Season 3, Episode 12: Can We Talk?

Can We Talk?
Can We Talk? - Episode Description

Join us on a heartfelt journey through the ups and downs of self-improvement and relationship building. Listen in as we laugh about the aches and triumphs of our gym escapades, including the notorious “cheeks to sneaks” challenge, and share a personal triumph as our Christmas tree finally gets packed away. But it’s not all fun and games; we get real about the necessity of engaging in tough conversations for leadership and personal growth. Hear about our commitment to candor in our lives and how these essential, yet often uncomfortable, discussions keep our relationships thriving.

In our latest chat, we reflect on the 31-year adventure of our relationship, weaving through the lessons of love and the evolution of our financial journey together. We explore the art of nurturing a lasting bond, emphasizing the role of trust, kindness, and the power of prayer before entering difficult dialogues. Plus, don’t miss the anticipation as we usher in the spring season, sharing our excitement for warmer days and inviting you to participate in our podcast giveaway. Tune in for these stories and more, wrapped up in the warmth of our shared experiences and laughter.

Can We Talk? - Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 

 

0:00:11 – Brian

Welcome to the Peas and Carrots Podcast. Hi, I’m Brian. 

 

0:00:15 – Kayla

I’m Kayla, I may not have known you started the microphones on or anything. I don’t know what day is this. Microphones on or anything, I don’t know what day is this? 

 

0:00:30 – Brian

Let’s just, I want to start here, I just want to start here. Oh, my goodness, the trainer at our gym has you doing something new? 

 

0:00:39 – Kayla

It’s not new, I’ve done it before, but admittedly I have not done it for a while. 

 

0:00:44 – Brian

And tell them what this is called. 

 

0:00:46 – Kayla

It’s called a squat. It has a technical name, but you’re basically no. What’s he call it? Well, he calls it cheeks to sneaks. So basically I have to bend down and my behind has to touch the back of my shoes. I can hardly walk today. 

 

0:01:04 – Brian

Cheeks to sneaks. 

 

0:01:08 – Kayla

So he had you do this Tuesday, Wednesday 20 of them times I could only do three. Admittedly, I could only do three rounds. But he did 60 cheeks to sneaks and last night I could not sit in the bathtub. 

 

0:01:21 – Brian

When she got up, it’s like she needed a walker, and you can use your own imagination. 

 

0:01:33 – Kayla

Sitting down is precarious in all circumstances, so you’re talking about using the bathroom a little bit, but yeah, so I went to the gym this morning. 

 

0:01:38 – Brian

Did you do any cheeks to sneaks I? 

 

0:01:40 – Kayla

did not. 

 

0:01:41 – Brian

Not today. 

 

0:01:41 – Kayla

No, today was riding five miles on the bike, wow. So tomorrow I’m going to need a walker. That’s where we are. You’re doing some amazing stuff at the gym, though, too, and yes, we signed on for this. 

 

0:02:02 – Brian

Nobody’s forcing us. We pay these people to do this to us. I don’t understand that. 

 

0:02:06 – Kayla

But okay, in all seriousness, what did we admit Tuesday night? 

 

0:02:12 – Brian

I was deathly tired and needed a piece of cake. 

 

0:02:17 – Kayla

We admitted that it’s good for us and that we are thankful for the people there. 

 

0:02:22 – Brian

That was a weak moment in my life. 

 

0:02:23 – Kayla

Okay, all right it does, it makes a weak moment in my life. 

 

0:02:25 – Brian

Okay, all right, it does. It makes a difference. I feel better, I’ve lost weight. 

 

0:02:30 – Kayla

We’re healthier physically, mentally, yeah, yeah, it’s good stuff, so but we’re also very sore. 

 

0:02:36 – Brian

Yes, killing us. 

 

0:02:38 – Kayla

Breaking news for those two people that are keeping score our Christmas tree is down. 

 

0:02:46 – Brian

It only took. 

 

0:02:48 – Kayla

Listen, it normally stays up until your birthday, which is what date? 

 

0:02:53 – Brian

I like having it up, I mean March 15th. 

 

0:02:55 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:02:56 – Brian

Are you trying to test my memory, if I remember stuff? 

 

0:02:58 – Kayla

I’m trying to see if you’re listening what you look a little zoned out. 

 

0:03:02 – Brian

That is not fair. 

 

0:03:03 – Kayla

This came from the person who didn’t know. You turned the microphones on. 

 

0:03:07 – Brian

This is my life, y’all. 

 

0:03:09 – Kayla

But seriously, I do want to say thank you to the friends who encouraged me to turn it into an Easter tree and then a spring tree and then a 4th of July tree. But it was time, it just felt time to tuck it away. 

 

0:03:21 – Brian

And now the den it looks huge, it looks massive. 

 

0:03:26 – Kayla

Yeah, I’m like, wow, we have all this space. 

 

0:03:27 – Brian

I’m happy to see that right corner of the tv again. I know you are. 

 

0:03:31 – Kayla

You’re very welcome so y’all. 

 

0:03:34 – Brian

Just I felt that comment. There you go, we’ve become those people. Uh-huh, we don’t start a movie after about 7, 30 or so seven is Because we’re typically asleep by 9. 

 

0:03:48 – Kayla

So if it’s a two-hour movie, we need to be starting it by 7 pm. The other night we went to bed at 7.45. And I am not sorry for it. I feel guilty. I don’t care. They don’t bother you. We get to make the rules. Oh, but we were awake at like three the next morning, so that’s probably not the greatest idea. 

 

0:04:07 – Brian

But there’s one more late breaking development I want to add to this. Ok, one of the engineers in PAR, his name is Alan. 

 

0:04:16 – Kayla

He’s bought us a popcorn machine. Now, when she says popcorn machine, we’re not talking about an air popper, no, we’re talking like one, you would go to the movie theater for, yeah, it is so cool. 

 

0:04:28 – Brian

And we just had our first bag of popcorn. 

 

0:04:30 – Kayla

We did so. Thank you, Alan. Thank you, it was very, very sweet, yeah, this is. The whole building smells like popcorn today. 

 

0:04:37 – Brian

I love popcorn, do you? 

 

0:04:38 – Kayla

I do. 

 

0:04:39 – Brian

Oh. 

 

0:04:45 – Kayla

Probably not trainer approved, but here we are. You don’t listen to them. I’ll put in another round next week. So we always say that a lot of what we talk about comes from real life, and I get that we’re probably for those of you who’ve been hanging with us for a while, we are probably revisiting some topics, and I think that’s okay, because as humans, we are ever growing, hopefully, and we start to see things differently as we experience things. And for us, we are both serving roles that require what we are going to talk about here, which is Healthy hard conversations. 

 

Yeah. 

 

0:05:27 – Brian

I’m a big believer in what’s called candor. I learned that from Jack Welch, yeah. Then Brene Brown followed that up with her book Dare to Lead, and she talks about rumbles. There’s also another book by Kim Scott that talks about candor a lot. So I’m a big believer in it. But candor doesn’t always mean hard conversations. But if you’re going to lead, if you’re going to invest in people, if you’re going to live life, you’re going to have to have some hard conversations. 

 

0:05:59 – Kayla

If you want to have a functioning relationship. Yeah, Because I mean a functioning relationship. Yeah, Because I mean it’s interesting to me the people that are conflict averse. They equate hard conversations with conflict and maybe they will lead to some conflict, but if they’re done right, that’s not always the case, and so this is kind of a rule for me. I have learned as a leader and even as a spouse and even as a friend it’s better to have a hard conversation early than to let a situation or an issue fester, Because the other side of this is nobody deserves to be blindsided by something that’s apparently been an issue for a long time, but bam, all of a sudden it’s being addressed. It’s like annual reviews. 

 

0:06:51 – Brian

I’m not a fan. Yeah, we do not do annual reviews either. You need to be having ongoing conversation. Yeah, and if you have ongoing conversations, you won’t have to have as many hard conversations. 

 

0:07:03 – Kayla

And you build trust. 

 

0:07:04 – Brian

Correct. 

 

0:07:04 – Kayla

During the regular day-to-day talking life with other people. So I think there’s this part of Brene Brown’s book where she talks about the marble jar. You remember that she talks about the marble jar and she talks about how, hopefully, you’re filling the jar with marbles. Well, there will come a point where you might have to take a marble or two out because of something that either there’s a felt lack of trust or there’s a there’s a change, and a hard conversation could possibly be perceived as one of those times. If you filled the jar full enough, it’s not going to be as hard to lose a marble here or there. 

 

0:07:48 – Brian

And I think what Ms. Kayla is referring to, as is Brene Brown, is that’s trust. You got to keep building trust, yeah, you got to keep building trust, yep, so that when those hard conversations come, you can actually take some of that out and use it to have a hard conversation In a healthy way. Yes, Now, within a lot of Christian circles let me just say this in a lot of Christian circles and some secular, it’s not considered Christian or nice to have hard conversations. 

 

0:08:17 – Kayla

But even Jesus did that. He modeled it for us in the Bible. 

 

0:08:21 – Brian

Yes, and let me say this the only way the gospel can be good news is if there’s bad news, that’s right. So you have to understand the bad news, which is we are sinners, we are separated from God. We were born this way. We are bent away from him, we are selfish, we want our own desires, and then Jesus comes to rescue us because we can’t earn our way to God. There’s no way. So he comes. The bad news is you can’t get there on your own. The bad news is you are condemned. 

 

0:08:51 – Kayla

What is the good news? The good news is grace. Yes, he came, so you’ve got to have that hard conversation in order to get to the good stuff? Amen. Why do we, as humans, struggle to have hard conversations? What are some of the things that you and I have observed? 

 

0:09:09 – Brian

We don’t want to hurt people’s feelings. 

 

0:09:11 – Kayla

We don’t want them to not like us. 

 

0:09:19 – Brian

For me. I don’t want to be rejected or I don’t want to be not accepted. I don’t want to be unlovable or seen as unlovable. 

 

0:09:23 – Kayla

We don’t want to have the conversation used against us later on, huh I never thought about that. 

 

0:09:29 – Brian

That’s how selfish I am. 

 

0:09:31 – Kayla

I’ve never thought I’ve we we’re averse to conflict. We talked about that a minute ago. Maybe we don’t want to have that hard conversation because we don’t want to. What’s the expression? Upset the apple cart. We don’t want to have drama or we don’t want to have someone who’s not happy. 

 

0:09:50 – Brian

Some people will say well, you know you should avoid that, because a fruit of the spirit is peace. Well, you might need to have a hard conversation so you can get to peace. 

 

0:10:00 – Kayla

But if you’re living in a toxic space where both people are just practicing like silent anger or passive aggressiveness, is that really peace? Because when you don’t have hard conversations that’s sometimes what it looks like is, well, I’m just going to sit over here and ice you out, or I’m going to pout, or I’m going to sit here and just stew over what happened, whereas a 10-minute conversation, it gives you the opportunity to practice kindness in choosing your words. You can practice forgiveness if you’re the one that’s having to receive the hard words. There’s just there’s so many layers to it. But I’m not a fan and this is from being married to you for 31 years, because I’ll be the first to admit you know this. 

 

When we first married, I did not do hard conversations. I would clam up anytime you tried to have a conversation with me and you finally said we got to about our third year of marriage and you said there is something you have to do for me. You have to stop putting up a wall when we need to have a conversation about something, and so I committed to that. It was hard, still is sometimes. 

 

0:11:22 – Brian

Yes. 

 

0:11:22 – Kayla

Especially when I think I’m right and I don’t want to hear it, which you normally are right. 

 

0:11:28 – Brian

Let’s just go on the record and say that. 

 

0:11:30 – Kayla

So what are we really saying to the other person when we lean into a hard conversation? 

 

0:11:35 – Brian

I think I’m saying to them I love you, I care about you, I care about you. I care about this relationship. 

 

0:11:40 – Kayla

Yes. 

 

0:11:41 – Brian

Yeah, let me say this we’re not saying that a hard conversation is you can be a jerk Not at all. That’s not what we’re saying. What we’re saying is that you have to be kind and clear, caring. You don’t have to raise your voice, you don’t go after the person. 

 

0:11:59 – Kayla

Oh, you go after the issue Go after the issue yes, and if the person is the issue, then find kind ways to express that issue. You don’t have to tear them down in the process, Because you and I have both we’ve been on the receiving end of that before and nothing good comes from that. But and I’m sure that we’ve not perfectly executed our conversations with others but but what is it that we want to say when we’re having a hard conversation to that person? 

 

0:12:31 – Brian

That I want to address this issue so I can save the relationship. 

 

0:12:36 – Kayla

Yes. 

 

0:12:36 – Brian

Or I want to address this issue so I can make the relationship better, I can make things better between us, I can make the process better. Yeah, that’s what I’m trying to do, and it’s to either restore something or improve something. Yes. 

 

0:12:52 – Kayla

That’s got to be the goal of it, and it’s to communicate. I love you enough, whoever this person is, I love you enough, whoever this person is, I love you enough. I value you that I’m not just going to write you off. We’re going to work through this. 

 

0:13:06 – Brian

I would say if you can use some humor, yeah, but get to the point. And let me say this: Please don’t talk in riddles, oh no, get to the point, be honest. 

 

0:13:18 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:13:18 – Brian

And be clear and communicate that you love that person. 

 

0:13:23 – Kayla

There’s another tenant to this that I always practice when I’m having a really hard conversation with someone. 

 

If it hits a point in the conversation, perhaps we’ve had to rumble a little bit and it’s gotten a little uncomfortable, perhaps we’ve had to rumble a little bit and it’s gotten a little uncomfortable, or maybe the person or myself is feeling kind of threatened. Then what I will do is I will say we’re going to pause this, but we’re going to come back to this at this time and I will commit to coming back to it, hopefully that day. If it’s a situation where I know, okay, we’re going to pause this, we’re going to go get done what we need to get done, but then we’re going to come back together and we’re going to revisit this. It may look like you need to give the person a couple of days if it was a really contentious conversation, but it has to be something that when you start you’re committed to finishing it, that you’re not just going to get halfway and go okay, we’ll find we’ll walk away from this, because then nothing’s been accomplished. 

 

0:14:27 – Brian

You need to get to where what I call tie the shoe, because there’s nothing worse than walk around with your shoes untied. You could trip over it. That’s like an unfinished conversation. You need to be able to finish it. Land the plane Now. Y’all may not end up agreeing okay, but you’ll need to find a framework in which you can move forward together. 

 

0:14:48 – Kayla

With mutual respect. 

 

0:14:49 – Brian

Yes. 

 

0:14:49 – Kayla

Yeah, that’s the end game. 

 

0:14:51 – Brian

Yeah Well, do these conversations ever get easier? Meh Well, do these conversations ever get easier? Let me say this it’s according as to the size of the issue. 

 

0:15:04 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:15:05 – Brian

As to the seriousness of the issue. Some of those conversations, they flow well. Some conversations are not going to flow so well because people can feel attacked, they can feel that you are coming against them personally, and I would just make that clear up front. This is not about you personally. Yeah, this is about what this is happening over here. 

 

0:15:28 – Kayla

They hopefully get easier in one respect. That is, that the more you embrace them, the less terrified you are of having a hard conversation and the less of your own value you tie to them, and what I mean by that is the more we are willing to say. Let’s sit in this space together and let’s talk this out. You’re not fretting over the fact that, ok, if I do this, this person’s going to hate me for the rest of my life, because, truthfully, that’s a whole nother topic for another day. 

 

0:16:05 – Brian

Hard conversations will make you and your relationships better. Yeah, know that, but you have to build the trust with the person before you can have them and you cannot let emotion rule the day. Exactly. So just know that Now, as Miss Kayla said, we have not perfected this. 

 

0:16:23 – Kayla

No, I bumble them. From time to time I have to go back and say can we revisit this or can I clarify that, or is there anything that you would want to say? And that’s the other part of this is the conversation has to be two-sided. A hard conversation is not just something that you like pour out, it’s something that you have to let filter in as well. So anytime a hard conversation is entered into, it’s got to be two-way. It’s got to be listening as well as speaking. 

 

0:16:54 – Brian

If it’s not, you’re just wasting your time. That’s right. So be brave, but also be kind. 

 

0:17:00 – Kayla

Yes. 

 

0:17:01 – Brian

Have those conversations. 

 

0:17:02 – Kayla

And the last thing I would say is this sounds trite to some people, but before you go into any hard conversation, pray. And ask the spirit to give you the right things to say. Sometimes he will literally put a guard over your mouth to keep you from saying things. 

 

0:17:20 – Brian

Well, I’m pretty strong. I’ve beaten that guard down a few times, but you’re exactly right. You’re 100% right. 

 

0:17:28 – Kayla

But you can do this, yes. 

 

0:17:33 – Brian

Living the dream baby. 

 

0:17:35 – Kayla

We were and we are. Oh baby, we were and we are, oh yeah. Okay, there’s just a few things that we were thinking through our last. I mean almost 31 years now. 

 

0:17:45 – Brian

I’m getting old. 

 

0:17:47 – Kayla

I mean we’ve known each other almost 32 years. Oh my gosh, here we are and here you’ve stuck with me. So there’s just a few things that you know as you think back over your time with someone. I’m going to say with your person, because for us that’s each other. Our financial status, for example, it has changed in the last 31-ish years, but our values toward each other have not. My dad always said money’s gained and lost every single day. You can always make more money, but the most precious commodity we have is each other. 

 

0:18:24 – Brian

That’s exactly right To the point that I’ve tried to embrace. This is that I can replace stuff. I can always earn more money. Yeah, I can’t replace you, yep. So as we look back over these 31 years, you know taking care of you has been my greatest delight, that’s very sweet, because jobs come and go. Why are you being so nice today? 

 

0:18:49 – Kayla

I had popcorn. 

 

0:18:53 – Brian

I set you up for a great sentimental moment. I had popcorn. She’s so proud of herself right now. What I was going to say. What I was going to say is we have worked so hard to get certain things and I look back and it isn’t the thing that made the memory. It’s working with you. 

 

0:19:19 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:19:20 – Brian

It was through the struggle, it was doing those things together. 

 

0:19:23 – Kayla

The things pale in comparison. Yes, yeah. 

 

0:19:27 – Brian

I would also say this looking back, you aren’t meant to have it all immediately. 

 

0:19:32 – Kayla

No. 

 

0:19:33 – Brian

And maybe you never should. So there’s two things here. One you aren’t meant to have it all to me. You should have to work hard, you should have to learn some lessons, you should have to. 

 

0:19:43 – Kayla

And lean into each other. For that. 

 

0:19:45 – Brian

At the same time, there might be some things that you’ll never have enough money for, Like I’ll never have enough money to buy an autographed letter by Abraham Lincoln no-transcript. 

 

0:20:05 – Kayla

But in all seriousness, we could have spent the entire last 31 years chasing after all the things. When do you get to enjoy what you already have, if that’s your mindset? 

 

0:20:19 – Brian

I enjoy. This is going to sound really stupid. I enjoy a simple life. When we leave here every day from the offices we go home, I’m going to be serious. We do not live a big, exciting life. I mean being serious.

 

0:20:31 – Kayla

And most people don’t. 

 

0:20:32 – Brian

Most people don’t. I mean, we go home and I’ll plop down and I’ll watch the news for a little while. 

 

0:20:38 – Kayla

I’ll cook dinner. 

 

0:20:40 – Brian

We’ll cook dinner We’ll watch an episode of West Wing or something. 

 

0:20:45 – Kayla

Or read. Some nights the TV doesn’t even go on. 

 

0:20:51 – Brian

I’m usually asleep in the recliner by about 815. But that’s our simple life, and if there’s a topic we need to talk about, we’ll do it. 

 

0:20:59 – Kayla

But for me, here’s what I’ll say this might sound ooey and gooey, but living the dream for me has been doing all these moments with you. Yeah, it’s in the mundane that a life is built, so to build on that, we started out together with a gifted couch, a gifted chair and a gifted bed. And what we can tell you now, 31 years in, is memories aren’t made around the stuff. It’s made around the day-to-day. The memories we have are about us. We can’t tell you what we were wearing when those memories were made. 

 

0:21:38 – Brian

It’s about the doing, it’s about the living, it’s about the decisions. It’s about being there together, facing the hardships. 

 

0:21:45 – Kayla

It’s about the shared experiences, not the stuff. It’s not the life you build with stuff, it’s the life you build with each other. And so, yeah, Friday night, date night. It always has been and it always will be. 

 

0:22:00 – Brian

We lived in New Orleans, we’d go to Texas Steakhouse Roadhouse, something. 

 

0:22:06 – Kayla

Texas Steakhouse. I think Texas Steakhouse we’d go to and we’d get a little meal yeah, and we’d go to a little. 

 

0:22:12 – Brian

I think we went to Walmart probably and then we’d come home. That was our date night and very, very rarely. 

 

0:22:20 – Kayla

If we had been gifted some money, we would do our bi-weekly dinner. We could not afford to go out every Friday night. We would go out every other Friday night and then we would go to a movie if we had been gifted some money. Otherwise it was game nights or watching a show or a movie at home. And yeah, I mean it was a very date nights now are. 

 

0:22:48 – Brian

we’ll go out to dinner and we might hit up a bookstore or go to Target or something. 

 

0:22:55 – Kayla

Come home, we’ll watch or we might go to a movie in the afternoon. Yeah, if we have a Friday afternoon. Sometimes we’ll go to a movie, but yeah, but it’s about the carving out space for each other. 

 

0:23:11 – Brian

I’m gonna say something here you have to enjoy the person before you enjoy the experience, because you need to be more in love with who you’re spending time with than being in love with what you’re trying to do, because that’s not where life is built. Yeah, so that was pretty good. You is smart. Stop. You need to carve out some sacred time for each other. Now. We spend a great deal of time together, so that’s not an issue for us, but now Friday nights are a sacred time for us. Yeah. 

 

0:23:47 – Kayla

There’s some eye rolling happening right now. I feel it. There’s some really, but you’re not chasing kids around and you’re not doing this and you’re not doing that. I get that, I do, but there were many years and there are many seasons where we are very, very busy, and yet it’s what we’ve prioritized. We have made sure that Friday night is sacred. We have often said no to things. 

 

Because that’s date night Because it’s date night and it’s not because we don’t love other people. It’s because we love each other. And there’s value in figuring out. How do you make this almost a habit at first and then it becomes something that you hate to miss it. 

 

0:24:34 – Brian

There’s a lot of truth to the statement that marriages work. Yeah, it’s a choice to love that person more than yourself, to lay down your own selfishness, to prioritize them over all the world’s demands, to place boundaries with others who don’t honor what you have. You’ve got to do that. So marriage is work. It doesn’t come easy. 

 

0:24:54 – Kayla

No. 

 

0:24:54 – Brian

But if you put the work in you know relationship does find a rhythm that works and brings joy. 

 

0:25:01 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

So, and it really is. It is a daily dying to yourself because I love me, some me. But if you love that person, you want what they want. If you love that person, then you are willing to prioritize their needs over your own and that becomes almost second nature in some ways. There are things that it’s just if you’re happy, I’m happy, and when you get to that place it doesn’t feel like as much work. I’m speaking to those of you who are fresh into marriage or fresh into a relationship. Yeah, it’s going to take some work and sometimes you’re going to feel like you’re giving a whole lot more than you’re getting. 

 

0:25:51 – Brian

But the end result is that if you really love that person and you want what’s best for them, then you’re not worried about what you get out of it, exactly right, and you’re going to make them a priority and you’re going to push some other things out of the way so you can spend time with that person. 

 

0:26:09 – Kayla

I think the last one we would share is dream together. 

 

0:26:14 – Brian

Dream on, dream on. Oh dear, just saying. 

 

0:26:26 – Kayla

And we’ve always made time for dreaming like places we want to go, things we want to accomplish and then chase as many of those dreams as you can. 

 

0:26:32 – Brian

Yes, miss Kayla has a dream of when we retire at some point we will have two labs, and she has a vision that one will be hers, one will be mine. I want to tell you right now they’ll both be hers. Okay, they will both be hers. 

 

0:26:44 – Kayla

Man. 

 

0:26:44 – Brian

I’ll let you pet them, but you need to figure out what you share in common as a dream and then go for it yeah. And yeah, you’re going to be afraid, yeah, things are going to go haywire, but keep pushing after it and that dream will actually draw you closer together. 

 

0:27:00 – Kayla

Yeah, and some of you are sitting there going. Well, that’s kind of contradictory to what you just said five minutes ago about keeping it simple. 

 

0:27:07 – Brian

Honey, we’re all full of contradictions. 

 

0:27:09 – Kayla

But the truth is it’s okay to have things that you aspire to, it’s okay to have trips that you want to take and memories are made on those trips, and it’s okay to have things that you want to enjoy in your journey. Don’t be ruled by them is what we were saying. But yeah, we have a dream to one day have a place on a lake, have two labs brother, sister maybe, I don’t know. 

 

0:27:38 – Brian

One of the rooms has to be a library. Yes, like to have a dark paneled room with a library that has a couple of leather chairs, some lamps that’s just a dream, but that’s something we look forward to down the road. 

 

0:27:50 – Kayla

Yeah, again, our whole point in sharing all this is where did you come from and where are you going? And, as we’re looking forward to our 32nd year, there’s just so much more to look forward to, and we hope that for all of you, yes, in your relationships. 

 

0:28:10 – Brian

Take the time to make it a priority. Yeah, say that. Hey, thanks for listening. We appreciate you tuning in this week. Share this episode with a friend or two. We’d appreciate that. 

 

0:28:20 – Kayla

Anybody want to get mugged? 

 

0:28:22 – Brian

No. Not that kind of mug? Oh, coffee mug, that kind of mug, yes, first of mug, oh, coffee mug, that kind of mug, yes. First of all, our friend Michelle won a coffee mug and a pack of stickers. And thank you, Michelle, from South Carolina, for listening. Yeah, but hey, you can win a coffee mug and a pack of stickers. All you have to do go to our website. 

 

0:28:44 – Kayla

Yep, it’s the peasandcarrotspodcast.com. If you’ll there, click the trivia button and then we always have like a random question. 

 

0:28:53 – Brian

This week’s question is what are you looking forward to this month? 

 

0:28:57 – Kayla

It’s getting a little warmer Spring is coming. I promise it’s coming. 

 

0:29:02 – Brian

Snowed here today. 

 

0:29:03 – Kayla

I know? Well, actually it snowed, then it sleeted, then the sunshine, then it snowed, then it sleeted, then the sunshine, then it snowed again, then it sleeted, and now it looks like I don’t know what it’s going to do. South Florida, yeah. 

 

0:29:13 – Brian

So, hey, you can win yourself a coffee mug and a pack of stickers. You go to peasandcarrotspodcast.com, you click the trivia button and when you get there, you answer this question. 

 

0:29:22 – Kayla

What are you looking forward to this month? You can search the Search the Peas and Carrots Podcast wherever you get your podcasts, or visit our website. Again, that’s peasandcarrotspodcast.com. When you do, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast. 

 

0:29:35 – Brian

Also find us on Facebook and Instagram, Just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast. 

 

0:29:40 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Growing through the challenges we face and finding hope along the way. That’s the Jesus Fix It Podcast with Jess. Check out jesusfixit.com or search Jesus Fix It wherever you listen to podcasts.

 

FACEBOOK

INSTAGRAM

Season 3, Episode 11: Progress Over Perfection

Progress Over Perfection
Progress Over Perfection - Episode Description
Our studio is bursting with quirks and chuckles, and we, Brian and Kayla, can’t wait to bring you into the fold. Picture this: a Christmas tree and an Easter rabbit in a humorous standoff, a Star Wars pen collection growing faster than the Millennium Falcon can make the Kessel Run, and us – the couple who opts for a single entrée to avoid dozing off at the dinner table. But it’s not all giggles and themed mugs; we’re baring our souls too. Sit with us as we navigate the winding roads of healing and growth that follow life’s setbacks, drawing powerful parallels between bouncing back from personal struggles and recovering from major surgery. It’s an intimate look at how embracing change makes us tougher, wiser, and ready for the next chapter.
Then, buckle up for both laughter and learnings as we recount travel tales that veer off the beaten path. You’ll get our top tips to keep your travels smooth, including the lifesaving power of snacks and the art of staying zen amidst chaos. Stories of our own misadventures, like a treacherous hike at Nakalula Falls and a dental fiasco in Greece, will remind you to pack flexibility alongside your sense of humor. Share a laugh with us and pick up some travel wisdom that might just save your next vacation from going awry. And who knows? Your own travel tip could land you a cozy spot on our show – plus, some Peas and Carrots swag to boot.
Progress Over Perfection - Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 

 

0:00:11 – Brian

Welcome to the Peas and Carrots Podcast. I’m Kayla and I’m Brian. Hello to this week’s vegetable patch edition. Mm-hmm. And we’re surrounded now by like new critters. 

 

0:00:24 – Kayla

We are and we were gifted a mug, a new critters we are. And we were gifted a mug, a new mug. 

 

0:00:28 – Brian

Yeah, like a camp style mug. 

 

0:00:31 – Kayla

It’s very cute. 

 

0:00:32 – Brian

From Joy FM, one of the PAR radio stations. They did a Peas and Carrots edition mug. 

 

0:00:39 – Kayla

And we have these new mic flags. What in the world does that mean? 

 

0:00:43 – Brian

These go on the end of the microphone so that when we do pictures or video or something like that, you’ll see the logo. 

 

0:00:51 – Kayla

I see a little pea and a carrot looking at me, so it’s very cute. 

 

0:00:55 – Brian

Very, what Cute. You love cute stuff, don’t you? I do. 

 

0:00:58 – Kayla

So for those keeping score, our Christmas tree did not come down. I’m okay with that well, it was a very cold and dreary week so it kind of worked out it was a dark and stormy night. 

 

It worked out in our favor, but we ended up. We had a very busy weekend last weekend and we were traveling for the first half of the week, so I just never got to it. And and now the Easter rabbit is staring at the tree. So I think we have a showdown. Coming Easter rabbit. I have this stuffed. Well, it’s not really stuffed. 

 

0:01:34 – Brian

I’ve always called him the Easter bunny. 

 

0:01:36 – Kayla

Well, he’s a rabbit, the one I’m talking about. It’s the one that I got before Pier 1 closed. 

 

0:01:42 – Brian

He sits on the I know what he’s talking about before Pier 1 closed. 

 

0:01:45 – Kayla

He sits on the. I know what you’re talking about. He’s got attitude, he’s so cute, but he’s staring at the tree. So yeah, anyway, easter and Christmas are colliding at our house. This is where we are. We’re just a hot mess. You have a new obsession. 

 

0:01:57 – Brian

I do. 

 

0:01:59 – Kayla

It’s fun. 

 

0:01:59 – Brian

It is. My executive assistant, Adam, got me a Darth Vader pin for Christmas, and, as you know, I’m a Star Wars fan, so he told me where he got it from. So now I have a Kylo Ren pin, an R2-D2 pin as well, and there’s a Yoda one as well, so I’m probably going to order that one soon as well. Hilarious, they write so well, do they? Yeah, they write well, so I’m probably going to order that one soon as well. Hilarious they write so well do they, yeah, they write well. 

 

0:02:28 – Kayla

B. 

 

0:02:29 – Brian

Yes. 

 

0:02:30 – Kayla

We have become that couple. 

 

0:02:32 – Brian

In what way? 

 

0:02:34 – Kayla

What do we do when we go to a restaurant, we now share one entree. 

 

0:02:37 – Brian

Yes, we most certainly do. I’m not ashamed of it. And if it’s dinner, we definitely do, because we can’t go to bed on a full stomach, no, and we go to bed so early now that yeah, I went to bed at 7:45 last night and I fell asleep, napped for an hour and a half in the chair, hour and a half before that. 

 

0:02:55 – Kayla

So yeah, again, it’s been a busy week, but we are those people. We used to make fun of those people. 

 

0:03:01 – Brian

You know that right, yes, so here we are, the knw cafeteria. So yeah, I mean I don’t. This is like I’m not ashamed. I don’t know about y’all, but I’m not ashamed. I thought I had healed from that. I thought I was over it yeah, yeah, oh. 

 

0:03:23 – Kayla

I recently found myself dealing with a situation that just shook me. It left me questioning so many things and it was a trigger and I know everyone throws that word around but I found myself in a situation that just upended me. And yet here was my takeaway my initial reaction was not the greatest, but I found myself processing and responding, ultimately, in healthier ways than my old self would have. I got there a lot faster than I used to, so there were a few things that I realized, and you and I started talking about this because we’ve both had some hard situations lately. And do you ever feel like you kind of want to climb out of your own skin and just observe and watch how you’re doing with certain things? 

 

0:04:19 – Brian

If it helped me lose weight. 

 

0:04:20 – Kayla

I’d do that. 

 

0:04:22 – Brian

Go ahead. 

 

0:04:24 – Kayla

But the first thing that I realized is healing is not linear. It’s natural to experience setbacks up and down and it’s a choice to just not go back to the old ways or to default to the negative thinking. But yes, it is very it’s like up, down down two steps forward, one steps back. So that’s the first thing I realized. 

 

0:04:50 – Brian

What I liken that to is that consider having major surgery, that you have some major surgery for something and yet the doctor says you will recover, yeah, okay. Well, whenever I hear recover, I’m thinking I’m going to feel exactly the way before. I ever had this problem. Well, that may not be the case, because you may leave with a limp, you can still walk, you can still do it, and the healing works. Or you may need some rehab, or just some rehab, yeah, but you may not return to your former self. But you’re able to move forward. And in that example, what I like to think is that you probably leave tougher. Yeah, you probably leave wiser. 

 

0:05:35 – Kayla

Because you have to be a little bit scrappy in the recovery.

 

0:05:39 – Brian

Yeah, so for me in that is, we have this false thing that because I’ve been through this, okay, I want to go back to what life was like before that happened. You’re not going to be able to go through that at all. Okay, for example, whenever my dad died, whenever your dad died, you can’t go back to life before that happened. You can’t have that kind of peace again, but you can have a new life. 

 

0:06:09 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:06:11 – Brian

And a life will actually grow up around that grief. That’s just an example. I’m using. 

 

0:06:16 – Kayla

That’s good. I’ve also been reminded that I’m not responsible all the time for what happens, because there are things outside of our control, but I am responsible for how I react in those situations. That is on me and that’s hard because we’re all human and sometimes that looks like we want to react in anger or we want to react in. 

 

0:06:46 – Brian

I would react in anger. 

 

0:06:48 – Kayla

Or we want justice or we want to have our say, and that’s not always the way it should be. Sometimes, the best thing we can do is just sit with it and ultimately ask God what are you trying to teach me here? What is it about me that you’re trying to grow in this process? 

 

0:07:10 – Brian

That makes me think of Joseph in the Old Testament. He was thrown into a pit sold into slavery. He was accused of a sexual crime that he didn’t commit, forgotten about in prison, finally got out, became governor of Egypt. 

 

0:07:27 – Kayla

And this was all after his brother sold him. 

 

0:07:29 – Brian

Yeah, this is all after yeah, he had such a smooth ride. Yeah, Got off on a great foot there. But throughout that whole time, when you read it, Joseph kept saying but the Lord is with me. 

 

0:07:42 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:07:43 – Brian

And I don’t know I’m going to be honest. I don’t know if I could say that I’m just being brutally honest. 

 

0:07:50 – Kayla

No, because I’d be like God where are you? 

 

0:07:52 – Brian

Yes. 

 

0:07:53 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:07:54 – Brian

That’s a faith, but at the same time, I also believe this that Joseph, while he’s in that pit, while he’s in that prison, the Lord would give grace for you to believe that, for you to trust in that. 

 

0:08:10 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:08:11 – Brian

So that’s where I am. So there’s a truth here. Joseph is a good reminder that God will use our mess and he’s not abandoned us. It may not feel like he’s there. 

 

0:08:24 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:08:26 – Brian

But he’s there. Therefore, think about this how many different things did Joseph have to go through before he felt healed, before he felt delivered? 

 

0:08:37 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:08:38 – Brian

And all that stuff he was going through. It was equipping him, getting him ready for what was coming. 

 

0:08:42 – Kayla

That’s right. Yeah Well, it made him a heck of a leader one day. 

 

0:08:45 – Brian

It did, yeah, it did. 

 

0:08:47 – Kayla

Another one for me. I can choose not to be defined by what is happening. 

 

0:08:54 – Brian

I don’t really want to talk about that. 

 

0:08:55 – Kayla

Rejection does not make me a reject. Being overlooked does not make me invisible. Making others feel small does not make me bigger. Make me bigger. Those are all truths that when we’re going through a hard situation, it’s good to reject those voices or those patterns of behavior that well, if I could just feel better about myself. At what cost are we going to do that? I think that’s the question we have to ask ourselves. And it’s hard. 

 

0:09:31 – Brian

You said I can be rejected, but I’m not a rejection. 

 

0:09:37 – Kayla

A reject yeah. 

 

0:09:38 – Brian

Reject. There’s a meme that keeps coming up on my Instagram and I haven’t shared it and it’s very personal to me. I don’t know how this meme keeps finding me. It says you have fat, you are not fat, and I’ve seen this like two or three times now and I get so emotional when I see it. 

 

0:10:03 – Kayla

Yeah. Because, you fear that. That’s how you are defined. 

 

0:10:07 – Brian

Oh yes, a hundred percent. Because whenever I walk into a room, the first thing you see about me is my size. Now, at the same time, you’re talking about rejection. This is hard for me, because I struggle with acceptance and rejection. That’s a big deal for me as an Enneagram too. A big deal for me as an Enneagram too. So I try to stay grounded, and I mean this because I remind myself that Jesus loves me, Jesus accepts me, and that you, Miss Kayla, you love me and that you have accepted me. 

 

0:10:41 – Kayla

And the truth is so do many others. But when you’re struggling with something that’s kind of kicked you on the back of your heels, it’s hard to believe that. Yes, the last one for me is progress over perfection. I live by the once. I know better, do better mindset, and as God reveals areas to me that I still need to work some more in it’s on me to embrace that, but also to accept that the truth is I’m created in his image. He loves me. He knows the things that I’m going to need some pruning or some time, and it doesn’t take anything away from how he sees me and how valued I am by him, from how he sees me and how valued I am by him. 

 

When I need to learn that lesson for the 10th or the 20th time or I regress to something that I thought that I had outgrown, it’s hard for me to forgive myself. When I do go back to either a pattern of behavior or a mindset where I’m believing all those worst like tapes running through my head. Well, you should have figured this out by now. You should have grown in this. This shouldn’t bother you anymore. This shouldn’t be something that you struggle with. God’s in the midst of all that, and there’s something he’s still wanting me to learn, and that’s why he keeps presenting these situations for me. 

 

0:12:13 – Brian

I struggle with perfection in certain areas, like whenever I speak before people. I want to be perfect. I don’t want to stutter, I want to have all the right points, and sometimes I’ll get trapped within my own personality, like I want to share a joke or something like that and that can derail me and that will beat me up. I want to be perfect when it comes to food, but I love pepperoni, so that gets me in trouble. 

 

0:12:46 – Kayla

You are brutal to yourself if you make a mistake during the day, like if you feel like you mis-stepped with a team member. 

 

0:12:54 – Brian

I feel like I’ve disappointed them and OK, this goes back to this, and now they’re not going to accept me, they’re going to reject me and ultimately they could leave the organization, and I’m trying hard to lay that expectation down. 

 

0:13:08 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:13:08 – Brian

Because it does suffocate me. And the bottom line there is remembering that we don’t have that expectation down. 

 

0:13:11 – Kayla

Yeah, because it does suffocate me, and the bottom line there is remembering that we don’t have that much control. God is ultimately sovereign over all of this. 

 

0:13:19 – Brian

That got said. You’re 100% right. Why do you have to be so smart and be so wise? 

 

0:13:26 – Kayla

Oh, I wish, oh, you are, you are. So there we go. Just some thoughts on if there’s something in your life that you’re struggling with and you feel like it’s just a broken record and you keep having to face this again and again, you keep having to revisit this hard situation, look back at how a former version of you would have dealt with it and see even the incremental ways that God is working in and through you. 

 

0:13:59 – Brian

Very powerful. Before we get started on this next segment, I just want to paint a picture for folks to, here we go. 

 

0:14:13 – Kayla

I just want to paint a picture for folks behind Miss Kayla. 

 

0:14:14 – Brian

There’s a table what in the world? 

 

0:14:16 – Kayla

and there are one two, three, you have four Godzillas sitting there are four Godzillas and there’s two or three more in my office. 

 

0:14:21 – Brian

I need to bring over this is out of control, but this is what a podcast studio should look like no, it should not yes and then behind her, against the wall, is Abraham L… 

 

0:14:30 – Kayla

It’s a real mix match of things in here. 

 

0:14:34 – Brian

I’ve got. 

 

0:14:34 – Kayla

Darth Vader to my left. 

 

0:14:37 – Brian

Wow, and then here on the studio console. 

 

0:14:40 – Kayla

Apparently, my only contribution is a Peas and Carrots stuffy, so.

 

0:14:48 – Brian

Bitter party of one. Your table is ready, anyway. Party of one. Here’s ready. Anyway, party of one. Here we are okay. 

 

0:14:53 – Kayla

So I, just now, I’m creeped out by what’s behind me he’s not gonna bother you he’s. He’s a titan. He saves, oh my gosh. Okay. So here we are our best travel tips and a couple of travel stories. So this will be fun. Um, it’s getting close to you. There’s spring break trips. It’s that time of year where people are going to start planning their summer vacation. So we thought we would share with you just a few things we’ve learned as a couple, and, of course, we’re being self-deprecating, so just bear with us. 

 

0:15:28 – Brian

But, for example, you need to accept that one of you likes to arrive at the airport three hours before the flight and the other one doesn’t mind getting there one hour before. So go ahead and accept that you’re going to get there Three hours before yes, you’re welcome. 

 

0:15:46 – Kayla

Never missed a flight because of me. 

 

0:15:47 – Brian

We live with an airport that has six gates. I don’t care, six Uh-huh. Never missed a flight because of me. We live with an airport that has six gates. Don’t care, six Uh-huh. We could get there 45 minutes before the flight and we’d be fine. 

 

0:15:58 – Kayla

So that leads to my next tip Pack snacks, because nothing says a bad travel day, like two hangry people who are likely also tired because one of them insisted on that three-hour pre-flight window. So pack snacks. 

 

0:16:17 – Brian

I’m a snack fan, you know. So yeah, crackers, that kind of stuff I’m good, and usually we’re there. So early in the morning that the little store, the little place isn’t open yet. Not that I’m angry about that. 

 

0:16:28 – Kayla

I’m a little sassy about this. 

 

0:16:29 – Brian

Okay, I’m not. You were going after Godzilla earlier. Oh my gosh, there it is there. If I can get one of those a day, I consider that a win, a successful day for the day. I can go home. I can go home all right. 

 

0:16:44 – Kayla

What would you say is your next tip? 

 

0:16:46 – Brian

okay, for me, my tip would be don’t create extra stress. Be the calm one. 

 

0:16:53 – Kayla

What does that mean? Tread carefully. 

 

0:16:59 – Brian

One of you is probably going to worry about everything. Is the gate going to change, is the plane going to be on time, will we land there on time? And your point I’m giving out a travel tip, okay, okay. So one of you will probably be worried about everything, the other one of you. You need to be calm and project that and that everything will be okay. And even if it’s not, what can you change about it? And you might get there a little bit later. So to me, that kind of helps balance things out. Okay, that’s my tip. 

 

0:17:35 – Kayla

Which lends to what you were also about to share, which is another good one Leverage your strengths, and that’s kind of what you were hinting at. Who can keep up with the details? That would be me we’re not naming names, oh, as if we weren’t with the. Don’t create stress. And who can weave in spontaneity and fun? Because you do. Sometimes you just need to chill out and there are things again. Wow, there’s a lot about control in this episode, but there are things that you can control and there are things you can’t. So one of you needs to keep up with the time of the flights and all that jazz, but one of you needs to make sure that you’re having fun along the way. So there we go. 

 

0:18:23 – Brian

For this is my final tip Go somewhere you love Now. I don’t mind trying a new adventure. That’s fine, but be comfortable with wherever you’re going to go. 

 

0:18:31 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:18:32 – Brian

Now we have changed our plans because, after we thought about it, we’re like, we’re not. 

 

0:18:36 – Kayla

There’s a lot going on in the world. We were actually we’ve shared in another podcast we were going to go to Italy this summer. After some discussion and just looking at well, first of all, some things going on in life around us and then things going on in the world around us, we opted to stay in the United. States this summer. So yeah, so yeah. Make sure that you’re both on the same page with your travel plans. Which lends us to a couple of stories. 

 

0:19:06 – Brian

A couple of stories. There was a concert series that would always show up in Gadsden, Alabama. I’m a big Southern Gospel music guy. There’s two groups Gold City and then the Kingsman. I’m a huge Kingsman fan. 

 

0:19:20 – Kayla

And we would go for their reunion. 

 

0:19:22 – Brian

Yes, we would go there for that, and there’s a place there called. 

 

0:19:27 – Kayla

Nakalula Falls. It’s beautiful. 

 

0:19:29 – Brian

It is, and it’s named after an Indian girl. 

 

0:19:32 – Kayla

Yeah, there’s this whole story. There’s a whole story there.

 

0:19:35 – Brian

But you can go hiking down to Noccalula Falls. We were told it was a moderate hike. 

 

0:19:43 – Kayla

Well, their definition of a moderate hiking trail does not match ours, because we nearly died. 

 

0:19:49 – Brian

Coming back up that. 

 

0:19:50 – Kayla

We got to the bottom it wasn’t bad. 

 

0:19:52 – Brian

Oh, it was too coming back up that. 

 

0:19:55 – Kayla

We got to the bottom. Going down wasn’t bad. Oh it was too. 

 

0:19:58 – Brian

But coming back up, but getting back up from I thought y’all were going to leave me down there. 

 

0:20:00 – Kayla

Listen, if they’d had cell phones back then, we’d have been texting somebody and saying send a helicopter. 

 

0:20:06 – Brian

Because it was rough, it was hot. 

 

0:20:08 – Kayla

Yes. 

 

0:20:09 – Brian

Oh, I think we have a picture of us coming up. Oh, hot, yes, oh, I think we have a picture of us coming up. 

 

0:20:12 – Kayla

Oh my gosh, yeah, it was not a good and y’all, this was back in the 90s and some girl had the idea to wear her denim overalls and I was dying by the time we got back to the top. 

 

0:20:23 – Brian

So then there was a time that we took a trip to Turkey, to the seven churches of the Revelation, uh-huh. On the way back, maybe was it to Greece or to Turkey. 

 

0:20:34 – Kayla

It was to Greece. This was when we went to Greece. 

 

0:20:37 – Brian

So we’re coming back from Greece on the plane and I look at you and your mouth is swollen. 

 

0:20:42 – Kayla

Like a chipmunk. 

 

0:20:43 – Brian

I said baby, are you okay? You’re like I’m hurting. 

 

0:20:46 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:20:47 – Brian

And on the flight from Greece to back to new Orleans, 14 hours. 

 

0:20:54 – Kayla

The dentist told me the next day that due to the change in pressure on the plane, an already aggravated wisdom tooth it caused a reaction. And it was impacted and it got very angry and so my entire jaw swelled. We got very angry and so my entire jaw swelled. We got home Sunday. I was at the dentist on Monday and on Wednesday I had all of my wisdom teeth out, so it was quite an adventure. 

 

0:21:22 – Brian

It was yeah, and it was. 

 

0:21:24 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:21:25 – Brian

I guess we’re scaring our people with our travel stories here. 

 

0:21:28 – Kayla

No, I mean, it was good. 

 

0:21:30 – Brian

You got to be flexible because stuff’s going to happen. That’s right, and remember this that whatever does happen, it will create a great story. 

 

0:21:38 – Kayla

Oh, absolutely. It’s very random, but anytime we mentor a young couple, the one thing we tell them about your wedding is something’s going to go wrong that day. 

 

0:21:49 – Brian

But you’re going to laugh about it later. 

 

0:21:51 – Kayla

It’s going to be the thing that you remember and you will laugh about it for years to come. So, as you are making your travel plans, just prepare for something to go sideways and just have fun with it. 

 

0:22:05 – Brian

I remember one time at Disney we were down there and we saw this family, probably five or six of them, leaving the hotel and they’re like are y’all ready to go to the happiest place on earth? And all the little kids. 

 

0:22:16 – Kayla

Everybody’s smiling, everybody’s smiling. 

 

0:22:18 – Brian

The girls are in their little princess outfits and we see them, I guess, four or five hours later at a Disney park and there’s a total meltdown. 

 

0:22:29 – Kayla

And it’s the adults having a meltdown, not the kids. The dad is losing it. 

 

0:22:33 – Brian

The dad says this is not the happiest. I mean he’s having a fit. We just kept on walking. 

 

0:22:39 – Kayla

We just kept laughing. 

 

0:22:40 – Brian

Dad needed a nap. Yeah, that would have been good. Hey, thanks for listening to this week’s episode, and you could win a peas and carrots coffee mug and Miss Kayla’s favorite, the stickers. A pack of stickers. Yeah so, but you have to answer a trivia question correctly, so you have to go to our website go to peasandcarrotspodcast.com. 

 

0:23:04 – Kayla

Look for the trivia button, click that and here’s what we want to know. Okay, what is a travel tip that you would share with us? Because I know there are many, many more. We did not share all of them, but what would you share with us and we’ll share that on a future podcast. 

 

0:23:23 – Brian

So what’s your travel tip? If you answer that question, you simply go to our website. 

 

0:23:28 – Kayla

Peasandcarrotspodcast.com 

 

0:23:30 – Brian

And you click on the trivia button, answer that question. When you do, we’ll send you a mug and some cute stickers. 

 

0:23:37 – Kayla

You can search Peas and Carrots Podcast wherever you get your podcasts, or visit our website at peasandcarrotspodcast.com. When you do, please don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast. 

 

0:23:47 – Brian

You can also follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast. I love all the Godzillas behind me. 

 

0:23:54 – Kayla

Oh my gosh. 

 

0:23:55 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Life’s not perfect. That’s why God gave us friends like Melody and Candi. Check out QuirksBumpsandBruises.com, or search Quirks, Bumps, and Bruises wherever you listen to podcasts. 

 

FACEBOOK

INSTAGRAM

Season 3, Episode 10: Biggest Fan

Biggest Fan - Episode Description

Join us this week on Peas and Carrots Podcast for a heartwarming and hilarious journey through the daily dance of our lives together. We share the ins and outs of trying to stick to new habits and routines, from daily trackers to a clever snack bucket system that keeps us on the path to healthier choices. Laugh along as we confess to the quirks in our habit-maintaining strategies and reveal our weekend plans to finally take down our Christmas tree.

We open up about the strength of support and encouragement in a marriage, emphasizing the need for both partners to be each other’s biggest fans. As we chat, you’ll discover the humor and humility in swapping household roles and the comedic results that can ensue. Our conversation is an ode to the idea that being there for each other through thick and thin fortifies a relationship, especially when facing the trials of everyday life. So tune in to hear how we navigate these dynamics with love, laughter, and a touch of grace.

In this installment, we also share some interesting facts about ourselves, discussing everything from the trivial frustrations of ‘reply all’ emails to the more profound personal struggles like dealing with nightmares. We reflect on the ways we each show up in the world, hiding our vulnerabilities behind loudness or stoicism. We’ll also have a few laughs as we share some of our comical quirks. So, grab your headphones, settle in, and let’s share life from our piece of the vegetable patch.

Biggest Fan - Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 

 

0:00:11 – Kayla

Welcome to the Peas and Carrots Podcast. 

 

0:00:13 – Brian

I’m Brian and I’m Kayla, and thanks for being here this week. Right before, I mean just 10 seconds ago, before I press this button to record…

 

0:00:21 – Kayla

Uh-huh. 

 

0:00:22 – Brian

We were having a marital moment.

 

0:00:28 – Kayla

It wasn’t a big deal. When we test the microphones. I always say hello there, and you always growl and say mic check one, two right so I got a little sideways and said what is wrong with me saying hello there? So I admit I just got a lesson as to why the mic check one. Two is important is to make sure that my p’s are not popping well, and also it’s so my t’s don’t sound like and so it’s a long still think I should be able to say hello there. I’ll tell you what baby? 

 

you say whatever so anyway, hello there um, I’ll tell you what baby you say, whatever you want. 

 

0:01:06 – Brian

So anyway, hello there. Y’all see what she did there, don’t you? 

 

0:01:11 – Kayla

How are we doing with our new habits? We’re keeping a daily tracker. 

 

0:01:15 – Brian

We’ve changed the way we grocery shop. I did great during February. It’s March, whatever, and I haven’t. I got to copy that over. 

 

0:01:22 – Kayla

Have you even created it? No, there’s only one more week of March. 

 

0:01:30 – Brian

I’ll start in April. Oh, I forgot all about that. I even have a little daily reminder, and he hasn’t asked no he hasn’t asked. Well then, why am? 

 

0:01:39 – Kayla

I filling this out because I haven’t missed a day. Okay, technically I think I missed yesterday. 

 

0:01:45 – Brian

Okay, see now. This is a perfect illustration of the difference between B and K. 

 

0:01:49 – Kayla

K is very detailed, and that is what I hoped was going to come out here. K is very detailed you seriously have not done March at all. I’ve not copied that over yet and Jesse has not asked. 

 

0:02:00 – Brian

No, because I’m killing myself in there. 

 

0:02:03 – Kayla

You are. We’ll come back to that, but. 

 

0:02:06 – Brian

I’ve not kept up with a single day. 

 

0:02:08 – Kayla

See, I guess we should explain what this is. In the morning we have certain habits that we can choose, like I am choosing to drink 20 ounces of pure water before 10 am, and then I’m choosing to do that again between 10 and 2. And then after 4, I am weaving in some like healthy vitamins. I’m choosing to do that again between 10 and 2, and then after 4,. I am weaving in some healthy vitamins. I’m journaling. I’m reading one chapter a day for leadership or personal growth. 

 

0:02:34 – Brian

What are you journaling? 

 

0:02:35 – Kayla

You just journal your thoughts. I keep a gratitude journal. I sometimes write down thoughts about the day I ain’t got time for that. Well, obviously you ain’t got time to fill out a habit tracker. 

 

0:02:48 – Brian

Well, mine had. I can’t remember what mine had on it. It was like drink water, but I can’t. 

 

0:02:55 – Kayla

But we do like a weekly snack budget or bucket, sorry, not well, we do budget for it, but we keep a snack bucket. We keep a fruit bucket, budget for it, but we keep a snack bucket. We keep a fruit bucket. It’s just weaving in some new habits so that if we are hungry you will go get a fruit bowl instead of we don’t keep crackers and chips and it’s very sad our pantry is very sad so, but our fridge is very happy, well, so yeah, what are we doing this weekend? 

 

0:03:28 – Brian

Oh Well, I know that this is so if people need to feel better about themselves oh. Oh, we’re taking down the Christmas tree. 

 

0:03:36 – Kayla

We are. 

 

0:03:38 – Brian

But I still like it being out. 

 

0:03:39 – Kayla

Well, it’s a winter tree. We turned it into a winter, but it’s spring. It’s officially spring. 

 

0:03:45 – Brian

I’m in a hoodie today. 

 

0:03:46 – Kayla

It is cold outside, but still Okay. So it’s coming down. For those of you who may feel like you’re behind in life, you’re not. 

 

0:03:54 – Brian

I’ll get to see the right corner of the TV for the first time in like 120 days. 

 

0:03:59 – Kayla

That’d be pretty awesome For the record. You are the one that asked me to leave the tree up. I am you. You are the record. 

 

0:04:04 – Brian

You are the one that asked me to leave the trio. I am, you are. I don’t mean I can’t complain about it. Just because I like it doesn’t mean I’m not going to complain about it. 

 

0:04:10 – Kayla

So there was a moment this morning. 

 

0:04:12 – Brian

Here we go. 

 

0:04:15 – Kayla

You have really I’ve got to brag on you. You have really stepped up with your workouts. You braved going to our trainer and telling him I need more, I need more intensity. 

 

0:04:25 – Brian

I’m down like 104 pounds you are. I’m down another pant size, but there was a very funny moment this morning. I’m on this exercise bike. I normally do like two miles and I’m at like 40 RPM. Okay, and that’s comfortable for me, I’ll do that. Well, he’s been challenging me to like really step up the pace. 

 

0:04:47 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:04:48 – Brian

So I went walking and I walked a mile and I cut six minutes off my one minute mile. Then I got on that bike and he’s like all right, let’s just crank it up. Well, I went as hard as I could. I had that mug up to like 54, 55 RPM and I went like over half a mile, like 0.6, almost overheated and I used that phrase. 

 

0:05:11 – Kayla

And this is how she, You’re not a car Well. 

 

0:05:18 – Brian

I started seeing stars. That’s the only phrase I could come up with. Overheated. Well yes, I mean that’s the best word I could come up with overheated. Well, yes, I mean that’s the best word I could come up with. And so I crawled off that bike and I’m sitting there on the box and Jesse, our trainer, comes up. He says you OK? I said no, I almost overheated. Then he got tickled and started laughing at me and that kind of stuff. But it’s working. I’ll say that I mean. 

 

0:05:42 – Kayla

You’re doing great. In all seriousness, you are pushing yourself so hard. 

 

0:05:47 – Brian

As are you and I can see the results. 

 

0:05:50 – Kayla

I really can. You’re feeling good about yourself. You had to buy some new blue jeans. 

 

0:05:55 – Brian

And a new belt. 

 

0:05:56 – Kayla

Even suspenders weren’t cutting it anymore. 

 

0:05:58 – Brian

So and your clothes are looking great, I mean you always do look classy. 

 

0:06:05 – Kayla

Oh, you’re very kind, but I did have to go down a size in all my pants. 

 

0:06:10 – Brian

And yeah. 

 

0:06:11 – Kayla

So, Finally from our cabbage patch. 

 

0:06:15 – Brian

Can I just say something? I am proud of myself, I’m proud of you, but y’all, we can’t walk or move in the evenings. Heating pads and Advil, and the next morning is just awful. 

 

0:06:26 – Kayla

We just grunt and groan. 

 

0:06:27 – Brian

Snap, crackle, pop when you get up. 

 

0:06:31 – Kayla

Many have asked. 

 

0:06:33 – Brian

Yes. 

 

0:06:34 – Kayla

How is my hip doing, and thank you to all who have asked. I can tell you when a front’s coming, so I do still have some fluid on my hip. It’s not as large, it’s not as pronounced, I guess, is the word I’m looking for. That’s a good word. And sitting for long periods is not as painful as it was. But I’m not ready to sign up for a marathon just yet. But hey, guess what it’s going to rain tomorrow. My hip tells me. 

 

0:07:05 – Brian

Kayla “the weathervane” Sanders. You had a conversation with a friend the other night about supporting one another in like ministry, because her and her husband are in ministry and we’re in ministry together, and that’s what led to this topic. Okay, yeah. So from there, why don’t you kind of ease us into this topic a little bit? 

 

0:07:34 – Kayla

Well, you and I have had this conversation several times over the last few months, but it did come up and it got me to thinking. What does it look like to support each other and to show up for each other in a relationship? Now, yes, this can be friendship, this can be family, this can be marriage. We are going to spend a good portion of the time talking about marriage, because we’re talking about B and K and how we do this for each other, or I guess I should say pea and carrot. There we go, but okay, it feels really weird to refer to yourself as vegetable. But anyway, what we’ve come to realize is that we are each other’s biggest fan, and so we want to unpack that and spend a little time For me, one of the first things I want to share I could not have navigated the career that I’ve had without your full and unwavering support. 

 

0:08:35 – Brian

And you’ll always have it, always. I feel like that’s part of the reason why God made me. That’s my role as a husband. That’s what I’m supposed to do. I’m supposed to cheer you, I’m supposed to support you. So, yeah, you will always have it For me. I could not be the leader I am without your willingness to be a sounding board and to hold a mirror up to me to show me who I really am, because I am very naive. I believe the best about people and I believe the best about me, and that’s part of my broken. So I need you to hold up a mirror sometimes. Say B, do you see this? 

 

0:09:17 – Kayla

Yeah, that also comes with caution, though. There are times when, as a spouse, if your person is really struggling, that may not be the time to hold up the mirror, just even if you know that there’s something that needs to be addressed, as with all things, kind of read the room on when you might need to. I did not say that, but I do try to be very careful. If you’ve had a really tough week and it’s come with a lot of hits, I’m probably not going to like pile on at that moment. 

 

0:09:54 – Brian

So pile on spaghetti and meat sauce. 

 

0:09:58 – Kayla

We just had lunch, but does that matter? We’re no, it’s time. 

 

0:10:02 – Brian

We’re hungry all the time now. 

 

0:10:05 – Kayla

This may be an unpopular opinion, but neither of our careers is superior to the other. We aren’t threatened by how God’s using the other or blessing the other, and there have been seasons where it feels like God has given a bounty to you in what you’re doing. And then there have been seasons where I’ve been the receiver of good gifts and we’re not the couple that one outshines the other. 

 

0:10:37 – Brian

So, building on that, let me say this we are each other’s advocates. 

 

0:10:40 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:10:41 – Brian

We don’t compete, you know. 

 

0:10:44 – Kayla

I am your biggest cheerleader and you are mine. 

 

0:10:46 – Brian

Yes, so let me so let me say this. It’s a huge flaw of mine. Whenever you’re venting to me or you’re sharing your heart, I oftentimes want to recommend solutions, and if I had a $10 bill for every time that you’ve said to me baby, just listen. 

 

0:11:09 – Kayla

I’m not asking you to fix anything. We could retire tomorrow. 

 

0:11:14 – Brian

We could retire tomorrow. But I got these great solutions, but for you, you just need to get this stuff off your heart, yeah. 

 

0:11:22 – Kayla

I have learned to say up front though, I’m not looking for a solution. 

 

0:11:28 – Brian

How’s that working out? 

 

0:11:29 – Kayla

It’s gotten better. 

 

You have you really have gotten better at? Just I can tell you’re twitching a little bit because you just really want to fix it, but you are trying just to listen and not go in. But that’s one of your strengths as a leader is you’re a problem solver and you are a fixer. But sometimes I’m coming to you as a spouse and I’ve even said that, haven’t I? I’ve said to you B, I’m coming to you as K, not as one of your team members right now, and so that helps. There are seasons we have both seen this where I may need to carry more of the load at home due to outside work, and there are seasons where you may need to carry more of the work at home. 

 

0:12:15 – Brian

Okay, and speaking of, let me just say this, let me just say this up front. This, let me just say this up front the only way I can carry more of the load at home is like by helping to cook with food and cooking pick up dinner why don’t you wash clothes b? This has been over 30 years ago. Okay, I think you can trust me now nope what did you use? Too much of bleach and it put white splotches all over my clothes my clothes. I thought this happened before we got married. 

 

0:12:44 – Kayla

Oh, you tried this. You also shrunk one of my wool sweaters and it fit my friend’s four-year-old daughter. 

 

0:12:50 – Brian

I think that was somebody else, but I can cook and go pick up food. 

 

0:12:53 – Kayla

What else do you try to keep clean for us? 

 

0:12:55 – Brian

My bathroom. But there’s a definition, there’s a moving definition of clean. 

 

0:13:03 – Kayla

Yeah, but here’s the thing We’ve learned that it’s a privilege to come alongside each other and show tangible ways to be a support in busy times. It’s not like there’s this job description that we stick rigidly to, especially in busy seasons, I agree. 

 

0:13:21 – Brian

Now I in busy seasons, I agree. Now I do not wash clothes. No, I wash dishes. But if I wash them, I rewash them. 

 

0:13:32 – Kayla

Well, sometimes you just use that little wand and you haven’t put any soap on it. 

 

0:13:37 – Brian

There is soap in the wand. 

 

0:13:39 – Kayla

No, there’s not anyway. 

 

0:13:41 – Brian

All right, moving on. 

 

0:13:42 – Kayla

Back. There’s not, anyway, all right. Moving on back to the cheerleader. You have always been my biggest cheerleader because you challenge me when I embrace negative self-talk. You encourage me when I’m trying something new or scary, and you know my tells, you know what’s going on when I’m scared or when I’m afraid to take a risk. You offer help without expecting to receive the credit or the spotlight, although I am quick to give shout outs when you do. 

 

0:14:09 – Brian

That’s a very big gift of yours. 

 

0:14:10 – Kayla

But you can tell when I’m stuck. 

 

0:14:14 – Brian

Yes. 

 

0:14:15 – Kayla

And so you will cheer me on. This is the big thing here. You don’t allow me to give up or walk away from something. 

 

0:14:23 – Brian

You will make me stick it out because you see my potential and you want me to live into it yeah, there’s nothing I’m so grateful for that there’s nothing because I’ve done a lot of stuff scared I mean, you have embraced what god has given you and there’s nothing worse than walking away from that. 

 

0:14:42 – Kayla

Well, I had a great teacher, and he’s sitting across from me. 

 

0:14:46 – Brian

Let me just say this is that Kay is my rock and she steadies me. You speak life to me because I can spiral pretty quick. I can get very, I can get very down. I doubt myself so much and my personality type is that I will take care of everybody else but I’m going to ignore myself and you make sure that Brian gets taken care of. So thank you for that. I mean that, thank you. 

 

0:15:16 – Kayla

So the bottom line is this A relationship based on genuine love is one in which you’re constantly dying to yourself, and what that looks like is it’s easy to fall into that trap that I am more important than you are, my needs are more important than you are, my career is more important than you are. When you love a person and you see them as made in the image of Christ, you choose to cherish them and put them first. 

 

0:15:45 – Brian

I could not agree more. And scripture even says to husbands to love your wife, as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her. In other words, I’m supposed to even be willing to give up my life for you, and I do that in certain circumstances. Okay. 

 

0:16:06 – Kayla

On that note. 

 

0:16:07 – Brian

I’m kidding. In any circumstance, I believe that that’s my calling and that’s what I’m supposed to do, and I just want to say this baby, thank you for believing in me and supporting me. 

 

0:16:17 – Kayla

Right back at you. 

 

0:16:21 – Brian

Well, this should be fun, Just a few random facts about us. Okay. 

 

0:16:27 – Kayla

I hate to drive oh. 

 

0:16:29 – Brian

I don’t mind driving, I don’t mind taking you places. 

 

0:16:32 – Kayla

It is a necessary evil for me Now. You don’t want me driving after dark. I have night vision issues. 

 

0:16:40 – Brian

And let me say this and if it’s like more than two or three turns, I will take you, because you get prone to get. 

 

0:16:48 – Kayla

I won’t come back to that one. It might be on my list. 

 

0:16:51 – Brian

I hate to be bored. 

 

0:16:52 – Kayla

Oh, my goodness, yes. 

 

0:16:54 – Brian

I like to be entertained, which? 

 

0:16:56 – Kayla

is part of why you read so much, I think, because it gives you something to do. 

 

0:17:00 – Brian

Yeah, but I can’t read so much, I think, because it gives you something to do. Yeah, but I can’t stand, I cannot stand to be bored. I need to have a show, a book. There needs to be a person talking to me, yep. Or like this morning when I got up oh my gosh 4.30 in the morning. 

 

0:17:16 – Kayla

Ok, no, I had to go to the bathroom. No, I just need to get this out? 

 

0:17:21 – Brian

No, I looked out the window, and what? 

 

0:17:27 – Kayla

do I see there where your flowers are planted around the mailbox? Do I need to know at 430 in the morning that deer are eating my plant?

 

0:17:32 – Brian

Kay, come here, come look at this. I peeped my head. I said, kay, I was whispering. 

 

0:17:37 – Kayla

It doesn’t matter that you were whispering what it’s 430 in the morning I said come look, anyway, moving on. 

 

0:17:45 – Brian

If it’d been a bear, you’d have come look, wouldn’t you, mm-mm, not at 4.30. 

 

0:17:48 – Kayla

Really, go with God, bear Zombies. 

 

0:17:52 – Brian

Nope, okay. 

 

0:17:54 – Kayla

I love gardening, but I’m known for killing houseplants. 

 

0:17:58 – Brian

Houseplant assassin right here. Now you’ve got this one in the kitchen. That’s just going nuts. 

 

0:18:03 – Kayla

I ignore it, I do. It has beautiful sunlight where it sits and I basically just pour leftover water from the coffee pot on it Now each week I’m going to say something I’ve thought for years. 

 

0:18:15 – Brian

You know, every week we go to Kroger and we grocery shop and your first stop is a little flower section. You’ll buy a couple of bouquets of flowers. You ever wonder if those flowers are like screaming their guts out because they’ve been cut. Like you know, they’ve been cut off from their life source and all those bouquets are just going because they’re just sitting there legless. No, that doesn’t cross your mind. 

 

0:18:41 – Kayla

Moving on. Speaking of flowers. 

 

0:18:44 – Brian

But you love flowers? I do, and you do too. But you have a confession here. I love looking at them, but I could care less if I plant them.

 

0:18:52 – Kayla

Well, that’s why we get them. 

 

0:18:55 – Brian

I remember that we used to down in New Orleans. We planned this little garden. We put tomatoes and beans and peas and that’s about eight weeks in I realized I could walk over to the grocery store and spend five dollars and buy more than what this is producing. So no, I’m not into that. That’s just me. But I know that that makes you happy, happy, yes. 

 

0:19:16 – Kayla

In conjunction with my fear not fear of driving, I just hate driving. I do have an irrational fear of getting lost. When we go somewhere new, I have to remind myself. There are apps with maps. I can find my way home, but I am not good in situations where I don’t know where we’re going. And again, I have a tell you can figure out and you’ll assure me that everything’s good. 

 

0:19:43 – Brian

You know where we are Start taking that little hand, scratching that little head. Oh, just like this, Just sitting there scratching it. I know I said okay, we’ve entered. I struggle with having nightmares. 

 

0:19:55 – Kayla

And. 

 

0:19:55 – Brian

I have them probably twice a week. I’m part of the 3% of Americans who actually struggle with this. 

 

0:20:01 – Kayla

We have learned, though it’s your brain doing what? 

 

0:20:04 – Brian

Processing? Processing things, yeah, and the way it does, that is through nightmares occasionally and I’ve been the doctor and therapist that kind of stuff. 

 

0:20:12 – Kayla

So okay, I’m going to go ahead and apologize for this. Oh, okay, I’m going to go ahead and apologize for this. Nothing makes me crazier than reply all email threads. I’m sorry. I get that they are sometimes necessary, but I would prefer to reply personally to people. And yet then comes the next person who hits reply all and yet then comes the next person who hits reply all, and then I feel like a heel because people think I’m never responding but I am I’m typically doing it one-on-one, though, so okay, well, I’m not a fan of email overall I know you’re not 

 

but I mean, if it has more than four lines, I’m click delete I have to tell you the beginning in the end or the middle, because you read the beginning and the end. 

 

0:20:59 – Brian

I hate email. I hate entering my password using a TV remote control. 

 

0:21:07 – Kayla

So like when Netflix signs itself out or your Apple TV goes down. 

 

0:21:12 – Brian

It is the dumbest thing. But my anger level can go from zero to 60 in one second. I mean I am down the highway. I get so upset about that. It’s the dumbest thing. But my anger level can go from zero to 60 in one second. I mean I am down the highway. 

 

0:21:21 – Kayla

I get so upset about that First world problems that we live with. 

 

0:21:23 – Brian

Create something that will read I mean, MacBook has it, apple has it. You just read your fingerprint. Do that with that remote. I feel better now. 

 

0:21:33 – Kayla

Okay, kind of like me with the emails, All right. So one thing about my personality. I’ll end with this. I can present myself as very stoic. Hello, I’m British, but I feel things very deeply and. I care very personally, you do, so those two things can often kind of seem contradictory. 

 

0:21:54 – Brian

I’ll say this is that sometimes the outside doesn’t match the inside. I was a compliment, oh okay. I mean, you appear very stoic, but you’ve got a lot happening. 

 

0:22:07 – Kayla

There’s a lot going on. 

 

0:22:08 – Brian

Yeah, yeah. 

 

0:22:10 – Kayla

But I was taught you know stiff upper lip. 

 

0:22:12 – Brian

Yeah, that’s that British in you, but on the inside, I may be like in tears. 

 

0:22:17 – Kayla

Yeah, whereas for me it’s all out there, baby okay, that was a little what’s your last one. 

 

0:22:23 – Brian

You did not have to answer that so quickly I didn’t say I don’t like it about you no, but you answered it just like that boom. Okay, I’m sorry no, you’re not read your last I’m loud revelation about yourself I’m loud, I’m boisterous and it’s usually a shield to get you to like or even accept me and usually to help you look past my size no and let you see me as a person now. I’m not going to change who I am. 

 

0:22:51 – Kayla

I’m loud, I’m boisterous you’re a roaming party is what I call you. 

 

0:22:57 – Brian

But these days I got to be home by 830. 

 

0:23:00 – Kayla

Party’s got to end on time. Party’s got to end about 8:30. Okay, good to know so there’s that, hey. 

 

0:23:05 – Brian

It’s been our joy to spend this time with you and we’d like to give you a coffee mug and a pack of stickers and news. There’s a bunch more peas and carrots swag coming our way. 

 

0:23:17 – Kayla

There is, so stay tuned. But the first two people who go to our website and answer our trivia question, you will win a peas and carrots coffee mug, some stickers and apparently some of you are getting pens. Oh, and that was a very funny story that fell out this week Our dear friend Adam he’s my executive assistant. 

 

This is a teaser he and his wife will be joining our podcast soon. Yes, Adam actually includes a pen for the Encouraging Radio brand, which is part of our PAR family, right, well, someone thought that they accidentally got a pen. 

 

0:23:52 – Brian

So hey, are y’all missing a pen by accident? 

 

0:23:54 – Kayla

So nope, the pen was purposeful, it was there. A pen by accident? So nope, the pen was purposeful, it was there. But if you will click our website, yeah, you go to peasandcarrotspodcast.com. 

 

0:24:03 – Brian

Click on the trivia button and answer this question. 

 

0:24:07 – Kayla

Share with us one random fact about yourself. 

 

0:24:10 – Brian

Now look, please don’t put on there like how many moles or warts you got. 

 

0:24:15 – Kayla

Or you killed somebody in 1985. Right, we don’t need that, we don’t need to know that, but just one random fact about yourself. 

 

0:24:23 – Brian

So you go to peasandcarrotspodcast.com. 

 

0:24:25 – Kayla

Click that trivia button and you can win. Answer that question. You’ll win a coffee mug and some stickers and a pen. 

 

0:24:31 – Brian

So thanks for listening. Hey, you can search the Peas and Parrots. 

 

0:24:37 – Kayla

Peas and Carrots Podcast wherever you get your podcast or visit our website peasandcarrotspodcast.com and, when you do, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast. You can follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast.

 

0:24:54 – Brian

Peas and parrots. 

 

0:24:55 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Growing through the challenges we face and finding hope along the way. That’s the Jesus Fix It Podcast with Jess. Check out jesusfixit.com or search Jesus Fix It wherever you listen to podcasts. 

 

FACEBOOK

INSTAGRAM

Season 3, Episode 8: Hello, Mate!

Hello, Mate! - Episode Description

Join us on this week’s Peas and Carrots Podcast as we kick things off with a light-hearted utensil tussle – are you Team Spoon or Team Knife when it comes to spreading mayonnaise? But it’s not all fun and games; we also share our personal takeaways from a month-long habit tracker. Discover the highs and lows of maintaining good habits, the quest to include more greens in our diet, and our heartfelt encounter with a newborn member of our church community. Plus, we debate the pros and cons of daylight saving time and share a few laughs over nocturnal phone screen shenanigans.

Listen in as we explore the complexities of faith in the professional realm. We open up about our own spiritual journey and how it’s shaped our approach to ministry work. The conversation takes a turn towards the profound as we discuss the necessity of grace in both ministry and relationships, focusing on the essential beliefs that unite Christians while extending a circle of grace to the varied interpretations of non-essential doctrines. And let’s not forget to touch upon the role of Old Testament laws and the true path to salvation through Jesus’s sacrifice – it’s a reminder to avoid judgment and embrace compassion.

Finally, ready your ears for a delightful linguistic jaunt as we compare the quirks of British and American English. From attempting (and failing) to nail British accents to deciphering terms like ‘trolley’ and ‘dummy’, this episode is a linguistic treat. Wrap up with us as we chuckle over classic British phrases and their American counterparts, all while paying homage to the cultural staples that make each version of English uniquely charming. So grab your headphones and a cuppa, and prepare for an episode that’s as cozy as mismatched socks on a chilly day.

Hello, Mate! - Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 

 

0:00:11 – Brian

Welcome the peas and carrots podcast. Hello, I’m Kayla and I’m Brian, and good to have you along for this week’s edition, which will be a lot of British stuff here in a little while. 

 

0:00:21 – Kayla

Well, don’t sound so excited. Well I’m, it’s gonna be fun. ‘Merica. This can be fun, I promise. Okay, all right, so I have an update. Can I have a little breaking? I need a breaking news. There we go a friend emailed the following oh this is verbatim. Okay, okay, you ready for this? 

 

0:00:43 – Brian

I’m ready. 

 

0:00:44 – Kayla

I have never in my life heard of spreading mayo with a spoon. 

 

0:00:51 – Brian

Well, your friend is not cultured. 

 

0:00:53 – Kayla

Oh. 

 

0:00:54 – Brian

Do I know who this friend is? 

 

0:00:56 – Kayla

You do. We’re not gonna give any names. That was very unkind. 

 

0:00:59 – Brian

Um well, this friend is team knife, so Okay if this is your first time ever listening to the piece, we had a debate about spreading mayonnaise with a spoon or a knife, and. I’m team spoon, I’m team knife. I’ve always been team spoon because you can put the In the jar and get a nice glob of Of not. 

 

0:01:24 – Kayla

We’re not doing this today. 

 

0:01:25 – Brian

All I’m saying is, and then spread normal people use a knife. You see, that’s a little bit. Of fencing is less spicy. 

 

0:01:34 – Kayla

It’s a little fancy. 

 

0:01:36 – Brian

Normal people. I Want to know who got what committee got together and voted that? What was normal? On how to spread mayonnaise? 

 

0:01:45 – Kayla

the knife people. 

 

0:01:49 – Brian

Being in room of serial killers. All right, we need the gun people over here and the knife people over here. That’s what we know. 

 

0:01:55 – Kayla

No no. 

 

0:01:56 – Brian

I’m just saying, I’m just saying no, that’s pretty. 

 

0:01:59 – Kayla

no, okay, okay, all right, well, all right. Praise. 

 

0:02:02 – Brian

God, you feel better now? No, not really, but I have Godzilla with me, so I’m good, okay. 

 

0:02:09 – Kayla

All right. 

 

0:02:11 – Brian

What we have learned. Okay, now we’ve been doing this whole habit tracker for the month of February. For the month of February. 

 

0:02:16 – Kayla

We have our trainer asked us to start admitting some things. For example, are we sleeping seven plus hours a night? Are we Adding protein to our meals? Are we Cleaning the fridge? 

 

0:02:35 – Brian

Yeah, well, I’m gonna say clean the fridge. We don’t like cleaning out, yes, like Purging foods that we should all be walking that kind of stuff yeah so what did we learn this last month? Well one. I need a calendar to reminder to even go in there and do this thing, because it does not cross my mind. That’s the first thing. 

 

0:02:56 – Kayla

It reminded me that habits are good but they are hard, and that it’s easy to talk ourselves out of things. Yeah that are good for us, because we like our comfort and our routine. Oh, so it’s been very interesting, what I guess. I apparently do not like to go outside if it’s below 50 degrees, because that’s the one category that if I got dinged for this month, it’s the number of days that I could not check the box that I went outside for 15 minutes or more. 

 

0:03:26 – Brian

If it’s below 80 degrees. What do you carry with you? 

 

0:03:29 – Kayla

a sweater. Okay, yes, that’s it. It’s been interesting. 

 

0:03:33 – Brian

Um, did you notice that she didn’t say sweater? How’d you say it? 

 

0:03:37 – Kayla

Pretty little sweater. 

 

0:03:38 – Brian

Okay, there you go. 

 

0:03:40 – Kayla

Is that what I said? I’m really not sure what I said the first time Sweater, sweater she loves sweaters, but anyway. 

 

0:03:46 – Brian

So I learned that like I Need to eat more salad Cuz I just do. I mean I just, but they get boring. I mean, yeah, 10 days in I had a salad for lunch today. 

 

0:04:01 – Kayla

I think I’m good for the next seven days. So if you’ve seen that meme, with Winnie the Pooh. He’s patting his belly. He’s like is it working yet? Yeah, so we got to meet an adorable baby girl this week. Some friends from our church. They’re in our home group. They welcomed Joanna Esther last week. 

 

0:04:25 – Brian

She was adorable. She is so cute. Got to take them dinner last night. It was just really sweet. She’s what? Six days old and she wanted to hand the baby to us. 

 

0:04:34 – Kayla

I think, oh, I was a little scared. No, no, no, maybe next week, when you know. 

 

0:04:38 – Brian

When, whenever they’re like old enough to bounce off the floor. 

 

0:04:41 – Kayla

That’s when I’ll hold oh Okay, why, note to self, you’re not holding Joanna? Well, she was beautiful, she is. She’s precious. 

 

0:04:50 – Brian

I loved how proud mom and dad were of her. 

 

0:04:52 – Kayla

Oh, they should be. 

 

0:04:54 – Brian

Yeah, I was, but I was nervous that one of them was gonna drop her and that kind of stuff. I said total grandpa mode. Yes, you were so, yes, all right, it’s daylight-saving time. It is what I Felt atone. There was like Cold front moves to this studio just now. Anybody else feel that? 

 

0:05:18 – Kayla

I love the extra daylight, but I don’t like losing my hour of sleep. 

 

0:05:23 – Brian

At our age. We wake up at two o’clock in the morning in the end way and lay there on our phones for an hour. 

 

0:05:29 – Kayla

No, no, no, no, you do. 

 

0:05:32 – Brian

Oh Well, just last night you turned on the TV and because your phone was glowing in the room. That’s not true. We’re not gonna have this argument, it’s good. 

 

0:05:42 – Kayla

Everybody loves each other, but I’m digging a hole in the backyard for your phone. We did okay, but you have gotten into this pattern that you wake up around two and you have to go to the bathroom. You come back and you scroll your phone for a while and you have the brightest phone? I don’t. It’s on dark mode. I think it signals aliens and outer space. It’s that bright and so last night I couldn’t go back to sleep. So, yes, I turned on Frasier. 

 

0:06:15 – Brian

That’s what it was Frasier. So yeah, I heard raws. I was like I think that then I was gone. I was back asleep. So yeah did you say I pull out? No, I dozed back off oh yeah, all right, that’s good Pharisees and we’ve titled this segment Pharisee that. 

 

0:06:35 – Kayla

Mmm. 

 

0:06:35 – Brian

I’m gonna let you start off this segment. There’s a lot of things I want to say, but you’re a lot more gracious than I am. 

 

0:06:44 – Kayla

This has been an ongoing conversation between you and I and for those of you who are new to our podcast, I feel like we need to give a little background here. We work for a ministry that is Five radio stations, and they are spread throughout the east coast of the United States. 

 

0:07:05 – Brian

We are not owned by any denomination. We are not and we employ people. 

 

0:07:09 – Kayla

But we are a Christian ministry. We are a faith-based ministry. There is a side to ministry and this will make sense to some and sorry if not to others that being in ministry, like what we do, it has two sides to it. It has the church aspect, but it also has the business aspect and every once in a while someone will join us and think that this is just a glorified VBS. And then, if you add to it, we are all very complex beings with our own backgrounds that we bring into a workplace. 

 

0:07:49 – Brian

And some of us are more relaxed than others. 

 

0:07:53 – Kayla

And our like beliefs and but if you it’s kind of a potpourri of again it could mirror any other workplace that we have people who are of various faith, various stages yeah, but sorry, various denominations, what I was trying to say, various stages in their faith. Correct, they could be a new Christian. They could have been walking with Christ for 40 years. You’ve got the whole gamut. 

 

0:08:20 – Brian

Somebody’s old as dirt, like me. 

 

0:08:22 – Kayla

And we all have kind of our own journey that we bring with us, yep, and so you and I have a front row seat to this. You are the executive vice president for our organization. I work with our donor care division. 

 

0:08:36 – Brian

I’m the vice president of partner services. 

 

0:08:39 – Kayla

And it’s interesting to watch people as they assimilate into our organization and watch the way that we all kind of get to know each other. So that’s the background for what started this conversation, and then we’ve watched various other things outside of our ministry playing out. 

 

0:09:00 – Brian

And our church is big on grace. 

 

0:09:02 – Kayla

It is. 

 

0:09:03 – Brian

And so as we’ve mentored people and as we’ve watched people come into the organization and as our church and we’ve been part of it, so there are things that we’ve seen, things that we’ve experienced in our own journey and as we’ve walked through. 

 

0:09:21 – Kayla

Admittedly, our background was Southern Baptist. We were both raised in the Southern Baptist Church. We are now Presbyterian, so we will. Pca be fully transparent about that. 

 

0:09:37 – Brian

PCA all the way. 

 

0:09:38 – Kayla

It seems like an ongoing conversation. For you and I, this year has been about this one statement, and then we’ll build off this. It is so easy for all of us, as humans, to fall into the trap that to be in good standing with Christ, it’s Jesus plus our striving. 

 

0:10:00 – Brian

And it’s not. It’s Jesus plus nothing. 

 

0:10:02 – Kayla

Nothing. 

 

0:10:03 – Brian

Tullian Tchividjian, who, if you can spell that name correctly, we’ll send you a fifty dollars. He actually wrote a book called Jesus plus nothing, excellent. But we think that like we can stay in his good grace or that we earn his favor by doing and marking things off, or you know, I’m saying if we can check all the boxes. 

 

0:10:27 – Kayla

Yeah, I did my diva, I read my Bible, I tithed, I prayed. I watched nothing or read nothing that would cause me to stray. I gave to someone in need. I had more faith. I didn’t mess up as much as them air quotes. 

 

0:10:45 – Brian

And that’s a danger, because when you say them like now, it’s not us in this race together, it’s me versus them or us versus. 

 

0:10:56 – Kayla

Well, it’s because we want to view ourselves more rightly and even more righteously. 

 

0:11:03 – Brian

Yeah, that’s a danger. 

 

0:11:04 – Kayla

And so it’s something that you and I have. We’ve been talking about it a lot. We’ve been kind of holding the mirror up to ourselves, asking ourselves some questions. 

 

0:11:16 – Brian

And this is the first thing I want to say to this Give grace on the non-essentials. 

 

0:11:21 – Kayla

And what does that mean? 

 

0:11:23 – Brian

The essentials to me would be like the gospel it would be the divinity of Jesus, it would be the. Trinity. It would be that the word of God’s inspired all these. Yeah, you know, for me it’s the Westminster Confession of Faith, it’s the scripture, but non-essentials. Where do you send your kid to school? 

 

0:11:43 – Kayla

Right. 

 

0:11:44 – Brian

That kind of stuff. That’s a non-essential but we make it part of sometimes our righteousness. In other words, that person isn’t really a Christian because they send their kids to a school, or public school, or or they don’t send them to, like this particular Christian school. 

 

Yeah Well, that’s not in the scriptures and so don’t draw that circle so tightly. Yeah, all Christians believe Christ will return. There are some Christians who believe in what’s called a rapture and some not, and as a result, people start to draw circles, rear really tight that say, yeah, that, like that, you have to believe that if you’re going to be a Christian and you’ve got to give a little bit of grace there, because the Bible, it doesn’t lay out the full picture. So here’s where I am Give grace on the non-essentials.

 

0:12:43 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:12:44 – Brian

That circle should include what is necessary. Everything else should be grace. 

 

0:12:49 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:12:50 – Brian

And when we don’t do that, it starts to put conditions on people and we start to say that what Jesus accomplished wasn’t really enough. 

 

0:13:03 – Kayla

Yep, there it is. 

 

0:13:05 – Brian

That Jesus only accomplished so much, and now I have to make up the deficit. 

 

0:13:12 – Kayla

But here’s the most amazing part in the Old Testament there were laws. See, I’m gonna show you. I’m learning things. 

 

She’s going to this great women’s Bible study these laws were designed for the people of that time to show obedience and loyalty to serving God, and some of these laws are still applicable to us today. I mean they just are. But even then God knew the human condition. He knew we would fail. Jesus was the perfect Atonement for all the things we would need forgiveness. I mean there’s nothing else that needs to be added to that preach. There is no checklist that we need to complete every week preach. So to that, what would you say? 

 

0:14:01 – Brian

I’m gonna say don’t judge others who sin differently than you. 

 

0:14:05 – Kayla

Hmm. 

 

0:14:06 – Brian

Because he died for for those sins as well. Yeah, I sinned with food a lot. I’m really fighting that. I mean, I’m really in the fight with that. I can sin with, like my mouth. I get angry and I pop off stuff. And then I get angry at people who, like sinned differently than me. There are people who are like addicted to like different Substances. I get angry at them. Why it’s so stupid? I’m addicted to food. Why should I get angry at these people? It’s the dumbest thing. But it’s our own hearts that are bent away. 

 

0:14:40 – Kayla

Mm-hmm, because again, we all want to believe that we’re just a little bit more righteous than the person. But Struggling with that, back to your point. 

 

0:14:50 – Brian

but if we measure ourselves against the law, we all fail, yeah, and we’re all in need of grace and we all need Jesus. 

 

0:14:59 – Kayla

We do. We have shared Many, many podcasts with you and we’ll continue to share the ways that God is growing us, exposing what needs to be dug up or out of our hearts and minds. When we share an opinion with you, it is likely based on some kind of pruning that God is doing in us. We’re not attempting we’re just not, we’re not wanting to give you a list of must-dos To be in a good standing with Christ. Sure, there are things that we’re all challenged to do through his word, but the conviction needs to come from the Holy Spirit. 

 

0:15:41 – Brian

Amen it’s not any one of us that gets to guilt or judge another Into meeting my standard or my expectation, the only standard is the one that Jesus gives us preach, and and that’s the danger, because even the book of James teaches us that we shouldn’t judge the law. So here’s what she just said is that I want to put my standard on you. When that happens, that’s me saying I’m greater than the law of Christ. 

 

0:16:13 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:16:13 – Brian

I am better than that and therefore I’m gonna write new laws. I’m gonna write new guidelines. Not at all. We should not shout where the Bible whispers, and we need to give the grace that we have been shown. Y’all, let’s be more like Jesus and yet less like ourselves. Yeah because he didn’t put conditions on us. Come to me, you who are weary and laden, and I will give you rest. 

 

0:16:41 – Kayla

Yep. 

 

0:16:42 – Brian

And what that means. Rest from what? Rest from trying to keep the law. Rest from trying to keep it perfectly. You’re not. Because we can, you can’t, yeah. 

 

0:16:51 – Kayla

Now we’re not giving a pass to live like a heathen or I love how you say that. It’s just what we are communicating. Is that anything that you’re hearing us talk about? It either is or was something that God Put before us that either needed some kind of examination by us, or we’re still thinking through it or working through it, but we sure have not arrived, and we are not saying that a person Can just walk away from the faith and just deny everything and that’s okay. 

 

0:17:24 – Brian

That’s not at all what we’re saying. No but what we are saying is don’t put limits where Christ has not Receive that mercy. 

 

0:17:34 – Kayla

Rest in that mercy and receive that grace and live in it and I will end with this the people that God has put you in a workplace with, in a home, with, in a church, with all of those people are going to let you down, they’re going to disappoint you, they are going to not measure up, they’re not going to meet your expectations at times. They’re gonna fail and you’re gonna have kind of your world rocked because maybe you, like me, have made the mistake of putting them on a pedestal that they never asked to be put on. So maybe all be mindful, when any of that happens, to see them not as the disappointment but as the beloved that Jesus gave his life for, just like each one of us. 

 

0:18:33 – Brian

And you made a good point. The other night we were talking about this. How many times have I missed Jesus’s standard? 

 

0:18:39 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:18:39 – Brian

He’s forgiven me and he’s loved me. 

 

0:18:42 – Kayla

Good point, a lot to think about. 

 

0:18:43 – Brian

There’s a lot to think about. I see we have a list here of words. 

 

0:18:49 – Kayla

So we’re going to shift gears? No, I gotta take a picture. We’re going to shift gears. 

 

0:18:53 – Brian

You have the cutest little socks on in the whole world, you like my socks. Today I’m going to share this, that picture, when this episode comes out. Oh, okay. Okay, they’re like pink, maroon, gray, they’re like stripes. 

 

0:19:08 – Kayla

They’re my pretty little socks to go in my pretty little sweater. Oh, here, baby don’t. 

 

0:19:12 – Brian

Don’t? She loves sweater. Anyway. Okay, there was a meme. 

 

0:19:17 – Kayla

About a week ago you shared a meme that was a fish with crooked teeth and it had a British saying that if you are British, you could hear it as you read it. 

 

0:19:33 – Brian

Why did it say? 

 

0:19:34 – Kayla

You try. I want you to try. It’s Chews-dee, isn’t it? No, you were so close, we had y’all. We have been practicing this for a solid week.

 

0:19:43 – Brian

This is how y’all, this is how boring our lives are. Go ahead. 

 

0:19:46 – Kayla

So I want you to say it For the English to say it. Okay, it’s Tuesday in it, okay. So, there’s not a day in it. 

 

0:19:54 – Brian

For those who are Americans listening to this, it’s what we would say is it’s Tuesday, isn’t it? But a British person would say it’s Chews-dee, innit. 

 

0:20:05 – Kayla

Okay, so y’all we have, I bet you we’ve she’s trying to get me to say it right, and he still can’t. Y’all, it’s Tuesday, isn’t it? 

 

0:20:18 – Brian

I’m from the southern part of England. Okay, I’m from the south. Okay, let me try one more time. It’s Chews-dee. Well, I’m trying Read it. It’s Chews-dee, isn’t it? No? 

 

0:20:34 – Kayla

You’re close, let’s try this again Choose, choose D D In it, in it. There you go. Now put it together. It’s Chews-dee, innit? Got it. Very good. So now we’re going to have a little fun.

 

0:20:45 – Brian

How do y’all understand each other? 

 

0:20:48 – Kayla

Well, I’m about to teach you some British words. 

 

0:20:52 – Brian

Okay, how’s this work? 

 

0:20:54 – Kayla

So we’re going to play a game and I’ve got the answers, but I’m going to hold them up Now, wait a minute I’m going to. 

 

0:21:00 – Brian

I’m from America. I can tell you what these words might mean in America, really. 

 

0:21:04 – Kayla

Okay, well, let’s see. 

 

0:21:05 – Brian

Here we go. Okay. 

 

0:21:07 – Kayla

If I say trolley, what am I referring to? 

 

0:21:10 – Brian

Street car. 

 

0:21:12 – Kayla

Grocery cart. 

 

0:21:14 – Brian

No, that is not true. Yes, it is. We call that a buggy over here. 

 

0:21:19 – Kayla

Well, good luck. 

 

0:21:20 – Brian

That’s a trolley. At Aldi they charge you a quarter for a trolley. 

 

0:21:25 – Kayla

They do all right If I say dummy. 

 

0:21:28 – Brian

Idiot. 

 

0:21:30 – Kayla

Pacifier, baby, pacifier, baby. Here’s one you’ll know. No that is not. You’re making stuff up, as God is my witness. 

 

0:21:40 – Brian

Y’all call a baby pacifier a dummy. 

 

0:21:43 – Kayla

If I say biscuit, you know this one. Cookie, you got it. Trainers. 

 

0:21:49 – Brian

Trainers. 

 

0:21:50 – Kayla

Mm-hmm. 

 

0:21:53 – Brian

Gym coach. 

 

0:21:54 – Kayla

Sneakers. 

 

0:21:56 – Brian

You are baby. 

 

0:21:57 – Kayla

I am not making this up. I’m not, Baby, I don’t believe this. Drawing pen what? 

 

0:22:06 – Brian

What is a drawing? That’s what I’m asking. You are all pens. Can’t you draw with all of them? 

 

0:22:11 – Kayla

Drawing pin P-I-N. What does that stand for? 

 

0:22:16 – Brian

You can’t draw with a P-I-N. You can poke somebody drawing pin. Take a breath and give me an answer. Knitting needle. 

 

0:22:24 – Kayla

Thumbtack. 

 

0:22:26 – Brian

This is the no. I am cutting this podcast off. 

 

0:22:29 – Kayla

What… a nappy. 

 

0:22:32 – Brian

Oh, that’s what my executive assistant, Adam Reed, takes about six of a day a nappy, I think I know this one. Is it a diaper? 

 

0:22:43 – Kayla

It is Very good. Crisps, what Crisps? Spell it C-R-I-S-P-S. Potato chips. You got it. Now, this one’s not that hard. Crisps. Ice lolly. 

 

0:23:01 – Brian

What? What? It’s not this hard Ice lolly I’ve ever heard that in my life? 

 

0:23:12 – Kayla

Give me your best guess. Popsicle. There you go. 

 

0:23:17 – Brian

No, we gotta talk about this word. 

 

0:23:20 – Kayla

Go ahead. That’s crazy. Bend it out. No, doesn’t change that. Ice lolly is a popsicle. No, it’s not. Football. Soccer. Very good. Timetable. 

 

0:23:31 – Brian

What? Well, I know what it’s, I don’t know a season schedule.

 

0:23:41 – Kayla

Here’s a few phrases for you. I’m chuffed. 

 

0:23:47 – Brian

Pissed. 

 

0:23:48 – Kayla

Actually, it means really happy. How was that close? You should know this one what chuffed, chuffed, what CHUFFED. 

 

0:24:02 – Brian

That… baby? Are you sure that’s even a word? 

 

0:24:04 – Kayla

It’s a word, it is knackered. Your face is a picture. Drunk. Really tired or exhausted. 

 

0:24:14 – Brian

I’m knackered. 

 

0:24:16 – Kayla

Dodgy, you should know this one. 

 

0:24:19 – Brian

Dodgy. 

 

0:24:21 – Kayla

I’m gonna make it. I’ll put it in this. No, hang on Slick, he’s a bit dodgy. He’s slick. Very good, close. Sketchy or suspicious Sketchy, suspicious and a cuppa. 

 

0:24:33 – Brian

A cu… what. 

 

0:24:35 – Kayla

A cuppa. Now you need to get this. C-u-p-o-f a cuppa, cuppa C-U-P-P-A. 

 

0:24:44 – Brian

That’s not a word, it is a word. 

 

0:24:46 – Kayla

Baby, it’s a phrase. 

 

0:24:48 – Brian

Cuppa, I don’t… Tea? Is it a cup of tea? 

 

0:24:55 – Kayla

There you go, that’s not a word. It is no. 

 

0:25:00 – Brian

You just had your very first. 

 

0:25:01 – Kayla

British lesson. 

 

0:25:02 – Brian

What’s this? I don’t think I did. Jumper. 

 

0:25:04 – Kayla

Oh, I did. What do you think? It is clothes, but what in particular? 

 

0:25:11 – Brian

A jacket? Sweater. 

 

0:25:15 – Kayla

So there you go. That is not. 

 

0:25:23 – Kayla

So that is your very first British lesson. 

 

0:25:27 – Brian

Kayla’s dad came over to America for our wedding. 

 

0:25:30 – Kayla

Yes. 

 

0:25:32 – Brian

And we went to, took him to the grocery store to buy him. He wanted to buy a roast. Now, nobody told me any of these, any of this word. I’m going to share one story. He goes to the butcher at the grocery I’m with him and he goes up to the butcher and he says mate, I’d like a two-pitch, I’d like a two-pound joint. Dad, you can’t be asking for drugs here, dad, why are you asking for drugs? No, a joint is a roast, Not in America, dad, you just asked the butcher for illegal drugs. 

 

And then the manager came out and I had to explain to everybody that your dad was British. 

 

0:26:14 – Kayla

There was also a situation where my dad had been going through a rough time and we had called to talk with him just to see how he was doing, and we’re on the phone. This is back in the day, kids, when we had house phones and there’s one upstairs and then there’s the extension downstairs. Well, I’m on the one phone and you’re on the other, and I hear my dad say not so good mate, I’ve been made redundant. And your response was well, congratulations. 

 

0:26:47 – Brian

I thought that meant like you got promoted. 

 

0:26:50 – Kayla

But it meant what. 

 

0:26:52 – Brian

He’d been let go. 

 

0:26:52 – Kayla

He’d been laid off. 

 

0:26:54 – Brian

So embarrassed. 

 

0:26:56 – Kayla

So again interpretation was needed. 

 

0:26:58 – Brian

I’m a dumb American. 

 

0:26:59 – Kayla

No, not at all, just two worlds collide. 

 

0:27:02 – Brian

Yeah, just don’t remember that. We whipped y’all’s tail at Yorktown, oh, here we go. On that note. 

 

0:27:09 – Kayla

This has been fun, it’s been educational. 

 

0:27:12 – Brian

It’s Chews-dee. Oh, here we go again. Say it for me. Did I get it right that time? You did very close. It’s Chews-dee, isn’t it? Nope? What am I saying wrong? It’s Chews-dee innit? 

 

0:27:24 – Kayla

There we go, you got it. There’s not a D in the second word In it. The first two people who go to our website and you will not have to answer any British question. 

 

0:27:39 – Brian

And you’re not going to have to say Chews-dee either. 

 

0:27:42 – Kayla

You’ll win a Peas and Parrots coffee mug and some stickers and some stickers. 

 

0:27:47 – Brian

All that you have to do is go to peasand carrotspodcast.com. When you get there you look for a little button. It says trivia, and when you get there you answer this question. 

 

0:27:58 – Kayla

So, as we are getting ready for daylight saving time, do you prefer springing forward or falling back? 

 

0:28:06 – Brian

I prefer Chews-dees. Here we go, so you can win a mug and a pack of stickers. We’ve been having about four winners a week. 

 

0:28:15 – Kayla

At least, and thank you so much, for it’s been a lot of fun reading your comments. I hope you’re enjoying your mug. We need to bring some of those comments so we will do that. Yes, we should do that. I think next week we’ll share some of what you’ve shared with us. 

 

0:28:28 – Brian

Anyway, go to peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Click on the trivia button. 

 

0:28:32 – Kayla

Here’s the question Do you prefer springing forward or falling back? All right, and we will delightfully send you some stickers and a mug. You can also search Peas and Carrots Podcast wherever you get your podcasts, or visit our website. 

 

0:28:48 – Brian

That is peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Hey, when you do, please don’t forget to subscribe to our podcast. You can also follow us on Facebook and Instagram. 

 

0:28:57 – Kayla

Just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast. 

 

0:28:59 – Brian

One more time it’s cheers day, isn’t it. Nope? 

 

0:29:04 – Kayla

Man, so close. 

 

0:29:06 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Growing through the challenges we face and finding hope along the way. That’s the Jesus Fix It Podcast with Jess. Check out jesusfixit.com or search Jesus Fix It wherever you listen to podcasts.  

FACEBOOK

INSTAGRAM

Season 3, Episode 7: Bye, Busy Bee

Bye, Busy Bee - Episode Description

Welcome to the Peas and Carrots Podcast, where the ordinary becomes extraordinary through a symphony of laughter. Your hosts, Brian and Kayla Sanders, invite you into their world of marital mirth and everyday absurdities. This episode takes a deep dive into the comedic side of marriage and life’s most mundane moments. Listen in as they share heartwarming and hilarious stories from their personal “vegetable patch” of life.

They take you on a journey of their shared life, revealing the quirks and quips of their marriage. From their comedic crusade against dirty dishes to answered prayers, Brian and Kayla show how laughter and self-awareness are the key ingredients to their marital journey. This podcast is not just about listening, but about engaging with the stories and finding yourself nodding and laughing along. Whether it’s Kayla’s confession of a spoon-assisted mayo spread or Brian’s, this podcast promises to add a dash of laughter to your day. So pull up a chair, and prepare to embrace the laughter with the Peas and Carrots Podcast.

Bye, Busy Bee - Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 

 

0:00:11 – Kayla

Welcome to the Peas and Carrots Podcast. I’m Brian and I’m Kayla.

 

0:00:14 – Brian

Welcome to this week’s edition of “what’s growin’ in the vegetable patch.”

 

0:00:18 – Kayla

Well, well, we have a variety of things. We any of them moldy? 

 

0:00:24 – Brian

Oh, I hope not. Oh, we have to throw away strawberries. 

 

0:00:27 – Kayla

That brain of yours is a magical place. We did have to throw away strawberries the other day. We had some pretty nasty strawberries. I opened the, so I always Wash them and cut them and put them in a container. And when I open the container, you declared what. 

 

0:00:44 – Brian

Oh, something’s rotten Kind of hit us. Yeah, anyway, okay we’re very random. 

 

0:00:51 – Kayla

Well so I am officially. Where did I leave my heating pad? Stage of life and she’s got to, I do. 

 

0:01:00 – Brian

She’s got a little avocado one which she just clears. Quote is the cutest y’all this thing is fantastic Okay. I do not work for this company. 

 

0:01:08 – Kayla

Hold on, I have to share this. It’s shaped like an avocado, it’s a little stuffed avocado and it has dried like Wheatgrass or something and lavender, so when you heat it that legal wheatgrass. Well, I mean, I hope so. I bought it off Amazon, but it’s amazing. So not only does it like work as a heating pad, but it also Provides relaxation because you have the lavender. 

 

0:01:33 – Brian

So yeah, and then you got a second one and it’s got like little corn. I will corn yeah you like that one. Every time you warm it up, I smell like pop, yeah, like we’re having popcorn so but here I am. 

 

0:01:46 – Kayla

This is who I am now and you put on your leg. 

 

0:01:48 – Brian

We’re you fell. Yes, it’s helping a lot, so so Okay gentlemen, no, ma’am, ladies and gentlemen, we have an update. 

 

0:01:58 – Kayla

You’ve been waiting for two weeks to share this. 

 

0:02:01 – Brian

Yes, I have a while back on the podcast, uh-huh. 

 

0:02:05 – Kayla

a major topic was I Spread mayonnaise with a spoon and I normally still to this day Spread mayo with a knife. 

 

0:02:18 – Brian

We were at dinner the other evening. I was being lazy and she took a spoon and spread mayo. 

 

0:02:25 – Kayla

Yeah, and I will never live this down. 

 

0:02:28 – Brian

And, as my dad would say, you, you just lathered that bread up with that spoon, with that mayo and you have not let me live it down. Well come to how the rest of the world, oh, no, no, no, no, oh yes, yes, yes, I will march my little tail across the kitchen for a night next week. 

 

You got to use that little word. I put a splash in my cup of tea and now you have fallen down to where the rest of us are. Spread mayo with a spoon. Okay, the queen is off her throne.

 

0:03:00 – Kayla

Whatever. I need to give a shout out to our delightful neighbors, and these are not the ones that were bugging me with the Christmas lights, even though Jesus checked my heart. They turned their lights from Christmas lights to Valentine lights, and now they are St. Patrick’s Day lights. 

 

They got all green and I, just just to show that I’m not a complete troll, I love the festive nature of it, so a troll? Well, when you’re grumbling about someone’s Christmas lights maybe you will, but I don’t think it’s a troll, but no, I just, I am loving it and I’m here for this every evening I get to see their green St. Patrick lights and it’s just awesome. 

 

0:03:38 – Brian

So, yes, thank you to them and this week you had a very emotional moment. 

 

0:03:44 – Kayla

I did. 

 

0:03:45 – Brian

God answered a significant prayer. Yeah, that you’ve been praying for how long. 

 

0:03:51 – Kayla

Nine years. 

 

0:03:54 – Brian

We’re not gonna get into the details of it. 

 

0:03:56 – Kayla

No, I don’t. I don’t really want to do that at this time, but I have been praying something very, very specific and God answered it this week. So I say, do not quit talking to him. If there’s something that’s just burning within you, just keep coming before him. You know what? I’m happy until he makes it clear either yes or no you know what I’m happy about? 

 

0:04:21 – Brian

Yeah, it wasn’t like get rid of B, because I’m still here. Oh Well, on that note, anyway, it’s just saying but it was a y’all, I’m just saying don’t, I agree with her, don’t quit praying. The Lord hears you, he does and he will answer in his time. That’s what this is proof of and that’s a little frustrating at times. 

 

0:04:42 – Kayla

Oh yeah. 

 

0:04:45 – Brian

What are we learning about rest? Mm-hmm almost start here. I fall asleep at what time now? 

 

0:04:53 – Kayla

Okay, you have become that person, now that at 7:30 at night, you are zoning out did not have to open this up with. 

 

0:05:00 – Brian

You have become that person. That’s very judgmental coming from the lady who spreads mayonnaise with a spoon. Okay, it’s your bad habit. 

 

0:05:09 – Kayla

What whole spoon thing Anyway. 

 

I fall asleep now you and I’ve been talking a lot about this topic and we’ve we’ve covered it once before, but it’s worthy of revisiting because it seems to be the elusive for a lot of people, and so we were chatting the other night about as much as I joke it was good to see you resting. You were genuinely relaxed, you were, and so these are just some thoughts we have on real rest. When did I’m so busy, become a badge of honor? Is it perhaps more a defense mechanism, because we fear what people will think if every hour of our day Isn’t filled with something meaningful? 

 

0:06:00 – Brian

I think it’s like I’m more successful than you. I’m busier than you, so I’m more successful. Hmm. And it makes me better than you. 

 

0:06:09 – Kayla

Yeah, it’s like it’s something to be proud of being busy. 

 

0:06:14 – Brian

Now let me say this I think that we think we’re good people if we’re earning something, If we’re busy yeah like I’m trying to earn the boss’s respect, I’m trying to earn the next level up at work. 

 

0:06:29 – Kayla

I’m trying to look more irreplaceable than you. 

 

0:06:32 – Brian

Yes, yeah and so I think that lends toward our busyness. But is it good to be busy at the right things? Yes, but we shouldn’t get our self-worth From that busyness. Yeah, now that’s tough for me Because a lot of my identity is wrapped up in being a leader and being an author and that kind of stuff, and so If I’m not busy, sometimes it becomes does Brian have value? Now I’ve gotten better about that. 

 

0:07:08 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:07:09 – Brian

I have gotten better about that, because I’m trying to learn that my self-worth comes from the love of Christ, not from my efforts, not from my busyness. 

 

0:07:20 – Kayla

Yes so. 

 

Something I have learned the best rest that I can give myself is when my heart is at rest. I’m learning to carve out space for my mind and heart to rest, because we all carry so much heavy stuff and Sometimes resting in Christ looks like trusting him to carry the things that I can’t or shouldn’t carry on my own. And I am. You know, I’m the world’s worst. I’m always worrying about or thinking about something, and I’ve been working really consciously this year to just set things down and let my heart Rest, let my mind have peace, and it’s hard fought. I’m not gonna pretend this is easy. 

 

0:08:17 – Brian

Yeah, we’re different in this respect is that she, like I, can have something going on in my world. Yeah but I have the ability to like Shelf it. Oh, I can’t like. I have the ability like okay, I’ll shelf that and I’ll deal with that tomorrow. No, and you can’t. 

 

0:08:36 – Kayla

I’m constantly trying to either fix it or problem solve it, or repair it or whatever it needs. I’m trying to do that. Either I’m thinking of that next conversation that’s gonna need to take place, or I’m thinking of that next concern that I’m gonna need to address, or, yeah, it’s just cool. 

 

0:08:55 – Brian

So I’m trying. You’re doing great. I Do find it odd that the way that you oftentimes rest is to organize things. 

 

0:09:05 – Kayla

I Do like you learn that. Yeah, look at her smile. She will organize what you’re kind of sharing my secrets here. 

 

0:09:13 – Brian

Well, she loves to organize the pantry, she loves to organize her closet, even though she may have just organized it 30 days ago. 

 

0:09:20 – Kayla

You know it signals what I’m trying to do, what process process something. Yeah, so yeah, but I just find that I’ll rearrange something nine times out of ten, putting it right back the way it was, but yeah, there we are, but you feel better I do, okay, well, that’s what matters. 

 

0:09:36 – Brian

Building on what miss K said about resting in Christ, I Need us to hear this Jesus came because we can’t earn our way to heaven. We are flawed, we are depraved, we are sinful. Okay, so you have to release yourself from the burden that you can work your way to his favor. 

 

Amen you can work your way to his grace, and when you and so what we mean by resting in Christ is you rest in him, that only he Can provide you with the righteousness needed To know God and to know his peace. That’s what we mean by that. It doesn’t mean not doing anything. Now because you are resting in Christ as your only solution. That should lead you to like do things for him. 

 

We should pursue him, we should worship him, we should live our lives in ways that glorify him but those things do not earn favor, they do not earn grace, they do not earn any of that. Yeah, and that’s hard for me, that’s hard for all of us. How many of us wanted our dads to be proud of us? Yeah, I Did, and it’s one of the last things that my dad ever said to me and we carry that over to our relationship with Jesus is that we want him to be proud of us. 

 

0:10:58 – Kayla

So we try to do all this stuff but the truth is, we get to rest in the work that he did. Yes, that’s the beautiful when that really sinks in. Yes, we can truly rest in all that he accomplished on our behalf. 

 

0:11:16 – Brian

So yeah, give yourself a break. Stop trying to earn grace, trying to earn favor. Yeah, lay it down at his feet. 

 

0:11:25 – Kayla

There’s an old saying put on your own oxygen mask first. We’ve all heard that I’m no good to those around me if I haven’t properly rested. So the reason that this is so important for all of us is if we are not taking care of our basic needs, we can’t take care of others because we’re gonna be too exhausted. 

 

0:11:50 – Brian

You’re gonna be snippy not you, but oh. 

 

0:11:53 – Kayla

Well, I admit that in a minute no. 

 

0:11:54 – Brian

I think you’re snippy. 

 

0:11:55 – Kayla

Oh, I am what I’m tired Really. Oh, have you lived with me. 

 

0:12:00 – Brian

Yes, but I wouldn’t use the word snippy. Oh, all right, I Would use the word done like I’m okay, that’s what I would use. 

 

0:12:10 – Kayla

So be. How do you rest? What do you recommend? I check I read a book, yeah. 

 

0:12:15 – Brian

I’ll watch a show. I’ll watch a favorite television series or a favorite movie. I’ll take a nap. 

 

0:12:22 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:12:24 – Brian

I’ll try and take a walk. 

 

0:12:25 – Kayla

I was gonna say, for me it looks like either as you alluded, organizing something, because it helps me to understand. 

 

0:12:34 – Brian

It just helps me to rice like the numbers of rice in a bag. 

 

0:12:39 – Kayla

No, we’re not, we’re gonna not very restful. Sometimes I will read a book, sometimes I will go for a walk just getting some fresh air and clearing my brain, but a lot of times it’s those quiet moments in our house when the day is done, when when the work is finished for now, and it can just be that you and I are sitting in a shared space, and In that moment is when I find that I can truly have rest and it’s very sweet, hmm. 

 

0:13:10 – Brian

but we all go know that there are seasons in our lives that are just chaos. 

 

0:13:18 – Kayla

Yeah, they’re just so busy. They’re just so busy but it’s how we react to that. 

 

There’s so much truth when I find myself and this is what I’m willing to confess If I’m resentful or I’m complaining, easily frustrated or you know this about me if I am highly emotional or sensitive because I’m not normally, I’m not taken to like big emotion swings I can almost always trace it back to being tired, and it may not just be that I’m physically tired. But do I just need to rest? Do I need like a mental break? Or those are tells for me. So I wonder for all of us, what is it that we need to take a look at and evaluate? How am I giving away my tiredness? 

 

0:14:09 – Brian

I’ll be sharp. If I’m tired, I’ll be sharp. Would you agree with that? I mean you do no, I’m just saying would you agree with that? 

 

0:14:18 – Kayla

Well, I mean, I don’t wanna say something that’s gonna hurt your feelings. 

 

0:14:21 – Brian

It’s not gonna hurt my feelings, I don’t have any feelings. 

 

0:14:23 – Kayla

You look cranky when you’re tired, Okay that’s good, impatient.

 

0:14:28 – Brian

We’ll leave it there. Most of the leadership team would say that’s every day he must come exhausted into work every day. 

 

0:14:35 – Kayla

No, it’s a different kind of impatience. So, yeah, it’s very rare that I see it honestly, but it’s a tell for me that you’re tired. 

 

0:14:44 – Brian

But You’ll be like B go eat a cooking, take a nap. Okay, baby, I’m all about a cookie. Go watch a movie, go watch a movie, so y’all keep yourself a break. Yeah, take a nap and rest in him. Don’t try and earn his favor. 

 

0:15:02 – Kayla

And when you say, oh, I’m so busy, is it with passion or is it with gloating? 

 

0:15:10 – Brian

Or complaining. I’m the martyr. Look at me. What’s the tone behind your busy? It’s your motive, yeah, yeah. So you wanted to share some stories this week. 

 

0:15:22 – Kayla

Well, we’re gonna go back to the beginning, okay, so yeah, the first story she wanted to share. 

 

0:15:28 – Brian

Now we work for a radio ministry. 

 

0:15:32 – Kayla

We do. 

 

0:15:33 – Brian

This morning the topic on Spirit FM that Jess had. 

 

0:15:36 – Kayla

Mm-hmm. 

 

0:15:37 – Brian

Was what was something that you did that. 

 

0:15:41 – Kayla

That revealed your laziness, okay. 

 

0:15:44 – Brian

Yeah, I said something to Miss Kayla. 

 

0:15:47 – Kayla

And I shared it with Jess. 

 

0:15:48 – Brian

Yeah, who texted the morning show host, Jess at Spirit FM. So I’m gonna confess this when I was single, before I ever met you. 

 

0:15:57 – Kayla

Oh, it was before we met. Okay. 

 

0:16:00 – Brian

I would go to Walmart, or I would go to Thrift store or to the thrift. Well, it was at that point. I was going to thrift stores, but I’d also go to Walmart, uh-huh, and I would buy the cheapest set of plates and the cheapest set of silverware each week, so I wouldn’t have to wash dishes. 

 

0:16:18 – Kayla

What would you do with them, babe? 

 

0:16:20 – Brian

I’d throw them away. 

 

0:16:21 – Kayla

Why didn’t you just buy paper plates? 

 

0:16:24 – Brian

Because I might have been trying to date certain girls and have them over. 

 

0:16:29 – Kayla

Oh, my gosh. 

 

0:16:30 – Brian

And I didn’t notice. 

 

0:16:31 – Kayla

I’ve never heard this angle. 

 

0:16:32 – Brian

Well, why do you think I didn’t have paper plates? I didn’t think women would be impressed. Y’all should see her face. 

 

0:16:42 – Brian

Do you think you bring them over for dinner and you serve them on paper plates? 

 

0:16:47 – Kayla

So, but what would you do after said date left? What would you do with the plates? I don’t need them on paper. Throw them away. Throw them away. Yes, instead of what. 

 

0:16:58 – Brian

After we started dating, what did you say? 

 

0:17:02 – Kayla

We are not throwing plates away anymore, so I started having to go get paper plate. 

 

0:17:07 – Brian

So but it worked out. I mean, oh my God, you can buy cheap. 

 

0:17:11 – Kayla

See, I’ve been married to you for 30 years and I just learned the angle. That is not true. I did not know Listen, as God is my witness I did not know the reason why you weren’t back. Throw away my pink blanket. The people do not want to hear about your pink blanket. No, you don’t want to hear about your pink blanket. 

 

0:17:30 – Brian

You’re using the people as a shield. 

 

0:17:33 – Kayla

One day, the pink blanket story will be shared. They’ll be on my side. So I’m okay. They’re going to be on my side with this one too. I really missed that. I get, I grew up in a house where there was the grease bucket, and if you’re a good southern person, you know exactly what I’m talking about. You save the grease from your bacon or from your like cooking. I went to pull out. We were about four weeks from getting married. 

 

0:18:00 – Brian

We had been gifted so much stuff that you’re living with your mom and step. 

 

0:18:05 – Kayla

I was still living at home. 

 

0:18:06 – Brian

And I was 10 minutes away in a but. 

 

0:18:08 – Kayla

I was bringing some of our wedding gifts and going ahead and placing them in the cabinet. 

 

0:18:14 – Brian

Before you finish this story, I want to apologize for what happened. Okay, just want to go on the record. I’m sorry, very bad about this, but go ahead, I still have shiny hair. There was so much that is not true. 

 

0:18:25 – Kayla

I pulled out this pot that was in the top cabinet, shoved in the back, and I pulled it out thinking oh, it’s empty. It was full of old grease that when the lid fell off and hit the floor, the grease starts to pour all down me, for my hair, down my shoulders, down my shirt. I think I screamed and you came running. I smelled like old bacon grease for like a week. 

 

0:18:55 – Brian

Can I just say you were real sexy that week. I just want to say that. 

 

0:19:00 – Kayla

Okay, yeah, anyway, not our finest moment. 

 

0:19:06 – Brian

I could have nibbled on your little neck. Stop. Just saying that’s bacon. Not appropriate. Okay. Dogs were chasing her down the street. Stop. 

 

0:19:16 – Kayla

Oh my goodness, we had been married about six months and you knew I really wanted a sit down kitchen table. We did not have one. We had a couple of folding chairs and one of those little card tables and we had saved up some money. We lived in a studio apartment. 

 

0:19:36 – Brian

It was a one bedroom. It was a one bedroom, one bath apartment. It was tiny, and so we went to a furniture store Almost said grocery store, furniture store and we bought a dining room table and I picked one that had eight chairs. Okay, let me just go on the record and say we did not measure the space. That table took up 90% of our living room and dining room, and of those eight, chairs, only two of them could be used. 

 

0:20:03 – Kayla

Yeah. Because that’s how much of the space it took up until we moved into our next home. 

 

0:20:08 – Brian

Yeah so. 

 

0:20:09 – Kayla

So still laugh about that. It was beautiful, but we used two of the eight chairs. 

 

0:20:13 – Brian

You know, when we remodeled our house recently, I thought I had measured the room where we put the shelves of the library and I apparently I mismeasured and I got away with it. We have like a quarter of an inch. 

 

0:20:26 – Kayla

Oh, do we? I was aware of that. The furniture guy told on you. 

 

0:20:30 – Brian

Really, he did? I tipped him really well that day. 

 

0:20:35 – Kayla

He told on you. He said he’s been sweating buckets oh man. I thought yes. So we have a couple of air quotes “parenting stories,” our first attempt at parenting a pet. 

 

0:20:48 – Brian

We got this dog from the family. We went through this rescue and they. 

 

0:20:51 – Kayla

What they were doing is they were re-homing pets that needed to leave their current situation, so we adopted this adorable like four-year-old dog from the family. How long did we make it B?

 

0:21:06 – Brian

One day, we took him back to them the next day. 

 

0:21:09 – Kayla

Because he was so inconsolable and so we called the rescue and they’re like sure you can reach out to the family. They begged to get him back. They had so much regret over their decision to re-home him. The kids were so happy they were so happy to see us coming and we were so relieved because it was the worst night of our lives. He cried and howled all night long. 

 

0:21:35 – Brian

Another bad decision the Sanders made is we adopted a rabbit. 

 

0:21:39 – Kayla

Oh yeah, I don’t recommend this. No, when you live in an apartment. 

 

0:21:45 – Brian

It was not good your dad helped release him into the wild. Yes, so, not our finest moment. No, not our finest moment. So. 

 

0:21:57 – Kayla

Gladly. We waited a good 10 years before we got another pet and then to like set the record straight, we had that one for nearly 15 years, so yeah, this last story. 

 

0:22:07 – Brian

Okay, was this our first or second date? 

 

0:22:12 – Kayla

We were engaged. Oh, we had just gotten engaged. We were going on a date. 

 

0:22:19 – Brian

And you look at me as we’re leaving. I think your parents’ trailer and you said “do you like my skirt?” 

 

0:22:28 – Kayla

And this is the response I get. “I’m not a huge fan. The pattern looks like deck chair material. I’d change if I were you.” There are moments be when women don’t necessarily want complete honesty. This was a moment for you and yes, somehow here we are 30 years later. 

 

0:22:51 – Brian

Our whole life flashed before my eyes in that 30 seconds after I said it. I’m just going to say it we are. But here we are nearly 31 years later. 

 

0:23:00 – Kayla

Yeah, we’re on our 31st year, wow, and you have never, ever, ever criticized anything. I’ve worn since then, if you like it by it baby baby it’s so pretty. 

 

0:23:13 – Brian

Called my skirt, deck, chair material. Well, it was baby. It looked like a beach ball had been wrapped around you. That’s what it looked like it was the style back then? 

 

0:23:24 – Kayla

No, it wasn’t. Anyway, we hope you’ve had a little fun with these Two way. 

 

0:23:28 – Brian

My pink blanket and I didn’t like it Okay, we’re going to go here. 

 

0:23:32 – Kayla

No, we’re not. 

 

0:23:33 – Brian

No, we’re not no no, no, the good people. 

 

0:23:35 – Kayla

We are going to go here. She has got her finger up. I am telling this story. We were, so you asked for this. We were a month from getting married and we, of course, we had had like seven or eight wedding showers and we had been given some beautiful new linens, towels, blankets, all of it. I was at the new apartment putting together all of like the bedroom and everything like that. There was a blanket that you call it pink. It was really more of a light brown. It was so dirty. It used to be pink and the whole middle of the blanket was a hole. There was no middle, so I assumed. 

 

0:24:25 – Brian

I assumed. 

 

0:24:27 – Kayla

No, uh-uh. Either way, what you call light pink was so dirty, it was more of a brown color. 

 

0:24:33 – Brian

So what does Miss Sanders do? 

 

0:24:34 – Kayla

I threw it in the dumpster.

 

0:24:35 – Brian

And was I advised before my blanket? 

 

0:24:38 – Kayla

Fair enough, you weren’t. But nobody is going to say that I should not have gotten rid of the blanket. I could have washed it and patched it. It smelled. 

 

0:24:47 – Brian

It was horrible. Why didn’t I wash sheets? I’ve washed sheets. Maybe once a year I’d go out and buy new ones. 

 

0:24:55 – Kayla

Okay, we need to end this. Okay, that’s the story of the pink blanket. Very sad, and you had a beautiful new blanket to replace it yeah.

 

0:25:04 – Brian

And this bedspread and all these frou frou pillows and everything. 

 

0:25:08 – Kayla

Welcome to married life. 

 

0:25:10 – Brian

Okay, I love it. It’s gorgeous. Just don’t bring that beach ball stuff up into here, listen. Thanks for listening to this week’s episode of the Peas and Carrots Podcast. Hey, so far this past week we had like four winners, so all you got to do is answer a trivia question. 

 

0:25:28 – Kayla

Yes, if you will go to our website, look for the trivia button. Visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com, click that trivia button and answer this question. 

 

0:25:40 – Brian

How do you pursue rest for yourself? Do you wrap yourself in a pink blanket? Really, really. 

 

0:25:49 – Kayla

Just okay Again. Please visit the peasandcarrotspodcast.com website. Click that trivia button. No questions about pink blankets. Just how are you pursuing rest for yourself? You can search the Peas and Carrots Podcast wherever you get your podcasts, or visit our website. Again that is peasandcarrotspodcast.com.

 

0:26:11 – Brian

Thanks for listening and don’t forget to subscribe when you’re there. You can also follow us on Facebook and Instagram. 

 

0:26:19 – Kayla

Just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast. 

 

0:26:22 – Brian

I’m still a little bit bitter about that pink blanket. 

 

0:26:25 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Life’s not perfect. That’s why God gave us friends like Melody and Candi. Check out QuirksBumpsandBruises.com, or search Quirks, Bumps, and Bruises wherever you listen to podcasts. 

FACEBOOK

INSTAGRAM