Season 3, Episode 28: Highs & Lows

Can We Talk?
Not Home Yet - Episode Description

Reflections on 31 years. 

Highs & Lows - Transcript

00:00 – Announcer (None)

We go together like peas and carrots the peas and carrots podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch Brian and Kayla Sanders. 

 

00:11 – Kayla (None)

Welcome to the peas and carrots podcast. I’m Brian and I’m Kayla. Welcome to this week’s edition. Oh, the Olympics. 

 

00:20 – Brian (None)

They’re almost over, aren’t they? They are well by the time this. 

 

00:23 – Kayla (None)

By the time this drops, I think they will have officially ended. But I forgot how much I love the Olympics. Baby, they just be. It’s the power of the story. I get that it is. You forget what each athlete has overcome. 

 

00:41 – Brian (None)

People shouldn’t be wearing this stuff. 

 

00:43 – Kayla (None)

Now listen, don’t start this. We’re keeping this family friendly and positive. 

 

00:50 – Brian (None)

I’m not dressing like this. 

 

00:52 – Kayla (None)

Think about watching those families sitting in those stands cheering for their kids and their sisters and their brothers. 

 

01:00 – Brian (None)

And with Snoop Dogg there next to him. 

 

01:02 – Kayla (None)

Oh, okay, can we just say that he is the best thing that ever happened to the olympics together are just hilarious. 

 

01:09 – Brian (None)

I just love watching them. I have enjoyed the swimming, some of the gymnastics I have really enjoyed that’s. That’s been fun, this shooting a rifle thing, I just I didn’t watch any of that. It was on TV one Saturday. 

 

01:28 – Kayla (None)

See, that was a choice that you made, but I’ve just, I’ve been all in for this one. Not that it’s any different than any other Olympics. 

 

01:38 – Brian (None)

And we have the closing ceremonies coming up. 

 

01:41 – Kayla (None)

So, yeah, not sure if we’ll see those or not, because we are headed where soon To the beach we are headed to the beach. 

 

01:49 – Brian (None)

For our 31st wedding anniversary. 

 

01:52 – Kayla (None)

We are. 

 

01:53 – Brian (None)

We have some friends coming down to join us. 

 

01:54 – Kayla (None)

We do, we’re going to spend a few days by ourselves, and then we have some friends coming to spend. Actually it’s my bestie and her husband and they’re coming to spend a few days with us and you guys are going to what? 

 

02:05 – Brian (None)

Go play some golf. You are Hope I can walk and move my hands the next day, Arthritis. I mean, I couldn’t even. Just to be honest, I couldn’t even go to the gym today because of it. 

 

02:21 – Kayla (None)

But I’m excited. I mean I’ll tank. If you want to use Febreze, you go right ahead. 

 

02:25 – Brian (None)

May not help with your arthritis but you’ll smell good, stop, okay, so Biofreeze. But here we are, I’m excited. I am glad we were not at the beach this week Tropical Storm Debbie has. Yeah, and the day that this episode drops the day you’re listening. Well, let me just say this the day that this episode drops, the day you’re listening. 

 

02:49 – Kayla (None)

Well, let me just say this Not the day that you’re listening to it, possibly, but the day this episode drops, we will celebrate 31 years of marriage. 

 

02:54 – Brian (None)

Yeah, I asked you what could I get you for our 31st wedding anniversary. What was your answer? You. 

 

03:02 – Kayla (None)

No, it’s not what you said. That is what I said you said get me to the beach. To spend time with you Okay that’s sweet. 

 

03:09 – Brian (None)

I looked up what the 31st wedding anniversary gift is and it’s not very exciting. 

 

03:13 – Kayla (None)

What is it? I’m curious. I can’t remember now. Oh, it was that good. 

 

03:16 – Brian (None)

It was not a good. I mean, I’ll get you. 

 

03:19 – Kayla (None)

No, we had this conversation. It drives me crazy when you spend big money on flowers and then I have to throw them away and it makes my heart hurt. 

 

03:29 – Brian (None)

Oh, pearls, I forgot. 

 

03:31 – Kayla (None)

Pearls? Oh Well, I already have those, that’s why. So there we go, happy anniversary. 

 

03:38 – Brian (None)

I mean, they’re not exciting to me, but you like them, yeah. So yeah, happy anniversary, darling. I’d do it all over again. 

 

03:44 – Kayla (None)

Me too. There is a quote we shared on a recent podcast that our entire team had come together and we had summer camp together. We delightfully spent three hours with Dr Natalie Pickering and she walked us through the Enneagram During that time. She shared this quote with us and it has stuck with you and I. Everything that irritates us about others illuminates something about ourselves. 

 

04:22 – Brian (None)

Lord, yes. 

 

04:24 – Kayla (None)

And we’ve been kind of chewing over that you even actually you had our team discuss it this week in like their daily morning thoughts. How is this true? 

 

04:38 – Brian (None)

It’s true, because there are certain things in other people that drive me up a wall. Certain things in other people drive me up a wall. And it’s true. It’s true for every single one of us, because I don’t want to say this. It’s like sandpaper. It’s like that particular characteristics of that person. It gets up next to you and it’s like sandpaper, just rubbing up against you. 

 

05:02 – Kayla (None)

Yeah, and so but often it’s as if God is holding up a mirror to us and the things that are irritating us are because we really know about ourselves. It may be a trait that we’ve either had and we’re working on, or it’s something we don’t really want to have to admit to. 

 

05:22 – Brian (None)

For example, if there’s somebody who how do I say this? Something that aggravates me about somebody else, will often expose arrogance on my part, that like I just want to say to people sometimes, would you just shut up? You have been talking for 60 minutes, do you not? I mean, do you have gills? Are you breathing? Just shut up. And part of that is one, I’m mentally worn out. But also two, it reveals my heart that like I’d like to say something. And how arrogant is that of me to say something, and how arrogant is that of me. So it reminds me of when Jesus said don’t worry about the speck in your neighbor’s eye, worry about the log that’s like in your own. And sometimes I think what happens is that speck is like sandpaper. Yeah, and it irritates something and the question becomes. 

 

06:31

Why is that irritating me? Why is that? Why does that particular person and that particular topic irritate me? Well, let’s just say this one it could just be that they’re stupid or that they’re wrong or something like that, but usually it’s a little deeper than that, because it’s revealing something in me, that there’s an arrogance, that there’s a lack of dependence, that my heart may not be open to certain things. So for me that’s been a big revelation and I don’t like to live there because I like my comfort and I also like to be right, and I just confess that. 

 

07:14 – Kayla (None)

Yeah, none of us likes to have to Do kind of a self-assessment, and this quote sent us in that direction that there are situations where we lose patience with others, or we’re easily angered, or maybe we are worrying about things that aren’t ours to worry about, or am I being self-righteous? Or am I being self-righteous? Or perhaps I’m projecting my own values onto someone else in a situation? Well, this reminded me that in those moments, I need to pause and ask myself what’s the motive behind why I’m acting the way I’m acting? Is it because I’m feeling a rebellious streak, because they’ve shown me something about myself that I don’t want to own, or is it as simple as I thought I had outgrown that? 

 

08:16 – Brian (None)

Now we’re talking about a whole negative side here. Now there could be a positive side. 

 

08:21 – Kayla (None)

Oh, absolutely, yeah, no, I was going to go there, right yeah. 

 

08:24 – Brian (None)

Like because we’ve both. I mean, let me say this I went very heavy on the whole negative side. Now, if there’s somebody who is beating you up mentally and yeah. They’re like abusing you. You know I’m talking about and you feel a certain way. Do not sit there and say well, there is something wrong with me. Well, there is something wrong with me. No, there’s something wrong with that person yeah. Yeah, so please don’t hear what I’m saying at all as a justification for somebody to mistreat you. 

 

08:58 – Kayla (None)

Absolutely and truthfully. We were going to get there in just a second. There are situations where the Lord can use other people to help us grow, to grow in grace, to grow in our own responses, to grow in how we would then react to something. Whereas I may have reacted totally different five or 10 years ago, the Lord may use that person to help me be a better version of myself the next time I may see something modeled to me that I want to emulate. So it’s not just a matter of running away from things. Sometimes it’s a running towards a good behavior or a good decision. That’s a great point, and so there is that. But this quote I think the quote itself lends to admitting the hard stuff. 

 

09:53 – Brian (None)

I like what you just said. That is a big one. I mean, you’ve just blown my mind literally that sometimes what I see in like somebody else, I need that in me and so that kind of pricks at my heart or rubs me but yet I need that and I want that. That’s hard for like me to admit Now I’m going to be honest, but that’s great insight, I mean someone who doesn’t worry about. You ought to be a psychologist. Oh shoot, Because you’re actually fixing me on these podcasts. I see what you’re doing here. 

 

10:28 – Kayla (None)

It took 31 years. 

 

10:29 – Brian (None)

Oh, stop it. 

 

10:32 – Kayla (None)

It’s easy for me to worry. I love being around people who have the capability to not worry about tomorrow. 

 

10:41 – Brian (None)

I don’t, I don’t like being around those people. 

 

10:44 – Kayla (None)

Why. 

 

10:46 – Brian (None)

There’s a comet headed to Earth to hit us and they’re just sitting around knitting pictures of dogs or something. No, I want somebody working on a solution. I want so. 

 

10:58 – Kayla (None)

I need them to. That mind of yours is a very strange place. So I worry, I just don’t. 

 

11:02 – Brian (None)

So I worry. I just don’t express the worry. I like being around people who have a grasp of like reality. 

 

11:09 – Kayla (None)

Well, that’s a given. These are people who they have seen the track record of God and they’re willing to trust that, just as he has the today, he has the tomorrow, and those are the people that I wish I could be more like Now. The people that drive me crazy are the ones who can find something wrong in every good situation. 

 

11:36 – Brian (None)

Oh, my word. 

 

11:37 – Kayla (None)

And those are the ones that. 

 

11:39 – Brian (None)

Those are the ones I want a horse with. 

 

11:41 – Kayla (None)

But then I still have to ask myself why is that getting next to me? And maybe it is just as simple as emulate the good stuff and be mindful of the things that don’t glorify God or make me more like him. And that sounds very easy, but it’s not. 

 

12:06 – Brian (None)

You are blowing my mind this afternoon. This is incredible. 

 

12:10 – Kayla (None)

It’s tough stuff. I mean, you’ve had us thinking about it all week. 

 

12:14 – Brian (None)

I mean you’re dropping truth bomb after just I don’t know Truth bomb here. 

 

12:19 – Kayla (None)

But there was another point that you shared with me, though, and this one’s this one’s pretty much a truth bomb in itself. 

 

12:26 – Brian (None)

The irritation from others reveals oftentimes my own selfishness. In other words, I’m revealing that my world has to be set up in just a certain way so I have complete peace and no aggravation at all in my life. Oh, how selfish I am. Why are you looking? She won’t even look at me right now. Why won’t you even look at me? Because this is true, isn’t it? 

 

12:54 – Kayla (None)

It’s all of us. 

 

12:56 – Brian (None)

I think I’m a little bit more extra. 

 

12:59 – Kayla (None)

I don’t think so. I’m a little extra. Unless you’re just one of those people who chases drama for sport. 

 

13:06 – Brian (None)

Oh, is that me? This is all of us. Is that me? No? 

 

13:11 – Kayla (None)

You hit it with a bat. 

 

13:14 – Brian (None)

The drama, not the person. 

 

13:16 – Kayla (None)

Well, yeah, definitely worth clarifying. 

 

13:19 – Brian (None)

I like peace, I like happiness, I like there to be no aggravation. Now, if it’s fun, I’m in for it, but if it’s somebody just looking for drama, yeah, let me ask this what happens when we refuse to see ourselves rightly? You treat other people wrongly. Yep and you treat other people wrongly and you live in such a way that you cannot be as effective as you need to be. And let me say this you will never see yourself 100% objectively. Nope, I don’t care how it works. 

 

13:58 – Kayla (None)

That’s why you need a Bible study group, a home fellowship group, a church, a Sunday school class, yes, a best friend who is brave enough to look at you and say this version of you is not your best self. I find that when I become overly critical, there is something in me that I’m running away from. 

 

14:18 – Brian (None)

Ice cream. 

 

14:20 – Kayla (None)

What. 

 

14:22 – Brian (None)

You should run toward ice cream, is what I’m saying. Go ahead, but I’m just, I’m just trying to okay, go ahead what are you running away from? 

 

14:30 – Kayla (None)

yes, if I’m being overly critical, it’s running away from something I don’t want to have to deal with in myself. So for all of us, there’s that moment where we have to be willing to hit pause and ask ourself why am I acting like this? And perhaps it’s that I don’t want to have to see myself rightly To her point. What’s that sandpaper that you referred to? What’s causing the friction? Is that something’s being illuminated that we want to keep in the dark? Yes, that I don’t want to keep in the dark. 

 

15:04 – Brian (None)

Yes, that I don’t want to have to deal with. I just want all happy and just all kumbaya. 

 

15:12 – Kayla (None)

So the solution for all of this, we just said it Surround yourself with people who are willing to speak truth into you, the right people.

 

15:20 – Brian (None)

And when something aggravates, you take a pause, investigate your own heart and make sure it’s not something that the Lord’s trying to work on your heart about. I mean, there’s a million things in my heart he’s trying to work on, but I just kind of put a padlock and eat ice cream is how I try. 

 

15:37 – Kayla (None)

You really need some ice cream today, don’t you? No, I don’t know. 

 

15:39 – Announcer (None)

That’s the third time. 

 

15:40 – Kayla (None)

I think you’ve said ice cream. 

 

15:41 – Brian (None)

Is it Maybe, I think that’s inspired of Jesus, right there, that we do that. 

 

15:46 – Kayla (None)

Here’s the truth All of us are on equal footing when it comes to the things that need to be illuminated, and that’s why we have Christ, because none of us is going to get it perfectly right anytime we try. And as he’s revealing to us the things that we need to be irritated about with ourselves, may we take it to them and ask him for the strength to help us overcome. 

 

16:17 – Brian (None)

Wow, I got nothing to add. 

 

16:21 – Kayla (None)

That’s powerful. A little game of high and low. 

 

16:26 – Brian (None)

Is this how to reveal my weight at its highest? If it is, I’m out. This is going to be the shortest podcast we’ve ever done. I am not. No, you know, at the county fair, when you’re walking up and there’s that guy barking, hey, step up here. You know, I will guess your weight and if I’m wrong you get a stuffed animal. 

 

16:43 – Kayla (None)

No, that’s not this kind of high low. Okay, wrong, you get a. No, that’s not this kind of high low. Okay, you’ve either had too much caffeine today? 

 

16:49 – Brian (None)

no, but yeah, I tried that, I actually tried that, and that guy said no, no, no, no, don’t you walk up here, but that’s a whole, stop it. So anyway, highs and lows highs and lows. 

 

16:57 – Kayla (None)

I will start okay a high our first date through our wedding. I have some amazing core memories of dating and getting to know you and our whole time together, of learning about each other, sharing our life in the early days. 

 

17:19 – Brian (None)

You’ve thrown away my pink blanket. 

 

17:20 – Kayla (None)

We’ve already had this conversation. I should write that down. That’s not a high. 

 

17:24 – Brian (None)

That’s a low pink blanket. Go ahead. 

 

17:27 – Kayla (None)

I’m’m gonna have a low for you here in a minute. Let’s go ahead are you done? 

 

17:33 – Brian (None)

I’m done. 

 

17:34 – Kayla (None)

I apologize a low the day we found out that we couldn’t have children. What was a high for you, oh? 

 

17:43 – Brian (None)

you’re getting me emotional. Uh, the first time I saw you walking in the office and you’re sitting behind that desk and I’ve told this story a million times I just I was smitten, I was gone. I actually walked back to my friend’s office One of my best friends stand and went in his office, shut the door, said I have to kiss that girl or else I will die. I was smitten, done. 

 

18:07 – Kayla (None)

I mean, I had it was a while before we got there, but we got there, yeah. 

 

18:11 – Brian (None)

Well, I didn’t want to get sued. Um hello for me was waiting on your cancer results. When you had that breast cancer scare, I was uh it was a hard season. Oh, because I couldn’t imagine life without you, yeah, and having and you hurting, because I want to do everything I can to keep you from pain. That was a low. 

 

18:34 – Kayla (None)

Yeah, it was tough. A high Mm-hmm Our very first trip to Disney. We fell in love with Disney World. You looked at me. 

 

18:43 – Brian (None)

I’ll never forget this. We’re at that castle. You looked at me, baby, thank you for bringing me to the castle. I’ll never, as long as you were such a little girl. And the second, let me say this. And then seeing you meet Winnie the Pooh, oh my gosh, yeah, you squealed like a little eight-year-old. You were just it’s Winnie the Pooh, it’s Winnie the Pooh. 

 

19:06 – Kayla (None)

Hello, the year the pandemic hit, disney closed the week we were due to visit and then we were not able to get back to Disney World for four years. It was about four years, yeah. 

 

19:23 – Brian (None)

Well, we’re back now, baby. We are back, hi, taking you to see the Kingsman for the first time. 

 

19:30 – Kayla (None)

That was an experience. 

 

19:31 – Brian (None)

That was an experience. 

 

19:32 – Kayla (None)

One of my favorite. I did not grow up with gospel music. You had no idea. 

 

19:37 – Brian (None)

And then along that same train, there was a singer in the Kingsman for years, his name was Jim Hamill and going to his funeral. 

 

19:47 – Kayla (None)

Was a low. That was a low for years, his name was Jim Hamill, and going to his funeral Was a low. That was a low for me. A high for me was the day we bought our first home in Virginia. I thought the same thing we had lived here for a year and a low was leaving the friends who were family to us in New. Orleans, that was tough we left a church and a friend network that honestly, I don’t think we realized how good we had it until we left. 

 

20:12 – Brian (None)

It was incredible. 

 

20:14 – Kayla (None)

And that’s true of all of us. You don’t realize, we didn’t know a soul. Yeah, but we did not realize how close-knit our life was until we got here. 

 

20:25 – Brian (None)

I was buying our home. Yeah, I remember sitting in that that I guess as a lawyer’s office and I bet you I signed 85 I had no idea what I signed I know we could have signed away for all we know that said here, sir, you can sign this. Here, sir, you can. A low is when something breaks and I can’t fix it. That’s a low for me, because I it, and yet god always brings the right person. 

 

20:47 – Kayla (None)

I know it. 

 

20:48 – Brian (None)

But I should be able to do that. But I’d rather read a book than learn how to use a tool. 

 

20:53 – Kayla (None)

Well, that’s fine. There are people who love tools. 

 

20:56 – Brian (None)

So there we go. 

 

20:57 – Kayla (None)

A high for me was your first book launch. I was so proud of you. The very month that your book launched they set up a book tour and the week of your first book tour event we lost Sprocket. I remember that, and we had to walk into this season of going around talking about your book meeting people Smiling, shaking hands. And on the inside, we were just crumbling crushed because we had just said goodbye to sprocket yeah that was our baby he was our pup so a high is disney with you and a low is just anywhere without you. 

 

21:41 – Brian (None)

no, it’s true. I mean I I don’t enjoy being away from you, I don’t like it. But a high for me is going to Disney, even if it’s the 100th time Watching you walk through that English village. At Epcot, you’re just on cloud nine, you’re just good, and that’s me watching you in Star Wars. 

 

22:01 – Kayla (None)

Yeah, oh, I’m so excited it’s going to be a little while it’s going to be a little while before we get to go back. So there are some highs and lows as we embark on our I guess our 32nd year. 

 

22:13 – Brian (None)

Wow, they said we’d never make it. They did not. There’s some of them. Well, here we are, here we are. We showed them, didn’t? 

 

22:20 – Kayla (None)

we, who are they? 

 

22:22 – Brian (None)

Well, I’ll tell you some names after the podcast is over. Okay, so? 

 

22:26 – Kayla (None)

So we have a question, oh, and this one’s going to. It’s going to require a little thought, okay, but if you go to our website and if you answer this question correctly, you will win a Peas and Carrots coffee mug and some stickers. 

 

22:40 – Brian (None)

Just like Karen from Christiansburg won this past week. Oh, she sure did. She sure did. Karen from Christiansburg picked herself up a coffee mug, a pen, a notepad and some Cute little stickers that Miss Kayla loves. 

 

22:55 – Kayla (None)

So this week’s question if you go to our website peasandcarrotspodcastcom, look for the trivia button and you click that and you answer this question. What is a high low for you? Share with us a high low. 

 

23:11 – Brian (None)

And we can share some of those on the podcast. 

 

23:13 – Kayla (None)

We could. It would be really great to do that. 

 

23:15 – Brian (None)

So hey, go to our website peasandcarrotspodcastcom. Click on the trivia button to answer this question. 

 

23:21 – Kayla (None)

What is a high low for you? 

 

23:23 – Brian (None)

And when you answer that you’ll get yourself a coffee mug, a pen, a notepad and some cute little stickers. 

 

23:30 – Kayla (None)

And we would ask you to do one other thing Please go to our Peas and Carrots Facebook or Instagram page and tag a picture of yourself drinking coffee or tea, or whatever. We’d love for you to do that and share it with us. 

 

23:50 – Brian (None)

You can find us on Instagram and Facebook. You sure can Just look up Peas and Carrots Podcast. Hey, thanks for listening, and you can search the Peas and Carrots Podcast wherever you get your podcasts or visit our website peasandcarrotspodcastcom. 

 

24:03 – Kayla (None)

When you do, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast. 

 

24:06 – Brian (None)

And hey, just like we said, please go follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast. 

 

24:12 – Announcer (None)

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcastcom. Growing through the challenges we face and finding hope along the way. That’s the Jesus Fix it podcast with Jess. Check out jesusfixitcom or search Jesus Fix it wherever you listen to podcasts. 

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Season 3, Episode 26: When Silence Is Deafening

Can We Talk?
When Silence is Deafening - Episode Description

Join us for a whirlwind week as we share the highs and lows of returning home from an uplifting summer camp with our PAR family. From the unexpected demise of our AC unit and a stuck doorbell causing an electrical scare to a malfunctioning water heater and an ant invasion in our kitchen, it seemed like everything that could go wrong did. Despite the chaos, we reflect on the incredible experience of summer camp and the importance of community and support during trying times.

Then we explore the struggle of feeling, or not, God’s presence. We discuss the importance of reading scripture, praying, and recognizing daily mercies as evidence of God’s ongoing work, even when His presence isn’t felt. Reflecting on past experiences where God has been present fuels our current faith, even during difficult and confusing times, and we highlight the significance of accepting God’s sovereignty and trusting His decisions.

Lastly, we take you through our fun and eventful camp experience, starting with a barbecue by the lake, an engaging scavenger hunt, and a humorous noise complaint incident during our ladies’ pajama party.

When Silence is Deafening - Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 

 

0:00:11 – Kayla

Welcome to the peas and carrots podcast. 

 

0:00:13 – Brian

I’m Brian, I’m Kayla. Welcome to this week’s edition, mercy where do we begin? Y’all, it has been a week. It has. It has been a week If you’ve ever seen a meme of this gopher that just sits on a fence and screams. 

 

0:00:30 – Kayla

That’s what we feel like doing. 

 

0:00:31 – Brian

That’s exactly where we’ve been. 

 

0:00:33 – Kayla

But let’s start here so we’ll start with the reason that we kind of went AWOL. Last week Our PAR family came together for summer camp. Our PAR family came together for summer camp and what this is is it’s an opportunity to come together to do some mid-year training and culture building. We’ll share some stories about that in a few minutes, but the entire PAR team traveled to Tennessee Our WCQR team, who is in Johnson City, Tennessee. 

 

They hosted it, hosted us, planned it, planned it, hosted it Knocked it, hosted it, knocked it out of the park. Incredible, it was amazing. So that’s where we were last week. And then we came home on Thursday evening and what did we discover? 

 

0:01:16 – Brian

That our AC unit had died. 

 

0:01:18 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:01:19 – Brian

So we called the company that we normally work with. They come out Friday and they tell us it’s not an easy fix. The whole system has to be replaced. Yeah, when it went south is when we asked well, could you? When? And they said August 14th, which would be like three or four weeks of us living in a house with no air conditioning. 

 

0:01:41 – Kayla

And 90 degrees outside Now listen. 

 

0:01:43 – Brian

I understand that for some of y’all that’s not a big deal, but yet for Fat Boy here that’s a big deal. I’m just saying. 

 

0:01:49 – Kayla

It was a big deal for me too. We ended up, long story short, we ended up doing five nights with no air conditioning. God smiled on us even in the fact that the temperatures were weirdly low for July. We had some stormy evenings and then it went down to the 60s, but y’all our house got up to 81 degrees. 

 

0:02:12 – Brian

And yeah, and let me just say this I want to thank James Kramer with Radford Mechanical. We’ve known him and his family for. 

 

0:02:21 – Kayla

He fit us in during a very busy season for himself, spent an entire day and a morning to assure that we would have air conditioning before next week goes back to the 90s. 

 

0:02:35 – Brian

So, thank you, he fit us in. We would highly recommend him. I highly recommend him. 

 

0:02:41 – Kayla

And we are not getting any kind of discount for that. 

 

0:02:44 – Brian

So I just need to say that there is no, we did not of discount for that. So I just need to say that there is no. 

 

0:02:46 – Kayla

We did not get prompted to say that. 

 

0:02:48 – Brian

We wanted to say that when the original company came out to investigate what was going on, they rang the front doorbell and that doorbell is 20 years old. 

 

0:02:57 – Kayla

That doorbell got stuck, uh-huh well, he said there was a short in the wire between the doorbell and when you walk upstairs, you, when you walk upstairs, you could hear it. 

 

0:03:07 – Brian

And then you started smelling electrical burning, went back downstairs and we unstuck the doorbell, got it stopped and whatever. That electrical burning stopped and so we had to call another company to come out Replace our unit and replace the doorbell. And one of us was always home I think that happened on a Friday, so one of us was always home on Friday, Saturday, Sunday, because we didn’t want somebody coming up ringing the doorbell and having a fire, having a fire, yeah, and so that got changed out Monday morning. So there’s that. That got fixed, that’s done. And our water heater didn’t give us hot water, but that was a simple fix. 

 

0:03:44 – Kayla

we got that done but we thought we were looking at a new water heater. And then the thing that broke me all of that ac unit, okay, that stinks, but roll on um water heater, man, that’s a cold bath. Roll on doorbell. Thank god the house didn’t burn down while we were gone. Ant-palooza. We wake up yesterday morning and it’s as if ants have stormed the gates. The kitchen is covered in ants. 

 

0:04:14 – Brian

And I just need to say this is that my wife keeps a very clean house. 

 

0:04:17 – Kayla

Okay, they apparently came in with the change in weather. I read and learned that ants will they like air conditioning too? Well. 

 

0:04:29 – Brian

Can you blame them? 

 

0:04:30 – Kayla

It went from being very, very hot to very, very wet. We started getting rain every day, and so I read that they were trying to find somewhere outside of the rain and they were getting in and they found your kitchen. And I just I looked at you and I said I’m done, I just I can’t handle it anymore. But you went and bought this stuff called stem there was this stuff at Target and, knock on wood, we’ve not had any ants today. They were all gone as of this morning. 

 

0:05:00 – Brian

And then I bought some stuff for outside. You sprayed outside. 

 

0:05:04 – Kayla

So it has been a first world problem kind of week. Let us say that Even in the midst of all of it, we are both okay. Our home is nice and cool. There were no health effects of being in a very hot house, which I was worried about for you, so I was not sleeping at night because I was afraid you were going to have a sugar crash or something. I had Hampton Inn in the back of my mind that you know. We had a place we could go if we had to. It was just a lot in a very short amount of time and the reality is we can see how the things that took place at summer camp the worship, the community, the culture that was built, the love that was poured out between team members the enemy didn’t like that and he came out and he came out, and it wasn’t just us. 

 

A lot of our team members are walking through some hardcore stuff coming out of camp, so we would welcome your prayers. We are fine. Our house no longer smells like it’s burning and it’s cool. 

 

0:06:12 – Brian

And the team will be fine. 

 

0:06:13 – Kayla

They will be. It’s just a lot. So we will share some fun stories about camp in just a few minutes. 

 

0:06:23 – Brian

Silence. I do not enjoy silence and if we’re having a conversation with somebody and there’s like that awkward silence, I can’t. That’s a recipe that like we’re not going to be friends. I don’t sit here and just look at somebody for 10 minutes. Somebody needs to talk, but what happens? How do you deal with, how do you move forward when you feel that God is silent or you can’t feel him? 

 

0:06:55 – Kayla

And this is very honest and kind of scary to admit because, first of all, what I do in my work, I’m there and I admitted that to you the other night I feel and there’s a key word in there I feel God is silent and I’m really struggling with not feeling his voice or his presence in my life. 

 

0:07:21 – Brian

There’s some Kleenex. 

 

0:07:22 – Kayla

So we’ve talked about this. No, I’m hoping not to cry. 

 

0:07:25 – Brian

Well, you’ve already started. I can see life. 

 

0:07:26 – Kayla

So we’ve talked about this. No, I’m hoping not to cry, but I am stuck in a place of believing that God is for everyone else and this is not a therapy session. 

 

0:07:39 – Brian

So don’t charge each of you $125. 

 

0:07:42 – Kayla

You’re not going to get a bill. 

 

0:07:44 – Brian

Oh, I’d like to, I mean help out the ministry. 

 

0:07:48 – Kayla

What did you remind me? So, for those who perhaps have either been there yourself or you are there, that you also are struggling with feeling that God is just not active, you’re not seeing or believing or feeling his strength in your life, what are some key things that you’ve reminded me this week, and I’m clinging to them, but I’m still struggling. 

 

0:08:13 – Brian

First thing I would say is listen. Now, this is for me because I’m a fixer. I mean, as soon as you start talking to me, I had six or seven solutions in my head and I started talking and the first thing would be would you just listen? 

 

0:08:28 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:08:29 – Brian

Okay. So whoever’s going through this, talk to somebody, but make sure that they’re a listener. So here’s some things that I tried to nudge you on. First of all, RC Sproul said this who God is doesn’t depend on how I feel about him. 

 

0:08:48 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:08:49 – Brian

He’s still God. That should give me hope and confidence, because my feelings can be all over the map. Let me give you an example. You ever read the Psalms? Yeah, in this first Psalm, David’s like oh, you’re the greatest God, oh, you’re great, I’m worshiping you. In the next Psalm, he’s in the pit. Yeah, somebody just throw dirt on me and bury me because God hates me. So my first encouragement to you was read the Psalms, because it will tell you that you’re not the only human who has ever dealt with this. 

 

0:09:22 – Kayla

Which lends to keep praying, keep reading His Word and something that you have said to me many times remember in the dark what you learned in the light, and that’s tough when you are in a season that, if you’ve never been here, I actually do pray, that you never have to. It is a terrible feeling that God is just void and I’m reminding myself every single day of his word. I’m reminding myself of how he has shown up in the past, of the things you encouraged me and I do. I journal every day, but you have reminded me to specifically journal. What are the things that today prove to me? 

 

the tiny mercies that, and I think we all kind of get on autopilot. We’re living our life. Maybe we take a little too much credit for it. Maybe we believe that we can somehow earn it. 

 

You wake up in the morning, or if I’m good enough if I do, enough if I, and none of that changes. And maybe that’s some of the things he’s trying to remind me. But I keep picking up my Bible and I keep talking to him. Sometimes it feels like it’s bouncing off the ceiling, but I can’t just stop doing that, as hard as the outcome may feel. 

 

0:11:05 – Brian

The Puritans actually taught that God will sometimes remove his ability for you to actually feel him, and so that, as a result, you become more dependent on him. So that’s what they taught, and it comes from the Psalms, actually, that you see that. And so here’s what’s amazing is that you want to sense his presence, you want to feel again that he cares, and so what are you doing? You’re reading his word, you’re praying, and so I guess, in a sense and this is where you get into like, in other words, why is God doing this? I don’t know the answer to that. 

 

0:11:38 – Kayla

And I don’t either, but not yet, but yet. 

 

0:11:41 – Brian

I can say this I see you pursuing him, I see you reading, I see you praying, so I can see evidence of what he’s doing. I don’t know his actual motive. 

 

0:11:56 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:11:57 – Brian

But let me say this his love for you hasn’t changed. His grace and mercy is still there and I encourage you and everybody else who’s going through this I do this all the time because I have more doubt than like I do. Faith Write down every day tiny mercies like I woke up, I have health, I have a job, I have the most amazing wife in the world. I mean I could just keep going with all this. Our home, I’m saved, I’m not going to hell, I will never have to face the wrath of God. You just keep going and you’re going to realize he is there, but I may not be able to necessarily feel him. 

 

0:12:41 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

So, another thing that you reminded me and again, obviously you are my safe space is we don’t live in a vacuum. We aren’t meant to carry things solely on our own, and you could tell that I was really in a hard struggle and I shared my doubts with you because you are a trusted confidant. Find someone in your life that you can just lay your soul bare, because you can’t always pick yourself back up and you’re being very patient. I can tell you just want to fix this, you want it to just be a thing in the past and I know in time that it will work out. I’m believing for that. But also keep leaning in to someone else. Don’t try to handle all of it by yourself, because that’s just going to lend to more feeling oriented thinking, and that’s another thing that you keep reminding me. Don’t trust your feelings. 

 

0:13:55 – Brian

I think that there’s a lesson here is that when you are struggling, don’t be Job’s friends. Don’t show up and tell that person well, here’s what God’s doing. You just need to sit in the dirt with the person and let them cry and let them get to about Job 41 or like Job 42. And that’s where God shows up and says all right, you ready to talk, put your big boy pants on. And that’s literally what shows up and says all right, you’re ready to talk, but you’re big boy pants on. And that’s literally what God says to Job. And so my job is to sit in the dirt with you, walk with you every day, listen, pray for you and just keep looking forward. I will say this as the last thing for you and anybody else who’s walking through this Look in the rearview mirror, because what he’s done in the past can be fuel for your faith in the present. 

 

0:14:50 – Kayla

Hmm. 

 

0:14:52 – Brian

Think about this Moses and the Israelites are at the Red Sea. They can’t go forward because you have an Egyptian army who’s coming up behind them and they can’t go backwards. I would have been flipping out, I would have just been losing my mind. But there’s one thing they had just come from Egypt, where they saw plagues and miracles and where God had delivered them. So by looking at the past, they had fuel for faith there in the present, and that’s I’m just saying. I mean that this isn’t easy. 

 

0:15:27 – Kayla

And another truth that’s hard to swallow is don’t look at what he hasn’t done. That’s hard to sit here and confess my disappointment, my frustration, my, but God, I did this, and do you care? Or my, but I have been faithful in this, and do you care? It takes nothing away from who he is, and that’s a head knowledge that I’ve grasped. It’s something that my heart is still wrestling with is but why haven’t you done X, Y, Z? And he may never do that, because that’s not who he is, never do that because that’s not who he is.

 

0:16:16 – Brian

I’ll just sprinkle in a little scripture. It says that he shows mercy on whom he shows mercy and he doesn’t on whom he doesn’t. And that’s his prerogative to be God. We want to actually control him when he’s the one who’s actually sovereign. So, baby, I just want to tell you this I love you, I’ll walk with you every step of the way, and I love seeing God at work in your heart, even though I know it’s painful. 

 

0:16:40 – Kayla

Right back at you. Okay, so before we all need to like go drown our sorrows, let’s go back to camp. That was. Thank you all for listening to that. I know that was a lot of a lot. 

 

0:16:56 – Brian

No, it wasn’t, it was beautiful. 

 

0:16:57 – Kayla

Camp was fun. 

 

0:17:00 – Brian

The entire team comes together under one roof twice a year. 

 

0:17:04 – Kayla

It’s for like a day and a half. 

 

0:17:06 – Brian

This camp and then at the first of the year we do what’s called Vision Week. So this was camp and people arrive Tuesday evening for dinner and a barbecue out at a lake and then we leave Thursday around noon. 

 

0:17:19 – Kayla

Noon yeah. 

 

0:17:21 – Brian

And we stayed at a beautiful place down in Johnson City. 

 

0:17:24 – Kayla

Oh, my word, If you are ever there, there is a hotel. Now, listen, I’m going to go ahead and tell you we got a discount because we had such a large group and we have a Ronda Lacey. We stayed at the Carnegie Hotel. In Johnson City, Tennessee, which every single one of us, our jaws dropped when we walked in it was gorgeous Y’all. I had a clawfoot tub. Why is that a big deal? Because I’m a girl and I like baths. 

 

0:17:51 – Brian

Okay, but anyway, Tuesday evening, If I got in that thing, you have to put butter on the side. It but anyway, Tuesday evening, if I got in that thing, you have to put butter on the side. Just get me out of it. 

 

0:17:58 – Kayla

Go ahead. You made a new friend. We had our kickoff with a barbecue and a concert led by Ben Fuller. 

 

0:18:07 – Brian

He’s a CCM artist and he’s had who I Am was number one song and I mean he’s got other great songs out. But I learned we’re sitting there chatting and he loves Abraham Lincoln and I said shut up. He pulls out his phone and starts showing me all this. He’s got pictures of Lincoln. He’s got memorabilia. Well, we sat there and chatted. I bet you 45. We exchanged phone numbers. We text every single day about Lincoln. 

 

0:18:37 – Kayla

Thank you, Jesus if you have the opportunity to say thank you Jesus, because you’re you’re able to talk Lincoln with someone else and it’s wonderful now. 

 

0:18:48 – Brian

Now you’re about to have this, now you’re about to hit Kayla’s passion point, because we went to a restaurant called Cootie Brown’s. And what was dessert? Let’s just go ahead and skip. 

 

0:18:58 – Kayla

Y’all do not skip the key lime pie If you are in Johnson City and you go to Cootie Brown’s, which it is a legit restaurant. Everything is made on site, it’s fresh, it’s incredible. 

 

0:19:11 – Brian

I could not have the key lime pie. 

 

0:19:13 – Kayla

He could not have it, but I cheated on my diet. 

 

0:19:15 – Brian

But it was the size of your head. 

 

0:19:17 – Kayla

It was massive, I couldn’t finish it. 

 

0:19:19 – Brian

I could only eat half of it. On a scale of one to ten. How good was it?

 

0:19:22 – Kayla

A twelve. Wow. It had a layer of very tart key lime and then it had a layer that was more mousse-like, smooth and creamy. 

 

0:19:30 – Brian

Hairy mousse. 

 

0:19:32 – Kayla

Oh yuck. 

 

0:19:33 – Brian

Did it have horns? Oh, you meant moose is in like a little ice, yeah not that, oh, okay. 

 

0:19:38 – Kayla

So Okay, we had a game night, oh, and a PJ. Hang on, I’m confessing, the guys had a game night, the girls had a PJ party. It was not the guys that got a noise complaint. 

 

0:19:54 – Brian

Yeah, so the phone rings. This is Jordan, from the front desk. 

 

0:19:58 – Kayla

We’ve had a complaint about your room and all the noise coming from it, so yeah, he did tell us, though, that quiet hours did not begin until 11, and it was only 930. So if we were planning to go past 11, we were going to need to move, and I said, oh, we’ll be done by then. And we were going to need to move and I said, oh, we’ll be done by then. In case you think that all we did was goof off, we spent an entire morning with Dr Natalie Pickering, wasn’t it? 

 

0:20:26 – Brian

Lauren Pickering. 

 

0:20:28 – Kayla

Oh, I thought her name was Natalie. 

 

0:20:30 – Brian

Her name is Dr Pickering. There we go, okay. Pickering. There we go, okay. And she taught us all about the Enneagram and what it reveals about us and how it helps us work together as a team, and different personalities, and what we like and don’t like and how to approach people. 

 

0:20:45 – Kayla

It was quite eye-opening to learn how we all mesh. 

 

0:20:49 – Brian

Yes. 

 

0:20:50 – Kayla

And I know that the Enneagram is controversial with some people. Enneagram is controversial with some people, but using it as a tool to be able to communicate and to be able to respect each other’s boundaries and the team that works well together accomplishes more and she helped us to see something. I mean, she nailed me to the wall and if any of you are huge Enneagram people, I’m a one wing two. 

 

0:21:16 – Brian

I’m an eight with a seven wing. 

 

0:21:19 – Kayla

But what I learned, and this is what was just mind boggling for me, even as a one wing two, when I’m at my healthiest, I trend towards a seven. You have a seven, and both of my dearest, closest work confidants have a seven, and so I am surrounded by sevens. If I’m at my best, that’s where I trend towards. 

 

0:21:45 – Brian

So that was comforting and kind of wild. I’m an eight with a seven wing, which means I want to change the world. I have big dreams, I have big pictures. Yeah, okay, I don’t do details, so this is what cracked me up my wife, who is my number one confidant, is an Enneagram one with a two wing. All about the details, all about them. Adam McCain, who is the VP of operations, who is my number one here in the organization, he’s a one with a two wing. 

 

So when, I start presenting him plans, he’ll say Bina, what about this? How will we do this? How are we going to scale this? 

 

0:22:24 – Kayla

And then, what is your executive assistant? 

 

0:22:27 – Brian

Adam Reed is a two with a one wing. It takes three people to wrestle me to the ground to keep me alive? Yes, it does. 

 

0:22:37 – Kayla

It was fascinating. It really was. We did an actual scavenger hunt where we had an hour and a half and we had to visit. So I will just admit to some of the things that I did. We got points. We could choose from an entire list of things. 

 

0:22:53 – Brian

I’m sitting in my Kia and I see you piggybacking on the back of a team member going into a store in. 

 

0:23:01 – Kayla

Johnson City, but I got points for doing it. You had to go in one door and out the other, piggybacking. You had to ask a stranger, I had to ride through the parking lot in a shopping cart and shout to infinity and beyond. 

 

I had to sing with a stranger. One of our team members had to pretend that she was a dog and be led along. So this was, and again, we got points for each of these crazy things that we did. It was a whole lot of fun, but we will end with this. Not to end on a serious note, but it is. One of our team members actually got hurt. She fell and she is actually in the hospital and recovering from a broken leg and a broken hand and even in that we have seen how God has worked and God has brought his family together to take care of her. 

 

But if you would pray for her, her name is Donna. She’s one of my favorite humans in the entire world. 

 

0:24:04 – Brian

She’s amazing. 

 

0:24:05 – Kayla

And she’s hopefully moving to a rehab center any day now. We just need a bed to come available. But, as you are listening, if you would just keep her in your prayers. This was scary and she’s a rock star. 

 

0:24:22 – Brian

She has the sweetest spirit. 

 

0:24:25 – Kayla

I’m not going to say that I would be as content as she has been. So, yeah, that was hard, but it was a wonderful time with all of our team until then. But it was a wonderful time with all of our team until then and we have some pretty funny core memories that we’re carrying away. 

 

0:24:46 – Brian

So, hey, we’d like to share a little bit of peas and carrots with you. We’d like to send you a coffee mug, a notepad, a pen and some Cute little stickers, Cute little stickers and a sticky note. 

 

0:24:55 – Kayla

There’s a sticky note too. Really, Do we send them out a sticky note? 

 

0:24:56 – Brian

There’s a sticky note too. Really, Do we send them out a sticky note? There’s a notepad with sticky notes on it. Oh yeah, a notepad. 

 

0:25:01 – Kayla

So the first two people that go to our website. We say this every week. There’s a trivia button there. If you will click that trivia button and to find that you go to peasandcarrotspodcast.com. If you will click that trivia button, there is a question. 

 

0:25:18 – Brian

And this week’s question is when did we go for summer camp? What’s the name of the town? 

 

0:25:21 – Kayla

What town were we in? Yeah, so again go to peasandcarrotspodcast.com. 

 

0:25:26 – Brian

Click on the trivia button and answer this question. 

 

0:25:28 – Kayla

Where did B and K go for summer camp? What town were we in? 

 

0:25:32 – Brian

Hey, thanks for listening and you can search Peas and Carrots Podcast. 

 

0:25:36 – Kayla

Wherever you get your podcasts, visit our website, which is peasandcarrotspodcast.com, and when you do, please don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast. 

 

0:25:44 – Brian

You can follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast. And please don’t forget to pray for Donna. 

 

0:25:53 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Growing through the challenges we face and finding hope along the way. That’s the Jesus Fix It Podcast with Jess. Check out jesusfixit.com or search Jesus Fix It wherever you listen to podcasts.

 

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Season 3, Episode 19: Empty Nesters

Can We Talk?
Empty Nesters - Episode Description

Kayla can barely hold back her excitement about hugging Winnie the Pooh during our upcoming Disney vacation, and Brian finds himself humorously torn about whether to use the resort gym amidst all the walking. As we share our daily routines, from Kayla’s involvement in a women’s summer study at church to Brian’s newfound joy in grilling on a spotless grill, the conversation takes a heartfelt turn. We candidly explore the emotional complexities of Father’s Day, especially when faced with infertility and the reality of being empty nesters. We reflect on how certain holidays can be particularly challenging without children in the family, making this a deeply personal and relatable discussion.

We delve into themes of faith and gratitude, sharing touching stories about our experiences with other “children” God has given us and their profound impact on our lives. Amid these emotional moments, we lighten the atmosphere by discussing our favorite fictional characters and books, debating the age-old question of reading the book before watching the movie, and sharing our thoughts on Disney parks. We also spill the beans on our fears, future plans for getting a dog, and foods we absolutely refuse to eat. This episode is a rollercoaster of emotions, filled with laughter, love, and unexpected insights that will keep you engaged from start to finish.

Empty Nesters - Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 

 

0:00:11 – Brian

Welcome to the peas and carrots podcast. Hi, I’m Kayla and I’m Brian. Welcome to this week’s edition of the vegetable patch. I’ll tell you y’all, let’s just start here. Why are you so excited? 

 

0:00:25 – Kayla

The countdown is on. Countdown four we are leaving for vacation in a few days. 

 

0:00:32 – Brian

She’s got her little hands out in front of her like a little girl and she’s swinging them back and forth. 

 

0:00:38 – Kayla

Yeah, it’s vacation time. 

 

0:00:41 – Brian

Now, who are you going to see? 

 

0:00:43 – Kayla

Winnie the Pooh, Tigger, Eeyore Piglet. 

 

0:00:49 – Brian

Mickey Minnie, you sound like an eight-year-old you going to hug Winnie the Pooh? Yes, absolutely. You going to hug Mickey Mouse, probably. 

 

0:01:00 – Kayla

Okay, I mean maybe not, I don’t know, Donald Duck, and I mean they’re all right, but you don’t like Donald, I do. 

 

0:01:10 – Brian

But you love Winnie. 

 

0:01:10 – Kayla

But I love Winnie the Pooh. Okay To me All right. But yeah, we are headed south for vacation. We are, and I’m so ready. 

 

0:01:20 – Brian

I talked to my friend who lives down there. He said to bring shorts. 

 

0:01:23 – Kayla

He says it’s hot yeah, it’s 98 degrees the day we land. 

 

0:01:26 – Brian

So a little bit toasty. Miss Sanders is outside of her comfort zone and God’s using you, I’ll say that because last night you started what. 

 

0:01:38 – Kayla

We started our women’s summer study at church and it was really sweet sitting in a room with about gosh, I don’t know probably 30 women who, seeing them huddled in groups talking about just life and their journey with Jesus, and it was pretty amazing. It took me a while to wind down. I’m a little tired today because it was after 11 o’clock before all the adrenaline left my body. 

 

0:02:07 – Brian

I was asleep by then. 

 

0:02:09 – Kayla

But I actually had to like people and talk, stand up in front of the group. 

 

0:02:14 – Brian

It didn’t kill me. So proud of you. Why? Thank you. God’s using you. 

 

0:02:21 – Kayla

You are a very, very happy man. 

 

0:02:23 – Brian

I am because I’m grilling again. You are a very, very happy man. I am because I’m grilling again. My beautiful bride this past weekend cleaned my grill for me. It really wasn’t bad. I would like to clean my grill, but this is a conversation. My standards of what is clean is different from other people’s standards and we’ll leave other people undefined at this time. Good choice, okay. Yeah, so miss sanders cleaned my grill for me. I did, and you’ve. 

 

0:02:53 – Kayla

I’ve planted all the flowers, and so the back deck is your little sanctuary. Oh, I love it you can sit out there I grilled us some steaks, grilled some chicken last night. 

 

0:03:03 – Brian

So it’s just chicken last night. I’m a happy, happy, happy boy. Summer is in full swing. 

 

0:03:09 – Kayla

I’m excited, so I may have floated an idea with you. Here we go, that while we were on vacation our Hang on Before we get this out. 

 

0:03:19 – Brian

The answer is no. The answer is no, but go ahead. The answer is maybe. The answer is no, our go ahead. 

 

0:03:24 – Kayla

Go ahead. The answer is maybe the answer is no, our resort has a really nice gym. 

 

0:03:30 – Brian

Okay, let’s stop here. Okay, how many miles a day are we going to be walking at Disney? A lot, seven to eight. I do not see the need to go. 

 

0:03:42 – Kayla

But we could do some of our strength training. 

 

0:03:43 – Brian

No, no, I just still haven’t recovered from the to go, but we could do some of our strength training no no. I just still haven’t recovered from the look on your face by about 12 noon or 1 o’clock we’ll be strength training dragging my tail from here to get a Dole Whip ice cream across the thing in Hollywood Studios. 

 

0:03:57 – Kayla

That’s my strength training, okay good to know, so it’s a maybe. 

 

0:04:02 – Brian

No, it’s not a maybe. I will stretch forth a hand and pray for you as you go to the gym, while I lay in bed. 

 

0:04:09 – Kayla

In all seriousness, though, what is the gym next to at our resort? What is right next door to the gym? Ice cream, an ice cream store? 

 

0:04:18 – Brian

I will walk by you with an ice cream I’ll wave at you. I’ll even watch you. It doesn’t, no, but if I’m walking eight miles a day, I am not going to the gym. Okay, in 98-degree weather. So maybe I’ll have sweat rolling in places I haven’t seen in three years. Bless America, so that’s a hard pass for me. Are you really going to go to the gym on vacation? Maybe, Maybe I don’t believe it. I do not believe it. Best laid plans y’all Best laid plans. 

 

0:04:59 – Kayla

Forever empty nesters. It’s a good this is a good topic, but a hard topic Again, being that this is coming up on Father’s Day and that is a complicated holiday for you. You had a wonderful dad. 

 

0:05:17 – Brian

I had a great dad I mean the best ever, even wrote a book about him called Be Like Dad, which you can find on Amazon, by the way. But this is a tough holiday for me, and we’ve talked about this before on this podcast. We’ve talked about infertility. We never were able to have children and we were in that time period where we didn’t adopt either. Okay, let’s just be honest. And now, being 56, don’t take this wrong I don’t want a kid in my house. I’m too old, I’m setting my ways and I’m cranky. I want to go to bed about eight, 30. Okay, I’m just because by the time that kid’s coming out of diapers, I’ll be going into them. So I just say it. But Father’s Day and Mother’s Day are hard days. 

 

0:06:07 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:06:08 – Brian

And sometimes Christmas Day can be hard. 

 

0:06:11 – Kayla

Yeah, Because you see all these pictures of families snuggled up on the sofa in their matching pajamas and they’re doing all these things together. 

 

0:06:22 – Brian

But as many of our friends, it’s just me and you, which is great, it’s wonderful. 

 

0:06:26 – Kayla

Yeah, we are a family. Yeah, but we were saying the other night, as it comes up on Father’s Day, there are so many of our friends entering the stage of life where they are becoming grandparents. We are reminded that life looks different for us. 

 

0:06:43 – Brian

Not bad, but different and we’re not asking you to feel sorry for us or something like that. No, we’re just sharing our struggle, how we’ve seen Christ be sufficient. Let me say it absolutely yeah. Let me say it like that yeah, there is no pity here. 

 

0:07:01 – Kayla

There is no woe is us, there is a may. We all remember each other’s situation, that our situation is also not the same as our single friends, and then our situation is not the same as those who would long to have an evening with a quiet home. So, yeah, it’s again. It’s different is not bad. It just means that we embrace a different reality. 

 

0:07:32 – Brian

Now. So let me just say this we’re never going to have a home that has grandkids squealing in it. 

 

0:07:38 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:07:39 – Brian

Their parents begging us not to spoil them. But I guarantee you we would. 

 

0:07:43 – Kayla

Oh, absolutely. 

 

0:07:44 – Brian

I mean, I’d take them to Target and whatever they pointed at, I’d buy it. 

 

0:07:47 – Kayla

Yep, I have no doubt. 

 

0:07:50 – Brian

But let me say this we also have a history. Whenever we lived in New Orleans 20 years ago, we mentored college, we mentored seminary students and every Thursday night there’d be 10, 15 students in our home. 

 

0:08:09 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:08:10 – Brian

And when we moved here to Virginia, we just continued that tradition. We brought college students in our home and there were Thursday nights when we were here in Virginia, where there’d be 20 students in our home.

 

0:08:24 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:08:24 – Brian

And many of them called us mom and dad. 

 

0:08:27 – Kayla

And that was a real privilege to get to do life with them. So a typical Thursday, and again this started in New Orleans with seminary students who were single, lonely. They were part of our church but they did not have a home outside of church. They were really struggling some of them. So we would have dinner together and then we would spend probably 30 to 45 minutes talking about something theologically related. 

 

0:08:56 – Brian

We’d have a Bible study. 

 

0:08:57 – Kayla

And then we watched Survivor. It was a tradition that everyone would kind of choose who they thought was going to win Survivor and we would watch that together and then, honestly, some Thursdays at like 11 o’clock, we would say, okay, you people have to go home, we have to go to bed. 

 

0:09:14 – Brian

And it was always a race to see who could be there first Thursday night because they’d bring their laundry. 

 

0:09:18 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:09:19 – Brian

And so they would always bring laundry. 

 

0:09:21 – Kayla

I’ve taught many a young man and young woman how to sort clothes. Well, I’m up for that lesson. So, yeah, no, you’re good you leave our laundry alone. 

 

0:09:31 – Brian

We also had a rule in New Orleans that Friday night was like date night. 

 

0:09:35 – Kayla

Yeah, our home was opened. Honestly, Thursday night was not the only night that they could visit, but Friday night was off limits. And I think we’ve shared this before. 

 

0:09:44 – Brian

We’ve shared this story before. How I jokingly said, Friday night’s off limits, I said now, if you show up at midnight, that’s okay, that’s Saturday, that is off limits. I said now, if you show up at midnight, that’s okay, that’s Saturday. 

 

0:09:56 – Kayla

I never thought anybody would show up at 12.01 am. 

 

0:09:57 – Brian

DR Randall shows up at our door. 

 

0:10:01 – Kayla

Are y’all awake? Yeah, son, what’s up? 

 

0:10:05 – Brian

Well, you said we could stop by after 12. Well, what am I going to do? Come on in. 

 

0:10:12 – Kayla

You’re going to watch a movie, and that’s what you did. I think I fell asleep, yeah, but he was happy. So, yes, we have had a bounty of a really rich life with students who not only have we had a chance to pour into them, they’ve poured into us, and we now have young men and women who have families of their own and we get to delight in seeing them going through different stages with their kids, and they are incredible parents and it’s been fun watching various ones of them get married and then have kids and settling down and buying their first home. 

 

The call that we get of. I mean, I’ve lost count of the number of young men in particular that have said hey, would you all meet us for dinner? It’s important that you meet my fiancé, or hey, there was one in particular. We were sworn to secrecy that there was going to be a proposal, but it was important to him that we meet her beforehand. So different is not always bad, but here’s the reality that we are in. They have all grown and flown, as parents would say, and genuinely as they should. They have their grown and flown, as parents would say, and and genuinely as they should. They have their families to go to when, when Christmas rolls around, when easter hits, when they go and spend time with their biological parents, and that is exactly how it should be. Now we have been surprised and delighted on many a holiday where we’ve gotten a text saying hey, we’re in town, Can we get together? Can we visit Now? 

 

0:12:02 – Brian

I need to be honest. I’m just going to be very vulnerable. It still hurts some Sure. After all these years it still stings that kids and grandkids that they never show up, that kids and grandkids that they never show up. So I’m trying to grow in this to be satisfied with him. 

 

0:12:19 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:12:20 – Brian

Because he is to be my portion. 

 

0:12:23 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:12:23 – Brian

I am to taste and see the Lord is good. I’m not to taste and see what I wish I had. I’m to taste and see that he is good. Yeah, so that’s what I’m trying to do. 

 

0:12:37 – Kayla

And I will admit as well that there are times that that familiar ache returns, never knowing what it’s going to feel like to carry another human, never getting to answer questions such as okay, whose eye color would he have? Whose personality would she emulate? How tall would he be? What would she be when she grows up? I mean, these are questions that we’ll never have an answer, and yet the Lord has been faithful to fill our lives beyond full, just not with children of our own. And yet I also, at this stage in my life, I see friends of ours who they have raised children and then, for various reasons, their children have kind of gone their own way and so pouring out as a parent for 20 plus years, and then your child kind of turns and veers off, and I cannot imagine that heartache. And so everything is a little complicated. When you really stop and think about it, life is not just cut and dry. 

 

0:13:51 – Brian

No, I’ve come to this realization is that what they sell you in movies is a lie. It’s never that beautiful. It’s never that peaceful and it’s never where you get to put a bow on it and say life is perfect, it’s never like that. 

 

0:14:05 – Kayla

So I do worry. 

 

0:14:08 – Brian

Shock. 

 

0:14:09 – Kayla

I know what if god takes me first really that’s always been something that no, no this is something that plagues me and I worry that if god took me first, if we’d had kids, I could know that you had loved ones who were going to take care of you upon my passing, and that’s always plagued me a little bit. 

 

0:14:33 – Brian

That plagues me as well, because your worry is my worry. I mean I get up at 2 o’clock in the morning to go do what 56-year-old men do at that time of the morning and I come back to lay down and those things start. I mean it keeps me awake. Like you know, if I don’t wake up in the morning, she’s alone. There’s nobody there, and so I try to yeah. That’s why church, community and that kind of stuff sometimes is important, because now I don’t want to leave, tomorrow I’d like to have another. 

 

0:15:03 – Kayla

Yeah, please don’t. 

 

0:15:04 – Brian

I’d like to have another 20, 30 years with you. Yeah, as long as I can get around well, but I do worry about that. But I have to trust that the God who’s gotten us this far, he will be faithful to get us home. Yeah so. 

 

0:15:18 – Kayla

Yeah, and another beauty in this is we can see that God continues to surround us with couples. They’re beginning their journey. We can encourage them, we can support them, we can help them to see that it won’t always be this hard. But I may not ever fully understand his ways. I know enough of him that I can assure that younger couple that God is good and I can share with them, that he can be trusted and that he’s faithful and he’s true, and that his plans for them are way better than any plans we could ever have of our own. 

 

0:16:03 – Brian

I didn’t think I was going to cry today. You’re just ripping my heart out. You’re just ripping my heart out. I guess I got a little bit further to go than you. I would tell those couples that he’s true and he’s faithful and he’s loving and he’s caring. But part of your life might also be a little bit of bitter profit, because God doesn’t always operate. 

 

0:16:29 – Kayla

But hopefully that will drive you closer to him. Gotta get a Kleenex. 

 

0:16:35 – Brian

I wasn’t expecting this today. I mean here you roll up in here. So sorry, now my mascara’s running Stop. Will I ever be 100%? Okay with this? I’m trying. 

 

0:16:54 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:16:55 – Brian

I am trying, but I’m thankful for Jesus. I’m thankful for you, darling, I mean it. I’m also thankful for all the kids who’ve passed through our home kids who’ve? 

 

passed through our home, yeah, I mean. And when they’re in town, they make a point to see us and introduce us to all their littles. And some of them they’ll call us and they’ll say Mom, Dad, we’re expecting baby number five. And I’m like, look, y’all need to figure out what’s causing this and stop it. You’re on five or six now, okay, so, but we love it. But I just want to say this what you just said deeply impacted me. I’m trying yeah. 

 

And I can tell couples that he’s faithful and he’s good, and I’ll do a better job of that. So that’s too much for me. Thank you, getting to know you. 

 

0:17:54 – Kayla

Yeah, okay, that was pretty heavy, so we need a little lighthearted. 

 

0:18:00 – Brian

I’m still wiping tears in my eyes. Yeah, I need a candy bar Piece of fried chicken. All right, what you got. 

 

0:18:10 – Kayla

Just a few questions about us. Some of these we get from people and some of these that I came up with on my own Just to kind of let them get to know us just a little bit better. Who is your favorite fictional character? 

 

0:18:23 – Brian

Darth Vader or Godzilla? Quick answer, or can I give one more? Sure? Willy Wonka, oh good one. Gene Wilder yeah, you favorite fictional character. 

 

0:18:36 – Kayla

Mine would be Mary Poppins. 

 

0:18:40 – Brian

Practically perfect in every way. 

 

0:18:42 – Kayla

Or, of course, any of the Winnie the Pooh characters. 

 

0:18:45 – Brian

I don’t understand Al. I don’t even know why he’s in the mix. He’s wise. No, he’s not, he’s crazy. 

 

0:18:51 – Kayla

Oh Well, all right then Best book you have read to date? 

 

0:18:58 – Brian

This year To date Best book Not this year. 

 

0:19:00 – Kayla

Just To date Best book Not this year just To date, unreasonable Hospitality. 

 

0:19:06 – Brian

Oh, phenomenal, phenomenal book, loved it you. 

 

0:19:14 – Kayla

The Diary of Anne Frank Wow. 

 

0:19:17 – Brian

That’s gone a little bit back. 

 

0:19:19 – Kayla

Okay, I’ve read some good books, but that one still impacts me more than I think any other. I mean not including the bible, but yeah somebody’s going to somebody gonna be like you people need some Jesus. Will you ever get another dog? We get this question a lot the answer is yes, okay we’re just not in a season to have a dog we’re not. 

 

0:19:42 – Brian

We’re way too busy and we wouldn’t be home enough. 

 

0:19:46 – Kayla

We are typically home two, two and a half hours a night, and that would be well. Let me clarify that. 

 

0:19:54 – Brian

Hang on, where are we sleeping? 

 

0:19:55 – Kayla

Before we go to sleep. That would just seem very selfish at this stage of our life, but we do. We have plans to get another dog. What are you most afraid of? 

 

0:20:09 – Brian

How honest do I want to be? 

 

0:20:10 – Kayla

Oh, you have to tell the truth or I will. 

 

0:20:13 – Brian

Spiders and being alone. 

 

0:20:16 – Kayla

Getting lost because it’s happened before. 

 

0:20:21 – Brian

Yes, yes, getting. 

 

0:20:23 – Kayla

I cannot handle feeling lost or not knowing where I’m going.

 

0:20:26 – Brian

That GPS takes this all throughout. Oh, I freak out. 

 

0:20:29 – Kayla

So what has to be first for you the book or the movie? 

 

0:20:33 – Brian

I really don’t care. Oh really. Yeah, I’ve never read the Harry Potter books. I’ve seen the movies 50 times a piece, though. 

 

0:20:41 – Kayla

What. 

 

0:20:43 – Brian

I’ve never read Chronicles of Narnia. I’ve watched those crappy movies too. Rude. Well, they got trees walking in them. 

 

0:20:54 – Kayla

And yet Godzilla is okay. This is where we are. Are we going to do this. 

 

0:21:02 – Brian

I feel a little judged. I didn’t criticize. 

 

0:21:06 – Kayla

We need to poo and you called chronicles of Narnia crappy. 

 

0:21:11 – Brian

Well it’s not my cup of tea. 

 

0:21:13 – Kayla

Well, okay, Godzilla’s not mine, but he’s awesome. Anyway, your punishment is you will now read the first Narnia book. 

 

0:21:21 – Brian

I am not Yep, I will go to book jail. I am not reading that Book jail. I am not reading that. 

 

0:21:27 – Kayla

Favorite Disney part. 

 

0:21:28 – Brian

No, you got to answer that Book or movie. 

 

0:21:30 – Kayla

Oh, I have to read the book first, really, because then I want to compare to see how true they stay to the book when I watch the movie. Why is that important? It matters to me. Maybe if you’d read the Chronicles of Narnia. You would like the movies have you ever read it. 

 

0:21:46 – Brian

Yes, all of them my uncle gifted me this set you read all that Prince Caspian stuff and all that. 

 

0:21:52 – Kayla

Yes, I did. Walking it back a little bit now. 

 

0:21:55 – Brian

No, I’m just because Carol Lass again take me to book jail. 

 

0:22:01 – Kayla

Favorite Disney park. 

 

0:22:03 – Brian

Hollywood Studios Easy Hollywood Studios. 

 

0:22:08 – Kayla

It’s a toss-up between Hollywood Studios and Epcot for me, because Epcot has the International Village and I love that. 

 

0:22:16 – Brian

You love the English village. I love all of it Fish and Chip. They have a little tea shop there in the English village. You like that. 

 

0:22:25 – Kayla

What is a food you refuse to eat? 

 

0:22:29 – Brian

Mushrooms, Brussels sprouts. Unless they’re doused in garlic and bacon. I’m not going to touch a Brussels sprout. If you can still taste Brussels, I ain’t touching the sprout. 

 

0:22:40 – Kayla

Yeah, it’s not happening. Probably okra. Oh yeah, ain’t touching this brown. Yeah, it’s not happening. Probably okra, oh yeah. 

 

0:22:47 – Brian

Mushy okra, yeah, bell peppers. 

 

0:22:49 – Kayla

Okay. We don’t have to list all of them. 

 

0:22:51 – Brian

Oh, sorry yeah. 

 

0:22:52 – Kayla

Okay, what is your Enneagram? 

 

0:22:55 – Brian

I’m an eight with a seven wing. 

 

0:22:57 – Kayla

And I’m a one with a two wing, and none of that surprises anybody who’s listening. A one with a two wing, and none of that surprises anybody who’s listening. So yeah, but there we are. So those are just some random questions about us. Speaking of questions, the first two people to go to our website and answer the question correctly, you will win a peas and carrots coffee mug what is this week’s trivia question? 

 

0:23:19 – Brian

so, our. 

 

0:23:20 – Kayla

Our question is book or movie which comes first for you? Do you have to read? 

 

0:23:27 – Brian

the book first, or I mean it doesn’t matter it’s just an honest answer. They can say I don’t care, but so hey, if you go to our website, the first few people go to our website. Answer that question correctly yeah, so book or movie. You’ll win a peas and carrots coffee mug, a good pack of Cute little stickers, and then we’ve added a pen a peas and carrots it’s very, very nice. They just came in. 

 

0:23:54 – Kayla

So click that trivia button. Answer that question. Peasandcarrotspodcast.com. You can search Peas and Carrots Podcast wherever you get your podcasts, or visit our website peasandcarrotspodcast.com. When you do, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast. 

 

0:24:09 – Brian

You can follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast. See you all later. I’m off to book jail. 

 

0:24:18 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Growing through the challenges we face and finding hope along the way. That’s the Jesus Fix It Podcast with Jess. Check out jesusfixit.com or search Jesus Fix It wherever you listen to podcasts. 

 

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Season 3, Episode 14: In Christ Alone My Hope Is Found

Can We Talk?
In Christ Alone My Hope Is Found - Episode Description
As Adam and Tricia return to our space of hope and healing, they unfurl the layers of their chronic illness journey, revealing how a steadfast faith has anchored them through the stormiest seas. They remind us that amidst the uncertainty, ‘tiny mercies’—those seemingly insignificant acts of kindness—become the lighthouse guiding us to shore. Their story is a testament to the power of community, where the collective embrace of friends and strangers alike becomes the embodiment of God’s love, especially poignant as they recount the heartwarming support received during the festive season.
This episode is not just about the struggles but also about finding that silver lining in the cloudiest skies. We navigate the emotional terrain of pain and its many facets, considering how our experiences can forge a deeper empathy and a robust theology of suffering. With Adam and Tricia’s insights, we peel back the layers of coping with chronic pain, the transformative nature of laughter, and the importance of allowing brokenness to breathe within our communities. There’s a sacred space in acknowledging that sometimes, we may not emerge from the valley—but even there, God’s omnipresence offers a profound sense of comfort.
Closing this chapter of our conversation, we reflect on the ways suffering shapes our faith and character, pondering the mysterious workings of ‘bitter providence.’ Through the Psalms, particularly Psalm 138, we find a wellspring of solace, and in sharing our ‘tiny mercies,’ we knit together a tapestry of grace that testifies to the enduring hope found in God’s promises. As you listen, we invite you to hold close the stories shared and consider the mercies in your own life, remembering that each step, no matter how small, is part of a divine dance orchestrated with love and intention.
In Christ Alone My Hope Is Found - Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 

 

0:00:11 – Brian

Welcome to the Peas and Carrots Podcast. Hello, I’m Brian, I’m Kayla, good to have you along this week. Welcome to episode 2. 

 

0:00:22 – Kayla

We’ll be talking again with Adam and Trisha. Yeah, this is part two of our conversation with the Reads. They have shared with all of us how they navigate a chronic illness and how they glorify Christ and give all of us hope in what they share in that. So we will get to that in just a minute. We’re going to keep our life updates really short this week because this is a powerful segment and the spotlight is on Adam and Trisha, so we don’t want to say a whole lot. We are in week two fundraising, fundraising. 

 

0:00:58 – Brian

I got a new Lincoln book. Uh-huh, why did your facial expression change? 

 

0:01:04 – Kayla

Is anybody surprised by that? I just wanted to share that. 

 

0:01:07 – Brian

There are people out there who are very excited about that. 

 

0:01:11 – Kayla

Okay, I’ve had lots of coffee over the last few days, so I’m trying not to talk super fast because I’m highly caffeinated and kind of my ears are buzzing a little bit. 

 

0:01:26 – Brian

When we first got married, for the first maybe five or ten years of our marriage. Like if you ate chocolate, I’m having really trouble stuttering. If you ate chocolate, after like two or three, you’d be up till like midnight. 

 

0:01:38 – Kayla

Oh yeah, I was party animal, yeah, so those days are behind you Not anymore. I can’t do coffee after like 2 pm, so yeah, but anyway, we will get back to our life updates, but, as we said, today’s focus. We hope that you enjoy part two of our conversation with Adam and Trisha. 

 

0:01:59 – Brian

I want to ask Trisha this how have you seen the grace of God in the last 13 years with all these diagnoses? 

 

0:02:08 – Trisha

You know, I think one thing that we learned early on I think even in our college years, was that we were encouraged just to make a works of God when you see God working. Just as the Israelites built the altars and the stones to remember what God had done, we’re called to remember what God has done for us. So actually even just last night we were talking with our kids and just remembering all the things that God has done in the past. So when things seem hard and there’s like I don’t know how this is going to turn out, we remember and we think back, and so there were just a lot of things. There was a reminder last night that one of the kiddos was reminding things that we didn’t even remember. So there was an era of our life just after a really hard surgery and someone would leave a gift card in our mailbox every Sunday night for a while. 

 

And we would just get a text and they would say hey, go check your mailbox. 

 

0:03:03 – Adam

We didn’t know who it was from, like a third party would say, hey, go check your mailbox. 

 

0:03:05 – Trisha

We didn’t know who it was from. We didn’t like a third party would say, hey, go check your mailbox, something’s in there. So that was something that we made sure as a family, just remembering. Okay, like this was God provided again and he has been faithful. One time we came home and someone actually was right before Christmas. 

 

0:03:20 – Adam

That was amazing. 

 

0:03:21 – Trisha

And someone had decorated our yard like with decorations. 

 

0:03:26 – Adam

For me that wasn’t a big deal, but for the kids like that’s one of the ones they remember Like hey, mom, do you remember that? 

 

0:03:32 – Trisha

time, Like his Adam, had always done decorations and that Christmas that wasn’t going to happen. And so they came home and they’re like mom, there’s like the Christmas decoration. 

 

0:03:40 – Adam

It looked better than they said. It’s like this is the best Christmas lights we’ve ever had. 

 

0:03:44 – Trisha

Yeah, it might have been better than ours. Yeah, we couldn’t even compete, it’s true. 

 

0:03:49 – Adam

So things like that and then you turn the corner and you pull in and like that moment for your kids. You know, when you know that you are completely helpless to make that happen and it’s not a need. 

 

0:04:00 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:04:00 – Adam

But it’s something that reached their hearts. 

 

0:04:02 – Trisha

But it’s something that reached their hearts. We call that tiny mercies. 

 

0:04:04 – Adam

Yeah, for sure, just to see the amount of love that that showed to them. Not everything’s monetary. 

 

0:04:10 – Trisha

Yeah, and that’s what one of the things they said specifically. They’re like mom, it’s not always Now granted, the financial has been helpful in times, but it’s also been just key thing for our family is doxology, remembering and thinking like, okay, this is hard, but God’s been faithful in the past and he will give us grace for whatever the future is. So, yeah, I think those are the moments and I think that’s helped us to then keep our focus on Christ and not on our situation for sure. 

 

0:04:40 – Brian

What Ms. Kayla just said. We call this tiny mercies and we have faced stuff, but it’s nothing like what you faced, Adam. But I have a folder on my iPhone in the Notes app and it’s called Tiny Mercies Because I tend to look at all the bad stuff that’s happening. In those days I’m just stressed out with all the bad stuff. I will force myself to look at other places and see what God’s doing and I will start writing those things down to remind me that he’s still active, he’s still moving, he’s still doing good things. It may not just be in this one area where I’m struggling right now, but he’s doing all this other stuff over here, so that sounds like that, yeah for sure. 

 

0:05:22 – Trisha

Spiritual amnesia right, we forget, we’re so forgetful. 

 

0:05:32 – Adam

And so then we have to direct our minds to think on truth. Like we had one former student of mine who graduated when I taught high school and it had been years, and like she contacted us and it was right before Christmas after a major surgery, and she’s like, hey, can I come get your kids Christmas presents and wrap them all for you and bring them back? And I don’t. That was just like a huge. 

 

0:05:49 – Trisha

And, for the record, I hate Chris. I mean I sound like a Scrooge, but that’s one of the things. I do not enjoy wrapping presents? 

 

0:05:56 – Adam

but regardless, I like a lot of other things. 

 

0:05:58 – Trisha

It was still just like this but it was a huge help for me. Like one thing I could take off my plate. 

 

0:06:03 – Adam

And yeah, it was just like a very simple, like super practical. I mean it probably took her several hours to, you know, come pick everything up and then get wrapping paper and wrap them and then bring them all back. But it was just one of those little things that you’re like, I really saw God in that moment and it was one of those things like we will, we’ll never forget. And our kids certainly won’t either, just because the amount of love that showed God shows up in really neat ways. You just never expect. 

 

0:06:31 – Kayla

From a practical standpoint, have either or both of you had to get comfortable with letting other people do things for you? 

 

0:06:40 – Trisha

I think I know the answer to this. It’s funny we did talk about this last night. I am probably not as good as I probably should be about it. There are there’s definitely people that are close and dear that I know and I trust them and I’ll say, yeah, like that would be huge, probably could get better. I think that’s one of the things maybe I don’t do as well. 

 

0:07:01 – Adam

Yeah yeah, I think that it’s a tough thing. I think she’d say we’ve gotten better at it, but I’m still not. I mean, I still fight people helping me. But she’ll tell you, like when we were first married, like I’ve changed a lot, like I have changed so much. I was the person that if she wants something done, I’ll get it done, but I’ll run over everybody in the process of getting it done. 

 

And so me basically Okay, I wasn’t going to say I was Brian.

 

You said you were. You said it Okay, but I would like I mean I would really hurt people in the process just cause I was like this is the way it is, like we’re going to get it done. And through the years, like God’s just kind of tore that from me and helping me see people like just cause people like just because I have a physical name doesn’t mean I’m special, like I could be sitting next to someone who is perfectly healthy but is going through something mentally or emotionally or relationally that is just as painful in different ways. And so trying to understand people better and relate to them has really been a long process. And so I think like that drive is still in me to like I’m just going to get it done, and so I think like that drive is still in me to like I’m just going to get it done, and so I still think I’m probably not very good at accepting help. Brian makes me accept help. Sometimes he’s like, hey, David’s going to help you do this. 

 

0:08:16 – Brian

Okay. 

 

0:08:17 – Adam

All right yeah. 

 

0:08:18 – Brian

How have you seen God work in your life, Adam? 

 

0:08:21 – Adam

A whole myriad of ways I am very different than I was. We joke sometimes not in the pushing people over, but we have kind of changed personalities. 

 

0:08:29 – Trisha

For sure. Yeah, I’m definitely more of like, okay, let’s get it done, move to the next thing agenda and I’m more of the laid back. 

 

0:08:40 – Adam

Still want to get stuff done but like let’s take a nap. I take naps at 10. You better-. 

 

0:08:43 – Brian

Well, here we go. 

 

0:08:44 – Adam

Aggravate. Three o’clock no, and then 4.30 just to be safe 4.30 just to be safe. 

 

0:08:51 – Kayla

And. 

 

0:08:51 – Adam

I schedule. 

 

0:08:53 – Trisha

Meetings with Brian and you work in between right. 

 

0:08:55 – Adam

Depending on how my day with Brian goes. Crisis nap, yeah, that’s what my. If you text me and I’m having a crisis nap, it’s because something went awry with Brian. 

 

0:09:05 – Kayla

I’m going to have to start weaving in crisis nap. 

 

0:09:08 – Adam

No we’re not. No, we are not. Thank you, Adam. 

 

0:09:12 – Kayla

Yes, absolutely. 

 

0:09:14 – Brian

So let me we’ll get to the hilarity here in a minute. Back to this. How have you seen God’s grace in your life? Because you’ve seen a lot of pain. 

 

0:09:24 – Adam

Really, I would just say, through his word really is how God has really changed me, and I’ve shared with you some of it before. There’s a couple of passages that really stick out in my mind that I’ve just run to over and over again. Years ago I was at Lifeway and I was there for something else, but I’m like I’m always the clearance rack shopper, so like if there’s a clearance rack. 

 

I don’t care what store I’m at, I’m going to go see it. Thank you, Kayla Appreciate that, and Brian at me like I’m crazy. But it’s okay, We’ll talk about that later. So after my crisis but yeah. 

 

So like I was at Lifeway when they were still around and I went to the clearance rack and they had this like bookend sort of thing and it had Psalm 138 on it, which says the Lord will accomplish his purpose for me, and I bought two of them because I just liked it. I was like that is very meaningful to me. I didn’t really know at the time how meaningful it would become because things just progressively got worse, but it’s still at our house and it’s still up after, oh goodness, 15 plus years probably. And that is just one verse that the Lord has really used in my life, because I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten a new diagnosis or felt like I couldn’t accomplish the things I was given to do, or people meaning well have said things that have hurt, or people meaning well, they have good intentions and just say something and you’re like people go stupid. 

 

Yeah, but they have good intentions, they just don’t know how to respond to the situation. 

 

0:10:56 – Brian

I think a lot of higher opinion of people than I do. 

 

0:10:58 – Adam

but go ahead, I just think people in general like when they enter hard situations, just if they’ve never been there. They don’t know what to say or do and so they say something and it just doesn’t always come out right. But all these different situations I’ve felt that many times like I am useless now, like my goals in life, the things I studied to become what I was working on, what I was pursuing, like we said, like we’re on plan I don’t know whatever. Now, if there was more than 26 letters in the alphabet, we’d be there. 

 

And yet I’ve come back to this verse and said no, like God said he’s going to accomplish his purpose for me, what he designed before, what he. You know, he planned out all of my days Psalm 139, 13, 14,. Like when he planned all that out, this was all part of his plan. Like this was never a mistake that happened that somehow God was blindsided by this and now my life is a mess. No, this was all part of what he sought to do, and so just finding that hope in scripture that God’s not done with me. I can remember driving down this road right here when I was in engineering, and the white truck which we affectionately called reepa. Cheap after uh C.S. Lewis cs Narnia series. 

 

My kids helped me name it. I can’t believe that came up on this podcast I’m so proud right now I was driving down the road and I was literally in tears because I was like I just don’t know if I’m useful anymore. Like I’ve got so much going on with my health and my body. Like, can I work, Can I accomplish things? Can I? 

 

be, helpful to the world in general, like and you know the song came on that like God’s not done with you yet, which is an echo of the same verse Like he’s going to accomplish his purpose for me and that gave me huge hope during that time and I just remember, like, right on this road out here is having that experience. 

 

So that’s one verse that’s been a huge encouragement to me. The other one that really happened this last year was John nine, where Christ heals the man that was born blind. And it kind of seems like a weird passage to go to because, like oh, christ healed the man that was born blind. And it kind of seems like a weird passage to go to because, like oh, christ healed the man that was born blind. He says well, you were born for the purpose of me healing you. Like, you know, like God’s purpose is being accomplished, you’re healed. 

 

Well, I had to wrestle with that a lot because I was like, well, he was born blind so that he could be healed and God’s glory was seen in that and seen in him. But I was born healthy, seemingly, although my main disease is the actual DNA defect. It just didn’t manifest itself till later. And yet now I’m sick, like now I’m in a state of unhealth constantly, but yet I’m not healed. And this guy was healed. So, like, how does that play out? Because God’s glory was seen in the healing. But I had to step back and, just you know, look at scripture, look at life and realize like the normative in life is not miracles. We love miracles and we love to see them happen, and God can use all sorts of means to make those happen, but we wouldn’t call them miracles if it was normal. 

 

0:14:07 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:14:07 – Adam

Right, like we are amazed at seeing miracles because they are abnormal. And there’s a reason that there’s a hospital in every city. It’s because pain and hurt are normative, like that is the normal. So recognizing that like, okay, you know, healing may never come in this world in this world, yeah, yeah, it may never be part of my experience here yeah. 

 

And I need to stop simply chasing after freedom from pain because that’s where I was for a long time. I just want to be free from this, whether that’s through doctor’s care or whatever. Like I just don’t want this anymore To recognizing okay, I live in a broken world and I should expect brokenness. Like that should be part of how I live is expecting things to be broken in a broken world. And because I can stop chasing freedom from that, I can find freedom and seeing eternity as a hope and a healing that we will have one day and I can look forward to that time. And that was a huge perspective change for me as I wrestled through John 9. So we’ve joked a lot because people will come up and say I’m praying for you and I love that right. 

 

0:15:25 – Trisha

Obviously, we love people praying for us. 

 

0:15:30 – Adam

We’ve had some. It hasn’t been recently at all, but we’ve had some people in the past that would come up every week and they’d be like are you healed? 

 

0:15:36 – Trisha

Is it all better? Are you all better now? 

 

0:15:40 – Adam

And you’re like well, it’s a DNA defect. So unless God changed my DNA, I’m still the same way, and God certainly has the power to change my DNA. Like it’s not beyond him in the least. I mean, Paul had a thorn in his side and he sought the Lord three times for it to be removed, and then it sounds like he stopped and he trusted the Lord with what he was given. So when these people would come, we’d kind of like be like no, we’re not healed yet, you know, but just pray instead rather than pray for. 

 

If you want to pray for healing, keep praying for it. I don’t have a problem with you praying for it. But what I need you to pray for because what’s normative is brokenness I need you to pray that I would live out, live well, what I’ve been given, because that’s a whole lot harder. Like if I was healed, it’d be easy for me just to go back to rely on myself. It would be so easy because that’s how I lived and I would probably describe the early part of our marriage really was just self-reliant, and I hope that that’s changed. And if I was to be healed, I think I would just go back to revert back to that and having problems forces me to rely on someone other than myself because I can’t fix them, and God’s there for that, obviously. 

 

0:16:51 – Brian

I want to ask you both a question, and then I want to say a few things, and Miss Kayla may want to say a few things To the person. Who. To say a few things? To the person who’s listening, to the couple out there who’s listening? And they’ve been given a horrible diagnosis and life will never be the same. I’ll start with Trisha Ladies. First, what would you say to them, as the spouse of somebody who’s been walking this road? 

 

0:17:14 – Kayla

You stole my question. 

 

0:17:17 – Trisha

But I’ll let you. 

 

0:17:18 – Brian

I appreciate that, darling. 

 

0:17:25 – Trisha

Yeah, I think one thing I have found more recently that we’ve discussed is just making sure that you take time to grieve. I think that’s a vital thing, that maybe we’re not comfortable with those feelings and having someone to talk to and not internalize it by yourself, but discussing those, working through those issues, taking time to not just be like, okay, this is great, no, like taking time to process, is something that our society struggles to process well. And then the second thing is, I think, just understanding that God is still in charge, like he is still in control, and he has a plan, and it’s not necessarily our plan. I think each time we’ve gone through seasons, the Lord has definitely given passages of scripture that I cling to, and right now even I think it applies to that question is Romans 8 in verse 26. It specifically talks about that. 

 

The spirit also joins to help us in our weakness because we do not know what to pray for, as we should. But the spirit himself intercedes for us with unspoken groanings, and I’m just thankful that when we don’t have the answers and we may not even know what to pray, that the spirit is with us and he is enough and that kind of helps them realize, okay, I can’t even go to the Lord with prayer because I don’t even have the words that disappointment and that loss can also be a comfort of like, okay, I don’t have to have the words and the spirit is enough. So, yeah, I think those are the things that have been that passage, and just meditating on that and seeing the power of Christ through that has been such an encouragement. 

 

0:18:57 – Adam

Mr. Read. Well, I think the first thing Trisha said is they’re all great. The one first thing she said it’s just taking time to grieve over things. I don’t think our society is good at that. I don’t think we as Christians have a good theology of pain in general and that’s one thing that there’s several good books out there. There’s just the idea of living in pain or having like some reason. We think that as believers, life shouldn’t be hard or there’s just not a box for ongoing pain, like. There’s this idea of like there’s always you’re in the valley, but there’s going to be a mountain top. 

 

0:19:33 – Trisha

It’s going to get better. Life is going to get better. 

 

0:19:35 – Adam

It’s going to get better and it’s just not always that way, Like there are some people who are in valleys and they’re always going to be in a valley situation and as believers it’s just in our current society we don’t have a big box for that and I think so that’s just one thing to recognize as a spouse. 

 

My wife has done great with this. But I think just taking the time to understand what your spouse is going through If I list out my diagnosed medical conditions single space, 12 point font, like it’s over a page long, so like there’s all sorts of stuff going on and taking time to understand what those things do to affect you, like how they affect your daily life, is super important. And she’s done well at just trying to learn what it is and not just being like oh yeah, you got diagnosed with whatever and just kind of having a half knowledge of it where it doesn’t show the level of care and concern that you would if you actually understood what someone was going through. That’s just a really practical thing to do is just take the time to understand so that you can relate and help them the best you can. 

 

0:20:45 – Trisha

And I think the one thing I would add, I think one thing we have found and we have met with people and just understanding that suffering could be physical, it could be mental, it could be even just hard family situations, and so I think that there is a lot of suffering and people struggle maybe even to communicate or tell, because they think that they have to have it all together, and so one thing we’ve tried to encourage is just that brokenness is a part of the world and we need to give people space for that. 

 

0:21:17 – Adam

Yeah, I think if we were all just in general and myself included here but if we were all just in general, more open about the brokenness we have, there’d be a whole lot more uh balm of Christ to go around and be, soothing, as opposed to just trying to keep it inside and keep that veneer of everything’s okay, how are you? 

 

I’m fine, you know, yeah, going on. There’s just a lot. There’s hurt everywhere you look and just trying to be open about that. It’s tough, it’s not an easy thing, but trying to push against that. 

 

0:21:50 – Brian

So I just want to say this Trisha, thank you for allowing him to be my friend, and I mean that he has made my life richer and better because he’s in it. So thank you, Trisha, for that. And, Adam, I want to thank you for serving the ministry and for being an amazing friend to me. I’ll just tell you I don’t enter a room unless Adam usually tells me why I’m going into the room. That’s one of his, that’s what he does for me, and every day it’s like B, you have this and there’s where you’ll be and this is what you’ll be doing, that kind of stuff. So thank you, and let me say this too you know, as a, a leader, I have to make hard decisions and there’s a lot of stress. This guy will call me up, tell me the dumbest joke and then just hang up and I get to hear them every day and they are fantastic. 

 

I mean he’ll just call up, he’ll just call up and say these dumb things and just hang up. 

 

0:22:51 – Kayla

Won’t even say bye, just click so he can pretend they’re like driving him crazy. But then I get a phone call and I get the joke. 

 

0:22:59 – Adam

I won’t have to take as many crisis naps now. And then there’s that our kids might appreciate that you hear and maybe you give a better feedback because I don’t think that he gets the great, you know our teenage daughters don’t laugh as much at the dumb jokes, so you might relieve some of that from them. You’re taking the pressure off. 

 

0:23:17 – Brian

There you go. I want to say this finally to both of you you help us put our pain into a proper perspective. You help us put what we’re going through into a proper perspective. And, Trisha, you said something pretty profound. You said that if he’s the God of eternity, then he’s the God of today. If he can handle eternity, he can handle this, and there’s things that we’re walking through right now, that kind of stuff, and that’s helped me because, well, if he can handle my eternity, he can handle this. Now, I’d rather it be pain free, for sure, right, yeah, you know what I’m saying. I’d like to have bubble gum and Willy Wonka and candy and everything else. Ice cream, ice cream, ice cream. That would be nice Peanuts. Here we go. He’s trying to kill me. 

 

0:24:00 – Kayla

This is what he does to me. 

 

0:24:02 – Brian

So thank you for that reminder that he is big enough to handle our stuff. And, Adam Read, I’ll tell you this publicly and I have told you this privately I’m a better man because you’re in my life and as long as I have a job, you have a job and I love you and I’m thankful for you. 

 

0:24:25 – Adam

Very kind. I love you both and just privileged to be your friends and to know you guys, and you are a blessing to me. 

 

0:24:30 – Trisha

Yeah, and thank you for giving us a chance to share our story. It’s a privilege as well. 

 

0:24:36 – Adam

I found this one truth super encouraging. It’s just a quote by C.S. Lewis, but as we think about the pain we have here and placing our hope somewhere else than in relief from stuff, now, C.S. Lewis said if we find within ourselves a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world, and that’s just been a huge help to me in perspective. 

 

0:25:02 – Kayla

That exact quote was shared at our women’s retreat this last weekend. So I just want you both to know that when you walk into a space, you may not feel it, but Jesus is all over you and I see it in you, I see it in your kids. Yes, I thank you for taking time today to share him, because that’s what you did. You could have sat here for the last however many minutes and lamented all the 43.22. Here you go. 

 

0:25:41 – Adam

Oh, it’s nap time. 

 

0:25:42 – Kayla

I was going to say he’s going to need two crisis naps this afternoon, but I just want you to know that I believe with everything in me that God is going to use your suffering to change someone else, because they’re going to be reminded that he is the God of all of it, and so thank you. I know it’s hard to talk about suffering, but you almost made it sound joyful, which that’s what God wants us to do sometimes, so thank you, thank you both. 

 

I love how they have made a works of God list. You call that what? 

 

0:26:21 – Brian

Tiny mercies I keep in my Apple notes folder. On my phone I keep a folder called tiny mercies. 

 

0:26:28 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:26:29 – Brian

And, as I said during the podcast, it’s whenever things get very stressful I need to be mindful to look at God at work in other areas, not just the one that I’m all stressed about, because that’ll help my heart to know okay, he’s still there, he’s still working, he’s still God. 

 

0:26:44 – Kayla

Yes, there was something else. Very sweet was listening to them share about different people who, not just for them but for their kids, who have been the hands and feet of Christ for them. They’ve done things for them that have carried them from, like decorating for Christmas, giving them gift cards, wrapping presents. I mean, that’s a love language of its own, seriously. 

 

0:27:14 – Brian

I’d haul them to the mall. I’d put people there wrapping. 

 

0:27:17 – Kayla

Maybe those of us who aren’t suffering can seek God as to how we can provide mercy to those in the throes of it. That’s something I’ve been chewing on since we sat with them. 

 

0:27:32 – Brian

Trisha mentioned a spiritual principle that I love the way she put it. She said we all get spiritual amnesia In other words we forget what God has already done for us yeah. We forget that, and so it’s good to look back and see what God has done, and I want to encourage each of us to do that. That’s just a mental reminder. Look back and see what God has done, and I want to encourage each of us to do that. That’s just a mental reminder. Look back and see what. 

 

0:27:54 – Kayla

God has done, because his faithfulness is what’s going to remind you that he will carry you through the next thing. There was a statement. Adam said I’ve changed a lot, and he said if I was healed and when he talked about the blind man, I think it was in John 9 he referenced it would be easy for me to go back to who I was. And so I realized that this is God sanctifying me to make me more like him. What an amazing place to land when you’re walking around, sometimes limping around with three different illnesses, and yet you realize that this is so that you can be made more like Christ. 

 

0:28:38 – Brian

That’s one thing about Adam he pushes me. He doesn’t do it overtly, but just by his quiet pursuit. I want to be more like Jesus because of Adam. 

 

0:28:50 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:28:51 – Brian

Because I got to be honest with you. He lives out that passage of John 9. I’d be angry about it. I know my heart. I’d be bitter. Adam said this quote I need to stop chasing freedom from pain. True freedom is the hope and healing that will come one day. That’s truly having a heavenward look, that’s truly looking toward heaven. And he just read a book by Paul Tripp that’s called Forever and he was telling me how that’s really helped him look toward heaven and believe it and to put that in his heart. 

 

0:29:33 – Kayla

He shared with us how the word of God steadies him reading Scripture and soaking that in, and that’s so true. I remember we went through a very challenging season early in our marriage and it was a situation completely out of our control. But someone advised me to read the Psalms and I thought, are you crazy? But I committed to read one Psalm a day. I kept my word to that person and it was transformational how my heart was at the end of that versus where I was sitting going into that situation. 

 

0:30:17 – Brian

He says pray that I will live well with what I’ve been given. Again, there’s almost. It even says this to view it as a gift. 

 

0:30:28 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:30:28 – Brian

To view it and it is from the Lord. Okay, it is from the Lord. Okay, it is from the Lord. But there’s also this thing that we call dark providence or something like that. I can’t remember the exact theological term.

 

0:30:39 – Kayla

Is it bitter providence? 

 

0:30:40 – Brian

Bitter, bitter providence, yeah, that’s what it’s called that, like what God brings into our lives can sometimes make us bitter, and I think that’s where I would be, because one of my biggest fears is to be a burden to you. It’s one of my biggest fears, and so my fear is is God going to bring something like that in my life and now it’s going to unjustly impact those in my life? 

 

0:31:05 – Kayla

I want to end with these reminders from both of them, but most of this came from Trisha. Reminders from both of them, but most of this came from Trisha. Allow yourself to grieve the life you wanted. I loved that. Just it’s okay to not be okay with what’s going on and it’s okay to mourn that yes, and even though you’re accepting where you are, it doesn’t take anything away from what you wish. 

 

0:31:28 – Brian

But neither of them are angry. 

 

0:31:30 – Kayla

No, Remember that God is still in control. Be willing to learn about the other person’s condition. I loved this that Trisha has taken the time to actually research Adam’s conditions so that she can find ways to show care, ask the right questions when they go to the doctor, and to show empathy. So those are just some good reminders to all of us. If we find ourselves in a situation where someone is really suffering and it is an illness or a struggle that we don’t understand, allow them to walk through some of these steps and then be willing to do some of them ourselves. 

 

0:32:13 – Brian

We want to give you a coffee mug and some stickers. And, if I could be so bold, I just want to ask you a question, and this is this week’s trivia question have you been encouraged by Adam and Trisha? That’s all I want to ask, and if you say yes, we’ll send you a coffee mug and a pack of stickers, because they have been encouraging to us. Yeah, so understand that. To do that, you go to our website. 

 

0:32:42 – Kayla

Go find our trivia button. Sorry, I totally zoned out there for a second. Click the trivia button at peasandcarrotspodcast.com website and simply answer this question. Were you encouraged. Were you encouraged I also the reason I zoned out. I kind of want to take it a step further. If someone wants to be really brave, share with us a time that you saw a tiny mercy from. 

 

0:33:08 – Brian

God, that’s good, that’s even better. Let’s do that. 

 

0:33:10 – Kayla

So, yes, please, please, share with us if you were encouraged, and we will pass that on to Adam and Trisha, but we would also love to hear your stories of tiny mercies that God has shown in your life. 

 

0:33:23 – Brian

So simply go to our website peasandcarrotspodcast.com, look for the trivia question and simply tell us when was a time that you saw a tiny mercy from God. So there you go, we’ll send you a coffee mug and a pack of stickers. Hey, you can search the Peas and Carrots podcast wherever you get your podcast. 

 

0:33:42 – Kayla

Or visit our website peasandcarrotspodcast.com. When you do, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast. You can also follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast. 

 

0:33:53 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Growing through the challenges we face and finding hope along the way. That’s the Jesus Fix It Podcast with Jess. Check out jesusfixit.com or search Jesus Fix It wherever you listen to podcasts.

 

 

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Season 3, Episode 12: Can We Talk?

Can We Talk?
Can We Talk? - Episode Description

Join us on a heartfelt journey through the ups and downs of self-improvement and relationship building. Listen in as we laugh about the aches and triumphs of our gym escapades, including the notorious “cheeks to sneaks” challenge, and share a personal triumph as our Christmas tree finally gets packed away. But it’s not all fun and games; we get real about the necessity of engaging in tough conversations for leadership and personal growth. Hear about our commitment to candor in our lives and how these essential, yet often uncomfortable, discussions keep our relationships thriving.

In our latest chat, we reflect on the 31-year adventure of our relationship, weaving through the lessons of love and the evolution of our financial journey together. We explore the art of nurturing a lasting bond, emphasizing the role of trust, kindness, and the power of prayer before entering difficult dialogues. Plus, don’t miss the anticipation as we usher in the spring season, sharing our excitement for warmer days and inviting you to participate in our podcast giveaway. Tune in for these stories and more, wrapped up in the warmth of our shared experiences and laughter.

Can We Talk? - Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 

 

0:00:11 – Brian

Welcome to the Peas and Carrots Podcast. Hi, I’m Brian. 

 

0:00:15 – Kayla

I’m Kayla, I may not have known you started the microphones on or anything. I don’t know what day is this. Microphones on or anything, I don’t know what day is this? 

 

0:00:30 – Brian

Let’s just, I want to start here, I just want to start here. Oh, my goodness, the trainer at our gym has you doing something new? 

 

0:00:39 – Kayla

It’s not new, I’ve done it before, but admittedly I have not done it for a while. 

 

0:00:44 – Brian

And tell them what this is called. 

 

0:00:46 – Kayla

It’s called a squat. It has a technical name, but you’re basically no. What’s he call it? Well, he calls it cheeks to sneaks. So basically I have to bend down and my behind has to touch the back of my shoes. I can hardly walk today. 

 

0:01:04 – Brian

Cheeks to sneaks. 

 

0:01:08 – Kayla

So he had you do this Tuesday, Wednesday 20 of them times I could only do three. Admittedly, I could only do three rounds. But he did 60 cheeks to sneaks and last night I could not sit in the bathtub. 

 

0:01:21 – Brian

When she got up, it’s like she needed a walker, and you can use your own imagination. 

 

0:01:33 – Kayla

Sitting down is precarious in all circumstances, so you’re talking about using the bathroom a little bit, but yeah, so I went to the gym this morning. 

 

0:01:38 – Brian

Did you do any cheeks to sneaks I? 

 

0:01:40 – Kayla

did not. 

 

0:01:41 – Brian

Not today. 

 

0:01:41 – Kayla

No, today was riding five miles on the bike, wow. So tomorrow I’m going to need a walker. That’s where we are. You’re doing some amazing stuff at the gym, though, too, and yes, we signed on for this. 

 

0:02:02 – Brian

Nobody’s forcing us. We pay these people to do this to us. I don’t understand that. 

 

0:02:06 – Kayla

But okay, in all seriousness, what did we admit Tuesday night? 

 

0:02:12 – Brian

I was deathly tired and needed a piece of cake. 

 

0:02:17 – Kayla

We admitted that it’s good for us and that we are thankful for the people there. 

 

0:02:22 – Brian

That was a weak moment in my life. 

 

0:02:23 – Kayla

Okay, all right it does, it makes a weak moment in my life. 

 

0:02:25 – Brian

Okay, all right, it does. It makes a difference. I feel better, I’ve lost weight. 

 

0:02:30 – Kayla

We’re healthier physically, mentally, yeah, yeah, it’s good stuff, so but we’re also very sore. 

 

0:02:36 – Brian

Yes, killing us. 

 

0:02:38 – Kayla

Breaking news for those two people that are keeping score our Christmas tree is down. 

 

0:02:46 – Brian

It only took. 

 

0:02:48 – Kayla

Listen, it normally stays up until your birthday, which is what date? 

 

0:02:53 – Brian

I like having it up, I mean March 15th. 

 

0:02:55 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:02:56 – Brian

Are you trying to test my memory, if I remember stuff? 

 

0:02:58 – Kayla

I’m trying to see if you’re listening what you look a little zoned out. 

 

0:03:02 – Brian

That is not fair. 

 

0:03:03 – Kayla

This came from the person who didn’t know. You turned the microphones on. 

 

0:03:07 – Brian

This is my life, y’all. 

 

0:03:09 – Kayla

But seriously, I do want to say thank you to the friends who encouraged me to turn it into an Easter tree and then a spring tree and then a 4th of July tree. But it was time, it just felt time to tuck it away. 

 

0:03:21 – Brian

And now the den it looks huge, it looks massive. 

 

0:03:26 – Kayla

Yeah, I’m like, wow, we have all this space. 

 

0:03:27 – Brian

I’m happy to see that right corner of the tv again. I know you are. 

 

0:03:31 – Kayla

You’re very welcome so y’all. 

 

0:03:34 – Brian

Just I felt that comment. There you go, we’ve become those people. Uh-huh, we don’t start a movie after about 7, 30 or so seven is Because we’re typically asleep by 9. 

 

0:03:48 – Kayla

So if it’s a two-hour movie, we need to be starting it by 7 pm. The other night we went to bed at 7.45. And I am not sorry for it. I feel guilty. I don’t care. They don’t bother you. We get to make the rules. Oh, but we were awake at like three the next morning, so that’s probably not the greatest idea. 

 

0:04:07 – Brian

But there’s one more late breaking development I want to add to this. Ok, one of the engineers in PAR, his name is Alan. 

 

0:04:16 – Kayla

He’s bought us a popcorn machine. Now, when she says popcorn machine, we’re not talking about an air popper, no, we’re talking like one, you would go to the movie theater for, yeah, it is so cool. 

 

0:04:28 – Brian

And we just had our first bag of popcorn. 

 

0:04:30 – Kayla

We did so. Thank you, Alan. Thank you, it was very, very sweet, yeah, this is. The whole building smells like popcorn today. 

 

0:04:37 – Brian

I love popcorn, do you? 

 

0:04:38 – Kayla

I do. 

 

0:04:39 – Brian

Oh. 

 

0:04:45 – Kayla

Probably not trainer approved, but here we are. You don’t listen to them. I’ll put in another round next week. So we always say that a lot of what we talk about comes from real life, and I get that we’re probably for those of you who’ve been hanging with us for a while, we are probably revisiting some topics, and I think that’s okay, because as humans, we are ever growing, hopefully, and we start to see things differently as we experience things. And for us, we are both serving roles that require what we are going to talk about here, which is Healthy hard conversations. 

 

Yeah. 

 

0:05:27 – Brian

I’m a big believer in what’s called candor. I learned that from Jack Welch, yeah. Then Brene Brown followed that up with her book Dare to Lead, and she talks about rumbles. There’s also another book by Kim Scott that talks about candor a lot. So I’m a big believer in it. But candor doesn’t always mean hard conversations. But if you’re going to lead, if you’re going to invest in people, if you’re going to live life, you’re going to have to have some hard conversations. 

 

0:05:59 – Kayla

If you want to have a functioning relationship. Yeah, Because I mean a functioning relationship. Yeah, Because I mean it’s interesting to me the people that are conflict averse. They equate hard conversations with conflict and maybe they will lead to some conflict, but if they’re done right, that’s not always the case, and so this is kind of a rule for me. I have learned as a leader and even as a spouse and even as a friend it’s better to have a hard conversation early than to let a situation or an issue fester, Because the other side of this is nobody deserves to be blindsided by something that’s apparently been an issue for a long time, but bam, all of a sudden it’s being addressed. It’s like annual reviews. 

 

0:06:51 – Brian

I’m not a fan. Yeah, we do not do annual reviews either. You need to be having ongoing conversation. Yeah, and if you have ongoing conversations, you won’t have to have as many hard conversations. 

 

0:07:03 – Kayla

And you build trust. 

 

0:07:04 – Brian

Correct. 

 

0:07:04 – Kayla

During the regular day-to-day talking life with other people. So I think there’s this part of Brene Brown’s book where she talks about the marble jar. You remember that she talks about the marble jar and she talks about how, hopefully, you’re filling the jar with marbles. Well, there will come a point where you might have to take a marble or two out because of something that either there’s a felt lack of trust or there’s a there’s a change, and a hard conversation could possibly be perceived as one of those times. If you filled the jar full enough, it’s not going to be as hard to lose a marble here or there. 

 

0:07:48 – Brian

And I think what Ms. Kayla is referring to, as is Brene Brown, is that’s trust. You got to keep building trust, yeah, you got to keep building trust, yep, so that when those hard conversations come, you can actually take some of that out and use it to have a hard conversation In a healthy way. Yes, Now, within a lot of Christian circles let me just say this in a lot of Christian circles and some secular, it’s not considered Christian or nice to have hard conversations. 

 

0:08:17 – Kayla

But even Jesus did that. He modeled it for us in the Bible. 

 

0:08:21 – Brian

Yes, and let me say this the only way the gospel can be good news is if there’s bad news, that’s right. So you have to understand the bad news, which is we are sinners, we are separated from God. We were born this way. We are bent away from him, we are selfish, we want our own desires, and then Jesus comes to rescue us because we can’t earn our way to God. There’s no way. So he comes. The bad news is you can’t get there on your own. The bad news is you are condemned. 

 

0:08:51 – Kayla

What is the good news? The good news is grace. Yes, he came, so you’ve got to have that hard conversation in order to get to the good stuff? Amen. Why do we, as humans, struggle to have hard conversations? What are some of the things that you and I have observed? 

 

0:09:09 – Brian

We don’t want to hurt people’s feelings. 

 

0:09:11 – Kayla

We don’t want them to not like us. 

 

0:09:19 – Brian

For me. I don’t want to be rejected or I don’t want to be not accepted. I don’t want to be unlovable or seen as unlovable. 

 

0:09:23 – Kayla

We don’t want to have the conversation used against us later on, huh I never thought about that. 

 

0:09:29 – Brian

That’s how selfish I am. 

 

0:09:31 – Kayla

I’ve never thought I’ve we we’re averse to conflict. We talked about that a minute ago. Maybe we don’t want to have that hard conversation because we don’t want to. What’s the expression? Upset the apple cart. We don’t want to have drama or we don’t want to have someone who’s not happy. 

 

0:09:50 – Brian

Some people will say well, you know you should avoid that, because a fruit of the spirit is peace. Well, you might need to have a hard conversation so you can get to peace. 

 

0:10:00 – Kayla

But if you’re living in a toxic space where both people are just practicing like silent anger or passive aggressiveness, is that really peace? Because when you don’t have hard conversations that’s sometimes what it looks like is, well, I’m just going to sit over here and ice you out, or I’m going to pout, or I’m going to sit here and just stew over what happened, whereas a 10-minute conversation, it gives you the opportunity to practice kindness in choosing your words. You can practice forgiveness if you’re the one that’s having to receive the hard words. There’s just there’s so many layers to it. But I’m not a fan and this is from being married to you for 31 years, because I’ll be the first to admit you know this. 

 

When we first married, I did not do hard conversations. I would clam up anytime you tried to have a conversation with me and you finally said we got to about our third year of marriage and you said there is something you have to do for me. You have to stop putting up a wall when we need to have a conversation about something, and so I committed to that. It was hard, still is sometimes. 

 

0:11:22 – Brian

Yes. 

 

0:11:22 – Kayla

Especially when I think I’m right and I don’t want to hear it, which you normally are right. 

 

0:11:28 – Brian

Let’s just go on the record and say that. 

 

0:11:30 – Kayla

So what are we really saying to the other person when we lean into a hard conversation? 

 

0:11:35 – Brian

I think I’m saying to them I love you, I care about you, I care about you. I care about this relationship. 

 

0:11:40 – Kayla

Yes. 

 

0:11:41 – Brian

Yeah, let me say this we’re not saying that a hard conversation is you can be a jerk Not at all. That’s not what we’re saying. What we’re saying is that you have to be kind and clear, caring. You don’t have to raise your voice, you don’t go after the person. 

 

0:11:59 – Kayla

Oh, you go after the issue Go after the issue yes, and if the person is the issue, then find kind ways to express that issue. You don’t have to tear them down in the process, Because you and I have both we’ve been on the receiving end of that before and nothing good comes from that. But and I’m sure that we’ve not perfectly executed our conversations with others but but what is it that we want to say when we’re having a hard conversation to that person? 

 

0:12:31 – Brian

That I want to address this issue so I can save the relationship. 

 

0:12:36 – Kayla

Yes. 

 

0:12:36 – Brian

Or I want to address this issue so I can make the relationship better, I can make things better between us, I can make the process better. Yeah, that’s what I’m trying to do, and it’s to either restore something or improve something. Yes. 

 

0:12:52 – Kayla

That’s got to be the goal of it, and it’s to communicate. I love you enough, whoever this person is, I love you enough, whoever this person is, I love you enough. I value you that I’m not just going to write you off. We’re going to work through this. 

 

0:13:06 – Brian

I would say if you can use some humor, yeah, but get to the point. And let me say this: Please don’t talk in riddles, oh no, get to the point, be honest. 

 

0:13:18 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:13:18 – Brian

And be clear and communicate that you love that person. 

 

0:13:23 – Kayla

There’s another tenant to this that I always practice when I’m having a really hard conversation with someone. 

 

If it hits a point in the conversation, perhaps we’ve had to rumble a little bit and it’s gotten a little uncomfortable, perhaps we’ve had to rumble a little bit and it’s gotten a little uncomfortable, or maybe the person or myself is feeling kind of threatened. Then what I will do is I will say we’re going to pause this, but we’re going to come back to this at this time and I will commit to coming back to it, hopefully that day. If it’s a situation where I know, okay, we’re going to pause this, we’re going to go get done what we need to get done, but then we’re going to come back together and we’re going to revisit this. It may look like you need to give the person a couple of days if it was a really contentious conversation, but it has to be something that when you start you’re committed to finishing it, that you’re not just going to get halfway and go okay, we’ll find we’ll walk away from this, because then nothing’s been accomplished. 

 

0:14:27 – Brian

You need to get to where what I call tie the shoe, because there’s nothing worse than walk around with your shoes untied. You could trip over it. That’s like an unfinished conversation. You need to be able to finish it. Land the plane Now. Y’all may not end up agreeing okay, but you’ll need to find a framework in which you can move forward together. 

 

0:14:48 – Kayla

With mutual respect. 

 

0:14:49 – Brian

Yes. 

 

0:14:49 – Kayla

Yeah, that’s the end game. 

 

0:14:51 – Brian

Yeah Well, do these conversations ever get easier? Meh Well, do these conversations ever get easier? Let me say this it’s according as to the size of the issue. 

 

0:15:04 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:15:05 – Brian

As to the seriousness of the issue. Some of those conversations, they flow well. Some conversations are not going to flow so well because people can feel attacked, they can feel that you are coming against them personally, and I would just make that clear up front. This is not about you personally. Yeah, this is about what this is happening over here. 

 

0:15:28 – Kayla

They hopefully get easier in one respect. That is, that the more you embrace them, the less terrified you are of having a hard conversation and the less of your own value you tie to them, and what I mean by that is the more we are willing to say. Let’s sit in this space together and let’s talk this out. You’re not fretting over the fact that, ok, if I do this, this person’s going to hate me for the rest of my life, because, truthfully, that’s a whole nother topic for another day. 

 

0:16:05 – Brian

Hard conversations will make you and your relationships better. Yeah, know that, but you have to build the trust with the person before you can have them and you cannot let emotion rule the day. Exactly. So just know that Now, as Miss Kayla said, we have not perfected this. 

 

0:16:23 – Kayla

No, I bumble them. From time to time I have to go back and say can we revisit this or can I clarify that, or is there anything that you would want to say? And that’s the other part of this is the conversation has to be two-sided. A hard conversation is not just something that you like pour out, it’s something that you have to let filter in as well. So anytime a hard conversation is entered into, it’s got to be two-way. It’s got to be listening as well as speaking. 

 

0:16:54 – Brian

If it’s not, you’re just wasting your time. That’s right. So be brave, but also be kind. 

 

0:17:00 – Kayla

Yes. 

 

0:17:01 – Brian

Have those conversations. 

 

0:17:02 – Kayla

And the last thing I would say is this sounds trite to some people, but before you go into any hard conversation, pray. And ask the spirit to give you the right things to say. Sometimes he will literally put a guard over your mouth to keep you from saying things. 

 

0:17:20 – Brian

Well, I’m pretty strong. I’ve beaten that guard down a few times, but you’re exactly right. You’re 100% right. 

 

0:17:28 – Kayla

But you can do this, yes. 

 

0:17:33 – Brian

Living the dream baby. 

 

0:17:35 – Kayla

We were and we are. Oh baby, we were and we are, oh yeah. Okay, there’s just a few things that we were thinking through our last. I mean almost 31 years now. 

 

0:17:45 – Brian

I’m getting old. 

 

0:17:47 – Kayla

I mean we’ve known each other almost 32 years. Oh my gosh, here we are and here you’ve stuck with me. So there’s just a few things that you know as you think back over your time with someone. I’m going to say with your person, because for us that’s each other. Our financial status, for example, it has changed in the last 31-ish years, but our values toward each other have not. My dad always said money’s gained and lost every single day. You can always make more money, but the most precious commodity we have is each other. 

 

0:18:24 – Brian

That’s exactly right To the point that I’ve tried to embrace. This is that I can replace stuff. I can always earn more money. Yeah, I can’t replace you, yep. So as we look back over these 31 years, you know taking care of you has been my greatest delight, that’s very sweet, because jobs come and go. Why are you being so nice today? 

 

0:18:49 – Kayla

I had popcorn. 

 

0:18:53 – Brian

I set you up for a great sentimental moment. I had popcorn. She’s so proud of herself right now. What I was going to say. What I was going to say is we have worked so hard to get certain things and I look back and it isn’t the thing that made the memory. It’s working with you. 

 

0:19:19 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:19:20 – Brian

It was through the struggle, it was doing those things together. 

 

0:19:23 – Kayla

The things pale in comparison. Yes, yeah. 

 

0:19:27 – Brian

I would also say this looking back, you aren’t meant to have it all immediately. 

 

0:19:32 – Kayla

No. 

 

0:19:33 – Brian

And maybe you never should. So there’s two things here. One you aren’t meant to have it all to me. You should have to work hard, you should have to learn some lessons, you should have to. 

 

0:19:43 – Kayla

And lean into each other. For that. 

 

0:19:45 – Brian

At the same time, there might be some things that you’ll never have enough money for, Like I’ll never have enough money to buy an autographed letter by Abraham Lincoln no-transcript. 

 

0:20:05 – Kayla

But in all seriousness, we could have spent the entire last 31 years chasing after all the things. When do you get to enjoy what you already have, if that’s your mindset? 

 

0:20:19 – Brian

I enjoy. This is going to sound really stupid. I enjoy a simple life. When we leave here every day from the offices we go home, I’m going to be serious. We do not live a big, exciting life. I mean being serious.

 

0:20:31 – Kayla

And most people don’t. 

 

0:20:32 – Brian

Most people don’t. I mean, we go home and I’ll plop down and I’ll watch the news for a little while. 

 

0:20:38 – Kayla

I’ll cook dinner. 

 

0:20:40 – Brian

We’ll cook dinner We’ll watch an episode of West Wing or something. 

 

0:20:45 – Kayla

Or read. Some nights the TV doesn’t even go on. 

 

0:20:51 – Brian

I’m usually asleep in the recliner by about 815. But that’s our simple life, and if there’s a topic we need to talk about, we’ll do it. 

 

0:20:59 – Kayla

But for me, here’s what I’ll say this might sound ooey and gooey, but living the dream for me has been doing all these moments with you. Yeah, it’s in the mundane that a life is built, so to build on that, we started out together with a gifted couch, a gifted chair and a gifted bed. And what we can tell you now, 31 years in, is memories aren’t made around the stuff. It’s made around the day-to-day. The memories we have are about us. We can’t tell you what we were wearing when those memories were made. 

 

0:21:38 – Brian

It’s about the doing, it’s about the living, it’s about the decisions. It’s about being there together, facing the hardships. 

 

0:21:45 – Kayla

It’s about the shared experiences, not the stuff. It’s not the life you build with stuff, it’s the life you build with each other. And so, yeah, Friday night, date night. It always has been and it always will be. 

 

0:22:00 – Brian

We lived in New Orleans, we’d go to Texas Steakhouse Roadhouse, something. 

 

0:22:06 – Kayla

Texas Steakhouse. I think Texas Steakhouse we’d go to and we’d get a little meal yeah, and we’d go to a little. 

 

0:22:12 – Brian

I think we went to Walmart probably and then we’d come home. That was our date night and very, very rarely. 

 

0:22:20 – Kayla

If we had been gifted some money, we would do our bi-weekly dinner. We could not afford to go out every Friday night. We would go out every other Friday night and then we would go to a movie if we had been gifted some money. Otherwise it was game nights or watching a show or a movie at home. And yeah, I mean it was a very date nights now are. 

 

0:22:48 – Brian

we’ll go out to dinner and we might hit up a bookstore or go to Target or something. 

 

0:22:55 – Kayla

Come home, we’ll watch or we might go to a movie in the afternoon. Yeah, if we have a Friday afternoon. Sometimes we’ll go to a movie, but yeah, but it’s about the carving out space for each other. 

 

0:23:11 – Brian

I’m gonna say something here you have to enjoy the person before you enjoy the experience, because you need to be more in love with who you’re spending time with than being in love with what you’re trying to do, because that’s not where life is built. Yeah, so that was pretty good. You is smart. Stop. You need to carve out some sacred time for each other. Now. We spend a great deal of time together, so that’s not an issue for us, but now Friday nights are a sacred time for us. Yeah. 

 

0:23:47 – Kayla

There’s some eye rolling happening right now. I feel it. There’s some really, but you’re not chasing kids around and you’re not doing this and you’re not doing that. I get that, I do, but there were many years and there are many seasons where we are very, very busy, and yet it’s what we’ve prioritized. We have made sure that Friday night is sacred. We have often said no to things. 

 

Because that’s date night Because it’s date night and it’s not because we don’t love other people. It’s because we love each other. And there’s value in figuring out. How do you make this almost a habit at first and then it becomes something that you hate to miss it. 

 

0:24:34 – Brian

There’s a lot of truth to the statement that marriages work. Yeah, it’s a choice to love that person more than yourself, to lay down your own selfishness, to prioritize them over all the world’s demands, to place boundaries with others who don’t honor what you have. You’ve got to do that. So marriage is work. It doesn’t come easy. 

 

0:24:54 – Kayla

No. 

 

0:24:54 – Brian

But if you put the work in you know relationship does find a rhythm that works and brings joy. 

 

0:25:01 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

So, and it really is. It is a daily dying to yourself because I love me, some me. But if you love that person, you want what they want. If you love that person, then you are willing to prioritize their needs over your own and that becomes almost second nature in some ways. There are things that it’s just if you’re happy, I’m happy, and when you get to that place it doesn’t feel like as much work. I’m speaking to those of you who are fresh into marriage or fresh into a relationship. Yeah, it’s going to take some work and sometimes you’re going to feel like you’re giving a whole lot more than you’re getting. 

 

0:25:51 – Brian

But the end result is that if you really love that person and you want what’s best for them, then you’re not worried about what you get out of it, exactly right, and you’re going to make them a priority and you’re going to push some other things out of the way so you can spend time with that person. 

 

0:26:09 – Kayla

I think the last one we would share is dream together. 

 

0:26:14 – Brian

Dream on, dream on. Oh dear, just saying. 

 

0:26:26 – Kayla

And we’ve always made time for dreaming like places we want to go, things we want to accomplish and then chase as many of those dreams as you can. 

 

0:26:32 – Brian

Yes, miss Kayla has a dream of when we retire at some point we will have two labs, and she has a vision that one will be hers, one will be mine. I want to tell you right now they’ll both be hers. Okay, they will both be hers. 

 

0:26:44 – Kayla

Man. 

 

0:26:44 – Brian

I’ll let you pet them, but you need to figure out what you share in common as a dream and then go for it yeah. And yeah, you’re going to be afraid, yeah, things are going to go haywire, but keep pushing after it and that dream will actually draw you closer together. 

 

0:27:00 – Kayla

Yeah, and some of you are sitting there going. Well, that’s kind of contradictory to what you just said five minutes ago about keeping it simple. 

 

0:27:07 – Brian

Honey, we’re all full of contradictions. 

 

0:27:09 – Kayla

But the truth is it’s okay to have things that you aspire to, it’s okay to have trips that you want to take and memories are made on those trips, and it’s okay to have things that you want to enjoy in your journey. Don’t be ruled by them is what we were saying. But yeah, we have a dream to one day have a place on a lake, have two labs brother, sister maybe, I don’t know. 

 

0:27:38 – Brian

One of the rooms has to be a library. Yes, like to have a dark paneled room with a library that has a couple of leather chairs, some lamps that’s just a dream, but that’s something we look forward to down the road. 

 

0:27:50 – Kayla

Yeah, again, our whole point in sharing all this is where did you come from and where are you going? And, as we’re looking forward to our 32nd year, there’s just so much more to look forward to, and we hope that for all of you, yes, in your relationships. 

 

0:28:10 – Brian

Take the time to make it a priority. Yeah, say that. Hey, thanks for listening. We appreciate you tuning in this week. Share this episode with a friend or two. We’d appreciate that. 

 

0:28:20 – Kayla

Anybody want to get mugged? 

 

0:28:22 – Brian

No. Not that kind of mug? Oh, coffee mug, that kind of mug, yes, first of mug, oh, coffee mug, that kind of mug, yes. First of all, our friend Michelle won a coffee mug and a pack of stickers. And thank you, Michelle, from South Carolina, for listening. Yeah, but hey, you can win a coffee mug and a pack of stickers. All you have to do go to our website. 

 

0:28:44 – Kayla

Yep, it’s the peasandcarrotspodcast.com. If you’ll there, click the trivia button and then we always have like a random question. 

 

0:28:53 – Brian

This week’s question is what are you looking forward to this month? 

 

0:28:57 – Kayla

It’s getting a little warmer Spring is coming. I promise it’s coming. 

 

0:29:02 – Brian

Snowed here today. 

 

0:29:03 – Kayla

I know? Well, actually it snowed, then it sleeted, then the sunshine, then it snowed, then it sleeted, then the sunshine, then it snowed again, then it sleeted, and now it looks like I don’t know what it’s going to do. South Florida, yeah. 

 

0:29:13 – Brian

So, hey, you can win yourself a coffee mug and a pack of stickers. You go to peasandcarrotspodcast.com, you click the trivia button and when you get there, you answer this question. 

 

0:29:22 – Kayla

What are you looking forward to this month? You can search the Search the Peas and Carrots Podcast wherever you get your podcasts, or visit our website. Again, that’s peasandcarrotspodcast.com. When you do, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast. 

 

0:29:35 – Brian

Also find us on Facebook and Instagram, Just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast. 

 

0:29:40 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Growing through the challenges we face and finding hope along the way. That’s the Jesus Fix It Podcast with Jess. Check out jesusfixit.com or search Jesus Fix It wherever you listen to podcasts.

 

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