Season 3, Episode 13: Steadfast in Suffering

Can We Talk?
Steadfast in Suffering - Episode Description
Every so often, life throws at us challenges that test our resilience and compel us to find strength we never knew we had. That’s the essence of the remarkable conversation I had with my executive assistant, Adam Read, and his wife Trisha, who joined me to share their journey through Adam’s unexpected medical issues and the profound impact on their marriage and perspective on life. Their candid account, ripe with trials and an unwavering bond, reveals how they’ve managed to navigate the rough waters with grace and a faith that has been their anchor. Our discussion doesn’t just stop at their story—it extends to the influence such experiences have on the entire family, shaping aspirations and strengthening character, especially in their children.
We then change gears slightly to embrace our Peas and Carrots Podcast Trivia Giveaway, an engaging and heartening segment designed to connect our community through shared words of comfort. I encourage our listeners to participate by sharing Bible verses that resonate during trying times, with some delightful prizes up for grabs. The power of scripture and collective wisdom stands at the core of this chapter, a testament to the solace we find in unity and shared experience. So grab a cozy spot, and join us on this episode that’s not just about storytelling, but also about building a community that uplifts and supports one another through every twist and turn life may present.
Steadfast in Suffering - Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 

 

0:00:11 – Kayla

Welcome to the Peas and Carrots Podcast. I’m Brian and I’m Kayla. Good to have you along this week, and this is going to be a very special part one of two podcasts that we had the privilege of sitting down with your executive assistant, Adam Read, and his wife Trisha, and so we’ll get to that in a minute, but let’s start here. What’s up in the Cabbage Patch? 

 

0:00:37 – Brian

We’re very busy right now. 

 

0:00:39 – Kayla

Yes, we are. 

 

0:00:40 – Brian

We’re in the middle of our fundraising season. Well, actually it just began. It’s like a week old, I guess. 

 

0:00:46 – Kayla

Yeah, we will have three weeks to go as of the time this drops, so yeah lots of caffeine. 

 

0:00:52 – Brian

We’re in the thick of it seeing God move. Very little sleep.

 

0:00:56 – Kayla

So yeah, it’s good and in the midst of all this, for those of you who know me or have followed us for a while in this crazy adventure, I love sweets, but I’ve been trying really, really hard to choose fresh food and not junk, and man, this is hard. So, yeah, even chocolate, which we took like a three-year hiatus from each other. 

 

0:01:29 – Brian

We broke up for a while because of COVID. Are y’all back on speaking terms? 

 

0:01:33 – Kayla

Certain kinds of chocolate, yeah. 

 

0:01:36 – Brian

But I don’t crave it like I not really, not like I used to. You’re eating this hue chocolate. 

 

0:01:43 – Kayla

It’s pretty good, it’s all natural, it doesn’t have a lot of additives and it’s dark chocolate. I can only do dark chocolate now. But yeah, so there’s this meme, all of that, to say this it’s a dog and he’s sitting in front of a wall with a hole in it and it says I miss carbs, I ate a wall. So I feel like that’s who I am right now. 

 

0:02:09 – Brian

Yes, preach sister. So Sunday morning we were leaving for church and let me just say this I love pins and Adam Read. 

 

0:02:20 – Kayla

You have a little bit of a fetish over pins. 

 

0:02:23 – Brian

Adam Read, who you will hear from in a few moments. He’s my executive assistant. He also is one of my very best friends in the world. For Christmas he got me a Darth Vader pen and I loved it. I mean it writes well. I mean I love a good pen. So I went and ordered I found out where they came from Went and got the Kylo Ren pen, the R2-D2 pen and an extra Darth Vader one. Well, Sunday morning I just put the Kylo Ren pen in my Bible. 

 

0:02:54 – Kayla

And I am sitting in our women’s Sunday school class. 

 

0:02:57 – Brian

So I get to church, I drop you off at the door, we get to church and I go to the back seat to get my Bible out to walk in for Sunday school. I don’t see the pen. Well, I look all over that truck, I look outside the truck and I go into church and I’m walking by your Sunday school class. 

 

0:03:12 – Kayla

Stick your head in and say Kay, do you have my Kylo Ren pen? Do you know where it is? 

 

0:03:18 – Brian

And five ladies’ heads, five or six ladies’ heads. They turned and looked at me and our director of ministries Her name is Christy Schrader she says I think that’s fantastic that you have a Kylo Ren pen and she says, would you like a normal pen? I said no, it’s not a Kylo Ren pen, but good news. 

 

0:03:37 – Kayla

We found your pen in the front yard when we got home from church. 

 

0:03:43 – Brian

So, yeah, I’m pretty happy about that. So we spent some time with Adam and Trisha Read, okay, and we’re going to introduce them to you. He will tell his story and then we’re going to come back and we’re going to comment on some things that they said. We think that this is going to be a powerful, powerful time and, as promised, we are joined by Adam and Trisha Read. Thanks for joining us today, guys. 

 

0:04:14 – Adam

It’s good to be here. Thank you for having us, Brian and Kayla. 

 

0:04:18 – Brian

Let me just say this Adam Read is the director of digital media for the ministry that we serve at, positive alternative radio, and his other role, which is his cross to bear, is you are my executive assistant, yeah so I get a break from you during the day so I try and make your you know absorb some of it so that when he comes home, at night. 

 

0:04:43 – Adam

Thank you, it’s a little easier for you. 

 

0:04:44 – Brian

Hopefully, this is my life. Y’all, this is my life. You’re so blessed, Brian, so Trisha and I try to take some of this off of you during the day, okay. 

 

0:04:54 – Trish

We attempt to balance it out there. 

 

0:04:59 – Brian

So Adam and I, we are great friends, but I also need you to know that, Adam I’m talking to the audience right now, but you also have a medical condition, and if you could tell us that story. And then we want to ask Trisha how y’all have seen God work through this in your marriage. 

 

0:05:22 – Adam

Sure, yeah, I think it might be helpful to start just kind of explaining what the story is of. The condition is so a little bit of background into what my life is like, and my wife is such a support through all of it, and has been even before we were married, as things started to show up. So I started having some medical issues when I was about 16 and really didn’t know that they were related to anything. It was just kind of like, okay, that’s odd, and we just started to think that it was a one-time issue. And then, about the time I was 20, shortly after, well, a month after really, we started dating, I had my lung collapse once and I was like, okay, that was another really odd thing, it was just spontaneous, it just collapsed. 

 

0:06:06 – Kayla

For a 20-year-old yeah. 

 

0:06:07 – Adam

Yeah, I mean, it’s just your middle of college. You think you’re kind of invincible at that point, you know like you’re supposed to be at your peak of health or so, and just it kind of shuts you down. Ended up having surgery for that. Things looked like they recovered and then, a month to the day from the first time it collapsed, it collapsed again, oh my. So they ended up doing the same surgery again, but it didn’t work the second time and so they ended up doing a very invasive surgery where they went in through, they cut some ribs, went in and worked on the lung itself to actually staple off a bunch of what essentially most people would think of as like blisters across the lung. But I couldn’t collapse and during that time I was dating my wife and her and her family were in the area where the college were and she stuck with me through all of that, even got. Did you get a speeding ticket? 

 

0:06:57 – Trish

A warning. I just got a warning. 

 

0:06:59 – Adam

On the way to the hospital. She was so intent on coming to see me, Brian, I want you to know she cared. Would it have been worth a ticket? So intent on coming to see me, Brian? I want you to know she cares. Would it have been worth a ticket? 

 

0:07:06 – Brian

Well maybe it’s just. 

 

0:07:09 – Trish

Oh I like that. 

 

0:07:10 – Brian

She paused. She paused, I like that. 

 

0:07:13 – Trish

I think maybe the more important thing is I probably was late, which maybe is something. 

 

0:07:18 – Adam

Late to what. 

 

0:07:18 – Trish

To like. 

 

0:07:19 – Adam

Class. 

 

0:07:20 – Trish

To like when I was supposed to be there, oh so when you were supposed to be here. 

 

0:07:23 – Adam

Well, I would have forgiven you for that, but I might not have to struggle with that delay. So yeah, she was there through. All of that Ended up was actually kind of funny. After I had my second surgery it was a very long recovery just to be able to get up and walk around again, really because of the amount of work they did. So it was multiple months and she worked at camp that summer away from her home, just a few miles away, and I actually lived at her house with her parents and so I got to know her parents real well and they got to know me and they still somehow put up with me after all that and liked me. 

 

0:07:54 – Trish

Maybe like you better. They like me better than you. 

 

0:07:58 – Adam

I don’t think so. 

 

0:07:59 – Brian

I don’t think so. 

 

0:08:00 – Adam

But yeah, so that kind of started it and honestly we didn’t know what caused all that. But we kind of looked around a little bit but thought, okay, that’s probably over now. And then just through the years till now it’s just kind of been a constant roll of things. We had a lot of issues come up. I’ve had over a dozen surgeries now, including two brain surgeries, three lung surgeries and multiple other stuff, you know, cutting bones, connecting, reconnecting stuff that’s coming out of socket. So it took us. I think we decided we’re talking about it last night. Was it like? 

 

0:08:39 – Trish

Around 2013. 

 

0:08:40 – Adam

2013. So it took us like 13 years to finally get a diagnosis, because it was a rare disease. 

 

0:08:46 – Kayla

Oh, wow. 

 

0:08:47 – Adam

And so it’s called Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. Eds is the short term and it’s a little bit more commonly known now because there’s been some awareness projects around it and there’s various types of it. But for me it’s affected my whole body, so I live every day in pain. I can’t remember what a day without pain is like. And then God brought you into my life, and then my pain tripled. Okay, maybe not that bad. 

 

0:09:19 – Kayla

I have to interject here, though, in all seriousness and I can’t speak for Trisha again home life. You know you’re entitled to be grumpy there. No-transcript, in as much pain as you wrestle. I just need to interject that, that you are one of the kindest and most gracious and, again, I know we all have our moments. So I’m sure Trish is sitting there going. Are we talking about the same? 

 

0:09:45 – Trish

No, actually I think especially specifically like hospital situations, when things are serious, like he gets calmer, I necessarily but she’s a great advocate you get calmer. 

 

0:09:56 – Adam

She’s a huge advocate for me and I’m more like, okay, like I process it and I actually get humorous at that. 

 

0:10:04 – Trish

Like it’s really bad If I get really nervous. 

 

0:10:06 – Brian

So when you’re facing death. 

 

0:10:07 – Adam

you’re cracking jokes. If it’s that serious, I’m cracking jokes and then she knows I’m worried. 

 

0:10:13 – Trish

Okay. But then there’s an aspect where then I kind of get into like, okay, let’s get things done. 

 

0:10:19 – Adam

But she’s been a great advocate for me when I’ve not been able to speak for myself, literally about what’s going on? It’s been a huge thing to have her and her support. Like me, being who I am today is obviously our savior, is who we rely on and all of it, but it is a huge part to my wife. 

 

0:10:37 – Trish

I think we all have our moments. 

 

0:10:38 – Adam

Yeah, absolutely on in all of it, but it is a huge part to my wife. I think we all have our moments. Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. I mean I have a rib that’s constantly out of place and other ones that separate, if I move around too much, from the sternum or from the spine, so it’s like every breath is painful, like it’s just the way I live. And since then I’ve been diagnosed. Well, I have three rare diseases. So I’m just trying to add up and be a little more weird than I already am, Brian. 

 

0:11:05 – Brian

So yeah, nothing on that. What are those? 

 

0:11:07 – Adam

I’m trying to be really nice to you. It’s not working. 

 

0:11:11 – Brian

I can see it in your face. You don’t have a straight face. What are those three diseases? 

 

0:11:14 – Adam

So there’s of course the EDS, and then I have autoimmune autonomic ganglionopathy. 

 

0:11:22 – Kayla

Which is that sounds terrible? 

 

0:11:22 – Adam

Yeah, your body is attacking. 

 

0:11:23 – Kayla

Itself right. 

 

0:11:24 – Adam

Yourself and eventually affects the small nerve fiber system. So it creates neuropathy in my heart, in my blood vessels, like how your body communicates to those to make them contract and regulate blood pressure or to like keep the blood flow flowing correctly throughout the whole body doesn’t work properly and that’s why I have the monthly infusions that I have. They don’t do anything for the pain or whatever. It’s just to help the body not attack itself as much, so it can kind of attack the other things that I get, and then the other ones are bleeding disorder. That’s rare. 

 

0:11:55 – Brian

Yeah, let me go back to what Kayla said. I’ve never heard you grumble. 

 

0:12:01 – Kayla

I’ve never heard you complain. 

 

0:12:02 – Brian

I’d be a walking complaint department. I just want to say that, and so part of the reason why we wanted to invite you two on the podcast is because you’re both very humble. You lean into Christ more than I’ve ever seen. I mean, I don’t understand that. So here’s what I want to ask you to how do you do that? 

 

0:12:26 – Adam

Well, first of all I would say I don’t feel like I’m those things. I feel like I have a long way to go in any of those areas. I think when you have nowhere else to turn, you’re going to turn to various things. You have various options anyway to try and escape when you’re in pain. One is to just dull it by looking for hope, other places, right, and that never lasts, and I think there’s been times that I’ve done that, you know, like tried to find relief and other things that could distract from the pain. 

 

I think the other thing is trying to put your hope in things that the world holds on to and you realize when you’re in a condition like mine, that is only going to get worse over time. Those things aren’t going to last either. So it kind of gives you a different perspective on life in some ways. The things that I would normally have held on to in life the Lord has, because of his graciousness and allowing me to even have the stuff that I have and I say that in a kind of a weird way because that sounds odd, but it’s true he’s pulled some of the stuff that I would have naturally held on to away from me and that’s been not fun. That’s been a whole lot of hard days, wouldn’t you say, babe? 

 

0:13:36 – Trish

Yeah, I think one of the things we talked about with the kids last night we were asking them and they said, like we didn’t really have a choice, like it wasn’t like we picked this and so from that, then knowing that all good things, but also all things, are from our heavenly father. So just seeing that as like okay, it’s not us choosing one thing or the other, just seeing that as like okay, it’s not us choosing one thing or the other, it’s that we’ve been given this and attempting to steward it well. 

 

0:14:00 – Brian

The Lord’s given us this and we’re attempting to steward it. Well, yeah, how do you look at your husband, who you know is in pain, and say, okay, god, you’ve given this to us. Help me see this as something good and to steward it, because I find that kind of faith amazing. 

 

0:14:19 – Trish

I think it’s part of what we have like, just in our faith, trusting in Christ, and if we trust him right for eternity, right, so if I’m trusting him for eternity, then I’m also trusting him for today. So if he’s big enough for our eternity, then he’s enough for what he has given today. And I think, just remembering like the world is broken right, like all of us live in a broken world, so our broken is every day, each of us. So when we say like well, well, this situation, like he’s not grumpy or whatever, but I also see it as like, okay, we have a choice today. 

 

0:14:55 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:14:55 – Trish

Just like what I tell my kids every day Okay, you have a choice, what are you going to choose? And so, if I’m living for myself, yeah, this isn’t fair, I don’t want to do this, and we have those. We have to fight that. It’s not that it’s not a battle, but it’s making sure our perspective is correct of like. I don’t deserve easy. That’s not what Christ has called us to.

 

0:15:15 – Adam

Yeah, and I think we’ve kind of come back many times to like, if I understand scripture correctly, what I deserve is death and separation from God forever in hell. That’s what I deserve, and so anything less than that is his grace. And that still doesn’t sound fun and cheery sometimes. Like we want, like we want always, like well the gospel, everything will be great. Well, the gospel doesn’t say that life on this earth is going to be all roses and happiness. And you know, rainbow, like it’s going to be hard, like it makes it clear that life on this earth is still going to be hard. And, as a believer, there’ll be difficult things. And I think some of the hardest things we had to wrestle with is like the death of what you thought were dreams about what life would be like, like thinking like life’s going to be good. 

 

0:15:59 – Brian

You got stuck with me. 

 

0:16:01 – Adam

Yeah, that On an everyday, Brian, 3 am to 5 am on my knees, but no, it’s like life is not what we expected. It. It’s just so different. 

 

0:16:13 – Trish

I think we say this is plan what. 

 

0:16:19 – Adam

Yeah, we’re like, are we through the alphabet? And starting over again on what we thought? Because then you get a new diagnosis and you’re like, okay, well, then this changes. And struggling with you know, like okay, my kid wants me to go play ball with them and not able to do that right now. Or it’s just those little life moments that you think about and you’re like, okay, like I don’t want my kids to have to deal with this issue, like I’d rather them just have a normal dad. 

 

And I struggled with that for quite some time. But I mean, this is a very simple truth. I don’t know why it took me so long to realize it and why it’s taken me so long to go. Like I have to remind myself of it is that God chose to put them in this family and he has promised to give me grace for whatever he puts in my path. He has chosen to put them here and he has promised to give them grace for what he puts in their path, and part of that is the family he’s placed them into, and so we’ve seen God work in ways in their lives through it too, even though it’s not always been easy. 

 

0:17:12 – Brian

How do the kids respond to this? 

 

0:17:14 – Trish

Before we started recording, you were telling us a story about yeah, so we have, you know, just as any like, they’re all completely different. So we have one that is absolutely fascinated with the medical field and she wants to conquer, like, she wants to figure out and solve problems. So I think some of that is because of what she has seen, and she loves to see when IVs are put in and all the details she would put it in herself if we’d let her.

 

And we have one that is incredibly just. She has a huge heart and hates to see anyone suffer, and so her processing looks differently. So, in those aspects of giving them space, first of all, to be able to discuss how they feel, what they think, but also encouraging like, hey, it’s okay to struggle, yeah, giving openness of like, yeah, it stinks, it’s hard, and not pretending it’s not, yeah, and I think that’s one thing I’ve had to work through over the years. 

 

0:18:10 – Adam

I used to think I had to have like some sort of Pollyanna attitude toward it, like rejoice in all things, Like Like I just need to be happy about it and be like well, this is what God’s given me. This is great guys. You know like just this is super, it’s OK, and just over the years coming around, like no, it stinks. 

 

0:18:30 – Kayla

But God’s given us an array of emotions. He doesn’t expect us just to be joyful all the time. 

 

0:18:36 – Adam

Yeah, Like I can of emotions. He doesn’t expect us just to be joyful all the time. Yeah, it’s okay to be sad about things. We live in a broken world and it’s not only unnatural, it’s unhealthy. It’s unhealthy in the sense that if we’re looking for hope where it should be, which is in eternity yeah these sad things help us to see and want eternity, and forever and eternity in a healthy, better way than if we just act like everything’s okay to know Adam, you would never believe he’s lived with chronic pain for as much of his life as he has. 

 

0:19:13 – Kayla

Because I’m just keeping it real, he is not an Eeyore. He is one of the most encouraging and humorous people that we’ve ever had the chance to do life with, would you agree? 

 

0:19:25 – Brian

I agree, he razzes me and you’ve heard some of that there. And let me say this he’s one of the most cheerful people. 

 

0:19:35 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:19:35 – Brian

He’s the most cheerful person I’ve ever met, even as he carries all this. 

 

0:19:41 – Kayla

Yeah, he’s cheerful, he aggravates me, he tells me jokes, he smiles and I sit there in amazement at that, because that convicts me, because I don’t have three rare diseases and yet someone that does, can take the time and is willing to embrace the fact that your role requires a lot, that it’s very heavy, it bears a lot of responsibility, and so Adam’s great delight is in finding ways that he can come alongside you and gift you information that you might need, or a joke to dispel some tension. He’s not focused on how much he’s hurting or how difficult his day is. He is looking for ways to make someone else’s day less difficult, and he does this for like 60 team members in PAR. In very different ways, he finds moments for encouragement. 

 

0:20:43 – Brian

It’s pretty incredible. 

 

0:20:44 – Kayla

There was another powerful statement, and again we’re going to let you, the listener, sit with your own takeaways, so we’re just going to share a few of ours. It’s easy to look everywhere for relief, and I thought that was very powerful and we’re all guilty of it, but realizing that when we have nowhere else to turn, we can and should turn to Christ. 

 

0:21:08 – Brian

That moved me. 

 

0:21:09 – Kayla

So powerful. 

 

0:21:10 – Brian

That just. 

 

0:21:11 – Kayla

Because we all have our crutches. 

 

0:21:13 – Brian

It reminds me of a phrase that my friend Rock Collins once said. He says I’ve reached the bottom and it was there that I found the solid rock. Phew Adam said I can’t remember what a day without pain is like. That can’t remember what a day without pain is like. 

 

0:21:35 – Kayla

That. That’s a foreign concept to me, because I have many pain-free days. I wasn’t in college starting to deal with a debilitating illness, yeah, collapsed lung, I mean just the very thought of how many. 

 

It took them 13 years to get a diagnosis it’s unimaginable. It was sweet seeing how, in times of great stress, god gave each of them strengths and continues to. We even saw this sitting with them at lunch that day. He cracks jokes and it was interesting. I learned something about Adam that typically when he’s trying to use humor it’s because he’s deflecting something else. So I will be mindful to that moving forward. But Trisha is me. In stressful situations she becomes the take charge get answers. 

 

0:22:23 – Brian

What do I do? 

 

0:22:24 – Kayla

You freak out, and that’s OK. It’s just in the moment when there is a stressful situation. 

 

0:22:30 – Brian

I feel so manly right now. 

 

0:22:34 – Kayla

I felt this tug in my heart that God gives her the strength in those moments to be his advocate. He even called her that and it was very beautiful, and that’s how it looks sometimes. So yeah, and it was very beautiful, and that’s how it looks sometimes. 

 

0:22:47 – Brian

So yeah, I love seeing in the room to build on what you’re saying, is that her role of being an advocate and seeing how God has meshed them together. 

 

0:22:59 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:22:59 – Brian

And they complement each other. 

 

0:23:01 – Kayla

Oh, they really do. 

 

0:23:02 – Brian

Because as the stress gets higher, he gets funnier. 

 

0:23:07 – Kayla

And she gets serious. 

 

0:23:13 – Brian

And she has to ask questions. So I find it interesting how God puts our lives together. 

 

0:23:16 – Kayla

Yeah, and it was really special seeing them together and realizing how perfect they are for each other. There was one other thing that Adam said in this part and again we’re excited to share the second episode next week but he referred to stewarding it. Well, will others be drawn to Christ because of how he handles these struggles? And he and Trisha both reference this because, after 10 minutes with them, I cannot imagine a more authentic way to sum them up is that they want to steward this struggle Well that’s a foreign concept to me. 

 

0:23:57 – Brian

I got to be honest with you because I want it to get over. 

 

0:24:01 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:24:02 – Brian

You’re looking for an out, I’m looking for an out. I’m looking for relief. He’s looking to how to steward it well, how to live it well. That killed me. Trisha made a statement that if the Lord’s enough to get us to eternity, then he’s enough to get us through today. That’s going to become a little quote card for me, because there are days when I feel like he has abandoned me, that he doesn’t care, that he’s left me. But I look at them and I’m not caring near what they’re carrying. And so be of good cheer, be of hope that if he keeps his promises that Jesus came just to die for us and yet he’s going to get us to heaven, well then, certainly he can get us through the problems of today. We hope that you’ve been encouraged by today’s podcast. We know that we have been. 

 

0:24:54 – Kayla

Our hearts have been encouraged, and we want to end with something special. So for the first two people who go to our website and answer this question correctly, you will win a peas and carrots coffee mug and some cute stickers. We always refer to them correctly. You will win a peas and carrots coffee mug and some cute stickers. We always refer to them. But when you go to our website, look for the trivia button. Click that. You’ll go to the peasandcarrotspodcast.com website. Click that trivia button. Share with us a verse that sustains you in times of struggle. That’s good, and we will actually share that with Adam and Trisha. Oh so if will actually share that with Adam and Trisha, oh so if you will do that, we’re not going to ask you a cutesy trivia question this week. We want to encourage the encouragers. 

 

0:25:38 – Brian

What’s a verse that carries you through hard times? Simply go to our website peasandcarrotspodcast.com, look for the trivia button and answer that question. 

 

0:25:47 – Kayla

Share that verse with us. There you go. You can search the Peas and Carrots Podcast wherever you get your podcasts, or visit our website peasandcarrotspodcast.com. When you do, please don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast. 

 

0:25:58 – Brian

You can also follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast. 

 

0:26:03 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Life’s not perfect. That’s why God gave us friends like Melody and Candi. Check out QuirksBumpsandBruises.com, or search Quirks, Bumps, and Bruises wherever you listen to podcasts. 

 

 

FACEBOOK

INSTAGRAM

Season 3, Episode 10: Biggest Fan

Biggest Fan - Episode Description

Join us this week on Peas and Carrots Podcast for a heartwarming and hilarious journey through the daily dance of our lives together. We share the ins and outs of trying to stick to new habits and routines, from daily trackers to a clever snack bucket system that keeps us on the path to healthier choices. Laugh along as we confess to the quirks in our habit-maintaining strategies and reveal our weekend plans to finally take down our Christmas tree.

We open up about the strength of support and encouragement in a marriage, emphasizing the need for both partners to be each other’s biggest fans. As we chat, you’ll discover the humor and humility in swapping household roles and the comedic results that can ensue. Our conversation is an ode to the idea that being there for each other through thick and thin fortifies a relationship, especially when facing the trials of everyday life. So tune in to hear how we navigate these dynamics with love, laughter, and a touch of grace.

In this installment, we also share some interesting facts about ourselves, discussing everything from the trivial frustrations of ‘reply all’ emails to the more profound personal struggles like dealing with nightmares. We reflect on the ways we each show up in the world, hiding our vulnerabilities behind loudness or stoicism. We’ll also have a few laughs as we share some of our comical quirks. So, grab your headphones, settle in, and let’s share life from our piece of the vegetable patch.

Biggest Fan - Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 

 

0:00:11 – Kayla

Welcome to the Peas and Carrots Podcast. 

 

0:00:13 – Brian

I’m Brian and I’m Kayla, and thanks for being here this week. Right before, I mean just 10 seconds ago, before I press this button to record…

 

0:00:21 – Kayla

Uh-huh. 

 

0:00:22 – Brian

We were having a marital moment.

 

0:00:28 – Kayla

It wasn’t a big deal. When we test the microphones. I always say hello there, and you always growl and say mic check one, two right so I got a little sideways and said what is wrong with me saying hello there? So I admit I just got a lesson as to why the mic check one. Two is important is to make sure that my p’s are not popping well, and also it’s so my t’s don’t sound like and so it’s a long still think I should be able to say hello there. I’ll tell you what baby? 

 

you say whatever so anyway, hello there um, I’ll tell you what baby you say, whatever you want. 

 

0:01:06 – Brian

So anyway, hello there. Y’all see what she did there, don’t you? 

 

0:01:11 – Kayla

How are we doing with our new habits? We’re keeping a daily tracker. 

 

0:01:15 – Brian

We’ve changed the way we grocery shop. I did great during February. It’s March, whatever, and I haven’t. I got to copy that over. 

 

0:01:22 – Kayla

Have you even created it? No, there’s only one more week of March. 

 

0:01:30 – Brian

I’ll start in April. Oh, I forgot all about that. I even have a little daily reminder, and he hasn’t asked no he hasn’t asked. Well then, why am? 

 

0:01:39 – Kayla

I filling this out because I haven’t missed a day. Okay, technically I think I missed yesterday. 

 

0:01:45 – Brian

Okay, see now. This is a perfect illustration of the difference between B and K. 

 

0:01:49 – Kayla

K is very detailed, and that is what I hoped was going to come out here. K is very detailed you seriously have not done March at all. I’ve not copied that over yet and Jesse has not asked. 

 

0:02:00 – Brian

No, because I’m killing myself in there. 

 

0:02:03 – Kayla

You are. We’ll come back to that, but. 

 

0:02:06 – Brian

I’ve not kept up with a single day. 

 

0:02:08 – Kayla

See, I guess we should explain what this is. In the morning we have certain habits that we can choose, like I am choosing to drink 20 ounces of pure water before 10 am, and then I’m choosing to do that again between 10 and 2. And then after 4, I am weaving in some like healthy vitamins. I’m choosing to do that again between 10 and 2, and then after 4,. I am weaving in some healthy vitamins. I’m journaling. I’m reading one chapter a day for leadership or personal growth. 

 

0:02:34 – Brian

What are you journaling? 

 

0:02:35 – Kayla

You just journal your thoughts. I keep a gratitude journal. I sometimes write down thoughts about the day I ain’t got time for that. Well, obviously you ain’t got time to fill out a habit tracker. 

 

0:02:48 – Brian

Well, mine had. I can’t remember what mine had on it. It was like drink water, but I can’t. 

 

0:02:55 – Kayla

But we do like a weekly snack budget or bucket, sorry, not well, we do budget for it, but we keep a snack bucket. We keep a fruit bucket, budget for it, but we keep a snack bucket. We keep a fruit bucket. It’s just weaving in some new habits so that if we are hungry you will go get a fruit bowl instead of we don’t keep crackers and chips and it’s very sad our pantry is very sad so, but our fridge is very happy, well, so yeah, what are we doing this weekend? 

 

0:03:28 – Brian

Oh Well, I know that this is so if people need to feel better about themselves oh. Oh, we’re taking down the Christmas tree. 

 

0:03:36 – Kayla

We are. 

 

0:03:38 – Brian

But I still like it being out. 

 

0:03:39 – Kayla

Well, it’s a winter tree. We turned it into a winter, but it’s spring. It’s officially spring. 

 

0:03:45 – Brian

I’m in a hoodie today. 

 

0:03:46 – Kayla

It is cold outside, but still Okay. So it’s coming down. For those of you who may feel like you’re behind in life, you’re not. 

 

0:03:54 – Brian

I’ll get to see the right corner of the TV for the first time in like 120 days. 

 

0:03:59 – Kayla

That’d be pretty awesome For the record. You are the one that asked me to leave the tree up. I am you. You are the record. 

 

0:04:04 – Brian

You are the one that asked me to leave the trio. I am, you are. I don’t mean I can’t complain about it. Just because I like it doesn’t mean I’m not going to complain about it. 

 

0:04:10 – Kayla

So there was a moment this morning. 

 

0:04:12 – Brian

Here we go. 

 

0:04:15 – Kayla

You have really I’ve got to brag on you. You have really stepped up with your workouts. You braved going to our trainer and telling him I need more, I need more intensity. 

 

0:04:25 – Brian

I’m down like 104 pounds you are. I’m down another pant size, but there was a very funny moment this morning. I’m on this exercise bike. I normally do like two miles and I’m at like 40 RPM. Okay, and that’s comfortable for me, I’ll do that. Well, he’s been challenging me to like really step up the pace. 

 

0:04:47 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:04:48 – Brian

So I went walking and I walked a mile and I cut six minutes off my one minute mile. Then I got on that bike and he’s like all right, let’s just crank it up. Well, I went as hard as I could. I had that mug up to like 54, 55 RPM and I went like over half a mile, like 0.6, almost overheated and I used that phrase. 

 

0:05:11 – Kayla

And this is how she, You’re not a car Well. 

 

0:05:18 – Brian

I started seeing stars. That’s the only phrase I could come up with. Overheated. Well yes, I mean that’s the best word I could come up with overheated. Well, yes, I mean that’s the best word I could come up with. And so I crawled off that bike and I’m sitting there on the box and Jesse, our trainer, comes up. He says you OK? I said no, I almost overheated. Then he got tickled and started laughing at me and that kind of stuff. But it’s working. I’ll say that I mean. 

 

0:05:42 – Kayla

You’re doing great. In all seriousness, you are pushing yourself so hard. 

 

0:05:47 – Brian

As are you and I can see the results. 

 

0:05:50 – Kayla

I really can. You’re feeling good about yourself. You had to buy some new blue jeans. 

 

0:05:55 – Brian

And a new belt. 

 

0:05:56 – Kayla

Even suspenders weren’t cutting it anymore. 

 

0:05:58 – Brian

So and your clothes are looking great, I mean you always do look classy. 

 

0:06:05 – Kayla

Oh, you’re very kind, but I did have to go down a size in all my pants. 

 

0:06:10 – Brian

And yeah. 

 

0:06:11 – Kayla

So, Finally from our cabbage patch. 

 

0:06:15 – Brian

Can I just say something? I am proud of myself, I’m proud of you, but y’all, we can’t walk or move in the evenings. Heating pads and Advil, and the next morning is just awful. 

 

0:06:26 – Kayla

We just grunt and groan. 

 

0:06:27 – Brian

Snap, crackle, pop when you get up. 

 

0:06:31 – Kayla

Many have asked. 

 

0:06:33 – Brian

Yes. 

 

0:06:34 – Kayla

How is my hip doing, and thank you to all who have asked. I can tell you when a front’s coming, so I do still have some fluid on my hip. It’s not as large, it’s not as pronounced, I guess, is the word I’m looking for. That’s a good word. And sitting for long periods is not as painful as it was. But I’m not ready to sign up for a marathon just yet. But hey, guess what it’s going to rain tomorrow. My hip tells me. 

 

0:07:05 – Brian

Kayla “the weathervane” Sanders. You had a conversation with a friend the other night about supporting one another in like ministry, because her and her husband are in ministry and we’re in ministry together, and that’s what led to this topic. Okay, yeah. So from there, why don’t you kind of ease us into this topic a little bit? 

 

0:07:34 – Kayla

Well, you and I have had this conversation several times over the last few months, but it did come up and it got me to thinking. What does it look like to support each other and to show up for each other in a relationship? Now, yes, this can be friendship, this can be family, this can be marriage. We are going to spend a good portion of the time talking about marriage, because we’re talking about B and K and how we do this for each other, or I guess I should say pea and carrot. There we go, but okay, it feels really weird to refer to yourself as vegetable. But anyway, what we’ve come to realize is that we are each other’s biggest fan, and so we want to unpack that and spend a little time For me, one of the first things I want to share I could not have navigated the career that I’ve had without your full and unwavering support. 

 

0:08:35 – Brian

And you’ll always have it, always. I feel like that’s part of the reason why God made me. That’s my role as a husband. That’s what I’m supposed to do. I’m supposed to cheer you, I’m supposed to support you. So, yeah, you will always have it For me. I could not be the leader I am without your willingness to be a sounding board and to hold a mirror up to me to show me who I really am, because I am very naive. I believe the best about people and I believe the best about me, and that’s part of my broken. So I need you to hold up a mirror sometimes. Say B, do you see this? 

 

0:09:17 – Kayla

Yeah, that also comes with caution, though. There are times when, as a spouse, if your person is really struggling, that may not be the time to hold up the mirror, just even if you know that there’s something that needs to be addressed, as with all things, kind of read the room on when you might need to. I did not say that, but I do try to be very careful. If you’ve had a really tough week and it’s come with a lot of hits, I’m probably not going to like pile on at that moment. 

 

0:09:54 – Brian

So pile on spaghetti and meat sauce. 

 

0:09:58 – Kayla

We just had lunch, but does that matter? We’re no, it’s time. 

 

0:10:02 – Brian

We’re hungry all the time now. 

 

0:10:05 – Kayla

This may be an unpopular opinion, but neither of our careers is superior to the other. We aren’t threatened by how God’s using the other or blessing the other, and there have been seasons where it feels like God has given a bounty to you in what you’re doing. And then there have been seasons where I’ve been the receiver of good gifts and we’re not the couple that one outshines the other. 

 

0:10:37 – Brian

So, building on that, let me say this we are each other’s advocates. 

 

0:10:40 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:10:41 – Brian

We don’t compete, you know. 

 

0:10:44 – Kayla

I am your biggest cheerleader and you are mine. 

 

0:10:46 – Brian

Yes, so let me so let me say this. It’s a huge flaw of mine. Whenever you’re venting to me or you’re sharing your heart, I oftentimes want to recommend solutions, and if I had a $10 bill for every time that you’ve said to me baby, just listen. 

 

0:11:09 – Kayla

I’m not asking you to fix anything. We could retire tomorrow. 

 

0:11:14 – Brian

We could retire tomorrow. But I got these great solutions, but for you, you just need to get this stuff off your heart, yeah. 

 

0:11:22 – Kayla

I have learned to say up front though, I’m not looking for a solution. 

 

0:11:28 – Brian

How’s that working out? 

 

0:11:29 – Kayla

It’s gotten better. 

 

You have you really have gotten better at? Just I can tell you’re twitching a little bit because you just really want to fix it, but you are trying just to listen and not go in. But that’s one of your strengths as a leader is you’re a problem solver and you are a fixer. But sometimes I’m coming to you as a spouse and I’ve even said that, haven’t I? I’ve said to you B, I’m coming to you as K, not as one of your team members right now, and so that helps. There are seasons we have both seen this where I may need to carry more of the load at home due to outside work, and there are seasons where you may need to carry more of the work at home. 

 

0:12:15 – Brian

Okay, and speaking of, let me just say this, let me just say this up front. This, let me just say this up front the only way I can carry more of the load at home is like by helping to cook with food and cooking pick up dinner why don’t you wash clothes b? This has been over 30 years ago. Okay, I think you can trust me now nope what did you use? Too much of bleach and it put white splotches all over my clothes my clothes. I thought this happened before we got married. 

 

0:12:44 – Kayla

Oh, you tried this. You also shrunk one of my wool sweaters and it fit my friend’s four-year-old daughter. 

 

0:12:50 – Brian

I think that was somebody else, but I can cook and go pick up food. 

 

0:12:53 – Kayla

What else do you try to keep clean for us? 

 

0:12:55 – Brian

My bathroom. But there’s a definition, there’s a moving definition of clean. 

 

0:13:03 – Kayla

Yeah, but here’s the thing We’ve learned that it’s a privilege to come alongside each other and show tangible ways to be a support in busy times. It’s not like there’s this job description that we stick rigidly to, especially in busy seasons, I agree. 

 

0:13:21 – Brian

Now I in busy seasons, I agree. Now I do not wash clothes. No, I wash dishes. But if I wash them, I rewash them. 

 

0:13:32 – Kayla

Well, sometimes you just use that little wand and you haven’t put any soap on it. 

 

0:13:37 – Brian

There is soap in the wand. 

 

0:13:39 – Kayla

No, there’s not anyway. 

 

0:13:41 – Brian

All right, moving on. 

 

0:13:42 – Kayla

Back. There’s not, anyway, all right. Moving on back to the cheerleader. You have always been my biggest cheerleader because you challenge me when I embrace negative self-talk. You encourage me when I’m trying something new or scary, and you know my tells, you know what’s going on when I’m scared or when I’m afraid to take a risk. You offer help without expecting to receive the credit or the spotlight, although I am quick to give shout outs when you do. 

 

0:14:09 – Brian

That’s a very big gift of yours. 

 

0:14:10 – Kayla

But you can tell when I’m stuck. 

 

0:14:14 – Brian

Yes. 

 

0:14:15 – Kayla

And so you will cheer me on. This is the big thing here. You don’t allow me to give up or walk away from something. 

 

0:14:23 – Brian

You will make me stick it out because you see my potential and you want me to live into it yeah, there’s nothing I’m so grateful for that there’s nothing because I’ve done a lot of stuff scared I mean, you have embraced what god has given you and there’s nothing worse than walking away from that. 

 

0:14:42 – Kayla

Well, I had a great teacher, and he’s sitting across from me. 

 

0:14:46 – Brian

Let me just say this is that Kay is my rock and she steadies me. You speak life to me because I can spiral pretty quick. I can get very, I can get very down. I doubt myself so much and my personality type is that I will take care of everybody else but I’m going to ignore myself and you make sure that Brian gets taken care of. So thank you for that. I mean that, thank you. 

 

0:15:16 – Kayla

So the bottom line is this A relationship based on genuine love is one in which you’re constantly dying to yourself, and what that looks like is it’s easy to fall into that trap that I am more important than you are, my needs are more important than you are, my career is more important than you are. When you love a person and you see them as made in the image of Christ, you choose to cherish them and put them first. 

 

0:15:45 – Brian

I could not agree more. And scripture even says to husbands to love your wife, as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her. In other words, I’m supposed to even be willing to give up my life for you, and I do that in certain circumstances. Okay. 

 

0:16:06 – Kayla

On that note. 

 

0:16:07 – Brian

I’m kidding. In any circumstance, I believe that that’s my calling and that’s what I’m supposed to do, and I just want to say this baby, thank you for believing in me and supporting me. 

 

0:16:17 – Kayla

Right back at you. 

 

0:16:21 – Brian

Well, this should be fun, Just a few random facts about us. Okay. 

 

0:16:27 – Kayla

I hate to drive oh. 

 

0:16:29 – Brian

I don’t mind driving, I don’t mind taking you places. 

 

0:16:32 – Kayla

It is a necessary evil for me Now. You don’t want me driving after dark. I have night vision issues. 

 

0:16:40 – Brian

And let me say this and if it’s like more than two or three turns, I will take you, because you get prone to get. 

 

0:16:48 – Kayla

I won’t come back to that one. It might be on my list. 

 

0:16:51 – Brian

I hate to be bored. 

 

0:16:52 – Kayla

Oh, my goodness, yes. 

 

0:16:54 – Brian

I like to be entertained, which? 

 

0:16:56 – Kayla

is part of why you read so much, I think, because it gives you something to do. 

 

0:17:00 – Brian

Yeah, but I can’t read so much, I think, because it gives you something to do. Yeah, but I can’t stand, I cannot stand to be bored. I need to have a show, a book. There needs to be a person talking to me, yep. Or like this morning when I got up oh my gosh 4.30 in the morning. 

 

0:17:16 – Kayla

Ok, no, I had to go to the bathroom. No, I just need to get this out? 

 

0:17:21 – Brian

No, I looked out the window, and what? 

 

0:17:27 – Kayla

do I see there where your flowers are planted around the mailbox? Do I need to know at 430 in the morning that deer are eating my plant?

 

0:17:32 – Brian

Kay, come here, come look at this. I peeped my head. I said, kay, I was whispering. 

 

0:17:37 – Kayla

It doesn’t matter that you were whispering what it’s 430 in the morning I said come look, anyway, moving on. 

 

0:17:45 – Brian

If it’d been a bear, you’d have come look, wouldn’t you, mm-mm, not at 4.30. 

 

0:17:48 – Kayla

Really, go with God, bear Zombies. 

 

0:17:52 – Brian

Nope, okay. 

 

0:17:54 – Kayla

I love gardening, but I’m known for killing houseplants. 

 

0:17:58 – Brian

Houseplant assassin right here. Now you’ve got this one in the kitchen. That’s just going nuts. 

 

0:18:03 – Kayla

I ignore it, I do. It has beautiful sunlight where it sits and I basically just pour leftover water from the coffee pot on it Now each week I’m going to say something I’ve thought for years. 

 

0:18:15 – Brian

You know, every week we go to Kroger and we grocery shop and your first stop is a little flower section. You’ll buy a couple of bouquets of flowers. You ever wonder if those flowers are like screaming their guts out because they’ve been cut. Like you know, they’ve been cut off from their life source and all those bouquets are just going because they’re just sitting there legless. No, that doesn’t cross your mind. 

 

0:18:41 – Kayla

Moving on. Speaking of flowers. 

 

0:18:44 – Brian

But you love flowers? I do, and you do too. But you have a confession here. I love looking at them, but I could care less if I plant them.

 

0:18:52 – Kayla

Well, that’s why we get them. 

 

0:18:55 – Brian

I remember that we used to down in New Orleans. We planned this little garden. We put tomatoes and beans and peas and that’s about eight weeks in I realized I could walk over to the grocery store and spend five dollars and buy more than what this is producing. So no, I’m not into that. That’s just me. But I know that that makes you happy, happy, yes. 

 

0:19:16 – Kayla

In conjunction with my fear not fear of driving, I just hate driving. I do have an irrational fear of getting lost. When we go somewhere new, I have to remind myself. There are apps with maps. I can find my way home, but I am not good in situations where I don’t know where we’re going. And again, I have a tell you can figure out and you’ll assure me that everything’s good. 

 

0:19:43 – Brian

You know where we are Start taking that little hand, scratching that little head. Oh, just like this, Just sitting there scratching it. I know I said okay, we’ve entered. I struggle with having nightmares. 

 

0:19:55 – Kayla

And. 

 

0:19:55 – Brian

I have them probably twice a week. I’m part of the 3% of Americans who actually struggle with this. 

 

0:20:01 – Kayla

We have learned, though it’s your brain doing what? 

 

0:20:04 – Brian

Processing? Processing things, yeah, and the way it does, that is through nightmares occasionally and I’ve been the doctor and therapist that kind of stuff. 

 

0:20:12 – Kayla

So okay, I’m going to go ahead and apologize for this. Oh, okay, I’m going to go ahead and apologize for this. Nothing makes me crazier than reply all email threads. I’m sorry. I get that they are sometimes necessary, but I would prefer to reply personally to people. And yet then comes the next person who hits reply all and yet then comes the next person who hits reply all, and then I feel like a heel because people think I’m never responding but I am I’m typically doing it one-on-one, though, so okay, well, I’m not a fan of email overall I know you’re not 

 

but I mean, if it has more than four lines, I’m click delete I have to tell you the beginning in the end or the middle, because you read the beginning and the end. 

 

0:20:59 – Brian

I hate email. I hate entering my password using a TV remote control. 

 

0:21:07 – Kayla

So like when Netflix signs itself out or your Apple TV goes down. 

 

0:21:12 – Brian

It is the dumbest thing. But my anger level can go from zero to 60 in one second. I mean I am down the highway. I get so upset about that. It’s the dumbest thing. But my anger level can go from zero to 60 in one second. I mean I am down the highway. 

 

0:21:21 – Kayla

I get so upset about that First world problems that we live with. 

 

0:21:23 – Brian

Create something that will read I mean, MacBook has it, apple has it. You just read your fingerprint. Do that with that remote. I feel better now. 

 

0:21:33 – Kayla

Okay, kind of like me with the emails, All right. So one thing about my personality. I’ll end with this. I can present myself as very stoic. Hello, I’m British, but I feel things very deeply and. I care very personally, you do, so those two things can often kind of seem contradictory. 

 

0:21:54 – Brian

I’ll say this is that sometimes the outside doesn’t match the inside. I was a compliment, oh okay. I mean, you appear very stoic, but you’ve got a lot happening. 

 

0:22:07 – Kayla

There’s a lot going on. 

 

0:22:08 – Brian

Yeah, yeah. 

 

0:22:10 – Kayla

But I was taught you know stiff upper lip. 

 

0:22:12 – Brian

Yeah, that’s that British in you, but on the inside, I may be like in tears. 

 

0:22:17 – Kayla

Yeah, whereas for me it’s all out there, baby okay, that was a little what’s your last one. 

 

0:22:23 – Brian

You did not have to answer that so quickly I didn’t say I don’t like it about you no, but you answered it just like that boom. Okay, I’m sorry no, you’re not read your last I’m loud revelation about yourself I’m loud, I’m boisterous and it’s usually a shield to get you to like or even accept me and usually to help you look past my size no and let you see me as a person now. I’m not going to change who I am. 

 

0:22:51 – Kayla

I’m loud, I’m boisterous you’re a roaming party is what I call you. 

 

0:22:57 – Brian

But these days I got to be home by 830. 

 

0:23:00 – Kayla

Party’s got to end on time. Party’s got to end about 8:30. Okay, good to know so there’s that, hey. 

 

0:23:05 – Brian

It’s been our joy to spend this time with you and we’d like to give you a coffee mug and a pack of stickers and news. There’s a bunch more peas and carrots swag coming our way. 

 

0:23:17 – Kayla

There is, so stay tuned. But the first two people who go to our website and answer our trivia question, you will win a peas and carrots coffee mug, some stickers and apparently some of you are getting pens. Oh, and that was a very funny story that fell out this week Our dear friend Adam he’s my executive assistant. 

 

This is a teaser he and his wife will be joining our podcast soon. Yes, Adam actually includes a pen for the Encouraging Radio brand, which is part of our PAR family, right, well, someone thought that they accidentally got a pen. 

 

0:23:52 – Brian

So hey, are y’all missing a pen by accident? 

 

0:23:54 – Kayla

So nope, the pen was purposeful, it was there. A pen by accident? So nope, the pen was purposeful, it was there. But if you will click our website, yeah, you go to peasandcarrotspodcast.com. 

 

0:24:03 – Brian

Click on the trivia button and answer this question. 

 

0:24:07 – Kayla

Share with us one random fact about yourself. 

 

0:24:10 – Brian

Now look, please don’t put on there like how many moles or warts you got. 

 

0:24:15 – Kayla

Or you killed somebody in 1985. Right, we don’t need that, we don’t need to know that, but just one random fact about yourself. 

 

0:24:23 – Brian

So you go to peasandcarrotspodcast.com. 

 

0:24:25 – Kayla

Click that trivia button and you can win. Answer that question. You’ll win a coffee mug and some stickers and a pen. 

 

0:24:31 – Brian

So thanks for listening. Hey, you can search the Peas and Parrots. 

 

0:24:37 – Kayla

Peas and Carrots Podcast wherever you get your podcast or visit our website peasandcarrotspodcast.com and, when you do, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast. You can follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast.

 

0:24:54 – Brian

Peas and parrots. 

 

0:24:55 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Growing through the challenges we face and finding hope along the way. That’s the Jesus Fix It Podcast with Jess. Check out jesusfixit.com or search Jesus Fix It wherever you listen to podcasts. 

 

FACEBOOK

INSTAGRAM

Season 3, Episode 7: Bye, Busy Bee

Bye, Busy Bee - Episode Description

Welcome to the Peas and Carrots Podcast, where the ordinary becomes extraordinary through a symphony of laughter. Your hosts, Brian and Kayla Sanders, invite you into their world of marital mirth and everyday absurdities. This episode takes a deep dive into the comedic side of marriage and life’s most mundane moments. Listen in as they share heartwarming and hilarious stories from their personal “vegetable patch” of life.

They take you on a journey of their shared life, revealing the quirks and quips of their marriage. From their comedic crusade against dirty dishes to answered prayers, Brian and Kayla show how laughter and self-awareness are the key ingredients to their marital journey. This podcast is not just about listening, but about engaging with the stories and finding yourself nodding and laughing along. Whether it’s Kayla’s confession of a spoon-assisted mayo spread or Brian’s, this podcast promises to add a dash of laughter to your day. So pull up a chair, and prepare to embrace the laughter with the Peas and Carrots Podcast.

Bye, Busy Bee - Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 

 

0:00:11 – Kayla

Welcome to the Peas and Carrots Podcast. I’m Brian and I’m Kayla.

 

0:00:14 – Brian

Welcome to this week’s edition of “what’s growin’ in the vegetable patch.”

 

0:00:18 – Kayla

Well, well, we have a variety of things. We any of them moldy? 

 

0:00:24 – Brian

Oh, I hope not. Oh, we have to throw away strawberries. 

 

0:00:27 – Kayla

That brain of yours is a magical place. We did have to throw away strawberries the other day. We had some pretty nasty strawberries. I opened the, so I always Wash them and cut them and put them in a container. And when I open the container, you declared what. 

 

0:00:44 – Brian

Oh, something’s rotten Kind of hit us. Yeah, anyway, okay we’re very random. 

 

0:00:51 – Kayla

Well so I am officially. Where did I leave my heating pad? Stage of life and she’s got to, I do. 

 

0:01:00 – Brian

She’s got a little avocado one which she just clears. Quote is the cutest y’all this thing is fantastic Okay. I do not work for this company. 

 

0:01:08 – Kayla

Hold on, I have to share this. It’s shaped like an avocado, it’s a little stuffed avocado and it has dried like Wheatgrass or something and lavender, so when you heat it that legal wheatgrass. Well, I mean, I hope so. I bought it off Amazon, but it’s amazing. So not only does it like work as a heating pad, but it also Provides relaxation because you have the lavender. 

 

0:01:33 – Brian

So yeah, and then you got a second one and it’s got like little corn. I will corn yeah you like that one. Every time you warm it up, I smell like pop, yeah, like we’re having popcorn so but here I am. 

 

0:01:46 – Kayla

This is who I am now and you put on your leg. 

 

0:01:48 – Brian

We’re you fell. Yes, it’s helping a lot, so so Okay gentlemen, no, ma’am, ladies and gentlemen, we have an update. 

 

0:01:58 – Kayla

You’ve been waiting for two weeks to share this. 

 

0:02:01 – Brian

Yes, I have a while back on the podcast, uh-huh. 

 

0:02:05 – Kayla

a major topic was I Spread mayonnaise with a spoon and I normally still to this day Spread mayo with a knife. 

 

0:02:18 – Brian

We were at dinner the other evening. I was being lazy and she took a spoon and spread mayo. 

 

0:02:25 – Kayla

Yeah, and I will never live this down. 

 

0:02:28 – Brian

And, as my dad would say, you, you just lathered that bread up with that spoon, with that mayo and you have not let me live it down. Well come to how the rest of the world, oh, no, no, no, no, oh yes, yes, yes, I will march my little tail across the kitchen for a night next week. 

 

You got to use that little word. I put a splash in my cup of tea and now you have fallen down to where the rest of us are. Spread mayo with a spoon. Okay, the queen is off her throne.

 

0:03:00 – Kayla

Whatever. I need to give a shout out to our delightful neighbors, and these are not the ones that were bugging me with the Christmas lights, even though Jesus checked my heart. They turned their lights from Christmas lights to Valentine lights, and now they are St. Patrick’s Day lights. 

 

They got all green and I, just just to show that I’m not a complete troll, I love the festive nature of it, so a troll? Well, when you’re grumbling about someone’s Christmas lights maybe you will, but I don’t think it’s a troll, but no, I just, I am loving it and I’m here for this every evening I get to see their green St. Patrick lights and it’s just awesome. 

 

0:03:38 – Brian

So, yes, thank you to them and this week you had a very emotional moment. 

 

0:03:44 – Kayla

I did. 

 

0:03:45 – Brian

God answered a significant prayer. Yeah, that you’ve been praying for how long. 

 

0:03:51 – Kayla

Nine years. 

 

0:03:54 – Brian

We’re not gonna get into the details of it. 

 

0:03:56 – Kayla

No, I don’t. I don’t really want to do that at this time, but I have been praying something very, very specific and God answered it this week. So I say, do not quit talking to him. If there’s something that’s just burning within you, just keep coming before him. You know what? I’m happy until he makes it clear either yes or no you know what I’m happy about? 

 

0:04:21 – Brian

Yeah, it wasn’t like get rid of B, because I’m still here. Oh Well, on that note, anyway, it’s just saying but it was a y’all, I’m just saying don’t, I agree with her, don’t quit praying. The Lord hears you, he does and he will answer in his time. That’s what this is proof of and that’s a little frustrating at times. 

 

0:04:42 – Kayla

Oh yeah. 

 

0:04:45 – Brian

What are we learning about rest? Mm-hmm almost start here. I fall asleep at what time now? 

 

0:04:53 – Kayla

Okay, you have become that person, now that at 7:30 at night, you are zoning out did not have to open this up with. 

 

0:05:00 – Brian

You have become that person. That’s very judgmental coming from the lady who spreads mayonnaise with a spoon. Okay, it’s your bad habit. 

 

0:05:09 – Kayla

What whole spoon thing Anyway. 

 

I fall asleep now you and I’ve been talking a lot about this topic and we’ve we’ve covered it once before, but it’s worthy of revisiting because it seems to be the elusive for a lot of people, and so we were chatting the other night about as much as I joke it was good to see you resting. You were genuinely relaxed, you were, and so these are just some thoughts we have on real rest. When did I’m so busy, become a badge of honor? Is it perhaps more a defense mechanism, because we fear what people will think if every hour of our day Isn’t filled with something meaningful? 

 

0:06:00 – Brian

I think it’s like I’m more successful than you. I’m busier than you, so I’m more successful. Hmm. And it makes me better than you. 

 

0:06:09 – Kayla

Yeah, it’s like it’s something to be proud of being busy. 

 

0:06:14 – Brian

Now let me say this I think that we think we’re good people if we’re earning something, If we’re busy yeah like I’m trying to earn the boss’s respect, I’m trying to earn the next level up at work. 

 

0:06:29 – Kayla

I’m trying to look more irreplaceable than you. 

 

0:06:32 – Brian

Yes, yeah and so I think that lends toward our busyness. But is it good to be busy at the right things? Yes, but we shouldn’t get our self-worth From that busyness. Yeah, now that’s tough for me Because a lot of my identity is wrapped up in being a leader and being an author and that kind of stuff, and so If I’m not busy, sometimes it becomes does Brian have value? Now I’ve gotten better about that. 

 

0:07:08 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:07:09 – Brian

I have gotten better about that, because I’m trying to learn that my self-worth comes from the love of Christ, not from my efforts, not from my busyness. 

 

0:07:20 – Kayla

Yes so. 

 

Something I have learned the best rest that I can give myself is when my heart is at rest. I’m learning to carve out space for my mind and heart to rest, because we all carry so much heavy stuff and Sometimes resting in Christ looks like trusting him to carry the things that I can’t or shouldn’t carry on my own. And I am. You know, I’m the world’s worst. I’m always worrying about or thinking about something, and I’ve been working really consciously this year to just set things down and let my heart Rest, let my mind have peace, and it’s hard fought. I’m not gonna pretend this is easy. 

 

0:08:17 – Brian

Yeah, we’re different in this respect is that she, like I, can have something going on in my world. Yeah but I have the ability to like Shelf it. Oh, I can’t like. I have the ability like okay, I’ll shelf that and I’ll deal with that tomorrow. No, and you can’t. 

 

0:08:36 – Kayla

I’m constantly trying to either fix it or problem solve it, or repair it or whatever it needs. I’m trying to do that. Either I’m thinking of that next conversation that’s gonna need to take place, or I’m thinking of that next concern that I’m gonna need to address, or, yeah, it’s just cool. 

 

0:08:55 – Brian

So I’m trying. You’re doing great. I Do find it odd that the way that you oftentimes rest is to organize things. 

 

0:09:05 – Kayla

I Do like you learn that. Yeah, look at her smile. She will organize what you’re kind of sharing my secrets here. 

 

0:09:13 – Brian

Well, she loves to organize the pantry, she loves to organize her closet, even though she may have just organized it 30 days ago. 

 

0:09:20 – Kayla

You know it signals what I’m trying to do, what process process something. Yeah, so yeah, but I just find that I’ll rearrange something nine times out of ten, putting it right back the way it was, but yeah, there we are, but you feel better I do, okay, well, that’s what matters. 

 

0:09:36 – Brian

Building on what miss K said about resting in Christ, I Need us to hear this Jesus came because we can’t earn our way to heaven. We are flawed, we are depraved, we are sinful. Okay, so you have to release yourself from the burden that you can work your way to his favor. 

 

Amen you can work your way to his grace, and when you and so what we mean by resting in Christ is you rest in him, that only he Can provide you with the righteousness needed To know God and to know his peace. That’s what we mean by that. It doesn’t mean not doing anything. Now because you are resting in Christ as your only solution. That should lead you to like do things for him. 

 

We should pursue him, we should worship him, we should live our lives in ways that glorify him but those things do not earn favor, they do not earn grace, they do not earn any of that. Yeah, and that’s hard for me, that’s hard for all of us. How many of us wanted our dads to be proud of us? Yeah, I Did, and it’s one of the last things that my dad ever said to me and we carry that over to our relationship with Jesus is that we want him to be proud of us. 

 

0:10:58 – Kayla

So we try to do all this stuff but the truth is, we get to rest in the work that he did. Yes, that’s the beautiful when that really sinks in. Yes, we can truly rest in all that he accomplished on our behalf. 

 

0:11:16 – Brian

So yeah, give yourself a break. Stop trying to earn grace, trying to earn favor. Yeah, lay it down at his feet. 

 

0:11:25 – Kayla

There’s an old saying put on your own oxygen mask first. We’ve all heard that I’m no good to those around me if I haven’t properly rested. So the reason that this is so important for all of us is if we are not taking care of our basic needs, we can’t take care of others because we’re gonna be too exhausted. 

 

0:11:50 – Brian

You’re gonna be snippy not you, but oh. 

 

0:11:53 – Kayla

Well, I admit that in a minute no. 

 

0:11:54 – Brian

I think you’re snippy. 

 

0:11:55 – Kayla

Oh, I am what I’m tired Really. Oh, have you lived with me. 

 

0:12:00 – Brian

Yes, but I wouldn’t use the word snippy. Oh, all right, I Would use the word done like I’m okay, that’s what I would use. 

 

0:12:10 – Kayla

So be. How do you rest? What do you recommend? I check I read a book, yeah. 

 

0:12:15 – Brian

I’ll watch a show. I’ll watch a favorite television series or a favorite movie. I’ll take a nap. 

 

0:12:22 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:12:24 – Brian

I’ll try and take a walk. 

 

0:12:25 – Kayla

I was gonna say, for me it looks like either as you alluded, organizing something, because it helps me to understand. 

 

0:12:34 – Brian

It just helps me to rice like the numbers of rice in a bag. 

 

0:12:39 – Kayla

No, we’re not, we’re gonna not very restful. Sometimes I will read a book, sometimes I will go for a walk just getting some fresh air and clearing my brain, but a lot of times it’s those quiet moments in our house when the day is done, when when the work is finished for now, and it can just be that you and I are sitting in a shared space, and In that moment is when I find that I can truly have rest and it’s very sweet, hmm. 

 

0:13:10 – Brian

but we all go know that there are seasons in our lives that are just chaos. 

 

0:13:18 – Kayla

Yeah, they’re just so busy. They’re just so busy but it’s how we react to that. 

 

There’s so much truth when I find myself and this is what I’m willing to confess If I’m resentful or I’m complaining, easily frustrated or you know this about me if I am highly emotional or sensitive because I’m not normally, I’m not taken to like big emotion swings I can almost always trace it back to being tired, and it may not just be that I’m physically tired. But do I just need to rest? Do I need like a mental break? Or those are tells for me. So I wonder for all of us, what is it that we need to take a look at and evaluate? How am I giving away my tiredness? 

 

0:14:09 – Brian

I’ll be sharp. If I’m tired, I’ll be sharp. Would you agree with that? I mean you do no, I’m just saying would you agree with that? 

 

0:14:18 – Kayla

Well, I mean, I don’t wanna say something that’s gonna hurt your feelings. 

 

0:14:21 – Brian

It’s not gonna hurt my feelings, I don’t have any feelings. 

 

0:14:23 – Kayla

You look cranky when you’re tired, Okay that’s good, impatient.

 

0:14:28 – Brian

We’ll leave it there. Most of the leadership team would say that’s every day he must come exhausted into work every day. 

 

0:14:35 – Kayla

No, it’s a different kind of impatience. So, yeah, it’s very rare that I see it honestly, but it’s a tell for me that you’re tired. 

 

0:14:44 – Brian

But You’ll be like B go eat a cooking, take a nap. Okay, baby, I’m all about a cookie. Go watch a movie, go watch a movie, so y’all keep yourself a break. Yeah, take a nap and rest in him. Don’t try and earn his favor. 

 

0:15:02 – Kayla

And when you say, oh, I’m so busy, is it with passion or is it with gloating? 

 

0:15:10 – Brian

Or complaining. I’m the martyr. Look at me. What’s the tone behind your busy? It’s your motive, yeah, yeah. So you wanted to share some stories this week. 

 

0:15:22 – Kayla

Well, we’re gonna go back to the beginning, okay, so yeah, the first story she wanted to share. 

 

0:15:28 – Brian

Now we work for a radio ministry. 

 

0:15:32 – Kayla

We do. 

 

0:15:33 – Brian

This morning the topic on Spirit FM that Jess had. 

 

0:15:36 – Kayla

Mm-hmm. 

 

0:15:37 – Brian

Was what was something that you did that. 

 

0:15:41 – Kayla

That revealed your laziness, okay. 

 

0:15:44 – Brian

Yeah, I said something to Miss Kayla. 

 

0:15:47 – Kayla

And I shared it with Jess. 

 

0:15:48 – Brian

Yeah, who texted the morning show host, Jess at Spirit FM. So I’m gonna confess this when I was single, before I ever met you. 

 

0:15:57 – Kayla

Oh, it was before we met. Okay. 

 

0:16:00 – Brian

I would go to Walmart, or I would go to Thrift store or to the thrift. Well, it was at that point. I was going to thrift stores, but I’d also go to Walmart, uh-huh, and I would buy the cheapest set of plates and the cheapest set of silverware each week, so I wouldn’t have to wash dishes. 

 

0:16:18 – Kayla

What would you do with them, babe? 

 

0:16:20 – Brian

I’d throw them away. 

 

0:16:21 – Kayla

Why didn’t you just buy paper plates? 

 

0:16:24 – Brian

Because I might have been trying to date certain girls and have them over. 

 

0:16:29 – Kayla

Oh, my gosh. 

 

0:16:30 – Brian

And I didn’t notice. 

 

0:16:31 – Kayla

I’ve never heard this angle. 

 

0:16:32 – Brian

Well, why do you think I didn’t have paper plates? I didn’t think women would be impressed. Y’all should see her face. 

 

0:16:42 – Brian

Do you think you bring them over for dinner and you serve them on paper plates? 

 

0:16:47 – Kayla

So, but what would you do after said date left? What would you do with the plates? I don’t need them on paper. Throw them away. Throw them away. Yes, instead of what. 

 

0:16:58 – Brian

After we started dating, what did you say? 

 

0:17:02 – Kayla

We are not throwing plates away anymore, so I started having to go get paper plate. 

 

0:17:07 – Brian

So but it worked out. I mean, oh my God, you can buy cheap. 

 

0:17:11 – Kayla

See, I’ve been married to you for 30 years and I just learned the angle. That is not true. I did not know Listen, as God is my witness I did not know the reason why you weren’t back. Throw away my pink blanket. The people do not want to hear about your pink blanket. No, you don’t want to hear about your pink blanket. 

 

0:17:30 – Brian

You’re using the people as a shield. 

 

0:17:33 – Kayla

One day, the pink blanket story will be shared. They’ll be on my side. So I’m okay. They’re going to be on my side with this one too. I really missed that. I get, I grew up in a house where there was the grease bucket, and if you’re a good southern person, you know exactly what I’m talking about. You save the grease from your bacon or from your like cooking. I went to pull out. We were about four weeks from getting married. 

 

0:18:00 – Brian

We had been gifted so much stuff that you’re living with your mom and step. 

 

0:18:05 – Kayla

I was still living at home. 

 

0:18:06 – Brian

And I was 10 minutes away in a but. 

 

0:18:08 – Kayla

I was bringing some of our wedding gifts and going ahead and placing them in the cabinet. 

 

0:18:14 – Brian

Before you finish this story, I want to apologize for what happened. Okay, just want to go on the record. I’m sorry, very bad about this, but go ahead, I still have shiny hair. There was so much that is not true. 

 

0:18:25 – Kayla

I pulled out this pot that was in the top cabinet, shoved in the back, and I pulled it out thinking oh, it’s empty. It was full of old grease that when the lid fell off and hit the floor, the grease starts to pour all down me, for my hair, down my shoulders, down my shirt. I think I screamed and you came running. I smelled like old bacon grease for like a week. 

 

0:18:55 – Brian

Can I just say you were real sexy that week. I just want to say that. 

 

0:19:00 – Kayla

Okay, yeah, anyway, not our finest moment. 

 

0:19:06 – Brian

I could have nibbled on your little neck. Stop. Just saying that’s bacon. Not appropriate. Okay. Dogs were chasing her down the street. Stop. 

 

0:19:16 – Kayla

Oh my goodness, we had been married about six months and you knew I really wanted a sit down kitchen table. We did not have one. We had a couple of folding chairs and one of those little card tables and we had saved up some money. We lived in a studio apartment. 

 

0:19:36 – Brian

It was a one bedroom. It was a one bedroom, one bath apartment. It was tiny, and so we went to a furniture store Almost said grocery store, furniture store and we bought a dining room table and I picked one that had eight chairs. Okay, let me just go on the record and say we did not measure the space. That table took up 90% of our living room and dining room, and of those eight, chairs, only two of them could be used. 

 

0:20:03 – Kayla

Yeah. Because that’s how much of the space it took up until we moved into our next home. 

 

0:20:08 – Brian

Yeah so. 

 

0:20:09 – Kayla

So still laugh about that. It was beautiful, but we used two of the eight chairs. 

 

0:20:13 – Brian

You know, when we remodeled our house recently, I thought I had measured the room where we put the shelves of the library and I apparently I mismeasured and I got away with it. We have like a quarter of an inch. 

 

0:20:26 – Kayla

Oh, do we? I was aware of that. The furniture guy told on you. 

 

0:20:30 – Brian

Really, he did? I tipped him really well that day. 

 

0:20:35 – Kayla

He told on you. He said he’s been sweating buckets oh man. I thought yes. So we have a couple of air quotes “parenting stories,” our first attempt at parenting a pet. 

 

0:20:48 – Brian

We got this dog from the family. We went through this rescue and they. 

 

0:20:51 – Kayla

What they were doing is they were re-homing pets that needed to leave their current situation, so we adopted this adorable like four-year-old dog from the family. How long did we make it B?

 

0:21:06 – Brian

One day, we took him back to them the next day. 

 

0:21:09 – Kayla

Because he was so inconsolable and so we called the rescue and they’re like sure you can reach out to the family. They begged to get him back. They had so much regret over their decision to re-home him. The kids were so happy they were so happy to see us coming and we were so relieved because it was the worst night of our lives. He cried and howled all night long. 

 

0:21:35 – Brian

Another bad decision the Sanders made is we adopted a rabbit. 

 

0:21:39 – Kayla

Oh yeah, I don’t recommend this. No, when you live in an apartment. 

 

0:21:45 – Brian

It was not good your dad helped release him into the wild. Yes, so, not our finest moment. No, not our finest moment. So. 

 

0:21:57 – Kayla

Gladly. We waited a good 10 years before we got another pet and then to like set the record straight, we had that one for nearly 15 years, so yeah, this last story. 

 

0:22:07 – Brian

Okay, was this our first or second date? 

 

0:22:12 – Kayla

We were engaged. Oh, we had just gotten engaged. We were going on a date. 

 

0:22:19 – Brian

And you look at me as we’re leaving. I think your parents’ trailer and you said “do you like my skirt?” 

 

0:22:28 – Kayla

And this is the response I get. “I’m not a huge fan. The pattern looks like deck chair material. I’d change if I were you.” There are moments be when women don’t necessarily want complete honesty. This was a moment for you and yes, somehow here we are 30 years later. 

 

0:22:51 – Brian

Our whole life flashed before my eyes in that 30 seconds after I said it. I’m just going to say it we are. But here we are nearly 31 years later. 

 

0:23:00 – Kayla

Yeah, we’re on our 31st year, wow, and you have never, ever, ever criticized anything. I’ve worn since then, if you like it by it baby baby it’s so pretty. 

 

0:23:13 – Brian

Called my skirt, deck, chair material. Well, it was baby. It looked like a beach ball had been wrapped around you. That’s what it looked like it was the style back then? 

 

0:23:24 – Kayla

No, it wasn’t. Anyway, we hope you’ve had a little fun with these Two way. 

 

0:23:28 – Brian

My pink blanket and I didn’t like it Okay, we’re going to go here. 

 

0:23:32 – Kayla

No, we’re not. 

 

0:23:33 – Brian

No, we’re not no no, no, the good people. 

 

0:23:35 – Kayla

We are going to go here. She has got her finger up. I am telling this story. We were, so you asked for this. We were a month from getting married and we, of course, we had had like seven or eight wedding showers and we had been given some beautiful new linens, towels, blankets, all of it. I was at the new apartment putting together all of like the bedroom and everything like that. There was a blanket that you call it pink. It was really more of a light brown. It was so dirty. It used to be pink and the whole middle of the blanket was a hole. There was no middle, so I assumed. 

 

0:24:25 – Brian

I assumed. 

 

0:24:27 – Kayla

No, uh-uh. Either way, what you call light pink was so dirty, it was more of a brown color. 

 

0:24:33 – Brian

So what does Miss Sanders do? 

 

0:24:34 – Kayla

I threw it in the dumpster.

 

0:24:35 – Brian

And was I advised before my blanket? 

 

0:24:38 – Kayla

Fair enough, you weren’t. But nobody is going to say that I should not have gotten rid of the blanket. I could have washed it and patched it. It smelled. 

 

0:24:47 – Brian

It was horrible. Why didn’t I wash sheets? I’ve washed sheets. Maybe once a year I’d go out and buy new ones. 

 

0:24:55 – Kayla

Okay, we need to end this. Okay, that’s the story of the pink blanket. Very sad, and you had a beautiful new blanket to replace it yeah.

 

0:25:04 – Brian

And this bedspread and all these frou frou pillows and everything. 

 

0:25:08 – Kayla

Welcome to married life. 

 

0:25:10 – Brian

Okay, I love it. It’s gorgeous. Just don’t bring that beach ball stuff up into here, listen. Thanks for listening to this week’s episode of the Peas and Carrots Podcast. Hey, so far this past week we had like four winners, so all you got to do is answer a trivia question. 

 

0:25:28 – Kayla

Yes, if you will go to our website, look for the trivia button. Visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com, click that trivia button and answer this question. 

 

0:25:40 – Brian

How do you pursue rest for yourself? Do you wrap yourself in a pink blanket? Really, really. 

 

0:25:49 – Kayla

Just okay Again. Please visit the peasandcarrotspodcast.com website. Click that trivia button. No questions about pink blankets. Just how are you pursuing rest for yourself? You can search the Peas and Carrots Podcast wherever you get your podcasts, or visit our website. Again that is peasandcarrotspodcast.com.

 

0:26:11 – Brian

Thanks for listening and don’t forget to subscribe when you’re there. You can also follow us on Facebook and Instagram. 

 

0:26:19 – Kayla

Just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast. 

 

0:26:22 – Brian

I’m still a little bit bitter about that pink blanket. 

 

0:26:25 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Life’s not perfect. That’s why God gave us friends like Melody and Candi. Check out QuirksBumpsandBruises.com, or search Quirks, Bumps, and Bruises wherever you listen to podcasts. 

FACEBOOK

INSTAGRAM

Season 3, Episode 4: I See You

I See You - Episode Description

Join Brian and Kayla on their Peas and Carrots Podcast as they wrap up January and step into February with lively discussions on relationships and the challenge of loving difficult people. They reflect on altering vacation plans, delve into communication within marriage, and share the soreness of a new fitness routine. Inspired by Bob Goff, they tackle the art of dealing with rudeness, bullies, and drama, advocating for grace and support in abusive dynamics. The episode lightens with a ‘Getting to Know You’ segment, childhood memories, and a playful giveaway. It’s an honest, enriching, and fun conversation that’s part of the growing Peas and Carrots family.

 

I See You- Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 

 

0:00:11 – Kayla

Welcome to the Peas and Carrots Podcast. 

 

0:00:13 – Brian

I’m Brian and I’m Kayla, what’s up in the world of Peas and Carrots?

 

0:00:18 – Kayla

Hallelujah, it’s February. Why are you so happy? Why are you so happy about that? Because January felt like it was six months long. I don’t know why it just did. 

 

0:00:29 – Brian

Oh, here’s my quandary with this. Uh-huh. The older we get, we actually complain about how time flies by so fast not January, but then when there’s a month that seems like it lasts forever, we complain that lasts forever. 

 

0:00:41 – Kayla

Well, apparently we just like to complain, but here we are. Here we are as we record today. 

 

0:00:50 – Brian

It’s groundhog day the day of this recording is a groundhog day and this rat is predicting an early spring. 

 

0:00:55 – Kayla

He is so putting a lot of faith in him. But here we are here we are and I hope he’s right. So there, happy groundhog day. 

 

0:01:06 – Brian

We made a huge decision regarding our vacation. 

 

0:01:09 – Kayla

We did. I was really struggling with telling you how I felt, but this is where communication and marriage is so important. I finally got brave and told you be, I really don’t feel that this is the year we should be doing international travel. And your response was hallelujah. 

 

0:01:29 – Brian

You thank God, praise God. 

 

0:01:31 – Kayla

So we shifted gears. We’re gonna do something in the continental United States and we’ll reveal those plans later, yeah so, but we’re both very happy and at peace with this. Italy. Yes, one day, Greece, revisit that. Loved going the first time. I know we’ll love going the second time, but it’s just not for us this year, yeah. So here’s where we are. That’s us, and we’re excited and we’re also very sore. And why is that? 

 

0:02:02 – Brian

Our trainer started us on a new routine this past Tuesday and today like. 

 

0:02:09 – Kayla

Today was day three of her. 

 

0:02:11 – Brian

Yeah, my every joint in my body is screaming. 

 

0:02:14 – Kayla

I can’t laugh. It hurts to laugh, so yeah so yeah, so it’s good for us really it is. We’ve started this week not only, not only tracking our physical activity, but we’re also committing to accountability with what food, food, sleep. Habits. 

 

0:02:35 – Brian

I think he’s doing this to us to make us into like pretty corpses. That’s the whole point of this. So everybody needs accountability and so for my accountability, I’m mine being killed a little bit each week over time. That’s what I’m mine. 

 

0:02:54 – Kayla

Drama party of one. Well, you’re not sore, I am sore, okay. You’re not hurting, I am okay, but I’m a little less dramatic about why I’m grumpy. Okay, well, tell Godzilla, because apparently, yes, he’s joined us again. 

 

0:03:10 – Brian

Yes, he’s here, he’s with me. 

 

0:03:12 – Kayla

Oh, my goodness. 

 

0:03:13 – Brian

He’s my face. 

 

0:03:14 – Kayla

Please stop hugging him. It’s just awkward. He’s lovable. 

 

0:03:22 – Brian

What is that now rallying for? Here we go. Oh my word, you jealous of that? 

 

0:03:30 – Kayla

well, you seem to be. No, he’s just a little crazy. 

 

0:03:34 – Brian

Okay, all right, I think he’s wonderful, mm-hmm my friend. Mm-hmm, so how are you supposed to deal with them? 

 

0:03:46 – Kayla

And we’re putting them in air quotes. So I think back to a quote that Bob Goff shared several years ago. That gutted me when I read it. Love difficult people. You are one. Mm-hmm, and I remember when I read that I thought, well, how do you think you are? But it’s true, at times all of us you have had. We are not going to share any of the details, but this prompted us to start a conversation with each other. You have had a couple of very specific Incidences lately when God has put some difficult people in your path and you’ve had to navigate very publicly around how to deal with that. So we thought that we would spend a few minutes talking about various types of difficult people that all of us encounter or are at some point. For example, how are we supposed to deal with someone who is rude? 

 

0:04:52 – Brian

Okay, my initial response to this is going to be the way Brian’s wired. My first response is going to be what did I do to make them rude? 

 

0:05:02 – Kayla

Hmm. 

 

0:05:02 – Brian

What did I do to mess this up? Am I being an idiot? Am I being rude in response, or something like that? But I’ve got to step back and say you know what? I didn’t do anything. I just showed up here and target. 

 

0:05:18 – Kayla

It’s probably more reflective of what’s going on inside of them than anything that the other person has done and when you can reframe it, as I don’t know what they’re walking with today. Sometimes it can look like grace to say that was uncalled for, but Maybe they just got some bad news. 

 

0:05:42 – Brian

Maybe they if it’s a one-off, yeah, if it’s a one-off, I’m not gonna say anything. 

 

0:05:48 – Kayla

Absolutely. Now, if it’s a pattern, I’m gonna say something and yeah, cuz then it becomes toxic, right a bully. 

 

0:05:59 – Brian

I’ll normally just pull away. 

 

0:06:01 – Kayla

Mm-hmm. 

 

0:06:02 – Brian

I’m just not going to engage you, I’m just not going to say anything. 

 

0:06:07 – Kayla

Yeah, because engaging is fuel for a bully. When they don’t typically get the reaction they’re seeking, they’ll go find someone else. Yeah, and maybe that’s wrong of me, but I don’t have the mental now again, if someone is bullying someone that I care about, then I’m gonna step in and just call them out for it, but nine times out of ten if I feel bullied by someone, it’s because they’re lacking control in an area, and that’s how they feel that they’re seizing control. 

 

They’re trying, so I just have to take the fuel out of there. Yeah, oh, this one’s hard for me one who seems to love drama. Drama makes me insane. It just yeah. How do you deal with people like that? 

 

0:06:59 – Brian

I will listen and I will try to reframe something again. If it’s a pattern, I will probably listen and then move on to a different topic. That’s what I will do because everybody you know, there’s a lot of people who invite drama, a lot of people who like drama, and for some people that’s how they get attention. 

 

0:07:22 – Kayla

So I’ve also found with drama try to get to its sores and try to ask very specific questions like well, was this your perception of a situation or was this actually what happened? Is this actually what was said or done? 

 

0:07:38 – Brian

Nice or not. 

 

0:07:39 – Kayla

Or is this? And then, if it’s someone that they truly seem to thrive in that space, I kind of whisper to them you may need to talk to someone. 

 

0:07:50 – Brian

And You’re a lot nicer and I am no, not always. 

 

0:07:53 – Kayla

I think so, because you don’t know what’s going on inside this head. 

 

0:07:56 – Brian

Well, how do you deal with? 

 

0:07:59 – Kayla

these drive you up a wall. Constant complainers. 

 

0:08:04 – Brian

Yeah, I can’t stick her. I can’t. I have to have hope. 

 

0:08:08 – Kayla

Mm, hmm. 

 

0:08:10 – Brian

I’m wired for hope, I have to have hope. And if every time I talk to you oh, whoa is me? Oh, this is wrong, that’s I’m done, I’m out, I’ve got to have some hope. And if all that you ever see is the bad stuff, if all you ever come talk about is the bad stuff, let me just say this I will spiral into a serious depression. I’ve got to have people around me. 

 

0:08:40 – Kayla

Yeah, see the good. What is that saying? You steer where you stare. Yeah, it’s kind of the same with negative people. Yeah you’re constantly around. Negative, you become negative. And there’s one unifying thought with all of these it reveals the what the heart, the heart. 

 

0:08:56 – Brian

And people are stupid, oh well that took a turn. Well, I’m just saying some of this is some of this is people don’t think before they talk. Yeah, and I’m guilty of that every single day of my life. 

 

0:09:10 – Kayla

Ok, but a lot of these reveal character traits that stem back to there is something going on inside. This one is hard because I think we’ve all either been guilty of this or we’ve been involved in this. A transactional air quotes friend, someone who only seeks you out when they need something from you or you’re benefiting them in some way. 

 

0:09:36 – Brian

Yeah, I’ve lived this several times in my life, I find friendship to be very difficult, extremely difficult, and I think we’ve talked about this on the podcast before. If the only time I hear from you is when you need something, if the only time you reach out is like is when you’re going through a crisis. 

 

0:09:56 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:09:57 – Brian

To me that’s a transactional friend. 

 

0:09:59 – Kayla

Mm-hmm. Or if you only want me when I can help pay for something, yeah, help provide something for you or make your life more comfortable. 

 

0:10:09 – Brian

Yeah. 

 

0:10:10 – Kayla

I’m not sure we’re really friends, correct, and that’s probably not gonna last long term and a lot of guys aren’t wired like me. 

 

0:10:19 – Brian

In other words, I like to chat, I like to talk, I like to share jokes. I like to do that. Some guys they don’t even want to talk to each other unless they’re sitting around a car they’re trying to fix or drinking beers or watching football. Yeah, you know I want to laugh. Cut up, be involved in your life. You’d be involved in mine. 

 

0:10:39 – Kayla

You’re an enneagram 2. Yeah, I want, yes 100%, you know so and that’s not a bad thing. So yeah, yeah, so. I think it just reminds all of us Be more of a giver than a taker in relationships, seeing less of what yourself is gaining and what you can be pouring out in that moment Someone who doesn’t share your faith. 

 

0:11:06 – Brian

I Don’t struggle with this as much, because I find them to be intriguing. I love talking to them, I love doing things for them because I feel like it’s an opportunity to show Jesus. That doesn’t bother me, I don’t. 

 

0:11:21 – Kayla

I’m not. You chose this one and I don’t struggle with this one. I just stay curious. 

 

0:11:27 – Brian

Love them, do a meal with them. Listen, you know people say well you know, if you Take them out to a meal, well then you’re you become like the five people you hang around. 

 

0:11:39 – Kayla

There’s truth in that, but also you can’t, just you’re not compromising your faith either. Yeah. 

 

0:11:46 – Brian

Look who Jesus hung around. Yes, so there’s that. How do you deal with people who live a lifestyle that you disagree with? Let me just say this every day I wake up, I wake up arrogant. I wake up selfish. I wake up cranky, I wake up just sinful. I Live a lifestyle by being arrogant, selfish, bent toward myself, bent away from God that you would disagree with. The this is the real issue is getting along with with people who sin differently Than we do. 

 

0:12:26 – Kayla

I think of the woman at the well, yeah, and I think of the moment when Jesus communicates to her I See you, and he doesn’t shy away Because of her sin. He know of all people, he knows her life, he knows the choices she’s made and yet he chooses to, in that exact moment, see her and he, he forgives her, a person. Now he does tell her go and live differently. But the first challenge in this is he didn’t just walk in there and blast her. 

 

0:13:07 – Brian

No, he loved her. 

 

0:13:08 – Kayla

It was he loved her first. He saw her as she was, and we’re never going to be able to. I’m trying to say this the right way. We are never going to be able to have influence with people who live different lifestyles If all we do is judge and hate. 

 

0:13:29 – Brian

And never let him into your life. 

 

0:13:31 – Kayla

We have to love and see people first. Amen and then perhaps God will open a door for them to hear something that draws them to him. 

 

0:13:40 – Brian

Preach. Here’s the final one. How do you deal with somebody who’s a control freak or abusive? 

 

0:13:47 – Kayla

You don’t. 

 

0:13:47 – Brian

You don’t. Let me just say that Full stop you don’t? 

 

0:13:51 – Kayla

There is a point where, regardless of what anyone else thinks of your choice, you have to do what is safest and best for you and perhaps those around you. 

 

0:14:03 – Brian

You are made in the image of God and you have value and you have worth, and so I would tell you to run as fast as you can get out of an abusive relationship. 

 

0:14:12 – Kayla

And get the help you need. Yes, because this one there is no, but I have to love them and I know if. If it’s a situation that is unsafe, you don’t see it, you, you get out of it. So, maybe some would disagree with that. You’re free to disagree, but nobody deserves to sit in that I agree. 

 

0:14:34 – Brian

So I’m going to say this go with God, love who you can. Yeah, Be the best you can be and don’t put up with people’s crap. 

 

0:14:43 – Kayla

And the hard truth. You have to coexist with difficult people. 

 

0:14:48 – Brian

Yes. 

 

0:14:49 – Kayla

Because, again, sometimes I am one. 

 

0:14:51 – Brian

No. 

 

0:14:52 – Kayla

But how can you cut through the? We all have it, that moment where you just tense up when that person comes around. How can you choose to see them differently If you’re willing to? 

 

0:15:05 – Brian

Hmm. 

 

0:15:08 – Kayla

Oh, this is going to be fun. 

 

0:15:10 – Brian

What. 

 

0:15:11 – Kayla

Today we’re going to play a little game called getting to know you. 

 

0:15:14 – Brian

Oh, I thought we were playing Yahtzee. 

 

0:15:16 – Kayla

Well, that would be interesting on a podcast, but okay. 

 

0:15:18 – Brian

When’s the last time we played Yahtzee? 

 

0:15:20 – Kayla

I don’t know, years ago. Okay, we have it at home, I think we have a Yahtzee game. 

 

0:15:26 – Brian

We do. 

 

0:15:27 – Kayla

Anyway, conversation starters here you go. These are some fun topics that you can bring up at your next dinner with friends or at family dinner night. What are three foods you refuse to eat? 

 

0:15:41 – Brian

Sushi oh beets. 

 

0:15:43 – Kayla

Okay. 

 

0:15:45 – Brian

And probably. 

 

0:15:48 – Kayla

I can’t believe it’s this hard for you. Sushi Beats and probably Brussels sprouts see my first one quickly is Brussels sprouts. Greens can’t handle. 

 

0:16:02 – Brian

Yeah, I turn up greens, not a fan. 

 

0:16:05 – Kayla

And yeah, so she’s not happy fish should be fried. I am. 

 

0:16:11 – Brian

I am from Louisiana. You need to batter that baby up, put it in some grease. Do not eat that mess raw. Okay, what would you say is one toxic or quirky habit you have? 

 

0:16:22 – Kayla

So this is a quirky one for me. Some would consider it toxic. I have hidden chocolate in multiple spots, everywhere. 

 

0:16:32 – Brian

And I’m okay with that toxic or quirk and when I answer this, that it could be toxic for me that I solve my stress with food and apparently, I do with chocolate so, and it used to be fried chicken, so I used to go get fried chicken a lot, so that was my thing. I miss it too. We were great friends. 

 

0:16:56 – Kayla

What is one thing that’s hard for you to comprehend? 

 

0:16:59 – Brian

The Trinity? I don’t understand. 

 

0:17:03 – Kayla

How they, how God is three and one. 

 

0:17:05 – Brian

Yeah, people give these examples, but every example falls short. 

 

0:17:09 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:17:10 – Brian

I’d like to understand that. And then in this passage you get this glimpse, and that passage you get that glimpse. So I believe in it. 

 

0:17:18 – Kayla

Wow, yours is so deep, mine is just people who say they hate to read. I struggle to understand. 

 

0:17:26 – Brian

Well, they’re not Christians. Oh, that’s a joke. Don’t write the podcast. 

 

0:17:31 – Kayla

Go ahead, so next one. 

 

0:17:33 – Brian

What was your favorite childhood toy? It had to be something Star Wars. It would have to be something Star Wars not your Batman mobile oh. I love. 

 

0:17:43 – Kayla

okay, I also had? 

 

0:17:45 – Brian

I am shocked. I had a bat cave, a bat mobile, uh-huh. I had the figures Batman Robin, Joker, Riddler and then also Ping. 

 

0:17:56 – Kayla

I have to say I think that was your favorite childhood back and they’re actually for sale on eBay. 

 

0:18:02 – Brian

What I had, oh my, I’d love to have it to display in the podcast studio, but I’m not gonna pay $300. 

 

0:18:10 – Kayla

Oh, okay. So you mine was a toss-up. I had a panda bear. Here we go. 

 

0:18:16 – Brian

I know it’s gonna be Pandy and I love it is dead. 

 

0:18:20 – Kayla

Stop it. I loved Pandy. See, even Godzilla fell over on that. Okay, he gets me. Okay, I might be back to being friends with Godzilla, thank you. Thank you for having my back. 

 

I’m gonna post a picture Godzilla and then I also had this may sound really creepy, but I had this doll that you could cut her hair and then you could turn this crank and it would grow new hair that then you could style and cut. It was weird now that I think back, but it was really cool wouldn’t run out of hair after, I guess so eventually. But yeah, I think they were hoping against hope that you wouldn’t continually cut her hair. 

 

0:18:57 – Brian

But we’ll go buy a new doll. I guess so. But wow, I think I remember those commercials. 

 

0:19:02 – Kayla

Yeah, it was fun. 

 

0:19:05 – Brian

My G I gel didn’t do that Just yeah, good to know. What is one thing you feel society would be better without? 

 

0:19:12 – Kayla

Social media platforms. I’m just gonna say it. 

 

0:19:16 – Brian

I’m gonna say, politicians, I wish we had a king. 

 

0:19:19 – Kayla

Wow. 

 

0:19:20 – Brian

A lot less argument, a lot less fussing and that kind of stuff. I’m a royalist. Bring on the king. 

 

0:19:28 – Kayla

Mark it down, gracious sakes. 

 

0:19:32 – Brian

So there’s, that. 

 

0:19:33 – Kayla

If you could adopt one new hobby or interest, what would it be? 

 

0:19:37 – Brian

Napping, buffet surfing. 

 

0:19:44 – Kayla

Stop. In all seriousness. 

 

0:19:47 – Brian

Napping. 

 

0:19:47 – Kayla

Napping for real. 

 

0:19:48 – Brian

Yes, I’d be down for napping. 

 

0:19:52 – Kayla

I would love to try my hand at painting Just for fun, I have no interest, I could care less. We would be terrible, but I would love to. I did this paint class one time with a friend and I really enjoyed it and it surprised me because I was terrified when we went in. But I think I would love to try my hand at it. 

 

0:20:11 – Brian

I’ve toyed with like photography. 

 

0:20:14 – Kayla

I could see you doing that. You’re really good this is my struggle except taking pictures of me, because you think every picture of me is great. It is, and I’m like really. 

 

0:20:23 – Brian

Let me say this Like to be a photographer. You got to go to these places, walk these miles, take a picture. I’m not going to spend two hours getting somewhere to spend two minutes to take a picture, Because that’s going to interrupt your new nap routine. Whoa, I see how this day is going to be. All right, well. 

 

0:20:42 – Kayla

So there we go. Those are some conversation starters. 

 

0:20:45 – Brian

Yeah. 

 

0:20:45 – Kayla

Apparently we just got it and some conversation enders too. I’m just saying. 

 

0:20:50 – Brian

I’m all righty. Hey, god save, the king, god save. Thanks for listening to this week’s podcast it’s. We are honored and we are privileged that you’re part of the peas and carrots family, and we had a winner yesterday. Each week, we give away a few of our peas and carrots coffee mugs. 

 

0:21:07 – Kayla

We do. There is a free mug and a pack of stickers. 

 

0:21:11 – Brian

Miss Kayla loves the stickers. 

 

0:21:12 – Kayla

Y’all the stickers are so cute. They really are. When you go to our website, look for the trivia button. Click that button at again peasandcarrotspodcast.com. This week’s question. 

 

0:21:25 – Brian

What was your favorite childhood toy? What was your favorite childhood toy? Yes, okay, so search the peas and carrots podcast at peasandcarrotspodcast.com.

 

0:21:36 – Kayla

Click that trivia button, answer that question. You’ll get an adorable mug and some very cute stickers. 

 

0:21:42 – Brian

Hey, and if you’re new to the podcast, you can get caught up on all the episodes. You just search peas and carrots podcast wherever you get your podcasts, or visit our website peasandcarrotspodcast.com. And when you do, please don’t forget to subscribe. Also, Hey, come and follow us on Facebook and Instagram. 

 

0:21:58 – Kayla

Just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast. 

 

0:22:00 – Brian

Da na na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, Batman.

 

0:22:03 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Growing through the challenges we face and finding hope along the way. That’s the Jesus Fix It Podcast with Jess. Check out JesusFixIt.com or search Jesus Fix It wherever you listen to podcasts. 

FACEBOOK

INSTAGRAM