Season 3, Episode 18: Oh, Bless

Can We Talk?
Oh, Bless - Episode Description

Join us, Brian and Kayla, as we recount our latest adventures, starting with our commitment to a three-day gym routine and Kayla’s intense day of gardening that led to some minor injuries and spider bites. We share a delightful dinner experience with new friends at the River Company, which brought a nostalgic sense of pre-pandemic normalcy. Listen in as we discuss the trap of self-sufficiency and the importance of recognizing and accepting the blessings, goodness, and grace of God as a gift, not something that can be earned.

In this episode, we also explore the everyday challenges of middle age, including sleep patterns, managing heat waves, and frequent bathroom breaks. We touch on the humorous aspects of forgetfulness and the diminishing effectiveness of multitasking, along with our differing tolerances for air conditioning and the concept of a “napitizer.”

It's A Trap - Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 


0:00:11 – Brian

Welcome to the Peas and Carrots Podcast. Hi, I’m Kayla and I’m Brian. 


0:00:16 – Kayla

How are we? 


0:00:17 – Brian

We’re good, we are good, we are good. We went to the gym every day this week. We did. Well hang on. 


0:00:27 – Kayla

We went to the gym for the three days we’re supposed to go? 


0:00:29 – Brian

yes, we did so, and it didn’t kill us it didn’t. 


0:00:32 – Kayla

I’m feeling it, but we’re here, yeah y’all. 


0:00:37 – Brian

We’ll be sitting downstairs about 8 30 at night. She’ll get up and she’ll walk like very gingerly. Y’all remember Tim Conway? I used to play that old man on the Carol Burnett show. She looks like she’s walking by sometimes. So, what’s up in our world besides that? 


0:00:55 – Kayla

Well, speaking of walking like that, Saturday I got this wild hair that I wanted to trim some of our shrubs. Seven hours later, mission accomplished. I was very sore for a couple of days Y’all she cut rose, bushes, shrubs, flowers. Planted some flowers. It was time, it’s spring. 


0:01:18 – Brian

And during the process she cut herself on all this stuff. How many nicks and cuts and bump bites oh, that’s not important. 


0:01:24 – Kayla

Actually, I really only ended up with two scratches, which is miraculous for me, but I think I got into a nest of spiders and I had about eight bites on me, so yeah, why are you telling me this publicly on this podcast? 


0:01:41 – Brian

and you’ve been sleeping next to me for a week since the biters. 


0:01:46 – Kayla

I think that’s what it was. I looked up the bites, kind of yeah, so I’m good, I’m still here I’m not really worried about you, I’m worried about them. 


0:01:54 – Brian

Things crawling off of you, onto me. 


0:01:55 – Kayla

They’re not on me, they were in the leaves and yeah, so calm down I’m a little whatever, we had an amazing dinner with some new friends. We did we did, it was yeah. 


0:02:13 – Brian

We went to one of our favorite places called the River Company. 


0:02:16 – Kayla

Some of you will understand this. It was reminiscent of pre-pandemic life and it felt like we finally got back to that. 


0:02:25 – Brian

Laughter stories. It was a grand time. Yeah, it was wonderful, it was. 


0:02:32 – Kayla



0:02:33 – Brian

And we’ve committed to make it a monthly gig. We have so yeah that’s going to be fun. It was great. 


0:02:39 – Kayla

Speaking of restaurants, though, we talked about this, I think, maybe on our last, last podcast. But, B, how many times have we now been to Cabo after today? Because you have declared we’re going there for lunch today? Four, uh-huh. 


0:02:54 – Brian

In the span of two or three weeks. 


0:02:59 – Kayla

You now have a new favorite restaurant. I do, oh, I’ve got big news. Okay. 


0:03:05 – Brian

I just learned it this morning oh big news. Okay, the new Godzilla movie to be the minus one. Is that your way of saying you will not be watching this movie? 


0:03:33 – Kayla

with me. 


0:03:33 – Brian

I have some flowers that need tending, so and it is in Japanese, so you have to use subtitles, but it’s incredible. 


0:03:42 – Kayla

Oh, I’m outside. You enjoy that is, it’s Zilla. Uh-huh, carry on, you’re going to be the minus one. I’m the minus one. 


0:03:52 – Brian

That’s great. 


0:03:56 – Kayla

You and I were talking the other day about this trend towards people seeing themselves as very self-sufficient, and it led to several conversations. But another thing that I shared with you it was one of those evenings where we were just kind of bouncing around from topic to topic and I shared with you that I see how God has us in a season of plenty, and let me unpack that just a little bit. We are both seeing all the ways that God is blessing us in our lives and I admitted that in these seasons I wait for the other shoe to drop. It’s like I’m constantly watching for something bad to happen and that’s just my I think it’s my self-protection of let me not get comfortable here. But it led us to start talking about what it looks like when God is blessing all of us, and it was a great conversation that kind of had many aspects to it. 


So we’re just going to share some of that here, some of the things that you and I were discussing. 


0:05:06 – Brian

So I want to start here. Why do you think that in this season of plenty in other words, we have friends, we’ve been going out, the organization’s thriving, we’re going to the gym all these different things happening? Why do you dread yeah? 


0:05:24 – Kayla

So we’re in a season where all those things, life has been very peaceful. It’s been very calm for the most part. Don’t get me wrong. We’ve had some hard things. We even referenced that recently on a podcast. But for us personally, things have been very even keeled, as far as there’s not been a lot of drama and there has been, unless I’ve created it. 


0:05:47 – Brian

Let’s just be honest, okay. 


0:05:50 – Kayla

We’re in a state of contentment, would it be fair to say, with everything. I think for me it’s just when I was younger, a lot of times in my life when things felt good, something bad would happen, I would get bad news or there would be a bad situation, and so, yes, it’s probably not to use this term like it’s probably a trauma response that I can’t allow myself to really enjoy the good thing. 


0:06:18 – Brian

But, you’re scared Because. 


0:06:19 – Kayla

I’m scared of you know what’s coming next. What’s going to happen that’s going to take all of this away or make it not as pleasant as it has been. 


0:06:28 – Brian

There is a truth there, and I hate to share this truth, but life does come with pain. In other words, it rains oh I know that well. 


0:06:35 – Kayla

There’s a verse in Matthew the rain falls on the righteous and the unrighteous and either yeah you can view rain as a flood, or is it helping crops? 


0:06:44 – Brian

so you know, it’s the bad and the good happen to both the righteous and the unrighteous. 


0:06:49 – Kayla

Sure, I get that what you and I started talking about. So this is where we’re kind of dip our toe in here. We started talking about people who tend to believe that their blessings are something they did, or perhaps they have sown a seed and so therefore they are I’ve? 


earned this, I’m worthy of this, which led to this truth being good people does not merit us reward, it tells us in Romans 3, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, we did nothing to save ourselves. But there is this movement that I can name it, claim it, I can sow a seed and then God will do this good thing, or I am worthy of that. I’m a good person. I’ve given to charity, I’ve done this, I’ve done that. 


0:07:45 – Brian

Scripture actually says that the entire world, that the universe, groans under the curse. So everything here, because of what Adam, and Eve, eve did, we’ve all been placed under this curse and everything groans yeah there’s this brokenness to it. So here’s what I want to say the only thing that isn’t under the curse would be god himself. Yeah, okay, so everything else would be under this curse, here on earth and in the universe. So here’s the thing. If that’s the case, we can’t earn anything. 


0:08:22 – Kayla

No, it’s all a gift from him. Yes, yeah. 


0:08:26 – Brian

I’ve been telling you the last few weeks who deserves a life like this. 


0:08:31 – Kayla

Yeah, we’ve just been both sitting with that feeling like who are we to have so much of God’s goodness? And again, this is not a well look at us and it’s certainly not a life is just all rainbows and roses. There have been. We even shared that recently on a podcast. There have been a lot of difficult things for our PAR team that we have felt they are our family and we have walked through a lot of that with them. What we are referring to here is this mindset that we deserve the credit and we don’t I mean I’m going to go there. We don’t I mean I’m going to go there. Prosperity gospel tells us that we can improve our lives through devotion and a positive confession towards God. God doesn’t work that way. 


0:09:26 – Brian

He is not a genie’s lamp. No, you can’t go over and rub it and speak it and proclaim it. No, scripture says that he’s declared the end from the beginning. Yeah, so we can’t change that. For that I want to be cautious here, but I also want to speak some truth. There’s a great effort along this exact same topic, this exact same thing we’re talking about, yeah, to where everyone is saying you’re worthy. Yeah, or you deserve it or I’m worthy. 


0:10:00 – Kayla

You’re not, or God wants this for you. Or God, you’re worthy yeah or you deserve it, or I’m worthy, you’re not, or god wants this for you or god? 


0:10:03 – Brian

you’re not. How do we know the mind of god? Well, there’s that, but that’s a very good point, because we seem to shout a lot wherever god whispers. But I want to say this we’re not worthy of the goodness, the kindness, the blessings and the grace. You see, the song Amazing Grace. The reason why he wrote it is because grace is amazing, because we don’t deserve it. Yeah, and the moment we start saying we’re worthy or we deserve it, grace is no longer amazing, grace is then. 


0:10:32 – Kayla

And we minimize what he’s done. Yes, and that is not. That’s not the gospel. 


0:10:38 – Brian

And it’s amazing grace, it’s not earned grace. 


0:10:41 – Kayla



0:10:42 – Brian

Who wants to sing earned grace. How sweet the sound. Who can earn it? Yeah? 


0:10:48 – Kayla

There’s another truth the goodness that God shows us should drive us to our knees in gratitude. It should should drive us to our knees in gratitude. It should not thanking us for ourselves, not thanking us for all the things we did or all the praise that we deserve, but it’s all about him. 


0:11:09 – Brian

I agree 100% with what you just said. My fault is I fall into a trap of thinking that if I keep doing X, y, z, oh, we all do that. If I keep reading, if I keep praying, if I keep going to church, if I keep, if I work harder, if I yeah. And that, if I don’t say as many curse words, you know that this blessing will continue to flow. 


0:11:34 – Kayla



0:11:34 – Brian

That’s not how he works. No, it’s according to his will, whatever he wants to do and on his time frame. 


0:11:41 – Kayla

Yeah, may I admit that I’m one of these who has said well, they are such good people, I can’t believe that they’re going through this, or they would be such good parents, or they deserve so much better in life. We don’t get to decide that God’s the one that is sovereign over all, and no matter how good we think we are, no matter how worthy we think we should be, he is the one that holds all things. 


0:12:12 – Brian

You’re going to upset a few people because you started preaching, I’m just saying. But I’m going to say amen, preach louder. I am 100%. All in Well, miss Kayla, yeah, I’m 56. We won’t reveal your age, okay. 


0:12:31 – Kayla

I mean I’ve made it this far. I’ll be 52 in October. 


0:12:39 – Brian

You remember, at one time you lost track of a birthday I. 


0:12:41 – Kayla

You thought you were a year younger. I was 32 and I thought I was turning 31 and y’all, I had an absolute meltdown. You looked at me and would you like to share what you said. I don’t remember. Well, babe, it was a great year. I was here for it. 


0:12:56 – Brian

You actually sat down and cried, I bawled, I’m like I lost the whole year. 


0:13:08 – Kayla

You didn’t lose it. 


0:13:11 – Brian

It was right there. Here’s my thing you handle the finances in our house. 


0:13:16 – Kayla

You’re welcome. Middle age, it hits a little different. It does, doesn’t it? So I now have to take my glasses off to read labels. Or I’ve learned a trick, y’all If you’ll take your iPhone and take a picture of the label, you can then zoom in on it, you can blow it up so you can see what’s on the label. But I cannot read labels anymore. You walked into the kitchen the other day and I had my glasses in one hand and I was reading a label with the other here we are. 


0:13:46 – Brian

Sometimes, when you take something out of the fridge and you want to see the expiration date, does anybody have to go turn on an extra light? 


0:13:52 – Kayla

oh yes, I have to go stand by the window. 


0:13:55 – Brian

I just I turn on the. This is where we are I turn on? Flashlight on my phone and I highlight the date. So gone are the days of sleeping through the night. 


0:14:09 – Kayla

Oh yes, mercy, I wake up, at least once if not twice. 


0:14:15 – Brian

For me. I sleep two, sleep two, three, four hours. Uh-huh, I’ll wake up, go do my business, come back to bed and I’ll lay there for an hour. 


0:14:27 – Kayla

Oh no, I don’t do that, thank goodness, unless there’s a lot going on or I know I have a big project coming up at work. I go right back to sleep, but yeah, I have to get up and yeah, I’ll lay there for work. I go right back to sleep, but yeah, I have to get up. 


0:14:38 – Brian

And yeah, I’ll lay there for an hour if I go back to sleep. I’ve talked to some buddies of mine. This is normal. 


0:14:44 – Kayla

Now, I do wake up some nights with a heat wave, but we’ll just leave it there. So y’all it’s the funniest thing. 


0:14:50 – Brian

Let me just paint a picture. We’ll be downstairs watching one of our shows and in one of our shows and she loves for the house to be cool and cold and she likes to be all bundled up under my blanket, under a blanket. All of a sudden there is no announcement all of a sudden that blanket will come tearing off of her and one leg will stick out and I will just say baby, it’s my cooling mechanism. 


Yeah, and I said, baby you, you say I got a little heat wave happening, yep, but those aren’t happening as much anymore, are they every now?


0:15:20 – Kayla

and then, thank God, no Change your diet, it works. Just saying 9 pm is the new midnight for us. 


0:15:29 – Brian

And usually 8.15 to 8.45, is usually a napitizer. 


0:15:34 – Kayla

A napitizer? What in the world? You know we fall asleep. 


0:15:43 – Brian

Oh, we have done that lately. 


0:15:43 – Kayla

Yeah well, I’m usually taking a bath, but so you’re taking a napitizer while I’m taking a bath, did we not? We both fell asleep the other night yeah, and so we fall asleep. 


0:15:52 – Brian

Yeah, for about 30 minutes downstairs. We’ll wake up and you’ll say b, let you ready to go to bed, let’s go to bed. That 30 minutes is an appetizer. Yeah, before you get to the main sleep. 


0:16:04 – Kayla

Yeah, what is something you found with bathrooms B? 


0:16:11 – Brian

can we clarify that question a little bit? 


0:16:14 – Kayla

I cannot walk past one without stopping it’s like something in your brain says I gotta go you also don’t know at my age when you’re gonna see another one. 


0:16:22 – Brian

Yeah, so I’m always true. 


0:16:25 – Kayla

I used to joke with people who stopped at every bathroom and now I’m like well, that just makes common sense, we should probably do that. So yeah, I mean, I don’t Anyone else struggle with the forgetfulness. It’s like you can’t remember things that were just so easy. Come back or recall, and now it’s like, hmm, if I have to stay very attentive in conversations. 


0:16:51 – Brian

I used to be able to do two or three things at once and I could retain everything. 


0:16:55 – Kayla

Well, I think you’d be surprised to find out that’s most of us, because multitasking is not as brilliant as everybody thought it would be. 


0:17:03 – Brian

But I have to really zero in, listen attentively in order to retain the information. But the forgetfulness is a real thing. I’ll do a devotion in the morning at 5 am. By like 12 noon I have forgotten exactly. I don’t even know what I read. I have no idea. So I started doing an evening one too, just so I can. 


0:17:26 – Kayla

My thing is names. I’ll be sitting there, I can see someone and I think I honestly cannot remember their name. You know what I’d love? 


0:17:35 – Brian

is to have a pair of glasses. I’d like to have my glasses where they are, but I wish that Apple would invent a thing where my glasses could connect to my phone. When you walk up to somebody you could like tap them twice and it gives you their name. It would do facial recognition on them and would give you their name. 


0:17:53 – Kayla

Wow. Well, there you go. 


0:17:55 – Brian

Wouldn’t that be nice? 


0:17:56 – Kayla

The next big invention. 


0:17:58 – Brian

Maybe I just, Maybe you came up with it. I’m sure somebody’s already invented this, but yeah, these are things we’re finding at middle age. I can’t tolerate air conditioning as much anymore. 


0:18:09 – Kayla

Oh, bring it on. 


0:18:10 – Brian

You’re all about it. 


0:18:11 – Kayla

I am. 


0:18:15 – Brian

We bring it on. You’re all about it, I am. We have completely reversed. I mean, I’m downstairs under two blankets. You’re over there, you know. I mean you’re over doing a little dance, so it’s a fun. I mean I’m enjoying this stage of life with you. Oh, absolutely. I don’t always enjoy how my body feels. 


0:18:31 – Kayla

Yeah, yeah, it’s an adjustment. I remember your dad said something one time. He said I never thought I would get old and by far we’re not there. But I mean, but we’re on the yellow brick road. 


0:18:46 – Brian

I mean we’re going to see the wizard. You know what I’m saying? 


0:18:50 – Kayla

But I feel like a lot of people can relate to some of this. So there we go. This is us. 


0:18:55 – Brian

This is us, so I’m here for it. Hey, thanks for listening to this week’s episode of the Peas and Carrots podcast, and we would like to send you. 


0:19:05 – Kayla

We’d love to send you a mug and some stickers the first two people to go to our website and thank you to all those who have shared with us.


0:19:13 – Brian

I want to do a special shout out to a friend of ours. Okay, her first name is Hope. 


0:19:18 – Kayla



0:19:18 – Brian

And she’s been emailing us every week. Hope we actually see those messages. Thank you for communicating. 


0:19:23 – Kayla

There is a package headed your way. Yes, and we have been praying for your recovery, so we hope you are doing well. We’re excited for all of your plans for the summer. We pray that God blesses you with healing so that you can enjoy those. But yes, if, like Hope, you would like to get a mug and some stickers, go to our website. Look for the trivia button. 


0:19:45 – Brian

Our website is 


0:19:49 – Kayla



0:19:49 – Brian When you get there, click on the trivia button. What is this week’s question? 


0:19:55 – Kayla

What movie, minus one, is Brian excited about? 


0:20:00 – Brian

Oh, it’s going to be. It comes out tomorrow. Yeah, I’m so excited. So go to 


0:20:08 – Kayla

Click that trivia button. 


0:20:09 – Brian

Answer that question level of enthusiasm is not impressive. Okay, and this is the question what movie am I excited about? 


0:20:16 – Kayla

Uh-huh, okay. You can search the Peas and Carrots Podcast wherever you get your podcasts, or visit our website, and when you do, please don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast you can also follow us on Facebook and Instagram. 


0:20:30 – Brian

Just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast. 


0:20:33 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit Life’s not perfect. That’s why God gave us friends like Melody and Candi. Check out, or search Quirks, Bumps, and Bruises wherever you listen to podcasts.




Season 3, Episode 17: It’s A Trap

Can We Talk?
It's A Trap - Episode Description

In the Peas and Carrots Podcast episode titled “Embracing Life’s Journey: From Cabo Fish Taco to Summer Adventures,” hosts Brian and Kayla Sanders share their experiences and insights on living a meaningful life. They discuss the importance of embracing your unique path without falling into the trap of comparing your journey to others.

From delighting in a newfound favorite restaurant to funny incidents that remind them of the aging process, they offer a heartwarming and humorous take on life’s adventures and the significance of companionship. The episode also delves into navigating life as a couple with differing habits and preferences, preparing for the summer season, and staying connected with friends.

It's A Trap - Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 


0:00:11 – Kayla

Welcome to the peas and carrots podcast. I’m Brian and. 


0:00:14 – Brian

I’m Kayla. Welcome to our piece of the vegetable patch. Mm-hmm, we haven’t had any insecticide put on a shift this season. 


0:00:23 – Kayla

Gee boy I’m running a little bit late this morning, y’all I just put on my headphones. 


0:00:30 – Brian

I’ve been at the dealership dealing with taking care of my car. 


0:00:35 – Kayla

I appreciate that. So the semester has officially ended. We had our last home group yesterday evening. We transitioned to our summer schedule at work today. 


0:00:46 – Brian

We had barbecue last night and a little veggie salad, which was wonderful. 


0:00:51 – Kayla



0:00:52 – Brian

Mozzarella and tomatoes and cucumbers. It was wonderful. 


0:00:55 – Kayla

Lots of laughs and fun times. 


0:00:57 – Brian

It was good times, little baby. 


0:00:59 – Kayla

Joanna was there. 


0:01:03 – Brian

Who makes everybody happy? 


0:01:05 – Kayla

Yes, she does, and I was nice last night I let I let other people snuggle her. 


0:01:10 – Brian

Did you get to snuggle? 


0:01:11 – Kayla

No, but that’s OK. 


0:01:14 – Brian

OK, I can deal. 


0:01:16 – Kayla

I will next time. 


0:01:17 – Brian



0:01:19 – Kayla

We’ve lived here 20 years. 


0:01:20 – Brian

What is something new that? 


0:01:21 – Kayla

we did this week be for the first. I mean, it’s not a new restaurant, but where did we go this week? 


0:01:29 – Brian

A restaurant, yes, called Cabo Fish Taco, and I am in love with this place. 


0:01:36 – Kayla

Now confess what’s been your thoughts about it for 20 years, until. 


0:01:41 – Brian

Who would eat a fish taco? You loved it. Oh, they did this thing called a Baja Bowl. It had grilled shrimp, rice, black beans and some veggies. 


0:01:53 – Kayla

But the ambiance of the restaurant reminded us of where. 


0:01:57 – Brian



0:01:57 – Kayla

Orleans yeah. 


0:01:58 – Brian

It was great. 


0:01:59 – Kayla

So we’ll be going back. 


0:02:01 – Brian

It even smelled like New Orleans a little bit it did yeah. Not that that’s an endearing smell, but it smelled like New Orleans a little bit, so I enjoyed it was great we got to visit with some of our dearest friends, yep, so mine and mike’s reason for existence is to put you and Wanda together. That’s the reason why we my bestie, so yeah, we went to a. We went to Harrisonburg. There’s a great pizza place there in downtown. I can’t remember the name Bella Luna. Bella Luna, yeah. 


0:02:30 – Kayla

If you are ever there, it’s what do they call it? Wood-fired pizza. It’s wonderful. 


0:02:37 – Brian

And I can get one that’s allergen-free and it’s great. 


0:02:40 – Kayla

But we had a great day with them and got to catch up after fundraising season, so yeah, I think we were the loudest people in Barnes and Noble, I think we were, but that’s okay. We sat in the cafe. Sorry, not sorry. So yeah, it was fun. 


0:02:53 – Brian

So we were at a restaurant last weekend. 


0:02:57 – Kayla

Not Cabo, and we won’t say where. 


0:03:00 – Brian

Okay, and we’d finished our meal. Waitress comes up to bring us the ticket. She slicked at both of us and said do y’all have an AARP discount? 


0:03:29 – Kayla

And your reaction. You didn’t say anything to her, but your eyes got as big as saucers and your jaw hit the table a little bit. She could not see my face, but yes, I’m still recovering. But yeah, I mean you don’t look a day over 29, but it’s oh come on, but it’s my beard, it’s my goatee, that and my gray hair and yeah, but anyway, beautiful, I’m healing from that. It’s my goatee and my gray hair. Yeah, but anyway, beautiful, I’m healing from that. 


0:03:49 – Brian

But I got to be honest. It’s the first time ever we’ve been asked. 


0:03:54 – Kayla

And I hope it’s the last time ever. It’s the first time we’ve ever been asked. 


0:03:58 – Brian

Do y’all have an AARP discount? I have to say so. Here’s where we are. 


0:04:05 – Kayla

So I was visiting with a friend the other day and she made a comment about the stage of life that she’s in and how hard it is not to compare herself to others in the same stage and feeling like maybe she’s not getting it right or she’s coming up short, and it led me to think about an ongoing topic that we all have with ourselves, which is the trap of comparison. 


0:04:35 – Brian

I do this all. 


0:04:36 – Kayla

We all do it, and so here’s a few gentle reminders for all of us, our first one being this their journey is not your journey. At our gym, each of us has our own fitness plan and it’s catered to what our goals are and what our needs are and, honestly, what my capabilities are. But it’s easy for me to fall prey to feeling inferior to others in that gym who are doing things that would probably break bones in my body. But I have to remind myself you have goals. You have a plan crafted by your trainer, which is what’s safe for you, it’s what’s good for you, and just chase hard after that. Don’t get distracted by what other people are able to accomplish or not accomplish. 


0:05:26 – Brian

When we joined the gym, I started following our gym on Instagram. It’s called Trouble Wellness, and as soon as I started following them, Instagram starts recommending training videos, and there’s these people on there who have six-pack abs. Well, I don’t even have a one pack ab I mean, I haven’t seen my ab since probably month three of my birth. 


Okay, so it just I’m being serious, so I can’t even feel them. But here’s the thing, like those videos, like whenever they come up, first some of them made me uncomfortable, so I’m like you know, I don’t want to see this. So they’re little x. And then, over time, I’m like I have to check myself because I can’t compare myself to this you’re not meant to. 


0:06:16 – Kayla

Yeah, you know, but it is. I mean we all do it follow. 


0:06:19 – Brian

You know I need to watch videos of people my age, my size trying to work out and die. That that’s what I need. 


0:06:25 – Kayla

Just today I was rowing and a guy came and sat down next to me and was rowing and I realized do not try to keep his pace. He’s like six foot five and he’s a dude. 


0:06:39 – Brian

So I had to tell myself your pace is what you’re meant to do, so yeah, Also, early in our marriage, we made a big decision and a series of decisions, and one of those is this we’re not going to keep up with others. Nope, we’re going to do life our way, yep, on our pace, yep, and just do things like that. Because I would love to collect antique books. I would love to do that, but in the back of my mind there’s a voice that says stuff is fleeting. Now there are some antique books that, like, people have given me that I keep. Well, sure, but stuff is fleeting and I’m not going to pour money, a lot of money, into stuff. That is like fleeting. 


0:07:27 – Kayla

We like making memories. 


0:07:29 – Brian

So there’s. I think this is a quote from Dave Ramsey. He says live today like no one else. So you can one day live like no one else. 


0:07:39 – Kayla

Yeah. And I think now we would like to retire one day. We love our ministry, we love what we do, but we don’t want to work full time until the day we drop, God willing. Our goals are to have enough to just live comfortably when that time comes, not to spend every dime that comes in every month. Another goal of ours was to make sure that we capture experiences, not things. Now, don’t get me wrong. We have nice things in our home. We’re not, you know, living with one set of clothes, and you know one book. 


But at the same time we don’t feel the need to. Oh well, this person went here on vacation, so now we have to. Yeah, that doesn’t or they have this kind of house, so now we have to have one. 


Or oh, they’re driving this kind of car. So now we have to. We have never. I mean, it’s just not who we are, and I’m good with that. I’m very comfortable with what B and K want out of life, and it’s worthy to sit down with your partner and say what are our goals, what are our dreams, and then let that drive you, not the latest version of whatever. But Ask yourself what season are we in? I’m just going to be really honest. 


0:08:59 – Brian

Well, spring has just sprung by us, because right now it’s hot. 


0:09:03 – Kayla

We went straight to summer but, I’m referring to a different kind of season. Okay, so right now our home is less than spotless. Our home is great we’re going to talk about that in a little while. Our garden’s kind of disheveled I plan to work on that this weekend, and we have literally not had a meal plan for eight weeks. No joke, give yourself grace for whatever outside factors you are navigating that have you in the season of life that you’re in. Maybe your home isn’t meant to be your priority party. We were working literally 60-hour weeks for six weeks and it was everything we could do to go from start to finish, go home literally wash, rinse, repeat ourselves and the day and today we’re feeling I’m just I mean yeah, we’re, we’re pretty tired but, but in that six the house is still standing. 


And it looks great the garden will get done at some point. 


0:10:02 – Brian

It’s all going to be fine. 


0:10:03 – Kayla

But don’t look around at other people’s day to day and feel like you’ve got to keep up with that. 


0:10:11 – Brian

Well, I’m going to say to this is there are times when you just simply have to focus on the task at hand, yeah, and everything else kind of falls to the side, and then, when you complete that task, everything else can come back into view. So I think that’s a healthy perspective. 


0:10:28 – Kayla

Yeah, it’s called finding balance where you can, and sometimes that’s what it looks like. A couple of quick hit reminders. You were chosen to do that job. You’re not chosen to do what they’re doing. God called you to the specific job he’s gifted you. You were given that child, or those children. 


0:10:48 – Brian

Let’s not waste the energy. They’re your children too. 


0:10:51 – Kayla

Let me just go ahead and say, oh my gosh, I probably shouldn’t have said that. Well, that was a little honest, but you didn’t mention names, so I think we’re good, let’s leave it there. Okay, it’s easy to look at how someone else is raising their children, or the work that you feel someone else is doing that’s more impactful, or that maybe their kids just seem more well-rounded, or it could go on and on and on. Or they seem to have their life together and their kid’s on a schedule and yours isn’t, or it doesn’t matter. That’s not what God’s blessed you with. May we never forget what he’s doing in our lives, rather than setting our sights on someone else’s. 


0:11:36 – Brian

You need to remember and this is something that I struggle with, but I have some stuff in my iPhone notes that remind me of this is that you are made uniquely in the image of Christ yeah, he didn’t make a carbon copy, and so lean into that, lean into the fact that he chose you before the foundation of the world yeah, lean into the fact that you have value yes, that because you are made in his image. And lean into your talents and abilities and what brings joy, and if you do that, that will lead to some contentment and peace. Yeah, don’t try and find that outside of his purpose for you, outside of his why he’s made you. 


0:12:16 – Kayla

Yeah, I have found for myself the more that I lean into who I was created to be in Christ, the less anxiety I have, the more my nervous system settles. The more we are chasing after things that God did not intend for us, the more unsettled we’re going to be, because until we feel right in him, all of those things are just going to wear us out. You were given this one life. Don’t waste it trying to live someone else’s life. 


0:12:52 – Brian

But we get so unsatisfied with where we are. 


0:12:57 – Kayla

And what is it that Barnabas piper taught us? We are unsatisfied unsatisfiable people. 


0:13:01 – Brian

yeah, we are unsatisfiable people. We’re also part of a world economy that generates sales and income. Oh, absolutely, making you unsatisfied with what you have, yep, so that you’ll buy something else? Yeah, I’ll never forget. We spent Christmas with some family one year and they had little ones, and Christmas morning it was a joy. They were just all into it, just all. Well, the next day, December 26th, we all went to the stores and those kids, they just screamed and begged for toys and I’ll never forget that. Their dad said you just got all new toys yesterday and that little one said that was yesterday. I’ve never forgotten that and that’s an indictment of all of our hearts. So, be who you were made to be and lean into who he created you to be. Well, this is going to be fun, as I studied for this. This is him versus her. Can I ask a question? Why did you put him versus her instead of her versus him? 


0:14:14 – Kayla

Well, I don’t know. 


0:14:15 – Brian

Okay, it just kind of sets me up as being the one against you. 


0:14:19 – Kayla

Oh, we’re not against each other, yet, you’ll see. Yet this could end differently. 


0:14:24 – Brian

World War III about to happen, all right. 


0:14:36 – Kayla

One of yet. This could end differently. 


0:14:37 – Brian

World war three about to happen all right, one of us likes details oh my word and one of us drowns in them, maybe? No, I think we have figured out the non-detail person. Yes, I fly at a 30,000-foot view. You fly at a hundred-foot view. 


0:14:45 – Kayla

Now that comp and that’s how we complement each other yes, I literally read emails and give you the highlights. 


0:14:51 – Brian

Oh, if your email is more than five sentences, Brian Sanders is not going to read it. Truth. Okay, you need to encapsulate that. You send me something for paragraph song. 


0:15:01 – Kayla

It’s delete he’s read the first sentence in the last. I hope you got your points across. 


0:15:05 – Brian

Yes, but details you are great with like money. You’re great with like budgeting and that kind of stuff and you’ve begged me not to hand that off to you. I mean, that’s yours Now you’ll want to sit down and go over everything. 


0:15:20 – Kayla

It’s one of my Christmas gifts Once a year you have to. Let me walk through the annual budget with you. 


0:15:24 – Brian

It’s one of my Christmas gifts. 


0:15:26 – Kayla

It is have to let me walk through the annual budget with you. It’s one of my Christmas. It is about 10 years ago remember we made this pact that you have to let me walk through the annual plan, because I want to make sure that it’s yours, not just mine okay me, I take a power nap oh, I nap. Like it’s hibernation season. 


You go down for like two hours I can’t do these little 10-minute naps. I get the worst headache. Yeah, I just can’t. But you can. You’re like a toddler. You can lay down for 10 minutes and then, boing, you are off and running again. 


0:15:58 – Brian

It just amazes me At the same time. Now, if I’m serious about a nap, Now you will go down. But yeah, go down for like five hours but it’s very rare, very rare, yeah. 


0:16:09 – Kayla

One of us starts packing two weeks before a trip. Oh, God. There’s piles and one of us packs the night before or the morning of. 


0:16:17 – Brian

We’re going to Disney in two weeks. There is a section of stuff already on the dining room table and there’s a section of stuff in one of the guest bedrooms. 


0:16:33 – Kayla

Uh-huh already on the dining room table and there’s some section of stuff in one of the guest bedrooms and there’s some section of stuff already on the dresser and the main bedroom maybe we won’t forget anything though well, I don’t understand of what I packed anyway oh, did anybody else feel that comment? 


0:16:41 – Brian

or just me in my head why not just create a list and then, the night before, do all I’m working the list two weeks before. 


0:16:51 – Kayla

Well, some of it’s stuff that I needed to pick up at the store. So anyway, you do. You, I’m good shots fired. He never meets a stranger. Nope, I often wonder are people just getting stranger? 


0:17:08 – Brian

Well, I find people to be an adventure. I find people to be a story that is waiting to be told. Ok, so I love to talk with people because you’ll learn details and it can be a great story, because I’m all about a great story and some people’s story scares me a little bit. You like to enter into a store, to a restaurant, and just uh-huh, be quiet, be all by yourself and you’ve introduced yourself to half the wait staff. 


0:17:39 – Kayla

So, yeah, this is who we are. It’s good. You will have a new friend every time we leave target. 


0:17:45 – Brian

So yeah, well, I just here, we are. Okay, here we are. I can literally not be thinking about anything. I can literally not be thinking about something and I’m thinking about what I’ve forgotten to think about whereas your mind, and that has always plagued you, that you don’t understand, like Bea, what are you thinking about and what will I say? 


0:18:09 – Kayla

Nothing, and you’ve never, and you mean it, nothing. 


0:18:15 – Brian



0:18:15 – Kayla

I’m worried about what I’ve forgotten to think about. 


0:18:18 – Brian

You’ve often said there’s like 19 things. 


0:18:20 – Kayla

Oh, I’m always just. It’s like a computer browser with multiple files open at all times. 


0:18:26 – Brian

And I understand that this could be one of the differences between men and women. 


0:18:29 – Kayla

Absolutely Yep. So all right, we talked about this a minute ago. You are completely unfazed by the state of our home. Okay, which right now? 


0:18:42 – Brian

Okay, we need to clarify this. When she says the state of our home home, she’s going to make it sound like that there’s a pack of monkeys that live there that don’t know how to use the bathroom. It is y’all the state of our home. Okay, it may not be dusted for five days, I don’t care it doesn’t.


0:19:07 – Kayla

Well, right now there’s piles of stuff everywhere, but it’s purposeful. But there’s dust, there’s who. I am phased by how unfazed you are. So, yeah, say that again. I am what. I am phased by how unfazed you are. It doesn’t bother me, but I should be thankful. Phased by how unfazed you are, but I should be thankful. I mean, there are probably some partnerships where it’s like you need to get this done, and I’ve had friends before whose spouses are very specific. 


0:19:35 – Brian

You will actually come to me and say B, I apologize for the state of this. Yeah, why are you? I’m happy as a clam. 


0:19:43 – Kayla

I just feel guilty, but yeah, okay, I’m working on it. So, to make sure this does not seem adversarial, this is us. We are planners. 


0:19:54 – Brian

Oh, we ain’t going nowhere. Where are we? 


0:19:55 – Kayla

going? Will there be food, will we get a nap and what will we do? 


0:19:59 – Brian

Where are we going to fill up at? Who are we meeting with? Where are we going? Yeah, I need to research the restaurants where we’re going to. 


0:20:06 – Kayla

We are both that way, and it’s what makes traveling together so amazing, because we both have the same questions and the same thought processes. 


0:20:16 – Brian

And if we’re going through a new airport, I will look it up.


0:20:18 – Kayla

Yeah, we’ll watch a video about it we will? 


0:20:21 – Brian

Yeah, well, certainly, I mean, that’s just who we are. 


0:20:31 – Kayla

Also, there is nobody else we’d rather spend the day with. We have often been teased for this. Like yeah, like, why do y’all spend so much time together? Because we actually like each other we like to talk. 


0:20:41 – Brian

Sometimes we’ll talk about you. 


0:20:48 – Kayla

This is one thing that I have really come to adopt, though. Our relationship isn’t their relationship, and it does not mean that either of us is wrong. 


0:20:59 – Brian

No, I guess not. 


0:21:00 – Kayla

We don’t get to decide what is best for any other couple or any other family, and that’s where back to our conversation about comparison. The only time that anyone should be concerned about what’s going on in another relationship is if you sense that there is some kind of abuse or domination or something that lends to yeah, otherwise it is really none of your business how they choose to if you see them buying fish sticks at the grocery store, that’s none of your business. 


But if they’re buying fish sticks for somebody they’re not married to, that’s your business oh well, I wasn’t sure where you were going with that, but okay, and fish sticks really well, I’m just saying For the record, we do not eat those. But anyway, here we are. I’m open to them. No, we’re good. So this is us, okay, and it’s a combination of things that complement each other and things that draw us together. 


0:22:03 – Brian

Hey, thanks for listening to this week’s edition of the piece. 


0:22:05 – Kayla

If you need me, I’m going to be off packing for our trip. 


0:22:08 – Brian

Y’all, you’ve been packing for three weeks. I won’t forget anything. Anyway, thanks for listening to this week’s edition of the Peas and Carrots Podcast, and we’d like to send you a coffee mug and a pack of the cute little stickers, okay, and you can win a Peas and Carrots coffee mug and a pack of the cute little stickers. Okay, and you can win a peas and carrots coffee mug and a pack of stickers. 


0:22:31 – Kayla

Go to our website, which is Look for the trivia button. 


0:22:37 – Brian

If you’ll click that trivia button at, Our question this week is what are you excited about as we head into summer? 


0:22:46 – Kayla

Yeah, we want to know what your plans are. What are you excited about, as we? 


0:22:47 – Brian

head into summer. Yeah, we want to know what your plans are. What are you doing? What are you excited about as we head into summer? And you can answer that question when a coffee mug and a pack of stickers All you do is. 


0:22:56 – Kayla

Go to our website Also search Peas and Carrots Podcast. Wherever you get your podcasts or visit our website. 


0:23:05 – Brian 


0:23:06 – Kayla

When you do, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast. 


0:23:10 – Brian

You can also search Peas and Carrots wherever you get your podcast, and you can also follow us on Facebook and Instagram, all right.


0:23:23 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit Life’s not perfect. That’s why God gave us friends like Melody and Candi. Check out, or search Quirks, Bumps, and Bruises wherever you listen to podcasts.