Season 3, Episode 11: Progress Over Perfection

Progress Over Perfection
Progress Over Perfection - Episode Description
Our studio is bursting with quirks and chuckles, and we, Brian and Kayla, can’t wait to bring you into the fold. Picture this: a Christmas tree and an Easter rabbit in a humorous standoff, a Star Wars pen collection growing faster than the Millennium Falcon can make the Kessel Run, and us – the couple who opts for a single entrée to avoid dozing off at the dinner table. But it’s not all giggles and themed mugs; we’re baring our souls too. Sit with us as we navigate the winding roads of healing and growth that follow life’s setbacks, drawing powerful parallels between bouncing back from personal struggles and recovering from major surgery. It’s an intimate look at how embracing change makes us tougher, wiser, and ready for the next chapter.
Then, buckle up for both laughter and learnings as we recount travel tales that veer off the beaten path. You’ll get our top tips to keep your travels smooth, including the lifesaving power of snacks and the art of staying zen amidst chaos. Stories of our own misadventures, like a treacherous hike at Nakalula Falls and a dental fiasco in Greece, will remind you to pack flexibility alongside your sense of humor. Share a laugh with us and pick up some travel wisdom that might just save your next vacation from going awry. And who knows? Your own travel tip could land you a cozy spot on our show – plus, some Peas and Carrots swag to boot.
Progress Over Perfection - Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 

 

0:00:11 – Brian

Welcome to the Peas and Carrots Podcast. I’m Kayla and I’m Brian. Hello to this week’s vegetable patch edition. Mm-hmm. And we’re surrounded now by like new critters. 

 

0:00:24 – Kayla

We are and we were gifted a mug, a new critters we are. And we were gifted a mug, a new mug. 

 

0:00:28 – Brian

Yeah, like a camp style mug. 

 

0:00:31 – Kayla

It’s very cute. 

 

0:00:32 – Brian

From Joy FM, one of the PAR radio stations. They did a Peas and Carrots edition mug. 

 

0:00:39 – Kayla

And we have these new mic flags. What in the world does that mean? 

 

0:00:43 – Brian

These go on the end of the microphone so that when we do pictures or video or something like that, you’ll see the logo. 

 

0:00:51 – Kayla

I see a little pea and a carrot looking at me, so it’s very cute. 

 

0:00:55 – Brian

Very, what Cute. You love cute stuff, don’t you? I do. 

 

0:00:58 – Kayla

So for those keeping score, our Christmas tree did not come down. I’m okay with that well, it was a very cold and dreary week so it kind of worked out it was a dark and stormy night. 

 

It worked out in our favor, but we ended up. We had a very busy weekend last weekend and we were traveling for the first half of the week, so I just never got to it. And and now the Easter rabbit is staring at the tree. So I think we have a showdown. Coming Easter rabbit. I have this stuffed. Well, it’s not really stuffed. 

 

0:01:34 – Brian

I’ve always called him the Easter bunny. 

 

0:01:36 – Kayla

Well, he’s a rabbit, the one I’m talking about. It’s the one that I got before Pier 1 closed. 

 

0:01:42 – Brian

He sits on the I know what he’s talking about before Pier 1 closed. 

 

0:01:45 – Kayla

He sits on the. I know what you’re talking about. He’s got attitude, he’s so cute, but he’s staring at the tree. So yeah, anyway, easter and Christmas are colliding at our house. This is where we are. We’re just a hot mess. You have a new obsession. 

 

0:01:57 – Brian

I do. 

 

0:01:59 – Kayla

It’s fun. 

 

0:01:59 – Brian

It is. My executive assistant, Adam, got me a Darth Vader pin for Christmas, and, as you know, I’m a Star Wars fan, so he told me where he got it from. So now I have a Kylo Ren pin, an R2-D2 pin as well, and there’s a Yoda one as well, so I’m probably going to order that one soon as well. Hilarious, they write so well, do they? Yeah, they write well, so I’m probably going to order that one soon as well. Hilarious they write so well do they, yeah, they write well. 

 

0:02:28 – Kayla

B. 

 

0:02:29 – Brian

Yes. 

 

0:02:30 – Kayla

We have become that couple. 

 

0:02:32 – Brian

In what way? 

 

0:02:34 – Kayla

What do we do when we go to a restaurant, we now share one entree. 

 

0:02:37 – Brian

Yes, we most certainly do. I’m not ashamed of it. And if it’s dinner, we definitely do, because we can’t go to bed on a full stomach, no, and we go to bed so early now that yeah, I went to bed at 7:45 last night and I fell asleep, napped for an hour and a half in the chair, hour and a half before that. 

 

0:02:55 – Kayla

So yeah, again, it’s been a busy week, but we are those people. We used to make fun of those people. 

 

0:03:01 – Brian

You know that right, yes, so here we are, the knw cafeteria. So yeah, I mean I don’t. This is like I’m not ashamed. I don’t know about y’all, but I’m not ashamed. I thought I had healed from that. I thought I was over it yeah, yeah, oh. 

 

0:03:23 – Kayla

I recently found myself dealing with a situation that just shook me. It left me questioning so many things and it was a trigger and I know everyone throws that word around but I found myself in a situation that just upended me. And yet here was my takeaway my initial reaction was not the greatest, but I found myself processing and responding, ultimately, in healthier ways than my old self would have. I got there a lot faster than I used to, so there were a few things that I realized, and you and I started talking about this because we’ve both had some hard situations lately. And do you ever feel like you kind of want to climb out of your own skin and just observe and watch how you’re doing with certain things? 

 

0:04:19 – Brian

If it helped me lose weight. 

 

0:04:20 – Kayla

I’d do that. 

 

0:04:22 – Brian

Go ahead. 

 

0:04:24 – Kayla

But the first thing that I realized is healing is not linear. It’s natural to experience setbacks up and down and it’s a choice to just not go back to the old ways or to default to the negative thinking. But yes, it is very it’s like up, down down two steps forward, one steps back. So that’s the first thing I realized. 

 

0:04:50 – Brian

What I liken that to is that consider having major surgery, that you have some major surgery for something and yet the doctor says you will recover, yeah, okay. Well, whenever I hear recover, I’m thinking I’m going to feel exactly the way before. I ever had this problem. Well, that may not be the case, because you may leave with a limp, you can still walk, you can still do it, and the healing works. Or you may need some rehab, or just some rehab, yeah, but you may not return to your former self. But you’re able to move forward. And in that example, what I like to think is that you probably leave tougher. Yeah, you probably leave wiser. 

 

0:05:35 – Kayla

Because you have to be a little bit scrappy in the recovery.

 

0:05:39 – Brian

Yeah, so for me in that is, we have this false thing that because I’ve been through this, okay, I want to go back to what life was like before that happened. You’re not going to be able to go through that at all. Okay, for example, whenever my dad died, whenever your dad died, you can’t go back to life before that happened. You can’t have that kind of peace again, but you can have a new life. 

 

0:06:09 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:06:11 – Brian

And a life will actually grow up around that grief. That’s just an example. I’m using. 

 

0:06:16 – Kayla

That’s good. I’ve also been reminded that I’m not responsible all the time for what happens, because there are things outside of our control, but I am responsible for how I react in those situations. That is on me and that’s hard because we’re all human and sometimes that looks like we want to react in anger or we want to react in. 

 

0:06:46 – Brian

I would react in anger. 

 

0:06:48 – Kayla

Or we want justice or we want to have our say, and that’s not always the way it should be. Sometimes, the best thing we can do is just sit with it and ultimately ask God what are you trying to teach me here? What is it about me that you’re trying to grow in this process? 

 

0:07:10 – Brian

That makes me think of Joseph in the Old Testament. He was thrown into a pit sold into slavery. He was accused of a sexual crime that he didn’t commit, forgotten about in prison, finally got out, became governor of Egypt. 

 

0:07:27 – Kayla

And this was all after his brother sold him. 

 

0:07:29 – Brian

Yeah, this is all after yeah, he had such a smooth ride. Yeah, Got off on a great foot there. But throughout that whole time, when you read it, Joseph kept saying but the Lord is with me. 

 

0:07:42 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:07:43 – Brian

And I don’t know I’m going to be honest. I don’t know if I could say that I’m just being brutally honest. 

 

0:07:50 – Kayla

No, because I’d be like God where are you? 

 

0:07:52 – Brian

Yes. 

 

0:07:53 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:07:54 – Brian

That’s a faith, but at the same time, I also believe this that Joseph, while he’s in that pit, while he’s in that prison, the Lord would give grace for you to believe that, for you to trust in that. 

 

0:08:10 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:08:11 – Brian

So that’s where I am. So there’s a truth here. Joseph is a good reminder that God will use our mess and he’s not abandoned us. It may not feel like he’s there. 

 

0:08:24 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:08:26 – Brian

But he’s there. Therefore, think about this how many different things did Joseph have to go through before he felt healed, before he felt delivered? 

 

0:08:37 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:08:38 – Brian

And all that stuff he was going through. It was equipping him, getting him ready for what was coming. 

 

0:08:42 – Kayla

That’s right. Yeah Well, it made him a heck of a leader one day. 

 

0:08:45 – Brian

It did, yeah, it did. 

 

0:08:47 – Kayla

Another one for me. I can choose not to be defined by what is happening. 

 

0:08:54 – Brian

I don’t really want to talk about that. 

 

0:08:55 – Kayla

Rejection does not make me a reject. Being overlooked does not make me invisible. Making others feel small does not make me bigger. Make me bigger. Those are all truths that when we’re going through a hard situation, it’s good to reject those voices or those patterns of behavior that well, if I could just feel better about myself. At what cost are we going to do that? I think that’s the question we have to ask ourselves. And it’s hard. 

 

0:09:31 – Brian

You said I can be rejected, but I’m not a rejection. 

 

0:09:37 – Kayla

A reject yeah. 

 

0:09:38 – Brian

Reject. There’s a meme that keeps coming up on my Instagram and I haven’t shared it and it’s very personal to me. I don’t know how this meme keeps finding me. It says you have fat, you are not fat, and I’ve seen this like two or three times now and I get so emotional when I see it. 

 

0:10:03 – Kayla

Yeah. Because, you fear that. That’s how you are defined. 

 

0:10:07 – Brian

Oh yes, a hundred percent. Because whenever I walk into a room, the first thing you see about me is my size. Now, at the same time, you’re talking about rejection. This is hard for me, because I struggle with acceptance and rejection. That’s a big deal for me as an Enneagram too. A big deal for me as an Enneagram too. So I try to stay grounded, and I mean this because I remind myself that Jesus loves me, Jesus accepts me, and that you, Miss Kayla, you love me and that you have accepted me. 

 

0:10:41 – Kayla

And the truth is so do many others. But when you’re struggling with something that’s kind of kicked you on the back of your heels, it’s hard to believe that. Yes, the last one for me is progress over perfection. I live by the once. I know better, do better mindset, and as God reveals areas to me that I still need to work some more in it’s on me to embrace that, but also to accept that the truth is I’m created in his image. He loves me. He knows the things that I’m going to need some pruning or some time, and it doesn’t take anything away from how he sees me and how valued I am by him, from how he sees me and how valued I am by him. 

 

When I need to learn that lesson for the 10th or the 20th time or I regress to something that I thought that I had outgrown, it’s hard for me to forgive myself. When I do go back to either a pattern of behavior or a mindset where I’m believing all those worst like tapes running through my head. Well, you should have figured this out by now. You should have grown in this. This shouldn’t bother you anymore. This shouldn’t be something that you struggle with. God’s in the midst of all that, and there’s something he’s still wanting me to learn, and that’s why he keeps presenting these situations for me. 

 

0:12:13 – Brian

I struggle with perfection in certain areas, like whenever I speak before people. I want to be perfect. I don’t want to stutter, I want to have all the right points, and sometimes I’ll get trapped within my own personality, like I want to share a joke or something like that and that can derail me and that will beat me up. I want to be perfect when it comes to food, but I love pepperoni, so that gets me in trouble. 

 

0:12:46 – Kayla

You are brutal to yourself if you make a mistake during the day, like if you feel like you mis-stepped with a team member. 

 

0:12:54 – Brian

I feel like I’ve disappointed them and OK, this goes back to this, and now they’re not going to accept me, they’re going to reject me and ultimately they could leave the organization, and I’m trying hard to lay that expectation down. 

 

0:13:08 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:13:08 – Brian

Because it does suffocate me. And the bottom line there is remembering that we don’t have that expectation down. 

 

0:13:11 – Kayla

Yeah, because it does suffocate me, and the bottom line there is remembering that we don’t have that much control. God is ultimately sovereign over all of this. 

 

0:13:19 – Brian

That got said. You’re 100% right. Why do you have to be so smart and be so wise? 

 

0:13:26 – Kayla

Oh, I wish, oh, you are, you are. So there we go. Just some thoughts on if there’s something in your life that you’re struggling with and you feel like it’s just a broken record and you keep having to face this again and again, you keep having to revisit this hard situation, look back at how a former version of you would have dealt with it and see even the incremental ways that God is working in and through you. 

 

0:13:59 – Brian

Very powerful. Before we get started on this next segment, I just want to paint a picture for folks to, here we go. 

 

0:14:13 – Kayla

I just want to paint a picture for folks behind Miss Kayla. 

 

0:14:14 – Brian

There’s a table what in the world? 

 

0:14:16 – Kayla

and there are one two, three, you have four Godzillas sitting there are four Godzillas and there’s two or three more in my office. 

 

0:14:21 – Brian

I need to bring over this is out of control, but this is what a podcast studio should look like no, it should not yes and then behind her, against the wall, is Abraham L… 

 

0:14:30 – Kayla

It’s a real mix match of things in here. 

 

0:14:34 – Brian

I’ve got. 

 

0:14:34 – Kayla

Darth Vader to my left. 

 

0:14:37 – Brian

Wow, and then here on the studio console. 

 

0:14:40 – Kayla

Apparently, my only contribution is a Peas and Carrots stuffy, so.

 

0:14:48 – Brian

Bitter party of one. Your table is ready, anyway. Party of one. Here’s ready. Anyway, party of one. Here we are okay. 

 

0:14:53 – Kayla

So I, just now, I’m creeped out by what’s behind me he’s not gonna bother you he’s. He’s a titan. He saves, oh my gosh. Okay. So here we are our best travel tips and a couple of travel stories. So this will be fun. Um, it’s getting close to you. There’s spring break trips. It’s that time of year where people are going to start planning their summer vacation. So we thought we would share with you just a few things we’ve learned as a couple, and, of course, we’re being self-deprecating, so just bear with us. 

 

0:15:28 – Brian

But, for example, you need to accept that one of you likes to arrive at the airport three hours before the flight and the other one doesn’t mind getting there one hour before. So go ahead and accept that you’re going to get there Three hours before yes, you’re welcome. 

 

0:15:46 – Kayla

Never missed a flight because of me. 

 

0:15:47 – Brian

We live with an airport that has six gates. I don’t care, six Uh-huh. Never missed a flight because of me. We live with an airport that has six gates. Don’t care, six Uh-huh. We could get there 45 minutes before the flight and we’d be fine. 

 

0:15:58 – Kayla

So that leads to my next tip Pack snacks, because nothing says a bad travel day, like two hangry people who are likely also tired because one of them insisted on that three-hour pre-flight window. So pack snacks. 

 

0:16:17 – Brian

I’m a snack fan, you know. So yeah, crackers, that kind of stuff I’m good, and usually we’re there. So early in the morning that the little store, the little place isn’t open yet. Not that I’m angry about that. 

 

0:16:28 – Kayla

I’m a little sassy about this. 

 

0:16:29 – Brian

Okay, I’m not. You were going after Godzilla earlier. Oh my gosh, there it is there. If I can get one of those a day, I consider that a win, a successful day for the day. I can go home. I can go home all right. 

 

0:16:44 – Kayla

What would you say is your next tip? 

 

0:16:46 – Brian

okay, for me, my tip would be don’t create extra stress. Be the calm one. 

 

0:16:53 – Kayla

What does that mean? Tread carefully. 

 

0:16:59 – Brian

One of you is probably going to worry about everything. Is the gate going to change, is the plane going to be on time, will we land there on time? And your point I’m giving out a travel tip, okay, okay. So one of you will probably be worried about everything, the other one of you. You need to be calm and project that and that everything will be okay. And even if it’s not, what can you change about it? And you might get there a little bit later. So to me, that kind of helps balance things out. Okay, that’s my tip. 

 

0:17:35 – Kayla

Which lends to what you were also about to share, which is another good one Leverage your strengths, and that’s kind of what you were hinting at. Who can keep up with the details? That would be me we’re not naming names, oh, as if we weren’t with the. Don’t create stress. And who can weave in spontaneity and fun? Because you do. Sometimes you just need to chill out and there are things again. Wow, there’s a lot about control in this episode, but there are things that you can control and there are things you can’t. So one of you needs to keep up with the time of the flights and all that jazz, but one of you needs to make sure that you’re having fun along the way. So there we go. 

 

0:18:23 – Brian

For this is my final tip Go somewhere you love Now. I don’t mind trying a new adventure. That’s fine, but be comfortable with wherever you’re going to go. 

 

0:18:31 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:18:32 – Brian

Now we have changed our plans because, after we thought about it, we’re like, we’re not. 

 

0:18:36 – Kayla

There’s a lot going on in the world. We were actually we’ve shared in another podcast we were going to go to Italy this summer. After some discussion and just looking at well, first of all, some things going on in life around us and then things going on in the world around us, we opted to stay in the United. States this summer. So yeah, so yeah. Make sure that you’re both on the same page with your travel plans. Which lends us to a couple of stories. 

 

0:19:06 – Brian

A couple of stories. There was a concert series that would always show up in Gadsden, Alabama. I’m a big Southern Gospel music guy. There’s two groups Gold City and then the Kingsman. I’m a huge Kingsman fan. 

 

0:19:20 – Kayla

And we would go for their reunion. 

 

0:19:22 – Brian

Yes, we would go there for that, and there’s a place there called. 

 

0:19:27 – Kayla

Nakalula Falls. It’s beautiful. 

 

0:19:29 – Brian

It is, and it’s named after an Indian girl. 

 

0:19:32 – Kayla

Yeah, there’s this whole story. There’s a whole story there.

 

0:19:35 – Brian

But you can go hiking down to Noccalula Falls. We were told it was a moderate hike. 

 

0:19:43 – Kayla

Well, their definition of a moderate hiking trail does not match ours, because we nearly died. 

 

0:19:49 – Brian

Coming back up that. 

 

0:19:50 – Kayla

We got to the bottom it wasn’t bad. 

 

0:19:52 – Brian

Oh, it was too coming back up that. 

 

0:19:55 – Kayla

We got to the bottom. Going down wasn’t bad. Oh it was too. 

 

0:19:58 – Brian

But coming back up, but getting back up from I thought y’all were going to leave me down there. 

 

0:20:00 – Kayla

Listen, if they’d had cell phones back then, we’d have been texting somebody and saying send a helicopter. 

 

0:20:06 – Brian

Because it was rough, it was hot. 

 

0:20:08 – Kayla

Yes. 

 

0:20:09 – Brian

Oh, I think we have a picture of us coming up. Oh, hot, yes, oh, I think we have a picture of us coming up. 

 

0:20:12 – Kayla

Oh my gosh, yeah, it was not a good and y’all, this was back in the 90s and some girl had the idea to wear her denim overalls and I was dying by the time we got back to the top. 

 

0:20:23 – Brian

So then there was a time that we took a trip to Turkey, to the seven churches of the Revelation, uh-huh. On the way back, maybe was it to Greece or to Turkey. 

 

0:20:34 – Kayla

It was to Greece. This was when we went to Greece. 

 

0:20:37 – Brian

So we’re coming back from Greece on the plane and I look at you and your mouth is swollen. 

 

0:20:42 – Kayla

Like a chipmunk. 

 

0:20:43 – Brian

I said baby, are you okay? You’re like I’m hurting. 

 

0:20:46 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:20:47 – Brian

And on the flight from Greece to back to new Orleans, 14 hours. 

 

0:20:54 – Kayla

The dentist told me the next day that due to the change in pressure on the plane, an already aggravated wisdom tooth it caused a reaction. And it was impacted and it got very angry and so my entire jaw swelled. We got very angry and so my entire jaw swelled. We got home Sunday. I was at the dentist on Monday and on Wednesday I had all of my wisdom teeth out, so it was quite an adventure. 

 

0:21:22 – Brian

It was yeah, and it was. 

 

0:21:24 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:21:25 – Brian

I guess we’re scaring our people with our travel stories here. 

 

0:21:28 – Kayla

No, I mean, it was good. 

 

0:21:30 – Brian

You got to be flexible because stuff’s going to happen. That’s right, and remember this that whatever does happen, it will create a great story. 

 

0:21:38 – Kayla

Oh, absolutely. It’s very random, but anytime we mentor a young couple, the one thing we tell them about your wedding is something’s going to go wrong that day. 

 

0:21:49 – Brian

But you’re going to laugh about it later. 

 

0:21:51 – Kayla

It’s going to be the thing that you remember and you will laugh about it for years to come. So, as you are making your travel plans, just prepare for something to go sideways and just have fun with it. 

 

0:22:05 – Brian

I remember one time at Disney we were down there and we saw this family, probably five or six of them, leaving the hotel and they’re like are y’all ready to go to the happiest place on earth? And all the little kids. 

 

0:22:16 – Kayla

Everybody’s smiling, everybody’s smiling. 

 

0:22:18 – Brian

The girls are in their little princess outfits and we see them, I guess, four or five hours later at a Disney park and there’s a total meltdown. 

 

0:22:29 – Kayla

And it’s the adults having a meltdown, not the kids. The dad is losing it. 

 

0:22:33 – Brian

The dad says this is not the happiest. I mean he’s having a fit. We just kept on walking. 

 

0:22:39 – Kayla

We just kept laughing. 

 

0:22:40 – Brian

Dad needed a nap. Yeah, that would have been good. Hey, thanks for listening to this week’s episode, and you could win a peas and carrots coffee mug and Miss Kayla’s favorite, the stickers. A pack of stickers. Yeah so, but you have to answer a trivia question correctly, so you have to go to our website go to peasandcarrotspodcast.com. 

 

0:23:04 – Kayla

Look for the trivia button, click that and here’s what we want to know. Okay, what is a travel tip that you would share with us? Because I know there are many, many more. We did not share all of them, but what would you share with us and we’ll share that on a future podcast. 

 

0:23:23 – Brian

So what’s your travel tip? If you answer that question, you simply go to our website. 

 

0:23:28 – Kayla

Peasandcarrotspodcast.com 

 

0:23:30 – Brian

And you click on the trivia button, answer that question. When you do, we’ll send you a mug and some cute stickers. 

 

0:23:37 – Kayla

You can search Peas and Carrots Podcast wherever you get your podcasts, or visit our website at peasandcarrotspodcast.com. When you do, please don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast. 

 

0:23:47 – Brian

You can also follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast. I love all the Godzillas behind me. 

 

0:23:54 – Kayla

Oh my gosh. 

 

0:23:55 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Life’s not perfect. That’s why God gave us friends like Melody and Candi. Check out QuirksBumpsandBruises.com, or search Quirks, Bumps, and Bruises wherever you listen to podcasts. 

 

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Season 3, Episode 7: Bye, Busy Bee

Bye, Busy Bee - Episode Description

Welcome to the Peas and Carrots Podcast, where the ordinary becomes extraordinary through a symphony of laughter. Your hosts, Brian and Kayla Sanders, invite you into their world of marital mirth and everyday absurdities. This episode takes a deep dive into the comedic side of marriage and life’s most mundane moments. Listen in as they share heartwarming and hilarious stories from their personal “vegetable patch” of life.

They take you on a journey of their shared life, revealing the quirks and quips of their marriage. From their comedic crusade against dirty dishes to answered prayers, Brian and Kayla show how laughter and self-awareness are the key ingredients to their marital journey. This podcast is not just about listening, but about engaging with the stories and finding yourself nodding and laughing along. Whether it’s Kayla’s confession of a spoon-assisted mayo spread or Brian’s, this podcast promises to add a dash of laughter to your day. So pull up a chair, and prepare to embrace the laughter with the Peas and Carrots Podcast.

Bye, Busy Bee - Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 

 

0:00:11 – Kayla

Welcome to the Peas and Carrots Podcast. I’m Brian and I’m Kayla.

 

0:00:14 – Brian

Welcome to this week’s edition of “what’s growin’ in the vegetable patch.”

 

0:00:18 – Kayla

Well, well, we have a variety of things. We any of them moldy? 

 

0:00:24 – Brian

Oh, I hope not. Oh, we have to throw away strawberries. 

 

0:00:27 – Kayla

That brain of yours is a magical place. We did have to throw away strawberries the other day. We had some pretty nasty strawberries. I opened the, so I always Wash them and cut them and put them in a container. And when I open the container, you declared what. 

 

0:00:44 – Brian

Oh, something’s rotten Kind of hit us. Yeah, anyway, okay we’re very random. 

 

0:00:51 – Kayla

Well so I am officially. Where did I leave my heating pad? Stage of life and she’s got to, I do. 

 

0:01:00 – Brian

She’s got a little avocado one which she just clears. Quote is the cutest y’all this thing is fantastic Okay. I do not work for this company. 

 

0:01:08 – Kayla

Hold on, I have to share this. It’s shaped like an avocado, it’s a little stuffed avocado and it has dried like Wheatgrass or something and lavender, so when you heat it that legal wheatgrass. Well, I mean, I hope so. I bought it off Amazon, but it’s amazing. So not only does it like work as a heating pad, but it also Provides relaxation because you have the lavender. 

 

0:01:33 – Brian

So yeah, and then you got a second one and it’s got like little corn. I will corn yeah you like that one. Every time you warm it up, I smell like pop, yeah, like we’re having popcorn so but here I am. 

 

0:01:46 – Kayla

This is who I am now and you put on your leg. 

 

0:01:48 – Brian

We’re you fell. Yes, it’s helping a lot, so so Okay gentlemen, no, ma’am, ladies and gentlemen, we have an update. 

 

0:01:58 – Kayla

You’ve been waiting for two weeks to share this. 

 

0:02:01 – Brian

Yes, I have a while back on the podcast, uh-huh. 

 

0:02:05 – Kayla

a major topic was I Spread mayonnaise with a spoon and I normally still to this day Spread mayo with a knife. 

 

0:02:18 – Brian

We were at dinner the other evening. I was being lazy and she took a spoon and spread mayo. 

 

0:02:25 – Kayla

Yeah, and I will never live this down. 

 

0:02:28 – Brian

And, as my dad would say, you, you just lathered that bread up with that spoon, with that mayo and you have not let me live it down. Well come to how the rest of the world, oh, no, no, no, no, oh yes, yes, yes, I will march my little tail across the kitchen for a night next week. 

 

You got to use that little word. I put a splash in my cup of tea and now you have fallen down to where the rest of us are. Spread mayo with a spoon. Okay, the queen is off her throne.

 

0:03:00 – Kayla

Whatever. I need to give a shout out to our delightful neighbors, and these are not the ones that were bugging me with the Christmas lights, even though Jesus checked my heart. They turned their lights from Christmas lights to Valentine lights, and now they are St. Patrick’s Day lights. 

 

They got all green and I, just just to show that I’m not a complete troll, I love the festive nature of it, so a troll? Well, when you’re grumbling about someone’s Christmas lights maybe you will, but I don’t think it’s a troll, but no, I just, I am loving it and I’m here for this every evening I get to see their green St. Patrick lights and it’s just awesome. 

 

0:03:38 – Brian

So, yes, thank you to them and this week you had a very emotional moment. 

 

0:03:44 – Kayla

I did. 

 

0:03:45 – Brian

God answered a significant prayer. Yeah, that you’ve been praying for how long. 

 

0:03:51 – Kayla

Nine years. 

 

0:03:54 – Brian

We’re not gonna get into the details of it. 

 

0:03:56 – Kayla

No, I don’t. I don’t really want to do that at this time, but I have been praying something very, very specific and God answered it this week. So I say, do not quit talking to him. If there’s something that’s just burning within you, just keep coming before him. You know what? I’m happy until he makes it clear either yes or no you know what I’m happy about? 

 

0:04:21 – Brian

Yeah, it wasn’t like get rid of B, because I’m still here. Oh Well, on that note, anyway, it’s just saying but it was a y’all, I’m just saying don’t, I agree with her, don’t quit praying. The Lord hears you, he does and he will answer in his time. That’s what this is proof of and that’s a little frustrating at times. 

 

0:04:42 – Kayla

Oh yeah. 

 

0:04:45 – Brian

What are we learning about rest? Mm-hmm almost start here. I fall asleep at what time now? 

 

0:04:53 – Kayla

Okay, you have become that person, now that at 7:30 at night, you are zoning out did not have to open this up with. 

 

0:05:00 – Brian

You have become that person. That’s very judgmental coming from the lady who spreads mayonnaise with a spoon. Okay, it’s your bad habit. 

 

0:05:09 – Kayla

What whole spoon thing Anyway. 

 

I fall asleep now you and I’ve been talking a lot about this topic and we’ve we’ve covered it once before, but it’s worthy of revisiting because it seems to be the elusive for a lot of people, and so we were chatting the other night about as much as I joke it was good to see you resting. You were genuinely relaxed, you were, and so these are just some thoughts we have on real rest. When did I’m so busy, become a badge of honor? Is it perhaps more a defense mechanism, because we fear what people will think if every hour of our day Isn’t filled with something meaningful? 

 

0:06:00 – Brian

I think it’s like I’m more successful than you. I’m busier than you, so I’m more successful. Hmm. And it makes me better than you. 

 

0:06:09 – Kayla

Yeah, it’s like it’s something to be proud of being busy. 

 

0:06:14 – Brian

Now let me say this I think that we think we’re good people if we’re earning something, If we’re busy yeah like I’m trying to earn the boss’s respect, I’m trying to earn the next level up at work. 

 

0:06:29 – Kayla

I’m trying to look more irreplaceable than you. 

 

0:06:32 – Brian

Yes, yeah and so I think that lends toward our busyness. But is it good to be busy at the right things? Yes, but we shouldn’t get our self-worth From that busyness. Yeah, now that’s tough for me Because a lot of my identity is wrapped up in being a leader and being an author and that kind of stuff, and so If I’m not busy, sometimes it becomes does Brian have value? Now I’ve gotten better about that. 

 

0:07:08 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:07:09 – Brian

I have gotten better about that, because I’m trying to learn that my self-worth comes from the love of Christ, not from my efforts, not from my busyness. 

 

0:07:20 – Kayla

Yes so. 

 

Something I have learned the best rest that I can give myself is when my heart is at rest. I’m learning to carve out space for my mind and heart to rest, because we all carry so much heavy stuff and Sometimes resting in Christ looks like trusting him to carry the things that I can’t or shouldn’t carry on my own. And I am. You know, I’m the world’s worst. I’m always worrying about or thinking about something, and I’ve been working really consciously this year to just set things down and let my heart Rest, let my mind have peace, and it’s hard fought. I’m not gonna pretend this is easy. 

 

0:08:17 – Brian

Yeah, we’re different in this respect is that she, like I, can have something going on in my world. Yeah but I have the ability to like Shelf it. Oh, I can’t like. I have the ability like okay, I’ll shelf that and I’ll deal with that tomorrow. No, and you can’t. 

 

0:08:36 – Kayla

I’m constantly trying to either fix it or problem solve it, or repair it or whatever it needs. I’m trying to do that. Either I’m thinking of that next conversation that’s gonna need to take place, or I’m thinking of that next concern that I’m gonna need to address, or, yeah, it’s just cool. 

 

0:08:55 – Brian

So I’m trying. You’re doing great. I Do find it odd that the way that you oftentimes rest is to organize things. 

 

0:09:05 – Kayla

I Do like you learn that. Yeah, look at her smile. She will organize what you’re kind of sharing my secrets here. 

 

0:09:13 – Brian

Well, she loves to organize the pantry, she loves to organize her closet, even though she may have just organized it 30 days ago. 

 

0:09:20 – Kayla

You know it signals what I’m trying to do, what process process something. Yeah, so yeah, but I just find that I’ll rearrange something nine times out of ten, putting it right back the way it was, but yeah, there we are, but you feel better I do, okay, well, that’s what matters. 

 

0:09:36 – Brian

Building on what miss K said about resting in Christ, I Need us to hear this Jesus came because we can’t earn our way to heaven. We are flawed, we are depraved, we are sinful. Okay, so you have to release yourself from the burden that you can work your way to his favor. 

 

Amen you can work your way to his grace, and when you and so what we mean by resting in Christ is you rest in him, that only he Can provide you with the righteousness needed To know God and to know his peace. That’s what we mean by that. It doesn’t mean not doing anything. Now because you are resting in Christ as your only solution. That should lead you to like do things for him. 

 

We should pursue him, we should worship him, we should live our lives in ways that glorify him but those things do not earn favor, they do not earn grace, they do not earn any of that. Yeah, and that’s hard for me, that’s hard for all of us. How many of us wanted our dads to be proud of us? Yeah, I Did, and it’s one of the last things that my dad ever said to me and we carry that over to our relationship with Jesus is that we want him to be proud of us. 

 

0:10:58 – Kayla

So we try to do all this stuff but the truth is, we get to rest in the work that he did. Yes, that’s the beautiful when that really sinks in. Yes, we can truly rest in all that he accomplished on our behalf. 

 

0:11:16 – Brian

So yeah, give yourself a break. Stop trying to earn grace, trying to earn favor. Yeah, lay it down at his feet. 

 

0:11:25 – Kayla

There’s an old saying put on your own oxygen mask first. We’ve all heard that I’m no good to those around me if I haven’t properly rested. So the reason that this is so important for all of us is if we are not taking care of our basic needs, we can’t take care of others because we’re gonna be too exhausted. 

 

0:11:50 – Brian

You’re gonna be snippy not you, but oh. 

 

0:11:53 – Kayla

Well, I admit that in a minute no. 

 

0:11:54 – Brian

I think you’re snippy. 

 

0:11:55 – Kayla

Oh, I am what I’m tired Really. Oh, have you lived with me. 

 

0:12:00 – Brian

Yes, but I wouldn’t use the word snippy. Oh, all right, I Would use the word done like I’m okay, that’s what I would use. 

 

0:12:10 – Kayla

So be. How do you rest? What do you recommend? I check I read a book, yeah. 

 

0:12:15 – Brian

I’ll watch a show. I’ll watch a favorite television series or a favorite movie. I’ll take a nap. 

 

0:12:22 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:12:24 – Brian

I’ll try and take a walk. 

 

0:12:25 – Kayla

I was gonna say, for me it looks like either as you alluded, organizing something, because it helps me to understand. 

 

0:12:34 – Brian

It just helps me to rice like the numbers of rice in a bag. 

 

0:12:39 – Kayla

No, we’re not, we’re gonna not very restful. Sometimes I will read a book, sometimes I will go for a walk just getting some fresh air and clearing my brain, but a lot of times it’s those quiet moments in our house when the day is done, when when the work is finished for now, and it can just be that you and I are sitting in a shared space, and In that moment is when I find that I can truly have rest and it’s very sweet, hmm. 

 

0:13:10 – Brian

but we all go know that there are seasons in our lives that are just chaos. 

 

0:13:18 – Kayla

Yeah, they’re just so busy. They’re just so busy but it’s how we react to that. 

 

There’s so much truth when I find myself and this is what I’m willing to confess If I’m resentful or I’m complaining, easily frustrated or you know this about me if I am highly emotional or sensitive because I’m not normally, I’m not taken to like big emotion swings I can almost always trace it back to being tired, and it may not just be that I’m physically tired. But do I just need to rest? Do I need like a mental break? Or those are tells for me. So I wonder for all of us, what is it that we need to take a look at and evaluate? How am I giving away my tiredness? 

 

0:14:09 – Brian

I’ll be sharp. If I’m tired, I’ll be sharp. Would you agree with that? I mean you do no, I’m just saying would you agree with that? 

 

0:14:18 – Kayla

Well, I mean, I don’t wanna say something that’s gonna hurt your feelings. 

 

0:14:21 – Brian

It’s not gonna hurt my feelings, I don’t have any feelings. 

 

0:14:23 – Kayla

You look cranky when you’re tired, Okay that’s good, impatient.

 

0:14:28 – Brian

We’ll leave it there. Most of the leadership team would say that’s every day he must come exhausted into work every day. 

 

0:14:35 – Kayla

No, it’s a different kind of impatience. So, yeah, it’s very rare that I see it honestly, but it’s a tell for me that you’re tired. 

 

0:14:44 – Brian

But You’ll be like B go eat a cooking, take a nap. Okay, baby, I’m all about a cookie. Go watch a movie, go watch a movie, so y’all keep yourself a break. Yeah, take a nap and rest in him. Don’t try and earn his favor. 

 

0:15:02 – Kayla

And when you say, oh, I’m so busy, is it with passion or is it with gloating? 

 

0:15:10 – Brian

Or complaining. I’m the martyr. Look at me. What’s the tone behind your busy? It’s your motive, yeah, yeah. So you wanted to share some stories this week. 

 

0:15:22 – Kayla

Well, we’re gonna go back to the beginning, okay, so yeah, the first story she wanted to share. 

 

0:15:28 – Brian

Now we work for a radio ministry. 

 

0:15:32 – Kayla

We do. 

 

0:15:33 – Brian

This morning the topic on Spirit FM that Jess had. 

 

0:15:36 – Kayla

Mm-hmm. 

 

0:15:37 – Brian

Was what was something that you did that. 

 

0:15:41 – Kayla

That revealed your laziness, okay. 

 

0:15:44 – Brian

Yeah, I said something to Miss Kayla. 

 

0:15:47 – Kayla

And I shared it with Jess. 

 

0:15:48 – Brian

Yeah, who texted the morning show host, Jess at Spirit FM. So I’m gonna confess this when I was single, before I ever met you. 

 

0:15:57 – Kayla

Oh, it was before we met. Okay. 

 

0:16:00 – Brian

I would go to Walmart, or I would go to Thrift store or to the thrift. Well, it was at that point. I was going to thrift stores, but I’d also go to Walmart, uh-huh, and I would buy the cheapest set of plates and the cheapest set of silverware each week, so I wouldn’t have to wash dishes. 

 

0:16:18 – Kayla

What would you do with them, babe? 

 

0:16:20 – Brian

I’d throw them away. 

 

0:16:21 – Kayla

Why didn’t you just buy paper plates? 

 

0:16:24 – Brian

Because I might have been trying to date certain girls and have them over. 

 

0:16:29 – Kayla

Oh, my gosh. 

 

0:16:30 – Brian

And I didn’t notice. 

 

0:16:31 – Kayla

I’ve never heard this angle. 

 

0:16:32 – Brian

Well, why do you think I didn’t have paper plates? I didn’t think women would be impressed. Y’all should see her face. 

 

0:16:42 – Brian

Do you think you bring them over for dinner and you serve them on paper plates? 

 

0:16:47 – Kayla

So, but what would you do after said date left? What would you do with the plates? I don’t need them on paper. Throw them away. Throw them away. Yes, instead of what. 

 

0:16:58 – Brian

After we started dating, what did you say? 

 

0:17:02 – Kayla

We are not throwing plates away anymore, so I started having to go get paper plate. 

 

0:17:07 – Brian

So but it worked out. I mean, oh my God, you can buy cheap. 

 

0:17:11 – Kayla

See, I’ve been married to you for 30 years and I just learned the angle. That is not true. I did not know Listen, as God is my witness I did not know the reason why you weren’t back. Throw away my pink blanket. The people do not want to hear about your pink blanket. No, you don’t want to hear about your pink blanket. 

 

0:17:30 – Brian

You’re using the people as a shield. 

 

0:17:33 – Kayla

One day, the pink blanket story will be shared. They’ll be on my side. So I’m okay. They’re going to be on my side with this one too. I really missed that. I get, I grew up in a house where there was the grease bucket, and if you’re a good southern person, you know exactly what I’m talking about. You save the grease from your bacon or from your like cooking. I went to pull out. We were about four weeks from getting married. 

 

0:18:00 – Brian

We had been gifted so much stuff that you’re living with your mom and step. 

 

0:18:05 – Kayla

I was still living at home. 

 

0:18:06 – Brian

And I was 10 minutes away in a but. 

 

0:18:08 – Kayla

I was bringing some of our wedding gifts and going ahead and placing them in the cabinet. 

 

0:18:14 – Brian

Before you finish this story, I want to apologize for what happened. Okay, just want to go on the record. I’m sorry, very bad about this, but go ahead, I still have shiny hair. There was so much that is not true. 

 

0:18:25 – Kayla

I pulled out this pot that was in the top cabinet, shoved in the back, and I pulled it out thinking oh, it’s empty. It was full of old grease that when the lid fell off and hit the floor, the grease starts to pour all down me, for my hair, down my shoulders, down my shirt. I think I screamed and you came running. I smelled like old bacon grease for like a week. 

 

0:18:55 – Brian

Can I just say you were real sexy that week. I just want to say that. 

 

0:19:00 – Kayla

Okay, yeah, anyway, not our finest moment. 

 

0:19:06 – Brian

I could have nibbled on your little neck. Stop. Just saying that’s bacon. Not appropriate. Okay. Dogs were chasing her down the street. Stop. 

 

0:19:16 – Kayla

Oh my goodness, we had been married about six months and you knew I really wanted a sit down kitchen table. We did not have one. We had a couple of folding chairs and one of those little card tables and we had saved up some money. We lived in a studio apartment. 

 

0:19:36 – Brian

It was a one bedroom. It was a one bedroom, one bath apartment. It was tiny, and so we went to a furniture store Almost said grocery store, furniture store and we bought a dining room table and I picked one that had eight chairs. Okay, let me just go on the record and say we did not measure the space. That table took up 90% of our living room and dining room, and of those eight, chairs, only two of them could be used. 

 

0:20:03 – Kayla

Yeah. Because that’s how much of the space it took up until we moved into our next home. 

 

0:20:08 – Brian

Yeah so. 

 

0:20:09 – Kayla

So still laugh about that. It was beautiful, but we used two of the eight chairs. 

 

0:20:13 – Brian

You know, when we remodeled our house recently, I thought I had measured the room where we put the shelves of the library and I apparently I mismeasured and I got away with it. We have like a quarter of an inch. 

 

0:20:26 – Kayla

Oh, do we? I was aware of that. The furniture guy told on you. 

 

0:20:30 – Brian

Really, he did? I tipped him really well that day. 

 

0:20:35 – Kayla

He told on you. He said he’s been sweating buckets oh man. I thought yes. So we have a couple of air quotes “parenting stories,” our first attempt at parenting a pet. 

 

0:20:48 – Brian

We got this dog from the family. We went through this rescue and they. 

 

0:20:51 – Kayla

What they were doing is they were re-homing pets that needed to leave their current situation, so we adopted this adorable like four-year-old dog from the family. How long did we make it B?

 

0:21:06 – Brian

One day, we took him back to them the next day. 

 

0:21:09 – Kayla

Because he was so inconsolable and so we called the rescue and they’re like sure you can reach out to the family. They begged to get him back. They had so much regret over their decision to re-home him. The kids were so happy they were so happy to see us coming and we were so relieved because it was the worst night of our lives. He cried and howled all night long. 

 

0:21:35 – Brian

Another bad decision the Sanders made is we adopted a rabbit. 

 

0:21:39 – Kayla

Oh yeah, I don’t recommend this. No, when you live in an apartment. 

 

0:21:45 – Brian

It was not good your dad helped release him into the wild. Yes, so, not our finest moment. No, not our finest moment. So. 

 

0:21:57 – Kayla

Gladly. We waited a good 10 years before we got another pet and then to like set the record straight, we had that one for nearly 15 years, so yeah, this last story. 

 

0:22:07 – Brian

Okay, was this our first or second date? 

 

0:22:12 – Kayla

We were engaged. Oh, we had just gotten engaged. We were going on a date. 

 

0:22:19 – Brian

And you look at me as we’re leaving. I think your parents’ trailer and you said “do you like my skirt?” 

 

0:22:28 – Kayla

And this is the response I get. “I’m not a huge fan. The pattern looks like deck chair material. I’d change if I were you.” There are moments be when women don’t necessarily want complete honesty. This was a moment for you and yes, somehow here we are 30 years later. 

 

0:22:51 – Brian

Our whole life flashed before my eyes in that 30 seconds after I said it. I’m just going to say it we are. But here we are nearly 31 years later. 

 

0:23:00 – Kayla

Yeah, we’re on our 31st year, wow, and you have never, ever, ever criticized anything. I’ve worn since then, if you like it by it baby baby it’s so pretty. 

 

0:23:13 – Brian

Called my skirt, deck, chair material. Well, it was baby. It looked like a beach ball had been wrapped around you. That’s what it looked like it was the style back then? 

 

0:23:24 – Kayla

No, it wasn’t. Anyway, we hope you’ve had a little fun with these Two way. 

 

0:23:28 – Brian

My pink blanket and I didn’t like it Okay, we’re going to go here. 

 

0:23:32 – Kayla

No, we’re not. 

 

0:23:33 – Brian

No, we’re not no no, no, the good people. 

 

0:23:35 – Kayla

We are going to go here. She has got her finger up. I am telling this story. We were, so you asked for this. We were a month from getting married and we, of course, we had had like seven or eight wedding showers and we had been given some beautiful new linens, towels, blankets, all of it. I was at the new apartment putting together all of like the bedroom and everything like that. There was a blanket that you call it pink. It was really more of a light brown. It was so dirty. It used to be pink and the whole middle of the blanket was a hole. There was no middle, so I assumed. 

 

0:24:25 – Brian

I assumed. 

 

0:24:27 – Kayla

No, uh-uh. Either way, what you call light pink was so dirty, it was more of a brown color. 

 

0:24:33 – Brian

So what does Miss Sanders do? 

 

0:24:34 – Kayla

I threw it in the dumpster.

 

0:24:35 – Brian

And was I advised before my blanket? 

 

0:24:38 – Kayla

Fair enough, you weren’t. But nobody is going to say that I should not have gotten rid of the blanket. I could have washed it and patched it. It smelled. 

 

0:24:47 – Brian

It was horrible. Why didn’t I wash sheets? I’ve washed sheets. Maybe once a year I’d go out and buy new ones. 

 

0:24:55 – Kayla

Okay, we need to end this. Okay, that’s the story of the pink blanket. Very sad, and you had a beautiful new blanket to replace it yeah.

 

0:25:04 – Brian

And this bedspread and all these frou frou pillows and everything. 

 

0:25:08 – Kayla

Welcome to married life. 

 

0:25:10 – Brian

Okay, I love it. It’s gorgeous. Just don’t bring that beach ball stuff up into here, listen. Thanks for listening to this week’s episode of the Peas and Carrots Podcast. Hey, so far this past week we had like four winners, so all you got to do is answer a trivia question. 

 

0:25:28 – Kayla

Yes, if you will go to our website, look for the trivia button. Visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com, click that trivia button and answer this question. 

 

0:25:40 – Brian

How do you pursue rest for yourself? Do you wrap yourself in a pink blanket? Really, really. 

 

0:25:49 – Kayla

Just okay Again. Please visit the peasandcarrotspodcast.com website. Click that trivia button. No questions about pink blankets. Just how are you pursuing rest for yourself? You can search the Peas and Carrots Podcast wherever you get your podcasts, or visit our website. Again that is peasandcarrotspodcast.com.

 

0:26:11 – Brian

Thanks for listening and don’t forget to subscribe when you’re there. You can also follow us on Facebook and Instagram. 

 

0:26:19 – Kayla

Just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast. 

 

0:26:22 – Brian

I’m still a little bit bitter about that pink blanket. 

 

0:26:25 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Life’s not perfect. That’s why God gave us friends like Melody and Candi. Check out QuirksBumpsandBruises.com, or search Quirks, Bumps, and Bruises wherever you listen to podcasts. 

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