Season 3, Episode 12: Can We Talk?

Can We Talk?
Can We Talk? - Episode Description

Join us on a heartfelt journey through the ups and downs of self-improvement and relationship building. Listen in as we laugh about the aches and triumphs of our gym escapades, including the notorious “cheeks to sneaks” challenge, and share a personal triumph as our Christmas tree finally gets packed away. But it’s not all fun and games; we get real about the necessity of engaging in tough conversations for leadership and personal growth. Hear about our commitment to candor in our lives and how these essential, yet often uncomfortable, discussions keep our relationships thriving.

In our latest chat, we reflect on the 31-year adventure of our relationship, weaving through the lessons of love and the evolution of our financial journey together. We explore the art of nurturing a lasting bond, emphasizing the role of trust, kindness, and the power of prayer before entering difficult dialogues. Plus, don’t miss the anticipation as we usher in the spring season, sharing our excitement for warmer days and inviting you to participate in our podcast giveaway. Tune in for these stories and more, wrapped up in the warmth of our shared experiences and laughter.

Can We Talk? - Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 

 

0:00:11 – Brian

Welcome to the Peas and Carrots Podcast. Hi, I’m Brian. 

 

0:00:15 – Kayla

I’m Kayla, I may not have known you started the microphones on or anything. I don’t know what day is this. Microphones on or anything, I don’t know what day is this? 

 

0:00:30 – Brian

Let’s just, I want to start here, I just want to start here. Oh, my goodness, the trainer at our gym has you doing something new? 

 

0:00:39 – Kayla

It’s not new, I’ve done it before, but admittedly I have not done it for a while. 

 

0:00:44 – Brian

And tell them what this is called. 

 

0:00:46 – Kayla

It’s called a squat. It has a technical name, but you’re basically no. What’s he call it? Well, he calls it cheeks to sneaks. So basically I have to bend down and my behind has to touch the back of my shoes. I can hardly walk today. 

 

0:01:04 – Brian

Cheeks to sneaks. 

 

0:01:08 – Kayla

So he had you do this Tuesday, Wednesday 20 of them times I could only do three. Admittedly, I could only do three rounds. But he did 60 cheeks to sneaks and last night I could not sit in the bathtub. 

 

0:01:21 – Brian

When she got up, it’s like she needed a walker, and you can use your own imagination. 

 

0:01:33 – Kayla

Sitting down is precarious in all circumstances, so you’re talking about using the bathroom a little bit, but yeah, so I went to the gym this morning. 

 

0:01:38 – Brian

Did you do any cheeks to sneaks I? 

 

0:01:40 – Kayla

did not. 

 

0:01:41 – Brian

Not today. 

 

0:01:41 – Kayla

No, today was riding five miles on the bike, wow. So tomorrow I’m going to need a walker. That’s where we are. You’re doing some amazing stuff at the gym, though, too, and yes, we signed on for this. 

 

0:02:02 – Brian

Nobody’s forcing us. We pay these people to do this to us. I don’t understand that. 

 

0:02:06 – Kayla

But okay, in all seriousness, what did we admit Tuesday night? 

 

0:02:12 – Brian

I was deathly tired and needed a piece of cake. 

 

0:02:17 – Kayla

We admitted that it’s good for us and that we are thankful for the people there. 

 

0:02:22 – Brian

That was a weak moment in my life. 

 

0:02:23 – Kayla

Okay, all right it does, it makes a weak moment in my life. 

 

0:02:25 – Brian

Okay, all right, it does. It makes a difference. I feel better, I’ve lost weight. 

 

0:02:30 – Kayla

We’re healthier physically, mentally, yeah, yeah, it’s good stuff, so but we’re also very sore. 

 

0:02:36 – Brian

Yes, killing us. 

 

0:02:38 – Kayla

Breaking news for those two people that are keeping score our Christmas tree is down. 

 

0:02:46 – Brian

It only took. 

 

0:02:48 – Kayla

Listen, it normally stays up until your birthday, which is what date? 

 

0:02:53 – Brian

I like having it up, I mean March 15th. 

 

0:02:55 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:02:56 – Brian

Are you trying to test my memory, if I remember stuff? 

 

0:02:58 – Kayla

I’m trying to see if you’re listening what you look a little zoned out. 

 

0:03:02 – Brian

That is not fair. 

 

0:03:03 – Kayla

This came from the person who didn’t know. You turned the microphones on. 

 

0:03:07 – Brian

This is my life, y’all. 

 

0:03:09 – Kayla

But seriously, I do want to say thank you to the friends who encouraged me to turn it into an Easter tree and then a spring tree and then a 4th of July tree. But it was time, it just felt time to tuck it away. 

 

0:03:21 – Brian

And now the den it looks huge, it looks massive. 

 

0:03:26 – Kayla

Yeah, I’m like, wow, we have all this space. 

 

0:03:27 – Brian

I’m happy to see that right corner of the tv again. I know you are. 

 

0:03:31 – Kayla

You’re very welcome so y’all. 

 

0:03:34 – Brian

Just I felt that comment. There you go, we’ve become those people. Uh-huh, we don’t start a movie after about 7, 30 or so seven is Because we’re typically asleep by 9. 

 

0:03:48 – Kayla

So if it’s a two-hour movie, we need to be starting it by 7 pm. The other night we went to bed at 7.45. And I am not sorry for it. I feel guilty. I don’t care. They don’t bother you. We get to make the rules. Oh, but we were awake at like three the next morning, so that’s probably not the greatest idea. 

 

0:04:07 – Brian

But there’s one more late breaking development I want to add to this. Ok, one of the engineers in PAR, his name is Alan. 

 

0:04:16 – Kayla

He’s bought us a popcorn machine. Now, when she says popcorn machine, we’re not talking about an air popper, no, we’re talking like one, you would go to the movie theater for, yeah, it is so cool. 

 

0:04:28 – Brian

And we just had our first bag of popcorn. 

 

0:04:30 – Kayla

We did so. Thank you, Alan. Thank you, it was very, very sweet, yeah, this is. The whole building smells like popcorn today. 

 

0:04:37 – Brian

I love popcorn, do you? 

 

0:04:38 – Kayla

I do. 

 

0:04:39 – Brian

Oh. 

 

0:04:45 – Kayla

Probably not trainer approved, but here we are. You don’t listen to them. I’ll put in another round next week. So we always say that a lot of what we talk about comes from real life, and I get that we’re probably for those of you who’ve been hanging with us for a while, we are probably revisiting some topics, and I think that’s okay, because as humans, we are ever growing, hopefully, and we start to see things differently as we experience things. And for us, we are both serving roles that require what we are going to talk about here, which is Healthy hard conversations. 

 

Yeah. 

 

0:05:27 – Brian

I’m a big believer in what’s called candor. I learned that from Jack Welch, yeah. Then Brene Brown followed that up with her book Dare to Lead, and she talks about rumbles. There’s also another book by Kim Scott that talks about candor a lot. So I’m a big believer in it. But candor doesn’t always mean hard conversations. But if you’re going to lead, if you’re going to invest in people, if you’re going to live life, you’re going to have to have some hard conversations. 

 

0:05:59 – Kayla

If you want to have a functioning relationship. Yeah, Because I mean a functioning relationship. Yeah, Because I mean it’s interesting to me the people that are conflict averse. They equate hard conversations with conflict and maybe they will lead to some conflict, but if they’re done right, that’s not always the case, and so this is kind of a rule for me. I have learned as a leader and even as a spouse and even as a friend it’s better to have a hard conversation early than to let a situation or an issue fester, Because the other side of this is nobody deserves to be blindsided by something that’s apparently been an issue for a long time, but bam, all of a sudden it’s being addressed. It’s like annual reviews. 

 

0:06:51 – Brian

I’m not a fan. Yeah, we do not do annual reviews either. You need to be having ongoing conversation. Yeah, and if you have ongoing conversations, you won’t have to have as many hard conversations. 

 

0:07:03 – Kayla

And you build trust. 

 

0:07:04 – Brian

Correct. 

 

0:07:04 – Kayla

During the regular day-to-day talking life with other people. So I think there’s this part of Brene Brown’s book where she talks about the marble jar. You remember that she talks about the marble jar and she talks about how, hopefully, you’re filling the jar with marbles. Well, there will come a point where you might have to take a marble or two out because of something that either there’s a felt lack of trust or there’s a there’s a change, and a hard conversation could possibly be perceived as one of those times. If you filled the jar full enough, it’s not going to be as hard to lose a marble here or there. 

 

0:07:48 – Brian

And I think what Ms. Kayla is referring to, as is Brene Brown, is that’s trust. You got to keep building trust, yeah, you got to keep building trust, yep, so that when those hard conversations come, you can actually take some of that out and use it to have a hard conversation In a healthy way. Yes, Now, within a lot of Christian circles let me just say this in a lot of Christian circles and some secular, it’s not considered Christian or nice to have hard conversations. 

 

0:08:17 – Kayla

But even Jesus did that. He modeled it for us in the Bible. 

 

0:08:21 – Brian

Yes, and let me say this the only way the gospel can be good news is if there’s bad news, that’s right. So you have to understand the bad news, which is we are sinners, we are separated from God. We were born this way. We are bent away from him, we are selfish, we want our own desires, and then Jesus comes to rescue us because we can’t earn our way to God. There’s no way. So he comes. The bad news is you can’t get there on your own. The bad news is you are condemned. 

 

0:08:51 – Kayla

What is the good news? The good news is grace. Yes, he came, so you’ve got to have that hard conversation in order to get to the good stuff? Amen. Why do we, as humans, struggle to have hard conversations? What are some of the things that you and I have observed? 

 

0:09:09 – Brian

We don’t want to hurt people’s feelings. 

 

0:09:11 – Kayla

We don’t want them to not like us. 

 

0:09:19 – Brian

For me. I don’t want to be rejected or I don’t want to be not accepted. I don’t want to be unlovable or seen as unlovable. 

 

0:09:23 – Kayla

We don’t want to have the conversation used against us later on, huh I never thought about that. 

 

0:09:29 – Brian

That’s how selfish I am. 

 

0:09:31 – Kayla

I’ve never thought I’ve we we’re averse to conflict. We talked about that a minute ago. Maybe we don’t want to have that hard conversation because we don’t want to. What’s the expression? Upset the apple cart. We don’t want to have drama or we don’t want to have someone who’s not happy. 

 

0:09:50 – Brian

Some people will say well, you know you should avoid that, because a fruit of the spirit is peace. Well, you might need to have a hard conversation so you can get to peace. 

 

0:10:00 – Kayla

But if you’re living in a toxic space where both people are just practicing like silent anger or passive aggressiveness, is that really peace? Because when you don’t have hard conversations that’s sometimes what it looks like is, well, I’m just going to sit over here and ice you out, or I’m going to pout, or I’m going to sit here and just stew over what happened, whereas a 10-minute conversation, it gives you the opportunity to practice kindness in choosing your words. You can practice forgiveness if you’re the one that’s having to receive the hard words. There’s just there’s so many layers to it. But I’m not a fan and this is from being married to you for 31 years, because I’ll be the first to admit you know this. 

 

When we first married, I did not do hard conversations. I would clam up anytime you tried to have a conversation with me and you finally said we got to about our third year of marriage and you said there is something you have to do for me. You have to stop putting up a wall when we need to have a conversation about something, and so I committed to that. It was hard, still is sometimes. 

 

0:11:22 – Brian

Yes. 

 

0:11:22 – Kayla

Especially when I think I’m right and I don’t want to hear it, which you normally are right. 

 

0:11:28 – Brian

Let’s just go on the record and say that. 

 

0:11:30 – Kayla

So what are we really saying to the other person when we lean into a hard conversation? 

 

0:11:35 – Brian

I think I’m saying to them I love you, I care about you, I care about you. I care about this relationship. 

 

0:11:40 – Kayla

Yes. 

 

0:11:41 – Brian

Yeah, let me say this we’re not saying that a hard conversation is you can be a jerk Not at all. That’s not what we’re saying. What we’re saying is that you have to be kind and clear, caring. You don’t have to raise your voice, you don’t go after the person. 

 

0:11:59 – Kayla

Oh, you go after the issue Go after the issue yes, and if the person is the issue, then find kind ways to express that issue. You don’t have to tear them down in the process, Because you and I have both we’ve been on the receiving end of that before and nothing good comes from that. But and I’m sure that we’ve not perfectly executed our conversations with others but but what is it that we want to say when we’re having a hard conversation to that person? 

 

0:12:31 – Brian

That I want to address this issue so I can save the relationship. 

 

0:12:36 – Kayla

Yes. 

 

0:12:36 – Brian

Or I want to address this issue so I can make the relationship better, I can make things better between us, I can make the process better. Yeah, that’s what I’m trying to do, and it’s to either restore something or improve something. Yes. 

 

0:12:52 – Kayla

That’s got to be the goal of it, and it’s to communicate. I love you enough, whoever this person is, I love you enough, whoever this person is, I love you enough. I value you that I’m not just going to write you off. We’re going to work through this. 

 

0:13:06 – Brian

I would say if you can use some humor, yeah, but get to the point. And let me say this: Please don’t talk in riddles, oh no, get to the point, be honest. 

 

0:13:18 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:13:18 – Brian

And be clear and communicate that you love that person. 

 

0:13:23 – Kayla

There’s another tenant to this that I always practice when I’m having a really hard conversation with someone. 

 

If it hits a point in the conversation, perhaps we’ve had to rumble a little bit and it’s gotten a little uncomfortable, perhaps we’ve had to rumble a little bit and it’s gotten a little uncomfortable, or maybe the person or myself is feeling kind of threatened. Then what I will do is I will say we’re going to pause this, but we’re going to come back to this at this time and I will commit to coming back to it, hopefully that day. If it’s a situation where I know, okay, we’re going to pause this, we’re going to go get done what we need to get done, but then we’re going to come back together and we’re going to revisit this. It may look like you need to give the person a couple of days if it was a really contentious conversation, but it has to be something that when you start you’re committed to finishing it, that you’re not just going to get halfway and go okay, we’ll find we’ll walk away from this, because then nothing’s been accomplished. 

 

0:14:27 – Brian

You need to get to where what I call tie the shoe, because there’s nothing worse than walk around with your shoes untied. You could trip over it. That’s like an unfinished conversation. You need to be able to finish it. Land the plane Now. Y’all may not end up agreeing okay, but you’ll need to find a framework in which you can move forward together. 

 

0:14:48 – Kayla

With mutual respect. 

 

0:14:49 – Brian

Yes. 

 

0:14:49 – Kayla

Yeah, that’s the end game. 

 

0:14:51 – Brian

Yeah Well, do these conversations ever get easier? Meh Well, do these conversations ever get easier? Let me say this it’s according as to the size of the issue. 

 

0:15:04 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:15:05 – Brian

As to the seriousness of the issue. Some of those conversations, they flow well. Some conversations are not going to flow so well because people can feel attacked, they can feel that you are coming against them personally, and I would just make that clear up front. This is not about you personally. Yeah, this is about what this is happening over here. 

 

0:15:28 – Kayla

They hopefully get easier in one respect. That is, that the more you embrace them, the less terrified you are of having a hard conversation and the less of your own value you tie to them, and what I mean by that is the more we are willing to say. Let’s sit in this space together and let’s talk this out. You’re not fretting over the fact that, ok, if I do this, this person’s going to hate me for the rest of my life, because, truthfully, that’s a whole nother topic for another day. 

 

0:16:05 – Brian

Hard conversations will make you and your relationships better. Yeah, know that, but you have to build the trust with the person before you can have them and you cannot let emotion rule the day. Exactly. So just know that Now, as Miss Kayla said, we have not perfected this. 

 

0:16:23 – Kayla

No, I bumble them. From time to time I have to go back and say can we revisit this or can I clarify that, or is there anything that you would want to say? And that’s the other part of this is the conversation has to be two-sided. A hard conversation is not just something that you like pour out, it’s something that you have to let filter in as well. So anytime a hard conversation is entered into, it’s got to be two-way. It’s got to be listening as well as speaking. 

 

0:16:54 – Brian

If it’s not, you’re just wasting your time. That’s right. So be brave, but also be kind. 

 

0:17:00 – Kayla

Yes. 

 

0:17:01 – Brian

Have those conversations. 

 

0:17:02 – Kayla

And the last thing I would say is this sounds trite to some people, but before you go into any hard conversation, pray. And ask the spirit to give you the right things to say. Sometimes he will literally put a guard over your mouth to keep you from saying things. 

 

0:17:20 – Brian

Well, I’m pretty strong. I’ve beaten that guard down a few times, but you’re exactly right. You’re 100% right. 

 

0:17:28 – Kayla

But you can do this, yes. 

 

0:17:33 – Brian

Living the dream baby. 

 

0:17:35 – Kayla

We were and we are. Oh baby, we were and we are, oh yeah. Okay, there’s just a few things that we were thinking through our last. I mean almost 31 years now. 

 

0:17:45 – Brian

I’m getting old. 

 

0:17:47 – Kayla

I mean we’ve known each other almost 32 years. Oh my gosh, here we are and here you’ve stuck with me. So there’s just a few things that you know as you think back over your time with someone. I’m going to say with your person, because for us that’s each other. Our financial status, for example, it has changed in the last 31-ish years, but our values toward each other have not. My dad always said money’s gained and lost every single day. You can always make more money, but the most precious commodity we have is each other. 

 

0:18:24 – Brian

That’s exactly right To the point that I’ve tried to embrace. This is that I can replace stuff. I can always earn more money. Yeah, I can’t replace you, yep. So as we look back over these 31 years, you know taking care of you has been my greatest delight, that’s very sweet, because jobs come and go. Why are you being so nice today? 

 

0:18:49 – Kayla

I had popcorn. 

 

0:18:53 – Brian

I set you up for a great sentimental moment. I had popcorn. She’s so proud of herself right now. What I was going to say. What I was going to say is we have worked so hard to get certain things and I look back and it isn’t the thing that made the memory. It’s working with you. 

 

0:19:19 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:19:20 – Brian

It was through the struggle, it was doing those things together. 

 

0:19:23 – Kayla

The things pale in comparison. Yes, yeah. 

 

0:19:27 – Brian

I would also say this looking back, you aren’t meant to have it all immediately. 

 

0:19:32 – Kayla

No. 

 

0:19:33 – Brian

And maybe you never should. So there’s two things here. One you aren’t meant to have it all to me. You should have to work hard, you should have to learn some lessons, you should have to. 

 

0:19:43 – Kayla

And lean into each other. For that. 

 

0:19:45 – Brian

At the same time, there might be some things that you’ll never have enough money for, Like I’ll never have enough money to buy an autographed letter by Abraham Lincoln no-transcript. 

 

0:20:05 – Kayla

But in all seriousness, we could have spent the entire last 31 years chasing after all the things. When do you get to enjoy what you already have, if that’s your mindset? 

 

0:20:19 – Brian

I enjoy. This is going to sound really stupid. I enjoy a simple life. When we leave here every day from the offices we go home, I’m going to be serious. We do not live a big, exciting life. I mean being serious.

 

0:20:31 – Kayla

And most people don’t. 

 

0:20:32 – Brian

Most people don’t. I mean, we go home and I’ll plop down and I’ll watch the news for a little while. 

 

0:20:38 – Kayla

I’ll cook dinner. 

 

0:20:40 – Brian

We’ll cook dinner We’ll watch an episode of West Wing or something. 

 

0:20:45 – Kayla

Or read. Some nights the TV doesn’t even go on. 

 

0:20:51 – Brian

I’m usually asleep in the recliner by about 815. But that’s our simple life, and if there’s a topic we need to talk about, we’ll do it. 

 

0:20:59 – Kayla

But for me, here’s what I’ll say this might sound ooey and gooey, but living the dream for me has been doing all these moments with you. Yeah, it’s in the mundane that a life is built, so to build on that, we started out together with a gifted couch, a gifted chair and a gifted bed. And what we can tell you now, 31 years in, is memories aren’t made around the stuff. It’s made around the day-to-day. The memories we have are about us. We can’t tell you what we were wearing when those memories were made. 

 

0:21:38 – Brian

It’s about the doing, it’s about the living, it’s about the decisions. It’s about being there together, facing the hardships. 

 

0:21:45 – Kayla

It’s about the shared experiences, not the stuff. It’s not the life you build with stuff, it’s the life you build with each other. And so, yeah, Friday night, date night. It always has been and it always will be. 

 

0:22:00 – Brian

We lived in New Orleans, we’d go to Texas Steakhouse Roadhouse, something. 

 

0:22:06 – Kayla

Texas Steakhouse. I think Texas Steakhouse we’d go to and we’d get a little meal yeah, and we’d go to a little. 

 

0:22:12 – Brian

I think we went to Walmart probably and then we’d come home. That was our date night and very, very rarely. 

 

0:22:20 – Kayla

If we had been gifted some money, we would do our bi-weekly dinner. We could not afford to go out every Friday night. We would go out every other Friday night and then we would go to a movie if we had been gifted some money. Otherwise it was game nights or watching a show or a movie at home. And yeah, I mean it was a very date nights now are. 

 

0:22:48 – Brian

we’ll go out to dinner and we might hit up a bookstore or go to Target or something. 

 

0:22:55 – Kayla

Come home, we’ll watch or we might go to a movie in the afternoon. Yeah, if we have a Friday afternoon. Sometimes we’ll go to a movie, but yeah, but it’s about the carving out space for each other. 

 

0:23:11 – Brian

I’m gonna say something here you have to enjoy the person before you enjoy the experience, because you need to be more in love with who you’re spending time with than being in love with what you’re trying to do, because that’s not where life is built. Yeah, so that was pretty good. You is smart. Stop. You need to carve out some sacred time for each other. Now. We spend a great deal of time together, so that’s not an issue for us, but now Friday nights are a sacred time for us. Yeah. 

 

0:23:47 – Kayla

There’s some eye rolling happening right now. I feel it. There’s some really, but you’re not chasing kids around and you’re not doing this and you’re not doing that. I get that, I do, but there were many years and there are many seasons where we are very, very busy, and yet it’s what we’ve prioritized. We have made sure that Friday night is sacred. We have often said no to things. 

 

Because that’s date night Because it’s date night and it’s not because we don’t love other people. It’s because we love each other. And there’s value in figuring out. How do you make this almost a habit at first and then it becomes something that you hate to miss it. 

 

0:24:34 – Brian

There’s a lot of truth to the statement that marriages work. Yeah, it’s a choice to love that person more than yourself, to lay down your own selfishness, to prioritize them over all the world’s demands, to place boundaries with others who don’t honor what you have. You’ve got to do that. So marriage is work. It doesn’t come easy. 

 

0:24:54 – Kayla

No. 

 

0:24:54 – Brian

But if you put the work in you know relationship does find a rhythm that works and brings joy. 

 

0:25:01 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

So, and it really is. It is a daily dying to yourself because I love me, some me. But if you love that person, you want what they want. If you love that person, then you are willing to prioritize their needs over your own and that becomes almost second nature in some ways. There are things that it’s just if you’re happy, I’m happy, and when you get to that place it doesn’t feel like as much work. I’m speaking to those of you who are fresh into marriage or fresh into a relationship. Yeah, it’s going to take some work and sometimes you’re going to feel like you’re giving a whole lot more than you’re getting. 

 

0:25:51 – Brian

But the end result is that if you really love that person and you want what’s best for them, then you’re not worried about what you get out of it, exactly right, and you’re going to make them a priority and you’re going to push some other things out of the way so you can spend time with that person. 

 

0:26:09 – Kayla

I think the last one we would share is dream together. 

 

0:26:14 – Brian

Dream on, dream on. Oh dear, just saying. 

 

0:26:26 – Kayla

And we’ve always made time for dreaming like places we want to go, things we want to accomplish and then chase as many of those dreams as you can. 

 

0:26:32 – Brian

Yes, miss Kayla has a dream of when we retire at some point we will have two labs, and she has a vision that one will be hers, one will be mine. I want to tell you right now they’ll both be hers. Okay, they will both be hers. 

 

0:26:44 – Kayla

Man. 

 

0:26:44 – Brian

I’ll let you pet them, but you need to figure out what you share in common as a dream and then go for it yeah. And yeah, you’re going to be afraid, yeah, things are going to go haywire, but keep pushing after it and that dream will actually draw you closer together. 

 

0:27:00 – Kayla

Yeah, and some of you are sitting there going. Well, that’s kind of contradictory to what you just said five minutes ago about keeping it simple. 

 

0:27:07 – Brian

Honey, we’re all full of contradictions. 

 

0:27:09 – Kayla

But the truth is it’s okay to have things that you aspire to, it’s okay to have trips that you want to take and memories are made on those trips, and it’s okay to have things that you want to enjoy in your journey. Don’t be ruled by them is what we were saying. But yeah, we have a dream to one day have a place on a lake, have two labs brother, sister maybe, I don’t know. 

 

0:27:38 – Brian

One of the rooms has to be a library. Yes, like to have a dark paneled room with a library that has a couple of leather chairs, some lamps that’s just a dream, but that’s something we look forward to down the road. 

 

0:27:50 – Kayla

Yeah, again, our whole point in sharing all this is where did you come from and where are you going? And, as we’re looking forward to our 32nd year, there’s just so much more to look forward to, and we hope that for all of you, yes, in your relationships. 

 

0:28:10 – Brian

Take the time to make it a priority. Yeah, say that. Hey, thanks for listening. We appreciate you tuning in this week. Share this episode with a friend or two. We’d appreciate that. 

 

0:28:20 – Kayla

Anybody want to get mugged? 

 

0:28:22 – Brian

No. Not that kind of mug? Oh, coffee mug, that kind of mug, yes, first of mug, oh, coffee mug, that kind of mug, yes. First of all, our friend Michelle won a coffee mug and a pack of stickers. And thank you, Michelle, from South Carolina, for listening. Yeah, but hey, you can win a coffee mug and a pack of stickers. All you have to do go to our website. 

 

0:28:44 – Kayla

Yep, it’s the peasandcarrotspodcast.com. If you’ll there, click the trivia button and then we always have like a random question. 

 

0:28:53 – Brian

This week’s question is what are you looking forward to this month? 

 

0:28:57 – Kayla

It’s getting a little warmer Spring is coming. I promise it’s coming. 

 

0:29:02 – Brian

Snowed here today. 

 

0:29:03 – Kayla

I know? Well, actually it snowed, then it sleeted, then the sunshine, then it snowed, then it sleeted, then the sunshine, then it snowed again, then it sleeted, and now it looks like I don’t know what it’s going to do. South Florida, yeah. 

 

0:29:13 – Brian

So, hey, you can win yourself a coffee mug and a pack of stickers. You go to peasandcarrotspodcast.com, you click the trivia button and when you get there, you answer this question. 

 

0:29:22 – Kayla

What are you looking forward to this month? You can search the Search the Peas and Carrots Podcast wherever you get your podcasts, or visit our website. Again, that’s peasandcarrotspodcast.com. When you do, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast. 

 

0:29:35 – Brian

Also find us on Facebook and Instagram, Just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast. 

 

0:29:40 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Growing through the challenges we face and finding hope along the way. That’s the Jesus Fix It Podcast with Jess. Check out jesusfixit.com or search Jesus Fix It wherever you listen to podcasts.

 

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Season 3, Episode 11: Progress Over Perfection

Progress Over Perfection
Progress Over Perfection - Episode Description
Our studio is bursting with quirks and chuckles, and we, Brian and Kayla, can’t wait to bring you into the fold. Picture this: a Christmas tree and an Easter rabbit in a humorous standoff, a Star Wars pen collection growing faster than the Millennium Falcon can make the Kessel Run, and us – the couple who opts for a single entrée to avoid dozing off at the dinner table. But it’s not all giggles and themed mugs; we’re baring our souls too. Sit with us as we navigate the winding roads of healing and growth that follow life’s setbacks, drawing powerful parallels between bouncing back from personal struggles and recovering from major surgery. It’s an intimate look at how embracing change makes us tougher, wiser, and ready for the next chapter.
Then, buckle up for both laughter and learnings as we recount travel tales that veer off the beaten path. You’ll get our top tips to keep your travels smooth, including the lifesaving power of snacks and the art of staying zen amidst chaos. Stories of our own misadventures, like a treacherous hike at Nakalula Falls and a dental fiasco in Greece, will remind you to pack flexibility alongside your sense of humor. Share a laugh with us and pick up some travel wisdom that might just save your next vacation from going awry. And who knows? Your own travel tip could land you a cozy spot on our show – plus, some Peas and Carrots swag to boot.
Progress Over Perfection - Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 

 

0:00:11 – Brian

Welcome to the Peas and Carrots Podcast. I’m Kayla and I’m Brian. Hello to this week’s vegetable patch edition. Mm-hmm. And we’re surrounded now by like new critters. 

 

0:00:24 – Kayla

We are and we were gifted a mug, a new critters we are. And we were gifted a mug, a new mug. 

 

0:00:28 – Brian

Yeah, like a camp style mug. 

 

0:00:31 – Kayla

It’s very cute. 

 

0:00:32 – Brian

From Joy FM, one of the PAR radio stations. They did a Peas and Carrots edition mug. 

 

0:00:39 – Kayla

And we have these new mic flags. What in the world does that mean? 

 

0:00:43 – Brian

These go on the end of the microphone so that when we do pictures or video or something like that, you’ll see the logo. 

 

0:00:51 – Kayla

I see a little pea and a carrot looking at me, so it’s very cute. 

 

0:00:55 – Brian

Very, what Cute. You love cute stuff, don’t you? I do. 

 

0:00:58 – Kayla

So for those keeping score, our Christmas tree did not come down. I’m okay with that well, it was a very cold and dreary week so it kind of worked out it was a dark and stormy night. 

 

It worked out in our favor, but we ended up. We had a very busy weekend last weekend and we were traveling for the first half of the week, so I just never got to it. And and now the Easter rabbit is staring at the tree. So I think we have a showdown. Coming Easter rabbit. I have this stuffed. Well, it’s not really stuffed. 

 

0:01:34 – Brian

I’ve always called him the Easter bunny. 

 

0:01:36 – Kayla

Well, he’s a rabbit, the one I’m talking about. It’s the one that I got before Pier 1 closed. 

 

0:01:42 – Brian

He sits on the I know what he’s talking about before Pier 1 closed. 

 

0:01:45 – Kayla

He sits on the. I know what you’re talking about. He’s got attitude, he’s so cute, but he’s staring at the tree. So yeah, anyway, easter and Christmas are colliding at our house. This is where we are. We’re just a hot mess. You have a new obsession. 

 

0:01:57 – Brian

I do. 

 

0:01:59 – Kayla

It’s fun. 

 

0:01:59 – Brian

It is. My executive assistant, Adam, got me a Darth Vader pin for Christmas, and, as you know, I’m a Star Wars fan, so he told me where he got it from. So now I have a Kylo Ren pin, an R2-D2 pin as well, and there’s a Yoda one as well, so I’m probably going to order that one soon as well. Hilarious, they write so well, do they? Yeah, they write well, so I’m probably going to order that one soon as well. Hilarious they write so well do they, yeah, they write well. 

 

0:02:28 – Kayla

B. 

 

0:02:29 – Brian

Yes. 

 

0:02:30 – Kayla

We have become that couple. 

 

0:02:32 – Brian

In what way? 

 

0:02:34 – Kayla

What do we do when we go to a restaurant, we now share one entree. 

 

0:02:37 – Brian

Yes, we most certainly do. I’m not ashamed of it. And if it’s dinner, we definitely do, because we can’t go to bed on a full stomach, no, and we go to bed so early now that yeah, I went to bed at 7:45 last night and I fell asleep, napped for an hour and a half in the chair, hour and a half before that. 

 

0:02:55 – Kayla

So yeah, again, it’s been a busy week, but we are those people. We used to make fun of those people. 

 

0:03:01 – Brian

You know that right, yes, so here we are, the knw cafeteria. So yeah, I mean I don’t. This is like I’m not ashamed. I don’t know about y’all, but I’m not ashamed. I thought I had healed from that. I thought I was over it yeah, yeah, oh. 

 

0:03:23 – Kayla

I recently found myself dealing with a situation that just shook me. It left me questioning so many things and it was a trigger and I know everyone throws that word around but I found myself in a situation that just upended me. And yet here was my takeaway my initial reaction was not the greatest, but I found myself processing and responding, ultimately, in healthier ways than my old self would have. I got there a lot faster than I used to, so there were a few things that I realized, and you and I started talking about this because we’ve both had some hard situations lately. And do you ever feel like you kind of want to climb out of your own skin and just observe and watch how you’re doing with certain things? 

 

0:04:19 – Brian

If it helped me lose weight. 

 

0:04:20 – Kayla

I’d do that. 

 

0:04:22 – Brian

Go ahead. 

 

0:04:24 – Kayla

But the first thing that I realized is healing is not linear. It’s natural to experience setbacks up and down and it’s a choice to just not go back to the old ways or to default to the negative thinking. But yes, it is very it’s like up, down down two steps forward, one steps back. So that’s the first thing I realized. 

 

0:04:50 – Brian

What I liken that to is that consider having major surgery, that you have some major surgery for something and yet the doctor says you will recover, yeah, okay. Well, whenever I hear recover, I’m thinking I’m going to feel exactly the way before. I ever had this problem. Well, that may not be the case, because you may leave with a limp, you can still walk, you can still do it, and the healing works. Or you may need some rehab, or just some rehab, yeah, but you may not return to your former self. But you’re able to move forward. And in that example, what I like to think is that you probably leave tougher. Yeah, you probably leave wiser. 

 

0:05:35 – Kayla

Because you have to be a little bit scrappy in the recovery.

 

0:05:39 – Brian

Yeah, so for me in that is, we have this false thing that because I’ve been through this, okay, I want to go back to what life was like before that happened. You’re not going to be able to go through that at all. Okay, for example, whenever my dad died, whenever your dad died, you can’t go back to life before that happened. You can’t have that kind of peace again, but you can have a new life. 

 

0:06:09 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:06:11 – Brian

And a life will actually grow up around that grief. That’s just an example. I’m using. 

 

0:06:16 – Kayla

That’s good. I’ve also been reminded that I’m not responsible all the time for what happens, because there are things outside of our control, but I am responsible for how I react in those situations. That is on me and that’s hard because we’re all human and sometimes that looks like we want to react in anger or we want to react in. 

 

0:06:46 – Brian

I would react in anger. 

 

0:06:48 – Kayla

Or we want justice or we want to have our say, and that’s not always the way it should be. Sometimes, the best thing we can do is just sit with it and ultimately ask God what are you trying to teach me here? What is it about me that you’re trying to grow in this process? 

 

0:07:10 – Brian

That makes me think of Joseph in the Old Testament. He was thrown into a pit sold into slavery. He was accused of a sexual crime that he didn’t commit, forgotten about in prison, finally got out, became governor of Egypt. 

 

0:07:27 – Kayla

And this was all after his brother sold him. 

 

0:07:29 – Brian

Yeah, this is all after yeah, he had such a smooth ride. Yeah, Got off on a great foot there. But throughout that whole time, when you read it, Joseph kept saying but the Lord is with me. 

 

0:07:42 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:07:43 – Brian

And I don’t know I’m going to be honest. I don’t know if I could say that I’m just being brutally honest. 

 

0:07:50 – Kayla

No, because I’d be like God where are you? 

 

0:07:52 – Brian

Yes. 

 

0:07:53 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:07:54 – Brian

That’s a faith, but at the same time, I also believe this that Joseph, while he’s in that pit, while he’s in that prison, the Lord would give grace for you to believe that, for you to trust in that. 

 

0:08:10 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:08:11 – Brian

So that’s where I am. So there’s a truth here. Joseph is a good reminder that God will use our mess and he’s not abandoned us. It may not feel like he’s there. 

 

0:08:24 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:08:26 – Brian

But he’s there. Therefore, think about this how many different things did Joseph have to go through before he felt healed, before he felt delivered? 

 

0:08:37 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:08:38 – Brian

And all that stuff he was going through. It was equipping him, getting him ready for what was coming. 

 

0:08:42 – Kayla

That’s right. Yeah Well, it made him a heck of a leader one day. 

 

0:08:45 – Brian

It did, yeah, it did. 

 

0:08:47 – Kayla

Another one for me. I can choose not to be defined by what is happening. 

 

0:08:54 – Brian

I don’t really want to talk about that. 

 

0:08:55 – Kayla

Rejection does not make me a reject. Being overlooked does not make me invisible. Making others feel small does not make me bigger. Make me bigger. Those are all truths that when we’re going through a hard situation, it’s good to reject those voices or those patterns of behavior that well, if I could just feel better about myself. At what cost are we going to do that? I think that’s the question we have to ask ourselves. And it’s hard. 

 

0:09:31 – Brian

You said I can be rejected, but I’m not a rejection. 

 

0:09:37 – Kayla

A reject yeah. 

 

0:09:38 – Brian

Reject. There’s a meme that keeps coming up on my Instagram and I haven’t shared it and it’s very personal to me. I don’t know how this meme keeps finding me. It says you have fat, you are not fat, and I’ve seen this like two or three times now and I get so emotional when I see it. 

 

0:10:03 – Kayla

Yeah. Because, you fear that. That’s how you are defined. 

 

0:10:07 – Brian

Oh yes, a hundred percent. Because whenever I walk into a room, the first thing you see about me is my size. Now, at the same time, you’re talking about rejection. This is hard for me, because I struggle with acceptance and rejection. That’s a big deal for me as an Enneagram too. A big deal for me as an Enneagram too. So I try to stay grounded, and I mean this because I remind myself that Jesus loves me, Jesus accepts me, and that you, Miss Kayla, you love me and that you have accepted me. 

 

0:10:41 – Kayla

And the truth is so do many others. But when you’re struggling with something that’s kind of kicked you on the back of your heels, it’s hard to believe that. Yes, the last one for me is progress over perfection. I live by the once. I know better, do better mindset, and as God reveals areas to me that I still need to work some more in it’s on me to embrace that, but also to accept that the truth is I’m created in his image. He loves me. He knows the things that I’m going to need some pruning or some time, and it doesn’t take anything away from how he sees me and how valued I am by him, from how he sees me and how valued I am by him. 

 

When I need to learn that lesson for the 10th or the 20th time or I regress to something that I thought that I had outgrown, it’s hard for me to forgive myself. When I do go back to either a pattern of behavior or a mindset where I’m believing all those worst like tapes running through my head. Well, you should have figured this out by now. You should have grown in this. This shouldn’t bother you anymore. This shouldn’t be something that you struggle with. God’s in the midst of all that, and there’s something he’s still wanting me to learn, and that’s why he keeps presenting these situations for me. 

 

0:12:13 – Brian

I struggle with perfection in certain areas, like whenever I speak before people. I want to be perfect. I don’t want to stutter, I want to have all the right points, and sometimes I’ll get trapped within my own personality, like I want to share a joke or something like that and that can derail me and that will beat me up. I want to be perfect when it comes to food, but I love pepperoni, so that gets me in trouble. 

 

0:12:46 – Kayla

You are brutal to yourself if you make a mistake during the day, like if you feel like you mis-stepped with a team member. 

 

0:12:54 – Brian

I feel like I’ve disappointed them and OK, this goes back to this, and now they’re not going to accept me, they’re going to reject me and ultimately they could leave the organization, and I’m trying hard to lay that expectation down. 

 

0:13:08 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:13:08 – Brian

Because it does suffocate me. And the bottom line there is remembering that we don’t have that expectation down. 

 

0:13:11 – Kayla

Yeah, because it does suffocate me, and the bottom line there is remembering that we don’t have that much control. God is ultimately sovereign over all of this. 

 

0:13:19 – Brian

That got said. You’re 100% right. Why do you have to be so smart and be so wise? 

 

0:13:26 – Kayla

Oh, I wish, oh, you are, you are. So there we go. Just some thoughts on if there’s something in your life that you’re struggling with and you feel like it’s just a broken record and you keep having to face this again and again, you keep having to revisit this hard situation, look back at how a former version of you would have dealt with it and see even the incremental ways that God is working in and through you. 

 

0:13:59 – Brian

Very powerful. Before we get started on this next segment, I just want to paint a picture for folks to, here we go. 

 

0:14:13 – Kayla

I just want to paint a picture for folks behind Miss Kayla. 

 

0:14:14 – Brian

There’s a table what in the world? 

 

0:14:16 – Kayla

and there are one two, three, you have four Godzillas sitting there are four Godzillas and there’s two or three more in my office. 

 

0:14:21 – Brian

I need to bring over this is out of control, but this is what a podcast studio should look like no, it should not yes and then behind her, against the wall, is Abraham L… 

 

0:14:30 – Kayla

It’s a real mix match of things in here. 

 

0:14:34 – Brian

I’ve got. 

 

0:14:34 – Kayla

Darth Vader to my left. 

 

0:14:37 – Brian

Wow, and then here on the studio console. 

 

0:14:40 – Kayla

Apparently, my only contribution is a Peas and Carrots stuffy, so.

 

0:14:48 – Brian

Bitter party of one. Your table is ready, anyway. Party of one. Here’s ready. Anyway, party of one. Here we are okay. 

 

0:14:53 – Kayla

So I, just now, I’m creeped out by what’s behind me he’s not gonna bother you he’s. He’s a titan. He saves, oh my gosh. Okay. So here we are our best travel tips and a couple of travel stories. So this will be fun. Um, it’s getting close to you. There’s spring break trips. It’s that time of year where people are going to start planning their summer vacation. So we thought we would share with you just a few things we’ve learned as a couple, and, of course, we’re being self-deprecating, so just bear with us. 

 

0:15:28 – Brian

But, for example, you need to accept that one of you likes to arrive at the airport three hours before the flight and the other one doesn’t mind getting there one hour before. So go ahead and accept that you’re going to get there Three hours before yes, you’re welcome. 

 

0:15:46 – Kayla

Never missed a flight because of me. 

 

0:15:47 – Brian

We live with an airport that has six gates. I don’t care, six Uh-huh. Never missed a flight because of me. We live with an airport that has six gates. Don’t care, six Uh-huh. We could get there 45 minutes before the flight and we’d be fine. 

 

0:15:58 – Kayla

So that leads to my next tip Pack snacks, because nothing says a bad travel day, like two hangry people who are likely also tired because one of them insisted on that three-hour pre-flight window. So pack snacks. 

 

0:16:17 – Brian

I’m a snack fan, you know. So yeah, crackers, that kind of stuff I’m good, and usually we’re there. So early in the morning that the little store, the little place isn’t open yet. Not that I’m angry about that. 

 

0:16:28 – Kayla

I’m a little sassy about this. 

 

0:16:29 – Brian

Okay, I’m not. You were going after Godzilla earlier. Oh my gosh, there it is there. If I can get one of those a day, I consider that a win, a successful day for the day. I can go home. I can go home all right. 

 

0:16:44 – Kayla

What would you say is your next tip? 

 

0:16:46 – Brian

okay, for me, my tip would be don’t create extra stress. Be the calm one. 

 

0:16:53 – Kayla

What does that mean? Tread carefully. 

 

0:16:59 – Brian

One of you is probably going to worry about everything. Is the gate going to change, is the plane going to be on time, will we land there on time? And your point I’m giving out a travel tip, okay, okay. So one of you will probably be worried about everything, the other one of you. You need to be calm and project that and that everything will be okay. And even if it’s not, what can you change about it? And you might get there a little bit later. So to me, that kind of helps balance things out. Okay, that’s my tip. 

 

0:17:35 – Kayla

Which lends to what you were also about to share, which is another good one Leverage your strengths, and that’s kind of what you were hinting at. Who can keep up with the details? That would be me we’re not naming names, oh, as if we weren’t with the. Don’t create stress. And who can weave in spontaneity and fun? Because you do. Sometimes you just need to chill out and there are things again. Wow, there’s a lot about control in this episode, but there are things that you can control and there are things you can’t. So one of you needs to keep up with the time of the flights and all that jazz, but one of you needs to make sure that you’re having fun along the way. So there we go. 

 

0:18:23 – Brian

For this is my final tip Go somewhere you love Now. I don’t mind trying a new adventure. That’s fine, but be comfortable with wherever you’re going to go. 

 

0:18:31 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:18:32 – Brian

Now we have changed our plans because, after we thought about it, we’re like, we’re not. 

 

0:18:36 – Kayla

There’s a lot going on in the world. We were actually we’ve shared in another podcast we were going to go to Italy this summer. After some discussion and just looking at well, first of all, some things going on in life around us and then things going on in the world around us, we opted to stay in the United. States this summer. So yeah, so yeah. Make sure that you’re both on the same page with your travel plans. Which lends us to a couple of stories. 

 

0:19:06 – Brian

A couple of stories. There was a concert series that would always show up in Gadsden, Alabama. I’m a big Southern Gospel music guy. There’s two groups Gold City and then the Kingsman. I’m a huge Kingsman fan. 

 

0:19:20 – Kayla

And we would go for their reunion. 

 

0:19:22 – Brian

Yes, we would go there for that, and there’s a place there called. 

 

0:19:27 – Kayla

Nakalula Falls. It’s beautiful. 

 

0:19:29 – Brian

It is, and it’s named after an Indian girl. 

 

0:19:32 – Kayla

Yeah, there’s this whole story. There’s a whole story there.

 

0:19:35 – Brian

But you can go hiking down to Noccalula Falls. We were told it was a moderate hike. 

 

0:19:43 – Kayla

Well, their definition of a moderate hiking trail does not match ours, because we nearly died. 

 

0:19:49 – Brian

Coming back up that. 

 

0:19:50 – Kayla

We got to the bottom it wasn’t bad. 

 

0:19:52 – Brian

Oh, it was too coming back up that. 

 

0:19:55 – Kayla

We got to the bottom. Going down wasn’t bad. Oh it was too. 

 

0:19:58 – Brian

But coming back up, but getting back up from I thought y’all were going to leave me down there. 

 

0:20:00 – Kayla

Listen, if they’d had cell phones back then, we’d have been texting somebody and saying send a helicopter. 

 

0:20:06 – Brian

Because it was rough, it was hot. 

 

0:20:08 – Kayla

Yes. 

 

0:20:09 – Brian

Oh, I think we have a picture of us coming up. Oh, hot, yes, oh, I think we have a picture of us coming up. 

 

0:20:12 – Kayla

Oh my gosh, yeah, it was not a good and y’all, this was back in the 90s and some girl had the idea to wear her denim overalls and I was dying by the time we got back to the top. 

 

0:20:23 – Brian

So then there was a time that we took a trip to Turkey, to the seven churches of the Revelation, uh-huh. On the way back, maybe was it to Greece or to Turkey. 

 

0:20:34 – Kayla

It was to Greece. This was when we went to Greece. 

 

0:20:37 – Brian

So we’re coming back from Greece on the plane and I look at you and your mouth is swollen. 

 

0:20:42 – Kayla

Like a chipmunk. 

 

0:20:43 – Brian

I said baby, are you okay? You’re like I’m hurting. 

 

0:20:46 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:20:47 – Brian

And on the flight from Greece to back to new Orleans, 14 hours. 

 

0:20:54 – Kayla

The dentist told me the next day that due to the change in pressure on the plane, an already aggravated wisdom tooth it caused a reaction. And it was impacted and it got very angry and so my entire jaw swelled. We got very angry and so my entire jaw swelled. We got home Sunday. I was at the dentist on Monday and on Wednesday I had all of my wisdom teeth out, so it was quite an adventure. 

 

0:21:22 – Brian

It was yeah, and it was. 

 

0:21:24 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:21:25 – Brian

I guess we’re scaring our people with our travel stories here. 

 

0:21:28 – Kayla

No, I mean, it was good. 

 

0:21:30 – Brian

You got to be flexible because stuff’s going to happen. That’s right, and remember this that whatever does happen, it will create a great story. 

 

0:21:38 – Kayla

Oh, absolutely. It’s very random, but anytime we mentor a young couple, the one thing we tell them about your wedding is something’s going to go wrong that day. 

 

0:21:49 – Brian

But you’re going to laugh about it later. 

 

0:21:51 – Kayla

It’s going to be the thing that you remember and you will laugh about it for years to come. So, as you are making your travel plans, just prepare for something to go sideways and just have fun with it. 

 

0:22:05 – Brian

I remember one time at Disney we were down there and we saw this family, probably five or six of them, leaving the hotel and they’re like are y’all ready to go to the happiest place on earth? And all the little kids. 

 

0:22:16 – Kayla

Everybody’s smiling, everybody’s smiling. 

 

0:22:18 – Brian

The girls are in their little princess outfits and we see them, I guess, four or five hours later at a Disney park and there’s a total meltdown. 

 

0:22:29 – Kayla

And it’s the adults having a meltdown, not the kids. The dad is losing it. 

 

0:22:33 – Brian

The dad says this is not the happiest. I mean he’s having a fit. We just kept on walking. 

 

0:22:39 – Kayla

We just kept laughing. 

 

0:22:40 – Brian

Dad needed a nap. Yeah, that would have been good. Hey, thanks for listening to this week’s episode, and you could win a peas and carrots coffee mug and Miss Kayla’s favorite, the stickers. A pack of stickers. Yeah so, but you have to answer a trivia question correctly, so you have to go to our website go to peasandcarrotspodcast.com. 

 

0:23:04 – Kayla

Look for the trivia button, click that and here’s what we want to know. Okay, what is a travel tip that you would share with us? Because I know there are many, many more. We did not share all of them, but what would you share with us and we’ll share that on a future podcast. 

 

0:23:23 – Brian

So what’s your travel tip? If you answer that question, you simply go to our website. 

 

0:23:28 – Kayla

Peasandcarrotspodcast.com 

 

0:23:30 – Brian

And you click on the trivia button, answer that question. When you do, we’ll send you a mug and some cute stickers. 

 

0:23:37 – Kayla

You can search Peas and Carrots Podcast wherever you get your podcasts, or visit our website at peasandcarrotspodcast.com. When you do, please don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast. 

 

0:23:47 – Brian

You can also follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast. I love all the Godzillas behind me. 

 

0:23:54 – Kayla

Oh my gosh. 

 

0:23:55 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Life’s not perfect. That’s why God gave us friends like Melody and Candi. Check out QuirksBumpsandBruises.com, or search Quirks, Bumps, and Bruises wherever you listen to podcasts. 

 

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Season 3, Episode 9: Fix-ated on That

Fix-ated on That - Episode Description

Join us on this week’s Peas and Carrots Podcast as we kick things off with a light-hearted utensil tussle – are you Team Spoon or Team Knife when it comes to spreading mayonnaise? But it’s not all fun and games; we also share our personal takeaways from a month-long habit tracker. Discover the highs and lows of maintaining good habits, the quest to include more greens in our diet, and our heartfelt encounter with a newborn member of our church community. Plus, we debate the pros and cons of daylight saving time and share a few laughs over nocturnal phone screen shenanigans.

Listen in as we explore the complexities of faith in the professional realm. We open up about our own spiritual journey and how it’s shaped our approach to ministry work. The conversation takes a turn towards the profound as we discuss the necessity of grace in both ministry and relationships, focusing on the essential beliefs that unite Christians while extending a circle of grace to the varied interpretations of non-essential doctrines. And let’s not forget to touch upon the role of Old Testament laws and the true path to salvation through Jesus’s sacrifice – it’s a reminder to avoid judgment and embrace compassion.

Finally, ready your ears for a delightful linguistic jaunt as we compare the quirks of British and American English. From attempting (and failing) to nail British accents to deciphering terms like ‘trolley’ and ‘dummy’, this episode is a linguistic treat. Wrap up with us as we chuckle over classic British phrases and their American counterparts, all while paying homage to the cultural staples that make each version of English uniquely charming. So grab your headphones and a cuppa, and prepare for an episode that’s as cozy as mismatched socks on a chilly day.

Fix-ated on That - Transcript
0:00:00 – Announcer
We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders.
 
0:00:11 – Kayla
Welcome to the Peas and Carrots Podcast. Hey, I’m Brian and I’m Kayla.
 
0:00:15 – Brian
Good to have you. We have two new friends in the studio with us.
 
0:00:18 – Kayla
We do, it’s actually you surprised me with this.
 
0:00:22 – Brian
I did and it’s a pea and a carrot.
 
0:00:25 – Kayla
They’re stuffed toys. Yeah, we should clarify, not like literally. We have a pea and a carrot.
 
0:00:33 – Brian
Okay, but I got them from Hallmark. They’re so cute and I brought you one of them and you they have magnets, so they like. So you see, we go together like peas and carrots there you go, we’ll share a picture. So yeah, we will. Yeah, it says better together peas and carrot. No, so what? How’s that go?
 
0:00:56 – Kayla
Yeah.
 
0:00:57 – Brian
All right, before we move on, there’s a word that you have been using that has spread throughout the PAR team now, and I’d like to confront you in the spirit.
 
0:01:07 – Kayla
Oh, really? Well, that’s just tomfoolery.
 
0:01:11 – Brian
That’s the word. Yep, I know which word it was. Okay.
 
0:01:13 – Kayla
I’m not apologizing for it. Why? Because sometimes it fits, it just does so. You asked the PAR team. Yes, you are making them choose to give up one, and it’s between bread and rice and pasta and potato, yep. And so I told you this is tomfoolery, I’m not doing it, and someone else agreed so.
 
0:01:39 – Brian
It’s just a great word, Tom. What’s it mean? Like foolishness, but oh yeah, How’d tom get in there? Well, I don’t know. Bless him, I don’t understand.
 
0:01:49 – Kayla
Speaking of PAR.
 
0:01:50 – Brian
Yes.
 
0:01:51 – Kayla
We had the joy of spending this past week with our leadership team, doing some planning and dreaming, and there’s a lot of fun.
 
0:01:59 – Brian
There’s a lot of fun, the best leadership team we’ve ever had. We just love people of character, wisdom, patience. They put up with me big dreams, oh big dreams, and I’m thankful for them. We had great laughs, great meals. We did so. One of our Adam McCain, who’s my number one. One had COVID so he had to zoom in. He said he felt fine the whole time he looked like he felt okay, yeah, so, but you know, covet as Doug Day said, said man day two of COVID, your hair looks great.
 
I’ll never forget that. So okay, Miss Kayla, who’s also known as Al Roker, you’re keeping track of the weather.
 
0:02:41 – Kayla
Well, if we are keeping track, yes. We’re on our fifth fake spring in the new what is fake spring? So fake spring is. We’ll have like two days that are cold and Windy and rainy, and then here comes this beautiful blue sky day with 65 70 degrees. And then, just when we get like lulled into the thought that it’s spring, here comes another cold and windy and rainy day and I mean, aren’t we gonna be in like the 20s?
 
0:03:09 – Brian
Next week we’ll have some highs. They’re like 73 and then and then there’s a couple of nights where it’s like 29.
 
0:03:16 – Kayla
That’s crazy. So yeah, but I will say this the trees are starting to look beautiful, all the pink blossoms, so I want to handle this in a public form. Again. I want you.
 
0:03:27 – Brian
This is twice I want you to prepare your heart that next week we’ll have to turn on the air conditioner.
 
0:03:32 – Kayla
Okay, okay, you think that’s gonna bother me right now. I Didn’t.
 
0:03:41 – Brian
Do you want to tell them why that’s not well, I think they could figure it out.
 
0:03:44 – Kayla
I’m 51 years old, so yeah, you’re gonna be the one looking for a sweater.
 
0:03:49 – Brian
Trust me, she loves to sit in her easy chair with this big thick blanket and we’ll be watching some show. All of a sudden, out of the corner of my eye, I see a blanket sling across room.
 
0:04:01 – Kayla
Okay, you might be over sharing.
 
0:04:02 – Brian
I’m not baby. Are you warm? Little bit!
 
0:04:07 – Kayla
Can’t help it.
 
0:04:08 – Brian
So all right.
 
0:04:09 – Kayla
Big news, big news. Somebody has a birthday this week.
 
0:04:15 – Brian
Mm-hmm.
 
0:04:16 – Kayla
And it’s not me.
 
0:04:18 – Brian
It’s me, yay. I will turn 56 on March 15th, four years from 60.
 
0:04:27 – Kayla
Yeah, I may have stepped off it at the other day.
 
0:04:29 – Brian
Yeah, we were talking and I said, baby, can you believe I won’t be 56? And what was your response?
 
0:04:35 – Kayla
Oh, my gosh 56?. Yeah, that’s, exactly.
 
0:04:38 – Brian
And see in my head, I’m like that’s 19 years from being 75. I’m like I’m really having, oh my goodness, no, I’m really struggling. No, I think it’s awesome. I don’t know if I’ll make it 75, but we’ll see.
 
0:04:49 – Kayla
Yes, you will. I hope you will. So happy birthday, B. Thank you, darling, love you. Let’s fix that.
 
0:04:58 – Brian
Well, it seems some tape or some glue to fix this.
 
0:05:01 – Kayla
No, this isn’t the kind of thing that calls for super glue or duct tape. It’s so tempting for all of us to want to jump in and fix a problem or rescue someone, and that’s not always a bad thing, but it’s also not always ours to do. And I think of parenting. Not that we’ve experienced that we had a dog and we’ve got stories but sometimes leadership compares to this, would you agree?
 
0:05:31 – Brian
100%, because you see people struggle, people that you love, who struggle and they might struggle with this decision or they might struggle with this area, and you want to step in and you want to rescue them.
 
0:05:44 – Kayla
Yeah, and you have leaders come to you often addressing this and sharing that they just don’t know if they should jump in or if they should sit back, or and there are times we are meant to take a step back and let other people figure things out- I think that there’s an old adage that says that you try to keep children away from touching a hot stove. Yeah, but if they ever, what’s the best way they’re going to learn?
 
0:06:10 – Brian
Well, you know, the first time they touch it, I guarantee you they’re never going to touch it again. Yeah, I guess this is the principle that you have to let people fail.
 
0:06:20 – Kayla
Yeah.
 
0:06:20 – Brian
You have. Even and this is for me as a leader, because I have a lot of people who work for me you have to let them fail, and sometimes I want to be embarrassed like this looks poorly on me, well, okay, but is them learning a lesson more important than my personal pride? Who? And I think the answer to that has to be a yes, because it’s not about me, it’s about, I mean, think about this. Let’s look at this from, like, Jesus’s perspective. He’s looking down from heaven. Well, that one there just went off rails. He’s letting us fail so that we can grow.
 
0:07:04 – Kayla
Yeah, we’ll come back to that. I think of a child when they’re learning to walk, to tie their shoes, work a puzzle, manage their school schedule as they get into like middle school and high school. You want to prepare them for college and for, like time management and all those things. Basically, being a good human, be responsible, and it’s the same with leading teams or with managing home life, as you said. Sometimes we really have to ask ourselves. So that’s what we’re going to do. We’re going to look at a series of things that we’ve considered in this, and you alluded to one when you talked about is it our pride and what was it?
 
0:07:48 – Brian
you said about that. Yeah, I mean, sometimes it is that we don’t want this person to fail, especially at something that we have purview over, because we’re afraid it’s going to make us look bad as a leader.
 
And yet I’ve seen or as a parent, or as a parent or grandparent, and so we want to actually rescue them when really the best thing we can do is to let them fail and they will learn the lesson. So somebody else’s failure isn’t your failure, and you have to be willing to let people fail so that they can grow. I think the book of James says that you have to endure things so that your character grows.
 
0:08:31 – Kayla
Perhaps we’re more concerned, if we’re really honest, about our comfort or our ease, and Resisting the urge to jump in creates this anxiety for all of us. But that doesn’t necessarily mean we should overstep now. Okay, someone is going to say, but they could get hurt. Well, we get that. Of course, there are times that you are going to jump in somebody.
 
0:08:56 – Brian
Jump out of an airplane without a parachute. You’re you might want to rescue them.
 
0:09:00 – Kayla
I’m saying this is just stuff that if they’re learning how to navigate life, if they’re learning how to manage money, learning how to do a budget, learning how to care for others, or something like that to manage their projects, to Get their homework done, if they’re in high school or college or Nobody was following me around in college saying make sure you show up for class on time and make sure that you get your homework done and write that paper and those are skills that parents teach while their kids are at home in, hopefully, in middle school and high school, so that when you do release them to the big wide world they can cope. And it’s hard when you are Coming alongside someone who is in their own struggle because sometimes the reality is they did not have someone in their life that was doing that for them when they were growing up.
 
0:09:59 – Brian
I like what you said, that we’re more concerned about our own comfort and ease, and this is what I’m thinking. If this person fails, if this person drops the ball on this, or if this kid does this over here, yeah, is that going to create more work for me, is that going to create more Anxiety for me? And so that’s a temptation To want to step in and rescue them, yeah, so that I don’t have more stuff to do back here and there. Again, you have to count the cost. What’s more important? Yeah, your own comfort.
 
Hmm or this person learning lesson. I’m gonna go on record and say I like to be comfortable you do so.
 
0:10:43 – Kayla
I’m gonna let you take the next one, okay.
 
0:10:50 – Brian
We’re gonna skip this one. No, yes, we are. We’re gonna say. Are we coming from a place of impatience rather than resting God’s timeline? I’m a very such a patient baby. Stop it Now, that’s fine. I’m gonna hurt being cared over here. Oh, I Am a very impatient man. There’s a famous phrase in par that if Brian wants something done, when did he want it done?
 
0:11:14 – Kayla
Yesterday, yesterday.
 
0:11:15 – Brian
I have tried to grow in that and there’s a principle that I try to follow I want to be patient with accomplishing the mission. I want to be impatient with the task that will do that. So the first one is oh. The second one, oh Say a lot. And so this is where I am in this. I’m an imperfect man, I’m an impatient man and I often do not rest in God’s timeline.
 
A lot of us are guilty of that and there’s a piece of me oh, I hate to admit this there’s a piece of me that believes that leaders and parents and school teachers and employers that God’s using us to develop character in others. Now, that doesn’t give me a blank check To make somebody’s life miserable yeah, something like that but it does mean that I have the right to push them a little bit.
 
0:12:24 – Kayla
Sure.
 
0:12:24 – Brian
So am I impatient.
 
0:12:27 – Kayla
Yes, it’s learning when it’s the time to do that.
 
0:12:31 – Brian
To be impatient?
 
0:12:32 – Kayla
Yeah, and I mean not everything can be hurry up, the world is burning kind of mentality. But there is a situation that may arise where and this is from kids on up to grown-ups that maybe someone is stuck and we need to help them get unstuck, or maybe they need an external motivation. I think of parents that you know if you get your room cleaned within 30 minutes, we’ll watch a movie tonight, or if you get your homework done, we’ll go get ice cream. Sometimes those are the external motivations you need, but to your point. I love this truth and it’s the image of how Jesus is with us. He will put us in situations that are meant to prune us and grow us, and that’s on him to do that. We may feel like he’s gone silent at times, because he’s not necessarily the one like nagging at us, or we can feel like he’s just gone really quiet in our lives, but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t care. He’s always there and nothing is outside of his plan, but sometimes he’s just letting us walk through it.
 
0:13:48 – Brian
Yes, god never leaves you, he never forsakes you.
 
He’s there all the time, but you may not be able to feel him at the time, and so he lets you experience that, in hopes that it will drive you even closer to him and hopefully that will actually grow us. That leads into how opposite we are as like leaders and also parents, because there used to be a term called helicopter parents and now there’s a phrase called lawnmower parents, so the helicopter parent used to be referred to as the one that was constantly like swirling around making sure that nothing got dropped knowing when to jump in and rescue.
 
0:14:30 – Kayla
Well, now the term lawnmower parent comes, and we may have referenced this before this drive to like push ahead of your child or push ahead of your team members so that you clear the path and make it smooth for them.
 
0:14:44 – Brian
And there’s no burden.
 
0:14:45 – Kayla
Well, I hope you’ve got all the time in the world to do that for the rest of your life if that’s what you’re doing, because A little spicy there, but it’s okay. I cringe when I see parents or leaders or other people doing this. You’ve got to give people the freedom to figure things out, and if we’re constantly running in front of someone to either clear the way for them or rescue them, what happens when you’re gone?
 
0:15:14 – Brian
I am trying to grow a group of leaders who can step in on the day I either die or I retire. That’s where the sits. You have to prepare for what’s next.
 
0:15:26 – Kayla
Well, I’m going to go for the mic drop moment here, Because this may sound like it’s all about pointing the finger, and to assure you that it’s not for all of us. May we all be so focused on ways we need to grow that we aren’t hyper-focused on things we feel the need to fix in others.
 
0:15:47 – Brian
Say that again. That’s powerful.
 
0:15:49 – Kayla
May we be so focused on ways that we need to grow that we aren’t hyper-focused on things we feel that we need to fix in others, Because there’s that whole passage in Scripture about the speck in your brother’s eyes. That’s exactly what I was thinking yes, and the plank in your own, and it’s easy to overlook the things that we need to be working on by distracting ourselves with. Well, if I fix this and I fix this, let the focus be what God’s doing in me, not what he needs to do in someone else.
 
0:16:27 – Brian
Well, you’re done going to preach it now, and you’re 100% right, Miss Kayla. I mean because if we don’t, then that leads to self-righteousness and everything else Self-topic, but one that we need to wrestle to the ground often. Hey, hi, hi, we got a letter, we got a letter.
 
0:16:51 – Kayla
Is it Blue’s Clues? We just got a letter. We just got a letter. You’ve never seen that. You’re looking at me like I’m crazy. Okay, we are now watching Blue’s Clues, okay.
 
0:17:01 – Brian
Okay, all right, I’m bringing Godzilla in for this segment.
 
0:17:04 – Kayla
No, why we went from Blue’s Clues to Godzilla.
 
0:17:08 – Brian
You had Pea and Carrot on here earlier it’s Peas and Carrots Day. Yes, but we have. But we got Godzilla here today.
 
0:17:15 – Kayla
Back to the topic at hand. We are absolutely blown away by how many people have taken time to engage with us over the last few months, and forgive us, we are not going to take the time to Thank each one individually, or we would be here all day. It would be fun, but you all have lots of other things to do. But we wanted to take a minute To say thank you for some of the texts and the cards and the emails and just share a few of those with you To Karen and Christiansburg, tina and Roanoke, dana in low gap and Kathy and Christiansburg.
 
We see you. Strasburg, Kathy didn’t move.
 
0:18:00 – Brian
Sorry, Kathy, you live in, you live in Strasburg. It’s gonna be tough. We see you with your preference for text messages.
 
0:18:08 – Kayla
Yes, we asked a question one week about and I mean overwhelming number of responses about phone calls versus text.
 
0:18:16 – Brian
Don’t call me text, because if I somebody calls me and that they say to me how you doing, you need what is my famous response.
 
0:18:24 – Kayla
Well, why is this not a text?
 
0:18:25 – Brian
Well, you know, this is my response. Well, I’m about to find out how I’m doing because you True, you called.
 
0:18:31 – Kayla
To Sharra in Waynesboro hey, Sharra, we to use FaceTime sometimes and we totally get why that can be a better option.
 
0:18:38 – Brian
I’m not a fan of it.
 
0:18:39 – Kayla
I get your anxiety over taking certain people’s phone calls. So FaceTime I have what. My best friend doesn’t live in town, so getting to FaceTime with her is one of the delights of my week or month, or we’re so busy now that it feels like it’s monthly, but yeah oh, you do you this next one is for you. Ron we need to talk.
 
0:19:03 – Brian
Okay, there’s a famous story in our marriage.
 
0:19:06 – Kayla
We shared it just recently about the pink blanket.
 
0:19:09 – Brian
Yes, and how, before we got married, it wasn’t pink anymore. You were getting the apartment ready.
 
0:19:15 – Kayla
I threw your pink blanket away. It was not so, Ron, it was beige, not pink, had a hole in it the size of my head. Okay, here we go again. So.
 
0:19:26 – Brian
Ron and blunt will respond and said I have a fuzzy, soft pink blanket. I lay on my couch and watch comedy shows or movies. Ron, you’re my favorite person.
 
0:19:36 – Kayla
You’re my new best friend. Okay, good, maybe Ron will share the pink blanket with you.
 
0:19:42 – Brian
No.
 
0:19:44 – Kayla
Sarah, thank you for your beautiful card and Donna, thank you for your kind email. We see you and thank you for sharing the moments that have really spoken to you.
 
0:19:55 – Brian
Yeah, so, and that card was really nice. I was blown away. It was a beautiful card a dawn. We are glad that you’re finding joy and and also in Finding community and what we share. So, and this is a big tent, I mean everybody, come on in, we’ll just sit down absolutely chicken together.
 
0:20:10 – Kayla
To all the friends who’ve shared book suggestions that grasp that Mayo should be spread with an eye, I’ll stop now.
 
0:20:17 – Brian
See, that’s not fair. Godzilla just got in the boat.
 
0:20:20 – Kayla
Oh did he? He did.
 
0:20:22 – Brian
We just discussed that a few weeks back. You spread may one time. I know it wasn’t a wonderful.
 
0:20:27 – Kayla
No, I wasted Mayo. We don’t have time for this. Waste me. To those who text us saying I can Totally see this happening to y’all, well, or thank you for being real. We appreciate you as well. We do and we love hearing from all of you. So yes, if you would like to win. Yes, a coffee mug or some stickers and we have some coming soon. We’re gonna have some new surprise and lights Well just go to our website, look for the trivia button.
 
0:20:59 – Brian
You go to peas and carrots podcast calm that’s our website, peas and carrots podcast calm and you click on the trivia button and you have to answer this question this week.
 
0:21:09 – Kayla
So our question this week is which is your favorite? Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets? As we’re coming into daylight savings time now, and some people are going to prefer the start of the day and some people are going to prefer the end of the day. So you used to be a night owl. I’ve become a morning person.
 
0:21:30 – Brian
Yeah.
 
0:21:30 – Kayla
I still don’t like people in the morning, but I like the mornings.
 
0:21:38 – Brian
It’s there one particular? Is there one particular people that gets on your nerves?
 
0:21:42 – Kayla
No, not just people in general before coffee, because I’m usually the only one in the house at that time of the morning. Well, but you don’t talk early in the morning, and if you do, I tell you what’s the rule about Lincoln stories.
 
0:21:52 – Brian
This morning, I got up and I asked about three or four questions and this head slowly turns. It’s about 4:15 this morning, “B it’s a little early for 20 questions.”
 
0:22:05 – Kayla
I hadn’t had a full cup of coffee. Anywho, we digress. Search peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Answer that trivia question and we will send you a mug and some stickers.
 
0:22:18 – Brian
She loves the stickers. She thinks they’re cute.
 
0:22:19 – Kayla
Oh, they’re absolutely adorable.
 
0:22:22 – Brian
Hey, thanks for listening, and you can search the Peas and Parrot…
 
0:22:25 – Kayla
Peas and Parrots… He needs some coffee.
 
0:22:29 – Brian
Peas and Carrots Podcast.
 
0:22:31 – Kayla
Wherever you get your podcast or visit our website peasandcarrotspodcast.com and when you do, please don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast.
 
0:22:39 – Brian
You can also follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast.
 
0:22:45 – Kayla
I blame Godzilla. You wouldn’t have said Parrots if he wasn’t sitting there.
 
0:22:49 – Brian
He is not bothering anybody.
 
0:22:51 – Kayla
Little bit.
 
0:22:51 – Brian
No! “A little bit…”
 
0:22:53 – Announcer
For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Life’s not perfect. That’s why God gave us friends like Melody and Candi. Check out QuirksBumpsandBruises.com, or search Quirks, Bumps, and Bruises wherever you listen to podcasts.

 

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Season 3, Episode 2: Hello, Self!

Hello, Self! - Episode Description

Join Brian and Kayla on a journey of self-discovery and acceptance as we march into the new year. In this episode, they focus on the beauty of acknowledging our strengths and embracing the aspects of ourselves that need no change. B & K open up about skills and personal strengths that they are committed to refining, and they invite you, their listeners, to reflect on the positive traits you’re proud to carry into 2024, amidst all your goals and aspirations.

Brian and Kayla also share light-hearted updates on their new nutrition plan, puzzle-working frustrations, and travel-related anxieties inspired by a true, spine-chilling incident aboard an Alaskan Airlines flight. Get ready to laugh with B & K and be inspired to embrace goodness in 2024.

 

Hello, Self! - Transcript

 

0:00:00 – Announcer
We go together like peas and carrots the Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch Brian and Kayla Sanders.

0:00:11 – Kayla
Welcome to the peas and carrots podcast. I’m Brian and I’m Kayla. Welcome. How are you? Pretty good, awesome yourself, great, we are ten days in On a new nutrition plan. Oh how’s it going for you?

0:00:30 – Brian
Well, I’ve been on a diet ten days. Anybody want to fight we’re?

0:00:33 – Kayla
not on a diet. It’s a new eating plan.

0:00:36 – Brian
I’m on a new eating plan ten days. Anybody want to fight? What’s that? Tell you? I don’t like anybody oh, mmm and disclaimer.

0:00:47 – Kayla
We are not going to become those people who it’s nutrition and fitness.

0:00:52 – Brian
That’s all we talk about. I love food and I love to cheat with food, so Well, I’m not gonna lie, it’s more Eos last night. I did Google Bojangles menu today and their chicken is all allergen free for me.

0:01:04 – Kayla
Oh well, that’s not happening. Dream on, dream, big dream on, dream on. So what else is up in the world of peas and carrots?

0:01:15 – Brian
Well, now I want fried chicken moving on okay, we mentioned last week that we are now working puzzles and y’all.

0:01:26 – Kayla
The hardest puzzle a.

0:01:28 – Brian
Batman puzzle. It is the hardest during puzzle I’ve ever worked my entire I actually. I actually get angry like I have to walk away.

0:01:38 – Kayla
It’s not accomplishing the whole relaxation thing.

0:01:41 – Brian
It’s hard.

0:01:42 – Kayla
Yeah but I’m not a quitter. We’re about a fourth of the way through this puzzle. Why something we were half? No, we’re about a fourth and we’ve been at it for a week.

0:01:51 – Brian
I am so depressed right now.

0:01:53 – Kayla
You’ll be all right. Really, it’s Batman of a way.

0:01:58 – Brian
That’s one of these weird puzzles where they say it’s a Thomas Ken Kate, when I think a Batman, I don’t think a Thomas Ken Kate, and when I think a Thomas Ken Kate, I don’t think a Batman. So there’s something strange going on there. You feel better.

0:02:14 – Kayla
No, as this airs, we will be with our entire PAR team. Yeah, and what is that? Why do we? In January and July we typically all come together, yeah what every January we do, what’s called vision week the whole team comes together about 50 55 people.

0:02:37 – Brian
Par is a ministry that spread over five states or so. Yeah, team members in all those states and we get together twice a year and we’ve got a lot of new team members.

0:02:51 – Kayla
We do which is exciting.

0:02:53 – Brian
Everybody’s gonna be working on a text to do a reset where? We cast the vision anew.

0:02:58 – Kayla
This is who we are. This is why we do this.

0:03:01 – Brian
We hear everybody’s annual plans as far as, yeah, the teams and stations and there’s some good ones this year.

0:03:07 – Kayla
I’m excited.

0:03:08 – Brian
It’s. It’s gonna be fun. So yeah, there’ll be games. I think we’re going to see a movie together as a team, so yeah, fun times.

0:03:20 – Kayla
We’re in a new year. I think we have all finally agreed on that. We’ve embraced the fact that 2023 is gone gone but there’s so much chatter about a better you, and in truth, we should all be open to growth. That’s just a fact, but perhaps there are some things about us that we don’t need to change.

0:03:42 – Brian
Now, before we get deep in this, we just want to make one little caveat here for everybody. We are not saying that Christ doesn’t change us, that he’s not at all.

0:03:53 – Kayla
No, no, this is. This is in reference to if you are feeling the pressure to have all these new Intentions for 2024 and if you do, that’s great, we celebrate you, we cheer you on. But if you are and I’ve spoken to several people who are sitting here I’m limping out of 2023 and I don’t even know what’s up at this point from down.

0:04:20 – Brian
So I don’t think you’re the only one. I talked to one of our leaders this morning and he said be, I’m coming in to vision week with probably the lowest amount of fuel I’ve ever had.

0:04:31 – Kayla
Yeah and so, as I’ve talked with friends and and just listened to people, 2023 was hard, yeah, and so our gift is we want to make a little bit easier for you, and one way we can do that is let’s think together for just a minute. We, as humans, are so quick to focus on the negative. I watched this amazing video not long ago and it was actually I think it was a Dove commercial, and they asked as in women.

0:05:04 – Brian
Yes, they asked when?

0:05:05 – Kayla
well, dove does a whole line of beauty products. And they asked women To name one thing that they would change about themselves.

That’s women, women, this okay and it was so negative in every case. And then they asked little girls, no, and the contrast Between what the women said and what the little girls said was just Incredible. So it got me to thinking, rather than focusing on what’s not so great about us. Yeah, and again, we’re not playing a naive game here, where you never have to face areas where you need to grow. But what if we asked you what are three things that you love about yourself and Don’t see changing in 2024? And again, if you are focused on growth this year and you are chasing hard after some goals, get?

0:06:06 – Brian
it. Well, I think it’s okay to have both exactly hundred percent.

0:06:10 – Kayla
But we also know people who they’ve been so down on themselves for the last few years and it’s I mean as we record. This is January 11th, so a lot of goals and intentions have the wagons burning as we speak or it’s in that shoes. But how would you answer this? Be so, let’s, let’s give people an example of things I’m not gonna change. Yeah, what’s your first one?

0:06:37 – Brian
I’m gonna say this I, when I look at Brian, these are the good things. I have the gift of Leadership you do. I am going to continue to lean into that and lead the organization because that’s what you’re built to. That’s what I’m built to do, so that’s a good thing. Yeah, one from you.

0:06:55 – Kayla
Well, I have the gift of Organization y’all cannot hang on.

0:06:59 – Brian
miss Kayla, I love you. Uh-huh y’all the way the woman relaxes. Mm-hmm is she organizes a closet or the pantry, or Can I just say baby, I love you. That has never once crossed my mind and that’s okay. Okay.

0:07:18 – Kayla
I love organizing, I love attention to details, I can fiercely tackle clutter, take the emotion out of it and get rid of stuff that is just clutter in our home, and I love to design processes and systems that simplify life. And so I’m not getting rid of that.

0:07:41 – Brian
Okay, go on getting rid of stuff, but let me just say this I love seeing that in you.

0:07:47 – Kayla
Yeah.

0:07:47 – Brian
Cause it’s something so foreign to me, Like I’ll sit there and I’ll go what’s going on.

0:07:51 – Kayla
But when we got married, I even streamlined your closet for you, didn’t I? And you went. Well, this just makes better sense. You used to. Let’s stay on the positive design. Let’s stay on the positive.

0:08:04 – Brian
And I have, like all the shirts you even streamed line and threw away my wonderful pink blanket.

0:08:08 – Kayla
Okay, back to so, number two. What would you say? We’re going to move on from that. The people are not here for that.

0:08:17 – Brian
Yes, they are threw away. One of my favorite blankets and I didn’t have a hole in it though A huge hole.

0:08:24 – Kayla
So yeah, in my defense.

0:08:26 – Brian
I love reading, yeah, and I love having books everywhere.

0:08:31 – Kayla
And we do have piles of books and I’m okay with that.

0:08:34 – Brian
And that’s not going to change.

0:08:35 – Kayla
Yeah, I love hosting. I pride myself on others feeling comfortable and welcome in any space we share.

0:08:46 – Brian
You do love to host.

0:08:47 – Kayla
I love surprising and delighting guests when they visit us.

0:08:52 – Brian
I mean, you delight in having people over I do and having the little fruit tray and the little meat tray. You, just you delight in that. In the games and yeah, you, you and the comfort foods and yeah that is your and you want everybody to be at comfort ease. I love seeing that. That is a true gift that you have, and I’m like y’all are here, okay, what time you’re leaving. Here’s a bottle of water. Why don’t y’all come back whenever you can’t stay long?

0:09:22 – Kayla
You’re that person that would have the balloons leave at nine.

0:09:28 – Brian
There’s actually a door mat that you can put inside your house. Yep, that says leave, we’re not getting that door mat. I ordered it the other day. Oh well, amazon returns Next for me. I love to laugh, I love to be happy.

0:09:43 – Kayla
Yeah.

0:09:44 – Brian
And I try to fight against the gloom.

0:09:48 – Kayla
Yeah. So, Well, your role naturally presents a lot of negative situations. Really, what you deal with people? You deal with 50 people on any given day and people can be drama sometimes no, yes. You fight really hard to find the good.

0:10:06 – Brian
Well, and I love to laugh and I know this sounds stupid, but I love to be happy. So I’m going to continue to try and this may sound counter, but I’m going to lean into that and I’m going to fight to see the positive. I’m going to fight to see the happy. I’m going to fight to lean into that because I can easily be pushed toward the other side. I can easily lean toward like hopelessness. Okay.

0:10:34 – Kayla
Yeah.

So you at 51 and a half-ish. I’m comfortable with who I am and how I look. I’m not averse to gray hair. Now you know that for a season this really bothered me. I would look in the mirror and I would still see my chestnut brown hair. And then someone would send me a picture and I would go who is that? Because it was such a stark difference. And now I’ve embraced it. I’m too cheap to spend a bunch of money coloring my hair. Here’s my thing. It’s a lot of work. I don’t have patience for that, but I’m OK with. I mean, I’ve worked hard to take care of my body the last year.

0:11:23 – Brian
Oh, except for the stairs that hit you.

0:11:25 – Kayla
Yeah, that’s not going too well, but that’s OK. So yeah, here we are Gray hair and all.

0:11:32 – Brian
I have one more I’d like to add as a bonus. I love doing life with Miss Kay. That makes me happy.

0:11:39 – Kayla
We have some grand adventures planned this year.

0:11:41 – Brian
We do, and I want to continue to do adventures and stories and make memories, so those are things that I’m not going to change.

0:11:49 – Kayla
Yeah. So we would encourage you, take a hard look at your life and ask yourself, even as you’re struggling with things that maybe God is convicting you of and that’s OK that we’re not going to sit here today and share the things that he’s challenging us on and there are some but what are a couple of three things that you really love about yourself? They define who you are or what you find delight in, and maybe chase hard after those this year.

0:12:20 – Brian
That’s good wisdom, miss Kay. Breaking news Now. Miss Kay, I want to ask you a question.

0:12:28 – Kayla
Literally breaking news.

0:12:29 – Brian
I want to ask you a question what would you do, how would you react, if you’re on an airplane and the door blew off? I mean, you’re up at 25,000 feet and the door blew off the airplane. This just happened.

0:12:46 – Kayla
OK, we’re being brutally honest. Yes, I would probably miss my pants and cuss. I am sorry. That is as real as I can get.

0:12:58 – Brian
What can?

0:12:58 – Kayla
Brown do for you. Oh stop, it would just. That’s the least of reactions I would probably have.

0:13:07 – Brian
Because you know, as soon as that door blew off, they say oh my gosh. They said nobody stand up. Well, let me just say first, I’m going to need to potty break, I am going to have to get up.

0:13:17 – Kayla
I think that’s going to take care of himself.

0:13:19 – Brian
I’m going to aim my high and end toward that open door. Ok, that’s what I’m going to do. She’s gone, oh my gosh. Ok. Second, I’d probably scream like a girl Uh-huh. Ok. Third, I’m probably going to say some words that a Christian Presbyterian shouldn’t say.

0:13:39 – Kayla
Well, I’ve admitted that OK.

0:13:41 – Brian
I’m just. I’m just saying Cause you’re at 30,000 feet.

0:13:46 – Kayla
I’d be wanting you to hold me.

0:13:48 – Brian
I’ll be honest I would hold your hand but you look to your left and you can see Aunt Thelma’s farm below you at 30,000 feet and there’s nothing between you and that farm.

0:14:01 – Kayla
In case you all do not know what we’re referencing. There was an actual breaking news story Alaskan Airlines flight, a panel blew out of the plane because a bolt was loose. The kid sitting next to it sucked the shirt off his body.

0:14:18 – Brian
Okay, now think about that.

0:14:21 – Kayla
I did, and this is I told you, this is why I sit with so much travel anxiety, fear, irrational, irrational is based on things like this.

0:14:34 – Brian
I’m just saying that little fingers are her as a tap in that table right now.

0:14:38 – Kayla
It’s just terrifying. And my dear friend Shelly, her husband works in the airline industry and she said, oh, you wouldn’t believe the other things I said.

0:14:49 – Brian
And I’m never going to know. I don’t want to know.

0:14:51 – Kayla
I don’t want to know.

0:14:52 – Brian
But there was on a flight one time where they had duct tape on a wing. They had a fuel leak. I remember that and I actually took a picture of it and I’m like I mean, I didn’t realize it till he’s up in the air and I’m like, well, this could end badly. Hope nobody’s smoking and throws a cigarette after lights his own fire.

0:15:07 – Kayla
Yeah.

0:15:08 – Brian
That was a joke. That went over. That just okay. Irrational fears about traveling for me getting sick away from home. Years ago I went on a guy’s trip from the cemetery. You had a kidney stone, I had a kidney stone, yeah, and it was.

0:15:23 – Kayla
I had to call her doctor at like three in the morning and ask her to translate.

0:15:27 – Brian
I did not want to go to a doctor in Italy with that kind of a problem and not be able to speak.

0:15:34 – Kayla
Yeah, English.

0:15:34 – Brian
Okay, yeah, so there’s that you.

0:15:37 – Kayla
So we did. We talked about irrational fears that surface when you hear of things like this. And so one of mine. I’m just keeping it real. This is the kind of news I’m not here for. I can deal with delayed flights, no in-flight surface cramped seating. I’ve actually had someone pass out drunk on me on a flight.

0:16:01 – Brian
Okay, and I was, it wasn’t me. Okay, it wasn’t me.

0:16:06 – Kayla
We were in one of those situations where it was a three-seater and the guy to my right passed out and I was terrified that he was going to get sick on me at some point. And you kept telling me, pushing back the other way. I’m like I’m afraid to move him, so I’d push him. But I just have this fear of someone being ill in my space and there’s nowhere I can go.

0:16:35 – Brian
So Fears for out flying for me, people being rude or disrespectful to you or me. We boarded a flight one time and I’m a larger man. I have to have a seat belt extension, yeah, and we asked, and we don’t fly this particular airline anymore because of this thing, and she says, gosh she threw it at you, she threw it at me and she made a comment like all you fat people need these extensions.

0:16:59 – Kayla
Yeah, and I worry about. Will our luggage arrive at our destination?

0:17:05 – Brian
I worry about that because not everybody sells my size clothes.

0:17:09 – Kayla
Well, it may not be easy to get clothes regardless, so I just I do worry about that. I’m sneaking around, I worry about, will we miss a flight?

0:17:19 – Brian
I don’t worry about that. They’ll get me on another one.

0:17:21 – Kayla
Well, hopefully, but how long are we gonna have to camp out in the airport?

0:17:24 – Brian
So a big one of mine is I have a CPAP machine. Yeah and I stress continually that is it gonna break, as I’m taking it through the airport and on the plane.

0:17:36 – Kayla
Just try to be very careful and baby that and.

0:17:40 – Brian
It’s in a bad I don’t get so when we get to our hotel, the first thing I do you always plug in your CPAP always hook it up, make sure everything works, works right.

0:17:49 – Kayla
What if someone loses their mind and does something stupid mid-flight? I always worry about that.

0:17:55 – Brian
I was on a flight. This is back when we lived in New Orleans. We had a radio station in New Orleans, one in Atlanta. I used to fly the red-eye flight out of New Orleans to Atlanta every other week. I got on the that flight that particular morning and a woman Five, six rolls up, started screaming yeah, and this is before we took off, and she started beating the wall like taking her fist, and the cops came on and escorted her off.

0:18:22 – Kayla
But what if that’s mid-flight? I mean, it’s just I wonder, I mean they. They’re trained in how to well, they’re trying.

0:18:28 – Brian
I mean, here’s my thing. Why can’t you hit her with like a tranquilizer?

0:18:31 – Kayla
Oh my gosh.

0:18:32 – Brian
Okay, I’m serious. What’s wrong with that? Put her tail out till we land on the ground. You think that’s wrong to me?

0:18:39 – Kayla
I mean I wouldn’t say wrong, maybe a little harsh, but okay, I often worry about what if we have severe turbulence.

0:18:49 – Brian
You went through severe turbulence.

0:18:50 – Kayla
I did. I was coming back from you and I had been.

0:18:54 – Brian
Atlanta to New Orleans on a vacation.

0:18:57 – Kayla
We got as far as Kentucky and learned that, due to a hurricane, they were not going to be able to fly us into New Orleans, so we stayed in Atlanta. And then what they said once the Quote whether clears, we will resume flights and at that point you and I was staying in you were staying in Atlanta for work and I needed to fly on to New Orleans.

They made clear that once the flights resumed, I would need to take the first available flight. Well, the storm had not completely cleared the area, but they were resuming flights. They felt it was safe. Um, that is probably the worst flight I’ve ever been on. The flight attendants were seated the entire time. There was no Moving around the cabin. It was. The pilot was coming on about every 10 minutes to assure us that they were expecting it to be a bumpy ride and it was terrible. I have never been between the plane shaking and just the pressure that we felt Going around the the storm. I was very glad to be on land.

0:20:05 – Brian
Uh, also, we had been to turkey to do the seven churches of revelation tour. On the way back you had a wisdom tooth get impacted. I did and that was awful.

0:20:19 – Kayla
That was not a fun experience.

0:20:20 – Brian
We took off normal. When we landed, everything was fine. I did.

0:20:24 – Kayla
It was funny looking, but it was a horrible, it wasn’t bless your heart.

0:20:28 – Brian
So yeah, in the event, the next day we took you to the dentist. So yeah that’s a. That’s the only health issue I’ve ever seen on a. I mean, I’ve never been sick on a plane, have you? I mean other than that, don’t say that I’m not saying that out loud.

0:20:40 – Kayla
There’s always the first time. So yeah, so okay, I’d be really good moving forward if we could keep all the panels on the planes and you know, just calm down.

0:20:52 – Brian
And okay, one of the thing about another airline declared after that.

0:20:56 – Kayla
We won’t name any names. They were inspecting all of their planes that fit that category.

0:21:02 – Brian
They found loose bolts on several doors.

0:21:04 – Kayla
And I went. Brian were never flying that airline, so One last fact about this, about this goody the door that flew off the Alaskan airline.

0:21:14 – Brian
Uh-huh, an iPhone flew out. Yeah fell 16,000 feet. It did not crack the screen.

0:21:21 – Kayla
You just had to say that, didn’t? You had to get that in there, I think the the person who found it.

0:21:27 – Brian
It wasn’t on a lock screen.

0:21:29 – Kayla
Oh, Steve Jobs would be so proud.

0:21:30 – Brian
He would, he would I just, I find that kind of stuff in me. But it landed in a bush and they say that’s what saved it. It landed in a bush so anyway, hey, thanks for listening to this week’s broadcast, and we have for you A mug and a pack of stickers.

0:21:47 – Kayla
We’ll give away to two people.

0:21:48 – Brian
Okay, two people.

0:21:50 – Kayla
And thank you to all of our friends who answered last week’s question. Yes, but Kimberly answered last week’s question the first two people to go to our way. We had someone else as well, I think in my email but Answered this question correctly.

0:22:05 – Brian
Okay.

0:22:06 – Kayla
What is one thing that you’re holding on to this year?

0:22:12 – Brian
that you like that you like about yourself.

0:22:14 – Kayla
That’s a good answer.

0:22:15 – Brian
So what’s one thing you’re gonna share with us?

0:22:17 – Kayla
something that makes you new, uniquely you okay.

0:22:21 – Brian
So here’s the deal we want you to answer that question, and if you do, you’re going to win a coffee mug and go to our website, which is peasandcarrotspodcast.com. When you get there, what do you do? Look for the trivia button click it and you answer the question.

0:22:34 – Kayla
What is one thing that makes you uniquely, you that you love about yourself?

0:22:39 – Brian
If going to answer that. You can go to peasandcarrotspodcast.com and you click the trivia button.

0:22:46 – Kayla
You can search the peas and carrots podcast wherever you get your podcasts, or visit our website again. That’s peasandcarrotspodcast.com. When you do, please don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast.

0:22:57 – Brian
You can also follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Just search for the peas and carrots podcast.

0:23:03 – Announcer
For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Life’s not perfect. That’s why god gave us friends like melody and candy. Check out quirksbumpsandbruises.com, or search quirks, bumps and bruises wherever you listen to podcasts.

 

 

 

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Season 3, Episode 1: “Wait, What?”

"Wait,What?" - Episode Description

Happy New Year! Welcome back for Season 3 of the Peas and Carrots podcast! Brian and Kayla kick off this episode by sharing all about their Christmas break and the hilarious things they heard people say over the holidays. Then Brian and Kayla dive into an inspiring discussion about what they will be setting down as they leave 2023, and what they are carrying in to 2024. Also, listen in for a surprise visit from Godzilla!

 

"Wait,What?" - Transcript

 00:00:00 – Announcer
We go together like peas and carrots! The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch Brian and Kayla Sanders.

0:00:11 – Brian
Welcome to season three of the Peas and Carrots Podcast. Hello, I’m Brian. I’m Kayla and Season three miss. I’m peas and I’m, I’m carrots.

0:00:24 – Kayla
This is who we are.

0:00:25 – Brian
This is who we are. So if you want to find out more, go back and listen to the old episode. We there. You just gonna say okay, so Welcome to season.

0:00:35 – Kayla
This is who we are.

0:00:37 – Brian
You know, we ain’t gonna explain ourselves to you people one of us would, but never mind.

0:00:42 – Kayla
So Well, who of us?

0:00:44 – Brian
Would you think you me? She’s the kinder of the two of us.

0:00:47 – Kayla
No, that’s not what I was saying.

0:00:50 – Brian
It doesn’t matter if you say I’m into details.

0:00:53 – Kayla
I will put it that way so okay before we digress, what’s up in the world of peas and carrots?

0:00:59 – Brian
well, we had a peaceful and relaxing Christmas.

0:01:04 – Kayla
We did.

0:01:07 – Brian
I am thankful for that.

0:01:09 – Kayla
It was we had the Friday off before the holiday and the Monday after for Christmas, of course, and, and I should say the weekend, the Friday before, the weekend, the Monday after, and it was four days of just Snacks and movies and reading Christmas story naps.

0:01:32 – Brian
Yeah, it was good, so it was great, and We’ve picked up a new hobby.

0:01:39 – Kayla
I shouldn’t say new, we picked this back up we used to do this all the time we’re working puzzles and we’re puzzling.

0:01:47 – Brian
So, and I get aggravated.

0:01:50 – Kayla
And, I get so tickled at you. This is hard.

0:01:53 – Brian
Like no, and then you say I do something else when we’re puzzling, like I’ll be sitting, you grunt.

0:01:58 – Kayla
It is the funniest thing I don’t hear myself like what you just kind of go. Then it’s when you’re trying to figure something out. You’ll just be trying to piece things together and you go Over and over and over.

0:02:12 – Brian
So we actually have a puzzle at home. We do, and we also have one at the office.

0:02:17 – Kayla
So what started this is. I was reading about ways to Enjoy winter instead of enduring it, and one of those was to tap into things that give you comfort. So I started brainstorming what are some things that, at work, we can do during breaks and downtime? So I just brought a puzzle and I watched the number of team members who have come through our office and just sat down For ten minutes to work the puzzle. I thought, okay, we’re on to something here. And then you told me I’d really like to do a puzzle at home.

So, this weekend we picked up some puzzles.

0:02:55 – Brian
We finished a star, would you like. Star Wars was our first on it. It’s really hard.

0:03:00 – Kayla
Yeah, I and you buy these 500. So we’re going to do another 500 piece puzzle Right.

0:03:05 – Brian
And so when I hear 500 piece, I’m thinking like kitty. And these are not kitty puzzles no no. It kind of aggravate me a little bit. So, ladies and gentlemen, it has begun. So at the time of this recording, there’s chatter about a potential winter storm.

0:03:23 – Kayla
There is potentially Saturday, anywhere from one inch of snow to 10 inches of snow, depending on who you’re listening to.

0:03:30 – Brian
Yes, so yeah, stay tuned. Now I’m going to say this I don’t mind if it snows, I don’t want to be trapped in no house for three days. We’ve got puzzles. I will not be trapped in that house for three days. I will go nuts.

0:03:43 – Kayla
We’ve got puzzles and snacks. Is that better?

0:03:46 – Brian
Like snacks.

0:03:47 – Kayla
There we go.

0:03:48 – Brian
All about snacks.

0:03:52 – Kayla
So we thought we’d have a little fun.

0:03:53 – Brian
She has been so excited about this topic.

0:03:56 – Kayla
She has talked about Going into the holiday I told B I want you to make note of and we did not compare notes before today, but I said I want you to make note of things that you heard or were said over the holidays.

0:04:10 – Brian
I’m just talking about some of what you have written. I said some of these things.

0:04:14 – Kayla
Yeah, you did.

0:04:16 – Brian
That’s wrong.

0:04:17 – Kayla
No, it’s not, so go ahead explain what we’re doing here. There’s may have been broken. You know it’s the holiday, so let’s keep that in mind. But, for example, I overheard the following the weekend before Christmas Any exciting weekend plans? And the response was we’re getting two new toilets for Christmas. You wanted to die, oh my gosh. Well we did get two new toilets for Christmas.

Not for Christmas. Before Christmas, I asked you to please stop telling people that we bought each other a toilet for Christmas. They were pricey. I don’t care, they were not our Christmas presents.

0:05:00 – Brian
I couldn’t find a way to wrap them up, though, so all right, apparently, I said the next one you did. Okay, how’s your leg? Have you thought about putting febrize on it? And I say that a lot.

0:05:17 – Kayla
You meant to say biofries, biofries, but I guess you wanted my leg to be fresh and I don’t know.

0:05:24 – Brian
Well, you don’t stink, I don’t, but I don’t know why I say febrize. But, I got tickled at that. And if you do febrize. I like that, I like the apple cranberry scent.

0:05:33 – Kayla
Okay, good to know, I really say febrize, you said febrize, you did.

0:05:37 – Brian
Well, I got tickled at that Be like that old fella in that big fat Greek wedding.

0:05:41 – Kayla
Windex, windex, windex.

0:05:44 – Brian
On your hip. That’ll fix it.

0:05:46 – Kayla
Actually said, no reference needed. I try not to be a cranky old man, but people get on my nerves.

0:05:56 – Brian
I’m guessing I said that, did I say?

0:05:59 – Kayla
that you did.

0:06:00 – Brian
Well, I’m coming to learn that people don’t have to get on my nerves to be a cranky old man. Oh, all right, I think I’m just cranky. Okay, so that’s just me, okay.

0:06:15 – Kayla
I may have said this one.

0:06:17 – Brian
Okay, is this a glimpse into our retirement years, drinking hot tea and working puzzles?

0:06:23 – Kayla
I just kind of felt like a retirement home.

0:06:26 – Brian
Well, you put that for breeze, that bio freeze on you. I said it there to give you Put that bio freeze.

0:06:32 – Kayla
Bio freeze and we’ve got it lit.

0:06:35 – Brian
And you’ll and we’ll smell like the ward at a nursing home. So where’s that?

0:06:42 – Kayla
Getting a head start. So, may have said I’ve decided I’m not going off the rails with my eating this Christmas. I’ll never forget that. My grand declaration on like Wednesday.

0:06:57 – Brian
And two days later I hear this you think our daily bread still has Christmas sugar cookies. So I went and bought you six. You did.

0:07:07 – Kayla
I was the proud owner of six.

0:07:08 – Brian
They were massive, they were huge.

0:07:09 – Kayla
I ate one for breakfast every day.

0:07:12 – Brian
I didn’t have a second.

0:07:12 – Kayla
Well, I can’t have coffee and a sugar cookie. It was heaven.

0:07:15 – Brian
You were in, yeah.

0:07:17 – Kayla
I swear If I have to hear Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer one more time on the radio.

0:07:23 – Brian
All the time that and that rocking around the Christmas tree, and that.

0:07:29 – Kayla
Now disclaimer. You love Christmas music, but there’s a window of time for you.

0:07:34 – Brian
There’s a window of time and have a holly jolly After the 80th time I’m ready to. You know you’re not as holly and jolly I’m sick of it, okay. Man. I really am a cranky old man. I need to pray a little bit more.

0:07:51 – Kayla
This one made me laugh. I had to turn around in the store.

0:07:57 – Brian
We were at Target and we were buying cough syrup because we had to restock something. And we’re buying this cough syrup and the young lady checking us out at Target says sir, I need to see your ID to see if you’re old enough to buy that cough syrup. And she go ahead and she’s serious Like I. First I paused and looked at her, but she was here. My beard is what color, Miss Kayla?

0:08:24 – Kayla
Well, it’s gray and white, it’s gray and white in her defense.

0:08:28 – Brian
She was a newer team member.

0:08:30 – Kayla
I don’t care, she was just doing a job.

0:08:32 – Brian
A monkey can tell me how old I am.

0:08:35 – Kayla
Your next one. We were at Olive Garden and what did you hear?

0:08:40 – Brian
As we were leaving, somebody said wow, that’s a big noodle. They were like I’ve never heard that before at Olive Garden. It’s how you in restaurant.

0:08:51 – Kayla
They weren’t going to be hungry when they were. No, but I mean okay.

0:08:56 – Brian
So we’re in Barnes and Noble, we’re in Barnes and Noble and you’re in your little area and I’m in my area and I usually go to the Christian section and I’m in the Bible section. I like to look at that kind of stuff and there’s a clerk and there’s a customer.

0:09:12 – Kayla
Okay, there’s a service desk right near the Christian section.

0:09:16 – Brian
So at the Barnes and Noble, this customer asked the clerk for an audio book and the clerk says sir, we don’t sell audio books, you download it to your phone. The customer said I have it on my phone, I can listen to it on my phone, I just want the audio so I can take it anywhere. Now it’s at that point. I tune in because this cat Hold up a second yes, he says I have it on my phone.

Take your phone with you, exactly. And the clerk, who is now confused, says sir, if you have on your phone, you can take it anywhere. And the guy says well, what if I lose my phone? Like I’m trying hard not to stare, like is this, like I’m thinking I’m on an episode of something, okay? He says what if I lose my phone? I still want the audio version. The clerk says if you sync it across devices, then you can listen to it on any device. And the customer says I guess I’m after. What I’m after is the audio, so I can take it anywhere. Now here’s my. Does this guy think that the audio can fit in your hand? Like?

0:10:24 – Kayla
in his defense.

0:10:26 – Brian
No, no, there is no defense. Stop it. You’re being too nice to people. Stop it.

0:10:32 – Kayla
I’m wondering if he meant like with a kindle or something. Well, kindles don’t have audio, do they?

0:10:40 – Brian
Probably but, he’s got a phone.

0:10:41 – Kayla
Okay, you’re getting a little wound up about this.

0:10:44 – Brian
You go in there and you ask for an audio book.

0:10:46 – Kayla
Okay, Walter, we’re moving on now.

0:10:49 – Brian
I don’t appreciate. Do you want to tell people why you call me Walter?

0:10:53 – Kayla
Because sometimes you act like a cranky old man. And there’s the mannequin.

0:10:57 – Brian
There’s the Jeff Dunham and puppet that he calls Walter.

0:11:01 – Kayla
We were out to dinner on New Year’s Eve.

0:11:02 – Brian
Well, I’m not done with this fella. No, we’re done.

0:11:04 – Kayla
No, we’re done. We’re done with this fella. We’re moving on. New Year’s Eve, fast forward, wonderful dinner. You ordered the prime rib, you have this. They brought out half a cow.

0:11:13 – Brian
I asked how big the steak was. Seriously, I wanted to be too big and he said 10 ounces. It was huge that steak had to be.

0:11:20 – Kayla
You got three meals out of it.

0:11:22 – Brian
It was massive y’all, and so I couldn’t eat any of all of it. I had to eat about a third of it, okay.

0:11:29 – Kayla
Yeah.

0:11:31 – Brian
Well, when they deliver it now we’ve struck up a conversation and a friendship with the owner during this time they deliver the prime rib and the owner walks by and he goes, ooh, says you’re the first customer to have ordered that this evening. I’m looking forward. I’m excited to see you eat that. Now, wait a minute. I ain’t going to sit here and let you watch me eat this, but I’d sit there and eat it. He’d come by and he’d fist bump me and that kind of stuff.

0:11:54 – Kayla
But he wanted to make sure you were enjoying your meal. So we did. We sent our best regards to the chefs they had done an amazing job and to our friends who live in the New River Valley or even if you’re within like an hour or two of Christiansburg, go to Bull and Bones in Christiansburg.

0:12:11 – Brian
It’s incredible you will enjoy it was amazing, your meal.

0:12:15 – Kayla
It was stellar.

0:12:17 – Brian
You had filet medallions.

0:12:19 – Kayla
I got filet medallions with grilled shrimp and sweet potato casserole.

0:12:23 – Brian
They were in a garlic butter sauce.

0:12:26 – Kayla
Yeah. So, and sweet potatoes and broccoli.

0:12:30 – Brian
It was good.

0:12:30 – Kayla
It was very, very good.

0:12:31 – Brian
It was. I’ll just tell you that the Bull and Bones in Christiansburg had a thing going. It was called Old Farts, new Year’s Eve, okay, and they were going to drop a ball Toasting at 9 pm yeah. Toast at 9 o’clock and drop this ball at 9 o’clock, so everybody go home and go to bed Now. Our reservations were at 7.

0:12:48 – Kayla
We made it to 8.30. Okay, then went home.

0:12:52 – Brian
Right, because we live two minutes from the restaurant.

0:12:54 – Kayla
Yeah. So, yeah, it was fun. I mean yeah, it was great.

0:12:58 – Brian
I’d say go to Bull and Bones.

0:12:59 – Kayla
Yes, definitely give them a chance.

0:13:04 – Brian
All right, it’s time to get serious.

0:13:06 – Kayla
Just for a minute.

0:13:07 – Brian
Okay.

0:13:08 – Kayla
But we welcome you to join us in this.

0:13:10 – Brian
Okay.

0:13:12 – Kayla
There’s a lot of things coming out of 2023. You’re seeing it, whether people want to call it their intentions or their goals, or they want to talk about, Resolutions.

Their word for the year, or we’re kind of putting a different spin on this, because for us, honestly, for the first time in a long time, you and I have chosen a word for the year. We feel God leading us in a certain direction. That’s not what we’re going to share today, though. We’ve been asking each other this question, I guess technically two questions what are we setting down as we leave 2023? What are we hoping to leave in 2023?nAnd what are we carrying into 2024? And so we just something to think about. If you’re really struggling with, well, I don’t have goals, I don’t have resolutions, it’s not a bad thing, but what are some things in your mind and in your heart? You know, I need to put this down and leave it there, and in 2024, I’m going to pick this up and carry it. So be give us an example.

0:14:27 – Brian
I’m going to put down that everyone has to love and accept me. I’m going to leave that behind, going to try, Because that’s a big struggle for me and I’m going to pick up that Jesus and Miss Kayla love and accept me Now. For me that’s a big deal because I want everybody to be happy and I feel love and appreciated when I mean, that’s just how I’m wired and it’s brokenness and that’s something I’ve been reading about lately. So I’m gonna try and leave that behind, that Brian is still okay and that it’s enough that Jesus and you love me. So that’s me. That’s my first you.

0:15:14 – Kayla
Kind of along the same thought process. What is going on? You just picked up a Godzilla and sat it down in front of you.

0:15:23 – Brian
I just don’t worry about him, Keep going. Things are gonna leave things are gonna leave. Godzilla is apparently not one of them. I’ve been watching a lot of movies. I just wanted to.

0:15:34 – Kayla
Okay, can you pay attention?

0:15:38 – Brian
What do you think? The answer to that question is no. Okay, then why are we asking?

0:15:44 – Kayla
I am going to put down other people’s expectations and their disappointment, and what I mean by that is you and I are both wired that we want everyone around us, everyone to be happy, to be comfortable. We wanna make sure that nobody is disappointed in us or disappointed in something that they expected of us. But I’m going to pick up just doing my best to love others well, practicing healthy boundaries and living into what God has called me to do, and if any of that is a disappointment to someone, then I’m gonna have to let them sit with that.

0:16:32 – Brian
And this is.

0:16:33 – Kayla
And that’s gonna be hard. Well, I just didn’t always go share this much.

0:16:36 – Brian
I mean, I’m kind of Well I didn’t know Godzilla was joining our podcast.

0:16:39 – Kayla
He is always in here, but here we are.

0:16:41 – Brian
Okay, I wanted to take a picture to promote the podcast.

0:16:44 – Kayla
Onto your next one. Well, I’m not sure how he fits, but anyway Onto your next one.

0:16:51 – Brian
All the hate for Godzilla, I’m gonna put down managing and leading toward a bank balance instead of chasing a dream, and that’s something that’s been really impressed upon.

0:17:03 – Kayla
For our organization, for the organization For the organization. Because I’m continuing to pursue our bank balance at home. Yes, I understand. Okay, very good.

0:17:12 – Brian
Okay, because you need a dream to chase.

0:17:15 – Kayla
Yes.

0:17:16 – Brian
You need a.

0:17:17 – Kayla
And some wise advisors nudged you on this, so I’m glad to see it.

0:17:22 – Brian
I love them.

0:17:23 – Kayla
So this one scares me. But, I’m going, I’m done with him, okay.

0:17:30 – Brian
You should see the look I’m getting.

0:17:33 – Kayla
I am setting down, playing it safe, and I am picking up doing a lot of things this year that scare me, but I will show up and this is in my work and personal life. Let us pray.

0:17:48 – Brian
You’re saying you’re gonna get a little bit more spots.

0:17:52 – Kayla
Not even promised that. There’s no spontaneity in that. That word wasn’t in there. Don’t be.

0:17:58 – Brian
don’t be reading, All right, I apologize, I did not see that word there. Okay, I’m going to put down that food. Feels a hole in my heart. I’m picking up what Jesus says about me and what Jesus is that. He’s enough. He’s good. The only thing with all my food, with my full allergies, with my wish I had full allergies, but with my food allergies, the only thing I can really sneak off and get now would be like tacos and but you don’t do that.

You really don’t. Not much. Since I got food allergies, I risked chicken. You have a good potato chip. I do, and I love chicken tendies, but they came back to bite me one day. Chicken tendies, that’s what the kids call them. What, okay, you don’t think that’s what kids call them.

0:18:46 – Kayla
Tenders, but okay.

0:18:48 – Brian
They are called chicken tendies. Okay, really, that’s what the kids Okay, kids call them chicken tendies okay.

0:18:56 – Kayla
Okay, if you say so.

0:18:59 – Brian
You call them Chicken tenders. Well, if you go on the Instagram, Okay.

0:19:05 – Kayla
I’ll take your word for it.

0:19:07 – Brian
They’re called chicken tendies.

0:19:08 – Kayla
I’m old now to touch and I’m good with that, so I Am going to come back to my last one and skip down, so Kind of in agreement with you, and again we did not come here.

0:19:20 – Brian
Here’s a moment say that again.

0:19:22 – Kayla
Kind of in agreement with you. We agree about a lot, just not Godzilla. I’m going to set down my love of junk food and if you’ve listened to any of our episodes where I’ve confessed I have a very strong Like of sugar and all things that are sweet chicken tendies. Well, I do like chicken tenders, but yes, but this year I am adding nutrition to my health journey and our trainer is actually going to be advising us on ways to make wise food choices so not only are we doing the yeah like the workout with our trainer this year but,

0:20:02 – Brian
we’re also picking up nutrition, oh he should pay me for eating this stuff he’s putting in front of us. No, not really yes, but he’s just giving you advice.

0:20:14 – Kayla
So there’s that he’s not forcing food on you. I think he is.

0:20:19 – Brian
I’m going to put down the fear of people being unhappy when I make certain decisions and I’m picking up, I’m picking back up that I am to lead the last three years or so have been really hard to lead through COVID.

0:20:33 – Kayla
Coming out of COVID. Yes kind of survival mode. Yes and Dancing delicately around and you’re coming out of it.

0:20:44 – Brian
I’m coming out of it, okay, so.

0:20:46 – Kayla
My final one is I am setting down my mindless television watching and doom scrolling on my phone. I Want to read at least one book a week.

0:20:57 – Brian
Wow.

0:20:59 – Kayla
For me I’ve set limits for myself with social media. I actually have set the app to where it tells me you’ve hit your daily limit and I have. I started this back in December that Instagram to tell you yes back at the first of December, I learned from someone that you can actually set your Instagram to tell you that it’s time to log off.

0:21:23 – Brian
I’m not ready to take that plunge.

0:21:24 – Kayla
I didn’t think I was and, but I did it and it’s probably one of the best things I’ve ever done, really.

0:21:30 – Brian
So I’m only average. Respond to certain reels I share with you.

0:21:34 – Kayla
It’s why I don’t respond to a lot, and it’s not because I don’t love people, oh, it’s just that that’s not a priority of mine.

0:21:42 – Brian
Text me, I’ll text you back, but Instagram is so if I text you a real, will you see it that way?

0:21:48 – Kayla
No, you need to stop. I will continue to enjoy social media, but just in smaller doses. I will enjoy shows and movies with you.

0:21:59 – Brian
We just started watching.

0:22:00 – Kayla
But I want them to add value, not just fill time. I’d rather fill it with books.

0:22:06 – Brian
We just started rewatching.

0:22:07 – Kayla
No down to Nami.

0:22:08 – Brian
That’s trying to say it right. I want to say downtown, but it’s down to nothing. So all right, so there you go.

0:22:15 – Kayla
So there you are.

0:22:16 – Brian
There’s season three, episode one in the can, as the professionals say, hey, we want to continue to send you.

0:22:31 – Kayla
We would love to gift somebody a coffee mug and some stickers. So for the first two people, I mean, we’ve done more than two at one time. If you go to our website, look for the trivia button. If you click that, what is our website be?

0:22:48 – Brian
peas and carrots podcast.

0:22:50 – Kayla
So, if you’ll go there, click the trivia button. Answer the question.

0:22:53 – Brian
This week’s question is oh, what is one thing you’re carrying into 2024? What’s one thing you’re going to do in 2024?

0:23:02 – Kayla
So share that with us. Be brave, tell us what you’re doing and we may check in on you later in the year.

0:23:08 – Brian
Just see how probably not, she probably will I probably won’t. I will check. She’s the nicer one of the two.

0:23:15 – Kayla
But go to our website answer the question. We have adorable stickers. I think they’re adorable and we hear they are from various people use the word adorable. That’s okay, but you do like the mug, I do. It’s a nice mug, so again our way.

0:23:29 – Brian
Our website is peas and carrots podcast calm. You look for the trivia button. Click that and answer this question.

0:23:35 – Kayla
What is one thing you are carrying into 2024?

0:23:39 – Brian
Hey, thanks for listening this week. You can search the peas and carrots podcast wherever you get your podcast, or visit our website at peas and carrots podcast common. When you do, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast and when you go there to our website or find us on social media, drop a line about how appreciative you are that, like the Godzilla made an appearance in this week’s episode. You Should see the look why are you.

0:24:08 – Kayla
You can follow us on Facebook and Instagram. No requirement to reference Godzilla, just search for them.

0:24:17 – Brian
He’s very in carrots.

0:24:19 – Kayla
He has no feelings.

0:24:20 – Brian
Do you know, if you watch the Godzilla movie backward? It’s about a benevolent it’s. It’s about this loving lizard who rebuilds a town.

0:24:27 – Kayla
I’m done.

0:24:28 – Announcer
For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peas and carrots podcast. Calm, growing through the challenges we face and finding hope along the way. That’s the Jesus Fix It Podcast with Jess. Check out Jesus Fix It calm or search Jesus fix it wherever you listen to podcasts.

 

 

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