Season 2, Episode 28: Wishful Thinking

We go together like Peas & Carrots! The Peas & Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch Brian and Kayla Sanders.

 

0:00:11 – Kayla

Welcome to the Peas & Carrots Podcast.

 

I’m Brian and I’m Kayla and hey, last week you got a “Best of” from us.

 

0:00:20 – Kayla

Yes, pardon the interruption.

 

0:00:23 – Brian

It’s been a busy week, and so there you go. Speaking of pardon the interruption, we’re in fundraising season for all five of our so our entire life is interrupted. But yeah, so what’s that look like, miss Kayla?

 

0:00:40 – Kayla

So what that is for those of you who are new to our podcast, our ministry is a nonprofit and we are required to approach our listeners to help fund our ministry. And it’s five stations, five Christian stations, and 80% of our income is from listeners, and so every six months we have to ask our listeners to come alongside us and support their local station. That looks like days that start at 4 am and typically end around 7, 6, 30, 7 somewhere in there, depending on the station, and then we go home, eat a bite, take a bath and go to bed.

 

0:01:28 – Brian

I’ve been doing this now for over 30 years. Yeah, I just say it’s not as easy today, 4 am, it’s different.

 

0:01:37 – Kayla

I mean I am but I will say this I am so proud of our team. We have a lot of new team members. This is their first experience with fundraising and they’re doing great and they have shown so much grit and determination. And in an economy that is just saying I don’t think so, we have had economy saying it’s saying I don’t think so, saying nay, nay. But our people have come alongside our stations and I am just blown away at the generosity of our listeners. So that is why last week was a little wild. We did not get to record, so forgive us for that. But Speaking of Wonderful and then not so wonderful, my Saints my Saints were 2 and 0 and.

 

Derek Carr got injured. Your quarterback the quarterback he got injured and they lost two and one one point.

 

0:02:42 – Brian

Yeah, the green they were leading 17 oh and the first in the fourth quarter and they lost 18 Green Bay came up, put 18 unanswered points on you after our quarterback got hurt. Yeah, I’m just saying it’s 18 unanswered.

 

0:02:57 – Kayla

So who are you rooting for this season, since there’s not a manning playing football.

 

0:03:03 – Brian

I’m a Saints fan.

 

0:03:05 – Kayla

Oh, okay, sure, what was that for you? Just bounce around. I’m a Saints fan, you are, I am, except when it was the Colts versus the Saints and who won that. May I ask who won that Super Bowl? Just just for the record, saints did. Oh, I was still happy, Still happy. Okay so, but I’m a fan of the manning cast you are yeah, and that’s okay, that’s, and I’ll let you be a Saints fan this year.

 

0:03:40 – Brian

So I’m looking at miss Kayla and I. We have show notes for this and the very next point in all caps Update we do.

 

0:03:49 – Kayla

We have an important update. Would you like to share what arrived? What did I order for you? That arrived on Wednesday?

 

0:03:57 – Brian

It’s a paper planner. Oh Drama much. A little bit.

 

0:04:05 – Kayla

After all that declaration that you were a digital planner person, what have you become? It’s gonna paper planner you love it, don’t you? You ordered me one from a lady named dear simplified Emily lay, thank you Because you won him over to the world of paper planners.

 

0:04:25 – Brian

yes, it’s not all flowery, it’s not. It’s one.

 

0:04:29 – Kayla

I believe this is one that her husband spoke into, and it’s specifically designed more for Guys guys to use, and so, yeah, you’re very happy with it though.

 

0:04:43 – Brian

Yeah, there’s that when did I become old? Oh, like, okay. I find the temperature of 50 now to be chilly. Really, five years ago I’d be like this is awesome now.

 

0:04:57 – Kayla

I find the temperature of 50 to be wonderful.

 

0:05:04 – Brian

That’s because you got these warm fronts coming through, you got your personal El Nino sweater.

 

0:05:12 – Kayla

Yeah, you do tend to ask me where’s my little fleece jacket every once in a while.

 

0:05:18 – Brian

So I don’t. When did this happen? And then, when I get up, I sound like a box of rice Krispy’s.

 

0:05:23 – Kayla

Oh.

 

0:05:24 – Brian

God crap old and pop.

 

0:05:26 – Kayla

When did this happen? Yeah, I bet down in the office to pick something up the other day and my knees cracked.

 

0:05:31 – Brian

You don’t want to know what happens when I bend over and someone oh my gosh, okay.

 

0:05:36 – Kayla

Someone asked if I was okay because my knees cracked. The loud behave, Okay. So that is what is up in the world of peace and care. I.

 

0:05:48 – Brian

Thought this was a compelling title for this segment. Don’t neglect the life you have for the life you wished for, and what we’re going to do in this segment is compare what we always dreamed of To compare to what we have yeah now there’s gonna be some joy in this segment absolutely.

 

There’s gonna be some sadness in this segment, so understand that, okay. Okay, I’m gonna start. I always wanted a PhD, always wanted to be Dr Sanders. I don’t know why, but I never finished my masters and life’s busy, especially leading the ministry and that kind of stuff, but God gave me a passion for reading. Mm-hmm and I read history and theology and little and yet leadership. So I’m happy with where I am. Do I regret not having a degree? Some days?

 

Still, every now and then, but not as much but I’m thankful for where I am, because I think that life that I wished for actually spurred me, for a love of knowledge, hmm, to get there. So I mean books are my best friends. I mean I love books more than people. Yeah so I mean, I saw a great quote by a friend of ours, karen Swallow, prior. She said Don’t forget to stop in us and smell the books.

 

0:07:23 – Kayla

That’s great.

 

0:07:24 – Brian

So I’m not going to neglect that life.

 

0:07:27 – Kayla

Yeah, that’s a good one, and God has given you the privilege of writing two books, so you didn’t have to have a degree to do that, there’s that.

 

0:07:37 – Brian

Thank you, miss Kayla.

 

0:07:39 – Kayla

So when we married, I had it all figured out I was going to have two kids by 30, and At some point in that process probably by about the time I think I was 24 we had firmly come to realize that we would not have children, not of our own. And so I Look back now and the thing that I was just determined that I would have Did not happen. But God has given me so many opportunities To nurture and care for others, and it did not require being a mom.

 

It did not require birthing a child, but a lifelong journey through infertility. Even though what I wished for did not happen, I have been able to pour into others and when you reflect on that and see the gift that God has given you, it kind of softens the gift that he didn’t this kind of, this kind of comes in waves for me Every now and then.

 

0:08:55 – Brian

This will bother me Rarely. Does it bother me anymore? Yeah but I’m about to get emotional. I don’t want to cry today. I don’t have time for that. Sunday morning church. They were calling the kids up front to go up front for like little children’s church, and I looked to my left and there’s this little blonde-headed boy walking by and I instantly thought what it would have been like for us to have one of them, but I look at what God has done with our lives, all the students that we have mentored.

 

0:09:38 – Kayla

All the places we’ve been able to go, all the things we’ve been able to do and I’m not saying that all of that would not have been possible, but it would have looked different.

 

0:09:50 – Brian

So I think I’ll agree with you. I am content with where God has brought us. So next would be for me would be stuttering. Last night we had a home group and wait a minute, you guys want to tell you something. We’re on a podcast. Y’all can’t see us, and Miss Kayla just told me to wipe my mouth.

 

0:10:14 – Kayla

Maybe nobody can see me, but you got something on the side of your mouth. Well, now they know here we are, here we are, there are no secrets, all right.

 

0:10:25 – Brian

So we were at home group last night and I’m teaching the book of Revelation there. I taught it in the summertime at church. Now I’m teaching at home group and I kept getting stuck on L words.

 

0:10:39 – Kayla

I couldn’t say the word you were also very tired because you had been going since 4 am.

 

0:10:44 – Brian

I was very tired.

 

0:10:45 – Kayla

And we have found that your stuttering is worse when you are tired or nervous or there’s a lot on your mind.

 

0:10:52 – Brian

Or angry or something like that.

 

0:10:54 – Kayla

Well, yeah.

 

0:10:56 – Brian

So, and I kept getting stuck on the words.

 

0:10:58 – Kayla

Yeah.

 

0:10:59 – Brian

And I kept trying to say the word Laodicea and the word Lord and I couldn’t do it.

 

0:11:06 – Kayla

In language. I felt really bad for you and language.

 

0:11:10 – Brian

I was trying to say apocalyptic and I had all kinds of trouble, so I started avoiding certain words. That’s something that will bother me, but I think God has used it as an example that God can use anyone, because if God can use me on the radio, who has a stuttering issue?

 

0:11:40 – Kayla

And he does.

 

0:11:41 – Brian

And he uses me on a podcast and I have a stuttering issue.

 

0:11:45 – Kayla

And you teach.

 

0:11:46 – Brian

And I teach he can use you to do anything, so don’t. I’m kind of a remember whenever God called Moses and Moses says I can’t talk right, and God said out there, you’re the one that made you. That’s right, so I guess I’m getting comfortable with that.

 

0:12:07 – Kayla

Yeah.

 

0:12:08 – Brian

So I’m trying to get there. I’m close.

 

0:12:12 – Kayla

And I believe God gives all of us something to kind of keep our ego in check and remind us of who’s we are. Okay, I believe there’s something about every single one of us as humans. You may not know what it is about someone else, but there is something, I believe, that everyone struggles with, and that’s their reminder that they aren’t all that.

 

0:12:35 – Brian

That’s very true.

 

0:12:37 – Kayla

So I used to envy those who traveled for work.

 

0:12:40 – Brian

I love this.

 

0:12:41 – Kayla

And when I was, when I was in my 20s and my very early 30s.

 

0:12:46 – Brian

I just see your daddy go yes, and.

 

0:12:49 – Kayla

I, I would look at him and then I became a young adult and I thought I will have arrived when I travel for work. If I ever get to hop on a plane or go on a business trip, I will be an adult. And then it’s not as glamorous as it seems, after many business trips that I have enjoyed room service.

 

You know, room service only takes you so far. Being sick away from home, dealing with delays, lost luggage yeah. Forgetting something that you needed yeah, it’s. It’s a privilege, but I’ve seen the other side, so, again, this thing that I just longed for. It’s very different once you actually grasp it.

 

0:13:41 – Brian

For me, friendship I’ve talked about this a few times on this podcast and it’ll be a recurring thing because I think men struggle with friendship it’s always been distant for me. What I’m coming to realize is in my brokenness. I might view friendship in a healthy manner and we’ll talk about that at later podcast but I’ve often felt like I was alone. But I’ve come to realize that’s not true. I have a best friend. I have friends.

 

0:14:19 – Kayla

You do.

 

0:14:22 – Brian

And it’s going to be a big admission. Not everybody has to like me and I don’t have to make everybody like me Mm-hmm, and that’s a huge step forward for me. Why am I so emotional? I’m probably tired. I just want to cry.

 

0:14:36 – Kayla

Ever see one of these. I don’t know what’s Laughing, so I could really yellow pages and cry today.

 

0:14:42 – Brian

But that’s a big admission for me, because I’ve always longed for this, this life of People that I’m doing life with and friends and I do have friends, you do you have some great friends?

 

0:14:57 – Kayla

Yeah, yeah. So, moment of truth, we would both admit to this. We do not see each other’s notes when we sit down to do the podcast. That’s when the notes come together, correct? So this is my final, and you had no idea, and I had no idea that you were gonna talk about friends. This is a really raw, honest moment for me.

 

0:15:19 – Brian

I’ll try not to.

 

0:15:20 – Kayla

I’ve always envied the people who post about having a tribe of Women. It’s always something that I Just wanted this group of women that we would go out to dinner or we would do this or we would do that, that they would drop everything, and and then I got that, and it may not look exactly like what I longed for, but I have that community with people in my church. I have that community with people who may not all live in the same place, but there have been times when we have all come together and I See how God has gifted that. It just doesn’t look quite like what I expected it to, and the truth is that’s not necessarily how it looks for any of those tribes. The takeaway for me it’s work in order to have those things, in order to have that sense of community you and I have both. We’ve committed to the work. You have to be willing to pour in and Kind of invest in it, and so we have found that and it’s been really cool, but it doesn’t look like what I envisioned in my mind.

 

0:16:37 – Brian

So Hearing you say that it’s something I preach to our team is you have to be a part of the culture. You can’t allow the culture to happen to you? Yeah, you have to go be part of these people’s lives and be a friend. Yeah and not hope that friendship just happens to you.

 

0:16:53 – Kayla

So I guess our question for you would be this, as we end to this segment what is it in your life that you’ve wished for?

 

0:17:02 – Brian

ice cream chocolate.

 

0:17:07 – Kayla

So a few weeks ago, I posed a question what would my life look like, our life look like, if we committed to real change for the next 150 days? There are 93 days left, not that I’m counting or anything. As I come back to this, what has this looked like for us? So, basically, we’re 60 days in and where are we in this process? What would you say is one of the things that you have committed to to change in the next 150 days?

 

0:17:47 – Brian

Um, I’m doing stuff at the gym. I never thought I could do. It Would do.

 

0:17:51 – Kayla

You’re amazing.

 

0:17:52 – Brian

No, I’m not. They’ve put me on this roller machine and an exercise bike and I’m lifting this 10 pound weight up over my head. Uh, the roller machine is probably the hardest thing ever done in my entire life.

 

0:18:08 – Kayla

Oh, I’m so proud of you. It is hard.

 

0:18:11 – Brian

I mean, and I have arthritis, okay, and the older I’m getting, the more it’s bothering me and it’s really bugging me and uh, but that rower, y’all. I’m a pretty large man and the seat on this thing is real small and I keep waiting to fall off and I’m six foot one, I’m a tall fella, and it’s like Jesse, who’s my trainer. He’s like here, put your feet in this, my feet don’t fit. They do too.

 

0:18:49 – Kayla

They don’t, I’m too tall, so you’re doing great.

 

0:18:53 – Brian

So I would say this I’m seeing myself do stuff I never thought I would do. Yeah, killin it. Well, it’s killing me, I’ll say that.

 

0:19:05 – Kayla

I got serious. You can attest to this. I got like devoted to giving up sugar. 90% of my daily sugar intake is gone. I wasn’t very pleasant for the first couple of weeks.

 

0:19:21 – Brian

I didn’t say anything I will.

 

0:19:23 – Kayla

I won it. It was a little cranky, um, but I find that I am less anxious. I lost weight, which was a pleasant surprise, and I do not have inflammation anymore. So for those of you that need need the boost to give up some of the things that you crave, those were the pleasant side effects of doing that, and so now I hardly ever crave this stuff, and when I did try to cheat and eat a donut the other day, I had a terrible headache for the rest of the day, so I learned my lesson. So I had to eat a donut again.

 

0:20:05 – Brian

Well that’s what I’m talking about Speaking of that. Uh, I’m as well eating healthier. I’m doing veggies and cheeses and like little snack meats like salami, pepperoni, that kind of stuff. Um, I don’t sugar fruit, yeah. I don’t sugar fruit I don’t, I can’t do, cookies I can’t do. Well, there’s one cookie I can have, which is an Oreo.

 

0:20:30 – Kayla

It’s it is, we just try not to keep it in the house.

 

0:20:34 – Brian

Uh, so we don’t do that. Uh, I don’t. There’s a certain type of ice cream I can have, but I don’t do that. I just want to cut that stuff out. If I do anything sweet now, it’s usually grapes. Or we buy these cut up apples because y’all, I’m just too lazy. I’m not going to stand up there and take five minutes cut up an apple.

 

0:20:56 – Kayla

Okay, I’ll just eat a whole apple. But here we are. Well, I’m afraid I’ve hurt my teeth, oh, okay. Well, there’s that.

 

0:21:03 – Brian

So, yeah, I’m eating healthier and I get, am I enjoying it? You are, I’m not suffering, you are, I’m good, it’s getting easier.

 

0:21:14 – Kayla

So so at this point I should have read eight books. I said that I was going to read four books a month. I’ve read five, which is a big deal for me. So a little more work to do here, but I’m developing the habit of reading instead of endlessly scrolling on my phone or mindlessly watching TV, and it’s been kind of cool. Okay, I’ll talk about one of those books in just a minute.

 

0:21:44 – Brian

Okay, All right, what about啊? Expense Mobile sino Tol neuroscience To be kinder.

 

0:21:50 – Kayla

Oh goodness, what’s wrong. I think you do fine with this I don’t, but I’m trying.

 

0:21:55 – Brian

This can be hard for me because I am responsible for making decisions that to others can seem unkind but that doesn’t make you an unkind person. But I can have a problem with my tone, as can we all, okay, and I’m trying to work on saying please and thank you more, hmm. So, oh, you’re not gonna disagree with those, are you? With the please one, I think I’m terrible at.

 

0:22:25 – Kayla

I think I’m pretty good at thank you, but I don’t say please very often you go into leader mode and you just like make the declaration, then I’m like, please, so so yeah, that’s me.

 

So this one has been a game changer for me. I took a real hard look. I would actually say I did an autopsy of our life the meals I was cooking, the daily decisions I had to make, the routines that we had, and what I have found is I have simplified some things and I am going to strongly Recommend a book. It’s called the lazy, genius way lazy.

 

Genius way and I? I’m sorry. Please forgive me, kendra, I Think her last name is a docky, but don’t quote me on how to say that the lazy genius the lazy, genius way.

 

So the whole concept of this book is You’re either so overwhelmed that you give up, so you’re couched as lazy, or You’re such a perfectionist about everything that you Kind of go too far. The other way the genius side of it, the mashup of this, the lazy, genius way is figuring out. So I’m gonna give a couple of examples real quick. I Created a meal plan for us that every Monday is meatless Monday. Every Tuesday is Going to be something we call it taco Tuesday, but basically it’s going to be Mexican food that night we’re going to have like. On On Wednesdays we have pasta night or whatever, something that fits with a running theme for us, and we stick with that every single week, so that it’s one less thought I have to have, it’s one less decision I have to make. Another example is what am I going to wear? A lot of us spend so much time, especially women, and so I have simplified decisions over.

 

Well, you’re a guy, I get it, but I have certain things that, okay, I know, this is pretty much the style that I’m gonna wear on Monday. This is this is Tuesday, this is Wednesday, and so I’ve taken some of the guesswork out of certain things. I’m always going to do laundry on Saturday morning first thing. I get up early on Saturday and I knock out the laundry.

 

Oh so these are things that she teaches you in the book. She even talks about certain ways to clean your house, certain ways to Design a routine that works for your family, how to decorate your home, all kind of things. So some of it I have adopted, some of it I have said nope, that doesn’t work for me. I like my own way of doing that. I Seriously do recommend the lazy, genius way, and that is something that in the last 60 days I have kind of Transitioned our house to. So there we go.

 

0:25:36 – Brian

I mean my phone. I want to get on Amazon see if there’s a lazy workout After crawling that roller. That is that. I mean that is some good wisdom. That does help you plan and you get in a pattern and rhythm and it kind of makes life a little bit easier.

 

0:25:50 – Kayla

So so, yeah, this is, these are things that we have committed to, and We’ll keep you posted on how we’re doing, you know there you go.

 

0:26:00 – Brian

Hey, we’ve been getting a lot of winners to our podcast and you’ve been receiving coffee mugs and also. Stickers and we’ve been hearing back from you and we’re glad that you’re enjoying them. So here’s where we are the first two people to go to our website this week. Answer the following question correctly and you can win a piece and carrots coffee mug and a pack of stickers. What’s that question?

 

0:26:26 – Kayla

our question this week what is one change you would like to make in your life by December 31st?

 

0:26:32 – Brian

All right to win that coffee mug and that pack of stickers, you go to our website, which is the peas and carrots podcast, comm when you get there, look for the trivia button, click that and when you get there, you answer what is one change you would like to make by December 31st?

 

0:26:48 – Kayla

So search peas and carrots podcast wherever you get your podcast, or again visit our website peas and carrots podcast comm. When you do, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast.

 

0:27:00 – Brian

Hey, you can also follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Just search for the peas and carrots podcast.

 

0:27:06 – Narrator

For more about the peas and carrots podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peas and carrots podcast. Comm. Laughter with good friends, no matter how bumpy the road gets. That’s what’s waiting for you with every episode of another great podcast quirks, bumps and bruises with melody and candy. Subscribe today, wherever you listen.