Season 3, Episode 11: Progress Over Perfection

Progress Over Perfection
Progress Over Perfection - Episode Description
Our studio is bursting with quirks and chuckles, and we, Brian and Kayla, can’t wait to bring you into the fold. Picture this: a Christmas tree and an Easter rabbit in a humorous standoff, a Star Wars pen collection growing faster than the Millennium Falcon can make the Kessel Run, and us – the couple who opts for a single entrée to avoid dozing off at the dinner table. But it’s not all giggles and themed mugs; we’re baring our souls too. Sit with us as we navigate the winding roads of healing and growth that follow life’s setbacks, drawing powerful parallels between bouncing back from personal struggles and recovering from major surgery. It’s an intimate look at how embracing change makes us tougher, wiser, and ready for the next chapter.
Then, buckle up for both laughter and learnings as we recount travel tales that veer off the beaten path. You’ll get our top tips to keep your travels smooth, including the lifesaving power of snacks and the art of staying zen amidst chaos. Stories of our own misadventures, like a treacherous hike at Nakalula Falls and a dental fiasco in Greece, will remind you to pack flexibility alongside your sense of humor. Share a laugh with us and pick up some travel wisdom that might just save your next vacation from going awry. And who knows? Your own travel tip could land you a cozy spot on our show – plus, some Peas and Carrots swag to boot.
Progress Over Perfection - Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 

 

0:00:11 – Brian

Welcome to the Peas and Carrots Podcast. I’m Kayla and I’m Brian. Hello to this week’s vegetable patch edition. Mm-hmm. And we’re surrounded now by like new critters. 

 

0:00:24 – Kayla

We are and we were gifted a mug, a new critters we are. And we were gifted a mug, a new mug. 

 

0:00:28 – Brian

Yeah, like a camp style mug. 

 

0:00:31 – Kayla

It’s very cute. 

 

0:00:32 – Brian

From Joy FM, one of the PAR radio stations. They did a Peas and Carrots edition mug. 

 

0:00:39 – Kayla

And we have these new mic flags. What in the world does that mean? 

 

0:00:43 – Brian

These go on the end of the microphone so that when we do pictures or video or something like that, you’ll see the logo. 

 

0:00:51 – Kayla

I see a little pea and a carrot looking at me, so it’s very cute. 

 

0:00:55 – Brian

Very, what Cute. You love cute stuff, don’t you? I do. 

 

0:00:58 – Kayla

So for those keeping score, our Christmas tree did not come down. I’m okay with that well, it was a very cold and dreary week so it kind of worked out it was a dark and stormy night. 

 

It worked out in our favor, but we ended up. We had a very busy weekend last weekend and we were traveling for the first half of the week, so I just never got to it. And and now the Easter rabbit is staring at the tree. So I think we have a showdown. Coming Easter rabbit. I have this stuffed. Well, it’s not really stuffed. 

 

0:01:34 – Brian

I’ve always called him the Easter bunny. 

 

0:01:36 – Kayla

Well, he’s a rabbit, the one I’m talking about. It’s the one that I got before Pier 1 closed. 

 

0:01:42 – Brian

He sits on the I know what he’s talking about before Pier 1 closed. 

 

0:01:45 – Kayla

He sits on the. I know what you’re talking about. He’s got attitude, he’s so cute, but he’s staring at the tree. So yeah, anyway, easter and Christmas are colliding at our house. This is where we are. We’re just a hot mess. You have a new obsession. 

 

0:01:57 – Brian

I do. 

 

0:01:59 – Kayla

It’s fun. 

 

0:01:59 – Brian

It is. My executive assistant, Adam, got me a Darth Vader pin for Christmas, and, as you know, I’m a Star Wars fan, so he told me where he got it from. So now I have a Kylo Ren pin, an R2-D2 pin as well, and there’s a Yoda one as well, so I’m probably going to order that one soon as well. Hilarious, they write so well, do they? Yeah, they write well, so I’m probably going to order that one soon as well. Hilarious they write so well do they, yeah, they write well. 

 

0:02:28 – Kayla

B. 

 

0:02:29 – Brian

Yes. 

 

0:02:30 – Kayla

We have become that couple. 

 

0:02:32 – Brian

In what way? 

 

0:02:34 – Kayla

What do we do when we go to a restaurant, we now share one entree. 

 

0:02:37 – Brian

Yes, we most certainly do. I’m not ashamed of it. And if it’s dinner, we definitely do, because we can’t go to bed on a full stomach, no, and we go to bed so early now that yeah, I went to bed at 7:45 last night and I fell asleep, napped for an hour and a half in the chair, hour and a half before that. 

 

0:02:55 – Kayla

So yeah, again, it’s been a busy week, but we are those people. We used to make fun of those people. 

 

0:03:01 – Brian

You know that right, yes, so here we are, the knw cafeteria. So yeah, I mean I don’t. This is like I’m not ashamed. I don’t know about y’all, but I’m not ashamed. I thought I had healed from that. I thought I was over it yeah, yeah, oh. 

 

0:03:23 – Kayla

I recently found myself dealing with a situation that just shook me. It left me questioning so many things and it was a trigger and I know everyone throws that word around but I found myself in a situation that just upended me. And yet here was my takeaway my initial reaction was not the greatest, but I found myself processing and responding, ultimately, in healthier ways than my old self would have. I got there a lot faster than I used to, so there were a few things that I realized, and you and I started talking about this because we’ve both had some hard situations lately. And do you ever feel like you kind of want to climb out of your own skin and just observe and watch how you’re doing with certain things? 

 

0:04:19 – Brian

If it helped me lose weight. 

 

0:04:20 – Kayla

I’d do that. 

 

0:04:22 – Brian

Go ahead. 

 

0:04:24 – Kayla

But the first thing that I realized is healing is not linear. It’s natural to experience setbacks up and down and it’s a choice to just not go back to the old ways or to default to the negative thinking. But yes, it is very it’s like up, down down two steps forward, one steps back. So that’s the first thing I realized. 

 

0:04:50 – Brian

What I liken that to is that consider having major surgery, that you have some major surgery for something and yet the doctor says you will recover, yeah, okay. Well, whenever I hear recover, I’m thinking I’m going to feel exactly the way before. I ever had this problem. Well, that may not be the case, because you may leave with a limp, you can still walk, you can still do it, and the healing works. Or you may need some rehab, or just some rehab, yeah, but you may not return to your former self. But you’re able to move forward. And in that example, what I like to think is that you probably leave tougher. Yeah, you probably leave wiser. 

 

0:05:35 – Kayla

Because you have to be a little bit scrappy in the recovery.

 

0:05:39 – Brian

Yeah, so for me in that is, we have this false thing that because I’ve been through this, okay, I want to go back to what life was like before that happened. You’re not going to be able to go through that at all. Okay, for example, whenever my dad died, whenever your dad died, you can’t go back to life before that happened. You can’t have that kind of peace again, but you can have a new life. 

 

0:06:09 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:06:11 – Brian

And a life will actually grow up around that grief. That’s just an example. I’m using. 

 

0:06:16 – Kayla

That’s good. I’ve also been reminded that I’m not responsible all the time for what happens, because there are things outside of our control, but I am responsible for how I react in those situations. That is on me and that’s hard because we’re all human and sometimes that looks like we want to react in anger or we want to react in. 

 

0:06:46 – Brian

I would react in anger. 

 

0:06:48 – Kayla

Or we want justice or we want to have our say, and that’s not always the way it should be. Sometimes, the best thing we can do is just sit with it and ultimately ask God what are you trying to teach me here? What is it about me that you’re trying to grow in this process? 

 

0:07:10 – Brian

That makes me think of Joseph in the Old Testament. He was thrown into a pit sold into slavery. He was accused of a sexual crime that he didn’t commit, forgotten about in prison, finally got out, became governor of Egypt. 

 

0:07:27 – Kayla

And this was all after his brother sold him. 

 

0:07:29 – Brian

Yeah, this is all after yeah, he had such a smooth ride. Yeah, Got off on a great foot there. But throughout that whole time, when you read it, Joseph kept saying but the Lord is with me. 

 

0:07:42 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:07:43 – Brian

And I don’t know I’m going to be honest. I don’t know if I could say that I’m just being brutally honest. 

 

0:07:50 – Kayla

No, because I’d be like God where are you? 

 

0:07:52 – Brian

Yes. 

 

0:07:53 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:07:54 – Brian

That’s a faith, but at the same time, I also believe this that Joseph, while he’s in that pit, while he’s in that prison, the Lord would give grace for you to believe that, for you to trust in that. 

 

0:08:10 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:08:11 – Brian

So that’s where I am. So there’s a truth here. Joseph is a good reminder that God will use our mess and he’s not abandoned us. It may not feel like he’s there. 

 

0:08:24 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:08:26 – Brian

But he’s there. Therefore, think about this how many different things did Joseph have to go through before he felt healed, before he felt delivered? 

 

0:08:37 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:08:38 – Brian

And all that stuff he was going through. It was equipping him, getting him ready for what was coming. 

 

0:08:42 – Kayla

That’s right. Yeah Well, it made him a heck of a leader one day. 

 

0:08:45 – Brian

It did, yeah, it did. 

 

0:08:47 – Kayla

Another one for me. I can choose not to be defined by what is happening. 

 

0:08:54 – Brian

I don’t really want to talk about that. 

 

0:08:55 – Kayla

Rejection does not make me a reject. Being overlooked does not make me invisible. Making others feel small does not make me bigger. Make me bigger. Those are all truths that when we’re going through a hard situation, it’s good to reject those voices or those patterns of behavior that well, if I could just feel better about myself. At what cost are we going to do that? I think that’s the question we have to ask ourselves. And it’s hard. 

 

0:09:31 – Brian

You said I can be rejected, but I’m not a rejection. 

 

0:09:37 – Kayla

A reject yeah. 

 

0:09:38 – Brian

Reject. There’s a meme that keeps coming up on my Instagram and I haven’t shared it and it’s very personal to me. I don’t know how this meme keeps finding me. It says you have fat, you are not fat, and I’ve seen this like two or three times now and I get so emotional when I see it. 

 

0:10:03 – Kayla

Yeah. Because, you fear that. That’s how you are defined. 

 

0:10:07 – Brian

Oh yes, a hundred percent. Because whenever I walk into a room, the first thing you see about me is my size. Now, at the same time, you’re talking about rejection. This is hard for me, because I struggle with acceptance and rejection. That’s a big deal for me as an Enneagram too. A big deal for me as an Enneagram too. So I try to stay grounded, and I mean this because I remind myself that Jesus loves me, Jesus accepts me, and that you, Miss Kayla, you love me and that you have accepted me. 

 

0:10:41 – Kayla

And the truth is so do many others. But when you’re struggling with something that’s kind of kicked you on the back of your heels, it’s hard to believe that. Yes, the last one for me is progress over perfection. I live by the once. I know better, do better mindset, and as God reveals areas to me that I still need to work some more in it’s on me to embrace that, but also to accept that the truth is I’m created in his image. He loves me. He knows the things that I’m going to need some pruning or some time, and it doesn’t take anything away from how he sees me and how valued I am by him, from how he sees me and how valued I am by him. 

 

When I need to learn that lesson for the 10th or the 20th time or I regress to something that I thought that I had outgrown, it’s hard for me to forgive myself. When I do go back to either a pattern of behavior or a mindset where I’m believing all those worst like tapes running through my head. Well, you should have figured this out by now. You should have grown in this. This shouldn’t bother you anymore. This shouldn’t be something that you struggle with. God’s in the midst of all that, and there’s something he’s still wanting me to learn, and that’s why he keeps presenting these situations for me. 

 

0:12:13 – Brian

I struggle with perfection in certain areas, like whenever I speak before people. I want to be perfect. I don’t want to stutter, I want to have all the right points, and sometimes I’ll get trapped within my own personality, like I want to share a joke or something like that and that can derail me and that will beat me up. I want to be perfect when it comes to food, but I love pepperoni, so that gets me in trouble. 

 

0:12:46 – Kayla

You are brutal to yourself if you make a mistake during the day, like if you feel like you mis-stepped with a team member. 

 

0:12:54 – Brian

I feel like I’ve disappointed them and OK, this goes back to this, and now they’re not going to accept me, they’re going to reject me and ultimately they could leave the organization, and I’m trying hard to lay that expectation down. 

 

0:13:08 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:13:08 – Brian

Because it does suffocate me. And the bottom line there is remembering that we don’t have that expectation down. 

 

0:13:11 – Kayla

Yeah, because it does suffocate me, and the bottom line there is remembering that we don’t have that much control. God is ultimately sovereign over all of this. 

 

0:13:19 – Brian

That got said. You’re 100% right. Why do you have to be so smart and be so wise? 

 

0:13:26 – Kayla

Oh, I wish, oh, you are, you are. So there we go. Just some thoughts on if there’s something in your life that you’re struggling with and you feel like it’s just a broken record and you keep having to face this again and again, you keep having to revisit this hard situation, look back at how a former version of you would have dealt with it and see even the incremental ways that God is working in and through you. 

 

0:13:59 – Brian

Very powerful. Before we get started on this next segment, I just want to paint a picture for folks to, here we go. 

 

0:14:13 – Kayla

I just want to paint a picture for folks behind Miss Kayla. 

 

0:14:14 – Brian

There’s a table what in the world? 

 

0:14:16 – Kayla

and there are one two, three, you have four Godzillas sitting there are four Godzillas and there’s two or three more in my office. 

 

0:14:21 – Brian

I need to bring over this is out of control, but this is what a podcast studio should look like no, it should not yes and then behind her, against the wall, is Abraham L… 

 

0:14:30 – Kayla

It’s a real mix match of things in here. 

 

0:14:34 – Brian

I’ve got. 

 

0:14:34 – Kayla

Darth Vader to my left. 

 

0:14:37 – Brian

Wow, and then here on the studio console. 

 

0:14:40 – Kayla

Apparently, my only contribution is a Peas and Carrots stuffy, so.

 

0:14:48 – Brian

Bitter party of one. Your table is ready, anyway. Party of one. Here’s ready. Anyway, party of one. Here we are okay. 

 

0:14:53 – Kayla

So I, just now, I’m creeped out by what’s behind me he’s not gonna bother you he’s. He’s a titan. He saves, oh my gosh. Okay. So here we are our best travel tips and a couple of travel stories. So this will be fun. Um, it’s getting close to you. There’s spring break trips. It’s that time of year where people are going to start planning their summer vacation. So we thought we would share with you just a few things we’ve learned as a couple, and, of course, we’re being self-deprecating, so just bear with us. 

 

0:15:28 – Brian

But, for example, you need to accept that one of you likes to arrive at the airport three hours before the flight and the other one doesn’t mind getting there one hour before. So go ahead and accept that you’re going to get there Three hours before yes, you’re welcome. 

 

0:15:46 – Kayla

Never missed a flight because of me. 

 

0:15:47 – Brian

We live with an airport that has six gates. I don’t care, six Uh-huh. Never missed a flight because of me. We live with an airport that has six gates. Don’t care, six Uh-huh. We could get there 45 minutes before the flight and we’d be fine. 

 

0:15:58 – Kayla

So that leads to my next tip Pack snacks, because nothing says a bad travel day, like two hangry people who are likely also tired because one of them insisted on that three-hour pre-flight window. So pack snacks. 

 

0:16:17 – Brian

I’m a snack fan, you know. So yeah, crackers, that kind of stuff I’m good, and usually we’re there. So early in the morning that the little store, the little place isn’t open yet. Not that I’m angry about that. 

 

0:16:28 – Kayla

I’m a little sassy about this. 

 

0:16:29 – Brian

Okay, I’m not. You were going after Godzilla earlier. Oh my gosh, there it is there. If I can get one of those a day, I consider that a win, a successful day for the day. I can go home. I can go home all right. 

 

0:16:44 – Kayla

What would you say is your next tip? 

 

0:16:46 – Brian

okay, for me, my tip would be don’t create extra stress. Be the calm one. 

 

0:16:53 – Kayla

What does that mean? Tread carefully. 

 

0:16:59 – Brian

One of you is probably going to worry about everything. Is the gate going to change, is the plane going to be on time, will we land there on time? And your point I’m giving out a travel tip, okay, okay. So one of you will probably be worried about everything, the other one of you. You need to be calm and project that and that everything will be okay. And even if it’s not, what can you change about it? And you might get there a little bit later. So to me, that kind of helps balance things out. Okay, that’s my tip. 

 

0:17:35 – Kayla

Which lends to what you were also about to share, which is another good one Leverage your strengths, and that’s kind of what you were hinting at. Who can keep up with the details? That would be me we’re not naming names, oh, as if we weren’t with the. Don’t create stress. And who can weave in spontaneity and fun? Because you do. Sometimes you just need to chill out and there are things again. Wow, there’s a lot about control in this episode, but there are things that you can control and there are things you can’t. So one of you needs to keep up with the time of the flights and all that jazz, but one of you needs to make sure that you’re having fun along the way. So there we go. 

 

0:18:23 – Brian

For this is my final tip Go somewhere you love Now. I don’t mind trying a new adventure. That’s fine, but be comfortable with wherever you’re going to go. 

 

0:18:31 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:18:32 – Brian

Now we have changed our plans because, after we thought about it, we’re like, we’re not. 

 

0:18:36 – Kayla

There’s a lot going on in the world. We were actually we’ve shared in another podcast we were going to go to Italy this summer. After some discussion and just looking at well, first of all, some things going on in life around us and then things going on in the world around us, we opted to stay in the United. States this summer. So yeah, so yeah. Make sure that you’re both on the same page with your travel plans. Which lends us to a couple of stories. 

 

0:19:06 – Brian

A couple of stories. There was a concert series that would always show up in Gadsden, Alabama. I’m a big Southern Gospel music guy. There’s two groups Gold City and then the Kingsman. I’m a huge Kingsman fan. 

 

0:19:20 – Kayla

And we would go for their reunion. 

 

0:19:22 – Brian

Yes, we would go there for that, and there’s a place there called. 

 

0:19:27 – Kayla

Nakalula Falls. It’s beautiful. 

 

0:19:29 – Brian

It is, and it’s named after an Indian girl. 

 

0:19:32 – Kayla

Yeah, there’s this whole story. There’s a whole story there.

 

0:19:35 – Brian

But you can go hiking down to Noccalula Falls. We were told it was a moderate hike. 

 

0:19:43 – Kayla

Well, their definition of a moderate hiking trail does not match ours, because we nearly died. 

 

0:19:49 – Brian

Coming back up that. 

 

0:19:50 – Kayla

We got to the bottom it wasn’t bad. 

 

0:19:52 – Brian

Oh, it was too coming back up that. 

 

0:19:55 – Kayla

We got to the bottom. Going down wasn’t bad. Oh it was too. 

 

0:19:58 – Brian

But coming back up, but getting back up from I thought y’all were going to leave me down there. 

 

0:20:00 – Kayla

Listen, if they’d had cell phones back then, we’d have been texting somebody and saying send a helicopter. 

 

0:20:06 – Brian

Because it was rough, it was hot. 

 

0:20:08 – Kayla

Yes. 

 

0:20:09 – Brian

Oh, I think we have a picture of us coming up. Oh, hot, yes, oh, I think we have a picture of us coming up. 

 

0:20:12 – Kayla

Oh my gosh, yeah, it was not a good and y’all, this was back in the 90s and some girl had the idea to wear her denim overalls and I was dying by the time we got back to the top. 

 

0:20:23 – Brian

So then there was a time that we took a trip to Turkey, to the seven churches of the Revelation, uh-huh. On the way back, maybe was it to Greece or to Turkey. 

 

0:20:34 – Kayla

It was to Greece. This was when we went to Greece. 

 

0:20:37 – Brian

So we’re coming back from Greece on the plane and I look at you and your mouth is swollen. 

 

0:20:42 – Kayla

Like a chipmunk. 

 

0:20:43 – Brian

I said baby, are you okay? You’re like I’m hurting. 

 

0:20:46 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:20:47 – Brian

And on the flight from Greece to back to new Orleans, 14 hours. 

 

0:20:54 – Kayla

The dentist told me the next day that due to the change in pressure on the plane, an already aggravated wisdom tooth it caused a reaction. And it was impacted and it got very angry and so my entire jaw swelled. We got very angry and so my entire jaw swelled. We got home Sunday. I was at the dentist on Monday and on Wednesday I had all of my wisdom teeth out, so it was quite an adventure. 

 

0:21:22 – Brian

It was yeah, and it was. 

 

0:21:24 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:21:25 – Brian

I guess we’re scaring our people with our travel stories here. 

 

0:21:28 – Kayla

No, I mean, it was good. 

 

0:21:30 – Brian

You got to be flexible because stuff’s going to happen. That’s right, and remember this that whatever does happen, it will create a great story. 

 

0:21:38 – Kayla

Oh, absolutely. It’s very random, but anytime we mentor a young couple, the one thing we tell them about your wedding is something’s going to go wrong that day. 

 

0:21:49 – Brian

But you’re going to laugh about it later. 

 

0:21:51 – Kayla

It’s going to be the thing that you remember and you will laugh about it for years to come. So, as you are making your travel plans, just prepare for something to go sideways and just have fun with it. 

 

0:22:05 – Brian

I remember one time at Disney we were down there and we saw this family, probably five or six of them, leaving the hotel and they’re like are y’all ready to go to the happiest place on earth? And all the little kids. 

 

0:22:16 – Kayla

Everybody’s smiling, everybody’s smiling. 

 

0:22:18 – Brian

The girls are in their little princess outfits and we see them, I guess, four or five hours later at a Disney park and there’s a total meltdown. 

 

0:22:29 – Kayla

And it’s the adults having a meltdown, not the kids. The dad is losing it. 

 

0:22:33 – Brian

The dad says this is not the happiest. I mean he’s having a fit. We just kept on walking. 

 

0:22:39 – Kayla

We just kept laughing. 

 

0:22:40 – Brian

Dad needed a nap. Yeah, that would have been good. Hey, thanks for listening to this week’s episode, and you could win a peas and carrots coffee mug and Miss Kayla’s favorite, the stickers. A pack of stickers. Yeah so, but you have to answer a trivia question correctly, so you have to go to our website go to peasandcarrotspodcast.com. 

 

0:23:04 – Kayla

Look for the trivia button, click that and here’s what we want to know. Okay, what is a travel tip that you would share with us? Because I know there are many, many more. We did not share all of them, but what would you share with us and we’ll share that on a future podcast. 

 

0:23:23 – Brian

So what’s your travel tip? If you answer that question, you simply go to our website. 

 

0:23:28 – Kayla

Peasandcarrotspodcast.com 

 

0:23:30 – Brian

And you click on the trivia button, answer that question. When you do, we’ll send you a mug and some cute stickers. 

 

0:23:37 – Kayla

You can search Peas and Carrots Podcast wherever you get your podcasts, or visit our website at peasandcarrotspodcast.com. When you do, please don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast. 

 

0:23:47 – Brian

You can also follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast. I love all the Godzillas behind me. 

 

0:23:54 – Kayla

Oh my gosh. 

 

0:23:55 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Life’s not perfect. That’s why God gave us friends like Melody and Candi. Check out QuirksBumpsandBruises.com, or search Quirks, Bumps, and Bruises wherever you listen to podcasts. 

 

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Season 3, Episode 10: Biggest Fan

Biggest Fan - Episode Description

Join us this week on Peas and Carrots Podcast for a heartwarming and hilarious journey through the daily dance of our lives together. We share the ins and outs of trying to stick to new habits and routines, from daily trackers to a clever snack bucket system that keeps us on the path to healthier choices. Laugh along as we confess to the quirks in our habit-maintaining strategies and reveal our weekend plans to finally take down our Christmas tree.

We open up about the strength of support and encouragement in a marriage, emphasizing the need for both partners to be each other’s biggest fans. As we chat, you’ll discover the humor and humility in swapping household roles and the comedic results that can ensue. Our conversation is an ode to the idea that being there for each other through thick and thin fortifies a relationship, especially when facing the trials of everyday life. So tune in to hear how we navigate these dynamics with love, laughter, and a touch of grace.

In this installment, we also share some interesting facts about ourselves, discussing everything from the trivial frustrations of ‘reply all’ emails to the more profound personal struggles like dealing with nightmares. We reflect on the ways we each show up in the world, hiding our vulnerabilities behind loudness or stoicism. We’ll also have a few laughs as we share some of our comical quirks. So, grab your headphones, settle in, and let’s share life from our piece of the vegetable patch.

Biggest Fan - Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 

 

0:00:11 – Kayla

Welcome to the Peas and Carrots Podcast. 

 

0:00:13 – Brian

I’m Brian and I’m Kayla, and thanks for being here this week. Right before, I mean just 10 seconds ago, before I press this button to record…

 

0:00:21 – Kayla

Uh-huh. 

 

0:00:22 – Brian

We were having a marital moment.

 

0:00:28 – Kayla

It wasn’t a big deal. When we test the microphones. I always say hello there, and you always growl and say mic check one, two right so I got a little sideways and said what is wrong with me saying hello there? So I admit I just got a lesson as to why the mic check one. Two is important is to make sure that my p’s are not popping well, and also it’s so my t’s don’t sound like and so it’s a long still think I should be able to say hello there. I’ll tell you what baby? 

 

you say whatever so anyway, hello there um, I’ll tell you what baby you say, whatever you want. 

 

0:01:06 – Brian

So anyway, hello there. Y’all see what she did there, don’t you? 

 

0:01:11 – Kayla

How are we doing with our new habits? We’re keeping a daily tracker. 

 

0:01:15 – Brian

We’ve changed the way we grocery shop. I did great during February. It’s March, whatever, and I haven’t. I got to copy that over. 

 

0:01:22 – Kayla

Have you even created it? No, there’s only one more week of March. 

 

0:01:30 – Brian

I’ll start in April. Oh, I forgot all about that. I even have a little daily reminder, and he hasn’t asked no he hasn’t asked. Well then, why am? 

 

0:01:39 – Kayla

I filling this out because I haven’t missed a day. Okay, technically I think I missed yesterday. 

 

0:01:45 – Brian

Okay, see now. This is a perfect illustration of the difference between B and K. 

 

0:01:49 – Kayla

K is very detailed, and that is what I hoped was going to come out here. K is very detailed you seriously have not done March at all. I’ve not copied that over yet and Jesse has not asked. 

 

0:02:00 – Brian

No, because I’m killing myself in there. 

 

0:02:03 – Kayla

You are. We’ll come back to that, but. 

 

0:02:06 – Brian

I’ve not kept up with a single day. 

 

0:02:08 – Kayla

See, I guess we should explain what this is. In the morning we have certain habits that we can choose, like I am choosing to drink 20 ounces of pure water before 10 am, and then I’m choosing to do that again between 10 and 2. And then after 4, I am weaving in some like healthy vitamins. I’m choosing to do that again between 10 and 2, and then after 4,. I am weaving in some healthy vitamins. I’m journaling. I’m reading one chapter a day for leadership or personal growth. 

 

0:02:34 – Brian

What are you journaling? 

 

0:02:35 – Kayla

You just journal your thoughts. I keep a gratitude journal. I sometimes write down thoughts about the day I ain’t got time for that. Well, obviously you ain’t got time to fill out a habit tracker. 

 

0:02:48 – Brian

Well, mine had. I can’t remember what mine had on it. It was like drink water, but I can’t. 

 

0:02:55 – Kayla

But we do like a weekly snack budget or bucket, sorry, not well, we do budget for it, but we keep a snack bucket. We keep a fruit bucket, budget for it, but we keep a snack bucket. We keep a fruit bucket. It’s just weaving in some new habits so that if we are hungry you will go get a fruit bowl instead of we don’t keep crackers and chips and it’s very sad our pantry is very sad so, but our fridge is very happy, well, so yeah, what are we doing this weekend? 

 

0:03:28 – Brian

Oh Well, I know that this is so if people need to feel better about themselves oh. Oh, we’re taking down the Christmas tree. 

 

0:03:36 – Kayla

We are. 

 

0:03:38 – Brian

But I still like it being out. 

 

0:03:39 – Kayla

Well, it’s a winter tree. We turned it into a winter, but it’s spring. It’s officially spring. 

 

0:03:45 – Brian

I’m in a hoodie today. 

 

0:03:46 – Kayla

It is cold outside, but still Okay. So it’s coming down. For those of you who may feel like you’re behind in life, you’re not. 

 

0:03:54 – Brian

I’ll get to see the right corner of the TV for the first time in like 120 days. 

 

0:03:59 – Kayla

That’d be pretty awesome For the record. You are the one that asked me to leave the tree up. I am you. You are the record. 

 

0:04:04 – Brian

You are the one that asked me to leave the trio. I am, you are. I don’t mean I can’t complain about it. Just because I like it doesn’t mean I’m not going to complain about it. 

 

0:04:10 – Kayla

So there was a moment this morning. 

 

0:04:12 – Brian

Here we go. 

 

0:04:15 – Kayla

You have really I’ve got to brag on you. You have really stepped up with your workouts. You braved going to our trainer and telling him I need more, I need more intensity. 

 

0:04:25 – Brian

I’m down like 104 pounds you are. I’m down another pant size, but there was a very funny moment this morning. I’m on this exercise bike. I normally do like two miles and I’m at like 40 RPM. Okay, and that’s comfortable for me, I’ll do that. Well, he’s been challenging me to like really step up the pace. 

 

0:04:47 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:04:48 – Brian

So I went walking and I walked a mile and I cut six minutes off my one minute mile. Then I got on that bike and he’s like all right, let’s just crank it up. Well, I went as hard as I could. I had that mug up to like 54, 55 RPM and I went like over half a mile, like 0.6, almost overheated and I used that phrase. 

 

0:05:11 – Kayla

And this is how she, You’re not a car Well. 

 

0:05:18 – Brian

I started seeing stars. That’s the only phrase I could come up with. Overheated. Well yes, I mean that’s the best word I could come up with overheated. Well, yes, I mean that’s the best word I could come up with. And so I crawled off that bike and I’m sitting there on the box and Jesse, our trainer, comes up. He says you OK? I said no, I almost overheated. Then he got tickled and started laughing at me and that kind of stuff. But it’s working. I’ll say that I mean. 

 

0:05:42 – Kayla

You’re doing great. In all seriousness, you are pushing yourself so hard. 

 

0:05:47 – Brian

As are you and I can see the results. 

 

0:05:50 – Kayla

I really can. You’re feeling good about yourself. You had to buy some new blue jeans. 

 

0:05:55 – Brian

And a new belt. 

 

0:05:56 – Kayla

Even suspenders weren’t cutting it anymore. 

 

0:05:58 – Brian

So and your clothes are looking great, I mean you always do look classy. 

 

0:06:05 – Kayla

Oh, you’re very kind, but I did have to go down a size in all my pants. 

 

0:06:10 – Brian

And yeah. 

 

0:06:11 – Kayla

So, Finally from our cabbage patch. 

 

0:06:15 – Brian

Can I just say something? I am proud of myself, I’m proud of you, but y’all, we can’t walk or move in the evenings. Heating pads and Advil, and the next morning is just awful. 

 

0:06:26 – Kayla

We just grunt and groan. 

 

0:06:27 – Brian

Snap, crackle, pop when you get up. 

 

0:06:31 – Kayla

Many have asked. 

 

0:06:33 – Brian

Yes. 

 

0:06:34 – Kayla

How is my hip doing, and thank you to all who have asked. I can tell you when a front’s coming, so I do still have some fluid on my hip. It’s not as large, it’s not as pronounced, I guess, is the word I’m looking for. That’s a good word. And sitting for long periods is not as painful as it was. But I’m not ready to sign up for a marathon just yet. But hey, guess what it’s going to rain tomorrow. My hip tells me. 

 

0:07:05 – Brian

Kayla “the weathervane” Sanders. You had a conversation with a friend the other night about supporting one another in like ministry, because her and her husband are in ministry and we’re in ministry together, and that’s what led to this topic. Okay, yeah. So from there, why don’t you kind of ease us into this topic a little bit? 

 

0:07:34 – Kayla

Well, you and I have had this conversation several times over the last few months, but it did come up and it got me to thinking. What does it look like to support each other and to show up for each other in a relationship? Now, yes, this can be friendship, this can be family, this can be marriage. We are going to spend a good portion of the time talking about marriage, because we’re talking about B and K and how we do this for each other, or I guess I should say pea and carrot. There we go, but okay, it feels really weird to refer to yourself as vegetable. But anyway, what we’ve come to realize is that we are each other’s biggest fan, and so we want to unpack that and spend a little time For me, one of the first things I want to share I could not have navigated the career that I’ve had without your full and unwavering support. 

 

0:08:35 – Brian

And you’ll always have it, always. I feel like that’s part of the reason why God made me. That’s my role as a husband. That’s what I’m supposed to do. I’m supposed to cheer you, I’m supposed to support you. So, yeah, you will always have it For me. I could not be the leader I am without your willingness to be a sounding board and to hold a mirror up to me to show me who I really am, because I am very naive. I believe the best about people and I believe the best about me, and that’s part of my broken. So I need you to hold up a mirror sometimes. Say B, do you see this? 

 

0:09:17 – Kayla

Yeah, that also comes with caution, though. There are times when, as a spouse, if your person is really struggling, that may not be the time to hold up the mirror, just even if you know that there’s something that needs to be addressed, as with all things, kind of read the room on when you might need to. I did not say that, but I do try to be very careful. If you’ve had a really tough week and it’s come with a lot of hits, I’m probably not going to like pile on at that moment. 

 

0:09:54 – Brian

So pile on spaghetti and meat sauce. 

 

0:09:58 – Kayla

We just had lunch, but does that matter? We’re no, it’s time. 

 

0:10:02 – Brian

We’re hungry all the time now. 

 

0:10:05 – Kayla

This may be an unpopular opinion, but neither of our careers is superior to the other. We aren’t threatened by how God’s using the other or blessing the other, and there have been seasons where it feels like God has given a bounty to you in what you’re doing. And then there have been seasons where I’ve been the receiver of good gifts and we’re not the couple that one outshines the other. 

 

0:10:37 – Brian

So, building on that, let me say this we are each other’s advocates. 

 

0:10:40 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:10:41 – Brian

We don’t compete, you know. 

 

0:10:44 – Kayla

I am your biggest cheerleader and you are mine. 

 

0:10:46 – Brian

Yes, so let me so let me say this. It’s a huge flaw of mine. Whenever you’re venting to me or you’re sharing your heart, I oftentimes want to recommend solutions, and if I had a $10 bill for every time that you’ve said to me baby, just listen. 

 

0:11:09 – Kayla

I’m not asking you to fix anything. We could retire tomorrow. 

 

0:11:14 – Brian

We could retire tomorrow. But I got these great solutions, but for you, you just need to get this stuff off your heart, yeah. 

 

0:11:22 – Kayla

I have learned to say up front though, I’m not looking for a solution. 

 

0:11:28 – Brian

How’s that working out? 

 

0:11:29 – Kayla

It’s gotten better. 

 

You have you really have gotten better at? Just I can tell you’re twitching a little bit because you just really want to fix it, but you are trying just to listen and not go in. But that’s one of your strengths as a leader is you’re a problem solver and you are a fixer. But sometimes I’m coming to you as a spouse and I’ve even said that, haven’t I? I’ve said to you B, I’m coming to you as K, not as one of your team members right now, and so that helps. There are seasons we have both seen this where I may need to carry more of the load at home due to outside work, and there are seasons where you may need to carry more of the work at home. 

 

0:12:15 – Brian

Okay, and speaking of, let me just say this, let me just say this up front. This, let me just say this up front the only way I can carry more of the load at home is like by helping to cook with food and cooking pick up dinner why don’t you wash clothes b? This has been over 30 years ago. Okay, I think you can trust me now nope what did you use? Too much of bleach and it put white splotches all over my clothes my clothes. I thought this happened before we got married. 

 

0:12:44 – Kayla

Oh, you tried this. You also shrunk one of my wool sweaters and it fit my friend’s four-year-old daughter. 

 

0:12:50 – Brian

I think that was somebody else, but I can cook and go pick up food. 

 

0:12:53 – Kayla

What else do you try to keep clean for us? 

 

0:12:55 – Brian

My bathroom. But there’s a definition, there’s a moving definition of clean. 

 

0:13:03 – Kayla

Yeah, but here’s the thing We’ve learned that it’s a privilege to come alongside each other and show tangible ways to be a support in busy times. It’s not like there’s this job description that we stick rigidly to, especially in busy seasons, I agree. 

 

0:13:21 – Brian

Now I in busy seasons, I agree. Now I do not wash clothes. No, I wash dishes. But if I wash them, I rewash them. 

 

0:13:32 – Kayla

Well, sometimes you just use that little wand and you haven’t put any soap on it. 

 

0:13:37 – Brian

There is soap in the wand. 

 

0:13:39 – Kayla

No, there’s not anyway. 

 

0:13:41 – Brian

All right, moving on. 

 

0:13:42 – Kayla

Back. There’s not, anyway, all right. Moving on back to the cheerleader. You have always been my biggest cheerleader because you challenge me when I embrace negative self-talk. You encourage me when I’m trying something new or scary, and you know my tells, you know what’s going on when I’m scared or when I’m afraid to take a risk. You offer help without expecting to receive the credit or the spotlight, although I am quick to give shout outs when you do. 

 

0:14:09 – Brian

That’s a very big gift of yours. 

 

0:14:10 – Kayla

But you can tell when I’m stuck. 

 

0:14:14 – Brian

Yes. 

 

0:14:15 – Kayla

And so you will cheer me on. This is the big thing here. You don’t allow me to give up or walk away from something. 

 

0:14:23 – Brian

You will make me stick it out because you see my potential and you want me to live into it yeah, there’s nothing I’m so grateful for that there’s nothing because I’ve done a lot of stuff scared I mean, you have embraced what god has given you and there’s nothing worse than walking away from that. 

 

0:14:42 – Kayla

Well, I had a great teacher, and he’s sitting across from me. 

 

0:14:46 – Brian

Let me just say this is that Kay is my rock and she steadies me. You speak life to me because I can spiral pretty quick. I can get very, I can get very down. I doubt myself so much and my personality type is that I will take care of everybody else but I’m going to ignore myself and you make sure that Brian gets taken care of. So thank you for that. I mean that, thank you. 

 

0:15:16 – Kayla

So the bottom line is this A relationship based on genuine love is one in which you’re constantly dying to yourself, and what that looks like is it’s easy to fall into that trap that I am more important than you are, my needs are more important than you are, my career is more important than you are. When you love a person and you see them as made in the image of Christ, you choose to cherish them and put them first. 

 

0:15:45 – Brian

I could not agree more. And scripture even says to husbands to love your wife, as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her. In other words, I’m supposed to even be willing to give up my life for you, and I do that in certain circumstances. Okay. 

 

0:16:06 – Kayla

On that note. 

 

0:16:07 – Brian

I’m kidding. In any circumstance, I believe that that’s my calling and that’s what I’m supposed to do, and I just want to say this baby, thank you for believing in me and supporting me. 

 

0:16:17 – Kayla

Right back at you. 

 

0:16:21 – Brian

Well, this should be fun, Just a few random facts about us. Okay. 

 

0:16:27 – Kayla

I hate to drive oh. 

 

0:16:29 – Brian

I don’t mind driving, I don’t mind taking you places. 

 

0:16:32 – Kayla

It is a necessary evil for me Now. You don’t want me driving after dark. I have night vision issues. 

 

0:16:40 – Brian

And let me say this and if it’s like more than two or three turns, I will take you, because you get prone to get. 

 

0:16:48 – Kayla

I won’t come back to that one. It might be on my list. 

 

0:16:51 – Brian

I hate to be bored. 

 

0:16:52 – Kayla

Oh, my goodness, yes. 

 

0:16:54 – Brian

I like to be entertained, which? 

 

0:16:56 – Kayla

is part of why you read so much, I think, because it gives you something to do. 

 

0:17:00 – Brian

Yeah, but I can’t read so much, I think, because it gives you something to do. Yeah, but I can’t stand, I cannot stand to be bored. I need to have a show, a book. There needs to be a person talking to me, yep. Or like this morning when I got up oh my gosh 4.30 in the morning. 

 

0:17:16 – Kayla

Ok, no, I had to go to the bathroom. No, I just need to get this out? 

 

0:17:21 – Brian

No, I looked out the window, and what? 

 

0:17:27 – Kayla

do I see there where your flowers are planted around the mailbox? Do I need to know at 430 in the morning that deer are eating my plant?

 

0:17:32 – Brian

Kay, come here, come look at this. I peeped my head. I said, kay, I was whispering. 

 

0:17:37 – Kayla

It doesn’t matter that you were whispering what it’s 430 in the morning I said come look, anyway, moving on. 

 

0:17:45 – Brian

If it’d been a bear, you’d have come look, wouldn’t you, mm-mm, not at 4.30. 

 

0:17:48 – Kayla

Really, go with God, bear Zombies. 

 

0:17:52 – Brian

Nope, okay. 

 

0:17:54 – Kayla

I love gardening, but I’m known for killing houseplants. 

 

0:17:58 – Brian

Houseplant assassin right here. Now you’ve got this one in the kitchen. That’s just going nuts. 

 

0:18:03 – Kayla

I ignore it, I do. It has beautiful sunlight where it sits and I basically just pour leftover water from the coffee pot on it Now each week I’m going to say something I’ve thought for years. 

 

0:18:15 – Brian

You know, every week we go to Kroger and we grocery shop and your first stop is a little flower section. You’ll buy a couple of bouquets of flowers. You ever wonder if those flowers are like screaming their guts out because they’ve been cut. Like you know, they’ve been cut off from their life source and all those bouquets are just going because they’re just sitting there legless. No, that doesn’t cross your mind. 

 

0:18:41 – Kayla

Moving on. Speaking of flowers. 

 

0:18:44 – Brian

But you love flowers? I do, and you do too. But you have a confession here. I love looking at them, but I could care less if I plant them.

 

0:18:52 – Kayla

Well, that’s why we get them. 

 

0:18:55 – Brian

I remember that we used to down in New Orleans. We planned this little garden. We put tomatoes and beans and peas and that’s about eight weeks in I realized I could walk over to the grocery store and spend five dollars and buy more than what this is producing. So no, I’m not into that. That’s just me. But I know that that makes you happy, happy, yes. 

 

0:19:16 – Kayla

In conjunction with my fear not fear of driving, I just hate driving. I do have an irrational fear of getting lost. When we go somewhere new, I have to remind myself. There are apps with maps. I can find my way home, but I am not good in situations where I don’t know where we’re going. And again, I have a tell you can figure out and you’ll assure me that everything’s good. 

 

0:19:43 – Brian

You know where we are Start taking that little hand, scratching that little head. Oh, just like this, Just sitting there scratching it. I know I said okay, we’ve entered. I struggle with having nightmares. 

 

0:19:55 – Kayla

And. 

 

0:19:55 – Brian

I have them probably twice a week. I’m part of the 3% of Americans who actually struggle with this. 

 

0:20:01 – Kayla

We have learned, though it’s your brain doing what? 

 

0:20:04 – Brian

Processing? Processing things, yeah, and the way it does, that is through nightmares occasionally and I’ve been the doctor and therapist that kind of stuff. 

 

0:20:12 – Kayla

So okay, I’m going to go ahead and apologize for this. Oh, okay, I’m going to go ahead and apologize for this. Nothing makes me crazier than reply all email threads. I’m sorry. I get that they are sometimes necessary, but I would prefer to reply personally to people. And yet then comes the next person who hits reply all and yet then comes the next person who hits reply all, and then I feel like a heel because people think I’m never responding but I am I’m typically doing it one-on-one, though, so okay, well, I’m not a fan of email overall I know you’re not 

 

but I mean, if it has more than four lines, I’m click delete I have to tell you the beginning in the end or the middle, because you read the beginning and the end. 

 

0:20:59 – Brian

I hate email. I hate entering my password using a TV remote control. 

 

0:21:07 – Kayla

So like when Netflix signs itself out or your Apple TV goes down. 

 

0:21:12 – Brian

It is the dumbest thing. But my anger level can go from zero to 60 in one second. I mean I am down the highway. I get so upset about that. It’s the dumbest thing. But my anger level can go from zero to 60 in one second. I mean I am down the highway. 

 

0:21:21 – Kayla

I get so upset about that First world problems that we live with. 

 

0:21:23 – Brian

Create something that will read I mean, MacBook has it, apple has it. You just read your fingerprint. Do that with that remote. I feel better now. 

 

0:21:33 – Kayla

Okay, kind of like me with the emails, All right. So one thing about my personality. I’ll end with this. I can present myself as very stoic. Hello, I’m British, but I feel things very deeply and. I care very personally, you do, so those two things can often kind of seem contradictory. 

 

0:21:54 – Brian

I’ll say this is that sometimes the outside doesn’t match the inside. I was a compliment, oh okay. I mean, you appear very stoic, but you’ve got a lot happening. 

 

0:22:07 – Kayla

There’s a lot going on. 

 

0:22:08 – Brian

Yeah, yeah. 

 

0:22:10 – Kayla

But I was taught you know stiff upper lip. 

 

0:22:12 – Brian

Yeah, that’s that British in you, but on the inside, I may be like in tears. 

 

0:22:17 – Kayla

Yeah, whereas for me it’s all out there, baby okay, that was a little what’s your last one. 

 

0:22:23 – Brian

You did not have to answer that so quickly I didn’t say I don’t like it about you no, but you answered it just like that boom. Okay, I’m sorry no, you’re not read your last I’m loud revelation about yourself I’m loud, I’m boisterous and it’s usually a shield to get you to like or even accept me and usually to help you look past my size no and let you see me as a person now. I’m not going to change who I am. 

 

0:22:51 – Kayla

I’m loud, I’m boisterous you’re a roaming party is what I call you. 

 

0:22:57 – Brian

But these days I got to be home by 830. 

 

0:23:00 – Kayla

Party’s got to end on time. Party’s got to end about 8:30. Okay, good to know so there’s that, hey. 

 

0:23:05 – Brian

It’s been our joy to spend this time with you and we’d like to give you a coffee mug and a pack of stickers and news. There’s a bunch more peas and carrots swag coming our way. 

 

0:23:17 – Kayla

There is, so stay tuned. But the first two people who go to our website and answer our trivia question, you will win a peas and carrots coffee mug, some stickers and apparently some of you are getting pens. Oh, and that was a very funny story that fell out this week Our dear friend Adam he’s my executive assistant. 

 

This is a teaser he and his wife will be joining our podcast soon. Yes, Adam actually includes a pen for the Encouraging Radio brand, which is part of our PAR family, right, well, someone thought that they accidentally got a pen. 

 

0:23:52 – Brian

So hey, are y’all missing a pen by accident? 

 

0:23:54 – Kayla

So nope, the pen was purposeful, it was there. A pen by accident? So nope, the pen was purposeful, it was there. But if you will click our website, yeah, you go to peasandcarrotspodcast.com. 

 

0:24:03 – Brian

Click on the trivia button and answer this question. 

 

0:24:07 – Kayla

Share with us one random fact about yourself. 

 

0:24:10 – Brian

Now look, please don’t put on there like how many moles or warts you got. 

 

0:24:15 – Kayla

Or you killed somebody in 1985. Right, we don’t need that, we don’t need to know that, but just one random fact about yourself. 

 

0:24:23 – Brian

So you go to peasandcarrotspodcast.com. 

 

0:24:25 – Kayla

Click that trivia button and you can win. Answer that question. You’ll win a coffee mug and some stickers and a pen. 

 

0:24:31 – Brian

So thanks for listening. Hey, you can search the Peas and Parrots. 

 

0:24:37 – Kayla

Peas and Carrots Podcast wherever you get your podcast or visit our website peasandcarrotspodcast.com and, when you do, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast. You can follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast.

 

0:24:54 – Brian

Peas and parrots. 

 

0:24:55 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Growing through the challenges we face and finding hope along the way. That’s the Jesus Fix It Podcast with Jess. Check out jesusfixit.com or search Jesus Fix It wherever you listen to podcasts. 

 

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Season 3, Episode 5: Make It Go Away

Make It Go Away - Episode Description

Join us on a heartfelt journey through our lives, where we start off with the whimsical confession of our Christmas trees overstaying their welcome into the new year. We’ll also touch on the early signs of spring amidst the fluctuating climate here in Blacksburg and share a personal update that’s as gritty as it gets–kidney stones. Listen in as we candidly discuss our aversion to the commercial pressures of Valentine’s Day and opt for simplicity in celebration. 

Then, get ready to dive into a thoughtful conversation on coping mechanisms as we discuss numbing agents of our own, and how we’re learning to find our joy and escape in Jesus instead. We laugh over our procrastination in taking down Christmas decorations and share an amusing mix-up involving Biofreeze and Febreze. As we discuss the rigors and rewards of a new gym routine, we also contemplate the peculiar, yet relatable habits surrounding snacking and grocery shopping. And if you’ve ever found yourself munching on movie theater popcorn outside the cinema, you’re in good company. So grab a snack (popcorn optional), settle in, and let’s navigate the beautiful messiness of life together, with a sprinkle of humor and a whole lot of heart.

Make It Go Away - Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders.

0:00:11 – Brian

Welcome to the Peas and Carrots Podcast. I’m Kayla and I’m Brian, and we’re also known as Peas and Carrots. There you go, I’m Carrots and I’m Peas. There you go. So we like to put a little butter in there, a little salt and pepper with oh do we? I do.

0:00:28 – Kayla

That’s a little creepy. Did we just cook ourselves?

0:00:30 – Brian

Well, that’s not what I was trying to say. Okay, okay, all right. What’s up in the world of Peas and Carrots?

0:00:39 – Kayla

We’re off the rails a little bit. Please don’t judge me. Okay what our Christmas trees are still up at home.

0:00:47 – Brian

Well, I’m confessing this to the world.

0:00:49 – Kayla

Okay but I think I’m ready to take one down.

0:00:55 – Brian

Which one upstairs?

0:00:56 – Kayla

Well, I just am. I just I’ve hit that point. It’s so peaceful in the mornings with well okay, at the very least, I think it’s time for the ornaments to come off. Okay, okay, we’ll have this conversation. Well, there’s a point that I’m confessing that because later on in the podcast I’m gonna share something else I’m gonna share that story.

0:01:15 – Brian

Yeah, okay, anyway.

0:01:17 – Kayla

Who are we rooting for this weekend? So, as we record this yes.

0:01:23 – Brian

There is a big game coming on Sunday, Thursday, before the big game who are you rooting for? I am cheering for the team from San Francisco. Brock Purdy. This is the quarterbacks name for.

0:01:40 – Kayla

We’re a house divided.

0:01:41 – Brian

Francisco Brock Purdy P. You are D why okay. He’s only making $175,000 this year as an NFL quarterback really to his mantra and I quote every time I Step on that field. I want to make much of him mmm and I’ve watched a bunch of interviews with him regarding his faith. Oh, wow and he’s the real deal. He isn’t just one of these guys that, like Joe’s attorney says I want to give glory to God Brock Purdy. Hmm has a real relationship, knows the gospel and knows his oh, my goodness.

0:02:26 – Kayla

Well, I was for the team from Kansas City because I have all these friends who are rooting for.

0:02:33 – Brian

You’ll probably win cuz any team my cheer for loses, so you know, there’s that. You’ve got what are gonna be our snacks.

0:02:38 – Kayla

Oh, don’t worry about that. We got to a down. Okay, yeah. But yeah, I have so many friends that are for Kansas City that I felt like I needed to fall in that. Kansas City friends, who that’s their team? I don’t know, people from Kansas City. But oh, Is this fake spring? What’s the temperature today?

0:02:57 – Brian

Today of the recording, I think it’s 62 62 degrees.

0:03:02 – Kayla

It’s glorious. We went for a walk yesterday. There are daffodils popping up.

0:03:07 – Brian

They’re always pretty. I mean, they haven’t bloomed yet.

0:03:10 – Kayla

So how many more winters Are?

0:03:12 – Brian

we going to have in Blacksburg before we? Are they daffodils or are they?

0:03:16 – Kayla

Well, there’s tulips as well. There’s both. So, yeah, there’s all kind of bulb flowers that are popping up. But here’s my question how many more winters in Blacksburg are we going to have to endure before real spring shows up? And if you live here, you know, am I right? We’re in fake spring.

0:03:35 – Brian

So I want to share something that is not on the list. Okay, I’ve either passed a stone, a kidney stone or we’re going through one.

0:03:45 – Kayla

Uh-huh. So, and you’re in very good spirits, I’ll give you that, so you’re kind of a pro at this, but I do feel bad for you.

0:03:52 – Brian

Well, I don’t want to be pro level, can I just oh you are, go back to the minor?

0:03:56 – Kayla

leagues. So, as this will air, it’s Valentine’s Day, which you should be very proud of me for even acknowledging that, because this is a random fact. What holiday can I not stand?

0:04:08 – Brian

Y’all. Miss Kayla hates Valentine’s Day. You hate it.

0:04:14 – Kayla

I do. I hate to even admit that, but I don’t like holidays that put so much pressure, and I just do feel sorry for people.

0:04:25 – Brian

Well, how do you feel about?

0:04:26 – Kayla

Christmas then, well, it’s its own thing, and I get it, but this one, that’s part of the reason.

0:04:32 – Brian

What.

0:04:33 – Kayla

People have just survived Christmas. Yeah, they’ve been recovering from whatever they’ve had to spend for that. And then here comes Valentine’s Day and flowers that cost $9.99 on February 10th.

0:04:46 – Brian

Cost $99.

0:04:47 – Kayla

Cost $99.99 on February 14th. I just don’t understand it, the pressure of having to convey your love to someone with a $99 bouquet of flowers. I like it Anyway. So what have I asked of you this year? What have I sworn you not to do?

0:05:04 – Brian

There’s no flowers, there’s no gift, and there’s no card and there’s to be no chocolate.

0:05:09 – Kayla

I just want to have a nice dinner at some point, maybe not on Valentine’s Day, because everyone else in the world will be doing that.

0:05:17 – Brian

I’ll cook you some popcorn and throw you a piece of beef jerky. How’s that?

0:05:21 – Kayla

Sounds good. Happy Valentine’s Day. Happy Valentine’s.

0:05:28 – Brian

Day Come to that N-U-M-B being numb to it. So we all have coping mechanisms, we have crutches.

0:05:43 – Kayla

Yeah, but they’re not always healthy.

0:05:45 – Brian

No, so we’re going to reveal some things about ourselves.

0:05:50 – Kayla

Yeah, we’re about to get really personal in here.

0:05:53 – Brian

That might shock you Probably not Well, probably not, but there you go.

0:05:59 – Kayla

But where did this come from? I read an article this week. It was fascinating and her honesty slays me?

0:06:06 – Brian

Is this the stuff you read at like 2 AM?

0:06:08 – Kayla

I don’t read it. 2 AM, you do.

0:06:11 – Brian

Oh, here we go.

0:06:12 – Kayla

A page that I follow. She shared that she gave up alcohol Christmas night. She laid there and realized what was one thing she could do different in 2024.

0:06:26 – Brian

That she decided to give up and she decided to give up alcohol.

0:06:31 – Kayla

This was the line that slayed me out of what she shared in the article that she wrote. She realized it stopped tasting like rosé and it started tasting a lot like relief.

0:06:43 – Brian

I don’t do alcohol. I don’t drink alcohol. Maybe a sip of champagne on the USE and we want to get this out of the way.

0:06:54 – Kayla

If any of what we are about to share is something that you do, but you do it in a healthy way, we’re not condemning you. That’s none of our business. And we are not telling you these things should be forbidden. So please hang with us.

0:07:08 – Brian

So I’m just going to get mine out of the way. I’m going to confess this up front and explain my why.

0:07:15 – Kayla

So, basically, what we’re about to share is some air quote habits or behaviors in our life that we felt perhaps we needed to reevaluate, and this has been a process. This isn’t something that we just decided yesterday.

0:07:30 – Brian

No.

0:07:31 – Kayla

So I’ll let you go first.

0:07:33 – Brian

Good, it’s been a journey for you. And I’m still on that journey.

0:07:37 – Kayla

Yeah.

0:07:38 – Brian

Food is my numbing mechanism. Like you actually quoted this lady that said, it stopped tasting like rosé and started tasting a lot like relief. Fried chicken stopped tasting like fried chicken and started tasting like relief. Comfort Tacos no longer tastes like tacos, they taste like relief. I could go through those cheesy fries from Outback don’t taste like cheesy fries, they taste like relief. Um, that’s what food is for me.

0:08:06 – Kayla

Would you say it was a security blanket?

0:08:08 – Brian

No, Well, maybe it. Here’s what I’m going to say about food. That’s getting real personal. Food has never rejected me. Food has never said I was a failure. Food has never condemned me. Food has never said you’re an idiot. Food has never said you could be better. Food has always been there and accepted me.

0:08:33 – Kayla

I think that’s what I was referring to about the security blanket it was. It was safe, it’s safe.

0:08:38 – Brian

Yes, and so I use that to numb those feelings and to spread on those insecurities and those hurts.

0:08:50 – Kayla

But a couple of years ago you actually realized what. What was it not?

0:08:53 – Brian

doing? Oh, it wasn’t doing. I mean it wasn’t doing it.

0:08:56 – Kayla

It wasn’t a permanent fix. Yeah it wasn’t.

0:08:58 – Brian

No, never is I struggle with it.

0:09:03 – Kayla

Yes, but well, it helps that you can’t eat anything anymore.

0:09:08 – Brian

Which my waistline would show that it does, but but I can’t eat a lot of fried. I did find that I can have Bojangles fried chicken. I’m just putting that out there, but it’s not a permanent fix and you have to keep going back to that. Well, and what I’m trying to learn is in those moments when I’m insecure, when I feel exposed, when I feel rejected, when I feel tossed aside and this isn’t by you, this is by the world or by some friends or whatever I need to sit there with that in that uncomfortable and look to Christ. That’s where I am in my journey.

Uh, at a recent gathering, uh, I always eat last because I believe that, like, leaders eat last. And when I got done, everybody had seated and there was no place for me to sit, so I had to go sit by myself, and that’s one of my biggest fears, biggest thing in the world. And yet you you actually know this Like, I will not like it for a part. You won’t go to a restaurant. I will not go to a restaurant. Yeah, order something in. I will not go because I don’t want people thinking well, look at him, he’s a loser. I can’t handle that because of some stuff that that, like I’ve been through, so I had to sit there. Now, uh, eventually a friend did come over and sit with me, but I think it was good because I had to sit there and in those moments I just had to pray and say Jesus, you are enough. This is not a reflection of my value or of love or of acceptance. This is a result of the number of tables and chairs in a room and I’m still not there, but that’s.

0:10:54 – Kayla

And you also realized that what was on your plate wasn’t going to change what you were feeling. Yeah, so, so, yeah, this is embarrassing to admit, but I will because I hope it will help someone.

I loved shopping, loved it. I found it to be a distraction. It netted me something fun. Um, I just loved it. I’ve always been the one that people send the target memes to and all the other fun memes just got one last week. But During COVID you watched this evolution I started to really examine my priorities and I sat with some really hard feelings that I realized I Would avoid dealing with hard things by oh well, let me just go shopping, let me go wander target. And again, if you do that and it’s just because You’ve got a three-hour break from your kids, you go right ahead. But I was doing it to avoid having to sit with my uncomfortable to face up to some things that were. I was in a very tough season personally and Then, during COVID, two truths became evident to me. We all needed a whole lot less than we thought we did.

0:12:12 – Brian

Hmm.

0:12:13 – Kayla

I mean, come on for real. Most of us lived in different tops but the same sweatpants for six days out of the week. I mean yeah.

But I also realized that that hit that I got from that shopping never lasted. Hmm, it was very short-lived. Sure, I would love that new cute throw pillow or I would love that new cute top, but within a week I was bored with it or I Was back to feeling what I was trying to avoid feeling. The other thing I realized I Could take the energy that I was funneling into shopping and start really focusing on my health, and At that time I came to you and I said I really would like to join your gym, which you were very shocked, but I found that to be a better use of the money and it meant that less stuff was coming into our house. So it was less in, less out, because as some stuff came in, other stuff went out to the thrift store.

And it was an aha moment for me mentally as well, because the less shopping I was doing meant the less stuff, and the less stuff meant the less clutter, and the less clutter meant the less anxious that I was. So it was kind of this whole evolution. And so the pandemic brought home to me the reality that less really was more, and and as I started to Literally work out some of my issues. I Could sit with some of what was going on inside and there’s nothing like a rowing machine to give you time to start processing some of the things that you’ve been running from.

0:14:00 – Brian

I’m gonna write down that you said that because I disagree, but go ahead so I Don’t know what yours is.

0:14:07 – Kayla

I mean, if we’re being honest with each other, which we are, we all have something or or have had something that we’re choosing to numb with yes and it can look like drinking, shopping, eating out, it can look like avoidance, it can look there’s a whole list of things that it can be.

But here’s what we both realized when any of this becomes a problem, when we’re using numbing to avoid dealing with something that we absolutely need to work through, when it’s an escape rather than confronting whatever it is that’s causing us pain or discomfort, that’s when we know that the habit may not be a good habit.

0:14:54 – Brian

So a thing for me is this, and I’m just going to confess this I enjoy food.

0:15:02 – Kayla

Sure, well, God meant for you too, he gave it to you.

0:15:05 – Brian

I enjoy it too much. What I’m trying to learn is how to enjoy Jesus. How do I find joy in Him? How do I allow Him to help me face those things? How do I? That’s all. And I know the Westminster Confession. I’ve read Piper. I’ve read all of them.

0:15:30 – Kayla

But food is something tangible. It’s something that you can literally grasp in your hands.

0:15:35 – Brian

Extra crispy KFC. Two breasts and two wings. I’m down for that. Yes, it makes me feel better.

0:15:40 – Kayla

Well, no, you’re actually not anymore because of your allergies, but yeah, so let’s end with this.

0:15:45 – Brian

I’d risk an epi-pin.

0:15:47 – Kayla

Please, if you’re listening to this, do not walk away feeling judged for your choices. If you choose to drink or you choose to shop, you choose to eat out, you choose to pursue a hobby, this is the caution we would give you. If the only reason you’re doing it is to run away from something, then maybe it’s not the good option for you. And if the choices that any of us are making have the potential to leave us financially strained or drowning, grateful this was not true for us. Legit, we had the means. It wasn’t that that was an issue. Reality comes in when, if anything we’re doing is causing strain or pressure for the rest of our family and for the rest of the situations we’re trying to embrace. Because I again, I see how much better a use of money it is for me to be part of a gym and I also see how much money we’re saving, and that is just an embarrassment all in itself.

0:16:50 – Brian

Well, there’s that. But, as she said, do not leave this today feeling guilty. If anything. We hope that our confession has helped you feel seen and that you’re not in this alone.

0:17:04 – Kayla

No.

0:17:05 – Brian

And we’re all just a hot mess trying to take the next step.

0:17:09 – Kayla

So Absolutely there you go.

0:17:11 – Brian

So are we going to get 12 piece on the way home? No, we’re not, ok. Well, ok, that was a quick answer.

0:17:19 – Kayla

So let’s do a few random moments from life with B and K. So that was very heavy. We want to end with something a little more fun. I am going to go back to what I confessed at the beginning, which is that we still have a Christmas tree upstairs. It’s a little one, y’all, and our big Christmas tree is still up downstairs. Please don’t send me hate mail.

0:17:41 – Brian

But in our home there’s a little window over the door and she can see out of that.

0:17:48 – Kayla

I can see all the neighbors houses.

0:17:50 – Brian

She can see all the neighbor houses around us. There might be one or two that still have what.

0:17:55 – Kayla

Well, there’s several, and it’s their business, but they still have their Christmas lights up outside.

0:18:01 – Brian

This is where I pick up the story this particular morning. I guess this hit her the wrong way. And we have an Alexa upstairs as well, uh huh. Well, miss Kayla, when she hits that top step walking down, she can look down. She sees these, all these different neighbors, and it’s February, whatever. And she’s like why do y’all still have your lights up? Don’t y’all know it’s February? Take your lights down. I can’t understand this. And just as she finished, Alexa said here are a few songs to help you calm down. I was gone, just dead.

0:18:42 – Kayla

God used Alexa to check me. I’m just saying I will never.

0:18:46 – Brian

here are a few songs to help you calm down, and she stopped going down the stairs. She turned around and Mind your business.

0:18:54 – Kayla

That’s exactly what she said to Alexa, but, lord, I’m sorry for judging when I too still have Christmas trees Inside, but, as a friend told me, mine aren’t visible. So there’s that, but it still doesn’t take away from the lesson. Okay, we were so sore after last week’s gym session.

0:19:13 – Brian

We’re doing this new routine at the gym and it’s killer.

0:19:16 – Kayla

But it’s good, we love our gym. We do our trainers are great guy. He is think he’s out to kill us. You declared on Saturday as we left the house to run errands, you said this Counts as our daily walk.

0:19:30 – Brian

Yes, because we’re supposed to do this 10-minute daily walk. Now we’re not in the gym and we were going, and I think we’re going in Target or somewhere and I said this gonna count as our 10-minute walk on through Target. I mean, I literally hurt last week.

0:19:43 – Kayla

Uh-huh, oh, I do today. So yeah, here we are.

0:19:48 – Brian

Speaking of sore, you still laugh at me and you still continue to confuse this.

0:19:56 – Brian

I still continue to mix up Biofreeze with Febreze.

0:20:00 – Kayla

Yes, so we may not have pain relief, but we will sure smell good. Well, they got this.

0:20:09 – Brian

Is it that apple vinegar thing I got? That’s really good. Is that what that is?

0:20:13 – Kayla

I don’t know. But, I really don’t want to use it for pain relief.

0:20:16 – Brian

Well yeah.

0:20:19 – Kayla

Does anyone else struggle with the reality that the version of you that grocery shops is Is not the same version of you when it comes time for a snack?

0:20:28 – Brian

Yes.

0:20:29 – Kayla

I find myself standing longingly staring into our pantry.

0:20:33 – Brian

Yes, and there’s nothing. I’ve been craving popcorn so bad, I don’t know why. Well, do you know? I read an article that there’s a percentage of the population, uh-huh that on their way home they will stop and movie theater and get pop, yeah and take it home. They won’t go see the movie.

0:20:52 – Kayla

Really that’s genius. No, it’s weird. You’re gonna pay twelve dollars for a bucket of pop voice cheaper than a movie. Well, I’m just saying okay, but.

0:21:05 – Brian

But there is something about movie theater popcorn.

0:21:07 – Kayla

Oh, there is.

0:21:08 – Brian

I mean it’s pretty good, but you get all that stuff in your teeth and everything. Have you ever read a book that was so deep and stretched you so much that you felt you should have a degree to finish it?

0:21:19 – Kayla

Yes, I feel like I deserve a seminary degree when I get done. Y’all, I am doing an amazing women’s study and I’m so thankful for these ladies and for our church, but, holy, wow, it’s a lot, and I feel like I should get a degree when I get done. Am I the only one? I mean this is? This is a book and a half. It’s good, it’s stretching me, but I got done with the third week and I looked at you and I said I want my degree now.

0:21:51 – Brian

I felt that way reading two books. One was the works of Jonathan Edwards, mmm. Oh my gosh, and then Karen Swallow prior wrote a book called on reading.

0:22:01 – Kayla

Well, yeah, you can’t read that one fast and I had to have a dictionary nearby.

0:22:07 – Brian

I love the book but, yeah, it hurt my head.

0:22:10 – Kayla

It made you think really hard.

0:22:12 – Brian

Yeah, let me think.

0:22:13 – Kayla

I love seeing you teach adults Sunday school yeah.

0:22:16 – Brian

I’m teaching the book of James and adults Sunday school. Let me just say this I feel like God’s using me again, that he hasn’t given up on this old boy.

0:22:26 – Kayla

You also love seeing what.

0:22:28 – Brian

I love seeing the Bible come alive. Yeah, people’s lives. There’s a it happened about a week ago or two weeks ago. He says don’t be hearers of the word only, but be doers. Yeah because if you’re here only, it leads to like Filthiness and wickedness. Well, one of those Greek words is a word that’s also used for like earwax in the Greek, and Lights went on everywhere people got. What James was saying is that you can’t hear because your mind’s full of other stuff and it’s just fun to see yeah the Bible Just come alive.

So, and I enjoy having you right there next, just right there next to me, yeah, answering questions and everything well, you’re the one answering questions.

0:23:16 – Kayla

But yeah, well, there you go. Well, no, you answer questions. Oh yeah, okay as of this recording this week We’ve had four people win mugs and a cute little sheet of what stickers she loves her so, yeah, so yes, if you would like to be one of those people this next week, go to our website, answer our trivia question and to do that, go to the peasandcarrotspodcast.com website. Click the trivia button. What is our question this week?

0:23:50 – Brian

Name a book you read that challenged you in a good way. So here’s the question: Name a book that challenged you in a good way and you can answer that, and win a mug and a pack of stickers.

0:24:01 – Kayla

Peasandcarrotspodcast.com you just click the trick the trivia button, you can search peas and carrots podcast. Wherever you get your podcasts or visit our website again.

0:24:14 – Brian

That’s peasandcarrotspodcast.com, hey, when you do, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast, and you can follow us on Facebook and Instagram.

0:24:24 – Kayla

Just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast.

0:24:27 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Life’s not perfect. That’s why God gave us friends like Melody and Candi. Check out QuirksBumpsandBruises.com, or search Quirks, Bumps, and Bruises wherever you listen to podcasts.

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