Season Come and Season Go - Episode Description

This episode of The Peas & Carrots Podcast takes the listeners on a personal journey through the hosts’ experiences with food, body image, and emotional well-being. The hosts share their personal struggles with emotional eating, mindful dieting, and navigating tempting food choices in a world that often encourages unhealthy habits. They also recount their travel tales, discussing their food adventures, hilarious incidents, and serious conversations about food allergies. They share their experiences of the power of companionship in navigating this journey. 

Fear Not - Transcript

0:00:00 – Narrator

We go together like Peas and Carrots! The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch Brian and Kayla Sanders.


0:00:11 –

Welcome to the peas and carrots podcast. I’m Brian and I’m Kayla.


0:00:20 – Kayla

I Am so excited, so there is this scene here we go for those of you, I’m gonna have my moment here we go. For those of you that have watched the West Wing made a comment yes, there is an episode in which the first lady has messed up and President Bartlett tells her you just stand there in your wrongness and be wrong. And she tries to Like argue and he says, no, no, no, you just stand there.


0:00:56 – Brian

So you are. You’re on the verge of a little duty. Yeah, you’re gloating.


0:01:00 – Kayla

Okay, I’m sorry.

So what would you like to admit? I’m all ears. I.


0:01:15 – Brian

I was wrong … you were right, well, usually about everything, but in this one instance you bought me a Darth Vader notebook, so, and I’ve been trying to figure out how to use it, and so what I started doing is every day I write out my day.


0:01:39 – Kayla

So basically, you’re using it as what?


0:01:41 – Brian

it’s like a daily journal planner as a planner and it has been very helpful to me. It is, and I know that I criticized I Planners. The snark is strong with this one today. So, yes, so it’s so it.


Kayla:You’ve seen the value and in all seriousness, you see how it does help to love the so much that how many are arriving at the house. I’ve ordered you 10 more Darth Vader notebooks. Yes, so a lifetime supply.


0:02:18 – Brian

So, yes we should have a lifetime supply of cake so Speaking what’s up?


0:02:26 – Kayla

in the world of peas and carrots, besides you standing in your wrongness and being wrong, well, first of all, we had a fake fall Labor Day. Yeah, it was.


0:02:38 – Brian

It was like fake fall, but you know how you bought all the fall flowers and the house is beautiful. I mean, she’s got I don’t know what these, what are flowers called? Anyway, they’re flowers.


0:02:48 – Kayla

Well, there’s mums there’s. Oh, I did some other things too, but anyway, there’s all this fall. Yeah, it’s all the fall color and Then it went from like 75 to 90.


0:03:02 – Brian

Yeah, they’re whimpering, yeah, so it’s, uh, it’s it’s not good, but you sweat lots of watering


0:03:11 – Kayla

and but yeah, I saw it’s so funny because I saw people at the store in cardigans over the weekend and I thought, oh honey, you’re gonna be shedding that by Monday.


0:03:22 – Brian

So yeah, I saw a lady walking her dog around town, it was 58.


0:03:28 – Kayla

She had on a winter coat. I’m a little worried for her, seriously. When it gets to January she won’t be walking the dog. So yeah, so yeah, hang in there, friends, fall will return hopefully but we had fake fall and here we are fake. Well, have you seen that thing where it’s like spring, winters back?


0:03:50 – Brian

Oh, they like fake, fake summer yeah.


0:03:53 – Kayla

Then yeah, so where are we? We’re in fake fall. Oh yeah, you had a rough day on Sunday rough two days, well, yeah started Saturday night but we made the mistake of letting our guard down. And what happened?


0:04:10 – Brian

Yeah, I had a Ate, something I probably shouldn’t have eaten. I thought it was okay, but I ate it, and I had a major reaction allergic reaction.


0:04:20 – Kayla



0:04:21 – Brian

Rash all over. My lips went nuts.


0:04:25 – Kayla

They swelled.


0:04:26 – Brian

Swelled. We watched me for breathing issues and that kind of stuff and we never got to that closest I’ve ever gotten to taking you to urgent care for this. Yeah so, so that particular restaurant we’re not gonna name. It is off, is off the table for now. Yeah so I’m very sad.


0:04:44 – Kayla

It’s like and it was one of the very, very few places that we thought would be safe. So all I can figure is something’s changed.


0:04:52 – Brian

Yeah, there’s some kind of something. Something happened so, but I’m alive, I’m good.


0:04:57 – Kayla

You are, but it was a little scary scared you to death and that kind of stuff I’m figuring.


0:05:02 – Brian

If this is how I got to go, at least it was something good.


0:05:05 – Kayla

Oh, okay, so.


0:05:07 – Brian

That’s a. Is that a bad way to look at it? Oh, for me, yeah, you’ll be okay, you’ll get lots of life insurance oh.


0:05:15 – Kayla

Wow, okay, any who.


0:05:20 – Brian

So that’s what’s up in the world. He’s in carrots. Speaking of food, yes, we’ve been traveling this week, you and I. We’ve gone to several of our radio state Well, our radio stations, but the stations of the, our teams, yeah, our teams and on the way back, we were talking about food.


0:05:44 – Kayla

There’s been quite an evolution with food as relates to both of us, and so we shared with each other a lot of thoughts, and so we decided to share those here, because we know, to some degree, everyone struggles with some level of food issue or body image, and food ties into that a lot. So, specifically, we were talking about how we view food versus how we used to.


0:06:19 – Brian

Okay for me. Okay, let me just say this, and if you know me, you know I’m a large man, but I’m down. Officially looks to be about 80 pounds. Okay, I’m very close to being at a key number. I’m not gonna announce that number here because blah, blah, blah, but I’ve been losing. It seems to be about two pounds a week now Since I’ve started this walking and that kind of stuff. Food is a mistress for me and let me explain that. It’s a comfort If I’m in an emotional state, if I’m angry, if I’m stressed, if I am nervous.


0:07:02 – Kayla

You’re an emotional eater, I’m an emotional eater, or you used to be Used to be.


0:07:06 – Brian

I would go to like Popeyes or KFC and give me a three piece meal with some sides and I’d have a party, because that little chicken can’t talk back to me. That little chicken loves me.


0:07:22 – Kayla

And for that few minutes it would make you feel in control and it would make you feel better.


0:07:27 – Brian

I would go to like I’d get a hamburger and some fries. Oh, I’d feel better. I remember one time when we lived in New Orleans, I had a horrible day, horrible day at work, and I had the opportunity to like leave the station and like go out to appointments. So I left the station and I remember I went to the West Bank and I went to Dunkin Donuts or Krispy Kreme and I got a dozen donuts and I ate all 12 of them.


0:07:55 – Kayla

Never knew that. So it’s a I would have asked for at least one.


0:08:01 – Brian

But with some cold chocolate milk.


0:08:04 – Kayla

Oh my word. How did you not end up in a coma?


0:08:07 – Brian

Well, I got diabetes. Now it’s that guy says I got the diabetes now. So for me, food has always been a comfort. It’s always been a place to go to that’s safe, that’s it’s like if you have a wound. That food is a sad yeah.


0:08:26 – Kayla

And you’ve worked. I’m really proud of you. The last 18 or so months you’ve worked really hard to figure out what you’re sitting with and what you’re feeling, and not use food to fix it.


0:08:40 – Brian

And that has.


0:08:41 – Kayla

And that’s hard. Well, that’s hard work.


0:08:43 – Brian

Some of that is because, out of the 50 things they tested me for, I’m allergic to 49 of them.


0:08:49 – Kayla

Yeah. So God said, God kind of forced your hand on this. God said here I want to help you with this.


0:08:53 – Brian

He took all that away. So I’m having to view food as something that helps me live, not something that helps me to be happy.


0:09:02 – Kayla

What is it? I have a relative that once said your grandma said to us I want to make sure I get this right, you should live to eat. You should eat to live.


0:09:13 – Brian

I remember that, that we went to England and somebody asked about food and your grandmother said Americans, y’all live to eat, Live to eat. She says I eat to live.


0:09:26 – Kayla

And I’ve never, that really stuck with us.


0:09:29 – Brian

Yeah, it really stuck with me and I don’t want to say but this is what’s funny.


0:09:31 – Kayla

I’ll say you don’t really know what you’re doing I shared with you when it.


When it comes to me and food, I view food as a reward, because what’s hilarious in that is, every time we visited grandma, she took us down to the candy shop and if I was good or I made a good decision, I got food as a reward or as a treat. Growing up so as an adult and this is what got me in trouble during COVID if I felt like I’d had a good day or I’d survived it, I let myself have some kind of treat at the end of the day, and that became almost a daily habit. And so, 10 pounds later, I realized you have to reframe your thinking about food.


And a lot of it for me was sugar, and that’s what I had to really sit with is I crave all these things because I’ve told myself, well, I deserve this. I can have that chocolate eclair because I was good today and I got this project finished, or I didn’t go off on this person when I could have, or yeah.


0:10:52 – Brian

It’s food, a reward for me. I like to celebrate things.


0:10:56 – Kayla

But you don’t withhold it, like I tend to, if you don’t think you’ve earned it, and so I had to really reframe that. I can have that, but not just because the motivation was I think I was good in some way.


0:11:14 – Brian

To those of you who are listening in, like you struggle with like food stuff as well. I have not found, and I don’t think we have found, the perfect answer yet.


0:11:24 – Kayla

No, we’re still. This is a journey.


0:11:26 – Brian

So, for me, how am I reframing this? Well, for me, first of all, a lot of foods now can actually kill me. Okay, so that’s the first thing I have to consider. I can’t run to like Bojangles and get like a three piece chicken meal that could kill me. You know, it just could. Secondly, I need to sit with the pain, with the upsetness, and deal with it and not slap it with a hamburger.


0:12:03 – Kayla



0:12:04 – Brian

And has that caused me some mental anguish? Yes, I go through bouts of loneliness and like melancholy and I and we’ve talked about this, but I’d rather sit with that and be on a health journey than to be on this hamster wheel.


0:12:24 – Kayla

Yeah, where it’s that plus regret, right yeah.


0:12:29 – Brian

And I’m not a sonic hamburger. Third, food is a gift from God, but it’s not meant to be abused.


0:12:37 – Kayla



0:12:39 – Brian

So and that’s hard for me, because I enjoy celebrating stuff with people I enjoy going out. I’m having lunch today with a friend and I’m already very nervous about where we’re going to go eat or we’re going to have yeah, how, how much should I eat? But I will say this we are changing our eating habits.


0:13:02 – Kayla

Oh, very much so. When I came to the realization that, basically, I was addicted to sugar every day, I was excited about well, what am I going to get to have today? Will it be cookies? Will it be cake? Will it be a donut? Will we go buy our daily bread and I’ll get me a scone or a chocolate eclair?


I knew I had an issue with food and I can only speak to my journey, and we do not want to minimize anyone who has food struggles. If anything, we’ve mad respect for you. Yeah, I had to accept the truth that I have a zero tolerance for a lot of sugar. It was. You’ve even said this. You’ve noticed that since I’ve stepped back from eating sugar, I don’t struggle with anxiety as much, I’m not as nervous about things and, honestly, my body feels better. I’m not sure if that makes any sense at all, unless you’ve been through this yourself, but I just I don’t have inflammation, I don’t feel achy, I’m not sluggish, because I don’t have that three o’clock crash after I’ve had too much sugar for the first part of the day. I mean, there’s nothing more comforting I’m just keeping it real than a really good hot cup of coffee with a blueberry scone. But then three o’clock comes and it’s like I’m just going to curl up under my desk and take a nap.


0:14:38 – Brian

You’ll come back later. Oh my goodness, no.


0:14:42 – Kayla

But I have felt the difference, which is enough to encourage me. Just yesterday Y’all, it looked so good One of the stations we were visiting they had secured a cookie cake to celebrate a team member’s birthday and I felt really proud of myself that I didn’t even go over there to the cake. I stayed away from it because I knew that that was too much temptation for me and I did not want to be miserable after having that and then all of the effects that I would feel.


0:15:20 – Brian

Sugar isn’t a big deal for me, like candy.


0:15:23 – Kayla

It never has been.


0:15:25 – Brian

But, but give you a bag of potato chips or a bag of potato chips or, like a baked potato. I could eat rice every day of my life.


0:15:34 – Kayla

See, I could pass on that.


0:15:36 – Brian

I’d eat rice every single day of my life, put some gravy over it, some beef tips, put some red beans and rice and sausage over it, which I’ve been craving lately. So for me, for example, over the weekend I made a what we call a veggie bucket. We bought these little mini cucumbers, cherry tomatoes and carrots, and that’s what I snacked on.


0:16:03 – Kayla

And we have other things that are not in your veggie bucket because you’re not a fan, and that’s okay. Such as Well, there’s like broccoli and cauliflower. I’m not a cow.


0:16:17 – Brian

If I want that, I’ll go out in the yard and pick up some grass and throw it in there with the tomatoes. Oh, okay.


0:16:23 – Kayla

So but yeah, it’s being mindful of what we reach for. Okay and that’s, and I’m just keeping it real. I’m not fully there yet. I’ve given up donuts and cake and cookies, but I have done a swap out which I know my trainer has even said you’re gonna need to give that up at some point. I’m doing a lot of fruit which has its own sugar and I get that.


0:16:52 – Brian

So it’s a progress thing. It’s not a finish line yet and I’m gonna say something here that’s gonna be very hard but needs to be said People sell millions of books a year promising you these easy solutions and how to break a sugar fat Y’all. It’s the hardest thing you’ll ever do. Anybody who promises you that it’s easy they’re lying. There is no three step quick system to this.


0:17:19 – Kayla

No, because you can establish all the habits that you want to. If you don’t drill down on the psychology of eating, you’ll never really truly change.


0:17:30 – Brian

So I mean and I’m still struggling with that, to be honest with you.


0:17:36 – Kayla

But you’re doing great.


0:17:37 – Brian

I’m proud of you. The gym almost killed me today but started a new routine. But that’s a whole other segment for a whole different show.


0:17:49 – Kayla

You wanna care it.


0:17:52 – Brian

By the way, do you know? I can have Oreos. They are allergen free. I can have all the Oreos I want.


0:17:58 – Kayla

No, you can’t.


0:17:59 – Brian

No, well, there you go, hide and watch.


0:18:07 – Kayla

So we are going to keep this as PG as possible.


0:18:12 – Brian

Inside of me lives a 12 year old boy. That’s why I’m saying Okay, there’s a story in the news about a Delta flight Was leaving Atlanta to go to Barcelona. Somebody on the flight?


0:18:25 – Kayla

Had a digestive issue. That’s how we’re going to couch this.


0:18:31 – Brian

They tried to make it to the bathroom. They crapped all over the plane.


0:18:34 – Kayla

Well, that went off the rail.


0:18:35 – Brian

The news report actually said it dribbled down the aisle. I’m sorry y’all.


0:18:42 – Kayla

I was attempting to keep this very PG.


0:18:45 – Brian

So, as we were talking about, yes, all of this is true.


0:18:48 – Kayla

And this poor person?


0:18:50 – Brian

I just my heart goes out to this poor person. She went to the person. I’m thinking if I’m sitting on that plane, if I would be dying, I would probably have to have a mask on to not smell it, but I’d probably be laughing my tail off, you would be.


0:19:08 – Kayla

Oh, I’d be gut wrecked for that person.


0:19:11 – Brian

Okay now and you just went to this place and we have a friend named Tori that we saw this week and you both went to the same place. You felt like, what if I was that person?


0:19:22 – Kayla



0:19:24 – Brian

And you both said you were hiding.


0:19:25 – Kayla

This led to a conversation about irrational fears.


0:19:29 – Narrator

Yes, that we have.


0:19:30 – Kayla

Because I’m going to confess I know some of you know this from listening to other episodes I am the worst case scenario queen. I will write an entire script of what’s the worst thing that could happen as we example travel. This is the worst case scenario for me. We are on a flight Getting the crap and I have an issue like this and there’s nothing I can do about it. You can go to the bathroom, but you get fussed out if you stay in there too long.


0:20:02 – Brian

If you tell them what’s going on, they’ll want you to stay in there.


0:20:04 – Kayla

Well, there’s that, but seriously, this poor human that had this issue and then just this again, it taps into another fear that I have, and I’ve worked. Covid broke me a little bit of this. I am like a germ of fobe. I just I used to be that person that was terrified of everything and anything. Well, thanks, COVID, you took care of that.


0:20:31 – Brian

Somebody coughs in church, she turns around.


0:20:33 – Kayla

I kind of have to catch myself like what is this? What’s wrong with you? So we started talking about Our fears, and what does that look like? And so what would you say is one of your fears be? Okay, mine are a little bit crazy, because I can’t they’re not there’s, I can’t struggle with because I can’t control it like well, I can’t control any of mine, but we can go to the bathroom.


0:20:59 – Brian

Well, I can’t control if it hits, though, but anyway, Sorry, I remember y’all said yes, if you were that person, you wouldn’t leave.


0:21:10 – Kayla

I would not leave that plane until. I would be there until dusk and everyone else would have to have left the airport because I would not want anyone filming. Well, there’s the person I Mean. It’s bad enough that footage is emerging of the plane itself, which that’s a whole, nother, but anyway One of yours one of mine.


0:21:31 – Brian

How do I take care of Kay after I’m gone?


0:21:34 – Kayla



0:21:36 – Brian

That’s a fear of mine. Oh, bless you because I have all this life insurance set up.


0:21:43 – Kayla

Well, that’s how you take care of someone.


0:21:46 – Brian

How do I comfort you? How do I? I worry about that, like how do I Comfort you, how do I?


0:21:52 – Kayla

don’t be leaving me creepy voice messages or something.


0:21:57 – Brian

So I’ve actually thought about do I write you like a hundred letters for the first 100 days after?


0:22:02 – Kayla

oh my gosh.


0:22:04 – Brian

So I don’t, I don’t know okay.


0:22:05 – Kayla

Well, I feel really shallow now because one of my irrational fears is Having a tire blow you can call me while we’re, while I’m traveling somewhere, we’ll take care of it.


0:22:18 – Brian

And here’s my thing a problem that can be solved by like money isn’t a problem, because you can always earn more money.


0:22:26 – Kayla

Okay, well, this one. I had to laugh when I saw that you had written this this actually happened. It actually happened to you, so it’s a real fear.


0:22:34 – Brian

I lack a rear end. All of my fat is in my gut.


0:22:45 – Kayla

So what happened to you one time when you stood up?


0:22:49 – Brian

we were in an HR meeting. Oh, what we’re gonna do and I think we’re on a budget meeting or we’re on a budget meeting, but the HR director was in the meeting and I stood up, but your pants did, did not. And I remember our HR director, deborah. Oh my god. And we had our my. We had my number one on the zoom. His name is Adam. He’s like oh god, oh, oh no, is that red? Is that red?


Underwear oh gosh yeah, so and so I Not necessarily an irrational so when we go out to eat somewhere which is very rare now I’m always afraid that my pants are gonna stay down whenever I stand up. So and then that’s happened to me before I was hauling in, okay, this past weekend.


0:23:42 – Kayla

You were helping carry in groceries.


0:23:44 – Brian

I was helping. She had bought these Crates that you store it’s plastic toes. You bought these plastic totes because you wanted to reorganize your Christmas closet, but that’s a whole nother topic for another show. So I had like three or four of these and I’m walking in you shorts Didn’t we got to the very edge of the garage, my shorts fell and a neighbor drives by. Neighbor drives by and there’s neighbors out in the front.


0:24:10 – Kayla

I don’t think any of them saw anything. You were in the garage. I tell everybody what you did laughed and then tried to like shield you, but I laughed first. I’m sorry.


0:24:22 – Brian

So yeah, that happens.


0:24:23 – Kayla

So I’m very I have an irrational fear of saying something really awkward. I just because it’s because it’s happened and we will not know, we will not share that. Yes.


0:24:34 – Brian

No, yes, I want you to. We don’t. We won’t say any names, but tell what. What did you do that day?


0:24:41 – Kayla

No, okay, no, no, no sorry, it’s not a story for the podcast, it was. It was really awkward. I just am. I can be awkward and replace words with words that should not be said and or say something. Okay, so one I will share. Yeah, so I actually y’all I.


Walked okay, I thought you were sorry. I thought you were talking about another story. Um, I Walked into our office one day and there was an older lady who worked with us at the time and she had fixed her hair in a way that she had this big pink clip in the very front of her head. I meant to think this and not say it, but I actually, out loud, said bad hair day. And she went huh, and I went what? And I said great hair today and turn around and walked out of the office. So I just I have this tremendous fear of saying this lady was wearing this pink clippy. It was really awkward and I’m I’m known for that. So, yeah, you have one, that it’s something you struggle with all the time something breaking in the house.


0:25:57 – Brian

I Don’t have any domestic skills. I can’t fix a car. I can’t do any of that kind of crap.


0:26:06 – Kayla

Toilet breaks but again not to quote someone, but quote someone money can fix it. There’s not something you should fear because you can earn more money.


0:26:15 – Brian

Somebody says well, what if you can’t afford it? Well, honey, they make credit cards, you know, so there’s something. So yeah, we have all these different service companies on speed dial?


0:26:25 – Kayla

We do, and so I don’t worry about that, but I get it.


0:26:28 – Brian

See, I get that you worry, what damage will the break do?


0:26:32 – Kayla

Okay, fair enough.


0:26:34 – Brian

So yeah, so that’s, that’s me.


0:26:36 – Kayla

So I have kind of a serious irrational fear, and I think it’s from just from some life experience and it’s something I’ve really worked on the last couple of years. I used to have a very strong fear of rejection and I think some of that takes care of itself as you age and you figure out who you are and what your values are and what matters to you. You don’t worry so much about whether you fit in or not or are likeable, I mean. It doesn’t mean I want to be a troll, but I’ve seen myself transition from just being terrified that well, I will leave before you can reject me to well, I’m gonna show up and just hope for the best. But that’s something I was just tormented by for a season.


0:27:33 – Brian

And let me say that Every human’s in that same boat Sure. Every single one of us fear rejection. So those are some of our irrational fears.


0:27:42 – Kayla

So yeah, I am deeply sorry for the poor person. We’re getting on the plane in November, so we are oh, dear, god yeah.


0:27:50 – Brian

So but hey, folks have not been rejecting the Peas and Carrots podcast of Coffee Mugs. We just had two winners yesterday.


0:27:59 – Kayla

That’s so exciting.


0:28:00 – Brian

Okay, so here’s the deal we give away free peas and carrots, coffee mugs. We do and you can win one.


0:28:07 – Kayla

It’s easy. Yeah, just go to our website, answer the question, and you can do that by looking for the trivia button.


0:28:16 – Brian

Wait a minute I just saw the question, the question for this week.


0:28:21 – Kayla

Go to the peasandcarotspodcastcom.


0:28:24 – Brian

I don’t approve this question.


0:28:26 – Kayla

I love this question.


0:28:27 – Brian

And when you go there.


0:28:28 – Kayla

This week’s question is what be?


0:28:31 – Brian

What did be confess in this podcast? That I was wrong and you were right.


0:28:38 – Kayla

Oh, you even gave the answer. Okay so go to the website, answer the question by clicking the trivia button.


0:28:44 – Brian

And we should have some peas and carrots stickers Stickers soon.


0:28:47 – Kayla

They will look great on your journals and laptops and water bottles and Help us spread the word about the podcast.


0:28:54 – Brian

So there you go, peasandcarotspodcastcom. You click the whole trivia question button. Answer this question.


0:29:00 – Kayla



0:29:01 – Brian

Which is.


0:29:02 – Kayla

What did be confess in this episode?


0:29:05 – Brian

He Revenues coming.


0:29:08 – Kayla



0:29:08 – Brian

Hey y’all, thanks for listening. You can search the peas and carrots podcast wherever you get your podcast, or visit our website at peasandcarotspodcastcom.


0:29:17 – Kayla

When you do, please don’t forget Subscribe to the podcast.


0:29:20 – Brian

You can also follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Just search for the peas and carrots podcast. And, by the way, happy flying.


0:29:30 – Narrator

For more about the peas and carrots podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarotspodcastcom. Laughter with good friends, no matter how bumpy the road gets. That’s what’s waiting for you with every episode of another great podcast quirks, bumps and bruises With Melody and Candy. Subscribe today, wherever you listen.


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