Season 3, Episode 23: May We (Re)Introduce Ourselves!

Can We Talk?
May We (Re)Introduce Ourselves! - Episode Description

Join us for a lively and heartwarming episode of the Peas and Carrots Podcast, where we share an overview of our bustling July schedule filled with church picnics, summer camps, Bible studies, and baseball games. We have some light-hearted moments to share, like Kayla’s undeniable love for ballpark snacks and a late-night ice cream run that ended in an amusing encounter. We’ll also touch on our bedtime routines and the challenges of sticking to them during summer’s extended daylight. For our new listeners, we’ll recount our 31-year marriage, our work in ministry with Positive Alternative Radio, and the serendipitous way we met in New Orleans, complete with Brian’s unforgettable first impression of Kayla.

Next, we take a heartfelt look at the keys to success in our marriage, discussing the profound ways our faith and love for the Lord shape our relationship. We emphasize the importance of being “all in” on friendships, work, and life itself. From our different approaches to planning and spontaneity to our shared magnetism for unusual stories, we reflect on the quirks that make us unique. Foundational principles like making Jesus the center, dying to ourselves daily, and understanding each other’s love languages are highlighted, along with the significance of communication and never-ending dates to keep our relationship vibrant and cherished.

Finally, we engage in a playful game of “This or That,” exploring our preferences and quirks that have developed over 31 years together. From choosing swimming pools over oceans to debating cake versus pie, this conversation highlights the comfort and simplicity found in long-term relationships.

May We (Re)Introduce Ourselves! - Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 

 

0:00:11 – Brian

Welcome to the peas and carrots podcast. Hi, I’m Brian, I’m Kayla, and Welcome to our little piece of the vegetable patch. I guess that’s how you say, it isn’t it? That is us, that’s us, mm-hmm. So what’s up in our world?

 

0:00:25 – Kayla

 July is busy. 

 

0:00:29 – Brian

Well, we got a church picnic. I’m cooking there, by the way. We got summer camp, which is a work event. We have a trip for that. 

 

0:00:39 – Kayla

Yeah, that’ll be a week. We’ve got various Bible studies we’re going to be part of. We have a ball game that we’re going to with our church family baseball. 

 

0:00:49 – Brian

We have other work trips. Let’s pause here. 

 

0:00:52 – Kayla

Miss Kayla doesn’t go to the ball game for the ball game now I do watch the game, but yes, I’m all about the snacks. I ain’t going to apologize. Cotton candy, maybe a little. 

 

0:01:06 – Brian

Nachos. 

 

0:01:07 – Kayla

Nachos and cheese. 

 

0:01:09 – Brian

Peanuts. 

 

0:01:10 – Kayla

No, I don’t do peanuts anymore because of your allergy. 

 

0:01:12 – Brian

Oh, I appreciate it. We all thank you. I thank you for that. You’re welcome. I don’t want to die If I ever get peanuts, it’s. 

 

0:01:18 – Kayla

you know I’m trying to bump you off, so so so if the hot dogs look good, I might have to. No, I’ll be. I’ll be better than I am usually, because you know whole healthy lifestyle thing we’re doing caramel, if they have caramel corn oh, forget it, it’s on you love caramel. I do don’t say yeah, okay, yeah, it’s a really fun, but busy month. 

 

0:01:42 – Brian

we have a lot of stuff going on, so does anybody find yourself? 

 

0:01:50 – Kayla

staying up a little bit later. I struggle with this because it’s summer and so it doesn’t get dark till what? 9:15? But there’s a spoiler what time do I? 

 

0:02:02 – Brian

like to go to bed 8.30 to 9. Yeah, but then we’ll lay there sharing reels till 10.30. Am I wrong or wrong. 

 

0:02:10 – Kayla

No, not usually that late. If we’ve got to be up at 5 the next morning, some nights we will share reels with each other for about 30 minutes. But yeah, You’re the worst. I wake up every morning to like 10 reels from you. 

 

0:02:26 – Brian

Well, I try to let you go to sleep. Thank you, you do so. Yeah, I have that CPAP. 

 

0:02:30 – Kayla

So, B, we’re going to tell on ourselves. There was a night last week that we did stay up later than we should have, and it kind of got us in trouble with Chick-fil-A. What did we do? 

 

0:02:41 – Brian

We told each other OK, we’re going to sneak over there, we’re going to get it’s five minutes from our house. We’re going to sneak over there, we’re going to get us an ice cream cone and we’ll get back home. This was the night of the debate and we said you know what, we’ll be back in time to watch the debate. And we both said we’re not going to tell anybody about this, it’s going to be our little secret, because we turned over a new leaf, you know we’ve been doing really well. 

 

0:03:08 – Kayla

We just decided we were going to splurge, but we didn’t want to have to fess up to this. But God checked us, as he always does. 

 

0:03:14 – Brian

Chick-fil-A drive-thru paid for it and we get up to where you collect your food, and so I hear Mr. Sanders turned, and it’s one of the youth from our church. 

 

0:03:27 – Kayla

Of course it is. 

 

0:03:28 – Brian

And so. 

 

0:03:32 – Kayla

He hands us our ice cream. 

 

0:03:32 – Brian

So we’re busted, just busted, so we couldn’t get away with that one, but the ice cream was really good. And it’s allergen free for me. Yeah, so I try to avoid there, but that night it was. 

 

0:03:46 – Kayla

Now I want ice cream. 

 

0:03:47 – Brian

Well, anything my darling wants, my darling gets. 

 

0:03:54 – Kayla

May we reintroduce ourselves. 

 

0:03:56 – Brian

Yes, we have a lot of new listeners to the podcast. We do so. I’m Brian, I’m Kayla, we’ve been married going on. 

 

0:04:05 – Kayla

It will be 31 years in August. Yeah. 

 

0:04:08 – Brian

We’re both believers in Jesus. We are conservative Presbyterians. I’d like to say that we both work in ministry. 

 

0:04:18 – Kayla

We do. We work with Positive Alternative Radio and it has five sister stations and we do also have an app that people can listen to, but we are located in Blacksburg. We have stations in Kentucky, Tennessee, North Carolina, Virginia, but we are here. The hub is here in Blacksburg, Virginia, which is where our offices are. Hub is here in Blacksburg, Virginia, which is where our offices are. You are our executive vice president, I am our vice president for partner service. Yeah, for donor care. So how did we meet? 

 

0:04:56 – Brian

Oh gosh, I was serving at the Christian radio station in New Orleans, WBSN Life Songs, and our office manager went on maternity leave, and so you came in for the summer. I did, and took her role for the summer. 

 

0:05:14 – Kayla

And my parents purchased your boss’s trailer on campus. 

 

0:05:19 – Brian

So, and I remember walking in and I saw you the first time and I skipped, I didn’t even say hi to you, I just walked right past you Not even a. 

 

0:05:28 – Kayla

who are you? 

 

0:05:29 – Brian

Nope, I walked right past. You went back to my friend’s office, Stan, and I told him I have to kiss that girl or I will die. I found you were just that beautiful, and still are. 

 

0:05:43 – Kayla

No. 

 

0:05:45 – Brian

So that’s how we met. 

 

0:05:46 – Kayla

We spent the whole summer getting to know each other. You were a very curious person. 

 

0:05:50 – Brian

And you flirted, I did flirt with you. All throughout the summer. Yes, asked her out various times, three times. What did you tell me each time? 

 

0:05:57 – Kayla

No, because my grandma said do not date your boss. 

 

0:06:02 – Brian

But you flirted with me the whole time. Do not date your boss, but you flirted with me the whole time. 

 

0:06:06 – Kayla

I did, but it was a great summer, and then we did end up having our first date after I went back to college. You know, each couple has to decide this for themselves. We met in June, we started dating in September, we got engaged in December and we have been together for, like we said, nearly 31 years. 

 

0:06:26 – Brian

Got married in August. 

 

0:06:28 – Kayla

We have spent. 11 of those years we lived in New Orleans, Louisiana, and the last 20 years we have been here in Virginia. 

 

0:06:38 – Brian

We were never able to have children, no, but we did have— A very, very, very spooled dog we did. His name was Sprocket. We had him. For what? Very, very spool dog? We did, his name was Sprocket. 

 

0:06:46 – Kayla

We had him for what? 14 and a half years we did at 13. 

 

0:06:51 – Brian

And 13, 14, I don’t know. He was with us a long time and it wasn’t long enough, but he was the world’s greatest pup. 

 

0:06:59 – Kayla

He really was. He had the quirkiest personality. 

 

0:07:03 – Brian

Love him, yeah Still do so, Miss Sanders, how would you describe me? 

 

0:07:10 – Kayla

How would I describe me? You have a heart the size of Texas. Your love for the Lord is undeniable. Anyone who meets you knows that you have a passion for exploring and understanding Scripture and getting to know God more deeply. You are all in. You’re all in on friendships. You’re all in on your work. You live out loud. You love life. You are exuberant, you are charming, you are generous. You’re one of the most hilarious people I’ve ever had the privilege of doing life with. Um. You’re a magnet for crazy. True, we share stories on here all the time of strange things that happen. It just seems to find you. I just show up. You are an incredible storyteller and you make others feel at ease. I find it amazing the way when we are with new people, you help them to feel instantly comfortable. You also have never left me wondering if I am cherished by you. Since day one, I have known where I stand with B. 

 

0:08:31 – Brian

How would I describe you? Beautiful? You’re more beautiful today than you were the day I married you. 

 

0:08:38 – Kayla

Whatever, I’m not even sure I come out of my hair today. 

 

0:08:41 – Brian

See, I didn’t say a word the whole time she said all of it. I didn’t say a word. 

 

0:08:46 – Kayla

Even though I disagree with most of it. 

 

0:08:50 – Brian

You are more beautiful today than the day that I married you. You are kind, you are patient, you are full of grace, you are stately, you are proper. 

 

0:09:03 – Kayla

I’m British. 

 

0:09:05 – Brian

She’s British. 

 

0:09:05 – Kayla

We have to be proper. 

 

0:09:07 – Brian

She is, she’s proper. You love Jesus, your faith. I’m jealous of your faith because you just believing and you just trusting and I can’t do that. You are a planner. You like for things A, b, c, d, e, f, g. You like that. I’m like, well, we’ll go to A, then we’ll bop over to Z, then we’ll come back to D. No, I mean so, but you’re a planner and I love that. You make me a better man and you make me want to know Jesus more, want to know Jesus more. You create a beautiful home where we are comfortable or things are at ease. When you enter a room, peace enters the room. So I thank God every day that he brought you into my life. 

 

0:09:58 – Kayla

No, what would you say? 

 

0:10:00 – Brian

Stop right there. Do you believe any of what I just said? 

 

0:10:03 – Kayla

Me I told you. What are the golden rules of our marriage? 

 

0:10:10 – Brian

Well. 

 

0:10:11 – Kayla

We have a few. We have a few things that these are the things that are sacred to us. 

 

0:10:15 – Brian

We strive daily to make Jesus the center of our relationship. We do devos, we usually discuss the devos with each other, and we try to live that out. When I say making Jesus the center of our relationship, what I mean by that? Well, I’ll say the first one we try to die to ourselves daily. In other words, I want to make much of you and I see you trying to make much of me. So it’s a little bit of a contest some days to see who can make the most of each other. 

 

0:10:48 – Kayla

But if you are always about what you can get out of a relationship, it’s going to be very contentious and it’s going to be a harder road because you’re going to live in a place where you’re constantly disappointed. If it’s all about taking rather than giving We’ve said this we acknowledge what makes the other person feel cherished. Early in our marriage, we had the privilege of going to a conference that was put on by Gary Smalley. 

 

0:11:19 – Brian

We had lunch with him that day we did. 

 

0:11:21 – Kayla

It was the five love languages, and we learned that your love languages are words of affirmation and physical touch, mine are acts of service and quality time, and we kind of blend on that one. The more we’ve been together, you’re more about quality time as well. 

 

0:11:42 – Brian

I like being with you. 

 

0:11:43 – Kayla

So it’s important to us that we acknowledge those in each other Y’all. If he wants to make me feel adored, take the trash out. That’s all I need, and you do it all the time, so yeah. 

 

0:11:55 – Brian

Now the difference is I think you can put more in it than she does. Let’s just say that. We’ll leave that there um okay, um, sorry, we communicate and we talk a lot, yeah, so we talk in the morning, we talk during the day, we talk at night, we talk when we go to bed. We talk about everything now I will say there are. There are no secrets no, there are no secrets here. We just try to put everything on the table. Now I’ll say this she is more of the talker than I am. 

 

0:12:28 – Kayla

I’m a verbal processor, I’m not. Yeah, and you’re very good at enduring that, because I know there are times when I don’t endure that. 

 

Well, there are times when I really need to sit with something and I need to talk it through, and you are incredibly patient with that. I can tell when there is something bothering you. Sometimes I have to give you time before I smoke it out. You need to sit with things. I can tell when it’s time to say, okay, spill it. But the thing that makes me concerned for marriages is when people say, well, we’re too busy to communicate. 

 

0:13:02 – Brian

You’re not. That’s a danger sign. 

 

0:13:04 – Kayla

That’s a danger sign. That’s a red flag. Never stop dating. 

 

0:13:11 – Brian

We just had a lunch date yeah, we just went down to a little place and had shrimp tacos. 

 

0:13:14 – Kayla

They were amazing. Yeah, they were great. You have to make time for each other. 

 

0:13:18 – Brian

And we talked there. We were talking about our next vacation, we were talking about what I did this morning and some of the plans that I’m trying to get through that kind of stuff. So we do that. Let me go back to the whole thing about communication. My brain works that like. I will think something through and then I’m done with it and I’ll put it aside. What I’ve had to learn is I need to keep some kind of a checklist in my head that when we talk, I can share all that stuff with you. 

 

0:13:48 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:13:48 – Brian

Because we process stuff differently. Like you said, you’re a verbal processor. Yeah, I’m not. 

 

0:13:55 – Kayla

You’ve already worked it out and moved on. 

 

0:13:56 – Brian

I’ve already worked it out and moved on. 

 

0:13:57 – Kayla

Yeah, but you realize I may need to know that piece of the puzzle Correct so that I have a glimpse into your life. Yes, this one is a big deal. Protect each other and what you have, and I want to explain this just a little bit. There’s several ways to do this. I am always going to be B’s biggest cheerleader. I’m going to be the one that speaks positively of him to others and I’m encouraging him and cheering him. On. Another way that this kind of falls out we practice firm boundaries with others and that looks like we do not have friendships. I don’t have friendships with guys. You don’t have friendships with females. 

 

0:14:44 – Brian

Some people say that’s old school. I just find that it protects the marriage and it protects purity. 

 

0:14:49 – Kayla

Now we will have friendships together that are other couple.

 

0:14:53 – Brian

Yeah, we’ll go out as a couple. 

 

0:14:55 – Kayla

We don’t make a habit of you texting other women. Now let me clarify this because you do have to in your work. But if it’s a side relationship and someone is texting you, I’ll actually show you the text I’m going to get copied in on the response. 

 

0:15:11 – Brian

I’ll usually loop you in on that text thread, that kind of stuff. 

 

0:15:14 – Kayla

But we’ve had situations where people have asked things as simple as could you give me a ride to the airport? 

 

0:15:20 – Brian

No, no, sorry, I can’t, I’m not doing that. No, no, Sorry, I can’t, I’m not doing that. 

 

0:15:23 – Kayla

You know, we just be careful what limits you don’t put on your relationship that leave you kind of open and exposed to any potential. So yeah, that’s us. We’re not saying these are the rules that have to work for every marriage, but this is how we have been able to thrive. 

 

0:15:46 – Brian

And that’s what I want to say. I’ve never gotten bored with you. I still find you interesting. I still find how you respond to things fascinating. 

 

0:15:56 – Kayla

You still surprise me. I’m still learning things about you. I mean, at Disney, I just learned that you’re scared of heights. I never knew that. I mean we Disney, I just learned that you’re scared of heights. I never knew that. I mean we’ve been together, for we’ve known each other for 32 years.

 

0:16:09 – Brian

I’m not necessarily scared of heights. I’m scared on a certain ride that makes you feel like you’re 80,000 feet in the air. Now, if I was sitting on the ground I’d be fine with that, but this ride it actually elevates you off the ground and it tilts you. I can’t handle that. Okay, I can’t. I can’t handle. But see, I’m fine in an airplane. For some reason my mind says my feet are on the ground, it’s on the plane, but there you go. 

 

0:16:37 – Kayla

Yeah, I’m not agreeing with you on that one. 

 

0:16:38 – Brian

I wish that they’d give us each like a little bouncy suit, like on the plane. Oh, my gosh so you’d hit and it’d blow up and it’d bounce off Well after the plane rides I’ve heard about this week we might need one. 

 

0:16:47 – Kayla

There you go. I will say this the beauty of 31-ish years, and we’ll spend a future podcast on this. 

 

0:16:54 – Brian

there is a comfortable silence at times we talked about this the other night how we seem to hit a good rhythm. 

 

0:17:02 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:17:03 – Brian

That we do the day to day. 

 

0:17:04 – Kayla

Well, we talk and and it’s not always about the big showy moment. Sometimes it’s about the simplicity of life. Yeah, so yeah, we’ll come back to that. 

 

0:17:17 – Brian

I love this little game and you always. I never get to choose, you always get to choose. 

 

0:17:23 – Kayla

So the next time we play, no, I will let you choose. 

 

0:17:26 – Brian

My feelings are choose. 

 

0:17:27 – Kayla

You always get to choose, so the next time we play, I will let you choose my feelings are hurt, you’ll recover. You have a million times. 

 

0:17:32 – Brian

The compassion is deep, all right. 

 

0:17:35 – Kayla

This or that. 

 

0:17:35 – Brian

Okay, what’s the first one, ocean or swimming pool? 

 

0:17:39 – Kayla

I am swimming pool all the way. 

 

0:17:44 – Brian

I need to be able to see what’s underneath my feet. I will. Usually I’ll do neither because I’m just not comfortable, but if we’re at the ocean I’ll swim out midway so I can pee. Wow, like I can stand up to my waist. So I mean, nobody knows it’s the ocean. Oh my gosh, them fish pee in there. 

 

0:18:00 – Kayla

Will you do that this summer, knowing that one Like straight over there was a shark attack? 

 

0:18:07 – Brian

this summer. 

 

0:18:08 – Kayla

Will you really? 

 

0:18:10 – Brian

How big’s he got to be to take a bite out of me? Look at me, we’re talking jaws Quit. 

 

0:18:18 – Kayla

So snacks, Sweet or salty. 

 

0:18:23 – Brian

I can’t do sweet so I’m going to have to go with salty. But I’ve been doing like like carrots and little cherry tomatoes and broccoli and cheese, so I don’t think that’s really salty either you oh, I’m sweet all the way brownies, cookies chocolate, all right. 

 

0:18:42 – Kayla

No, you really haven’t regained your stuff, really not every once in a while I have a taste for dark chocolate. 

 

0:18:48 – Brian

Now give this woman a good gummy bear. 

 

0:18:51 – Kayla

Oh, a really good gummy bear, and, yeah, I’m taking it down.

 

0:18:53 – Brian

Yeah, she loves a good gummy bear, introvert or extrovert. 

 

0:18:58 – Kayla

I am an introvert all the way. 

 

0:19:07 – Brian

I am what’s called an ambivert I can be around people, yeah.

 

0:19:09 – Kayla

I love being around people, but after two or three hours you need to recharge. I need to go, get in a corner somewhere, recharge, yeah, and I’ll be fine but when we are in social settings, you are energized, whereas I am just dying on the vine. I just it’s like somebody take me out. 

 

0:19:26 – Brian

Yeah who are all these people and why will they not go home? And then I’m going to be awkward. 

 

0:19:34 – Kayla

I mean just last night, no, I am Be. Just last night at Bible study I realized Kay, just listen, don’t try to say anything because you’re going to step off in it. I just do all the time. It’s who I am, you’re not awkward Spender or saver. 

 

0:19:53 – Brian

I’d say we’re both savers. We are, but if I’m going to buy something, it’s usually your toys are expensive. Yeah, like right now I’m looking at a new backpack that has that’s like you just bought one. Can I explain what I’m looking at? It’s the Star Wars Empire. 

 

0:20:14 – Kayla

Oh God help me. 

 

0:20:16 – Brian

OK. 

 

0:20:16 – Kayla

OK, ok, drive or fly. 

 

0:20:22 – Brian

Based on that reaction, you know, I guess I’m probably not coming to my house. Go ahead, We’ll pray about it. You see that guess I’m probably not coming to my house. Go ahead. 

 

0:20:31 – Kayla

We’ll pray about it. You see, that’s a no. What is it a good, What is it a good mom always says Maybe, so yeah, okay, back to the questions. Drive or fly. 

 

0:20:42 – Brian

I’ll fly In a heartbeat, in a heartbeat, if it’s seven hours or under. 

 

0:20:48 – Kayla

I’m all about driving. 

 

0:20:50 – Brian

If it was 45 minutes, I’d fly. I hate Really. I would I mean, if I could have a private helicopter. 

 

0:20:56 – Kayla

No see, that’s on those little bitty planes. What? 

 

0:20:59 – Brian

if you had a private With like a two-seater? What if you had a private helicopter? No I don’t think I’d be down in a heartbeat, summer or winter summer, all the way. I’m gonna do spring and fall, even though it’s not a choice no, I’m gonna make you choose summer or winter probably summer. I can’t endure the cold, the cold is just too much now but I do agree with you. 

 

0:21:23 – Kayla

I’m a huge fan of spring and fall, but summer I can find ways to to cool down. I just my teeth stay clenched in the winter because it’s so cold. I can morning person or night out you can’t take enough clothes off to get cool okay, I didn’t see that coming oh, do what we should definitely move on Morning person or night owl. 

 

0:21:48 – Brian

Morning. You used to be a night owl. 

 

0:21:51 – Kayla

I used to be a night owl. 

 

0:21:54 – Brian

I think since joining the gym, the gym’s kicked you high. 

 

0:21:57 – Kayla

It’s kicked my tail into being, I will say this there is something amazing about the peace of the early morning. I totally grasp. Now new morning mercies, because watching the sun come up, watching a day restart, it’s quiet, it’s peaceful, until someone starts telling Lincoln stories. You’ve gotten better. 

 

0:22:21 – Brian

If you’re new to the podcast, I love Abraham Lincoln. He’s a hero. I wrote a book Leadership Endurance. About a third of it is about Abraham Lincoln. You can find it on Amazon. 

 

0:22:31 – Kayla

And it’s a great book and you have great stories. 

 

0:22:35 – Brian

But you just don’t want to hear them at 5. 

 

0:22:36 – Kayla

I just don’t want to hear them at 5 o’clock in the morning. Why that’s a new morning mercy for you, because it’s 5 o’clock in the morning. 

 

0:22:42 – Brian

All right Cake or pie Cake all the way. 

 

0:22:46 – Kayla

I can’t do either, but if I could I’m going to choose, I would say this would be my guess, cake with a little bit of milk. 

 

0:22:55 – Brian

I’d put a piece of cake in the bowl and pour milk over it. Yep. So steak or shrimp, both you got to choose one. 

 

0:23:07 – Kayla

I’ll choose steak. I’m going to oh, really, okay. Well, it depends on who’s cooking the shrimp. 

 

0:23:16 – Brian

I don’t want to die that’s not on this piece of paper. Right here it says steak or shrimp you’re a little sassy, aren’t you? 

 

0:23:23 – Kayla

I saw that. Look, Disney or universal, there’s no contest Disney, Disney, all the way universal. We have some friends who they prefer universal studios and they’re. 

 

0:23:27 – Brian

I saw that Look Disney or Universal, there’s no contest. 

 

0:23:29 – Kayla

Disney, Disney, all the way. Universal doesn’t even we have some friends who they prefer Universal. 

 

0:23:32 – Brian

Studios and they’re wrong. Oh snap, I mean they don’t have. There’s Mickey and Minnie and Donald and Daisy. Our preference is Disney World, if you’re a Christian, you go Disney World. 

 

0:23:45 – Kayla

Okay, that escalated quickly, so there we go. That’s this edition of this, or that. Do you have some others that you would like to add? 

 

0:23:55 – Brian

So which Disney park? Epcot all the way. Hollywood Studios. Yeah so what’s that? Ice cream or yogurt? Oh, ice cream, yeah cream. Yeah that’s up the Lord. Pork chop. Or ribs, oh, pork chop Really. You’re not a rib fan are you? 

 

0:24:20 – Kayla

I’m not a huge rib fan. Again, it depends on who cooked them. 

 

0:24:24 – Brian

Here we go. It’s all these little Y’all. It’s the fine print in the contract that gets me. 

 

0:24:30 – Kayla

It has for 31 years. That’s not. 

 

0:24:33 – Brian

There’s no fine print. Hey, thanks for listening to this week’s edition of the podcast, and we’d like to send you a peas and carrots mug, a peas and carrots pen, a notepad and some Some stickers. No, what do you call them? Cute little stickers, cute little stickers. 

 

0:24:49 – Kayla

No what do you call them Cute little stickers? I’m sorry, though. The notepad is really cute too. It has little checkboxes where you can make your list, and it’s like a Post-it note. Each of the little sheets come off so they will stick to your refrigerator or wherever you need them to. Yeah, I’m in love. 

 

0:25:07 – Brian

I got tickled last week Adam Reed, who’s my executive assistant and one of my best friends in the world, because whenever y’all win something, he sends it out. He says, B, can I have some of these notepads? 

 

0:25:19 – Kayla

You’re the one that ships them. You don’t have to ask. 

 

0:25:23 – Brian

Oh, so you’ve got a thousand of them in your garage. Take as many as you want. 

 

0:25:27 – Kayla

So if you would like to have your own cute little stickers and notepad, the first couple of people or more I mean, we’ve not really held to this, honestly but the first few people that go to our website answer the question correctly and you will win all of the above. Our website is peasandcarrotspodcast.com. 

 

0:25:47 – Brian

When you get there, you can go to peasandcarrotspodcast.com. When you get there, you can go to peasandcarrotspodcast.com. When you get there, click on the trivia button and this week’s question. 

 

0:25:57 – Kayla

Are you a morning person or a night owl? All right. 

 

0:26:01 – Brian

So you’re a morning person or night owl? Go to peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Answer that question. 

 

0:26:06 – Kayla

You can search the Peas and Carrots podcast wherever you get your podcasts, or visit our website. Again, that is peasandcarrotspodcast.com. When you do, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast. 

 

0:26:17 – Brian

You can also follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Just search for the Peas and Carrots podcast. You know how the weatherman says there’s like a 60% chance of rain or a 40% chance of rain. 

 

0:26:28 – Kayla

Okay. 

 

0:26:29 – Brian

What’s the percentage chance of getting a Chick-fil-A ice cream today? 

 

0:26:33 – Kayla

Oh, probably 100. Okay, all right. There you go.

 

0:26:35 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Growing through the challenges we face and finding hope along the way. That’s the Jesus Fix It Podcast with Jess. Check out jesusfixit.com or search Jesus Fix It wherever you listen to podcasts.

 

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Season 3, Episode 19: Empty Nesters

Can We Talk?
Empty Nesters - Episode Description

Kayla can barely hold back her excitement about hugging Winnie the Pooh during our upcoming Disney vacation, and Brian finds himself humorously torn about whether to use the resort gym amidst all the walking. As we share our daily routines, from Kayla’s involvement in a women’s summer study at church to Brian’s newfound joy in grilling on a spotless grill, the conversation takes a heartfelt turn. We candidly explore the emotional complexities of Father’s Day, especially when faced with infertility and the reality of being empty nesters. We reflect on how certain holidays can be particularly challenging without children in the family, making this a deeply personal and relatable discussion.

We delve into themes of faith and gratitude, sharing touching stories about our experiences with other “children” God has given us and their profound impact on our lives. Amid these emotional moments, we lighten the atmosphere by discussing our favorite fictional characters and books, debating the age-old question of reading the book before watching the movie, and sharing our thoughts on Disney parks. We also spill the beans on our fears, future plans for getting a dog, and foods we absolutely refuse to eat. This episode is a rollercoaster of emotions, filled with laughter, love, and unexpected insights that will keep you engaged from start to finish.

Empty Nesters - Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 

 

0:00:11 – Brian

Welcome to the peas and carrots podcast. Hi, I’m Kayla and I’m Brian. Welcome to this week’s edition of the vegetable patch. I’ll tell you y’all, let’s just start here. Why are you so excited? 

 

0:00:25 – Kayla

The countdown is on. Countdown four we are leaving for vacation in a few days. 

 

0:00:32 – Brian

She’s got her little hands out in front of her like a little girl and she’s swinging them back and forth. 

 

0:00:38 – Kayla

Yeah, it’s vacation time. 

 

0:00:41 – Brian

Now, who are you going to see? 

 

0:00:43 – Kayla

Winnie the Pooh, Tigger, Eeyore Piglet. 

 

0:00:49 – Brian

Mickey Minnie, you sound like an eight-year-old you going to hug Winnie the Pooh? Yes, absolutely. You going to hug Mickey Mouse, probably. 

 

0:01:00 – Kayla

Okay, I mean maybe not, I don’t know, Donald Duck, and I mean they’re all right, but you don’t like Donald, I do. 

 

0:01:10 – Brian

But you love Winnie. 

 

0:01:10 – Kayla

But I love Winnie the Pooh. Okay To me All right. But yeah, we are headed south for vacation. We are, and I’m so ready. 

 

0:01:20 – Brian

I talked to my friend who lives down there. He said to bring shorts. 

 

0:01:23 – Kayla

He says it’s hot yeah, it’s 98 degrees the day we land. 

 

0:01:26 – Brian

So a little bit toasty. Miss Sanders is outside of her comfort zone and God’s using you, I’ll say that because last night you started what. 

 

0:01:38 – Kayla

We started our women’s summer study at church and it was really sweet sitting in a room with about gosh, I don’t know probably 30 women who, seeing them huddled in groups talking about just life and their journey with Jesus, and it was pretty amazing. It took me a while to wind down. I’m a little tired today because it was after 11 o’clock before all the adrenaline left my body. 

 

0:02:07 – Brian

I was asleep by then. 

 

0:02:09 – Kayla

But I actually had to like people and talk, stand up in front of the group. 

 

0:02:14 – Brian

It didn’t kill me. So proud of you. Why? Thank you. God’s using you. 

 

0:02:21 – Kayla

You are a very, very happy man. 

 

0:02:23 – Brian

I am because I’m grilling again. You are a very, very happy man. I am because I’m grilling again. My beautiful bride this past weekend cleaned my grill for me. It really wasn’t bad. I would like to clean my grill, but this is a conversation. My standards of what is clean is different from other people’s standards and we’ll leave other people undefined at this time. Good choice, okay. Yeah, so miss sanders cleaned my grill for me. I did, and you’ve. 

 

0:02:53 – Kayla

I’ve planted all the flowers, and so the back deck is your little sanctuary. Oh, I love it you can sit out there I grilled us some steaks, grilled some chicken last night. 

 

0:03:03 – Brian

So it’s just chicken last night. I’m a happy, happy, happy boy. Summer is in full swing. 

 

0:03:09 – Kayla

I’m excited, so I may have floated an idea with you. Here we go, that while we were on vacation our Hang on Before we get this out. 

 

0:03:19 – Brian

The answer is no. The answer is no, but go ahead. The answer is maybe. The answer is no, our go ahead. 

 

0:03:24 – Kayla

Go ahead. The answer is maybe the answer is no, our resort has a really nice gym. 

 

0:03:30 – Brian

Okay, let’s stop here. Okay, how many miles a day are we going to be walking at Disney? A lot, seven to eight. I do not see the need to go. 

 

0:03:42 – Kayla

But we could do some of our strength training. 

 

0:03:43 – Brian

No, no, I just still haven’t recovered from the to go, but we could do some of our strength training no no. I just still haven’t recovered from the look on your face by about 12 noon or 1 o’clock we’ll be strength training dragging my tail from here to get a Dole Whip ice cream across the thing in Hollywood Studios. 

 

0:03:57 – Kayla

That’s my strength training, okay good to know, so it’s a maybe. 

 

0:04:02 – Brian

No, it’s not a maybe. I will stretch forth a hand and pray for you as you go to the gym, while I lay in bed. 

 

0:04:09 – Kayla

In all seriousness, though, what is the gym next to at our resort? What is right next door to the gym? Ice cream, an ice cream store? 

 

0:04:18 – Brian

I will walk by you with an ice cream I’ll wave at you. I’ll even watch you. It doesn’t, no, but if I’m walking eight miles a day, I am not going to the gym. Okay, in 98-degree weather. So maybe I’ll have sweat rolling in places I haven’t seen in three years. Bless America, so that’s a hard pass for me. Are you really going to go to the gym on vacation? Maybe, Maybe I don’t believe it. I do not believe it. Best laid plans y’all Best laid plans. 

 

0:04:59 – Kayla

Forever empty nesters. It’s a good this is a good topic, but a hard topic Again, being that this is coming up on Father’s Day and that is a complicated holiday for you. You had a wonderful dad. 

 

0:05:17 – Brian

I had a great dad I mean the best ever, even wrote a book about him called Be Like Dad, which you can find on Amazon, by the way. But this is a tough holiday for me, and we’ve talked about this before on this podcast. We’ve talked about infertility. We never were able to have children and we were in that time period where we didn’t adopt either. Okay, let’s just be honest. And now, being 56, don’t take this wrong I don’t want a kid in my house. I’m too old, I’m setting my ways and I’m cranky. I want to go to bed about eight, 30. Okay, I’m just because by the time that kid’s coming out of diapers, I’ll be going into them. So I just say it. But Father’s Day and Mother’s Day are hard days. 

 

0:06:07 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:06:08 – Brian

And sometimes Christmas Day can be hard. 

 

0:06:11 – Kayla

Yeah, Because you see all these pictures of families snuggled up on the sofa in their matching pajamas and they’re doing all these things together. 

 

0:06:22 – Brian

But as many of our friends, it’s just me and you, which is great, it’s wonderful. 

 

0:06:26 – Kayla

Yeah, we are a family. Yeah, but we were saying the other night, as it comes up on Father’s Day, there are so many of our friends entering the stage of life where they are becoming grandparents. We are reminded that life looks different for us. 

 

0:06:43 – Brian

Not bad, but different and we’re not asking you to feel sorry for us or something like that. No, we’re just sharing our struggle, how we’ve seen Christ be sufficient. Let me say it absolutely yeah. Let me say it like that yeah, there is no pity here. 

 

0:07:01 – Kayla

There is no woe is us, there is a may. We all remember each other’s situation, that our situation is also not the same as our single friends, and then our situation is not the same as those who would long to have an evening with a quiet home. So, yeah, it’s again. It’s different is not bad. It just means that we embrace a different reality. 

 

0:07:32 – Brian

Now. So let me just say this we’re never going to have a home that has grandkids squealing in it. 

 

0:07:38 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:07:39 – Brian

Their parents begging us not to spoil them. But I guarantee you we would. 

 

0:07:43 – Kayla

Oh, absolutely. 

 

0:07:44 – Brian

I mean, I’d take them to Target and whatever they pointed at, I’d buy it. 

 

0:07:47 – Kayla

Yep, I have no doubt. 

 

0:07:50 – Brian

But let me say this we also have a history. Whenever we lived in New Orleans 20 years ago, we mentored college, we mentored seminary students and every Thursday night there’d be 10, 15 students in our home. 

 

0:08:09 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:08:10 – Brian

And when we moved here to Virginia, we just continued that tradition. We brought college students in our home and there were Thursday nights when we were here in Virginia, where there’d be 20 students in our home.

 

0:08:24 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:08:24 – Brian

And many of them called us mom and dad. 

 

0:08:27 – Kayla

And that was a real privilege to get to do life with them. So a typical Thursday, and again this started in New Orleans with seminary students who were single, lonely. They were part of our church but they did not have a home outside of church. They were really struggling some of them. So we would have dinner together and then we would spend probably 30 to 45 minutes talking about something theologically related. 

 

0:08:56 – Brian

We’d have a Bible study. 

 

0:08:57 – Kayla

And then we watched Survivor. It was a tradition that everyone would kind of choose who they thought was going to win Survivor and we would watch that together and then, honestly, some Thursdays at like 11 o’clock, we would say, okay, you people have to go home, we have to go to bed. 

 

0:09:14 – Brian

And it was always a race to see who could be there first Thursday night because they’d bring their laundry. 

 

0:09:18 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:09:19 – Brian

And so they would always bring laundry. 

 

0:09:21 – Kayla

I’ve taught many a young man and young woman how to sort clothes. Well, I’m up for that lesson. So, yeah, no, you’re good you leave our laundry alone. 

 

0:09:31 – Brian

We also had a rule in New Orleans that Friday night was like date night. 

 

0:09:35 – Kayla

Yeah, our home was opened. Honestly, Thursday night was not the only night that they could visit, but Friday night was off limits. And I think we’ve shared this before. 

 

0:09:44 – Brian

We’ve shared this story before. How I jokingly said, Friday night’s off limits, I said now, if you show up at midnight, that’s okay, that’s Saturday, that is off limits. I said now, if you show up at midnight, that’s okay, that’s Saturday. 

 

0:09:56 – Kayla

I never thought anybody would show up at 12.01 am. 

 

0:09:57 – Brian

DR Randall shows up at our door. 

 

0:10:01 – Kayla

Are y’all awake? Yeah, son, what’s up? 

 

0:10:05 – Brian

Well, you said we could stop by after 12. Well, what am I going to do? Come on in. 

 

0:10:12 – Kayla

You’re going to watch a movie, and that’s what you did. I think I fell asleep, yeah, but he was happy. So, yes, we have had a bounty of a really rich life with students who not only have we had a chance to pour into them, they’ve poured into us, and we now have young men and women who have families of their own and we get to delight in seeing them going through different stages with their kids, and they are incredible parents and it’s been fun watching various ones of them get married and then have kids and settling down and buying their first home. 

 

The call that we get of. I mean, I’ve lost count of the number of young men in particular that have said hey, would you all meet us for dinner? It’s important that you meet my fiancé, or hey, there was one in particular. We were sworn to secrecy that there was going to be a proposal, but it was important to him that we meet her beforehand. So different is not always bad, but here’s the reality that we are in. They have all grown and flown, as parents would say, and genuinely as they should. They have their grown and flown, as parents would say, and and genuinely as they should. They have their families to go to when, when Christmas rolls around, when easter hits, when they go and spend time with their biological parents, and that is exactly how it should be. Now we have been surprised and delighted on many a holiday where we’ve gotten a text saying hey, we’re in town, Can we get together? Can we visit Now? 

 

0:12:02 – Brian

I need to be honest. I’m just going to be very vulnerable. It still hurts some Sure. After all these years it still stings that kids and grandkids that they never show up, that kids and grandkids that they never show up. So I’m trying to grow in this to be satisfied with him. 

 

0:12:19 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:12:20 – Brian

Because he is to be my portion. 

 

0:12:23 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:12:23 – Brian

I am to taste and see the Lord is good. I’m not to taste and see what I wish I had. I’m to taste and see that he is good. Yeah, so that’s what I’m trying to do. 

 

0:12:37 – Kayla

And I will admit as well that there are times that that familiar ache returns, never knowing what it’s going to feel like to carry another human, never getting to answer questions such as okay, whose eye color would he have? Whose personality would she emulate? How tall would he be? What would she be when she grows up? I mean, these are questions that we’ll never have an answer, and yet the Lord has been faithful to fill our lives beyond full, just not with children of our own. And yet I also, at this stage in my life, I see friends of ours who they have raised children and then, for various reasons, their children have kind of gone their own way and so pouring out as a parent for 20 plus years, and then your child kind of turns and veers off, and I cannot imagine that heartache. And so everything is a little complicated. When you really stop and think about it, life is not just cut and dry. 

 

0:13:51 – Brian

No, I’ve come to this realization is that what they sell you in movies is a lie. It’s never that beautiful. It’s never that peaceful and it’s never where you get to put a bow on it and say life is perfect, it’s never like that. 

 

0:14:05 – Kayla

So I do worry. 

 

0:14:08 – Brian

Shock. 

 

0:14:09 – Kayla

I know what if god takes me first really that’s always been something that no, no this is something that plagues me and I worry that if god took me first, if we’d had kids, I could know that you had loved ones who were going to take care of you upon my passing, and that’s always plagued me a little bit. 

 

0:14:33 – Brian

That plagues me as well, because your worry is my worry. I mean I get up at 2 o’clock in the morning to go do what 56-year-old men do at that time of the morning and I come back to lay down and those things start. I mean it keeps me awake. Like you know, if I don’t wake up in the morning, she’s alone. There’s nobody there, and so I try to yeah. That’s why church, community and that kind of stuff sometimes is important, because now I don’t want to leave, tomorrow I’d like to have another. 

 

0:15:03 – Kayla

Yeah, please don’t. 

 

0:15:04 – Brian

I’d like to have another 20, 30 years with you. Yeah, as long as I can get around well, but I do worry about that. But I have to trust that the God who’s gotten us this far, he will be faithful to get us home. Yeah so. 

 

0:15:18 – Kayla

Yeah, and another beauty in this is we can see that God continues to surround us with couples. They’re beginning their journey. We can encourage them, we can support them, we can help them to see that it won’t always be this hard. But I may not ever fully understand his ways. I know enough of him that I can assure that younger couple that God is good and I can share with them, that he can be trusted and that he’s faithful and he’s true, and that his plans for them are way better than any plans we could ever have of our own. 

 

0:16:03 – Brian

I didn’t think I was going to cry today. You’re just ripping my heart out. You’re just ripping my heart out. I guess I got a little bit further to go than you. I would tell those couples that he’s true and he’s faithful and he’s loving and he’s caring. But part of your life might also be a little bit of bitter profit, because God doesn’t always operate. 

 

0:16:29 – Kayla

But hopefully that will drive you closer to him. Gotta get a Kleenex. 

 

0:16:35 – Brian

I wasn’t expecting this today. I mean here you roll up in here. So sorry, now my mascara’s running Stop. Will I ever be 100%? Okay with this? I’m trying. 

 

0:16:54 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:16:55 – Brian

I am trying, but I’m thankful for Jesus. I’m thankful for you, darling, I mean it. I’m also thankful for all the kids who’ve passed through our home kids who’ve? 

 

passed through our home, yeah, I mean. And when they’re in town, they make a point to see us and introduce us to all their littles. And some of them they’ll call us and they’ll say Mom, Dad, we’re expecting baby number five. And I’m like, look, y’all need to figure out what’s causing this and stop it. You’re on five or six now, okay, so, but we love it. But I just want to say this what you just said deeply impacted me. I’m trying yeah. 

 

And I can tell couples that he’s faithful and he’s good, and I’ll do a better job of that. So that’s too much for me. Thank you, getting to know you. 

 

0:17:54 – Kayla

Yeah, okay, that was pretty heavy, so we need a little lighthearted. 

 

0:18:00 – Brian

I’m still wiping tears in my eyes. Yeah, I need a candy bar Piece of fried chicken. All right, what you got. 

 

0:18:10 – Kayla

Just a few questions about us. Some of these we get from people and some of these that I came up with on my own Just to kind of let them get to know us just a little bit better. Who is your favorite fictional character? 

 

0:18:23 – Brian

Darth Vader or Godzilla? Quick answer, or can I give one more? Sure? Willy Wonka, oh good one. Gene Wilder yeah, you favorite fictional character. 

 

0:18:36 – Kayla

Mine would be Mary Poppins. 

 

0:18:40 – Brian

Practically perfect in every way. 

 

0:18:42 – Kayla

Or, of course, any of the Winnie the Pooh characters. 

 

0:18:45 – Brian

I don’t understand Al. I don’t even know why he’s in the mix. He’s wise. No, he’s not, he’s crazy. 

 

0:18:51 – Kayla

Oh Well, all right then Best book you have read to date? 

 

0:18:58 – Brian

This year To date Best book Not this year. 

 

0:19:00 – Kayla

Just To date Best book Not this year just To date, unreasonable Hospitality. 

 

0:19:06 – Brian

Oh, phenomenal, phenomenal book, loved it you. 

 

0:19:14 – Kayla

The Diary of Anne Frank Wow. 

 

0:19:17 – Brian

That’s gone a little bit back. 

 

0:19:19 – Kayla

Okay, I’ve read some good books, but that one still impacts me more than I think any other. I mean not including the bible, but yeah somebody’s going to somebody gonna be like you people need some Jesus. Will you ever get another dog? We get this question a lot the answer is yes, okay we’re just not in a season to have a dog we’re not. 

 

0:19:42 – Brian

We’re way too busy and we wouldn’t be home enough. 

 

0:19:46 – Kayla

We are typically home two, two and a half hours a night, and that would be well. Let me clarify that. 

 

0:19:54 – Brian

Hang on, where are we sleeping? 

 

0:19:55 – Kayla

Before we go to sleep. That would just seem very selfish at this stage of our life, but we do. We have plans to get another dog. What are you most afraid of? 

 

0:20:09 – Brian

How honest do I want to be? 

 

0:20:10 – Kayla

Oh, you have to tell the truth or I will. 

 

0:20:13 – Brian

Spiders and being alone. 

 

0:20:16 – Kayla

Getting lost because it’s happened before. 

 

0:20:21 – Brian

Yes, yes, getting. 

 

0:20:23 – Kayla

I cannot handle feeling lost or not knowing where I’m going.

 

0:20:26 – Brian

That GPS takes this all throughout. Oh, I freak out. 

 

0:20:29 – Kayla

So what has to be first for you the book or the movie? 

 

0:20:33 – Brian

I really don’t care. Oh really. Yeah, I’ve never read the Harry Potter books. I’ve seen the movies 50 times a piece, though. 

 

0:20:41 – Kayla

What. 

 

0:20:43 – Brian

I’ve never read Chronicles of Narnia. I’ve watched those crappy movies too. Rude. Well, they got trees walking in them. 

 

0:20:54 – Kayla

And yet Godzilla is okay. This is where we are. Are we going to do this. 

 

0:21:02 – Brian

I feel a little judged. I didn’t criticize. 

 

0:21:06 – Kayla

We need to poo and you called chronicles of Narnia crappy. 

 

0:21:11 – Brian

Well it’s not my cup of tea. 

 

0:21:13 – Kayla

Well, okay, Godzilla’s not mine, but he’s awesome. Anyway, your punishment is you will now read the first Narnia book. 

 

0:21:21 – Brian

I am not Yep, I will go to book jail. I am not reading that Book jail. I am not reading that. 

 

0:21:27 – Kayla

Favorite Disney part. 

 

0:21:28 – Brian

No, you got to answer that Book or movie. 

 

0:21:30 – Kayla

Oh, I have to read the book first, really, because then I want to compare to see how true they stay to the book when I watch the movie. Why is that important? It matters to me. Maybe if you’d read the Chronicles of Narnia. You would like the movies have you ever read it. 

 

0:21:46 – Brian

Yes, all of them my uncle gifted me this set you read all that Prince Caspian stuff and all that. 

 

0:21:52 – Kayla

Yes, I did. Walking it back a little bit now. 

 

0:21:55 – Brian

No, I’m just because Carol Lass again take me to book jail. 

 

0:22:01 – Kayla

Favorite Disney park. 

 

0:22:03 – Brian

Hollywood Studios Easy Hollywood Studios. 

 

0:22:08 – Kayla

It’s a toss-up between Hollywood Studios and Epcot for me, because Epcot has the International Village and I love that. 

 

0:22:16 – Brian

You love the English village. I love all of it Fish and Chip. They have a little tea shop there in the English village. You like that. 

 

0:22:25 – Kayla

What is a food you refuse to eat? 

 

0:22:29 – Brian

Mushrooms, Brussels sprouts. Unless they’re doused in garlic and bacon. I’m not going to touch a Brussels sprout. If you can still taste Brussels, I ain’t touching the sprout. 

 

0:22:40 – Kayla

Yeah, it’s not happening. Probably okra. Oh yeah, ain’t touching this brown. Yeah, it’s not happening. Probably okra, oh yeah. 

 

0:22:47 – Brian

Mushy okra, yeah, bell peppers. 

 

0:22:49 – Kayla

Okay. We don’t have to list all of them. 

 

0:22:51 – Brian

Oh, sorry yeah. 

 

0:22:52 – Kayla

Okay, what is your Enneagram? 

 

0:22:55 – Brian

I’m an eight with a seven wing. 

 

0:22:57 – Kayla

And I’m a one with a two wing, and none of that surprises anybody who’s listening. A one with a two wing, and none of that surprises anybody who’s listening. So yeah, but there we are. So those are just some random questions about us. Speaking of questions, the first two people to go to our website and answer the question correctly, you will win a peas and carrots coffee mug what is this week’s trivia question? 

 

0:23:19 – Brian

so, our. 

 

0:23:20 – Kayla

Our question is book or movie which comes first for you? Do you have to read? 

 

0:23:27 – Brian

the book first, or I mean it doesn’t matter it’s just an honest answer. They can say I don’t care, but so hey, if you go to our website, the first few people go to our website. Answer that question correctly yeah, so book or movie. You’ll win a peas and carrots coffee mug, a good pack of Cute little stickers, and then we’ve added a pen a peas and carrots it’s very, very nice. They just came in. 

 

0:23:54 – Kayla

So click that trivia button. Answer that question. Peasandcarrotspodcast.com. You can search Peas and Carrots Podcast wherever you get your podcasts, or visit our website peasandcarrotspodcast.com. When you do, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast. 

 

0:24:09 – Brian

You can follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast. See you all later. I’m off to book jail. 

 

0:24:18 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Growing through the challenges we face and finding hope along the way. That’s the Jesus Fix It Podcast with Jess. Check out jesusfixit.com or search Jesus Fix It wherever you listen to podcasts. 

 

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Season 3, Episode 14: In Christ Alone My Hope Is Found

Can We Talk?
In Christ Alone My Hope Is Found - Episode Description
As Adam and Tricia return to our space of hope and healing, they unfurl the layers of their chronic illness journey, revealing how a steadfast faith has anchored them through the stormiest seas. They remind us that amidst the uncertainty, ‘tiny mercies’—those seemingly insignificant acts of kindness—become the lighthouse guiding us to shore. Their story is a testament to the power of community, where the collective embrace of friends and strangers alike becomes the embodiment of God’s love, especially poignant as they recount the heartwarming support received during the festive season.
This episode is not just about the struggles but also about finding that silver lining in the cloudiest skies. We navigate the emotional terrain of pain and its many facets, considering how our experiences can forge a deeper empathy and a robust theology of suffering. With Adam and Tricia’s insights, we peel back the layers of coping with chronic pain, the transformative nature of laughter, and the importance of allowing brokenness to breathe within our communities. There’s a sacred space in acknowledging that sometimes, we may not emerge from the valley—but even there, God’s omnipresence offers a profound sense of comfort.
Closing this chapter of our conversation, we reflect on the ways suffering shapes our faith and character, pondering the mysterious workings of ‘bitter providence.’ Through the Psalms, particularly Psalm 138, we find a wellspring of solace, and in sharing our ‘tiny mercies,’ we knit together a tapestry of grace that testifies to the enduring hope found in God’s promises. As you listen, we invite you to hold close the stories shared and consider the mercies in your own life, remembering that each step, no matter how small, is part of a divine dance orchestrated with love and intention.
In Christ Alone My Hope Is Found - Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 

 

0:00:11 – Brian

Welcome to the Peas and Carrots Podcast. Hello, I’m Brian, I’m Kayla, good to have you along this week. Welcome to episode 2. 

 

0:00:22 – Kayla

We’ll be talking again with Adam and Trisha. Yeah, this is part two of our conversation with the Reads. They have shared with all of us how they navigate a chronic illness and how they glorify Christ and give all of us hope in what they share in that. So we will get to that in just a minute. We’re going to keep our life updates really short this week because this is a powerful segment and the spotlight is on Adam and Trisha, so we don’t want to say a whole lot. We are in week two fundraising, fundraising. 

 

0:00:58 – Brian

I got a new Lincoln book. Uh-huh, why did your facial expression change? 

 

0:01:04 – Kayla

Is anybody surprised by that? I just wanted to share that. 

 

0:01:07 – Brian

There are people out there who are very excited about that. 

 

0:01:11 – Kayla

Okay, I’ve had lots of coffee over the last few days, so I’m trying not to talk super fast because I’m highly caffeinated and kind of my ears are buzzing a little bit. 

 

0:01:26 – Brian

When we first got married, for the first maybe five or ten years of our marriage. Like if you ate chocolate, I’m having really trouble stuttering. If you ate chocolate, after like two or three, you’d be up till like midnight. 

 

0:01:38 – Kayla

Oh yeah, I was party animal, yeah, so those days are behind you Not anymore. I can’t do coffee after like 2 pm, so yeah, but anyway, we will get back to our life updates, but, as we said, today’s focus. We hope that you enjoy part two of our conversation with Adam and Trisha. 

 

0:01:59 – Brian

I want to ask Trisha this how have you seen the grace of God in the last 13 years with all these diagnoses? 

 

0:02:08 – Trisha

You know, I think one thing that we learned early on I think even in our college years, was that we were encouraged just to make a works of God when you see God working. Just as the Israelites built the altars and the stones to remember what God had done, we’re called to remember what God has done for us. So actually even just last night we were talking with our kids and just remembering all the things that God has done in the past. So when things seem hard and there’s like I don’t know how this is going to turn out, we remember and we think back, and so there were just a lot of things. There was a reminder last night that one of the kiddos was reminding things that we didn’t even remember. So there was an era of our life just after a really hard surgery and someone would leave a gift card in our mailbox every Sunday night for a while. 

 

And we would just get a text and they would say hey, go check your mailbox. 

 

0:03:03 – Adam

We didn’t know who it was from, like a third party would say, hey, go check your mailbox. 

 

0:03:05 – Trisha

We didn’t know who it was from. We didn’t like a third party would say, hey, go check your mailbox, something’s in there. So that was something that we made sure as a family, just remembering. Okay, like this was God provided again and he has been faithful. One time we came home and someone actually was right before Christmas. 

 

0:03:20 – Adam

That was amazing. 

 

0:03:21 – Trisha

And someone had decorated our yard like with decorations. 

 

0:03:26 – Adam

For me that wasn’t a big deal, but for the kids like that’s one of the ones they remember Like hey, mom, do you remember that? 

 

0:03:32 – Trisha

time, Like his Adam, had always done decorations and that Christmas that wasn’t going to happen. And so they came home and they’re like mom, there’s like the Christmas decoration. 

 

0:03:40 – Adam

It looked better than they said. It’s like this is the best Christmas lights we’ve ever had. 

 

0:03:44 – Trisha

Yeah, it might have been better than ours. Yeah, we couldn’t even compete, it’s true. 

 

0:03:49 – Adam

So things like that and then you turn the corner and you pull in and like that moment for your kids. You know, when you know that you are completely helpless to make that happen and it’s not a need. 

 

0:04:00 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:04:00 – Adam

But it’s something that reached their hearts. 

 

0:04:02 – Trisha

But it’s something that reached their hearts. We call that tiny mercies. 

 

0:04:04 – Adam

Yeah, for sure, just to see the amount of love that that showed to them. Not everything’s monetary. 

 

0:04:10 – Trisha

Yeah, and that’s what one of the things they said specifically. They’re like mom, it’s not always Now granted, the financial has been helpful in times, but it’s also been just key thing for our family is doxology, remembering and thinking like, okay, this is hard, but God’s been faithful in the past and he will give us grace for whatever the future is. So, yeah, I think those are the moments and I think that’s helped us to then keep our focus on Christ and not on our situation for sure. 

 

0:04:40 – Brian

What Ms. Kayla just said. We call this tiny mercies and we have faced stuff, but it’s nothing like what you faced, Adam. But I have a folder on my iPhone in the Notes app and it’s called Tiny Mercies Because I tend to look at all the bad stuff that’s happening. In those days I’m just stressed out with all the bad stuff. I will force myself to look at other places and see what God’s doing and I will start writing those things down to remind me that he’s still active, he’s still moving, he’s still doing good things. It may not just be in this one area where I’m struggling right now, but he’s doing all this other stuff over here, so that sounds like that, yeah for sure. 

 

0:05:22 – Trisha

Spiritual amnesia right, we forget, we’re so forgetful. 

 

0:05:32 – Adam

And so then we have to direct our minds to think on truth. Like we had one former student of mine who graduated when I taught high school and it had been years, and like she contacted us and it was right before Christmas after a major surgery, and she’s like, hey, can I come get your kids Christmas presents and wrap them all for you and bring them back? And I don’t. That was just like a huge. 

 

0:05:49 – Trisha

And, for the record, I hate Chris. I mean I sound like a Scrooge, but that’s one of the things. I do not enjoy wrapping presents? 

 

0:05:56 – Adam

but regardless, I like a lot of other things. 

 

0:05:58 – Trisha

It was still just like this but it was a huge help for me. Like one thing I could take off my plate. 

 

0:06:03 – Adam

And yeah, it was just like a very simple, like super practical. I mean it probably took her several hours to, you know, come pick everything up and then get wrapping paper and wrap them and then bring them all back. But it was just one of those little things that you’re like, I really saw God in that moment and it was one of those things like we will, we’ll never forget. And our kids certainly won’t either, just because the amount of love that showed God shows up in really neat ways. You just never expect. 

 

0:06:31 – Kayla

From a practical standpoint, have either or both of you had to get comfortable with letting other people do things for you? 

 

0:06:40 – Trisha

I think I know the answer to this. It’s funny we did talk about this last night. I am probably not as good as I probably should be about it. There are there’s definitely people that are close and dear that I know and I trust them and I’ll say, yeah, like that would be huge, probably could get better. I think that’s one of the things maybe I don’t do as well. 

 

0:07:01 – Adam

Yeah yeah, I think that it’s a tough thing. I think she’d say we’ve gotten better at it, but I’m still not. I mean, I still fight people helping me. But she’ll tell you, like when we were first married, like I’ve changed a lot, like I have changed so much. I was the person that if she wants something done, I’ll get it done, but I’ll run over everybody in the process of getting it done. 

 

And so me basically Okay, I wasn’t going to say I was Brian.

 

You said you were. You said it Okay, but I would like I mean I would really hurt people in the process just cause I was like this is the way it is, like we’re going to get it done. And through the years, like God’s just kind of tore that from me and helping me see people like just cause people like just because I have a physical name doesn’t mean I’m special, like I could be sitting next to someone who is perfectly healthy but is going through something mentally or emotionally or relationally that is just as painful in different ways. And so trying to understand people better and relate to them has really been a long process. And so I think like that drive is still in me to like I’m just going to get it done, and so I think like that drive is still in me to like I’m just going to get it done, and so I still think I’m probably not very good at accepting help. Brian makes me accept help. Sometimes he’s like, hey, David’s going to help you do this. 

 

0:08:16 – Brian

Okay. 

 

0:08:17 – Adam

All right yeah. 

 

0:08:18 – Brian

How have you seen God work in your life, Adam? 

 

0:08:21 – Adam

A whole myriad of ways I am very different than I was. We joke sometimes not in the pushing people over, but we have kind of changed personalities. 

 

0:08:29 – Trisha

For sure. Yeah, I’m definitely more of like, okay, let’s get it done, move to the next thing agenda and I’m more of the laid back. 

 

0:08:40 – Adam

Still want to get stuff done but like let’s take a nap. I take naps at 10. You better-. 

 

0:08:43 – Brian

Well, here we go. 

 

0:08:44 – Adam

Aggravate. Three o’clock no, and then 4.30 just to be safe 4.30 just to be safe. 

 

0:08:51 – Kayla

And. 

 

0:08:51 – Adam

I schedule. 

 

0:08:53 – Trisha

Meetings with Brian and you work in between right. 

 

0:08:55 – Adam

Depending on how my day with Brian goes. Crisis nap, yeah, that’s what my. If you text me and I’m having a crisis nap, it’s because something went awry with Brian. 

 

0:09:05 – Kayla

I’m going to have to start weaving in crisis nap. 

 

0:09:08 – Adam

No we’re not. No, we are not. Thank you, Adam. 

 

0:09:12 – Kayla

Yes, absolutely. 

 

0:09:14 – Brian

So let me we’ll get to the hilarity here in a minute. Back to this. How have you seen God’s grace in your life? Because you’ve seen a lot of pain. 

 

0:09:24 – Adam

Really, I would just say, through his word really is how God has really changed me, and I’ve shared with you some of it before. There’s a couple of passages that really stick out in my mind that I’ve just run to over and over again. Years ago I was at Lifeway and I was there for something else, but I’m like I’m always the clearance rack shopper, so like if there’s a clearance rack. 

 

I don’t care what store I’m at, I’m going to go see it. Thank you, Kayla Appreciate that, and Brian at me like I’m crazy. But it’s okay, We’ll talk about that later. So after my crisis but yeah. 

 

So like I was at Lifeway when they were still around and I went to the clearance rack and they had this like bookend sort of thing and it had Psalm 138 on it, which says the Lord will accomplish his purpose for me, and I bought two of them because I just liked it. I was like that is very meaningful to me. I didn’t really know at the time how meaningful it would become because things just progressively got worse, but it’s still at our house and it’s still up after, oh goodness, 15 plus years probably. And that is just one verse that the Lord has really used in my life, because I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten a new diagnosis or felt like I couldn’t accomplish the things I was given to do, or people meaning well have said things that have hurt, or people meaning well, they have good intentions and just say something and you’re like people go stupid. 

 

Yeah, but they have good intentions, they just don’t know how to respond to the situation. 

 

0:10:56 – Brian

I think a lot of higher opinion of people than I do. 

 

0:10:58 – Adam

but go ahead, I just think people in general like when they enter hard situations, just if they’ve never been there. They don’t know what to say or do and so they say something and it just doesn’t always come out right. But all these different situations I’ve felt that many times like I am useless now, like my goals in life, the things I studied to become what I was working on, what I was pursuing, like we said, like we’re on plan I don’t know whatever. Now, if there was more than 26 letters in the alphabet, we’d be there. 

 

And yet I’ve come back to this verse and said no, like God said he’s going to accomplish his purpose for me, what he designed before, what he. You know, he planned out all of my days Psalm 139, 13, 14,. Like when he planned all that out, this was all part of his plan. Like this was never a mistake that happened that somehow God was blindsided by this and now my life is a mess. No, this was all part of what he sought to do, and so just finding that hope in scripture that God’s not done with me. I can remember driving down this road right here when I was in engineering, and the white truck which we affectionately called reepa. Cheap after uh C.S. Lewis cs Narnia series. 

 

My kids helped me name it. I can’t believe that came up on this podcast I’m so proud right now I was driving down the road and I was literally in tears because I was like I just don’t know if I’m useful anymore. Like I’ve got so much going on with my health and my body. Like, can I work, Can I accomplish things? Can I? 

 

be, helpful to the world in general, like and you know the song came on that like God’s not done with you yet, which is an echo of the same verse Like he’s going to accomplish his purpose for me and that gave me huge hope during that time and I just remember, like, right on this road out here is having that experience. 

 

So that’s one verse that’s been a huge encouragement to me. The other one that really happened this last year was John nine, where Christ heals the man that was born blind. And it kind of seems like a weird passage to go to because, like oh, christ healed the man that was born blind. And it kind of seems like a weird passage to go to because, like oh, christ healed the man that was born blind. He says well, you were born for the purpose of me healing you. Like, you know, like God’s purpose is being accomplished, you’re healed. 

 

Well, I had to wrestle with that a lot because I was like, well, he was born blind so that he could be healed and God’s glory was seen in that and seen in him. But I was born healthy, seemingly, although my main disease is the actual DNA defect. It just didn’t manifest itself till later. And yet now I’m sick, like now I’m in a state of unhealth constantly, but yet I’m not healed. And this guy was healed. So, like, how does that play out? Because God’s glory was seen in the healing. But I had to step back and, just you know, look at scripture, look at life and realize like the normative in life is not miracles. We love miracles and we love to see them happen, and God can use all sorts of means to make those happen, but we wouldn’t call them miracles if it was normal. 

 

0:14:07 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:14:07 – Adam

Right, like we are amazed at seeing miracles because they are abnormal. And there’s a reason that there’s a hospital in every city. It’s because pain and hurt are normative, like that is the normal. So recognizing that like, okay, you know, healing may never come in this world in this world, yeah, yeah, it may never be part of my experience here yeah. 

 

And I need to stop simply chasing after freedom from pain because that’s where I was for a long time. I just want to be free from this, whether that’s through doctor’s care or whatever. Like I just don’t want this anymore To recognizing okay, I live in a broken world and I should expect brokenness. Like that should be part of how I live is expecting things to be broken in a broken world. And because I can stop chasing freedom from that, I can find freedom and seeing eternity as a hope and a healing that we will have one day and I can look forward to that time. And that was a huge perspective change for me as I wrestled through John 9. So we’ve joked a lot because people will come up and say I’m praying for you and I love that right. 

 

0:15:25 – Trisha

Obviously, we love people praying for us. 

 

0:15:30 – Adam

We’ve had some. It hasn’t been recently at all, but we’ve had some people in the past that would come up every week and they’d be like are you healed? 

 

0:15:36 – Trisha

Is it all better? Are you all better now? 

 

0:15:40 – Adam

And you’re like well, it’s a DNA defect. So unless God changed my DNA, I’m still the same way, and God certainly has the power to change my DNA. Like it’s not beyond him in the least. I mean, Paul had a thorn in his side and he sought the Lord three times for it to be removed, and then it sounds like he stopped and he trusted the Lord with what he was given. So when these people would come, we’d kind of like be like no, we’re not healed yet, you know, but just pray instead rather than pray for. 

 

If you want to pray for healing, keep praying for it. I don’t have a problem with you praying for it. But what I need you to pray for because what’s normative is brokenness I need you to pray that I would live out, live well, what I’ve been given, because that’s a whole lot harder. Like if I was healed, it’d be easy for me just to go back to rely on myself. It would be so easy because that’s how I lived and I would probably describe the early part of our marriage really was just self-reliant, and I hope that that’s changed. And if I was to be healed, I think I would just go back to revert back to that and having problems forces me to rely on someone other than myself because I can’t fix them, and God’s there for that, obviously. 

 

0:16:51 – Brian

I want to ask you both a question, and then I want to say a few things, and Miss Kayla may want to say a few things To the person. Who. To say a few things? To the person who’s listening, to the couple out there who’s listening? And they’ve been given a horrible diagnosis and life will never be the same. I’ll start with Trisha Ladies. First, what would you say to them, as the spouse of somebody who’s been walking this road? 

 

0:17:14 – Kayla

You stole my question. 

 

0:17:17 – Trisha

But I’ll let you. 

 

0:17:18 – Brian

I appreciate that, darling. 

 

0:17:25 – Trisha

Yeah, I think one thing I have found more recently that we’ve discussed is just making sure that you take time to grieve. I think that’s a vital thing, that maybe we’re not comfortable with those feelings and having someone to talk to and not internalize it by yourself, but discussing those, working through those issues, taking time to not just be like, okay, this is great, no, like taking time to process, is something that our society struggles to process well. And then the second thing is, I think, just understanding that God is still in charge, like he is still in control, and he has a plan, and it’s not necessarily our plan. I think each time we’ve gone through seasons, the Lord has definitely given passages of scripture that I cling to, and right now even I think it applies to that question is Romans 8 in verse 26. It specifically talks about that. 

 

The spirit also joins to help us in our weakness because we do not know what to pray for, as we should. But the spirit himself intercedes for us with unspoken groanings, and I’m just thankful that when we don’t have the answers and we may not even know what to pray, that the spirit is with us and he is enough and that kind of helps them realize, okay, I can’t even go to the Lord with prayer because I don’t even have the words that disappointment and that loss can also be a comfort of like, okay, I don’t have to have the words and the spirit is enough. So, yeah, I think those are the things that have been that passage, and just meditating on that and seeing the power of Christ through that has been such an encouragement. 

 

0:18:57 – Adam

Mr. Read. Well, I think the first thing Trisha said is they’re all great. The one first thing she said it’s just taking time to grieve over things. I don’t think our society is good at that. I don’t think we as Christians have a good theology of pain in general and that’s one thing that there’s several good books out there. There’s just the idea of living in pain or having like some reason. We think that as believers, life shouldn’t be hard or there’s just not a box for ongoing pain, like. There’s this idea of like there’s always you’re in the valley, but there’s going to be a mountain top. 

 

0:19:33 – Trisha

It’s going to get better. Life is going to get better. 

 

0:19:35 – Adam

It’s going to get better and it’s just not always that way, Like there are some people who are in valleys and they’re always going to be in a valley situation and as believers it’s just in our current society we don’t have a big box for that and I think so that’s just one thing to recognize as a spouse. 

 

My wife has done great with this. But I think just taking the time to understand what your spouse is going through If I list out my diagnosed medical conditions single space, 12 point font, like it’s over a page long, so like there’s all sorts of stuff going on and taking time to understand what those things do to affect you, like how they affect your daily life, is super important. And she’s done well at just trying to learn what it is and not just being like oh yeah, you got diagnosed with whatever and just kind of having a half knowledge of it where it doesn’t show the level of care and concern that you would if you actually understood what someone was going through. That’s just a really practical thing to do is just take the time to understand so that you can relate and help them the best you can. 

 

0:20:45 – Trisha

And I think the one thing I would add, I think one thing we have found and we have met with people and just understanding that suffering could be physical, it could be mental, it could be even just hard family situations, and so I think that there is a lot of suffering and people struggle maybe even to communicate or tell, because they think that they have to have it all together, and so one thing we’ve tried to encourage is just that brokenness is a part of the world and we need to give people space for that. 

 

0:21:17 – Adam

Yeah, I think if we were all just in general and myself included here but if we were all just in general, more open about the brokenness we have, there’d be a whole lot more uh balm of Christ to go around and be, soothing, as opposed to just trying to keep it inside and keep that veneer of everything’s okay, how are you? 

 

I’m fine, you know, yeah, going on. There’s just a lot. There’s hurt everywhere you look and just trying to be open about that. It’s tough, it’s not an easy thing, but trying to push against that. 

 

0:21:50 – Brian

So I just want to say this Trisha, thank you for allowing him to be my friend, and I mean that he has made my life richer and better because he’s in it. So thank you, Trisha, for that. And, Adam, I want to thank you for serving the ministry and for being an amazing friend to me. I’ll just tell you I don’t enter a room unless Adam usually tells me why I’m going into the room. That’s one of his, that’s what he does for me, and every day it’s like B, you have this and there’s where you’ll be and this is what you’ll be doing, that kind of stuff. So thank you, and let me say this too you know, as a, a leader, I have to make hard decisions and there’s a lot of stress. This guy will call me up, tell me the dumbest joke and then just hang up and I get to hear them every day and they are fantastic. 

 

I mean he’ll just call up, he’ll just call up and say these dumb things and just hang up. 

 

0:22:51 – Kayla

Won’t even say bye, just click so he can pretend they’re like driving him crazy. But then I get a phone call and I get the joke. 

 

0:22:59 – Adam

I won’t have to take as many crisis naps now. And then there’s that our kids might appreciate that you hear and maybe you give a better feedback because I don’t think that he gets the great, you know our teenage daughters don’t laugh as much at the dumb jokes, so you might relieve some of that from them. You’re taking the pressure off. 

 

0:23:17 – Brian

There you go. I want to say this finally to both of you you help us put our pain into a proper perspective. You help us put what we’re going through into a proper perspective. And, Trisha, you said something pretty profound. You said that if he’s the God of eternity, then he’s the God of today. If he can handle eternity, he can handle this, and there’s things that we’re walking through right now, that kind of stuff, and that’s helped me because, well, if he can handle my eternity, he can handle this. Now, I’d rather it be pain free, for sure, right, yeah, you know what I’m saying. I’d like to have bubble gum and Willy Wonka and candy and everything else. Ice cream, ice cream, ice cream. That would be nice Peanuts. Here we go. He’s trying to kill me. 

 

0:24:00 – Kayla

This is what he does to me. 

 

0:24:02 – Brian

So thank you for that reminder that he is big enough to handle our stuff. And, Adam Read, I’ll tell you this publicly and I have told you this privately I’m a better man because you’re in my life and as long as I have a job, you have a job and I love you and I’m thankful for you. 

 

0:24:25 – Adam

Very kind. I love you both and just privileged to be your friends and to know you guys, and you are a blessing to me. 

 

0:24:30 – Trisha

Yeah, and thank you for giving us a chance to share our story. It’s a privilege as well. 

 

0:24:36 – Adam

I found this one truth super encouraging. It’s just a quote by C.S. Lewis, but as we think about the pain we have here and placing our hope somewhere else than in relief from stuff, now, C.S. Lewis said if we find within ourselves a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world, and that’s just been a huge help to me in perspective. 

 

0:25:02 – Kayla

That exact quote was shared at our women’s retreat this last weekend. So I just want you both to know that when you walk into a space, you may not feel it, but Jesus is all over you and I see it in you, I see it in your kids. Yes, I thank you for taking time today to share him, because that’s what you did. You could have sat here for the last however many minutes and lamented all the 43.22. Here you go. 

 

0:25:41 – Adam

Oh, it’s nap time. 

 

0:25:42 – Kayla

I was going to say he’s going to need two crisis naps this afternoon, but I just want you to know that I believe with everything in me that God is going to use your suffering to change someone else, because they’re going to be reminded that he is the God of all of it, and so thank you. I know it’s hard to talk about suffering, but you almost made it sound joyful, which that’s what God wants us to do sometimes, so thank you, thank you both. 

 

I love how they have made a works of God list. You call that what? 

 

0:26:21 – Brian

Tiny mercies I keep in my Apple notes folder. On my phone I keep a folder called tiny mercies. 

 

0:26:28 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:26:29 – Brian

And, as I said during the podcast, it’s whenever things get very stressful I need to be mindful to look at God at work in other areas, not just the one that I’m all stressed about, because that’ll help my heart to know okay, he’s still there, he’s still working, he’s still God. 

 

0:26:44 – Kayla

Yes, there was something else. Very sweet was listening to them share about different people who, not just for them but for their kids, who have been the hands and feet of Christ for them. They’ve done things for them that have carried them from, like decorating for Christmas, giving them gift cards, wrapping presents. I mean, that’s a love language of its own, seriously. 

 

0:27:14 – Brian

I’d haul them to the mall. I’d put people there wrapping. 

 

0:27:17 – Kayla

Maybe those of us who aren’t suffering can seek God as to how we can provide mercy to those in the throes of it. That’s something I’ve been chewing on since we sat with them. 

 

0:27:32 – Brian

Trisha mentioned a spiritual principle that I love the way she put it. She said we all get spiritual amnesia In other words we forget what God has already done for us yeah. We forget that, and so it’s good to look back and see what God has done, and I want to encourage each of us to do that. That’s just a mental reminder. Look back and see what God has done, and I want to encourage each of us to do that. That’s just a mental reminder. Look back and see what. 

 

0:27:54 – Kayla

God has done, because his faithfulness is what’s going to remind you that he will carry you through the next thing. There was a statement. Adam said I’ve changed a lot, and he said if I was healed and when he talked about the blind man, I think it was in John 9 he referenced it would be easy for me to go back to who I was. And so I realized that this is God sanctifying me to make me more like him. What an amazing place to land when you’re walking around, sometimes limping around with three different illnesses, and yet you realize that this is so that you can be made more like Christ. 

 

0:28:38 – Brian

That’s one thing about Adam he pushes me. He doesn’t do it overtly, but just by his quiet pursuit. I want to be more like Jesus because of Adam. 

 

0:28:50 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:28:51 – Brian

Because I got to be honest with you. He lives out that passage of John 9. I’d be angry about it. I know my heart. I’d be bitter. Adam said this quote I need to stop chasing freedom from pain. True freedom is the hope and healing that will come one day. That’s truly having a heavenward look, that’s truly looking toward heaven. And he just read a book by Paul Tripp that’s called Forever and he was telling me how that’s really helped him look toward heaven and believe it and to put that in his heart. 

 

0:29:33 – Kayla

He shared with us how the word of God steadies him reading Scripture and soaking that in, and that’s so true. I remember we went through a very challenging season early in our marriage and it was a situation completely out of our control. But someone advised me to read the Psalms and I thought, are you crazy? But I committed to read one Psalm a day. I kept my word to that person and it was transformational how my heart was at the end of that versus where I was sitting going into that situation. 

 

0:30:17 – Brian

He says pray that I will live well with what I’ve been given. Again, there’s almost. It even says this to view it as a gift. 

 

0:30:28 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:30:28 – Brian

To view it and it is from the Lord. Okay, it is from the Lord. Okay, it is from the Lord. But there’s also this thing that we call dark providence or something like that. I can’t remember the exact theological term.

 

0:30:39 – Kayla

Is it bitter providence? 

 

0:30:40 – Brian

Bitter, bitter providence, yeah, that’s what it’s called that, like what God brings into our lives can sometimes make us bitter, and I think that’s where I would be, because one of my biggest fears is to be a burden to you. It’s one of my biggest fears, and so my fear is is God going to bring something like that in my life and now it’s going to unjustly impact those in my life? 

 

0:31:05 – Kayla

I want to end with these reminders from both of them, but most of this came from Trisha. Reminders from both of them, but most of this came from Trisha. Allow yourself to grieve the life you wanted. I loved that. Just it’s okay to not be okay with what’s going on and it’s okay to mourn that yes, and even though you’re accepting where you are, it doesn’t take anything away from what you wish. 

 

0:31:28 – Brian

But neither of them are angry. 

 

0:31:30 – Kayla

No, Remember that God is still in control. Be willing to learn about the other person’s condition. I loved this that Trisha has taken the time to actually research Adam’s conditions so that she can find ways to show care, ask the right questions when they go to the doctor, and to show empathy. So those are just some good reminders to all of us. If we find ourselves in a situation where someone is really suffering and it is an illness or a struggle that we don’t understand, allow them to walk through some of these steps and then be willing to do some of them ourselves. 

 

0:32:13 – Brian

We want to give you a coffee mug and some stickers. And, if I could be so bold, I just want to ask you a question, and this is this week’s trivia question have you been encouraged by Adam and Trisha? That’s all I want to ask, and if you say yes, we’ll send you a coffee mug and a pack of stickers, because they have been encouraging to us. Yeah, so understand that. To do that, you go to our website. 

 

0:32:42 – Kayla

Go find our trivia button. Sorry, I totally zoned out there for a second. Click the trivia button at peasandcarrotspodcast.com website and simply answer this question. Were you encouraged. Were you encouraged I also the reason I zoned out. I kind of want to take it a step further. If someone wants to be really brave, share with us a time that you saw a tiny mercy from. 

 

0:33:08 – Brian

God, that’s good, that’s even better. Let’s do that. 

 

0:33:10 – Kayla

So, yes, please, please, share with us if you were encouraged, and we will pass that on to Adam and Trisha, but we would also love to hear your stories of tiny mercies that God has shown in your life. 

 

0:33:23 – Brian

So simply go to our website peasandcarrotspodcast.com, look for the trivia question and simply tell us when was a time that you saw a tiny mercy from God. So there you go, we’ll send you a coffee mug and a pack of stickers. Hey, you can search the Peas and Carrots podcast wherever you get your podcast. 

 

0:33:42 – Kayla

Or visit our website peasandcarrotspodcast.com. When you do, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast. You can also follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast. 

 

0:33:53 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Growing through the challenges we face and finding hope along the way. That’s the Jesus Fix It Podcast with Jess. Check out jesusfixit.com or search Jesus Fix It wherever you listen to podcasts.

 

 

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Season 3, Episode 13: Steadfast in Suffering

Can We Talk?
Steadfast in Suffering - Episode Description
Every so often, life throws at us challenges that test our resilience and compel us to find strength we never knew we had. That’s the essence of the remarkable conversation I had with my executive assistant, Adam Read, and his wife Trisha, who joined me to share their journey through Adam’s unexpected medical issues and the profound impact on their marriage and perspective on life. Their candid account, ripe with trials and an unwavering bond, reveals how they’ve managed to navigate the rough waters with grace and a faith that has been their anchor. Our discussion doesn’t just stop at their story—it extends to the influence such experiences have on the entire family, shaping aspirations and strengthening character, especially in their children.
We then change gears slightly to embrace our Peas and Carrots Podcast Trivia Giveaway, an engaging and heartening segment designed to connect our community through shared words of comfort. I encourage our listeners to participate by sharing Bible verses that resonate during trying times, with some delightful prizes up for grabs. The power of scripture and collective wisdom stands at the core of this chapter, a testament to the solace we find in unity and shared experience. So grab a cozy spot, and join us on this episode that’s not just about storytelling, but also about building a community that uplifts and supports one another through every twist and turn life may present.
Steadfast in Suffering - Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 

 

0:00:11 – Kayla

Welcome to the Peas and Carrots Podcast. I’m Brian and I’m Kayla. Good to have you along this week, and this is going to be a very special part one of two podcasts that we had the privilege of sitting down with your executive assistant, Adam Read, and his wife Trisha, and so we’ll get to that in a minute, but let’s start here. What’s up in the Cabbage Patch? 

 

0:00:37 – Brian

We’re very busy right now. 

 

0:00:39 – Kayla

Yes, we are. 

 

0:00:40 – Brian

We’re in the middle of our fundraising season. Well, actually it just began. It’s like a week old, I guess. 

 

0:00:46 – Kayla

Yeah, we will have three weeks to go as of the time this drops, so yeah lots of caffeine. 

 

0:00:52 – Brian

We’re in the thick of it seeing God move. Very little sleep.

 

0:00:56 – Kayla

So yeah, it’s good and in the midst of all this, for those of you who know me or have followed us for a while in this crazy adventure, I love sweets, but I’ve been trying really, really hard to choose fresh food and not junk, and man, this is hard. So, yeah, even chocolate, which we took like a three-year hiatus from each other. 

 

0:01:29 – Brian

We broke up for a while because of COVID. Are y’all back on speaking terms? 

 

0:01:33 – Kayla

Certain kinds of chocolate, yeah. 

 

0:01:36 – Brian

But I don’t crave it like I not really, not like I used to. You’re eating this hue chocolate. 

 

0:01:43 – Kayla

It’s pretty good, it’s all natural, it doesn’t have a lot of additives and it’s dark chocolate. I can only do dark chocolate now. But yeah, so there’s this meme, all of that, to say this it’s a dog and he’s sitting in front of a wall with a hole in it and it says I miss carbs, I ate a wall. So I feel like that’s who I am right now. 

 

0:02:09 – Brian

Yes, preach sister. So Sunday morning we were leaving for church and let me just say this I love pins and Adam Read. 

 

0:02:20 – Kayla

You have a little bit of a fetish over pins. 

 

0:02:23 – Brian

Adam Read, who you will hear from in a few moments. He’s my executive assistant. He also is one of my very best friends in the world. For Christmas he got me a Darth Vader pen and I loved it. I mean it writes well. I mean I love a good pen. So I went and ordered I found out where they came from Went and got the Kylo Ren pen, the R2-D2 pen and an extra Darth Vader one. Well, Sunday morning I just put the Kylo Ren pen in my Bible. 

 

0:02:54 – Kayla

And I am sitting in our women’s Sunday school class. 

 

0:02:57 – Brian

So I get to church, I drop you off at the door, we get to church and I go to the back seat to get my Bible out to walk in for Sunday school. I don’t see the pen. Well, I look all over that truck, I look outside the truck and I go into church and I’m walking by your Sunday school class. 

 

0:03:12 – Kayla

Stick your head in and say Kay, do you have my Kylo Ren pen? Do you know where it is? 

 

0:03:18 – Brian

And five ladies’ heads, five or six ladies’ heads. They turned and looked at me and our director of ministries Her name is Christy Schrader she says I think that’s fantastic that you have a Kylo Ren pen and she says, would you like a normal pen? I said no, it’s not a Kylo Ren pen, but good news. 

 

0:03:37 – Kayla

We found your pen in the front yard when we got home from church. 

 

0:03:43 – Brian

So, yeah, I’m pretty happy about that. So we spent some time with Adam and Trisha Read, okay, and we’re going to introduce them to you. He will tell his story and then we’re going to come back and we’re going to comment on some things that they said. We think that this is going to be a powerful, powerful time and, as promised, we are joined by Adam and Trisha Read. Thanks for joining us today, guys. 

 

0:04:14 – Adam

It’s good to be here. Thank you for having us, Brian and Kayla. 

 

0:04:18 – Brian

Let me just say this Adam Read is the director of digital media for the ministry that we serve at, positive alternative radio, and his other role, which is his cross to bear, is you are my executive assistant, yeah so I get a break from you during the day so I try and make your you know absorb some of it so that when he comes home, at night. 

 

0:04:43 – Adam

Thank you, it’s a little easier for you. 

 

0:04:44 – Brian

Hopefully, this is my life. Y’all, this is my life. You’re so blessed, Brian, so Trisha and I try to take some of this off of you during the day, okay. 

 

0:04:54 – Trish

We attempt to balance it out there. 

 

0:04:59 – Brian

So Adam and I, we are great friends, but I also need you to know that, Adam I’m talking to the audience right now, but you also have a medical condition, and if you could tell us that story. And then we want to ask Trisha how y’all have seen God work through this in your marriage. 

 

0:05:22 – Adam

Sure, yeah, I think it might be helpful to start just kind of explaining what the story is of. The condition is so a little bit of background into what my life is like, and my wife is such a support through all of it, and has been even before we were married, as things started to show up. So I started having some medical issues when I was about 16 and really didn’t know that they were related to anything. It was just kind of like, okay, that’s odd, and we just started to think that it was a one-time issue. And then, about the time I was 20, shortly after, well, a month after really, we started dating, I had my lung collapse once and I was like, okay, that was another really odd thing, it was just spontaneous, it just collapsed. 

 

0:06:06 – Kayla

For a 20-year-old yeah. 

 

0:06:07 – Adam

Yeah, I mean, it’s just your middle of college. You think you’re kind of invincible at that point, you know like you’re supposed to be at your peak of health or so, and just it kind of shuts you down. Ended up having surgery for that. Things looked like they recovered and then, a month to the day from the first time it collapsed, it collapsed again, oh my. So they ended up doing the same surgery again, but it didn’t work the second time and so they ended up doing a very invasive surgery where they went in through, they cut some ribs, went in and worked on the lung itself to actually staple off a bunch of what essentially most people would think of as like blisters across the lung. But I couldn’t collapse and during that time I was dating my wife and her and her family were in the area where the college were and she stuck with me through all of that, even got. Did you get a speeding ticket? 

 

0:06:57 – Trish

A warning. I just got a warning. 

 

0:06:59 – Adam

On the way to the hospital. She was so intent on coming to see me, Brian, I want you to know she cared. Would it have been worth a ticket? So intent on coming to see me, Brian? I want you to know she cares. Would it have been worth a ticket? 

 

0:07:06 – Brian

Well maybe it’s just. 

 

0:07:09 – Trish

Oh I like that. 

 

0:07:10 – Brian

She paused. She paused, I like that. 

 

0:07:13 – Trish

I think maybe the more important thing is I probably was late, which maybe is something. 

 

0:07:18 – Adam

Late to what. 

 

0:07:18 – Trish

To like. 

 

0:07:19 – Adam

Class. 

 

0:07:20 – Trish

To like when I was supposed to be there, oh so when you were supposed to be here. 

 

0:07:23 – Adam

Well, I would have forgiven you for that, but I might not have to struggle with that delay. So yeah, she was there through. All of that Ended up was actually kind of funny. After I had my second surgery it was a very long recovery just to be able to get up and walk around again, really because of the amount of work they did. So it was multiple months and she worked at camp that summer away from her home, just a few miles away, and I actually lived at her house with her parents and so I got to know her parents real well and they got to know me and they still somehow put up with me after all that and liked me. 

 

0:07:54 – Trish

Maybe like you better. They like me better than you. 

 

0:07:58 – Adam

I don’t think so. 

 

0:07:59 – Brian

I don’t think so. 

 

0:08:00 – Adam

But yeah, so that kind of started it and honestly we didn’t know what caused all that. But we kind of looked around a little bit but thought, okay, that’s probably over now. And then just through the years till now it’s just kind of been a constant roll of things. We had a lot of issues come up. I’ve had over a dozen surgeries now, including two brain surgeries, three lung surgeries and multiple other stuff, you know, cutting bones, connecting, reconnecting stuff that’s coming out of socket. So it took us. I think we decided we’re talking about it last night. Was it like? 

 

0:08:39 – Trish

Around 2013. 

 

0:08:40 – Adam

2013. So it took us like 13 years to finally get a diagnosis, because it was a rare disease. 

 

0:08:46 – Kayla

Oh, wow. 

 

0:08:47 – Adam

And so it’s called Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. Eds is the short term and it’s a little bit more commonly known now because there’s been some awareness projects around it and there’s various types of it. But for me it’s affected my whole body, so I live every day in pain. I can’t remember what a day without pain is like. And then God brought you into my life, and then my pain tripled. Okay, maybe not that bad. 

 

0:09:19 – Kayla

I have to interject here, though, in all seriousness and I can’t speak for Trisha again home life. You know you’re entitled to be grumpy there. No-transcript, in as much pain as you wrestle. I just need to interject that, that you are one of the kindest and most gracious and, again, I know we all have our moments. So I’m sure Trish is sitting there going. Are we talking about the same? 

 

0:09:45 – Trish

No, actually I think especially specifically like hospital situations, when things are serious, like he gets calmer, I necessarily but she’s a great advocate you get calmer. 

 

0:09:56 – Adam

She’s a huge advocate for me and I’m more like, okay, like I process it and I actually get humorous at that. 

 

0:10:04 – Trish

Like it’s really bad If I get really nervous. 

 

0:10:06 – Brian

So when you’re facing death. 

 

0:10:07 – Adam

you’re cracking jokes. If it’s that serious, I’m cracking jokes and then she knows I’m worried. 

 

0:10:13 – Trish

Okay. But then there’s an aspect where then I kind of get into like, okay, let’s get things done. 

 

0:10:19 – Adam

But she’s been a great advocate for me when I’ve not been able to speak for myself, literally about what’s going on? It’s been a huge thing to have her and her support. Like me, being who I am today is obviously our savior, is who we rely on and all of it, but it is a huge part to my wife. 

 

0:10:37 – Trish

I think we all have our moments. 

 

0:10:38 – Adam

Yeah, absolutely on in all of it, but it is a huge part to my wife. I think we all have our moments. Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. I mean I have a rib that’s constantly out of place and other ones that separate, if I move around too much, from the sternum or from the spine, so it’s like every breath is painful, like it’s just the way I live. And since then I’ve been diagnosed. Well, I have three rare diseases. So I’m just trying to add up and be a little more weird than I already am, Brian. 

 

0:11:05 – Brian

So yeah, nothing on that. What are those? 

 

0:11:07 – Adam

I’m trying to be really nice to you. It’s not working. 

 

0:11:11 – Brian

I can see it in your face. You don’t have a straight face. What are those three diseases? 

 

0:11:14 – Adam

So there’s of course the EDS, and then I have autoimmune autonomic ganglionopathy. 

 

0:11:22 – Kayla

Which is that sounds terrible? 

 

0:11:22 – Adam

Yeah, your body is attacking. 

 

0:11:23 – Kayla

Itself right. 

 

0:11:24 – Adam

Yourself and eventually affects the small nerve fiber system. So it creates neuropathy in my heart, in my blood vessels, like how your body communicates to those to make them contract and regulate blood pressure or to like keep the blood flow flowing correctly throughout the whole body doesn’t work properly and that’s why I have the monthly infusions that I have. They don’t do anything for the pain or whatever. It’s just to help the body not attack itself as much, so it can kind of attack the other things that I get, and then the other ones are bleeding disorder. That’s rare. 

 

0:11:55 – Brian

Yeah, let me go back to what Kayla said. I’ve never heard you grumble. 

 

0:12:01 – Kayla

I’ve never heard you complain. 

 

0:12:02 – Brian

I’d be a walking complaint department. I just want to say that, and so part of the reason why we wanted to invite you two on the podcast is because you’re both very humble. You lean into Christ more than I’ve ever seen. I mean, I don’t understand that. So here’s what I want to ask you to how do you do that? 

 

0:12:26 – Adam

Well, first of all I would say I don’t feel like I’m those things. I feel like I have a long way to go in any of those areas. I think when you have nowhere else to turn, you’re going to turn to various things. You have various options anyway to try and escape when you’re in pain. One is to just dull it by looking for hope, other places, right, and that never lasts, and I think there’s been times that I’ve done that, you know, like tried to find relief and other things that could distract from the pain. 

 

I think the other thing is trying to put your hope in things that the world holds on to and you realize when you’re in a condition like mine, that is only going to get worse over time. Those things aren’t going to last either. So it kind of gives you a different perspective on life in some ways. The things that I would normally have held on to in life the Lord has, because of his graciousness and allowing me to even have the stuff that I have and I say that in a kind of a weird way because that sounds odd, but it’s true he’s pulled some of the stuff that I would have naturally held on to away from me and that’s been not fun. That’s been a whole lot of hard days, wouldn’t you say, babe? 

 

0:13:36 – Trish

Yeah, I think one of the things we talked about with the kids last night we were asking them and they said, like we didn’t really have a choice, like it wasn’t like we picked this and so from that, then knowing that all good things, but also all things, are from our heavenly father. So just seeing that as like okay, it’s not us choosing one thing or the other, just seeing that as like okay, it’s not us choosing one thing or the other, it’s that we’ve been given this and attempting to steward it well. 

 

0:14:00 – Brian

The Lord’s given us this and we’re attempting to steward it. Well, yeah, how do you look at your husband, who you know is in pain, and say, okay, god, you’ve given this to us. Help me see this as something good and to steward it, because I find that kind of faith amazing. 

 

0:14:19 – Trish

I think it’s part of what we have like, just in our faith, trusting in Christ, and if we trust him right for eternity, right, so if I’m trusting him for eternity, then I’m also trusting him for today. So if he’s big enough for our eternity, then he’s enough for what he has given today. And I think, just remembering like the world is broken right, like all of us live in a broken world, so our broken is every day, each of us. So when we say like well, well, this situation, like he’s not grumpy or whatever, but I also see it as like, okay, we have a choice today. 

 

0:14:55 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:14:55 – Trish

Just like what I tell my kids every day Okay, you have a choice, what are you going to choose? And so, if I’m living for myself, yeah, this isn’t fair, I don’t want to do this, and we have those. We have to fight that. It’s not that it’s not a battle, but it’s making sure our perspective is correct of like. I don’t deserve easy. That’s not what Christ has called us to.

 

0:15:15 – Adam

Yeah, and I think we’ve kind of come back many times to like, if I understand scripture correctly, what I deserve is death and separation from God forever in hell. That’s what I deserve, and so anything less than that is his grace. And that still doesn’t sound fun and cheery sometimes. Like we want, like we want always, like well the gospel, everything will be great. Well, the gospel doesn’t say that life on this earth is going to be all roses and happiness. And you know, rainbow, like it’s going to be hard, like it makes it clear that life on this earth is still going to be hard. And, as a believer, there’ll be difficult things. And I think some of the hardest things we had to wrestle with is like the death of what you thought were dreams about what life would be like, like thinking like life’s going to be good. 

 

0:15:59 – Brian

You got stuck with me. 

 

0:16:01 – Adam

Yeah, that On an everyday, Brian, 3 am to 5 am on my knees, but no, it’s like life is not what we expected. It. It’s just so different. 

 

0:16:13 – Trish

I think we say this is plan what. 

 

0:16:19 – Adam

Yeah, we’re like, are we through the alphabet? And starting over again on what we thought? Because then you get a new diagnosis and you’re like, okay, well, then this changes. And struggling with you know, like okay, my kid wants me to go play ball with them and not able to do that right now. Or it’s just those little life moments that you think about and you’re like, okay, like I don’t want my kids to have to deal with this issue, like I’d rather them just have a normal dad. 

 

And I struggled with that for quite some time. But I mean, this is a very simple truth. I don’t know why it took me so long to realize it and why it’s taken me so long to go. Like I have to remind myself of it is that God chose to put them in this family and he has promised to give me grace for whatever he puts in my path. He has chosen to put them here and he has promised to give them grace for what he puts in their path, and part of that is the family he’s placed them into, and so we’ve seen God work in ways in their lives through it too, even though it’s not always been easy. 

 

0:17:12 – Brian

How do the kids respond to this? 

 

0:17:14 – Trish

Before we started recording, you were telling us a story about yeah, so we have, you know, just as any like, they’re all completely different. So we have one that is absolutely fascinated with the medical field and she wants to conquer, like, she wants to figure out and solve problems. So I think some of that is because of what she has seen, and she loves to see when IVs are put in and all the details she would put it in herself if we’d let her.

 

And we have one that is incredibly just. She has a huge heart and hates to see anyone suffer, and so her processing looks differently. So, in those aspects of giving them space, first of all, to be able to discuss how they feel, what they think, but also encouraging like, hey, it’s okay to struggle, yeah, giving openness of like, yeah, it stinks, it’s hard, and not pretending it’s not, yeah, and I think that’s one thing I’ve had to work through over the years. 

 

0:18:10 – Adam

I used to think I had to have like some sort of Pollyanna attitude toward it, like rejoice in all things, Like Like I just need to be happy about it and be like well, this is what God’s given me. This is great guys. You know like just this is super, it’s OK, and just over the years coming around, like no, it stinks. 

 

0:18:30 – Kayla

But God’s given us an array of emotions. He doesn’t expect us just to be joyful all the time. 

 

0:18:36 – Adam

Yeah, Like I can of emotions. He doesn’t expect us just to be joyful all the time. Yeah, it’s okay to be sad about things. We live in a broken world and it’s not only unnatural, it’s unhealthy. It’s unhealthy in the sense that if we’re looking for hope where it should be, which is in eternity yeah these sad things help us to see and want eternity, and forever and eternity in a healthy, better way than if we just act like everything’s okay to know Adam, you would never believe he’s lived with chronic pain for as much of his life as he has. 

 

0:19:13 – Kayla

Because I’m just keeping it real, he is not an Eeyore. He is one of the most encouraging and humorous people that we’ve ever had the chance to do life with, would you agree? 

 

0:19:25 – Brian

I agree, he razzes me and you’ve heard some of that there. And let me say this he’s one of the most cheerful people. 

 

0:19:35 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:19:35 – Brian

He’s the most cheerful person I’ve ever met, even as he carries all this. 

 

0:19:41 – Kayla

Yeah, he’s cheerful, he aggravates me, he tells me jokes, he smiles and I sit there in amazement at that, because that convicts me, because I don’t have three rare diseases and yet someone that does, can take the time and is willing to embrace the fact that your role requires a lot, that it’s very heavy, it bears a lot of responsibility, and so Adam’s great delight is in finding ways that he can come alongside you and gift you information that you might need, or a joke to dispel some tension. He’s not focused on how much he’s hurting or how difficult his day is. He is looking for ways to make someone else’s day less difficult, and he does this for like 60 team members in PAR. In very different ways, he finds moments for encouragement. 

 

0:20:43 – Brian

It’s pretty incredible. 

 

0:20:44 – Kayla

There was another powerful statement, and again we’re going to let you, the listener, sit with your own takeaways, so we’re just going to share a few of ours. It’s easy to look everywhere for relief, and I thought that was very powerful and we’re all guilty of it, but realizing that when we have nowhere else to turn, we can and should turn to Christ. 

 

0:21:08 – Brian

That moved me. 

 

0:21:09 – Kayla

So powerful. 

 

0:21:10 – Brian

That just. 

 

0:21:11 – Kayla

Because we all have our crutches. 

 

0:21:13 – Brian

It reminds me of a phrase that my friend Rock Collins once said. He says I’ve reached the bottom and it was there that I found the solid rock. Phew Adam said I can’t remember what a day without pain is like. That can’t remember what a day without pain is like. 

 

0:21:35 – Kayla

That. That’s a foreign concept to me, because I have many pain-free days. I wasn’t in college starting to deal with a debilitating illness, yeah, collapsed lung, I mean just the very thought of how many. 

 

It took them 13 years to get a diagnosis it’s unimaginable. It was sweet seeing how, in times of great stress, god gave each of them strengths and continues to. We even saw this sitting with them at lunch that day. He cracks jokes and it was interesting. I learned something about Adam that typically when he’s trying to use humor it’s because he’s deflecting something else. So I will be mindful to that moving forward. But Trisha is me. In stressful situations she becomes the take charge get answers. 

 

0:22:23 – Brian

What do I do? 

 

0:22:24 – Kayla

You freak out, and that’s OK. It’s just in the moment when there is a stressful situation. 

 

0:22:30 – Brian

I feel so manly right now. 

 

0:22:34 – Kayla

I felt this tug in my heart that God gives her the strength in those moments to be his advocate. He even called her that and it was very beautiful, and that’s how it looks sometimes. So yeah, and it was very beautiful, and that’s how it looks sometimes. 

 

0:22:47 – Brian

So yeah, I love seeing in the room to build on what you’re saying, is that her role of being an advocate and seeing how God has meshed them together. 

 

0:22:59 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:22:59 – Brian

And they complement each other. 

 

0:23:01 – Kayla

Oh, they really do. 

 

0:23:02 – Brian

Because as the stress gets higher, he gets funnier. 

 

0:23:07 – Kayla

And she gets serious. 

 

0:23:13 – Brian

And she has to ask questions. So I find it interesting how God puts our lives together. 

 

0:23:16 – Kayla

Yeah, and it was really special seeing them together and realizing how perfect they are for each other. There was one other thing that Adam said in this part and again we’re excited to share the second episode next week but he referred to stewarding it. Well, will others be drawn to Christ because of how he handles these struggles? And he and Trisha both reference this because, after 10 minutes with them, I cannot imagine a more authentic way to sum them up is that they want to steward this struggle Well that’s a foreign concept to me. 

 

0:23:57 – Brian

I got to be honest with you because I want it to get over. 

 

0:24:01 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:24:02 – Brian

You’re looking for an out, I’m looking for an out. I’m looking for relief. He’s looking to how to steward it well, how to live it well. That killed me. Trisha made a statement that if the Lord’s enough to get us to eternity, then he’s enough to get us through today. That’s going to become a little quote card for me, because there are days when I feel like he has abandoned me, that he doesn’t care, that he’s left me. But I look at them and I’m not caring near what they’re carrying. And so be of good cheer, be of hope that if he keeps his promises that Jesus came just to die for us and yet he’s going to get us to heaven, well then, certainly he can get us through the problems of today. We hope that you’ve been encouraged by today’s podcast. We know that we have been. 

 

0:24:54 – Kayla

Our hearts have been encouraged, and we want to end with something special. So for the first two people who go to our website and answer this question correctly, you will win a peas and carrots coffee mug and some cute stickers. We always refer to them correctly. You will win a peas and carrots coffee mug and some cute stickers. We always refer to them. But when you go to our website, look for the trivia button. Click that. You’ll go to the peasandcarrotspodcast.com website. Click that trivia button. Share with us a verse that sustains you in times of struggle. That’s good, and we will actually share that with Adam and Trisha. Oh so if will actually share that with Adam and Trisha, oh so if you will do that, we’re not going to ask you a cutesy trivia question this week. We want to encourage the encouragers. 

 

0:25:38 – Brian

What’s a verse that carries you through hard times? Simply go to our website peasandcarrotspodcast.com, look for the trivia button and answer that question. 

 

0:25:47 – Kayla

Share that verse with us. There you go. You can search the Peas and Carrots Podcast wherever you get your podcasts, or visit our website peasandcarrotspodcast.com. When you do, please don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast. 

 

0:25:58 – Brian

You can also follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast. 

 

0:26:03 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Life’s not perfect. That’s why God gave us friends like Melody and Candi. Check out QuirksBumpsandBruises.com, or search Quirks, Bumps, and Bruises wherever you listen to podcasts. 

 

 

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Season 3, Episode 8: Hello, Mate!

Hello, Mate! - Episode Description

Join us on this week’s Peas and Carrots Podcast as we kick things off with a light-hearted utensil tussle – are you Team Spoon or Team Knife when it comes to spreading mayonnaise? But it’s not all fun and games; we also share our personal takeaways from a month-long habit tracker. Discover the highs and lows of maintaining good habits, the quest to include more greens in our diet, and our heartfelt encounter with a newborn member of our church community. Plus, we debate the pros and cons of daylight saving time and share a few laughs over nocturnal phone screen shenanigans.

Listen in as we explore the complexities of faith in the professional realm. We open up about our own spiritual journey and how it’s shaped our approach to ministry work. The conversation takes a turn towards the profound as we discuss the necessity of grace in both ministry and relationships, focusing on the essential beliefs that unite Christians while extending a circle of grace to the varied interpretations of non-essential doctrines. And let’s not forget to touch upon the role of Old Testament laws and the true path to salvation through Jesus’s sacrifice – it’s a reminder to avoid judgment and embrace compassion.

Finally, ready your ears for a delightful linguistic jaunt as we compare the quirks of British and American English. From attempting (and failing) to nail British accents to deciphering terms like ‘trolley’ and ‘dummy’, this episode is a linguistic treat. Wrap up with us as we chuckle over classic British phrases and their American counterparts, all while paying homage to the cultural staples that make each version of English uniquely charming. So grab your headphones and a cuppa, and prepare for an episode that’s as cozy as mismatched socks on a chilly day.

Hello, Mate! - Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 

 

0:00:11 – Brian

Welcome the peas and carrots podcast. Hello, I’m Kayla and I’m Brian, and good to have you along for this week’s edition, which will be a lot of British stuff here in a little while. 

 

0:00:21 – Kayla

Well, don’t sound so excited. Well I’m, it’s gonna be fun. ‘Merica. This can be fun, I promise. Okay, all right, so I have an update. Can I have a little breaking? I need a breaking news. There we go a friend emailed the following oh this is verbatim. Okay, okay, you ready for this? 

 

0:00:43 – Brian

I’m ready. 

 

0:00:44 – Kayla

I have never in my life heard of spreading mayo with a spoon. 

 

0:00:51 – Brian

Well, your friend is not cultured. 

 

0:00:53 – Kayla

Oh. 

 

0:00:54 – Brian

Do I know who this friend is? 

 

0:00:56 – Kayla

You do. We’re not gonna give any names. That was very unkind. 

 

0:00:59 – Brian

Um well, this friend is team knife, so Okay if this is your first time ever listening to the piece, we had a debate about spreading mayonnaise with a spoon or a knife, and. I’m team spoon, I’m team knife. I’ve always been team spoon because you can put the In the jar and get a nice glob of Of not. 

 

0:01:24 – Kayla

We’re not doing this today. 

 

0:01:25 – Brian

All I’m saying is, and then spread normal people use a knife. You see, that’s a little bit. Of fencing is less spicy. 

 

0:01:34 – Kayla

It’s a little fancy. 

 

0:01:36 – Brian

Normal people. I Want to know who got what committee got together and voted that? What was normal? On how to spread mayonnaise? 

 

0:01:45 – Kayla

the knife people. 

 

0:01:49 – Brian

Being in room of serial killers. All right, we need the gun people over here and the knife people over here. That’s what we know. 

 

0:01:55 – Kayla

No no. 

 

0:01:56 – Brian

I’m just saying, I’m just saying no, that’s pretty. 

 

0:01:59 – Kayla

no, okay, okay, all right, well, all right. Praise. 

 

0:02:02 – Brian

God, you feel better now? No, not really, but I have Godzilla with me, so I’m good, okay. 

 

0:02:09 – Kayla

All right. 

 

0:02:11 – Brian

What we have learned. Okay, now we’ve been doing this whole habit tracker for the month of February. For the month of February. 

 

0:02:16 – Kayla

We have our trainer asked us to start admitting some things. For example, are we sleeping seven plus hours a night? Are we Adding protein to our meals? Are we Cleaning the fridge? 

 

0:02:35 – Brian

Yeah, well, I’m gonna say clean the fridge. We don’t like cleaning out, yes, like Purging foods that we should all be walking that kind of stuff yeah so what did we learn this last month? Well one. I need a calendar to reminder to even go in there and do this thing, because it does not cross my mind. That’s the first thing. 

 

0:02:56 – Kayla

It reminded me that habits are good but they are hard, and that it’s easy to talk ourselves out of things. Yeah that are good for us, because we like our comfort and our routine. Oh, so it’s been very interesting, what I guess. I apparently do not like to go outside if it’s below 50 degrees, because that’s the one category that if I got dinged for this month, it’s the number of days that I could not check the box that I went outside for 15 minutes or more. 

 

0:03:26 – Brian

If it’s below 80 degrees. What do you carry with you? 

 

0:03:29 – Kayla

a sweater. Okay, yes, that’s it. It’s been interesting. 

 

0:03:33 – Brian

Um, did you notice that she didn’t say sweater? How’d you say it? 

 

0:03:37 – Kayla

Pretty little sweater. 

 

0:03:38 – Brian

Okay, there you go. 

 

0:03:40 – Kayla

Is that what I said? I’m really not sure what I said the first time Sweater, sweater she loves sweaters, but anyway. 

 

0:03:46 – Brian

So I learned that like I Need to eat more salad Cuz I just do. I mean I just, but they get boring. I mean, yeah, 10 days in I had a salad for lunch today. 

 

0:04:01 – Kayla

I think I’m good for the next seven days. So if you’ve seen that meme, with Winnie the Pooh. He’s patting his belly. He’s like is it working yet? Yeah, so we got to meet an adorable baby girl this week. Some friends from our church. They’re in our home group. They welcomed Joanna Esther last week. 

 

0:04:25 – Brian

She was adorable. She is so cute. Got to take them dinner last night. It was just really sweet. She’s what? Six days old and she wanted to hand the baby to us. 

 

0:04:34 – Kayla

I think, oh, I was a little scared. No, no, no, maybe next week, when you know. 

 

0:04:38 – Brian

When, whenever they’re like old enough to bounce off the floor. 

 

0:04:41 – Kayla

That’s when I’ll hold oh Okay, why, note to self, you’re not holding Joanna? Well, she was beautiful, she is. She’s precious. 

 

0:04:50 – Brian

I loved how proud mom and dad were of her. 

 

0:04:52 – Kayla

Oh, they should be. 

 

0:04:54 – Brian

Yeah, I was, but I was nervous that one of them was gonna drop her and that kind of stuff. I said total grandpa mode. Yes, you were so, yes, all right, it’s daylight-saving time. It is what I Felt atone. There was like Cold front moves to this studio just now. Anybody else feel that? 

 

0:05:18 – Kayla

I love the extra daylight, but I don’t like losing my hour of sleep. 

 

0:05:23 – Brian

At our age. We wake up at two o’clock in the morning in the end way and lay there on our phones for an hour. 

 

0:05:29 – Kayla

No, no, no, no, you do. 

 

0:05:32 – Brian

Oh Well, just last night you turned on the TV and because your phone was glowing in the room. That’s not true. We’re not gonna have this argument, it’s good. 

 

0:05:42 – Kayla

Everybody loves each other, but I’m digging a hole in the backyard for your phone. We did okay, but you have gotten into this pattern that you wake up around two and you have to go to the bathroom. You come back and you scroll your phone for a while and you have the brightest phone? I don’t. It’s on dark mode. I think it signals aliens and outer space. It’s that bright and so last night I couldn’t go back to sleep. So, yes, I turned on Frasier. 

 

0:06:15 – Brian

That’s what it was Frasier. So yeah, I heard raws. I was like I think that then I was gone. I was back asleep. So yeah did you say I pull out? No, I dozed back off oh yeah, all right, that’s good Pharisees and we’ve titled this segment Pharisee that. 

 

0:06:35 – Kayla

Mmm. 

 

0:06:35 – Brian

I’m gonna let you start off this segment. There’s a lot of things I want to say, but you’re a lot more gracious than I am. 

 

0:06:44 – Kayla

This has been an ongoing conversation between you and I and for those of you who are new to our podcast, I feel like we need to give a little background here. We work for a ministry that is Five radio stations, and they are spread throughout the east coast of the United States. 

 

0:07:05 – Brian

We are not owned by any denomination. We are not and we employ people. 

 

0:07:09 – Kayla

But we are a Christian ministry. We are a faith-based ministry. There is a side to ministry and this will make sense to some and sorry if not to others that being in ministry, like what we do, it has two sides to it. It has the church aspect, but it also has the business aspect and every once in a while someone will join us and think that this is just a glorified VBS. And then, if you add to it, we are all very complex beings with our own backgrounds that we bring into a workplace. 

 

0:07:49 – Brian

And some of us are more relaxed than others. 

 

0:07:53 – Kayla

And our like beliefs and but if you it’s kind of a potpourri of again it could mirror any other workplace that we have people who are of various faith, various stages yeah, but sorry, various denominations, what I was trying to say, various stages in their faith. Correct, they could be a new Christian. They could have been walking with Christ for 40 years. You’ve got the whole gamut. 

 

0:08:20 – Brian

Somebody’s old as dirt, like me. 

 

0:08:22 – Kayla

And we all have kind of our own journey that we bring with us, yep, and so you and I have a front row seat to this. You are the executive vice president for our organization. I work with our donor care division. 

 

0:08:36 – Brian

I’m the vice president of partner services. 

 

0:08:39 – Kayla

And it’s interesting to watch people as they assimilate into our organization and watch the way that we all kind of get to know each other. So that’s the background for what started this conversation, and then we’ve watched various other things outside of our ministry playing out. 

 

0:09:00 – Brian

And our church is big on grace. 

 

0:09:02 – Kayla

It is. 

 

0:09:03 – Brian

And so as we’ve mentored people and as we’ve watched people come into the organization and as our church and we’ve been part of it, so there are things that we’ve seen, things that we’ve experienced in our own journey and as we’ve walked through. 

 

0:09:21 – Kayla

Admittedly, our background was Southern Baptist. We were both raised in the Southern Baptist Church. We are now Presbyterian, so we will. Pca be fully transparent about that. 

 

0:09:37 – Brian

PCA all the way. 

 

0:09:38 – Kayla

It seems like an ongoing conversation. For you and I, this year has been about this one statement, and then we’ll build off this. It is so easy for all of us, as humans, to fall into the trap that to be in good standing with Christ, it’s Jesus plus our striving. 

 

0:10:00 – Brian

And it’s not. It’s Jesus plus nothing. 

 

0:10:02 – Kayla

Nothing. 

 

0:10:03 – Brian

Tullian Tchividjian, who, if you can spell that name correctly, we’ll send you a fifty dollars. He actually wrote a book called Jesus plus nothing, excellent. But we think that like we can stay in his good grace or that we earn his favor by doing and marking things off, or you know, I’m saying if we can check all the boxes. 

 

0:10:27 – Kayla

Yeah, I did my diva, I read my Bible, I tithed, I prayed. I watched nothing or read nothing that would cause me to stray. I gave to someone in need. I had more faith. I didn’t mess up as much as them air quotes. 

 

0:10:45 – Brian

And that’s a danger, because when you say them like now, it’s not us in this race together, it’s me versus them or us versus. 

 

0:10:56 – Kayla

Well, it’s because we want to view ourselves more rightly and even more righteously. 

 

0:11:03 – Brian

Yeah, that’s a danger. 

 

0:11:04 – Kayla

And so it’s something that you and I have. We’ve been talking about it a lot. We’ve been kind of holding the mirror up to ourselves, asking ourselves some questions. 

 

0:11:16 – Brian

And this is the first thing I want to say to this Give grace on the non-essentials. 

 

0:11:21 – Kayla

And what does that mean? 

 

0:11:23 – Brian

The essentials to me would be like the gospel it would be the divinity of Jesus, it would be the. Trinity. It would be that the word of God’s inspired all these. Yeah, you know, for me it’s the Westminster Confession of Faith, it’s the scripture, but non-essentials. Where do you send your kid to school? 

 

0:11:43 – Kayla

Right. 

 

0:11:44 – Brian

That kind of stuff. That’s a non-essential but we make it part of sometimes our righteousness. In other words, that person isn’t really a Christian because they send their kids to a school, or public school, or or they don’t send them to, like this particular Christian school. 

 

Yeah Well, that’s not in the scriptures and so don’t draw that circle so tightly. Yeah, all Christians believe Christ will return. There are some Christians who believe in what’s called a rapture and some not, and as a result, people start to draw circles, rear really tight that say, yeah, that, like that, you have to believe that if you’re going to be a Christian and you’ve got to give a little bit of grace there, because the Bible, it doesn’t lay out the full picture. So here’s where I am Give grace on the non-essentials.

 

0:12:43 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:12:44 – Brian

That circle should include what is necessary. Everything else should be grace. 

 

0:12:49 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:12:50 – Brian

And when we don’t do that, it starts to put conditions on people and we start to say that what Jesus accomplished wasn’t really enough. 

 

0:13:03 – Kayla

Yep, there it is. 

 

0:13:05 – Brian

That Jesus only accomplished so much, and now I have to make up the deficit. 

 

0:13:12 – Kayla

But here’s the most amazing part in the Old Testament there were laws. See, I’m gonna show you. I’m learning things. 

 

She’s going to this great women’s Bible study these laws were designed for the people of that time to show obedience and loyalty to serving God, and some of these laws are still applicable to us today. I mean they just are. But even then God knew the human condition. He knew we would fail. Jesus was the perfect Atonement for all the things we would need forgiveness. I mean there’s nothing else that needs to be added to that preach. There is no checklist that we need to complete every week preach. So to that, what would you say? 

 

0:14:01 – Brian

I’m gonna say don’t judge others who sin differently than you. 

 

0:14:05 – Kayla

Hmm. 

 

0:14:06 – Brian

Because he died for for those sins as well. Yeah, I sinned with food a lot. I’m really fighting that. I mean, I’m really in the fight with that. I can sin with, like my mouth. I get angry and I pop off stuff. And then I get angry at people who, like sinned differently than me. There are people who are like addicted to like different Substances. I get angry at them. Why it’s so stupid? I’m addicted to food. Why should I get angry at these people? It’s the dumbest thing. But it’s our own hearts that are bent away. 

 

0:14:40 – Kayla

Mm-hmm, because again, we all want to believe that we’re just a little bit more righteous than the person. But Struggling with that, back to your point. 

 

0:14:50 – Brian

but if we measure ourselves against the law, we all fail, yeah, and we’re all in need of grace and we all need Jesus. 

 

0:14:59 – Kayla

We do. We have shared Many, many podcasts with you and we’ll continue to share the ways that God is growing us, exposing what needs to be dug up or out of our hearts and minds. When we share an opinion with you, it is likely based on some kind of pruning that God is doing in us. We’re not attempting we’re just not, we’re not wanting to give you a list of must-dos To be in a good standing with Christ. Sure, there are things that we’re all challenged to do through his word, but the conviction needs to come from the Holy Spirit. 

 

0:15:41 – Brian

Amen it’s not any one of us that gets to guilt or judge another Into meeting my standard or my expectation, the only standard is the one that Jesus gives us preach, and and that’s the danger, because even the book of James teaches us that we shouldn’t judge the law. So here’s what she just said is that I want to put my standard on you. When that happens, that’s me saying I’m greater than the law of Christ. 

 

0:16:13 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:16:13 – Brian

I am better than that and therefore I’m gonna write new laws. I’m gonna write new guidelines. Not at all. We should not shout where the Bible whispers, and we need to give the grace that we have been shown. Y’all, let’s be more like Jesus and yet less like ourselves. Yeah because he didn’t put conditions on us. Come to me, you who are weary and laden, and I will give you rest. 

 

0:16:41 – Kayla

Yep. 

 

0:16:42 – Brian

And what that means. Rest from what? Rest from trying to keep the law. Rest from trying to keep it perfectly. You’re not. Because we can, you can’t, yeah. 

 

0:16:51 – Kayla

Now we’re not giving a pass to live like a heathen or I love how you say that. It’s just what we are communicating. Is that anything that you’re hearing us talk about? It either is or was something that God Put before us that either needed some kind of examination by us, or we’re still thinking through it or working through it, but we sure have not arrived, and we are not saying that a person Can just walk away from the faith and just deny everything and that’s okay. 

 

0:17:24 – Brian

That’s not at all what we’re saying. No but what we are saying is don’t put limits where Christ has not Receive that mercy. 

 

0:17:34 – Kayla

Rest in that mercy and receive that grace and live in it and I will end with this the people that God has put you in a workplace with, in a home, with, in a church, with all of those people are going to let you down, they’re going to disappoint you, they are going to not measure up, they’re not going to meet your expectations at times. They’re gonna fail and you’re gonna have kind of your world rocked because maybe you, like me, have made the mistake of putting them on a pedestal that they never asked to be put on. So maybe all be mindful, when any of that happens, to see them not as the disappointment but as the beloved that Jesus gave his life for, just like each one of us. 

 

0:18:33 – Brian

And you made a good point. The other night we were talking about this. How many times have I missed Jesus’s standard? 

 

0:18:39 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:18:39 – Brian

He’s forgiven me and he’s loved me. 

 

0:18:42 – Kayla

Good point, a lot to think about. 

 

0:18:43 – Brian

There’s a lot to think about. I see we have a list here of words. 

 

0:18:49 – Kayla

So we’re going to shift gears? No, I gotta take a picture. We’re going to shift gears. 

 

0:18:53 – Brian

You have the cutest little socks on in the whole world, you like my socks. Today I’m going to share this, that picture, when this episode comes out. Oh, okay. Okay, they’re like pink, maroon, gray, they’re like stripes. 

 

0:19:08 – Kayla

They’re my pretty little socks to go in my pretty little sweater. Oh, here, baby don’t. 

 

0:19:12 – Brian

Don’t? She loves sweater. Anyway. Okay, there was a meme. 

 

0:19:17 – Kayla

About a week ago you shared a meme that was a fish with crooked teeth and it had a British saying that if you are British, you could hear it as you read it. 

 

0:19:33 – Brian

Why did it say? 

 

0:19:34 – Kayla

You try. I want you to try. It’s Chews-dee, isn’t it? No, you were so close, we had y’all. We have been practicing this for a solid week.

 

0:19:43 – Brian

This is how y’all, this is how boring our lives are. Go ahead. 

 

0:19:46 – Kayla

So I want you to say it For the English to say it. Okay, it’s Tuesday in it, okay. So, there’s not a day in it. 

 

0:19:54 – Brian

For those who are Americans listening to this, it’s what we would say is it’s Tuesday, isn’t it? But a British person would say it’s Chews-dee, innit. 

 

0:20:05 – Kayla

Okay, so y’all we have, I bet you we’ve she’s trying to get me to say it right, and he still can’t. Y’all, it’s Tuesday, isn’t it? 

 

0:20:18 – Brian

I’m from the southern part of England. Okay, I’m from the south. Okay, let me try one more time. It’s Chews-dee. Well, I’m trying Read it. It’s Chews-dee, isn’t it? No? 

 

0:20:34 – Kayla

You’re close, let’s try this again Choose, choose D D In it, in it. There you go. Now put it together. It’s Chews-dee, innit? Got it. Very good. So now we’re going to have a little fun.

 

0:20:45 – Brian

How do y’all understand each other? 

 

0:20:48 – Kayla

Well, I’m about to teach you some British words. 

 

0:20:52 – Brian

Okay, how’s this work? 

 

0:20:54 – Kayla

So we’re going to play a game and I’ve got the answers, but I’m going to hold them up Now, wait a minute I’m going to. 

 

0:21:00 – Brian

I’m from America. I can tell you what these words might mean in America, really. 

 

0:21:04 – Kayla

Okay, well, let’s see. 

 

0:21:05 – Brian

Here we go. Okay. 

 

0:21:07 – Kayla

If I say trolley, what am I referring to? 

 

0:21:10 – Brian

Street car. 

 

0:21:12 – Kayla

Grocery cart. 

 

0:21:14 – Brian

No, that is not true. Yes, it is. We call that a buggy over here. 

 

0:21:19 – Kayla

Well, good luck. 

 

0:21:20 – Brian

That’s a trolley. At Aldi they charge you a quarter for a trolley. 

 

0:21:25 – Kayla

They do all right If I say dummy. 

 

0:21:28 – Brian

Idiot. 

 

0:21:30 – Kayla

Pacifier, baby, pacifier, baby. Here’s one you’ll know. No that is not. You’re making stuff up, as God is my witness. 

 

0:21:40 – Brian

Y’all call a baby pacifier a dummy. 

 

0:21:43 – Kayla

If I say biscuit, you know this one. Cookie, you got it. Trainers. 

 

0:21:49 – Brian

Trainers. 

 

0:21:50 – Kayla

Mm-hmm. 

 

0:21:53 – Brian

Gym coach. 

 

0:21:54 – Kayla

Sneakers. 

 

0:21:56 – Brian

You are baby. 

 

0:21:57 – Kayla

I am not making this up. I’m not, Baby, I don’t believe this. Drawing pen what? 

 

0:22:06 – Brian

What is a drawing? That’s what I’m asking. You are all pens. Can’t you draw with all of them? 

 

0:22:11 – Kayla

Drawing pin P-I-N. What does that stand for? 

 

0:22:16 – Brian

You can’t draw with a P-I-N. You can poke somebody drawing pin. Take a breath and give me an answer. Knitting needle. 

 

0:22:24 – Kayla

Thumbtack. 

 

0:22:26 – Brian

This is the no. I am cutting this podcast off. 

 

0:22:29 – Kayla

What… a nappy. 

 

0:22:32 – Brian

Oh, that’s what my executive assistant, Adam Reed, takes about six of a day a nappy, I think I know this one. Is it a diaper? 

 

0:22:43 – Kayla

It is Very good. Crisps, what Crisps? Spell it C-R-I-S-P-S. Potato chips. You got it. Now, this one’s not that hard. Crisps. Ice lolly. 

 

0:23:01 – Brian

What? What? It’s not this hard Ice lolly I’ve ever heard that in my life? 

 

0:23:12 – Kayla

Give me your best guess. Popsicle. There you go. 

 

0:23:17 – Brian

No, we gotta talk about this word. 

 

0:23:20 – Kayla

Go ahead. That’s crazy. Bend it out. No, doesn’t change that. Ice lolly is a popsicle. No, it’s not. Football. Soccer. Very good. Timetable. 

 

0:23:31 – Brian

What? Well, I know what it’s, I don’t know a season schedule.

 

0:23:41 – Kayla

Here’s a few phrases for you. I’m chuffed. 

 

0:23:47 – Brian

Pissed. 

 

0:23:48 – Kayla

Actually, it means really happy. How was that close? You should know this one what chuffed, chuffed, what CHUFFED. 

 

0:24:02 – Brian

That… baby? Are you sure that’s even a word? 

 

0:24:04 – Kayla

It’s a word, it is knackered. Your face is a picture. Drunk. Really tired or exhausted. 

 

0:24:14 – Brian

I’m knackered. 

 

0:24:16 – Kayla

Dodgy, you should know this one. 

 

0:24:19 – Brian

Dodgy. 

 

0:24:21 – Kayla

I’m gonna make it. I’ll put it in this. No, hang on Slick, he’s a bit dodgy. He’s slick. Very good, close. Sketchy or suspicious Sketchy, suspicious and a cuppa. 

 

0:24:33 – Brian

A cu… what. 

 

0:24:35 – Kayla

A cuppa. Now you need to get this. C-u-p-o-f a cuppa, cuppa C-U-P-P-A. 

 

0:24:44 – Brian

That’s not a word, it is a word. 

 

0:24:46 – Kayla

Baby, it’s a phrase. 

 

0:24:48 – Brian

Cuppa, I don’t… Tea? Is it a cup of tea? 

 

0:24:55 – Kayla

There you go, that’s not a word. It is no. 

 

0:25:00 – Brian

You just had your very first. 

 

0:25:01 – Kayla

British lesson. 

 

0:25:02 – Brian

What’s this? I don’t think I did. Jumper. 

 

0:25:04 – Kayla

Oh, I did. What do you think? It is clothes, but what in particular? 

 

0:25:11 – Brian

A jacket? Sweater. 

 

0:25:15 – Kayla

So there you go. That is not. 

 

0:25:23 – Kayla

So that is your very first British lesson. 

 

0:25:27 – Brian

Kayla’s dad came over to America for our wedding. 

 

0:25:30 – Kayla

Yes. 

 

0:25:32 – Brian

And we went to, took him to the grocery store to buy him. He wanted to buy a roast. Now, nobody told me any of these, any of this word. I’m going to share one story. He goes to the butcher at the grocery I’m with him and he goes up to the butcher and he says mate, I’d like a two-pitch, I’d like a two-pound joint. Dad, you can’t be asking for drugs here, dad, why are you asking for drugs? No, a joint is a roast, Not in America, dad, you just asked the butcher for illegal drugs. 

 

And then the manager came out and I had to explain to everybody that your dad was British. 

 

0:26:14 – Kayla

There was also a situation where my dad had been going through a rough time and we had called to talk with him just to see how he was doing, and we’re on the phone. This is back in the day, kids, when we had house phones and there’s one upstairs and then there’s the extension downstairs. Well, I’m on the one phone and you’re on the other, and I hear my dad say not so good mate, I’ve been made redundant. And your response was well, congratulations. 

 

0:26:47 – Brian

I thought that meant like you got promoted. 

 

0:26:50 – Kayla

But it meant what. 

 

0:26:52 – Brian

He’d been let go. 

 

0:26:52 – Kayla

He’d been laid off. 

 

0:26:54 – Brian

So embarrassed. 

 

0:26:56 – Kayla

So again interpretation was needed. 

 

0:26:58 – Brian

I’m a dumb American. 

 

0:26:59 – Kayla

No, not at all, just two worlds collide. 

 

0:27:02 – Brian

Yeah, just don’t remember that. We whipped y’all’s tail at Yorktown, oh, here we go. On that note. 

 

0:27:09 – Kayla

This has been fun, it’s been educational. 

 

0:27:12 – Brian

It’s Chews-dee. Oh, here we go again. Say it for me. Did I get it right that time? You did very close. It’s Chews-dee, isn’t it? Nope? What am I saying wrong? It’s Chews-dee innit? 

 

0:27:24 – Kayla

There we go, you got it. There’s not a D in the second word In it. The first two people who go to our website and you will not have to answer any British question. 

 

0:27:39 – Brian

And you’re not going to have to say Chews-dee either. 

 

0:27:42 – Kayla

You’ll win a Peas and Parrots coffee mug and some stickers and some stickers. 

 

0:27:47 – Brian

All that you have to do is go to peasand carrotspodcast.com. When you get there you look for a little button. It says trivia, and when you get there you answer this question. 

 

0:27:58 – Kayla

So, as we are getting ready for daylight saving time, do you prefer springing forward or falling back? 

 

0:28:06 – Brian

I prefer Chews-dees. Here we go, so you can win a mug and a pack of stickers. We’ve been having about four winners a week. 

 

0:28:15 – Kayla

At least, and thank you so much, for it’s been a lot of fun reading your comments. I hope you’re enjoying your mug. We need to bring some of those comments so we will do that. Yes, we should do that. I think next week we’ll share some of what you’ve shared with us. 

 

0:28:28 – Brian

Anyway, go to peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Click on the trivia button. 

 

0:28:32 – Kayla

Here’s the question Do you prefer springing forward or falling back? All right, and we will delightfully send you some stickers and a mug. You can also search Peas and Carrots Podcast wherever you get your podcasts, or visit our website. 

 

0:28:48 – Brian

That is peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Hey, when you do, please don’t forget to subscribe to our podcast. You can also follow us on Facebook and Instagram. 

 

0:28:57 – Kayla

Just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast. 

 

0:28:59 – Brian

One more time it’s cheers day, isn’t it. Nope? 

 

0:29:04 – Kayla

Man, so close. 

 

0:29:06 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Growing through the challenges we face and finding hope along the way. That’s the Jesus Fix It Podcast with Jess. Check out jesusfixit.com or search Jesus Fix It wherever you listen to podcasts.  

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