Would You Rather? - Episode Description
Join us on this lively discussion as we share the exciting fall changes we made to our home, our adventures to the Blue Ridge Mountains, and our joy in hosting our dear friend Stan. Listen in as we reflect on birthday celebrations and the kindness of our friends. We also talk about the guilt that comes with self-care and the need to celebrate our own achievements just as we would others. And we wrap up with a reminder about what fundraising season means for our ministry and our listeners.
In the second half, we tackle the importance of boundaries and self-care, sharing insights on how to find time for rest amidst the busyness of life. You’ll hear our thoughts on how finding joy in watching others enjoy food can help ease diet restrictions, and how committing to exercise, even when tired, can aid in stress management. As we move to lighter topics, we share our strategies for maximizing life and pose a fun trivia question for our listeners. Tune in to learn more about our take on self-care, boundaries, and making the most of life.
Would You Rather? - Transcript
We go together like peas and carrots! The Peas & Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch Brian and Kayla Sanders.
0:00:11 – Brian
Welcome to the peas and carrots podcast. I’m Brian and I’m Kayla, and so what’s up in the world of peas and carrots?
0:00:20 – Kayla
So I finally Decorated our house for fall.
0:00:24 – Brian
Yeah, you did, and you did something very mean, it was not mean yes, it was.
0:00:29 – Kayla
I think it’s fun Tell them what you did so we have a skeleton named bones and he sits on the couch.
0:00:37 – Brian
He’s a little miniature one 86 a little skeleton, but tell them how you sit him on the couch. He’s looking at you. Yes, so my, so my chair faces the television, but she sits, this Skeleton, on the very end of the couch that’s nearest the television, and she and you turn him to where he’s he’s having a Conversation he’s staring at me. He does. He’s not real. How many times do we have to go through this? I know real. Okay, but the house but he’s having fun the house looks very nice, she’s got, thank you and even outside You’ve got pumpkins.
0:01:15 – Kayla
Oh, we’re gonna pumpkin palooza and mums and pansies.
0:01:21 – Brian
And there’s lots of money, you know. So, yeah, and inside you’ve got fake pumpkins and it’s just very nice. Why, thank you? So you having fun with that. I am Very much so are you one of these people? That one, they’re gonna do a fall tree inside, like you put up a Christmas tree, but it’s decorated in the fall color.
0:01:42 – Kayla
No no, no.
0:01:45 – Brian
All right. Well, we live in Virginia. We actually live in the mountains of we do and. Right there in the Blue Ridge Mountains and right now the trees are on fire.
0:01:56 – Kayla
It’s absolutely beautiful, but I had to take back my word on something.
0:02:02 – Brian
0:02:03 – Kayla
Because I made the declaration that we would not do what until November.
0:02:08 – Brian
We would not. I Don’t know what. What did you say?
0:02:14 – Kayla
Nothing has ever been more Accurate. Apparently, I didn’t declare it loud enough, but I said that we would not turn the heat on. Well, when it’s 39 and 40 degrees in the morning, it’s a little cold, so the heat was on a week ago and yeah, we’ve talked about this, but we’ve kind of reversed roles. You can’t handle being cold anymore. I can’t, yeah, I can’t so we had to turn the heat on and I was dying. But yeah, I was telling you.
0:02:47 – Brian
I think I was telling my friend Rick. I said you know, I spent an hour on my phone of the night researching slippers. Where I spend an hour on my phone Research and slippers, here we are. But. But here we are, and but the treat y’all it’s be it is need to come to the Blue Ridge Mountains? Yeah, and go see. I was thinking that if you ever go to the Biltmore, that’s in Asheville.
0:03:19 – Kayla
0:03:19 – Brian
I would highly encourage you to go this time of year.
0:03:22 – Kayla
Yeah, because mid to late October.
0:03:25 – Brian
Because the views from that place right now have to be, oh yeah, incredible.
0:03:31 – Kayla
So yeah some of God’s best work.
0:03:34 – Brian
I agree yeah.
0:03:36 – Kayla
Be, you have some fun news.
0:03:39 – Brian
Yeah, my best friend Stan is coming to visit.
0:03:42 – Kayla
He is. We are very excited.
0:03:43 – Brian
I’m very excited about that, and we’ve known each other for gosh, 32 years 30, no longer than 30 plus. I think I knew him.
0:03:55 – Kayla
About yeah, we’ve been married 30 years. You knew him long before that, so I knew.
0:03:59 – Brian
I met him in. New Orleans, new Orleans, yeah so about 32 years is right when we’ve been best buddies, and so he’s coming to visit and he’ll be with us for Halloween and yep, that kind of stuff. So I’m tickled pink, I am excited to have him here and, yeah, show him around and take him to.
0:04:21 – Kayla
See all our local spot yeah let him get.
0:04:24 – Brian
He’s a big photographer, so I’m gonna take.
0:04:26 – Kayla
I’m just hoping some of the trees hold until he gets here, Like slow down just a little bit miss Kayla.
0:04:35 – Brian
Yes, happy birthday. You had a birth, I had a birthday.
0:04:39 – Kayla
Yeah, and my gift to myself was to do absolutely Nothing. We didn’t even go out to dinner.
0:04:46 – Brian
I wanted to tell last night.
0:04:48 – Kayla
Which was like five days later your birthday fell during fun reason. I was tired.
0:04:53 – Brian
So, but you got lots of it was an incredible way you got gifts and cards.
0:05:00 – Kayla
I did give cards and there was a video of a team I singing and chanting, and it was it was a very well celebrated you did, they were absolutely Gorgeous so yeah, they’re kind of wilting but yeah pretty so it was a very special day.
0:05:21 – Brian
Yes, I’m glad you know you had carrot cake.
0:05:25 – Kayla
Oh, there was cake, there were cookies, there were donuts, there was Peach cobbler, there was Something else. Oh, one of my dearists sent me chocolate covered strawberries. So yeah, I didn’t touch anything you didn’t, but it was all very, very kind. So yeah, thank you for all the birthday wishes. 51 is looking good.
0:05:52 – Brian
So why do we feel it’s selfish to do stuff for ourselves when they’re the things we encourage others to do and celebrate when they succeed? So you can, I want you to explain that statement because I think I butchered it a little bit.
0:06:08 – Kayla
No, you didn’t know. You did great. We were having a conversation a couple of weeks ago and One of the commitments that we made to each other going into this fundraising season and again, for those of you who are New to us, what we’re saying when we’re talking about fundraising season our ministry that we work with is a Non-profit. So for four weeks, roughly every spring and every fall, we have to come to our listeners and ask them to support us financially. We do not get government grants, we do not get money from an institution. That way we can control the messaging. You can stay true to the gospel. So our days during those four weeks are particularly long and I know we’ve shared that before, but we typically are up and going at 4 am, we’re crawling back in the bed, we get home around 7 and we’re in bed, god willing, by 9, and we do that Twice a year, but I’m just keeping it real. It takes a toll at 51 and 55 that it did not for me.
So we had this. This all came from a conversation that we were having going into this season. We’ve grown enough that we sat down together and we mapped out a plan of what are some things that we absolutely must do and Water some things that we must not do in this season, and I think in some ways, we wanted to develop some different habits as well. But this is where we landed, and it was very interesting. We felt guilty and we really struggled with telling ourselves that it’s okay to do things that we would celebrate other people doing.
0:08:05 – Brian
So we’ll dive in and hopefully it will make sense, but Carving out time for rest, yeah about the third weekend, the third weekend of fundraising I actually had to like step aside and like Take a nap. I need it because it’s just, it’s so much and I felt guilty for that. Now Let me say this I took the nap anyway. I fought through the guilt, but I felt guilty for that.
0:08:33 – Kayla
But you were pretty strict, yeah we had a conversation at the end of week four. I actually had all these plans Saturday. I was gonna do this and this and this, and this and this. And so we hit the ground running. I needed to go pick up some new eyeglasses, we needed to get groceries, all these we need to do this and we need to do this. You can attest that. We got to about 2pm that day and I was in tears because I was so tired. And I remember reading a blog one time about the first day of school and this blogger actually wrote Do nothing, make no plans. That night. When your children get home from school, have pizza and put on their favorite movie, don’t poke the bear, don’t make plans, don’t go anywhere, don’t ask them any questions. And that’s kind of how I felt. So I joked with you that I’m going to be that middle schooler. After the end of the fourth week we’re not gonna have any plans Put a pizza in front of me.
0:09:50 – Brian
Just throw a pizza at me and put on hotel transylvania.
0:09:54 – Kayla
I’ll watch a fun monster movie and I’m done, but I really struggled with that and this is where somebody’s gonna roast me for this.
0:10:04 – Brian
But really really quickly, Because you put very high standards on yourself.
0:10:08 – Kayla
I do. That’s impossible standards. That Saturday I ended up taking a four hour nap.
0:10:17 – Brian
I remember it.
0:10:18 – Kayla
And Sunday I was still completely wiped out and you looked at me and said we’re not going anywhere today, you are going to sleep. I get what that looks like. That meant that we were doing church From the comfort of our couch, but it was the right decision, and we would have encouraged anyone else to do that If they needed to. And yet I felt so guilty for doing that, and that’s all on me, because nobody at our church would have blamed me. So what is something else that we are learning to be okay with?
0:11:00 – Brian
Declining food as a celebration. That’s a big one. But also now remember this we can’t eat what everybody else eats.
0:11:07 – Kayla
We need like three things.
0:11:09 – Brian
Me cheese and like a carrot. That’s what I’m allowed to eat A vegetable. But because food, especially for me growing up and even as an adult, food has been a celebration. And there’s cake, there’s a big, you know all these different types of celebratory food.
0:11:26 – Kayla
Well, we do it as a society. Oh, let’s send them a fruit basket, let’s give them a chocolate basket, let’s do. Everything revolves around food.
0:11:34 – Brian
I’m coming to realize I’m going to be a beef jerky basket and I’ll be just fine with that Okay, just to make sure there’s not sesame or peanut in it but seeing food as something that helps me be healthy instead of seeing food as something to like celebrate.
0:11:52 – Kayla
Yeah, it’s fuel.
0:11:53 – Brian
It’s not. I feel guilty when people bring in all this food and I can’t partake in it. That gives me guilt, but I try to find joy in watching other people enjoy. Yeah, now I get a little jealous. I’m like I bet you that tastes really good. See, I’m getting more and more comfortable with.
0:12:10 – Kayla
I’m glad that you’re in that moment and I’m in this moment. I’m choosing not to partake, but it does not take anything away from being with the people. I just don’t want to have to regret eating that. So we were very disciplined for the most part in making time to exercise.
0:12:33 – Brian
We still went to the gym most of the days of fundraise.
0:12:36 – Kayla
Which I just felt like that was a huge one for me because it asked a lot. I mean, when you’re physically tired, you’re mentally stretched, and I am going to have to admit this. All the people who say, but you’ll be so glad you did, I thought they were absolutely crazy at one point. We did not regret one gym session.
0:12:58 – Brian
No, it helped me manage stress. It helped me work out things in my head. It was very, very helpful.
0:13:05 – Kayla
0:13:06 – Brian
So, yeah, we did make time to exercise. I don’t know if I felt, did I feel guilty? Well, I had to walk away from certain teams for like an hour to go to the gym.
0:13:16 – Kayla
Yeah, we would have to step back from our jobs and take a break.
0:13:19 – Brian
I’d be on an exercise bike and I’d have that phone Check and text messages? Yeah, I’d be on the check of the text messages, but I think it’s important that we take care of ourselves.
0:13:27 – Kayla
Because then we model for others that they can take care of themselves too. 100%. We also this. I would not just say in the last four weeks you’ve heard us talk about this before. Perhaps we have been working really hard to practice healthy boundaries.
0:13:46 – Brian
And that doesn’t mean that, like we’re trying, that we’re being jerks to people. No, we’re trying to own what we’re supposed to own and not own everybody and everything.
0:13:59 – Kayla
0:13:59 – Brian
Is that a healthy?
0:14:00 – Kayla
point to say that I read a quote. This is not mine, it’s borrowed. The only people who have a problem with boundaries are people who have none.
0:14:09 – Brian
Well, something got said there.
0:14:11 – Kayla
I mean yeah, because Because everybody needs to have boundaries in their life.
0:14:15 – Brian
Yes, yes, because people will violate them and they’ll use you and they’ll hurt you.
0:14:19 – Kayla
There are people and circumstances that are just not meant for you. There are situations that are not meant for you, and there are things you are meant to say yes to and there are things you’re meant to say no to, and all of this falls under boundaries, so yeah.
0:14:34 – Brian
Here’s one that I’m trying to practice with our teams, and I’m trying to respect their boundaries. Every day I try to write a devo for the entire team and then. I write or share like a leadership principle with the leaders.
0:14:53 – Kayla
You’ve shifted that though.
0:14:55 – Brian
I have shifted that because I used to share it at 6 am, thinking I could start your day off, everybody’s day off with a bang. I’ve shifted that to where now I share that between 7.45 to 8.30, letting you get into the office and get settled and then share that, cause I don’t want to encroach on time that you should spend with your family or that you’re at home, and I don’t want your first thought every morning to be work. I want your first thought to be him and then your family. So I’m trying to practice that a little bit more. The next one’s a big one for me, and that’s choosing to read as a hobby versus what other people do. Yeah, like I have friends that go hiking, they go hunting, they do photography. That’s great, you go for it. But now I feel guilty because people see reading as being lazy. What’s my hobby? It’s what I love to read a good book.
I’ve seen you grow more comfortable in that, though in the last few months, it’s still.
0:16:01 – Kayla
You’re giving yourself the right to do that.
0:16:04 – Brian
I will go to a men’s group and I will feel out of place because they’re talking about, you know, tearing cars apart, rebuilding engines.
0:16:15 – Kayla
Y’all read a Lincoln book lately.
0:16:16 – Brian
Y’all read a Lincoln book lately, you know that’s where I am, so and I give myself freedom. So give yourself the opportunity to do things that benefit you and don’t just set yourself up to where people just benefit from you Also what is it that you need to step back and ask yourself?
0:16:40 – Kayla
why am I so willing to celebrate other people doing these things and why, perhaps, am I so hard on myself for doing the very same?
0:16:51 – Brian
things. Something got said.
0:16:53 – Kayla
I’ll be right back. I’ll be right back.
0:16:56 – Brian
You’re excited about this next.
0:16:57 – Kayla
This is going to be really fun because the truth is, I posed some questions and you have not seen them, so this is called would you rather. So we’re going to play again.
0:17:08 – Brian
Can I ask you, before we start playing, do I have to choose one? You do, but it’s not bad, I promise.
0:17:13 – Kayla
Well, you can choose whatever answer you want, but let’s jump right in literally. Would you rather sky dive or bungee jump, or bungee jump.
0:17:24 – Brian
0:17:25 – Kayla
Okay, If I made you choose though look at me. I had to choose Bungie cord would scream it’s got out, I would bungee jump. I would not skydive, I would know there’s at least some kind of rubber rope or something.
0:17:44 – Brian
I guess, harness, if I had two or three cords tied to me, I’d try to bungee jump but. I afraid I’d knock my back out. That thing pops.
0:17:53 – Kayla
OK, Gramps. Well, no, I mean, think about it, Gramps. Would you rather give up air conditioning or heat?
0:18:04 – Brian
Oh, probably air conditioning.
0:18:09 – Kayla
That’s a big shocker for a lot of people, but I would give up heat, because I can always put on more clothes to get warm.
0:18:16 – Brian
Well, you’re also this. Stage of life yes, when you get, uh, huh so.
0:18:23 – Kayla
Moving on. Ok, would you rather watch scary movies or rom-coms?
0:18:28 – Brian
What kind of scary movies.
0:18:30 – Kayla
You get to choose.
0:18:31 – Brian
It doesn’t have to be like Halloween or If it’s like Frankenstein and werewolf, I’d rather watch that.
0:18:36 – Kayla
0:18:37 – Brian
But I know you love.
0:18:39 – Kayla
I’d choose rom-coms, yeah.
0:18:41 – Brian
Y’all. Yesterday I’m just going to confess this we brought salad to work to eat for lunch and about 10th, about 10, 15. I get this little text. Here’s what this text said. I’m just a girl staring at a salad who really wants a pizza.
0:18:56 – Kayla
Mm, hmm, so I had a cheat day.
0:18:58 – Brian
So she had a cheat day yesterday.
0:19:00 – Kayla
Would you rather spend a week in a forest or a night in a real haunted house?
0:19:08 – Brian
Well, I can get the haunted house over in one night, so I’m going to that, but I ain’t spending a week in the forest.
0:19:12 – Kayla
I chose that because something might chew me alive in the forest. So yeah, I don’t want to be eaten by a bear. Bear going to come up and drag you out of the tent. I’m choosing the, I’m choosing the haunted house and I’m taking some sage with me. So there we go.
0:19:31 – Brian
We love Jesus, but we travel with sage. So let me just go on record I don’t believe in haunted houses. Let’s just go on.
0:19:37 – Kayla
Would you rather travel the world for a year for free or have $50,000 to spend? However you would like?
0:19:47 – Brian
travel the world for free. Same where you want to go.
0:19:52 – Kayla
Well, there you go, I would.
0:19:53 – Brian
I would travel tomorrow. I would, yeah, I’d love for us to go back to Switzerland. I’d love to go back to England.
0:20:01 – Kayla
0:20:01 – Brian
Scotland. I don’t care about going to Russia or China.
0:20:05 – Kayla
I’d love to do Austria.
0:20:07 – Brian
That’d be nice.
0:20:09 – Kayla
0:20:10 – Brian
I hear that like Australia’s fun, but it takes 24 hours. No, I’m not traveling that far, sorry we’re going to have to have Hawaii, yeah, so yeah, I’d like to do that.
0:20:19 – Kayla
Would you rather be alone all your life? Now, baby, I should preface this so. So just ease up when you hear the rest of this question. Be alone all your life or be surrounded by really annoying people.
0:20:36 – Brian
Well, if you’re surrounded by really annoying people, it feels like you’re alone. So I’ll just go with be alone all your life. I would probably wouldn’t last long, I’d probably shrivel up and die.
0:20:47 – Kayla
but I would say, be surrounded by really annoying people and truthfully, because sometimes I am annoying.
0:20:54 – Brian
But you’re not annoying.
0:20:56 – Kayla
People don’t get next to me. Technology and equipment gets next to me. I’m very patient with people, and you know that, so I think I could figure out how to deal with them. But now you give me a computer that won’t work and I’m throwing it in the yard. So would you rather lose the ability to read or the ability to speak?
0:21:20 – Brian
Wow, I’d probably say the ability to speak.
0:21:24 – Kayla
Same. Because I could still type I could still communicate with texting and everything else. I could find ways to communicate.
0:21:31 – Brian
But, and then I could probably learn to adapt. If I lost the ability to read, I could probably adapt to books on tape and that kind of stuff too. But there’s that.
0:21:41 – Kayla
Would you rather be the funniest person in the room or the smartest person in the room?
0:21:46 – Brian
0:21:48 – Kayla
If people thought I was genuinely funny, I would choose funny. You are funny.
0:21:52 – Brian
Not really. That’s your own thing, but I’d rather be the funniest person in the room.
0:21:59 – Kayla
I think because I hate to say this I’ve been in a room with someone who thought they were the smartest and I kind of wanted to smack them. I just want to.
0:22:09 – Brian
For me, I want to spread some joy.
0:22:11 – Kayla
Yeah, spread some happiness, exactly.
0:22:13 – Brian
0:22:15 – Kayla
And find nope, two more. Would you rather watch the same movie every day for a month, or listen to the same song every day for a month? Well, I’ve done both, you have.
0:22:28 – Brian
0:22:29 – Kayla
Why chose this question?
0:22:32 – Brian
I wouldn’t care to do both at the same time.
0:22:34 – Kayla
Nope you got to choose Movie or song.
0:22:38 – Brian
Oh song Cause I love music.
0:22:43 – Kayla
I choose a movie that had a song that I really like in it.
0:22:46 – Brian
So you’d be watching the greatest showman, probably over and, over and over again.
0:22:49 – Kayla
You got it, see strategy.
0:22:52 – Brian
Strat strategy, strategy.
0:22:54 – Kayla
she’s got a strategy and our final question would you rather have all green traffic lights or never standing line again? I would never stand in line I hate lines.
0:23:07 – Brian
I don’t understand people who go in Starbucks and stand in line. You have been there 30 times. The menu has not changed. It’s you? Ask me? I’m like John Pinnett, ask me I can. I haven’t memorized right to left, left to right, up down. Ask me, like people go to McDonald’s, why are they looking at it? It’s McDonald’s.
0:23:30 – Kayla
Okay, well, there we are. So there you go. That was fun Until it wasn’t, but okay, I found it fun. It was very fun.
0:23:41 – Brian
I’m just teasing you, awesome.
0:23:44 – Kayla
Also fun. The first two people who go to our website answer the trivia question correctly and you will win a peas and carrots coffee mug, and it may come with some stickers as well.
0:23:56 – Brian
And we just had a friend this past week win from Flatwoods Kentucky.
0:24:00 – Kayla
Thank you so much.
0:24:02 – Brian
So when you go to our website, which is peasandcaradspodcastcom, look for the trivia button.
0:24:08 – Kayla
Yes, Click that and you can answer the question. And again, what does our website be?
0:24:13 – Brian
peasandcaradspodcastcom. When you get there, what’s that question?
0:24:18 – Kayla
This week’s question what is one thing that you need to give yourself permission to do?
0:24:25 – Brian
Take a nap. There you go, hey. Search for the peas and carrots podcast wherever you get your podcast, or visit our website peasandcaradspodcastcom. When you do, please don’t forget to subscribe to our podcast. We’d appreciate it and share it with a friend. Yes, and you can follow us on Facebook and Instagram.
0:24:43 – Kayla
Just search for the peas and carrots podcast. I got a little passionate about that sand and lime. You kind of did.
0:24:48 – Brian
Yeah, that’s not the one that I thought you would go off the rails.
0:24:50 – Kayla
with which one do you think I’d go off the rails? With the annoying people one. So here we are.
0:24:59 – Brian
Here we are
0:25:25 – Narrator
For more about the Peas and Carrots podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcastcom. Friends who care, sharing life and insights along the way. Seth and Jess on the Jesus Fix it podcast. Subscribe today, wherever you listen.