Season 3, Episode 7: Bye, Busy Bee

Bye, Busy Bee - Episode Description

Welcome to the Peas and Carrots Podcast, where the ordinary becomes extraordinary through a symphony of laughter. Your hosts, Brian and Kayla Sanders, invite you into their world of marital mirth and everyday absurdities. This episode takes a deep dive into the comedic side of marriage and life’s most mundane moments. Listen in as they share heartwarming and hilarious stories from their personal “vegetable patch” of life.

They take you on a journey of their shared life, revealing the quirks and quips of their marriage. From their comedic crusade against dirty dishes to answered prayers, Brian and Kayla show how laughter and self-awareness are the key ingredients to their marital journey. This podcast is not just about listening, but about engaging with the stories and finding yourself nodding and laughing along. Whether it’s Kayla’s confession of a spoon-assisted mayo spread or Brian’s, this podcast promises to add a dash of laughter to your day. So pull up a chair, and prepare to embrace the laughter with the Peas and Carrots Podcast.

Bye, Busy Bee - Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 

 

0:00:11 – Kayla

Welcome to the Peas and Carrots Podcast. I’m Brian and I’m Kayla.

 

0:00:14 – Brian

Welcome to this week’s edition of “what’s growin’ in the vegetable patch.”

 

0:00:18 – Kayla

Well, well, we have a variety of things. We any of them moldy? 

 

0:00:24 – Brian

Oh, I hope not. Oh, we have to throw away strawberries. 

 

0:00:27 – Kayla

That brain of yours is a magical place. We did have to throw away strawberries the other day. We had some pretty nasty strawberries. I opened the, so I always Wash them and cut them and put them in a container. And when I open the container, you declared what. 

 

0:00:44 – Brian

Oh, something’s rotten Kind of hit us. Yeah, anyway, okay we’re very random. 

 

0:00:51 – Kayla

Well so I am officially. Where did I leave my heating pad? Stage of life and she’s got to, I do. 

 

0:01:00 – Brian

She’s got a little avocado one which she just clears. Quote is the cutest y’all this thing is fantastic Okay. I do not work for this company. 

 

0:01:08 – Kayla

Hold on, I have to share this. It’s shaped like an avocado, it’s a little stuffed avocado and it has dried like Wheatgrass or something and lavender, so when you heat it that legal wheatgrass. Well, I mean, I hope so. I bought it off Amazon, but it’s amazing. So not only does it like work as a heating pad, but it also Provides relaxation because you have the lavender. 

 

0:01:33 – Brian

So yeah, and then you got a second one and it’s got like little corn. I will corn yeah you like that one. Every time you warm it up, I smell like pop, yeah, like we’re having popcorn so but here I am. 

 

0:01:46 – Kayla

This is who I am now and you put on your leg. 

 

0:01:48 – Brian

We’re you fell. Yes, it’s helping a lot, so so Okay gentlemen, no, ma’am, ladies and gentlemen, we have an update. 

 

0:01:58 – Kayla

You’ve been waiting for two weeks to share this. 

 

0:02:01 – Brian

Yes, I have a while back on the podcast, uh-huh. 

 

0:02:05 – Kayla

a major topic was I Spread mayonnaise with a spoon and I normally still to this day Spread mayo with a knife. 

 

0:02:18 – Brian

We were at dinner the other evening. I was being lazy and she took a spoon and spread mayo. 

 

0:02:25 – Kayla

Yeah, and I will never live this down. 

 

0:02:28 – Brian

And, as my dad would say, you, you just lathered that bread up with that spoon, with that mayo and you have not let me live it down. Well come to how the rest of the world, oh, no, no, no, no, oh yes, yes, yes, I will march my little tail across the kitchen for a night next week. 

 

You got to use that little word. I put a splash in my cup of tea and now you have fallen down to where the rest of us are. Spread mayo with a spoon. Okay, the queen is off her throne.

 

0:03:00 – Kayla

Whatever. I need to give a shout out to our delightful neighbors, and these are not the ones that were bugging me with the Christmas lights, even though Jesus checked my heart. They turned their lights from Christmas lights to Valentine lights, and now they are St. Patrick’s Day lights. 

 

They got all green and I, just just to show that I’m not a complete troll, I love the festive nature of it, so a troll? Well, when you’re grumbling about someone’s Christmas lights maybe you will, but I don’t think it’s a troll, but no, I just, I am loving it and I’m here for this every evening I get to see their green St. Patrick lights and it’s just awesome. 

 

0:03:38 – Brian

So, yes, thank you to them and this week you had a very emotional moment. 

 

0:03:44 – Kayla

I did. 

 

0:03:45 – Brian

God answered a significant prayer. Yeah, that you’ve been praying for how long. 

 

0:03:51 – Kayla

Nine years. 

 

0:03:54 – Brian

We’re not gonna get into the details of it. 

 

0:03:56 – Kayla

No, I don’t. I don’t really want to do that at this time, but I have been praying something very, very specific and God answered it this week. So I say, do not quit talking to him. If there’s something that’s just burning within you, just keep coming before him. You know what? I’m happy until he makes it clear either yes or no you know what I’m happy about? 

 

0:04:21 – Brian

Yeah, it wasn’t like get rid of B, because I’m still here. Oh Well, on that note, anyway, it’s just saying but it was a y’all, I’m just saying don’t, I agree with her, don’t quit praying. The Lord hears you, he does and he will answer in his time. That’s what this is proof of and that’s a little frustrating at times. 

 

0:04:42 – Kayla

Oh yeah. 

 

0:04:45 – Brian

What are we learning about rest? Mm-hmm almost start here. I fall asleep at what time now? 

 

0:04:53 – Kayla

Okay, you have become that person, now that at 7:30 at night, you are zoning out did not have to open this up with. 

 

0:05:00 – Brian

You have become that person. That’s very judgmental coming from the lady who spreads mayonnaise with a spoon. Okay, it’s your bad habit. 

 

0:05:09 – Kayla

What whole spoon thing Anyway. 

 

I fall asleep now you and I’ve been talking a lot about this topic and we’ve we’ve covered it once before, but it’s worthy of revisiting because it seems to be the elusive for a lot of people, and so we were chatting the other night about as much as I joke it was good to see you resting. You were genuinely relaxed, you were, and so these are just some thoughts we have on real rest. When did I’m so busy, become a badge of honor? Is it perhaps more a defense mechanism, because we fear what people will think if every hour of our day Isn’t filled with something meaningful? 

 

0:06:00 – Brian

I think it’s like I’m more successful than you. I’m busier than you, so I’m more successful. Hmm. And it makes me better than you. 

 

0:06:09 – Kayla

Yeah, it’s like it’s something to be proud of being busy. 

 

0:06:14 – Brian

Now let me say this I think that we think we’re good people if we’re earning something, If we’re busy yeah like I’m trying to earn the boss’s respect, I’m trying to earn the next level up at work. 

 

0:06:29 – Kayla

I’m trying to look more irreplaceable than you. 

 

0:06:32 – Brian

Yes, yeah and so I think that lends toward our busyness. But is it good to be busy at the right things? Yes, but we shouldn’t get our self-worth From that busyness. Yeah, now that’s tough for me Because a lot of my identity is wrapped up in being a leader and being an author and that kind of stuff, and so If I’m not busy, sometimes it becomes does Brian have value? Now I’ve gotten better about that. 

 

0:07:08 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:07:09 – Brian

I have gotten better about that, because I’m trying to learn that my self-worth comes from the love of Christ, not from my efforts, not from my busyness. 

 

0:07:20 – Kayla

Yes so. 

 

Something I have learned the best rest that I can give myself is when my heart is at rest. I’m learning to carve out space for my mind and heart to rest, because we all carry so much heavy stuff and Sometimes resting in Christ looks like trusting him to carry the things that I can’t or shouldn’t carry on my own. And I am. You know, I’m the world’s worst. I’m always worrying about or thinking about something, and I’ve been working really consciously this year to just set things down and let my heart Rest, let my mind have peace, and it’s hard fought. I’m not gonna pretend this is easy. 

 

0:08:17 – Brian

Yeah, we’re different in this respect is that she, like I, can have something going on in my world. Yeah but I have the ability to like Shelf it. Oh, I can’t like. I have the ability like okay, I’ll shelf that and I’ll deal with that tomorrow. No, and you can’t. 

 

0:08:36 – Kayla

I’m constantly trying to either fix it or problem solve it, or repair it or whatever it needs. I’m trying to do that. Either I’m thinking of that next conversation that’s gonna need to take place, or I’m thinking of that next concern that I’m gonna need to address, or, yeah, it’s just cool. 

 

0:08:55 – Brian

So I’m trying. You’re doing great. I Do find it odd that the way that you oftentimes rest is to organize things. 

 

0:09:05 – Kayla

I Do like you learn that. Yeah, look at her smile. She will organize what you’re kind of sharing my secrets here. 

 

0:09:13 – Brian

Well, she loves to organize the pantry, she loves to organize her closet, even though she may have just organized it 30 days ago. 

 

0:09:20 – Kayla

You know it signals what I’m trying to do, what process process something. Yeah, so yeah, but I just find that I’ll rearrange something nine times out of ten, putting it right back the way it was, but yeah, there we are, but you feel better I do, okay, well, that’s what matters. 

 

0:09:36 – Brian

Building on what miss K said about resting in Christ, I Need us to hear this Jesus came because we can’t earn our way to heaven. We are flawed, we are depraved, we are sinful. Okay, so you have to release yourself from the burden that you can work your way to his favor. 

 

Amen you can work your way to his grace, and when you and so what we mean by resting in Christ is you rest in him, that only he Can provide you with the righteousness needed To know God and to know his peace. That’s what we mean by that. It doesn’t mean not doing anything. Now because you are resting in Christ as your only solution. That should lead you to like do things for him. 

 

We should pursue him, we should worship him, we should live our lives in ways that glorify him but those things do not earn favor, they do not earn grace, they do not earn any of that. Yeah, and that’s hard for me, that’s hard for all of us. How many of us wanted our dads to be proud of us? Yeah, I Did, and it’s one of the last things that my dad ever said to me and we carry that over to our relationship with Jesus is that we want him to be proud of us. 

 

0:10:58 – Kayla

So we try to do all this stuff but the truth is, we get to rest in the work that he did. Yes, that’s the beautiful when that really sinks in. Yes, we can truly rest in all that he accomplished on our behalf. 

 

0:11:16 – Brian

So yeah, give yourself a break. Stop trying to earn grace, trying to earn favor. Yeah, lay it down at his feet. 

 

0:11:25 – Kayla

There’s an old saying put on your own oxygen mask first. We’ve all heard that I’m no good to those around me if I haven’t properly rested. So the reason that this is so important for all of us is if we are not taking care of our basic needs, we can’t take care of others because we’re gonna be too exhausted. 

 

0:11:50 – Brian

You’re gonna be snippy not you, but oh. 

 

0:11:53 – Kayla

Well, I admit that in a minute no. 

 

0:11:54 – Brian

I think you’re snippy. 

 

0:11:55 – Kayla

Oh, I am what I’m tired Really. Oh, have you lived with me. 

 

0:12:00 – Brian

Yes, but I wouldn’t use the word snippy. Oh, all right, I Would use the word done like I’m okay, that’s what I would use. 

 

0:12:10 – Kayla

So be. How do you rest? What do you recommend? I check I read a book, yeah. 

 

0:12:15 – Brian

I’ll watch a show. I’ll watch a favorite television series or a favorite movie. I’ll take a nap. 

 

0:12:22 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:12:24 – Brian

I’ll try and take a walk. 

 

0:12:25 – Kayla

I was gonna say, for me it looks like either as you alluded, organizing something, because it helps me to understand. 

 

0:12:34 – Brian

It just helps me to rice like the numbers of rice in a bag. 

 

0:12:39 – Kayla

No, we’re not, we’re gonna not very restful. Sometimes I will read a book, sometimes I will go for a walk just getting some fresh air and clearing my brain, but a lot of times it’s those quiet moments in our house when the day is done, when when the work is finished for now, and it can just be that you and I are sitting in a shared space, and In that moment is when I find that I can truly have rest and it’s very sweet, hmm. 

 

0:13:10 – Brian

but we all go know that there are seasons in our lives that are just chaos. 

 

0:13:18 – Kayla

Yeah, they’re just so busy. They’re just so busy but it’s how we react to that. 

 

There’s so much truth when I find myself and this is what I’m willing to confess If I’m resentful or I’m complaining, easily frustrated or you know this about me if I am highly emotional or sensitive because I’m not normally, I’m not taken to like big emotion swings I can almost always trace it back to being tired, and it may not just be that I’m physically tired. But do I just need to rest? Do I need like a mental break? Or those are tells for me. So I wonder for all of us, what is it that we need to take a look at and evaluate? How am I giving away my tiredness? 

 

0:14:09 – Brian

I’ll be sharp. If I’m tired, I’ll be sharp. Would you agree with that? I mean you do no, I’m just saying would you agree with that? 

 

0:14:18 – Kayla

Well, I mean, I don’t wanna say something that’s gonna hurt your feelings. 

 

0:14:21 – Brian

It’s not gonna hurt my feelings, I don’t have any feelings. 

 

0:14:23 – Kayla

You look cranky when you’re tired, Okay that’s good, impatient.

 

0:14:28 – Brian

We’ll leave it there. Most of the leadership team would say that’s every day he must come exhausted into work every day. 

 

0:14:35 – Kayla

No, it’s a different kind of impatience. So, yeah, it’s very rare that I see it honestly, but it’s a tell for me that you’re tired. 

 

0:14:44 – Brian

But You’ll be like B go eat a cooking, take a nap. Okay, baby, I’m all about a cookie. Go watch a movie, go watch a movie, so y’all keep yourself a break. Yeah, take a nap and rest in him. Don’t try and earn his favor. 

 

0:15:02 – Kayla

And when you say, oh, I’m so busy, is it with passion or is it with gloating? 

 

0:15:10 – Brian

Or complaining. I’m the martyr. Look at me. What’s the tone behind your busy? It’s your motive, yeah, yeah. So you wanted to share some stories this week. 

 

0:15:22 – Kayla

Well, we’re gonna go back to the beginning, okay, so yeah, the first story she wanted to share. 

 

0:15:28 – Brian

Now we work for a radio ministry. 

 

0:15:32 – Kayla

We do. 

 

0:15:33 – Brian

This morning the topic on Spirit FM that Jess had. 

 

0:15:36 – Kayla

Mm-hmm. 

 

0:15:37 – Brian

Was what was something that you did that. 

 

0:15:41 – Kayla

That revealed your laziness, okay. 

 

0:15:44 – Brian

Yeah, I said something to Miss Kayla. 

 

0:15:47 – Kayla

And I shared it with Jess. 

 

0:15:48 – Brian

Yeah, who texted the morning show host, Jess at Spirit FM. So I’m gonna confess this when I was single, before I ever met you. 

 

0:15:57 – Kayla

Oh, it was before we met. Okay. 

 

0:16:00 – Brian

I would go to Walmart, or I would go to Thrift store or to the thrift. Well, it was at that point. I was going to thrift stores, but I’d also go to Walmart, uh-huh, and I would buy the cheapest set of plates and the cheapest set of silverware each week, so I wouldn’t have to wash dishes. 

 

0:16:18 – Kayla

What would you do with them, babe? 

 

0:16:20 – Brian

I’d throw them away. 

 

0:16:21 – Kayla

Why didn’t you just buy paper plates? 

 

0:16:24 – Brian

Because I might have been trying to date certain girls and have them over. 

 

0:16:29 – Kayla

Oh, my gosh. 

 

0:16:30 – Brian

And I didn’t notice. 

 

0:16:31 – Kayla

I’ve never heard this angle. 

 

0:16:32 – Brian

Well, why do you think I didn’t have paper plates? I didn’t think women would be impressed. Y’all should see her face. 

 

0:16:42 – Brian

Do you think you bring them over for dinner and you serve them on paper plates? 

 

0:16:47 – Kayla

So, but what would you do after said date left? What would you do with the plates? I don’t need them on paper. Throw them away. Throw them away. Yes, instead of what. 

 

0:16:58 – Brian

After we started dating, what did you say? 

 

0:17:02 – Kayla

We are not throwing plates away anymore, so I started having to go get paper plate. 

 

0:17:07 – Brian

So but it worked out. I mean, oh my God, you can buy cheap. 

 

0:17:11 – Kayla

See, I’ve been married to you for 30 years and I just learned the angle. That is not true. I did not know Listen, as God is my witness I did not know the reason why you weren’t back. Throw away my pink blanket. The people do not want to hear about your pink blanket. No, you don’t want to hear about your pink blanket. 

 

0:17:30 – Brian

You’re using the people as a shield. 

 

0:17:33 – Kayla

One day, the pink blanket story will be shared. They’ll be on my side. So I’m okay. They’re going to be on my side with this one too. I really missed that. I get, I grew up in a house where there was the grease bucket, and if you’re a good southern person, you know exactly what I’m talking about. You save the grease from your bacon or from your like cooking. I went to pull out. We were about four weeks from getting married. 

 

0:18:00 – Brian

We had been gifted so much stuff that you’re living with your mom and step. 

 

0:18:05 – Kayla

I was still living at home. 

 

0:18:06 – Brian

And I was 10 minutes away in a but. 

 

0:18:08 – Kayla

I was bringing some of our wedding gifts and going ahead and placing them in the cabinet. 

 

0:18:14 – Brian

Before you finish this story, I want to apologize for what happened. Okay, just want to go on the record. I’m sorry, very bad about this, but go ahead, I still have shiny hair. There was so much that is not true. 

 

0:18:25 – Kayla

I pulled out this pot that was in the top cabinet, shoved in the back, and I pulled it out thinking oh, it’s empty. It was full of old grease that when the lid fell off and hit the floor, the grease starts to pour all down me, for my hair, down my shoulders, down my shirt. I think I screamed and you came running. I smelled like old bacon grease for like a week. 

 

0:18:55 – Brian

Can I just say you were real sexy that week. I just want to say that. 

 

0:19:00 – Kayla

Okay, yeah, anyway, not our finest moment. 

 

0:19:06 – Brian

I could have nibbled on your little neck. Stop. Just saying that’s bacon. Not appropriate. Okay. Dogs were chasing her down the street. Stop. 

 

0:19:16 – Kayla

Oh my goodness, we had been married about six months and you knew I really wanted a sit down kitchen table. We did not have one. We had a couple of folding chairs and one of those little card tables and we had saved up some money. We lived in a studio apartment. 

 

0:19:36 – Brian

It was a one bedroom. It was a one bedroom, one bath apartment. It was tiny, and so we went to a furniture store Almost said grocery store, furniture store and we bought a dining room table and I picked one that had eight chairs. Okay, let me just go on the record and say we did not measure the space. That table took up 90% of our living room and dining room, and of those eight, chairs, only two of them could be used. 

 

0:20:03 – Kayla

Yeah. Because that’s how much of the space it took up until we moved into our next home. 

 

0:20:08 – Brian

Yeah so. 

 

0:20:09 – Kayla

So still laugh about that. It was beautiful, but we used two of the eight chairs. 

 

0:20:13 – Brian

You know, when we remodeled our house recently, I thought I had measured the room where we put the shelves of the library and I apparently I mismeasured and I got away with it. We have like a quarter of an inch. 

 

0:20:26 – Kayla

Oh, do we? I was aware of that. The furniture guy told on you. 

 

0:20:30 – Brian

Really, he did? I tipped him really well that day. 

 

0:20:35 – Kayla

He told on you. He said he’s been sweating buckets oh man. I thought yes. So we have a couple of air quotes “parenting stories,” our first attempt at parenting a pet. 

 

0:20:48 – Brian

We got this dog from the family. We went through this rescue and they. 

 

0:20:51 – Kayla

What they were doing is they were re-homing pets that needed to leave their current situation, so we adopted this adorable like four-year-old dog from the family. How long did we make it B?

 

0:21:06 – Brian

One day, we took him back to them the next day. 

 

0:21:09 – Kayla

Because he was so inconsolable and so we called the rescue and they’re like sure you can reach out to the family. They begged to get him back. They had so much regret over their decision to re-home him. The kids were so happy they were so happy to see us coming and we were so relieved because it was the worst night of our lives. He cried and howled all night long. 

 

0:21:35 – Brian

Another bad decision the Sanders made is we adopted a rabbit. 

 

0:21:39 – Kayla

Oh yeah, I don’t recommend this. No, when you live in an apartment. 

 

0:21:45 – Brian

It was not good your dad helped release him into the wild. Yes, so, not our finest moment. No, not our finest moment. So. 

 

0:21:57 – Kayla

Gladly. We waited a good 10 years before we got another pet and then to like set the record straight, we had that one for nearly 15 years, so yeah, this last story. 

 

0:22:07 – Brian

Okay, was this our first or second date? 

 

0:22:12 – Kayla

We were engaged. Oh, we had just gotten engaged. We were going on a date. 

 

0:22:19 – Brian

And you look at me as we’re leaving. I think your parents’ trailer and you said “do you like my skirt?” 

 

0:22:28 – Kayla

And this is the response I get. “I’m not a huge fan. The pattern looks like deck chair material. I’d change if I were you.” There are moments be when women don’t necessarily want complete honesty. This was a moment for you and yes, somehow here we are 30 years later. 

 

0:22:51 – Brian

Our whole life flashed before my eyes in that 30 seconds after I said it. I’m just going to say it we are. But here we are nearly 31 years later. 

 

0:23:00 – Kayla

Yeah, we’re on our 31st year, wow, and you have never, ever, ever criticized anything. I’ve worn since then, if you like it by it baby baby it’s so pretty. 

 

0:23:13 – Brian

Called my skirt, deck, chair material. Well, it was baby. It looked like a beach ball had been wrapped around you. That’s what it looked like it was the style back then? 

 

0:23:24 – Kayla

No, it wasn’t. Anyway, we hope you’ve had a little fun with these Two way. 

 

0:23:28 – Brian

My pink blanket and I didn’t like it Okay, we’re going to go here. 

 

0:23:32 – Kayla

No, we’re not. 

 

0:23:33 – Brian

No, we’re not no no, no, the good people. 

 

0:23:35 – Kayla

We are going to go here. She has got her finger up. I am telling this story. We were, so you asked for this. We were a month from getting married and we, of course, we had had like seven or eight wedding showers and we had been given some beautiful new linens, towels, blankets, all of it. I was at the new apartment putting together all of like the bedroom and everything like that. There was a blanket that you call it pink. It was really more of a light brown. It was so dirty. It used to be pink and the whole middle of the blanket was a hole. There was no middle, so I assumed. 

 

0:24:25 – Brian

I assumed. 

 

0:24:27 – Kayla

No, uh-uh. Either way, what you call light pink was so dirty, it was more of a brown color. 

 

0:24:33 – Brian

So what does Miss Sanders do? 

 

0:24:34 – Kayla

I threw it in the dumpster.

 

0:24:35 – Brian

And was I advised before my blanket? 

 

0:24:38 – Kayla

Fair enough, you weren’t. But nobody is going to say that I should not have gotten rid of the blanket. I could have washed it and patched it. It smelled. 

 

0:24:47 – Brian

It was horrible. Why didn’t I wash sheets? I’ve washed sheets. Maybe once a year I’d go out and buy new ones. 

 

0:24:55 – Kayla

Okay, we need to end this. Okay, that’s the story of the pink blanket. Very sad, and you had a beautiful new blanket to replace it yeah.

 

0:25:04 – Brian

And this bedspread and all these frou frou pillows and everything. 

 

0:25:08 – Kayla

Welcome to married life. 

 

0:25:10 – Brian

Okay, I love it. It’s gorgeous. Just don’t bring that beach ball stuff up into here, listen. Thanks for listening to this week’s episode of the Peas and Carrots Podcast. Hey, so far this past week we had like four winners, so all you got to do is answer a trivia question. 

 

0:25:28 – Kayla

Yes, if you will go to our website, look for the trivia button. Visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com, click that trivia button and answer this question. 

 

0:25:40 – Brian

How do you pursue rest for yourself? Do you wrap yourself in a pink blanket? Really, really. 

 

0:25:49 – Kayla

Just okay Again. Please visit the peasandcarrotspodcast.com website. Click that trivia button. No questions about pink blankets. Just how are you pursuing rest for yourself? You can search the Peas and Carrots Podcast wherever you get your podcasts, or visit our website. Again that is peasandcarrotspodcast.com.

 

0:26:11 – Brian

Thanks for listening and don’t forget to subscribe when you’re there. You can also follow us on Facebook and Instagram. 

 

0:26:19 – Kayla

Just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast. 

 

0:26:22 – Brian

I’m still a little bit bitter about that pink blanket. 

 

0:26:25 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Life’s not perfect. That’s why God gave us friends like Melody and Candi. Check out QuirksBumpsandBruises.com, or search Quirks, Bumps, and Bruises wherever you listen to podcasts. 

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Season 3, Episode 5: Make It Go Away

Make It Go Away - Episode Description

Join us on a heartfelt journey through our lives, where we start off with the whimsical confession of our Christmas trees overstaying their welcome into the new year. We’ll also touch on the early signs of spring amidst the fluctuating climate here in Blacksburg and share a personal update that’s as gritty as it gets–kidney stones. Listen in as we candidly discuss our aversion to the commercial pressures of Valentine’s Day and opt for simplicity in celebration. 

Then, get ready to dive into a thoughtful conversation on coping mechanisms as we discuss numbing agents of our own, and how we’re learning to find our joy and escape in Jesus instead. We laugh over our procrastination in taking down Christmas decorations and share an amusing mix-up involving Biofreeze and Febreze. As we discuss the rigors and rewards of a new gym routine, we also contemplate the peculiar, yet relatable habits surrounding snacking and grocery shopping. And if you’ve ever found yourself munching on movie theater popcorn outside the cinema, you’re in good company. So grab a snack (popcorn optional), settle in, and let’s navigate the beautiful messiness of life together, with a sprinkle of humor and a whole lot of heart.

Make It Go Away - Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders.

0:00:11 – Brian

Welcome to the Peas and Carrots Podcast. I’m Kayla and I’m Brian, and we’re also known as Peas and Carrots. There you go, I’m Carrots and I’m Peas. There you go. So we like to put a little butter in there, a little salt and pepper with oh do we? I do.

0:00:28 – Kayla

That’s a little creepy. Did we just cook ourselves?

0:00:30 – Brian

Well, that’s not what I was trying to say. Okay, okay, all right. What’s up in the world of Peas and Carrots?

0:00:39 – Kayla

We’re off the rails a little bit. Please don’t judge me. Okay what our Christmas trees are still up at home.

0:00:47 – Brian

Well, I’m confessing this to the world.

0:00:49 – Kayla

Okay but I think I’m ready to take one down.

0:00:55 – Brian

Which one upstairs?

0:00:56 – Kayla

Well, I just am. I just I’ve hit that point. It’s so peaceful in the mornings with well okay, at the very least, I think it’s time for the ornaments to come off. Okay, okay, we’ll have this conversation. Well, there’s a point that I’m confessing that because later on in the podcast I’m gonna share something else I’m gonna share that story.

0:01:15 – Brian

Yeah, okay, anyway.

0:01:17 – Kayla

Who are we rooting for this weekend? So, as we record this yes.

0:01:23 – Brian

There is a big game coming on Sunday, Thursday, before the big game who are you rooting for? I am cheering for the team from San Francisco. Brock Purdy. This is the quarterbacks name for.

0:01:40 – Kayla

We’re a house divided.

0:01:41 – Brian

Francisco Brock Purdy P. You are D why okay. He’s only making $175,000 this year as an NFL quarterback really to his mantra and I quote every time I Step on that field. I want to make much of him mmm and I’ve watched a bunch of interviews with him regarding his faith. Oh, wow and he’s the real deal. He isn’t just one of these guys that, like Joe’s attorney says I want to give glory to God Brock Purdy. Hmm has a real relationship, knows the gospel and knows his oh, my goodness.

0:02:26 – Kayla

Well, I was for the team from Kansas City because I have all these friends who are rooting for.

0:02:33 – Brian

You’ll probably win cuz any team my cheer for loses, so you know, there’s that. You’ve got what are gonna be our snacks.

0:02:38 – Kayla

Oh, don’t worry about that. We got to a down. Okay, yeah. But yeah, I have so many friends that are for Kansas City that I felt like I needed to fall in that. Kansas City friends, who that’s their team? I don’t know, people from Kansas City. But oh, Is this fake spring? What’s the temperature today?

0:02:57 – Brian

Today of the recording, I think it’s 62 62 degrees.

0:03:02 – Kayla

It’s glorious. We went for a walk yesterday. There are daffodils popping up.

0:03:07 – Brian

They’re always pretty. I mean, they haven’t bloomed yet.

0:03:10 – Kayla

So how many more winters Are?

0:03:12 – Brian

we going to have in Blacksburg before we? Are they daffodils or are they?

0:03:16 – Kayla

Well, there’s tulips as well. There’s both. So, yeah, there’s all kind of bulb flowers that are popping up. But here’s my question how many more winters in Blacksburg are we going to have to endure before real spring shows up? And if you live here, you know, am I right? We’re in fake spring.

0:03:35 – Brian

So I want to share something that is not on the list. Okay, I’ve either passed a stone, a kidney stone or we’re going through one.

0:03:45 – Kayla

Uh-huh. So, and you’re in very good spirits, I’ll give you that, so you’re kind of a pro at this, but I do feel bad for you.

0:03:52 – Brian

Well, I don’t want to be pro level, can I just oh you are, go back to the minor?

0:03:56 – Kayla

leagues. So, as this will air, it’s Valentine’s Day, which you should be very proud of me for even acknowledging that, because this is a random fact. What holiday can I not stand?

0:04:08 – Brian

Y’all. Miss Kayla hates Valentine’s Day. You hate it.

0:04:14 – Kayla

I do. I hate to even admit that, but I don’t like holidays that put so much pressure, and I just do feel sorry for people.

0:04:25 – Brian

Well, how do you feel about?

0:04:26 – Kayla

Christmas then, well, it’s its own thing, and I get it, but this one, that’s part of the reason.

0:04:32 – Brian

What.

0:04:33 – Kayla

People have just survived Christmas. Yeah, they’ve been recovering from whatever they’ve had to spend for that. And then here comes Valentine’s Day and flowers that cost $9.99 on February 10th.

0:04:46 – Brian

Cost $99.

0:04:47 – Kayla

Cost $99.99 on February 14th. I just don’t understand it, the pressure of having to convey your love to someone with a $99 bouquet of flowers. I like it Anyway. So what have I asked of you this year? What have I sworn you not to do?

0:05:04 – Brian

There’s no flowers, there’s no gift, and there’s no card and there’s to be no chocolate.

0:05:09 – Kayla

I just want to have a nice dinner at some point, maybe not on Valentine’s Day, because everyone else in the world will be doing that.

0:05:17 – Brian

I’ll cook you some popcorn and throw you a piece of beef jerky. How’s that?

0:05:21 – Kayla

Sounds good. Happy Valentine’s Day. Happy Valentine’s.

0:05:28 – Brian

Day Come to that N-U-M-B being numb to it. So we all have coping mechanisms, we have crutches.

0:05:43 – Kayla

Yeah, but they’re not always healthy.

0:05:45 – Brian

No, so we’re going to reveal some things about ourselves.

0:05:50 – Kayla

Yeah, we’re about to get really personal in here.

0:05:53 – Brian

That might shock you Probably not Well, probably not, but there you go.

0:05:59 – Kayla

But where did this come from? I read an article this week. It was fascinating and her honesty slays me?

0:06:06 – Brian

Is this the stuff you read at like 2 AM?

0:06:08 – Kayla

I don’t read it. 2 AM, you do.

0:06:11 – Brian

Oh, here we go.

0:06:12 – Kayla

A page that I follow. She shared that she gave up alcohol Christmas night. She laid there and realized what was one thing she could do different in 2024.

0:06:26 – Brian

That she decided to give up and she decided to give up alcohol.

0:06:31 – Kayla

This was the line that slayed me out of what she shared in the article that she wrote. She realized it stopped tasting like rosé and it started tasting a lot like relief.

0:06:43 – Brian

I don’t do alcohol. I don’t drink alcohol. Maybe a sip of champagne on the USE and we want to get this out of the way.

0:06:54 – Kayla

If any of what we are about to share is something that you do, but you do it in a healthy way, we’re not condemning you. That’s none of our business. And we are not telling you these things should be forbidden. So please hang with us.

0:07:08 – Brian

So I’m just going to get mine out of the way. I’m going to confess this up front and explain my why.

0:07:15 – Kayla

So, basically, what we’re about to share is some air quote habits or behaviors in our life that we felt perhaps we needed to reevaluate, and this has been a process. This isn’t something that we just decided yesterday.

0:07:30 – Brian

No.

0:07:31 – Kayla

So I’ll let you go first.

0:07:33 – Brian

Good, it’s been a journey for you. And I’m still on that journey.

0:07:37 – Kayla

Yeah.

0:07:38 – Brian

Food is my numbing mechanism. Like you actually quoted this lady that said, it stopped tasting like rosé and started tasting a lot like relief. Fried chicken stopped tasting like fried chicken and started tasting like relief. Comfort Tacos no longer tastes like tacos, they taste like relief. I could go through those cheesy fries from Outback don’t taste like cheesy fries, they taste like relief. Um, that’s what food is for me.

0:08:06 – Kayla

Would you say it was a security blanket?

0:08:08 – Brian

No, Well, maybe it. Here’s what I’m going to say about food. That’s getting real personal. Food has never rejected me. Food has never said I was a failure. Food has never condemned me. Food has never said you’re an idiot. Food has never said you could be better. Food has always been there and accepted me.

0:08:33 – Kayla

I think that’s what I was referring to about the security blanket it was. It was safe, it’s safe.

0:08:38 – Brian

Yes, and so I use that to numb those feelings and to spread on those insecurities and those hurts.

0:08:50 – Kayla

But a couple of years ago you actually realized what. What was it not?

0:08:53 – Brian

doing? Oh, it wasn’t doing. I mean it wasn’t doing it.

0:08:56 – Kayla

It wasn’t a permanent fix. Yeah it wasn’t.

0:08:58 – Brian

No, never is I struggle with it.

0:09:03 – Kayla

Yes, but well, it helps that you can’t eat anything anymore.

0:09:08 – Brian

Which my waistline would show that it does, but but I can’t eat a lot of fried. I did find that I can have Bojangles fried chicken. I’m just putting that out there, but it’s not a permanent fix and you have to keep going back to that. Well, and what I’m trying to learn is in those moments when I’m insecure, when I feel exposed, when I feel rejected, when I feel tossed aside and this isn’t by you, this is by the world or by some friends or whatever I need to sit there with that in that uncomfortable and look to Christ. That’s where I am in my journey.

Uh, at a recent gathering, uh, I always eat last because I believe that, like, leaders eat last. And when I got done, everybody had seated and there was no place for me to sit, so I had to go sit by myself, and that’s one of my biggest fears, biggest thing in the world. And yet you you actually know this Like, I will not like it for a part. You won’t go to a restaurant. I will not go to a restaurant. Yeah, order something in. I will not go because I don’t want people thinking well, look at him, he’s a loser. I can’t handle that because of some stuff that that, like I’ve been through, so I had to sit there. Now, uh, eventually a friend did come over and sit with me, but I think it was good because I had to sit there and in those moments I just had to pray and say Jesus, you are enough. This is not a reflection of my value or of love or of acceptance. This is a result of the number of tables and chairs in a room and I’m still not there, but that’s.

0:10:54 – Kayla

And you also realized that what was on your plate wasn’t going to change what you were feeling. Yeah, so, so, yeah, this is embarrassing to admit, but I will because I hope it will help someone.

I loved shopping, loved it. I found it to be a distraction. It netted me something fun. Um, I just loved it. I’ve always been the one that people send the target memes to and all the other fun memes just got one last week. But During COVID you watched this evolution I started to really examine my priorities and I sat with some really hard feelings that I realized I Would avoid dealing with hard things by oh well, let me just go shopping, let me go wander target. And again, if you do that and it’s just because You’ve got a three-hour break from your kids, you go right ahead. But I was doing it to avoid having to sit with my uncomfortable to face up to some things that were. I was in a very tough season personally and Then, during COVID, two truths became evident to me. We all needed a whole lot less than we thought we did.

0:12:12 – Brian

Hmm.

0:12:13 – Kayla

I mean, come on for real. Most of us lived in different tops but the same sweatpants for six days out of the week. I mean yeah.

But I also realized that that hit that I got from that shopping never lasted. Hmm, it was very short-lived. Sure, I would love that new cute throw pillow or I would love that new cute top, but within a week I was bored with it or I Was back to feeling what I was trying to avoid feeling. The other thing I realized I Could take the energy that I was funneling into shopping and start really focusing on my health, and At that time I came to you and I said I really would like to join your gym, which you were very shocked, but I found that to be a better use of the money and it meant that less stuff was coming into our house. So it was less in, less out, because as some stuff came in, other stuff went out to the thrift store.

And it was an aha moment for me mentally as well, because the less shopping I was doing meant the less stuff, and the less stuff meant the less clutter, and the less clutter meant the less anxious that I was. So it was kind of this whole evolution. And so the pandemic brought home to me the reality that less really was more, and and as I started to Literally work out some of my issues. I Could sit with some of what was going on inside and there’s nothing like a rowing machine to give you time to start processing some of the things that you’ve been running from.

0:14:00 – Brian

I’m gonna write down that you said that because I disagree, but go ahead so I Don’t know what yours is.

0:14:07 – Kayla

I mean, if we’re being honest with each other, which we are, we all have something or or have had something that we’re choosing to numb with yes and it can look like drinking, shopping, eating out, it can look like avoidance, it can look there’s a whole list of things that it can be.

But here’s what we both realized when any of this becomes a problem, when we’re using numbing to avoid dealing with something that we absolutely need to work through, when it’s an escape rather than confronting whatever it is that’s causing us pain or discomfort, that’s when we know that the habit may not be a good habit.

0:14:54 – Brian

So a thing for me is this, and I’m just going to confess this I enjoy food.

0:15:02 – Kayla

Sure, well, God meant for you too, he gave it to you.

0:15:05 – Brian

I enjoy it too much. What I’m trying to learn is how to enjoy Jesus. How do I find joy in Him? How do I allow Him to help me face those things? How do I? That’s all. And I know the Westminster Confession. I’ve read Piper. I’ve read all of them.

0:15:30 – Kayla

But food is something tangible. It’s something that you can literally grasp in your hands.

0:15:35 – Brian

Extra crispy KFC. Two breasts and two wings. I’m down for that. Yes, it makes me feel better.

0:15:40 – Kayla

Well, no, you’re actually not anymore because of your allergies, but yeah, so let’s end with this.

0:15:45 – Brian

I’d risk an epi-pin.

0:15:47 – Kayla

Please, if you’re listening to this, do not walk away feeling judged for your choices. If you choose to drink or you choose to shop, you choose to eat out, you choose to pursue a hobby, this is the caution we would give you. If the only reason you’re doing it is to run away from something, then maybe it’s not the good option for you. And if the choices that any of us are making have the potential to leave us financially strained or drowning, grateful this was not true for us. Legit, we had the means. It wasn’t that that was an issue. Reality comes in when, if anything we’re doing is causing strain or pressure for the rest of our family and for the rest of the situations we’re trying to embrace. Because I again, I see how much better a use of money it is for me to be part of a gym and I also see how much money we’re saving, and that is just an embarrassment all in itself.

0:16:50 – Brian

Well, there’s that. But, as she said, do not leave this today feeling guilty. If anything. We hope that our confession has helped you feel seen and that you’re not in this alone.

0:17:04 – Kayla

No.

0:17:05 – Brian

And we’re all just a hot mess trying to take the next step.

0:17:09 – Kayla

So Absolutely there you go.

0:17:11 – Brian

So are we going to get 12 piece on the way home? No, we’re not, ok. Well, ok, that was a quick answer.

0:17:19 – Kayla

So let’s do a few random moments from life with B and K. So that was very heavy. We want to end with something a little more fun. I am going to go back to what I confessed at the beginning, which is that we still have a Christmas tree upstairs. It’s a little one, y’all, and our big Christmas tree is still up downstairs. Please don’t send me hate mail.

0:17:41 – Brian

But in our home there’s a little window over the door and she can see out of that.

0:17:48 – Kayla

I can see all the neighbors houses.

0:17:50 – Brian

She can see all the neighbor houses around us. There might be one or two that still have what.

0:17:55 – Kayla

Well, there’s several, and it’s their business, but they still have their Christmas lights up outside.

0:18:01 – Brian

This is where I pick up the story this particular morning. I guess this hit her the wrong way. And we have an Alexa upstairs as well, uh huh. Well, miss Kayla, when she hits that top step walking down, she can look down. She sees these, all these different neighbors, and it’s February, whatever. And she’s like why do y’all still have your lights up? Don’t y’all know it’s February? Take your lights down. I can’t understand this. And just as she finished, Alexa said here are a few songs to help you calm down. I was gone, just dead.

0:18:42 – Kayla

God used Alexa to check me. I’m just saying I will never.

0:18:46 – Brian

here are a few songs to help you calm down, and she stopped going down the stairs. She turned around and Mind your business.

0:18:54 – Kayla

That’s exactly what she said to Alexa, but, lord, I’m sorry for judging when I too still have Christmas trees Inside, but, as a friend told me, mine aren’t visible. So there’s that, but it still doesn’t take away from the lesson. Okay, we were so sore after last week’s gym session.

0:19:13 – Brian

We’re doing this new routine at the gym and it’s killer.

0:19:16 – Kayla

But it’s good, we love our gym. We do our trainers are great guy. He is think he’s out to kill us. You declared on Saturday as we left the house to run errands, you said this Counts as our daily walk.

0:19:30 – Brian

Yes, because we’re supposed to do this 10-minute daily walk. Now we’re not in the gym and we were going, and I think we’re going in Target or somewhere and I said this gonna count as our 10-minute walk on through Target. I mean, I literally hurt last week.

0:19:43 – Kayla

Uh-huh, oh, I do today. So yeah, here we are.

0:19:48 – Brian

Speaking of sore, you still laugh at me and you still continue to confuse this.

0:19:56 – Brian

I still continue to mix up Biofreeze with Febreze.

0:20:00 – Kayla

Yes, so we may not have pain relief, but we will sure smell good. Well, they got this.

0:20:09 – Brian

Is it that apple vinegar thing I got? That’s really good. Is that what that is?

0:20:13 – Kayla

I don’t know. But, I really don’t want to use it for pain relief.

0:20:16 – Brian

Well yeah.

0:20:19 – Kayla

Does anyone else struggle with the reality that the version of you that grocery shops is Is not the same version of you when it comes time for a snack?

0:20:28 – Brian

Yes.

0:20:29 – Kayla

I find myself standing longingly staring into our pantry.

0:20:33 – Brian

Yes, and there’s nothing. I’ve been craving popcorn so bad, I don’t know why. Well, do you know? I read an article that there’s a percentage of the population, uh-huh that on their way home they will stop and movie theater and get pop, yeah and take it home. They won’t go see the movie.

0:20:52 – Kayla

Really that’s genius. No, it’s weird. You’re gonna pay twelve dollars for a bucket of pop voice cheaper than a movie. Well, I’m just saying okay, but.

0:21:05 – Brian

But there is something about movie theater popcorn.

0:21:07 – Kayla

Oh, there is.

0:21:08 – Brian

I mean it’s pretty good, but you get all that stuff in your teeth and everything. Have you ever read a book that was so deep and stretched you so much that you felt you should have a degree to finish it?

0:21:19 – Kayla

Yes, I feel like I deserve a seminary degree when I get done. Y’all, I am doing an amazing women’s study and I’m so thankful for these ladies and for our church, but, holy, wow, it’s a lot, and I feel like I should get a degree when I get done. Am I the only one? I mean this is? This is a book and a half. It’s good, it’s stretching me, but I got done with the third week and I looked at you and I said I want my degree now.

0:21:51 – Brian

I felt that way reading two books. One was the works of Jonathan Edwards, mmm. Oh my gosh, and then Karen Swallow prior wrote a book called on reading.

0:22:01 – Kayla

Well, yeah, you can’t read that one fast and I had to have a dictionary nearby.

0:22:07 – Brian

I love the book but, yeah, it hurt my head.

0:22:10 – Kayla

It made you think really hard.

0:22:12 – Brian

Yeah, let me think.

0:22:13 – Kayla

I love seeing you teach adults Sunday school yeah.

0:22:16 – Brian

I’m teaching the book of James and adults Sunday school. Let me just say this I feel like God’s using me again, that he hasn’t given up on this old boy.

0:22:26 – Kayla

You also love seeing what.

0:22:28 – Brian

I love seeing the Bible come alive. Yeah, people’s lives. There’s a it happened about a week ago or two weeks ago. He says don’t be hearers of the word only, but be doers. Yeah because if you’re here only, it leads to like Filthiness and wickedness. Well, one of those Greek words is a word that’s also used for like earwax in the Greek, and Lights went on everywhere people got. What James was saying is that you can’t hear because your mind’s full of other stuff and it’s just fun to see yeah the Bible Just come alive.

So, and I enjoy having you right there next, just right there next to me, yeah, answering questions and everything well, you’re the one answering questions.

0:23:16 – Kayla

But yeah, well, there you go. Well, no, you answer questions. Oh yeah, okay as of this recording this week We’ve had four people win mugs and a cute little sheet of what stickers she loves her so, yeah, so yes, if you would like to be one of those people this next week, go to our website, answer our trivia question and to do that, go to the peasandcarrotspodcast.com website. Click the trivia button. What is our question this week?

0:23:50 – Brian

Name a book you read that challenged you in a good way. So here’s the question: Name a book that challenged you in a good way and you can answer that, and win a mug and a pack of stickers.

0:24:01 – Kayla

Peasandcarrotspodcast.com you just click the trick the trivia button, you can search peas and carrots podcast. Wherever you get your podcasts or visit our website again.

0:24:14 – Brian

That’s peasandcarrotspodcast.com, hey, when you do, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast, and you can follow us on Facebook and Instagram.

0:24:24 – Kayla

Just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast.

0:24:27 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Life’s not perfect. That’s why God gave us friends like Melody and Candi. Check out QuirksBumpsandBruises.com, or search Quirks, Bumps, and Bruises wherever you listen to podcasts.

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