. These are your things that are gonna be every month your electric bill, your mortgage, possibly your car note. I even go as far as to list groceries. This is how much we’re gonna spend on groceries. This is how much our internet’s going to cost. This is how much our cell phones cost. This is how much we spend on streaming.

It literally has its own line item that we eliminate any surprises, have a line item for things like birthdays, anniversaries, taxes, christmas. You set yourself up for success if every expense you can imagine has been added to the particular month where it needs to be paid. I know that first week of December every year we have property taxes. Those are budgeted in November every year, so that it doesn’t catch me by surprise If items for us like date night, bookstore hobbies, if those things are important to you, create a line item for them as well. And here’s the thing everything needs to be accounted for Because that way you know that you’re keeping. You’re kind of keeping a control on how much is going out the door.

We even have a coffee budget.

0:10:47 – Brian
We knew some folks at one point in our lives who would actually call the bank and see how much was in the like, how much was in their checking account, and that would determine for them If they could go out to it was like a game of Russian roulette. They were hoping something wouldn’t clear. And my question to them one night was this well, do you have checks written against that amount? They’re like, yeah, but it hasn’t cleared yet and I about died. It was terrifying, yeah.

0:11:13 – Kayla
So there are some conversations you need to have. Decide as a couple what you will do with any surplus. Now you may laugh and say what’s surplus, but if you do once you have plugged in every expense you have, then it’s grown up time. It’s time to sit down and say what is luxury, what is need versus want, and maybe some things do need to scale back for a season. If you’re constantly going over your grocery budget, then maybe you need to look at. Well, for us it would look like giving up coffee. Coffee out is a luxury, it is not a need. I know some people would disagree, but I can make coffee at home much cheaper than I can go through Starbucks.

0:12:00 – Brian
So as a-, but who’s gonna ride on that little cup?

0:12:03 – Kayla
Well, I can do that, Okay, but keep in mind that there are things you may have to relinquish if you’re not meeting your set budget. This is a hard truth to say, and this is where you were talking earlier. We create our own stress we really do when we don’t hold ourselves financially accountable.

0:12:27 – Brian
Truth.

0:12:28 – Kayla
If every single month spending is exceeding income, you’ve gotta reassess things.

0:12:36 – Brian
You’ve gotta cancel something. You’ve gotta get out of something.

0:12:38 – Kayla
Early in our marriage we learned that for a season we could not have a credit card.

0:12:43 – Brian
It was too tempting.

0:12:45 – Kayla
It was oh well, it’s Friday night and we deserve this. We wanna go out to dinner and it went on a credit card. Well, before you know it, we had credit card debt that we had to deal with. We also learned it saves a whole lot of money to eat at home and we like cooking. So that was a change that we made. There was a point early in our marriage that you and I made the decision. Credit card debt is not debt that we are going to carry beyond the time the bill comes due. Now somebody may be sitting there saying, well, this is all well and good, but I don’t obviously have the kind of disposable income that you do. I get that. I really do get that. When I first started working, did I make like 14,000 a year? Yep, that’s how much I made. Even then, we had a budget that we lived by.

And, yeah, you got paid once a month, so we had to really stretch to make that grocery budget last. It’s being realistic with yourself and the hardest question to ask is what are the things that I feel I deserve versus what our family absolutely needs? In this season and for us that looks like food. Food is always gonna come first.

0:14:03 – Brian
Housing.

0:14:04 – Kayla
Paying our mortgage, paying our bills, and then, if there is anything extra, then we can look at having fun.

0:14:13 – Brian
I guess what Ms Kayla is saying is that you have to learn to live within your means.

0:14:16 – Kayla
Yeah.

0:14:18 – Brian
And.

0:14:18 – Kayla
Or you are gonna be stressed all the time about money.

0:14:21 – Brian
Yes, you’re gonna be stressed and you’re gonna be strapped. So yeah. These are great little tips, ms Kayla, and thank you for what you do for our little family and how you take care of us. But great little and it’s hard. I mean we’re not gonna sit here and say it’s easy, no, and it’s been a learning curve for us.

0:14:37 – Kayla
I mean, we admitted there are things we had to say no to and there was a season for us where, because we did not have children, we tended to gravitate towards older people because we were more comfortable there. Well, one of the key takeaways is they were more established than we could have ever hoped to be in our early 30s. These are people who were in their 50s. We could not keep up with them and that was okay. We weren’t meant to Be mindful of what expectations you’re putting on yourself based on who do you run with? Because You’re not meant to keep up with the Joneses. You’re meant to keep up with what your checkbook says.

0:15:22 – Brian
Well, something got said there. We’re gonna get to know you a little bit. We’re gonna get to know each other a little bit. We want to kind of let you get to know us just a little bit. So also okay.

0:15:35 – Kayla
These we thought would be some great questions for conversation starters as you know. At your going to holiday parties or your welcoming guests to your home. So we thought we’d make it fun. We’ll have a game of get to know you. But also these are some good questions you could ask if you’re stumped for conversation. So me, what are you most afraid of failure? Oh, I thought you’d say spiders. Failure you Getting lost.

0:16:10 – Brian
Yes, yeah, I see yeah we have lived that a few times.

0:16:14 – Kayla
Yes, I can’t handle when I don’t know where I’m going.

0:16:16 – Brian
So, yeah, failure for me getting getting lost. For you, I’ve got a yeah. I’ve got to figure out how to win. I got to figure out how to have a success out of a situation. What’s the bravest thing you ever did?

0:16:29 – Kayla
Walk into a gym.

0:16:31 – Brian
Wow, going to see a therapist. Mmm bravest thing I ever did. Yeah, Jim would be right up there next to it because I was oh, I was terrified.

0:16:41 – Kayla
I still am, but yeah, I feel like a monkey on a trapeze.

0:16:47 – Brian
Stop it.

0:16:49 – Kayla
If you could only listen to one song for the rest of your life, what would it be?

0:16:54 – Brian
gosh, I don’t know have I have no idea Maybe Vincent by Josh Groban, something like that. It’s probably one of my favorite songs and it’s a song about suicide, where Vincent van Gogh could to take his own life, but just love the melody of it. I love the mess.

0:17:13 – Kayla
Yes, sad it and I’m afraid of that, okay, yeah, I would probably have to choose. This one is hard and I chose the question, but I would probably choose goodness of God by CC Winans.

0:17:25 – Brian
Well, here I am going with Josh. Groban your little morbid, but yeah, let me, let me. Let me switch my answer. I think that probably my or summer win by, like Frank Sinatra.

0:17:36 – Kayla
I could see that, okay, that’s a better choice. I love that song, favorite Christmas movie of all time.

0:17:44 – Brian
National Lampoon’s Christmas vacation. All-time favorite Christmas movie. Love it oh it’s a good one. I love with the scene when he’s in the attic watching the whole movies and he’s got that little turbo.

0:17:58 – Kayla
I love that, yours that was a good one, but I would have to say white Christmas. These are some hard questions, but yeah.

0:18:09 – Brian
I might switch to white Christmas best book you read this year so far.

0:18:14 – Kayla
Yours. Oh, I’m asking you this oh, um, I would have to say Sean and me quest book. I guess I haven’t learned that yet.

0:18:24 – Brian
Oh.

0:18:25 – Kayla
It was a really impactful book. Give me one takeaway that there are gonna be Events in your life that you may not feel ready for, but just keep navigating them and things will begin to reveal themselves. All right, but be okay with what you don’t know in the season that you’re in.

0:18:48 – Brian
For me how to how to know a person by David Brooks.

0:18:51 – Kayla
Mmm. We talked about that one recently love that book.

0:18:54 – Brian
Yes, loved it.

0:18:56 – Kayla
What is your favorite core memory from traveling?

0:19:00 – Brian
Seeing you hug to Baca Disney World.

0:19:03 – Kayla
That’s too funny, I was gonna say watching you do a meet and greet with Darth Vader at Star Wars.

0:19:09 – Brian
Just uh, mm-hmm loved it, I absolutely loved that I love Chewbacca.

0:19:13 – Kayla
What’s one lesson you are carrying into next year?

0:19:18 – Brian
Life, business leadership doesn’t matter one lesson.

0:19:22 – Kayla
We’re limiting you to one.

0:19:25 – Brian
Be as passionate about the organizations finances as I am about its culture.

0:19:31 – Kayla
Mmm, mmm, that’s a deep one, you didn’t you didn’t know, see that one coming. No, I did not. For me, it’s slow down. Stop going at a frenetic pace all the time and learn to slow down. Be in the moment.

0:19:53 – Brian
Are you a morning person or a night owl?

0:19:55 – Kayla
I’m a permanently exhausted pigeon. I Love early mornings, just because, but you also love a nap, but I love staying up late and watching movies. You’re out by 8 30.

0:20:18 – Brian
So yeah you’re definitely Clock. Somebody better be dead or something better be burning.

0:20:23 – Kayla
There’s that.

0:20:24 – Brian
I’m a morning person.

0:20:26 – Kayla
You are good if.

0:20:27 – Brian
I wake up and it’s 4 30.

0:20:29 – Kayla
You’re ready to have a conversation? Well, I’m usually hiding behind a cup of coffee trying to work on that.

0:20:35 – Brian
but I do love early mornings, I love the quiet, I love the peace.

0:20:39 – Kayla
Mm-hmm. I am a morning person, I’m really particularly love them this time of year, with the Christmas tree lit, just sitting Before daylight. Just sitting with the tree lights, sipping coffee, yeah, doing my devotional. It’s great stuff. If you could learn another language, which would you choose? I?

0:21:01 – Brian
took four years of German, mmm, and I enjoyed it. It’s very difficult. If I could go back, I would also do Latin. Oh, because Latin would allow me to read certain historical books in their original language. I know, I’m just crazy or not?

0:21:20 – Kayla
I wish that I could learn French. We and not sound Crazy. I took four years of Spanish, two in high school, two in college and Spanish just came a whole lot easier to me and with my accent it didn’t sound as crazy as me trying to speak French, but I think French is a beautiful language, so okay, if money was no object, uh-huh, you had all.

0:21:45 – Brian
you had unlimited resources. Where would you travel to?

0:21:49 – Kayla
who? Probably Austria or Ireland.

0:21:54 – Brian
Now hang on. I need to pause here. I just said I would I had four years of German. She’s going to Austria. We are not Nazis, let’s go. No, I did not know, it’s just.

0:22:06 – Kayla
I think it’s beautiful there and I would love I’d love to spend time in that countryside, yeah, Switzerland going back.

0:22:15 – Brian
London, italy, mm-hmm, those, those places I have nothing in me wants to go to Russia or China or Japan. I just don’t have nothing personal maybe Australia, but that flight, oh my gosh. There are snakes and spiders there.

0:22:33 – Kayla
That just bigger than us. Yeah, no, yes, that’s just kind of that just kind of wigs me out.

0:22:37 – Brian
So there you go.

0:22:38 – Kayla
So there you go. There’s some good questions. Feel free to steal some of those if the conversation is stagnant and you’re trying to fill the air at a holiday party.

0:22:49 – Brian
There’s one more conversation starter that that we’d like to give you, and that’s appeasing carrots coffee. That’s right you could be using that at a Christmas party and somebody oh, what’s that about? And then you can talk about the podcast. So, a matter of fact, the first two people to go to our website, we’re going to give you a peas and carrots coffee mug and accompanied with that.

There are peas and carrots stickers in there as well, but you’ll have. That’s how you get the coffee mug and the stickers. You go to our website, look for the trivia button Click that okay, when you get there, you have to answer a question. This week’s question.

0:23:26 – Kayla
If money was no object for you, where would you travel?

0:23:29 – Brian
Okay, so where would you go if you had unlimited resources? Somebody might say, nowhere, I’m staying home, so just so good on you.

0:23:38 – Kayla
Yeah, just go to our website peasandcaredspodcastcom.

0:23:42 – Brian
Click on the trivia button and answer the question.

0:23:44 – Kayla
If money was no object for you, where would you travel?

0:23:48 – Brian
Yeah, answer that question. We’ll send you a pack of stickers and a coffee mug. Thanks for listening this week.

0:23:53 – Kayla
You can search peas and carrots podcast wherever you get your podcast, or visit our website peasandcaredspodcastcom. And when you do, please don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast.

0:24:03 – Brian
You can also follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Just search for the peas and carrots podcast.

0:24:09 – Announcer
For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com  Life’s not perfect, that’s why God gave us friends like Melody and Candy. Check out the Quirks, Bumps, and Bruises Podcast, or search Quirks, Bumps and Bruises wherever you listen to podcasts.

 0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like peas and carrots the Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch Brian and Kayla Sanders.

0:00:11 – Brian

Welcome to the Peas and Carrots Podcast. I’m Kayla and I’m Brian. Welcome to this week’s edition of bruised and bumps and and uh oh, it’s been a week. So if you want to, let’s just start here. You want to tell everybody about your adventures.

0:00:30 – Kayla

It’s been a rough few days yeah so what? The other day I was literally walking and I turned to answer a question and I walked right into a doorpost and nearly broke my toe. It was swollen and black and for a couple of days. We thought it was broken. I think it’s okay. It’s healing really well. It’s lots of fun colors. But that was embarrassing because it wasn’t even a fun story. I just was walking.

Then and then this morning I took a tumble on the stairs, I missed a step and Boom, the next thing I remember. I’m sliding down like five steps and I hit my hit my behind. Thankfully lots of padding there, but wow, it’s sore so I’m gonna have one mean bruise you can walk and oh, I’ve stretched and I can walk and but thank God for Tylenol and bio freeze and Patted chairs.

0:01:32 – Brian

Let me just go on record, I was not in the house. No, actually.

0:01:35 – Kayla

Nope, you did not push me down the stairs.

0:01:37 – Brian

You had nothing to do with this outside loading our bags into the truck to come to work, because we but it’s just one of those seasons of Life where I need to slow down.

0:01:47 – Kayla

I’m just going at such a frenetic pace all the time that I Was rushing to come down the stairs and I was rushing the other day and walked into a door and yeah. So I don’t even have adventures and like stories for what happened, but Make something up, but I’m gonna have a shiner, so yeah.

0:02:07 – Brian

Well, just remember this. Nobody can see this a shiner cause of where there’s that not going to yes. But, people will say huh, I wonder why she’s sitting like that.

0:02:19 – Kayla

She sits, weight is not distributed. Let’s just put it that way. She’s kind of oddly.

0:02:23 – Brian

Jim, what do you think’s going on with that lady?

0:02:26 – Kayla

So there’s something about December and toilets in our house here we go.

0:02:33 – Brian

So last December we had to replace an emergency a guest bedroom.

0:02:38 – Kayla

It just stopped working.

0:02:39 – Brian

Stopped working yeah and now the toilet in you, in your bedroom, in the master bedroom, where we both sleep by the bathroom attached.

0:02:53 – Kayla

Just need to clarify. We’re a little more classy than that Great place.

0:03:00 – Brian

Happen in five days, but there were a couple of days. We just be sitting there and it’s phantom.

0:03:05 – Kayla

Flushing is what it’s called.

0:03:07 – Brian

It just runs for five seconds, it’ll stop. It’ll run for five seconds and stop, and it happened like once every six hours or so.

0:03:17 – Kayla

So we’re gonna go ahead and get both of our toilets replaced.

0:03:23 – Brian

So yeah, so it’s a thing it’s, and what’s sad is that we can replace both of these for cheaper and replace the one that yeah, we’re not gonna dwell on that. So there’s you go. Well, miss Kayla. This weekend we watched the first installment, the first four episodes of season six of the crown, and the other four will come out in December, yeah, mid-december. Okay, I want to say one thing before we get started.

0:03:48 – Kayla

Okay.

0:03:50 – Brian

There was a lot of science fiction In the first four episodes of the crown.

0:03:58 – Kayla

Oh, there was definitely some creative license.

0:04:01 – Brian

There was a lot of creative license.

0:04:03 – Kayla

There are things that none of us would have ever known, so I don’t want to spoil it for anyone, but it’s also very emotional Because and I mean this is something you would get from the teasers it is the timeline of when Diana dies in the car crash, and so, yeah, it was more emotional than I thought it would be.

0:04:28 – Brian

Here’s what I want to say. They take the actual events of what happened and they feel in a round it with lots of fiction. And a lot of science fiction. So I mean, I was sitting there researching, going that’s not true, and I was going. How do they even know this happened? How do they even know that that particular conversation ever happened?

0:04:51 – Kayla

Well, they don’t. That’s why I’m saying they took creative license and just saying I’m writing a letter, well you go right in.

0:04:58 – Brian

But overall it was good. It was sad.

0:05:01 – Kayla

Very sad.

0:05:03 – Brian

Yes.

0:05:04 – Kayla

This was by far the saddest season.

0:05:06 – Brian

So, yeah, I mean, would I recommend it as a show? Yes, as history.

0:05:12 – Kayla

You can fact check it though, yeah, and I recommend fact checking because there are things that no one would ever have known because they died.

0:05:20 – Brian

So, yeah. Stress.

0:05:26 – Kayla

Oh you ever have stress this time of year Never lens to that for anybody fell down the stairs this morning you got any stress. A little stressful yeah.

0:05:35 – Brian

So stress is a given. Some stress is good because it pushes you onward, and we want to say this before we start this segment you’re never going to be stress free.

0:05:48 – Kayla

No.

0:05:50 – Brian

The goal is. The goal is to how to manage it, the goal is to how to endure it.

0:05:54 – Kayla

Yeah. So, with the roles that we both play, with the dynamics that we have navigated. Let’s put it that way We’ve seen our fair share of stress, and so we are no experts in this, but what can we do when stress becomes unhealthy? And so we wanted to share a few things that we have found, and I believe it would be fair to say I think you would agree with me be this year has been a healing year for us.

We have done a lot of intentional things to take care of our health, and one of those is how we view stress. So let’s dive in. We’ll share with you some of the things that we have found, the first one being practice healthy boundaries with people. Not everyone is safe for you and not everyone deserves access, and that is hard to say as a believer and as someone who I love people. Not everyone is healthy for you.

0:07:05 – Brian

Paul even wrote as much as is up to you.

0:07:09 – Kayla

Yeah.

0:07:09 – Brian

Be at peace with everyone, and that phrase as much as it up to you. Yeah, so practice healthy boundaries. Know who’s safe, know who isn’t. Know who brings drama. Know, practice. Know who could bring trauma.

0:07:23 – Kayla

Yeah. Into your life or has or has, and so therefore, you need to react to that.

0:07:29 – Brian

Yes, so, yeah. So one way is to practice healthy boundaries. Yeah, and whenever you start practicing boundaries, I guarantee you that your stress will go up, because people are going to they’re going to push back?

0:07:41 – Kayla

Yeah, but in time. But in time. Be mindful of what you bring into your home. Inward clutter is a sign of inward chaos.

0:07:53 – Brian

Right.

0:07:54 – Kayla

You and I are very intentional about what we bring into our home. Yes, we have a lot of nice things, but they have a place or they have a purpose, and I loved what I read recently If you’re not using it, it’s clutter, so give it to someone else who can.

0:08:14 – Brian

I’ve got an original edition of a book about Lincoln that was written a few years after his death but it serves a purpose.

0:08:22 – Kayla

It serves, it brings me joy. Exactly, that’s different, okay.

0:08:27 – Brian

I mean now those different sausage balls you cook. Those are, those are serving a purpose to write. I can’t handle a lot of clutter Now I might throw socks on the floor and forget I put them there.

0:08:41 – Kayla

That’s called messy. That’s not clutter. That’s clarifying.

0:08:46 – Brian

You were quick to respond to that.

0:08:48 – Kayla

I’m just going to say that Okay, but I like for things to be clutter is when you’ve got so much stuff that you, if you even tried to put it all away, you can’t. That’s clutter.

0:09:04 – Brian

is you’ve accumulated, or how do these people on these hoarder TV shows live?

0:09:11 – Kayla

I’d walk in that house and say nope, I’m out. Well, that’s because you’re healthy. They’re not in a healthy place.

0:09:17 – Brian

Well, you’re a lot more sympathetic toward them than I am. Okay, be realistic about what we say yes to. Okay, we probably say no to too much.

0:09:28 – Kayla

Sometimes, Sometimes.

0:09:31 – Brian

But yeah, be careful about what you say yes to and be realistic about it. Don’t overbook yourself, don’t stress yourself so thin all the time. Give yourself some margin. Give yourself some evenings at home, give yourself quiet mornings.

0:09:47 – Kayla

There’s nothing worse than a resentful yes. If you’re doing something just because you feel obligated rather than because you’re enjoying it, you’re on fire Now, sorry jury duty, that’s a resentful yes. I’ve done that before.

0:10:04 – Brian

You’re on fire with the truth. Ism today Nothing? Worse than a resentful yes man.

0:10:10 – Kayla

Well, the next one’s a zinger, and we’re actually going to talk about this on our next podcast.

0:10:15 – Brian

Oh money.

0:10:16 – Kayla

Design and follow a family budget. Most stress between couples comes because of money.

0:10:25 – Brian

We are not traditional. I believe that you should let the person who has the giftings use their giftings Most, I don’t want to say most. There is a percentage within Christianity that says men should handle the money, that it’s their job, that’s how they lead the home. I don’t think that’s how you lead the home. I think you actually lead the home and being kind and loving and showing that example. But whoever has that gift, let them handle the budget.

0:10:59 – Kayla

It doesn’t mean I have power.

0:11:02 – Brian

There isn’t a veto.

0:11:03 – Kayla

No, it means that I design our monthly budget and then you and I discuss it and you have say in what may need to shift or how we’re going to allocate funds, but you’re terrified when it comes to actually having to, like deal with the day to day.

0:11:24 – Brian

I’m not, yeah, I can’t. I mean.

0:11:26 – Kayla

So let’s here’s a fun one. Enjoy hobbies.

0:11:31 – Brian

I love to read.

0:11:33 – Kayla

I love to garden, we love to walk. We’ll go walk at the pond, I love walking.

0:11:41 – Brian

I used to play golf a lot. I don’t know anymore because of arthritis, but I want to try to get back into that. I like to fish. I don’t do that a whole lot anymore. It’s kind of expensive. I mean, I’m just cheap. Golf is expensive. Some old books are expensive and I’m like shut up. So oh, all right.

0:11:59 – Kayla

Well, that escalated quickly.

0:12:00 – Brian

Enjoy your hobbies. I like going out on dates with you I’m not sure I’m not. That’s not a hobby but it’s but do things that you enjoy. So I like Godzilla movies. All right, let’s see here. Get enough sleep, that’s a. That’s one.

0:12:17 – Kayla

It’s a big one.

0:12:18 – Brian

Yeah, exercise.

0:12:20 – Kayla

We have found that to be surprisingly helpful.

0:12:23 – Brian

Yes, it. For some reason it helps me work out a lot of my stress and a lot of the things that I worry about. So for me that helps.

0:12:36 – Kayla

Eat healthy. Well you knew it was coming right. I’ve alluded to this before for me controlling how much sugar and you’ve actually seen this in real time with me If I have had too much sugar, I’m anxious, I’m short tempered. It’s just being aware of what fuel your body needs.

0:13:02 – Brian

Something else happens to you as well.

0:13:04 – Kayla

Well, that’s, that’s not important.

0:13:07 – Speaker 1

Okay.

0:13:09 – Kayla

I have a power surge.

0:13:11 – Brian

And I get wrapped up in a blanket, becomes 50 degrees.

0:13:19 – Kayla

That’s what I know. I’ve had too much sugar these plastic plants in the house have got frostbite, okay, so so, for lack of a better term, this next one I called mindful meditation, but I want you to take a couple of minutes and explain this one and how this one has been something you have Sat with this year.

0:13:37 – Brian

There’s been a lot of healing this year. There’s a lot more that has to be done, working with my therapist and all this other kind of stuff. For the first time in 45 I’m trying not to get emotional and Years, y’all years I can sit in a room and Be quiet and the quiet doesn’t scare you and the quiet doesn’t scare me.

There was always so much noise in my head, so much stuff, and I hope that makes sense. I’m done now. Look, there weren’t voices, there was noise, there was so much going on Dialogue and in our voices, inner I can enter tape. Going on. I’m now able to sit in a room without any music, without any TV.

0:14:25 – Kayla

Yeah. And just enjoy the that’s when I noticed the shift is, you would often turn the news on just to have noise in the house.

0:14:33 – Brian

Yeah, you don’t anymore so I think that’s amazing and scares me a little bit. Like who am I? What’s going on here?

0:14:41 – Kayla

and perhaps the most important. For those of you who have a faith journey, you will understand this, but for all of us, we would encourage pursuing Jesus. Yes scripture can give peace and guidance unlike Anything else, and we would be remiss if we did not share that. I have found myself gravitating towards the Psalms many times in hard seasons of life and just feeling radically different from sitting with scripture or just prayer and Seasons of stress.

0:15:16 – Brian

I would also encourage you to trust in the sovereignty of God. Hmm the same thing about pursuing Jesus. Trust him. There is not a single Adam spinning in anywhere. That’s outside of his control. So, whatever you’re walking through, whatever you’re going through, he’s got a purpose, he’s got a plan. It even could be painful, he’s got a purpose, he’s got a plan, but he loves you and he cares for you. So those are some of our tips on yeah, handle stress. All right, you chose this topic.

0:15:52 – Kayla

I Did, and it’s going to be a little bit of a mixed bag, but it’s gonna be a lot of good. I don’t want to dwell on the side of this, but I labeled this a tribute to a complicated relationship and if any of you have one, I Just want to speak some life to you. This week is the nine-year anniversary of my dad passing away. We lost him early in life Due to some complications with Parkinson’s disease. He was not a perfect man, but he was a great man. Those two things can coexist. Yes, he wrestled his own demons. It’s not my story to tell, so I will not Share everything that he struggled with, but there were consequences to it. My parents divorced when I was young, but he stayed in her life and there were a lot of good things that came from having a relationship with him. When I was in college, he wrote to me every single week.

0:16:59 – Brian

Oh.

0:17:00 – Kayla

I got a letter from him. He worked as an office manager for a construction crew and he would send me pictures from the various sites and there was a pig.

0:17:10 – Brian

You carry a briefcase.

0:17:12 – Kayla

Mm-hmm.

0:17:13 – Brian

There was a pig.

0:17:14 – Kayla

There was a pig that he named and fed apples, there were horses, there were donkeys, there were cows, and I got pictures of all of this. Like every week. I would get this new picture for whatever site they were on, and he would just write to me about everything and nothing, and we stayed in touch through most of my college years. He taught me the value of roots, putting down roots with family and wearing your last name. Well, your last name is what you have to be proud of. I was always very proud to be a Kent and he instilled that in me. This is where you come in. He had an amazing spirit of adventure. He loved traveling. He took us to Scotland.

0:18:05 – Brian

He took us to Scotland and we’re driving around Loch Ness.

0:18:10 – Kayla

He so wanted you to go around the whole lot.

0:18:13 – Brian

Yeah, just to go around the whole thing.

0:18:15 – Kayla

But you were struggling with jet lag.

0:18:17 – Brian

that day I was struggling with jet lag and I was struggling to stay awake and I would fade off and he’d go look, there’s Nessie. And I’d wake up looking because I wanted to see the Loch Ness monster and he’d just start laughing. Oh, he’d just start laughing. And another great thing is that we were coming back from that excursion. We’d been out for like three or four days with them up in Scotland and we were driving back and the windshield wipers went out.

0:18:43 – Kayla

Just stopped working.

0:18:44 – Brian

It’s pouring right and so we pulled over the side to this hotel or something and he ordered high tea. Yeah, and we’re all sitting there in this. I remember it was a glass walled room looking outside and we had tea and these little sandwiches.

0:19:04 – Kayla

Yeah.

0:19:05 – Brian

And cookies, I think, were on there, or, as y’all call them, biscuits, biscuits and we had that and it was. I remember we had lunch with him and his wife at the time, her name was Carol. We were in Edinburgh and we were sitting on the grass on a blanket and we had lunch and up above us is the castle is the Edinburgh castle, and that was a great memory. I mean, I have. I loved him. He was great. I remember when we got the internet at home this ages us and they had America online. We had America online and you could video chat, but he couldn’t get the audio to work, so he went and got puppets you remember this and he would role play out things for you on the video. It was hilarious.

0:19:56 – Kayla

Yeah, I don’t know why he had these little puppets. Maybe from room with your kids, I don’t know. You also taught him something. You went through a phase where if I was saying something and it was slightly irritating to you or you didn’t want to hear it, you felt like maybe I was nagging. You would look at me and say love you, kayla.

0:20:16 – Brian

I love you, Kayla.

0:20:17 – Kayla

And he would get so tickled by that, and so he started emulating that with his wife. He’d say I love you, Carol. In other words, be quiet. I’ve heard enough.

0:20:27 – Brian

I’ve heard enough.

0:20:29 – Kayla

But yes.

0:20:30 – Brian

And Kayla, I want to tell you this he loved you. You were the apple of his eye. He adored you, darling.

0:20:36 – Kayla

He loved you too. I think one of the grandest moments was getting to introduce my husband to my dad and watch the two of you, and you just fit together like a glove. You had the same sense of humor, you liked the same things, and so traveling with him was a delight. Spending time with him, it was very, very hard. The last time I said goodbye, because some part of me knew this is the last time, but I will remember him as someone who. He loved life and he lived it full on, and so, yes, there are hard memories as a young child, there are things that I should not have had to remember, but I remember him as this giant.

0:21:35 – Brian

Cling to the good.

0:21:37 – Kayla

So, yes, I would tell you, take the good with the bad and just focus on the things that made you smile, the things that gifted you sweet memories and maybe, if possible, if the trauma isn’t too deep, forgive and give grace, because the older I get, the more I realize I have my own imperfections, they are different from his, but nobody’s going to look back and say, well, she was perfect. But they are going to look back and hopefully have some fun stories. So as I remember him, I do so with both sadness and delight.

0:22:24 – Brian

Well, here we are all up in here crying around. So, excuse us, we got to take a moment, get ourselves together here. But anyway, miss him and yes. I’m thankful for him. So just so, just know that. All right, hey, so while we’re up here snotting around, you can go to our website.

0:22:47 – Kayla

You can win a peas and carrots coffee mug and it comes with the most adorable stickers. Go to our website, look for the trivia button, click that.

0:22:57 – Brian

And our website is peasandcaratspodcastcom. That’s peasandcaratspodcastcom. Click the trivia question. Click the trivia button and this week’s trivia question is let’s see. What will we be replacing very soon in our home?

0:23:15 – Kayla

There we go.

0:23:17 – Brian

What will we be replacing very soon in our home?

0:23:21 – Kayla

So again, go to the peasandcaratspodcastcom, click that trivia button and answer that question. You can search peas and carrots podcast wherever you get your podcast, or visit our website peasandcaratspodcastcom. And when you do, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast.

0:23:36 – Brian

You can also follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Just search for the peas and carrots podcast. How’s your, how you feeling? How’s your bum?

0:23:44 – Kayla

It’s doing okay, just sitting here.

0:23:47 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcaratspodcast.com Growing through the challenges we face and finding hope along the way. That’s the Jesus Fix it podcast with Jess. Check out JesusFixItPodcast.com or search Jesus Fix It wherever you listen to podcasts.

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like peas and carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch Brian and Kayla Sanders.

0:00:11 – Brian

Welcome to the Peas and Carrots Podcast. Hello, I’m Brian, I’m Kayla and welcome to this week’s edition of what’s going on and like our little vegetable patch.

0:00:23 – Kayla

There are two Christmas trees to fully decorated and I hear there could be more and there may be a third.

0:00:30 – Brian

I’m all in this year. There’s one downstairs in the den. It’s seven and a half foot tree.

0:00:35 – Kayla

It’s big yeah. And then there’s a little three foot tree on our end table upstairs.

0:00:42 – Brian

That’s my favorite.

0:00:44 – Kayla

It’s just so soothing to turn on the Christmas lights, drink coffee, sip tea. You’ll play a little Christmas music.

0:00:53 – Brian

I love it. So yeah, even though our Amazon device can’t Figure out, jacked up, she’s yeah, play Avalon’s Christmas album and she goes to some French. Yeah, I’m like that’s not what I’m after, it’s a little frustrating. So, miss Kayla, we’re going on a trip.

0:01:13 – Kayla

We are. We will soon board a plane for the first time in four years.

0:01:20 – Brian

You excited.

0:01:21 – Kayla

I am excited. You nervous a little bit Okay so all the things, but I know it’s good, so yeah.

0:01:29 – Brian

I’m excited we hadn’t been on a plane in four years. We have. Go through the Atlanta airport and.

0:01:36 – Kayla

I love Atlanta airport. I know some people don’t, I just do so.

0:01:42 – Brian

All the little shops.

0:01:43 – Kayla

No, it’s just, I think, because, being from England, every time we would fly we would come in through Atlanta and I just I know the airport really well. I’m comfortable there. Don’t at me, charlotte airport makes me crazy.

0:02:01 – Brian

I think I’ve done that twice To get from here to there.

0:02:05 – Kayla

It’s crazy.

0:02:06 – Brian

So yeah, I remember one time we had to run across the airport literally yeah. I could. I skipped my little heart exam that year that was nuts. So, and finally, from our home to yours, yes, we want to wish you a very happy Thanksgiving.

0:02:25 – Kayla

Yeah, so this episode will actually drop Next week. We’re recording a week ahead and from us to you, thank you for joining us here, for engaging with us, for laughing along, for listening, for commenting. It is delightful getting to know some of you. We’ve had some great emails and text messages, phone calls, so we look forward to continuing to do life from our little vegetable patch, as we call it.

0:02:56 – Brian

So take a few moments and watch the parade and eat some turkey, have some stuff.

0:03:02 – Kayla

Yes, take a nap.

0:03:03 – Brian

Mashed potatoes. Yeah, that’s one of your favorite. That’s about your favorite thing on the table.

0:03:08 – Kayla

Just give me a roll and a big bowl of mashed potatoes and I’m good, warm out of the oven roll and then that sweet potato thing you make. Oh yes, sweet potato casserole.

0:03:23 – Brian

Yeah, yeah.

0:03:25 – Kayla

Anyway, before we get stuck, here, put nuts on it.

0:03:28 – Brian

This, not this year, oh kill me. Oh, there’s that. But happy Thanksgiving. Yes, home to yours. We have talked a lot about how we communicate as a couple. Mm-hmm and how we talk about everything, and so we thought it would be good If we slowed down and we dove into that a little bit deep.

0:03:53 – Kayla

It’s one of the things we get the most questions about. You and I get the privilege of mentoring younger couples. We also have some friends who’ve asked how in the world do you to communicate as much as you do? Now we may have an unfair advantage that we do work together. Yep, so we spend every single day together. We get to see each other a couple of times a day, but this is something that it seems to be the the real curiosity of a lot of people. So, yeah, we’re going to share with you how we call them our core tenants of communication.

0:04:37 – Brian

Let me set this up for you real quick, for those friends listening. We are not saying that Brian and Kayla do not argue. We’re not saying that we never disagree. We’re not saying that we don’t. And we’re not saying we’re perfect at this In any way, shape or form, but we are saying that having healthy communication, in my opinion, makes for a better relationship. Okay, yeah, so this isn’t on our on our list, but I want to say this you genuinely need to enjoy the person who you’re married to.

0:05:14 – Kayla

Yeah.

0:05:15 – Brian

What I mean by that, and I even told you this yesterday I enjoy doing stuff with you, I enjoy going places, I enjoy being with you, I enjoy listening to you, I enjoy talking with you. That’s a big part of this. It isn’t enough just to love the person.

0:05:35 – Kayla

You’re not business partners. No, you are your life partner. Your life partners and you genuinely are my best friend when I think of something that I want to do or say, or you’re typically involved in it.

0:05:52 – Brian

So Same.

0:05:54 – Kayla

So, with that frame of reference, we just want to share a few things that we have found that hopefully will be helpful to you. So the first one is resist the urge to proclaim Well, we simply don’t have time or energy for that. We’ve been there. There was a season of life where B you would leave on Sunday afternoon or Monday morning on the Red Eye flight.

0:06:17 – Brian

Fly to Atlanta.

0:06:19 – Kayla

You would do Atlanta for the week and come home on Friday night or Saturday morning and be home for a week gone for a week, home for a week, gone for a week. We did that for about a year. We still found ways to make communication a priority. It takes great intention to stay plugged in as a couple and that needs to be a priority.

You need to be, and it may look like you have to talk after the kids go to bed or get up earlier in the morning and I know I can almost sense the eye roll, but it’s that important that you find ways to be on the same page.

0:06:56 – Brian

There are guys out there listening right now. There are men listening right now who, every day, you make notes in your phone as to things that you need to accomplish tomorrow. There’s a trick as things happen in your day, why not write them down so that when you get home, you have a few things on that list that you can tell your wife about, so that whenever she asks you how was work, you don’t just say, no, it was all right, it’s all right. You actually have a list of things. In other words, prioritize that relationship the same way you would do your work. In other words, be intentional about planning a conversation with your wife or with your husband. I mean, it doesn’t take that much for me. I just sit there and I walk through my day with you. I met with this person and we had this conversation.

0:07:48 – Kayla

Or you share a funny story and vice versa.

0:07:51 – Brian

Yeah, something like that. So be intentional about that. For me, that’s what I mean by intentional Plan your conversation.

0:07:59 – Kayla

Yeah.

0:08:00 – Brian

So, secondly, there are no secrets. We talk about everything.

0:08:06 – Kayla

We do.

0:08:06 – Brian

Yeah, and sometimes that’s great. Sometimes it gets heated, but when it does get heated it’s fine too. We know, with that we don’t have to agree on every single topic, okay, but when it comes to a public face, yeah, you’re not going to find us divided. No, let me say that. No, but we do talk about Ever but we don’t hide things from each other.

0:08:33 – Kayla

No, that makes me nervous which lends to the next one. This is a big deal for us and this may make us sound like pilgrims, but I don’t care. We avoid private conversations with people of the opposite gender, and let me explain this. There are multiple times throughout the week that someone may initiate a private conversation with me or with you. If it’s not a business Conversation, we will loop the other person in. I have added you to a texting thread and you’ve added me to a texting thread multiple times. Something can begin so innocently but lend to an intimacy that should not exist.

Let me say that again. Something so innocent Can lend to an intimacy that should not exist. There is certain conversation that should only be happening Between you and your partner. Something should not be shared with other people.

0:09:40 – Brian

I agree, I’ve looped you in on text and whenever there’s somebody of opposite sex who texted me, I’ll show you what’s going on. It isn’t that we don’t trust each other, it’s that builds.

0:09:51 – Kayla

It’s guardrails, guardrails.

0:09:53 – Brian

The next one is something that I fell at daily Tone matters.

0:09:59 – Kayla

You’re being nice, I’m the one that probably struggles with this more.

0:10:02 – Brian

I struggle with this.

0:10:03 – Kayla

Don’t how you say, it is just as important as what you say true. So yeah tone.

0:10:09 – Brian

So watch it, and for me, I just don’t think about it. Yeah and that can often lead to things. I have to apologize.

0:10:16 – Kayla

So what if? What if a person comes to us and we do get this question and they say well, my gosh, what? What do you talk to each other about daily? What do you ask each other? Well, don’t you live life? I will ask don’t you have thought? But get beyond the Surface, so dear. How was your day? How’s your heart?

0:10:36 – Brian

What are you struggling with?

0:10:37 – Kayla

What are you struggling with?

0:10:39 – Brian

What are you celebrating?

0:10:40 – Kayla

Yeah, what did you do today that made you happy? Those are what frustrated you today, so just go deeper, ask questions that are gonna force more than a yes or no response.

0:10:54 – Brian

What we call. Those are open-ended questions. Yeah so avoid making your spouse read your mind Be clear never done this be clear, kind, honest and open with your communication. A healthy marriage is built upon braving hard topics, opening your mind and heart and facing Confrontation and being a good listener.

0:11:17 – Kayla

That’s a lot, but I mean it just is yeah.

0:11:20 – Brian

So this is the big thing. Don’t try and read their mind, don’t assume what they’re thinking. Ask, yeah, and often this is something that cracks me up KSA, be what. You thinking about nothing, and this has been Conversation between us for 30 years, and it’s true. How do you think about nothing that well?

0:11:40 – Kayla

women all over the world Can’t comprehend.

0:11:44 – Brian

I don’t understand that.

0:11:45 – Kayla

How can y’all not just and that’s another podcast topic for another day. But I want to go back to something you said here. This is not just about Sharing the highs of the day. Sometimes it’s the lows and sometimes it’s the frustrations, even with each other. And something that I think breaks down communication is people are avoiding confrontation. As a couple, you have to be comfortable with having hard conversations and Sometimes that is gonna look like well, what you opened with you may have a little fight and Hopefully you fight fair. So yeah, which lends to this Listen to understand, don’t always listen to respond.

Yeah, don’t always be forming your next thought because, because we’re listening.

0:12:38 – Brian

How do I respond to that? How do I answer that question? Listen to what they’re saying. In other words, yeah, oftentimes repeat back to that person what they’re saying and say and say are you saying this?

0:12:51 – Kayla

Mm-hmm, so that you can grasp it and then you have a few more, just a couple of Be agreeable.

0:12:57 – Brian

Yeah, be agreeable. Yes, don’t be somebody who just sucks on lemons all day and you’re just Salivary or you’re spoiling for a fight.

0:13:06 – Kayla

Yeah.

0:13:07 – Brian

I mean, everybody gets up every now and then, like you know, I could whip the empire today. Don’t do that you know, don’t be kind At the end. Be on the same page. Here’s what I mean by that. You don’t have to agree about it. Now, I do think that you should agree about spending money, yes, and that kind of stuff and communication, but there might be specific topics.

0:13:32 – Kayla

We have friends who they’re at different ends of the spectrum politically, socially but at the end of the day, they’ve learned to have healthy conversation about it.

0:13:41 – Brian

Yes, so find a way to be on the same page and then discuss it. Yeah, I’m gonna go back to this point. Enjoy the person you’re married to. Yes, enjoy the conversations.

0:13:56 – Kayla

Because then you’ll delight in it.

0:14:01 – Brian

Are we weird? A little bit, a little bit, are you drowning over there?

0:14:08 – Kayla

Sorry, as I choke myself. So we have few questions. Okay, well, more thoughts. But the question is Do these things make us weird and are you weird too? And if you are weird, welcome to our weirdness.

0:14:25 – Brian

So yeah, first, we watch less than five hours of TV a week.

0:14:31 – Kayla

We are readers.

0:14:32 – Brian

Does that make us weird?

0:14:34 – Kayla

Maybe, but I’m good with it.

0:14:35 – Brian

I mean sometimes the TV doesn’t like you turn on the Christmas tree.

0:14:39 – Kayla

Yeah because our Christmas tree is already up and You’ll or we’ll just we’ll have music playing in the background, or or just silence and we’ll just read.

0:14:48 – Brian

So yeah, does that make us weird?

0:14:50 – Kayla

We rarely eat out, and this is for two reasons. One, because, with your allergies, it’s scary, but also we like being at home and we like cooking and so yeah, so does that make us weird? We’re not big on takeout or or Picking up dinner yeah, oh. Okay, so this one I admit this nothing personal we will remember a dog’s name quicker than a human’s name. I’m sorry, love, y’all mean it, but if you have a dog, we’re gonna remember them a whole lot faster.

0:15:30 – Brian

I follow more pet pages on Instagram.

0:15:33 – Kayla

Oh, me too yeah.

0:15:35 – Brian

I mean yes, so I can like we were taught. There’s this one little guy on Instagram. His name’s Radar.

0:15:41 – Kayla

Oh, it’s so good.

0:15:42 – Brian

And he feeds him a snack.

0:15:43 – Kayla

He’s feeding him snacks from his, like a brother’s name. I don’t know his owner’s name, I know in that and he’s on there every day.

0:15:50 – Brian

Yep, but I can’t remember his name, but I remember the dog’s name. So yeah, that’s us. We don’t sleep well if the house is above 60 degrees.

0:15:59 – Kayla

Can’t handle it. Does that make us weird? Makes us frozen, but Maybe not weird let it go. And a fan.

0:16:10 – Brian

We have to have a fan on yeah. So we actually like the room to be cold, but we like to have the blankets, I mean oh, we got a bundle of blankets, but yeah, there’s nothing like being buried under six blankets. But then when we get up the morning we’re like your toes have frostbite.

0:16:26 – Kayla

Yeah yeah, cuz see, this is a key part of this equation. You’re under six blankets, but one foot has to be hanging out so that like regulates the temperature. Does anybody else do that? Is that weird?

0:16:38 – Brian

though I think we’re weird. We’re weird. We actually talk to each other. Yeah, we don’t ignore each other, we don’t. We actually tell each other what we’re thinking, how our hearts are, what’s going through our minds. So we is that make us weird? Maybe, I don’t know.

0:16:55 – Kayla

We stick together and we love spending time together. We do yeah we do, we like going people find it weird that you actually Enjoy going shopping with me. I enjoy Going places with you. Now, that doesn’t mean that you don’t have guy friends and it doesn’t mean that I don’t have other friends, but we enjoy you spending time together and we’ve been teased for that before, but Right do y’all ever go places separately? Rarely.

0:17:27 – Brian

Rarely. Wow, you got a problem with that. You wanna fight? No, I’m kidding. If we do watch television, it’s often our favorite show, is it’s not new stuff?

0:17:39 – Kayla

And we’ll watch them over and over again.

0:17:42 – Brian

The West Wing.

0:17:43 – Kayla

We have like summer TV viewing, fall TV viewing, winter TV viewing.

0:17:49 – Brian

The West Wing.

0:17:50 – Kayla

We watch the West Wing every winter.

0:17:52 – Brian

Gilmore Girls. Every fall Yellowstone.

0:17:58 – Kayla

That’s probably falls in the summer, yeah.

0:18:01 – Brian

Let’s see here what else. I watched the Star Wars movies over and over again.

0:18:05 – Kayla

Yeah, I watched Harry Potter over and over again, as if that’s on TV. Sorry, we just lost some mail, but no, but Just being honest.

0:18:14 – Brian

I like Harry Potter, but he’s on every weekend.

0:18:18 – Kayla

Moving on. Finally, we will have impromptu dance sessions. We will. You’ll turn on Frank Sinatra, I’ll be cooking dinner and we’ll just have like a little impromptu dance session while dinner cooks Does that make us weird. I’m sure our neighbors are getting kick out of it.

0:18:37 – Brian

Yeah, I’m wondering if our neighbors like and came behind us watch us like.

0:18:40 – Kayla

But no so.

0:18:42 – Brian

There you go.

0:18:43 – Kayla

What makes you weird, and weird is wonderful, so let’s end with that. Just because it may seem weird to the rest of the world. What is wonderfully weird about?

0:18:54 – Brian

you. After 30 years of marriage, we still hold hands.

0:18:58 – Kayla

We do.

0:18:59 – Brian

We still kiss every day when we leave it, when we depart to go to our offices and that kind of stuff.

0:19:04 – Kayla

Anyway, before we make this awkward for people, that’s our list of what makes us weird. What?

0:19:09 – Brian

makes us weird. So there you go. Hey, we’d like to send you a coffee mug and a pack of stickers. We would, and Miss Kayla loves the stickers.

0:19:18 – Kayla

Y’all come on. They’re just the cutest and they’ll look so good on your water bottles and your laptops and your journals. Yeah, your kids will enjoy them.

0:19:30 – Brian

You’re a sticker fan. I love stickers yeah well.

0:19:33 – Kayla

Yeah, go to our website peasandcarrotspodcastcom. Look for the trivia button, click that. And our question for you what is one wonderfully weird thing about you?

0:19:45 – Brian

Okay, Please don’t say that you’re missing like three toes, like that’s not what we’re talking about.

0:19:51 – Kayla

okay, well, I mean, if that’s what they need to get off their chest. Let them do it, but yeah, so go to our website, which is I’m gonna get some interesting answers.

0:20:02 – Brian

Go ahead.

0:20:04 – Kayla

What’s our website?

0:20:07 – Brian

peasandcarrotspodcastcom.

0:20:10 – Kayla

And answer that question how you got it. You can also search peasandcarrots podcast. Wherever you get your podcasts, or visit our website peasandcarrotspodcastcom. When you do, please don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast.

0:20:23 – Brian

Okay, you can also follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Just search for the peasandcarrots podcast. Somebody’s gonna be offended that I said three toes.

0:20:31 – Kayla

No, somebody’s gonna respond. Well, there’s probably better.

0:20:34 – Announcer

For more about the peas and carrots podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcastcom. Laughter with good friends, no matter how bumpy the road gets. That’s what’s waiting for you with every episode of another great podcast Quirks, Bumps and Bruises with Melody and Candy. Subscribe today, wherever you listen.