Season 3, Episode 7: Bye, Busy Bee

Bye, Busy Bee - Episode Description

Welcome to the Peas and Carrots Podcast, where the ordinary becomes extraordinary through a symphony of laughter. Your hosts, Brian and Kayla Sanders, invite you into their world of marital mirth and everyday absurdities. This episode takes a deep dive into the comedic side of marriage and life’s most mundane moments. Listen in as they share heartwarming and hilarious stories from their personal “vegetable patch” of life.

They take you on a journey of their shared life, revealing the quirks and quips of their marriage. From their comedic crusade against dirty dishes to answered prayers, Brian and Kayla show how laughter and self-awareness are the key ingredients to their marital journey. This podcast is not just about listening, but about engaging with the stories and finding yourself nodding and laughing along. Whether it’s Kayla’s confession of a spoon-assisted mayo spread or Brian’s, this podcast promises to add a dash of laughter to your day. So pull up a chair, and prepare to embrace the laughter with the Peas and Carrots Podcast.

Bye, Busy Bee - Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 

 

0:00:11 – Kayla

Welcome to the Peas and Carrots Podcast. I’m Brian and I’m Kayla.

 

0:00:14 – Brian

Welcome to this week’s edition of “what’s growin’ in the vegetable patch.”

 

0:00:18 – Kayla

Well, well, we have a variety of things. We any of them moldy? 

 

0:00:24 – Brian

Oh, I hope not. Oh, we have to throw away strawberries. 

 

0:00:27 – Kayla

That brain of yours is a magical place. We did have to throw away strawberries the other day. We had some pretty nasty strawberries. I opened the, so I always Wash them and cut them and put them in a container. And when I open the container, you declared what. 

 

0:00:44 – Brian

Oh, something’s rotten Kind of hit us. Yeah, anyway, okay we’re very random. 

 

0:00:51 – Kayla

Well so I am officially. Where did I leave my heating pad? Stage of life and she’s got to, I do. 

 

0:01:00 – Brian

She’s got a little avocado one which she just clears. Quote is the cutest y’all this thing is fantastic Okay. I do not work for this company. 

 

0:01:08 – Kayla

Hold on, I have to share this. It’s shaped like an avocado, it’s a little stuffed avocado and it has dried like Wheatgrass or something and lavender, so when you heat it that legal wheatgrass. Well, I mean, I hope so. I bought it off Amazon, but it’s amazing. So not only does it like work as a heating pad, but it also Provides relaxation because you have the lavender. 

 

0:01:33 – Brian

So yeah, and then you got a second one and it’s got like little corn. I will corn yeah you like that one. Every time you warm it up, I smell like pop, yeah, like we’re having popcorn so but here I am. 

 

0:01:46 – Kayla

This is who I am now and you put on your leg. 

 

0:01:48 – Brian

We’re you fell. Yes, it’s helping a lot, so so Okay gentlemen, no, ma’am, ladies and gentlemen, we have an update. 

 

0:01:58 – Kayla

You’ve been waiting for two weeks to share this. 

 

0:02:01 – Brian

Yes, I have a while back on the podcast, uh-huh. 

 

0:02:05 – Kayla

a major topic was I Spread mayonnaise with a spoon and I normally still to this day Spread mayo with a knife. 

 

0:02:18 – Brian

We were at dinner the other evening. I was being lazy and she took a spoon and spread mayo. 

 

0:02:25 – Kayla

Yeah, and I will never live this down. 

 

0:02:28 – Brian

And, as my dad would say, you, you just lathered that bread up with that spoon, with that mayo and you have not let me live it down. Well come to how the rest of the world, oh, no, no, no, no, oh yes, yes, yes, I will march my little tail across the kitchen for a night next week. 

 

You got to use that little word. I put a splash in my cup of tea and now you have fallen down to where the rest of us are. Spread mayo with a spoon. Okay, the queen is off her throne.

 

0:03:00 – Kayla

Whatever. I need to give a shout out to our delightful neighbors, and these are not the ones that were bugging me with the Christmas lights, even though Jesus checked my heart. They turned their lights from Christmas lights to Valentine lights, and now they are St. Patrick’s Day lights. 

 

They got all green and I, just just to show that I’m not a complete troll, I love the festive nature of it, so a troll? Well, when you’re grumbling about someone’s Christmas lights maybe you will, but I don’t think it’s a troll, but no, I just, I am loving it and I’m here for this every evening I get to see their green St. Patrick lights and it’s just awesome. 

 

0:03:38 – Brian

So, yes, thank you to them and this week you had a very emotional moment. 

 

0:03:44 – Kayla

I did. 

 

0:03:45 – Brian

God answered a significant prayer. Yeah, that you’ve been praying for how long. 

 

0:03:51 – Kayla

Nine years. 

 

0:03:54 – Brian

We’re not gonna get into the details of it. 

 

0:03:56 – Kayla

No, I don’t. I don’t really want to do that at this time, but I have been praying something very, very specific and God answered it this week. So I say, do not quit talking to him. If there’s something that’s just burning within you, just keep coming before him. You know what? I’m happy until he makes it clear either yes or no you know what I’m happy about? 

 

0:04:21 – Brian

Yeah, it wasn’t like get rid of B, because I’m still here. Oh Well, on that note, anyway, it’s just saying but it was a y’all, I’m just saying don’t, I agree with her, don’t quit praying. The Lord hears you, he does and he will answer in his time. That’s what this is proof of and that’s a little frustrating at times. 

 

0:04:42 – Kayla

Oh yeah. 

 

0:04:45 – Brian

What are we learning about rest? Mm-hmm almost start here. I fall asleep at what time now? 

 

0:04:53 – Kayla

Okay, you have become that person, now that at 7:30 at night, you are zoning out did not have to open this up with. 

 

0:05:00 – Brian

You have become that person. That’s very judgmental coming from the lady who spreads mayonnaise with a spoon. Okay, it’s your bad habit. 

 

0:05:09 – Kayla

What whole spoon thing Anyway. 

 

I fall asleep now you and I’ve been talking a lot about this topic and we’ve we’ve covered it once before, but it’s worthy of revisiting because it seems to be the elusive for a lot of people, and so we were chatting the other night about as much as I joke it was good to see you resting. You were genuinely relaxed, you were, and so these are just some thoughts we have on real rest. When did I’m so busy, become a badge of honor? Is it perhaps more a defense mechanism, because we fear what people will think if every hour of our day Isn’t filled with something meaningful? 

 

0:06:00 – Brian

I think it’s like I’m more successful than you. I’m busier than you, so I’m more successful. Hmm. And it makes me better than you. 

 

0:06:09 – Kayla

Yeah, it’s like it’s something to be proud of being busy. 

 

0:06:14 – Brian

Now let me say this I think that we think we’re good people if we’re earning something, If we’re busy yeah like I’m trying to earn the boss’s respect, I’m trying to earn the next level up at work. 

 

0:06:29 – Kayla

I’m trying to look more irreplaceable than you. 

 

0:06:32 – Brian

Yes, yeah and so I think that lends toward our busyness. But is it good to be busy at the right things? Yes, but we shouldn’t get our self-worth From that busyness. Yeah, now that’s tough for me Because a lot of my identity is wrapped up in being a leader and being an author and that kind of stuff, and so If I’m not busy, sometimes it becomes does Brian have value? Now I’ve gotten better about that. 

 

0:07:08 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:07:09 – Brian

I have gotten better about that, because I’m trying to learn that my self-worth comes from the love of Christ, not from my efforts, not from my busyness. 

 

0:07:20 – Kayla

Yes so. 

 

Something I have learned the best rest that I can give myself is when my heart is at rest. I’m learning to carve out space for my mind and heart to rest, because we all carry so much heavy stuff and Sometimes resting in Christ looks like trusting him to carry the things that I can’t or shouldn’t carry on my own. And I am. You know, I’m the world’s worst. I’m always worrying about or thinking about something, and I’ve been working really consciously this year to just set things down and let my heart Rest, let my mind have peace, and it’s hard fought. I’m not gonna pretend this is easy. 

 

0:08:17 – Brian

Yeah, we’re different in this respect is that she, like I, can have something going on in my world. Yeah but I have the ability to like Shelf it. Oh, I can’t like. I have the ability like okay, I’ll shelf that and I’ll deal with that tomorrow. No, and you can’t. 

 

0:08:36 – Kayla

I’m constantly trying to either fix it or problem solve it, or repair it or whatever it needs. I’m trying to do that. Either I’m thinking of that next conversation that’s gonna need to take place, or I’m thinking of that next concern that I’m gonna need to address, or, yeah, it’s just cool. 

 

0:08:55 – Brian

So I’m trying. You’re doing great. I Do find it odd that the way that you oftentimes rest is to organize things. 

 

0:09:05 – Kayla

I Do like you learn that. Yeah, look at her smile. She will organize what you’re kind of sharing my secrets here. 

 

0:09:13 – Brian

Well, she loves to organize the pantry, she loves to organize her closet, even though she may have just organized it 30 days ago. 

 

0:09:20 – Kayla

You know it signals what I’m trying to do, what process process something. Yeah, so yeah, but I just find that I’ll rearrange something nine times out of ten, putting it right back the way it was, but yeah, there we are, but you feel better I do, okay, well, that’s what matters. 

 

0:09:36 – Brian

Building on what miss K said about resting in Christ, I Need us to hear this Jesus came because we can’t earn our way to heaven. We are flawed, we are depraved, we are sinful. Okay, so you have to release yourself from the burden that you can work your way to his favor. 

 

Amen you can work your way to his grace, and when you and so what we mean by resting in Christ is you rest in him, that only he Can provide you with the righteousness needed To know God and to know his peace. That’s what we mean by that. It doesn’t mean not doing anything. Now because you are resting in Christ as your only solution. That should lead you to like do things for him. 

 

We should pursue him, we should worship him, we should live our lives in ways that glorify him but those things do not earn favor, they do not earn grace, they do not earn any of that. Yeah, and that’s hard for me, that’s hard for all of us. How many of us wanted our dads to be proud of us? Yeah, I Did, and it’s one of the last things that my dad ever said to me and we carry that over to our relationship with Jesus is that we want him to be proud of us. 

 

0:10:58 – Kayla

So we try to do all this stuff but the truth is, we get to rest in the work that he did. Yes, that’s the beautiful when that really sinks in. Yes, we can truly rest in all that he accomplished on our behalf. 

 

0:11:16 – Brian

So yeah, give yourself a break. Stop trying to earn grace, trying to earn favor. Yeah, lay it down at his feet. 

 

0:11:25 – Kayla

There’s an old saying put on your own oxygen mask first. We’ve all heard that I’m no good to those around me if I haven’t properly rested. So the reason that this is so important for all of us is if we are not taking care of our basic needs, we can’t take care of others because we’re gonna be too exhausted. 

 

0:11:50 – Brian

You’re gonna be snippy not you, but oh. 

 

0:11:53 – Kayla

Well, I admit that in a minute no. 

 

0:11:54 – Brian

I think you’re snippy. 

 

0:11:55 – Kayla

Oh, I am what I’m tired Really. Oh, have you lived with me. 

 

0:12:00 – Brian

Yes, but I wouldn’t use the word snippy. Oh, all right, I Would use the word done like I’m okay, that’s what I would use. 

 

0:12:10 – Kayla

So be. How do you rest? What do you recommend? I check I read a book, yeah. 

 

0:12:15 – Brian

I’ll watch a show. I’ll watch a favorite television series or a favorite movie. I’ll take a nap. 

 

0:12:22 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:12:24 – Brian

I’ll try and take a walk. 

 

0:12:25 – Kayla

I was gonna say, for me it looks like either as you alluded, organizing something, because it helps me to understand. 

 

0:12:34 – Brian

It just helps me to rice like the numbers of rice in a bag. 

 

0:12:39 – Kayla

No, we’re not, we’re gonna not very restful. Sometimes I will read a book, sometimes I will go for a walk just getting some fresh air and clearing my brain, but a lot of times it’s those quiet moments in our house when the day is done, when when the work is finished for now, and it can just be that you and I are sitting in a shared space, and In that moment is when I find that I can truly have rest and it’s very sweet, hmm. 

 

0:13:10 – Brian

but we all go know that there are seasons in our lives that are just chaos. 

 

0:13:18 – Kayla

Yeah, they’re just so busy. They’re just so busy but it’s how we react to that. 

 

There’s so much truth when I find myself and this is what I’m willing to confess If I’m resentful or I’m complaining, easily frustrated or you know this about me if I am highly emotional or sensitive because I’m not normally, I’m not taken to like big emotion swings I can almost always trace it back to being tired, and it may not just be that I’m physically tired. But do I just need to rest? Do I need like a mental break? Or those are tells for me. So I wonder for all of us, what is it that we need to take a look at and evaluate? How am I giving away my tiredness? 

 

0:14:09 – Brian

I’ll be sharp. If I’m tired, I’ll be sharp. Would you agree with that? I mean you do no, I’m just saying would you agree with that? 

 

0:14:18 – Kayla

Well, I mean, I don’t wanna say something that’s gonna hurt your feelings. 

 

0:14:21 – Brian

It’s not gonna hurt my feelings, I don’t have any feelings. 

 

0:14:23 – Kayla

You look cranky when you’re tired, Okay that’s good, impatient.

 

0:14:28 – Brian

We’ll leave it there. Most of the leadership team would say that’s every day he must come exhausted into work every day. 

 

0:14:35 – Kayla

No, it’s a different kind of impatience. So, yeah, it’s very rare that I see it honestly, but it’s a tell for me that you’re tired. 

 

0:14:44 – Brian

But You’ll be like B go eat a cooking, take a nap. Okay, baby, I’m all about a cookie. Go watch a movie, go watch a movie, so y’all keep yourself a break. Yeah, take a nap and rest in him. Don’t try and earn his favor. 

 

0:15:02 – Kayla

And when you say, oh, I’m so busy, is it with passion or is it with gloating? 

 

0:15:10 – Brian

Or complaining. I’m the martyr. Look at me. What’s the tone behind your busy? It’s your motive, yeah, yeah. So you wanted to share some stories this week. 

 

0:15:22 – Kayla

Well, we’re gonna go back to the beginning, okay, so yeah, the first story she wanted to share. 

 

0:15:28 – Brian

Now we work for a radio ministry. 

 

0:15:32 – Kayla

We do. 

 

0:15:33 – Brian

This morning the topic on Spirit FM that Jess had. 

 

0:15:36 – Kayla

Mm-hmm. 

 

0:15:37 – Brian

Was what was something that you did that. 

 

0:15:41 – Kayla

That revealed your laziness, okay. 

 

0:15:44 – Brian

Yeah, I said something to Miss Kayla. 

 

0:15:47 – Kayla

And I shared it with Jess. 

 

0:15:48 – Brian

Yeah, who texted the morning show host, Jess at Spirit FM. So I’m gonna confess this when I was single, before I ever met you. 

 

0:15:57 – Kayla

Oh, it was before we met. Okay. 

 

0:16:00 – Brian

I would go to Walmart, or I would go to Thrift store or to the thrift. Well, it was at that point. I was going to thrift stores, but I’d also go to Walmart, uh-huh, and I would buy the cheapest set of plates and the cheapest set of silverware each week, so I wouldn’t have to wash dishes. 

 

0:16:18 – Kayla

What would you do with them, babe? 

 

0:16:20 – Brian

I’d throw them away. 

 

0:16:21 – Kayla

Why didn’t you just buy paper plates? 

 

0:16:24 – Brian

Because I might have been trying to date certain girls and have them over. 

 

0:16:29 – Kayla

Oh, my gosh. 

 

0:16:30 – Brian

And I didn’t notice. 

 

0:16:31 – Kayla

I’ve never heard this angle. 

 

0:16:32 – Brian

Well, why do you think I didn’t have paper plates? I didn’t think women would be impressed. Y’all should see her face. 

 

0:16:42 – Brian

Do you think you bring them over for dinner and you serve them on paper plates? 

 

0:16:47 – Kayla

So, but what would you do after said date left? What would you do with the plates? I don’t need them on paper. Throw them away. Throw them away. Yes, instead of what. 

 

0:16:58 – Brian

After we started dating, what did you say? 

 

0:17:02 – Kayla

We are not throwing plates away anymore, so I started having to go get paper plate. 

 

0:17:07 – Brian

So but it worked out. I mean, oh my God, you can buy cheap. 

 

0:17:11 – Kayla

See, I’ve been married to you for 30 years and I just learned the angle. That is not true. I did not know Listen, as God is my witness I did not know the reason why you weren’t back. Throw away my pink blanket. The people do not want to hear about your pink blanket. No, you don’t want to hear about your pink blanket. 

 

0:17:30 – Brian

You’re using the people as a shield. 

 

0:17:33 – Kayla

One day, the pink blanket story will be shared. They’ll be on my side. So I’m okay. They’re going to be on my side with this one too. I really missed that. I get, I grew up in a house where there was the grease bucket, and if you’re a good southern person, you know exactly what I’m talking about. You save the grease from your bacon or from your like cooking. I went to pull out. We were about four weeks from getting married. 

 

0:18:00 – Brian

We had been gifted so much stuff that you’re living with your mom and step. 

 

0:18:05 – Kayla

I was still living at home. 

 

0:18:06 – Brian

And I was 10 minutes away in a but. 

 

0:18:08 – Kayla

I was bringing some of our wedding gifts and going ahead and placing them in the cabinet. 

 

0:18:14 – Brian

Before you finish this story, I want to apologize for what happened. Okay, just want to go on the record. I’m sorry, very bad about this, but go ahead, I still have shiny hair. There was so much that is not true. 

 

0:18:25 – Kayla

I pulled out this pot that was in the top cabinet, shoved in the back, and I pulled it out thinking oh, it’s empty. It was full of old grease that when the lid fell off and hit the floor, the grease starts to pour all down me, for my hair, down my shoulders, down my shirt. I think I screamed and you came running. I smelled like old bacon grease for like a week. 

 

0:18:55 – Brian

Can I just say you were real sexy that week. I just want to say that. 

 

0:19:00 – Kayla

Okay, yeah, anyway, not our finest moment. 

 

0:19:06 – Brian

I could have nibbled on your little neck. Stop. Just saying that’s bacon. Not appropriate. Okay. Dogs were chasing her down the street. Stop. 

 

0:19:16 – Kayla

Oh my goodness, we had been married about six months and you knew I really wanted a sit down kitchen table. We did not have one. We had a couple of folding chairs and one of those little card tables and we had saved up some money. We lived in a studio apartment. 

 

0:19:36 – Brian

It was a one bedroom. It was a one bedroom, one bath apartment. It was tiny, and so we went to a furniture store Almost said grocery store, furniture store and we bought a dining room table and I picked one that had eight chairs. Okay, let me just go on the record and say we did not measure the space. That table took up 90% of our living room and dining room, and of those eight, chairs, only two of them could be used. 

 

0:20:03 – Kayla

Yeah. Because that’s how much of the space it took up until we moved into our next home. 

 

0:20:08 – Brian

Yeah so. 

 

0:20:09 – Kayla

So still laugh about that. It was beautiful, but we used two of the eight chairs. 

 

0:20:13 – Brian

You know, when we remodeled our house recently, I thought I had measured the room where we put the shelves of the library and I apparently I mismeasured and I got away with it. We have like a quarter of an inch. 

 

0:20:26 – Kayla

Oh, do we? I was aware of that. The furniture guy told on you. 

 

0:20:30 – Brian

Really, he did? I tipped him really well that day. 

 

0:20:35 – Kayla

He told on you. He said he’s been sweating buckets oh man. I thought yes. So we have a couple of air quotes “parenting stories,” our first attempt at parenting a pet. 

 

0:20:48 – Brian

We got this dog from the family. We went through this rescue and they. 

 

0:20:51 – Kayla

What they were doing is they were re-homing pets that needed to leave their current situation, so we adopted this adorable like four-year-old dog from the family. How long did we make it B?

 

0:21:06 – Brian

One day, we took him back to them the next day. 

 

0:21:09 – Kayla

Because he was so inconsolable and so we called the rescue and they’re like sure you can reach out to the family. They begged to get him back. They had so much regret over their decision to re-home him. The kids were so happy they were so happy to see us coming and we were so relieved because it was the worst night of our lives. He cried and howled all night long. 

 

0:21:35 – Brian

Another bad decision the Sanders made is we adopted a rabbit. 

 

0:21:39 – Kayla

Oh yeah, I don’t recommend this. No, when you live in an apartment. 

 

0:21:45 – Brian

It was not good your dad helped release him into the wild. Yes, so, not our finest moment. No, not our finest moment. So. 

 

0:21:57 – Kayla

Gladly. We waited a good 10 years before we got another pet and then to like set the record straight, we had that one for nearly 15 years, so yeah, this last story. 

 

0:22:07 – Brian

Okay, was this our first or second date? 

 

0:22:12 – Kayla

We were engaged. Oh, we had just gotten engaged. We were going on a date. 

 

0:22:19 – Brian

And you look at me as we’re leaving. I think your parents’ trailer and you said “do you like my skirt?” 

 

0:22:28 – Kayla

And this is the response I get. “I’m not a huge fan. The pattern looks like deck chair material. I’d change if I were you.” There are moments be when women don’t necessarily want complete honesty. This was a moment for you and yes, somehow here we are 30 years later. 

 

0:22:51 – Brian

Our whole life flashed before my eyes in that 30 seconds after I said it. I’m just going to say it we are. But here we are nearly 31 years later. 

 

0:23:00 – Kayla

Yeah, we’re on our 31st year, wow, and you have never, ever, ever criticized anything. I’ve worn since then, if you like it by it baby baby it’s so pretty. 

 

0:23:13 – Brian

Called my skirt, deck, chair material. Well, it was baby. It looked like a beach ball had been wrapped around you. That’s what it looked like it was the style back then? 

 

0:23:24 – Kayla

No, it wasn’t. Anyway, we hope you’ve had a little fun with these Two way. 

 

0:23:28 – Brian

My pink blanket and I didn’t like it Okay, we’re going to go here. 

 

0:23:32 – Kayla

No, we’re not. 

 

0:23:33 – Brian

No, we’re not no no, no, the good people. 

 

0:23:35 – Kayla

We are going to go here. She has got her finger up. I am telling this story. We were, so you asked for this. We were a month from getting married and we, of course, we had had like seven or eight wedding showers and we had been given some beautiful new linens, towels, blankets, all of it. I was at the new apartment putting together all of like the bedroom and everything like that. There was a blanket that you call it pink. It was really more of a light brown. It was so dirty. It used to be pink and the whole middle of the blanket was a hole. There was no middle, so I assumed. 

 

0:24:25 – Brian

I assumed. 

 

0:24:27 – Kayla

No, uh-uh. Either way, what you call light pink was so dirty, it was more of a brown color. 

 

0:24:33 – Brian

So what does Miss Sanders do? 

 

0:24:34 – Kayla

I threw it in the dumpster.

 

0:24:35 – Brian

And was I advised before my blanket? 

 

0:24:38 – Kayla

Fair enough, you weren’t. But nobody is going to say that I should not have gotten rid of the blanket. I could have washed it and patched it. It smelled. 

 

0:24:47 – Brian

It was horrible. Why didn’t I wash sheets? I’ve washed sheets. Maybe once a year I’d go out and buy new ones. 

 

0:24:55 – Kayla

Okay, we need to end this. Okay, that’s the story of the pink blanket. Very sad, and you had a beautiful new blanket to replace it yeah.

 

0:25:04 – Brian

And this bedspread and all these frou frou pillows and everything. 

 

0:25:08 – Kayla

Welcome to married life. 

 

0:25:10 – Brian

Okay, I love it. It’s gorgeous. Just don’t bring that beach ball stuff up into here, listen. Thanks for listening to this week’s episode of the Peas and Carrots Podcast. Hey, so far this past week we had like four winners, so all you got to do is answer a trivia question. 

 

0:25:28 – Kayla

Yes, if you will go to our website, look for the trivia button. Visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com, click that trivia button and answer this question. 

 

0:25:40 – Brian

How do you pursue rest for yourself? Do you wrap yourself in a pink blanket? Really, really. 

 

0:25:49 – Kayla

Just okay Again. Please visit the peasandcarrotspodcast.com website. Click that trivia button. No questions about pink blankets. Just how are you pursuing rest for yourself? You can search the Peas and Carrots Podcast wherever you get your podcasts, or visit our website. Again that is peasandcarrotspodcast.com.

 

0:26:11 – Brian

Thanks for listening and don’t forget to subscribe when you’re there. You can also follow us on Facebook and Instagram. 

 

0:26:19 – Kayla

Just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast. 

 

0:26:22 – Brian

I’m still a little bit bitter about that pink blanket. 

 

0:26:25 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Life’s not perfect. That’s why God gave us friends like Melody and Candi. Check out QuirksBumpsandBruises.com, or search Quirks, Bumps, and Bruises wherever you listen to podcasts. 

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Season 3, Episode 4: I See You

I See You - Episode Description

Join Brian and Kayla on their Peas and Carrots Podcast as they wrap up January and step into February with lively discussions on relationships and the challenge of loving difficult people. They reflect on altering vacation plans, delve into communication within marriage, and share the soreness of a new fitness routine. Inspired by Bob Goff, they tackle the art of dealing with rudeness, bullies, and drama, advocating for grace and support in abusive dynamics. The episode lightens with a ‘Getting to Know You’ segment, childhood memories, and a playful giveaway. It’s an honest, enriching, and fun conversation that’s part of the growing Peas and Carrots family.

 

I See You- Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 

 

0:00:11 – Kayla

Welcome to the Peas and Carrots Podcast. 

 

0:00:13 – Brian

I’m Brian and I’m Kayla, what’s up in the world of Peas and Carrots?

 

0:00:18 – Kayla

Hallelujah, it’s February. Why are you so happy? Why are you so happy about that? Because January felt like it was six months long. I don’t know why it just did. 

 

0:00:29 – Brian

Oh, here’s my quandary with this. Uh-huh. The older we get, we actually complain about how time flies by so fast not January, but then when there’s a month that seems like it lasts forever, we complain that lasts forever. 

 

0:00:41 – Kayla

Well, apparently we just like to complain, but here we are. Here we are as we record today. 

 

0:00:50 – Brian

It’s groundhog day the day of this recording is a groundhog day and this rat is predicting an early spring. 

 

0:00:55 – Kayla

He is so putting a lot of faith in him. But here we are here we are and I hope he’s right. So there, happy groundhog day. 

 

0:01:06 – Brian

We made a huge decision regarding our vacation. 

 

0:01:09 – Kayla

We did. I was really struggling with telling you how I felt, but this is where communication and marriage is so important. I finally got brave and told you be, I really don’t feel that this is the year we should be doing international travel. And your response was hallelujah. 

 

0:01:29 – Brian

You thank God, praise God. 

 

0:01:31 – Kayla

So we shifted gears. We’re gonna do something in the continental United States and we’ll reveal those plans later, yeah so, but we’re both very happy and at peace with this. Italy. Yes, one day, Greece, revisit that. Loved going the first time. I know we’ll love going the second time, but it’s just not for us this year, yeah. So here’s where we are. That’s us, and we’re excited and we’re also very sore. And why is that? 

 

0:02:02 – Brian

Our trainer started us on a new routine this past Tuesday and today like. 

 

0:02:09 – Kayla

Today was day three of her. 

 

0:02:11 – Brian

Yeah, my every joint in my body is screaming. 

 

0:02:14 – Kayla

I can’t laugh. It hurts to laugh, so yeah so yeah, so it’s good for us really it is. We’ve started this week not only, not only tracking our physical activity, but we’re also committing to accountability with what food, food, sleep. Habits. 

 

0:02:35 – Brian

I think he’s doing this to us to make us into like pretty corpses. That’s the whole point of this. So everybody needs accountability and so for my accountability, I’m mine being killed a little bit each week over time. That’s what I’m mine. 

 

0:02:54 – Kayla

Drama party of one. Well, you’re not sore, I am sore, okay. You’re not hurting, I am okay, but I’m a little less dramatic about why I’m grumpy. Okay, well, tell Godzilla, because apparently, yes, he’s joined us again. 

 

0:03:10 – Brian

Yes, he’s here, he’s with me. 

 

0:03:12 – Kayla

Oh, my goodness. 

 

0:03:13 – Brian

He’s my face. 

 

0:03:14 – Kayla

Please stop hugging him. It’s just awkward. He’s lovable. 

 

0:03:22 – Brian

What is that now rallying for? Here we go. Oh my word, you jealous of that? 

 

0:03:30 – Kayla

well, you seem to be. No, he’s just a little crazy. 

 

0:03:34 – Brian

Okay, all right, I think he’s wonderful, mm-hmm my friend. Mm-hmm, so how are you supposed to deal with them? 

 

0:03:46 – Kayla

And we’re putting them in air quotes. So I think back to a quote that Bob Goff shared several years ago. That gutted me when I read it. Love difficult people. You are one. Mm-hmm, and I remember when I read that I thought, well, how do you think you are? But it’s true, at times all of us you have had. We are not going to share any of the details, but this prompted us to start a conversation with each other. You have had a couple of very specific Incidences lately when God has put some difficult people in your path and you’ve had to navigate very publicly around how to deal with that. So we thought that we would spend a few minutes talking about various types of difficult people that all of us encounter or are at some point. For example, how are we supposed to deal with someone who is rude? 

 

0:04:52 – Brian

Okay, my initial response to this is going to be the way Brian’s wired. My first response is going to be what did I do to make them rude? 

 

0:05:02 – Kayla

Hmm. 

 

0:05:02 – Brian

What did I do to mess this up? Am I being an idiot? Am I being rude in response, or something like that? But I’ve got to step back and say you know what? I didn’t do anything. I just showed up here and target. 

 

0:05:18 – Kayla

It’s probably more reflective of what’s going on inside of them than anything that the other person has done and when you can reframe it, as I don’t know what they’re walking with today. Sometimes it can look like grace to say that was uncalled for, but Maybe they just got some bad news. 

 

0:05:42 – Brian

Maybe they if it’s a one-off, yeah, if it’s a one-off, I’m not gonna say anything. 

 

0:05:48 – Kayla

Absolutely. Now, if it’s a pattern, I’m gonna say something and yeah, cuz then it becomes toxic, right a bully. 

 

0:05:59 – Brian

I’ll normally just pull away. 

 

0:06:01 – Kayla

Mm-hmm. 

 

0:06:02 – Brian

I’m just not going to engage you, I’m just not going to say anything. 

 

0:06:07 – Kayla

Yeah, because engaging is fuel for a bully. When they don’t typically get the reaction they’re seeking, they’ll go find someone else. Yeah, and maybe that’s wrong of me, but I don’t have the mental now again, if someone is bullying someone that I care about, then I’m gonna step in and just call them out for it, but nine times out of ten if I feel bullied by someone, it’s because they’re lacking control in an area, and that’s how they feel that they’re seizing control. 

 

They’re trying, so I just have to take the fuel out of there. Yeah, oh, this one’s hard for me one who seems to love drama. Drama makes me insane. It just yeah. How do you deal with people like that? 

 

0:06:59 – Brian

I will listen and I will try to reframe something again. If it’s a pattern, I will probably listen and then move on to a different topic. That’s what I will do because everybody you know, there’s a lot of people who invite drama, a lot of people who like drama, and for some people that’s how they get attention. 

 

0:07:22 – Kayla

So I’ve also found with drama try to get to its sores and try to ask very specific questions like well, was this your perception of a situation or was this actually what happened? Is this actually what was said or done? 

 

0:07:38 – Brian

Nice or not. 

 

0:07:39 – Kayla

Or is this? And then, if it’s someone that they truly seem to thrive in that space, I kind of whisper to them you may need to talk to someone. 

 

0:07:50 – Brian

And You’re a lot nicer and I am no, not always. 

 

0:07:53 – Kayla

I think so, because you don’t know what’s going on inside this head. 

 

0:07:56 – Brian

Well, how do you deal with? 

 

0:07:59 – Kayla

these drive you up a wall. Constant complainers. 

 

0:08:04 – Brian

Yeah, I can’t stick her. I can’t. I have to have hope. 

 

0:08:08 – Kayla

Mm, hmm. 

 

0:08:10 – Brian

I’m wired for hope, I have to have hope. And if every time I talk to you oh, whoa is me? Oh, this is wrong, that’s I’m done, I’m out, I’ve got to have some hope. And if all that you ever see is the bad stuff, if all you ever come talk about is the bad stuff, let me just say this I will spiral into a serious depression. I’ve got to have people around me. 

 

0:08:40 – Kayla

Yeah, see the good. What is that saying? You steer where you stare. Yeah, it’s kind of the same with negative people. Yeah you’re constantly around. Negative, you become negative. And there’s one unifying thought with all of these it reveals the what the heart, the heart. 

 

0:08:56 – Brian

And people are stupid, oh well that took a turn. Well, I’m just saying some of this is some of this is people don’t think before they talk. Yeah, and I’m guilty of that every single day of my life. 

 

0:09:10 – Kayla

Ok, but a lot of these reveal character traits that stem back to there is something going on inside. This one is hard because I think we’ve all either been guilty of this or we’ve been involved in this. A transactional air quotes friend, someone who only seeks you out when they need something from you or you’re benefiting them in some way. 

 

0:09:36 – Brian

Yeah, I’ve lived this several times in my life, I find friendship to be very difficult, extremely difficult, and I think we’ve talked about this on the podcast before. If the only time I hear from you is when you need something, if the only time you reach out is like is when you’re going through a crisis. 

 

0:09:56 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:09:57 – Brian

To me that’s a transactional friend. 

 

0:09:59 – Kayla

Mm-hmm. Or if you only want me when I can help pay for something, yeah, help provide something for you or make your life more comfortable. 

 

0:10:09 – Brian

Yeah. 

 

0:10:10 – Kayla

I’m not sure we’re really friends, correct, and that’s probably not gonna last long term and a lot of guys aren’t wired like me. 

 

0:10:19 – Brian

In other words, I like to chat, I like to talk, I like to share jokes. I like to do that. Some guys they don’t even want to talk to each other unless they’re sitting around a car they’re trying to fix or drinking beers or watching football. Yeah, you know I want to laugh. Cut up, be involved in your life. You’d be involved in mine. 

 

0:10:39 – Kayla

You’re an enneagram 2. Yeah, I want, yes 100%, you know so and that’s not a bad thing. So yeah, yeah, so. I think it just reminds all of us Be more of a giver than a taker in relationships, seeing less of what yourself is gaining and what you can be pouring out in that moment Someone who doesn’t share your faith. 

 

0:11:06 – Brian

I Don’t struggle with this as much, because I find them to be intriguing. I love talking to them, I love doing things for them because I feel like it’s an opportunity to show Jesus. That doesn’t bother me, I don’t. 

 

0:11:21 – Kayla

I’m not. You chose this one and I don’t struggle with this one. I just stay curious. 

 

0:11:27 – Brian

Love them, do a meal with them. Listen, you know people say well you know, if you Take them out to a meal, well then you’re you become like the five people you hang around. 

 

0:11:39 – Kayla

There’s truth in that, but also you can’t, just you’re not compromising your faith either. Yeah. 

 

0:11:46 – Brian

Look who Jesus hung around. Yes, so there’s that. How do you deal with people who live a lifestyle that you disagree with? Let me just say this every day I wake up, I wake up arrogant. I wake up selfish. I wake up cranky, I wake up just sinful. I Live a lifestyle by being arrogant, selfish, bent toward myself, bent away from God that you would disagree with. The this is the real issue is getting along with with people who sin differently Than we do. 

 

0:12:26 – Kayla

I think of the woman at the well, yeah, and I think of the moment when Jesus communicates to her I See you, and he doesn’t shy away Because of her sin. He know of all people, he knows her life, he knows the choices she’s made and yet he chooses to, in that exact moment, see her and he, he forgives her, a person. Now he does tell her go and live differently. But the first challenge in this is he didn’t just walk in there and blast her. 

 

0:13:07 – Brian

No, he loved her. 

 

0:13:08 – Kayla

It was he loved her first. He saw her as she was, and we’re never going to be able to. I’m trying to say this the right way. We are never going to be able to have influence with people who live different lifestyles If all we do is judge and hate. 

 

0:13:29 – Brian

And never let him into your life. 

 

0:13:31 – Kayla

We have to love and see people first. Amen and then perhaps God will open a door for them to hear something that draws them to him. 

 

0:13:40 – Brian

Preach. Here’s the final one. How do you deal with somebody who’s a control freak or abusive? 

 

0:13:47 – Kayla

You don’t. 

 

0:13:47 – Brian

You don’t. Let me just say that Full stop you don’t? 

 

0:13:51 – Kayla

There is a point where, regardless of what anyone else thinks of your choice, you have to do what is safest and best for you and perhaps those around you. 

 

0:14:03 – Brian

You are made in the image of God and you have value and you have worth, and so I would tell you to run as fast as you can get out of an abusive relationship. 

 

0:14:12 – Kayla

And get the help you need. Yes, because this one there is no, but I have to love them and I know if. If it’s a situation that is unsafe, you don’t see it, you, you get out of it. So, maybe some would disagree with that. You’re free to disagree, but nobody deserves to sit in that I agree. 

 

0:14:34 – Brian

So I’m going to say this go with God, love who you can. Yeah, Be the best you can be and don’t put up with people’s crap. 

 

0:14:43 – Kayla

And the hard truth. You have to coexist with difficult people. 

 

0:14:48 – Brian

Yes. 

 

0:14:49 – Kayla

Because, again, sometimes I am one. 

 

0:14:51 – Brian

No. 

 

0:14:52 – Kayla

But how can you cut through the? We all have it, that moment where you just tense up when that person comes around. How can you choose to see them differently If you’re willing to? 

 

0:15:05 – Brian

Hmm. 

 

0:15:08 – Kayla

Oh, this is going to be fun. 

 

0:15:10 – Brian

What. 

 

0:15:11 – Kayla

Today we’re going to play a little game called getting to know you. 

 

0:15:14 – Brian

Oh, I thought we were playing Yahtzee. 

 

0:15:16 – Kayla

Well, that would be interesting on a podcast, but okay. 

 

0:15:18 – Brian

When’s the last time we played Yahtzee? 

 

0:15:20 – Kayla

I don’t know, years ago. Okay, we have it at home, I think we have a Yahtzee game. 

 

0:15:26 – Brian

We do. 

 

0:15:27 – Kayla

Anyway, conversation starters here you go. These are some fun topics that you can bring up at your next dinner with friends or at family dinner night. What are three foods you refuse to eat? 

 

0:15:41 – Brian

Sushi oh beets. 

 

0:15:43 – Kayla

Okay. 

 

0:15:45 – Brian

And probably. 

 

0:15:48 – Kayla

I can’t believe it’s this hard for you. Sushi Beats and probably Brussels sprouts see my first one quickly is Brussels sprouts. Greens can’t handle. 

 

0:16:02 – Brian

Yeah, I turn up greens, not a fan. 

 

0:16:05 – Kayla

And yeah, so she’s not happy fish should be fried. I am. 

 

0:16:11 – Brian

I am from Louisiana. You need to batter that baby up, put it in some grease. Do not eat that mess raw. Okay, what would you say is one toxic or quirky habit you have? 

 

0:16:22 – Kayla

So this is a quirky one for me. Some would consider it toxic. I have hidden chocolate in multiple spots, everywhere. 

 

0:16:32 – Brian

And I’m okay with that toxic or quirk and when I answer this, that it could be toxic for me that I solve my stress with food and apparently, I do with chocolate so, and it used to be fried chicken, so I used to go get fried chicken a lot, so that was my thing. I miss it too. We were great friends. 

 

0:16:56 – Kayla

What is one thing that’s hard for you to comprehend? 

 

0:16:59 – Brian

The Trinity? I don’t understand. 

 

0:17:03 – Kayla

How they, how God is three and one. 

 

0:17:05 – Brian

Yeah, people give these examples, but every example falls short. 

 

0:17:09 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:17:10 – Brian

I’d like to understand that. And then in this passage you get this glimpse, and that passage you get that glimpse. So I believe in it. 

 

0:17:18 – Kayla

Wow, yours is so deep, mine is just people who say they hate to read. I struggle to understand. 

 

0:17:26 – Brian

Well, they’re not Christians. Oh, that’s a joke. Don’t write the podcast. 

 

0:17:31 – Kayla

Go ahead, so next one. 

 

0:17:33 – Brian

What was your favorite childhood toy? It had to be something Star Wars. It would have to be something Star Wars not your Batman mobile oh. I love. 

 

0:17:43 – Kayla

okay, I also had? 

 

0:17:45 – Brian

I am shocked. I had a bat cave, a bat mobile, uh-huh. I had the figures Batman Robin, Joker, Riddler and then also Ping. 

 

0:17:56 – Kayla

I have to say I think that was your favorite childhood back and they’re actually for sale on eBay. 

 

0:18:02 – Brian

What I had, oh my, I’d love to have it to display in the podcast studio, but I’m not gonna pay $300. 

 

0:18:10 – Kayla

Oh, okay. So you mine was a toss-up. I had a panda bear. Here we go. 

 

0:18:16 – Brian

I know it’s gonna be Pandy and I love it is dead. 

 

0:18:20 – Kayla

Stop it. I loved Pandy. See, even Godzilla fell over on that. Okay, he gets me. Okay, I might be back to being friends with Godzilla, thank you. Thank you for having my back. 

 

I’m gonna post a picture Godzilla and then I also had this may sound really creepy, but I had this doll that you could cut her hair and then you could turn this crank and it would grow new hair that then you could style and cut. It was weird now that I think back, but it was really cool wouldn’t run out of hair after, I guess so eventually. But yeah, I think they were hoping against hope that you wouldn’t continually cut her hair. 

 

0:18:57 – Brian

But we’ll go buy a new doll. I guess so. But wow, I think I remember those commercials. 

 

0:19:02 – Kayla

Yeah, it was fun. 

 

0:19:05 – Brian

My G I gel didn’t do that Just yeah, good to know. What is one thing you feel society would be better without? 

 

0:19:12 – Kayla

Social media platforms. I’m just gonna say it. 

 

0:19:16 – Brian

I’m gonna say, politicians, I wish we had a king. 

 

0:19:19 – Kayla

Wow. 

 

0:19:20 – Brian

A lot less argument, a lot less fussing and that kind of stuff. I’m a royalist. Bring on the king. 

 

0:19:28 – Kayla

Mark it down, gracious sakes. 

 

0:19:32 – Brian

So there’s, that. 

 

0:19:33 – Kayla

If you could adopt one new hobby or interest, what would it be? 

 

0:19:37 – Brian

Napping, buffet surfing. 

 

0:19:44 – Kayla

Stop. In all seriousness. 

 

0:19:47 – Brian

Napping. 

 

0:19:47 – Kayla

Napping for real. 

 

0:19:48 – Brian

Yes, I’d be down for napping. 

 

0:19:52 – Kayla

I would love to try my hand at painting Just for fun, I have no interest, I could care less. We would be terrible, but I would love to. I did this paint class one time with a friend and I really enjoyed it and it surprised me because I was terrified when we went in. But I think I would love to try my hand at it. 

 

0:20:11 – Brian

I’ve toyed with like photography. 

 

0:20:14 – Kayla

I could see you doing that. You’re really good this is my struggle except taking pictures of me, because you think every picture of me is great. It is, and I’m like really. 

 

0:20:23 – Brian

Let me say this Like to be a photographer. You got to go to these places, walk these miles, take a picture. I’m not going to spend two hours getting somewhere to spend two minutes to take a picture, Because that’s going to interrupt your new nap routine. Whoa, I see how this day is going to be. All right, well. 

 

0:20:42 – Kayla

So there we go. Those are some conversation starters. 

 

0:20:45 – Brian

Yeah. 

 

0:20:45 – Kayla

Apparently we just got it and some conversation enders too. I’m just saying. 

 

0:20:50 – Brian

I’m all righty. Hey, god save, the king, god save. Thanks for listening to this week’s podcast it’s. We are honored and we are privileged that you’re part of the peas and carrots family, and we had a winner yesterday. Each week, we give away a few of our peas and carrots coffee mugs. 

 

0:21:07 – Kayla

We do. There is a free mug and a pack of stickers. 

 

0:21:11 – Brian

Miss Kayla loves the stickers. 

 

0:21:12 – Kayla

Y’all the stickers are so cute. They really are. When you go to our website, look for the trivia button. Click that button at again peasandcarrotspodcast.com. This week’s question. 

 

0:21:25 – Brian

What was your favorite childhood toy? What was your favorite childhood toy? Yes, okay, so search the peas and carrots podcast at peasandcarrotspodcast.com.

 

0:21:36 – Kayla

Click that trivia button, answer that question. You’ll get an adorable mug and some very cute stickers. 

 

0:21:42 – Brian

Hey, and if you’re new to the podcast, you can get caught up on all the episodes. You just search peas and carrots podcast wherever you get your podcasts, or visit our website peasandcarrotspodcast.com. And when you do, please don’t forget to subscribe. Also, Hey, come and follow us on Facebook and Instagram. 

 

0:21:58 – Kayla

Just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast. 

 

0:22:00 – Brian

Da na na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, Batman.

 

0:22:03 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Growing through the challenges we face and finding hope along the way. That’s the Jesus Fix It Podcast with Jess. Check out JesusFixIt.com or search Jesus Fix It wherever you listen to podcasts. 

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