0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 

0:00:11 – Brian

Welcome to the peas and carrots podcast. Hello. I’m Kayla, I’m Brian. 

0:00:19 – Kayla

Who am I? Where am I? What day is this? 

0:00:22 – Brian

you just had a piece of cake. I did I had some birthdays here. We’ve had some birthdays in the office, so just had a piece of cake. I did. I had some birthdays here. 

0:00:26 – Kayla

We’ve had some birthdays in the office, so yeah, a little piece of cake. 

0:00:30 – Brian

I had fruit. 

0:00:31 – Kayla

I feel judged Well. I’m not saying that, no, I know you’re not. 

0:00:36 – Brian

I was living vicariously through you. 

0:00:38 – Kayla

It was. 

0:00:39 – Brian

It’s a strawberry kind you like. 

0:00:41 – Kayla

It’s like a strawberry shortcake kind of yeah, what kind of strawberry kind do you like? It’s like a strawberry shortcake kind of yeah, wow, it’s good. 

0:00:47 – Brian

Okay, it’s really good. So what’s up in the world of P&C peas and carrots? We are falling off the bone that comes from a meme. 

0:00:56 – Kayla

It’s hot. 

0:00:57 – Brian

Like they put something in the oven and it falls off the bone. Dear Lord, we falling off the bone down here, and the guy says Lord, you can turn down the heat, because we are falling off the bone and it’s been dry. 

0:01:08 – Kayla

So dry. We finally had a storm last night. And it was a storm, our windows rattled. 

0:01:14 – Brian

Yeah, it’s been a while since we’ve had a storm like that. 

0:01:18 – Kayla

It’s so dry that our poor yard guy could not mow this week. So that’s where we are. So I have new glasses, oh, and I have a confession, I’ve had them for a year, but I didn’t like the way they fit, and so I’ve been fussing with them. I watched a tutorial on how to fix your glasses. Did you know that if you stick the like, what do they call them? The arms the arms in water. You bend the, they become pliable, so I was able to you did not. 

0:01:49 – Brian

Yes, I did. So Hang on, Michaela Elizabeth. 

0:01:54 – Kayla

I adjusted my glasses when did you do this the other day? So they’re progressive lenses. What would you have done if you had broken them? Well, I’d have had to go back to the eye doctor, but it’s been a year, so I mean, it’s a whole thing, this whole getting used to a new prescription. 

0:02:11 – Brian

you what is it? 

0:02:11 – Kayla

but I’m like a I’m like a bobbing doll. I keep looking up, looking down. If you know, you know, if you wear a progressive lens, you kind of have to find where to look like a computer screen yeah, but these are a different size frame. 

So, yeah, I’ve been laughing at myself this week because I have to hold my head at a certain angle to see things on the computer screen and then when I look down to read and going upstairs is a whole I gotta take mine off when we’re like looking for something on tv, like when a guide comes up. 

0:02:44 – Brian

I got to take them all. 

0:02:44 – Kayla

And that’s when I need to make sure I have mine on. 

0:02:47 – Brian

So there’s, that. 

0:02:49 – Kayla

You have some big news and you can share it, or I will share it, but if you don’t, I’m going to. You had a doctor’s appointment this week. 

0:02:58 – Brian

Oh, I’m wondering what in the world’s going on? What’s the big news? Yeah, I’ve lost some more weight down 13 more pounds so but it takes a lot longer. 

0:03:10 – Kayla

Your test results are trending very well. Yes. Your doctor was very proud of you. 

0:03:15 – Kayla

He was, and I am. You’ve been working really hard, so yeah. So, between new glasses and good test results, it’s been quite a week. It’s hot Hot Like fried chicken. 

0:03:28 – Brian

Yeah, People said, you know, is it a good time to come visit Blacksburg? What’s it like? Like well, you’ve been cremated. I mean it’s oh, it’s the. 

0:03:41 – Kayla

Gosh. So I was having a conversation with a friend the other night it was actually at our women’s Bible study and she shared something about a learning that she had in her 20s. And I was sitting there mesmerized hearing her talk about some of the things that she had figured out by her mid-20s, and so it kind of had me thinking what would I go back and tell my younger self? What are some things that now not in my twenties? I mean the things that I’ve learned just even in the last four to five years? So we decided we would share some of those. What are the things that you would go back and tell your younger self? 

0:04:27 – Brian

Before we start, let’s get this out of the way. Me and Ms Sanders both have a lot of drainage going on. 

0:04:33 – Kayla

Oh, these allergies are yeah. 

0:04:35 – Brian

So if you hear us hacking and coughing, that’s what’s going on. We’ll try not to First time. The first thing I would say to my younger self is be who you are, not who you think you need to be to be accepted. Because I have felt for years and years and years that I had to be a certain way in order to be accepted. I had to be overly generous to get people to like me. 

0:05:03 – Kayla

Yeah. 

0:05:03 – Brian

That I have to be humorous so that people wouldn’t look at my weight, or that the fact that I stutter you would do things to deflect yeah. Yes, so just embrace who you are, and not everybody in the world is going to like you. And I’m a pretty great guy, yeah, you are so one of mine is your awkwardness. 

0:05:25 – Kayla

Okay, it makes you relatable. So One of mine is your awkwardness, kay, it makes you relatable, you’re not awkward. 

0:05:27 – Brian

Honey. 

0:05:28 – Kayla

I am so socially awkward I am. We were at Disney the other day and the lady said I hope you enjoy the rest of your day in the park. And I looked at her and I said you too. She’s working at a restaurant, she’s not going anywhere. And then I realized, oh, I shouldn’t have said that. So I am so awkward, but it puts other people at ease that I’m not well it makes them feel better about themselves well, there’s that and they’re welcome I just I struggle with small talk because I’m an introvert and so small talk is painful for me. 

It’s just like so that’s when I become really awkward. I just want to be like so, do you have a dog? What’s your dog’s name? Yeah, I’m just being honest. So yeah, what’s another one you would share? 

0:06:24 – Brian

It’s easier to lose weight when you’re younger, but don’t stop trying when you’re older. I mean, if I could go back. A big regret I have is not starting this health journey when I was like 30, 35. It’s hard, it’s hard, but I wish I would have done it then. Yeah, establish some habits back then, because now I’m like playing catch up and this stuff likes to hang on. 

0:06:51 – Kayla

So that’s too funny because you didn’t know my list and I didn’t know yours. And this is my next one. Don’t quit because something gets hard. Pivot and keep going. I wish I had not stopped exercising when running got hard. I used to love to run the first 10 years of our marriage. You used to love yeah she’d run and I loved it. It was very relaxing for me the first time she got dressed to go run. 

0:07:17 – Brian

I’m like who is chasing us? 

0:07:21 – Kayla

I don’t understand that, but then I started having knee issues and it started being harder. It took more, and so I quit. I just quit totally. I should have stepped up in another area. I wish I had not just stopped everything, and so that’s the lesson to me is if something becomes more challenging, don’t quit. Figure out maybe a new way to do that. 

0:07:49 – Brian

For me. There’s stuff in my past and I need if I could go back and tell myself this that it’s not your fault, what happened to you isn’t your fault, and release myself of false guilt. I’m doing better with that and I’m not going to go into all the issues, but it isn’t my fault. Other people made decisions and did things. 

0:08:14 – Kayla

You were the benefit of someone else’s bad decisions. 

0:08:16 – Brian

Yes, and so that’s all I want to say about that. 

0:08:22 – Kayla

I understand. This one has been a big realization for me, and I have just come to this y’all in the last three months. You don’t stink at friendship. There are some friends who are lifelong and there are some that are just for a season, and what I’m learning to tell myself in those moments when I label myself a failure because a friendship hasn’t lasted or it’s changed, is lean into the friendships that I do have and cherish them while they are a part of my life and stop accusing myself of stinking I think I even said that in a previous podcast is that I really stink at friendship and what God has revealed to me is I don’t like the uncomfortable of change. 

And so when a friendship changes, I assume that I must have done something wrong. Well, that’s not necessarily true. It could be that the two of us have just grown in different directions, or it could be that we’re in different stages of our life. 

0:09:28 – Brian

I think that they just can’t handle your like awesomeness. 

0:09:32 – Kayla

Oh, wow, well, OK, but no, just be OK with not. Every friendship is going to be with you from the start of your life to the finish of your life, and that doesn’t necessarily now. That is not a free card to be a jerk. And if if I have done something that has hurt someone, then I do need to make amends, that’s, I’m not giving myself a pass on situations where I have had to go to someone and say I’m sorry, I hurt you. This is where there’s just that natural progression. We’ve all been there where you call each other less, or you see each other less, or you just kind of have different hobbies and interests, and so I sit with this just false assumption that I failed and I should have done something to make it last. 

0:10:22 – Brian

For me, loving books doesn’t make me weird. 

0:10:26 – Kayla

No, it doesn’t. 

0:10:27 – Brian

Own your passion. I never had a passion to play football, never had a passion to play baseball. Golf Never had a passion to play baseball. Golf loved, but I never went out for the team. But I always felt outside, looking in, because my passion was learning, my passion was reading, my passion was, oh, tell me more about that. That was my passion, and so I always felt weird because I’d fishing with Dad and I love those memories but I don’t go fishing today. I did it because of dad. 

0:11:06 – Kayla

Yeah. 

0:11:07 – Brian

You know I’d like to go to like a coffee bar where everybody’s reading the book. And that’s OK, that’s, and so you’re finding that to be acceptable, acceptable and to be OK with it. Yeah. 

0:11:19 – Kayla

Another one for me. Being true to who God made you is a superpower. Stay in your lane, chase the dreams that he has placed in your heart. That’s been a big one for me. It is OK, and y’all, I can’t say this enough the older I get, the less I want you just get to the point where you realize you have the things that matter. I’m not acquiring anymore. You and I talked about this the other night. We’re not in a phase of collecting, not things anyway. We are collecting memories and moments, and so you get to a point where you start to realize what has value to you, what doesn’t. 

It’s okay for me to embrace the qualities of God that set me apart and that make me add value. 

I’m not meant to be a carbon copy of someone else, and don’t apologize for showing up. There were seasons in my life where, because I could tell it was making someone else uncomfortable, I shrank back, and in the last two or three years, I have been able to show up and accept that these are the qualities God gave me. There was a time, you remember this, B, someone accused me of being too in the details. That quote I was a perfectionist and I was driving everyone crazy because I asked questions and I was handling details and details didn’t matter. What that person was communicating to me was I wasn’t them, and what I came to realize after a season was I’m not meant to be them, because it doesn’t work if we all just see the big picture. Some of us have to see the details so we can help the people who see the big picture. And once I started to embrace the fact that perfectionism, placed rightly is okay, I could thrive. So that one’s been a big one for me, chase, after who God made you to be. 

0:13:31 – Brian

That’s a cool quote and something you said I just want to build on. A full life isn’t a house full of things. 

0:13:37 – Kayla

No. 

0:13:38 – Brian

A full house is a life full of memories. 

0:13:42 – Kayla

Yeah, and we’ve worked really hard in that. You and I, we both have hobbies. Again, we have books, y’all. We have lots of books. And we have other things. I love shoes, not gonna lie, and y’all know I love pretty little sweaters. I love shoes, not gonna lie, and y’all know I love pretty little sweaters. But there comes a point where you realize that you get to capacity. I mean, you just do, you don’t need or want any more of those things. Maybe books is the exception, but we’ve just decided that we want to look back and say these are the things we did not these are the things we stored. 

0:14:22 – Brian

For me, Jesus doesn’t give up on me. Here’s what that means. He was with me when I was stupid. I used to be so unkind and I used to be very black and white on things. And as the older I get and the more I learn about him, there’s a lot more gray area and people say well, you know, the Bible says that. No, your interpretation of the Bible says that. The Bible actually says this. 

0:14:48 – Kayla

Yeah. 

0:14:49 – Brian

Now that’s authoritative. Now, your opinion about that is not, and that’s a lesson I had to learn. 

0:14:57 – Kayla

So the final one for me is one that I actually did learn in my 20s, and I have carried it with me for 30 some odd years. I will never regret the trips I take. I will never regret the memories that I’ve made, the things that I have said no to, so that I can be the best wife that you need. It’s you first, always, and so my encouragement to people is do not apologize for making your people a priority, because that’s who God gave you. 

0:15:33 – Brian

Well, I’m a little bit moved in an emotional way. 

0:15:37 – Kayla

Okay. 

0:15:40 – Brian

This next segment is about books. We’re reading, but there’s something about Disney that we didn’t bring up last week. I want to hit real quick, then we’ll go to the books. Okay, we stayed on property at a very nice resort. We did Dear Disney. Would you please install proper height toilets? Our toilet was for elementary school children, Am I right? I was not that short Baby. It was six inches off the floor. I almost popped a knee. 

0:16:12 – Kayla

It wasn’t that bad. 

0:16:13 – Brian

And then we come home and we got king-size toilets and I’m getting leg cramps because I’m used to having to squat what’s wrong. You haven’t been through that. Oh my gosh, what I did not expect to hear this today. You don’t think that toilet at Disney was? 

0:16:26 – Kayla

I did not expect to hear this today. You don’t think that toilet at Disney was old? 

0:16:29 – Brian

Well, I mean, it was a little low to the ground, but I mean, I almost had to have you come in here and pick me up a few times. 

0:16:35 – Kayla

You have a commercial grade toilet at home so you’re a little bit spoiled, but it was friends, it was a normal toilet. I will say it was not a kindergarten classroom. And again, if you know, you know that was not a normal sized toilet. 

0:16:49 – Brian

Yes, it was yeah for a fifth grader. Do you feel better now?

0:16:52 – Kayla

Yes, Okay, they’re not going to change. 

I hate to tell you. So what are we reading? Well, this will just be like a quick hit. Someone asked me the other day. They said you haven’t told us lately what you’re reading, and I miss that. So one of the books I’m reading is a book by Lysa TerKeurst. It’s good boundaries and goodbyes. Loving others without losing the best of who you are and y’all you’ve heard me talk about this before. Boundaries are a big deal to me because I carried a lot of false narratives for a long time about who I was supposed to be to please other people, and usually the people without boundaries are people pleasers. So this has been a fantastic read so far. 

0:17:49 – Brian

Character Matters and Other Life Lessons from George HW Bush by his chief of staff after he left the presidency, named Gene Becker. The book is fantastic. You read me a few excerpts from this, and it’s full of stories about the 41st president. Yeah, y’all get that book. You will laugh, you will cry. It is fantastic. 

0:18:09 – Kayla

Another book I’m reading is it’s an actual Bible study book. Our women’s group is going through it on Tuesdays. It’s, I believe it’s, 10 chapters. Each chapter is standalone. So if you have a women’s group that is looking for a book that you could do with your group. It’s called Identity Theft Reclaiming the Truth of Our Identity in Christ, and it has been a real refresher to me of things that the false narratives that we tend to tell ourselves when our actual identity is in him. This past week we talked about how we don’t think we are enough in Christ that we feel like it’s this plus this equals. And this has been a great book, just a good reminder to all of us of whose we are. 

0:19:01 – Brian

I’m reading Eric Larson’s latest release called the Demon of Unrest, and it’s the story of Fort Sumter during the Civil War and that’s how the Civil War started, is that? And it has Lincoln in it. It’s a true story and it’s about the whole start of the Civil War and they call that particular area in this particular conflict. You know, that’s the whole demon of. 

0:19:27 – Kayla

Uncast. Oh, okay, that’s what that means. So I have to give a shout out to my Joy FM friends and they have me hooked on a series and, yes, it’s a thriller. 

0:19:39 – Brian

Now let me just say this about these Joy FM friends you got to keep a good eye on them. Okay, Stop. 

0:19:46 – Kayla

I love them, but you got to keep a good eye on them. But I’m reading a book by Frida McFadden called the House Maid. What’s her name? Frida McFadden. 

0:19:51 – Brian

I guarantee you that’s got to be a ghost name. It’s a ghost.

0:19:53 – Kayla

No, she actually writes it oh she writes it. 

0:19:56 – Brian

It’s a stage name. 

0:19:57 – Kayla

Yes, but it’s about a maid who moves into her house, and I won’t say any more than that. I’m not saying anything, I don’t want to give anything away, but thank you, to my joy from friends, they’ve gifted me my latest murder mystery. 

0:20:16 – Brian

We Christian people read a lot about death. I’m just going to tell you how do you die? Well, read the book. The last book I’m reading is John Maxwell’s High Road Leadership. It’s about always taking the higher road to be the better person to treat people right Cool. And it’s very challenging but also very inspiring. 

0:20:40 – Kayla

Yeah, and the last one I’m reading for now is by Will Gadara. It’s Unreasonable Hospitality. I love this book, and it may end up being my book of the year. 

0:20:52 – Brian

It’s pretty good. 

0:20:53 – Kayla

It’s an incredible read, but if you work in any kind of customer experience, you need to read this book. 

0:21:02 – Brian

I agree, hey, we got a peas and carrots coffee mug here. We have some notepads. We have some book. I agree, hey, we got a Peas and Carrots coffee mug here. 

0:21:07 – Kayla

We have some notepads. 

0:21:08 – Brian

We have some stickers, some pens. 

0:21:11 – Kayla

And you could win all that? Yes, you could, by answering a question. That question is. What are you reading? 

0:21:18 – Brian

Okay, to do that, you go to our website peasandcarrotspodcast.com. When you get there, you click on. 

0:21:26 – Kayla

Look for the trivia button. Click the trivia button again. Go to peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Click that button. Answer the question. We want to know what are you reading? And y’all we’re going to assume you’re reading the Bible, because we are too, but we want to know something else that you’re reading. So we get it. You love Jesus. We do as well, but share with us something we should read. 

0:21:52 – Brian

So go to the peasandcarrotspodcast.com and just click the trivia button and tell us what are you reading. Hey, thanks for listening to this week’s edition of the peas and carrots podcast. 

0:22:01 – Kayla

You can search peas and carrots podcast wherever you get your podcasts, or again visit our website peasandcarrotspodcast.com. And when you do, please don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast. 

0:22:12 – Brian

You can also follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast. One final note I’m waiting on that little survey to come from Disney about what we loved and didn’t like. 

0:22:22 – Kayla

They closed the survey. 

0:22:23 – Brian

I did not get to tell them about the toilet. Nope, what we loved and didn’t like. They closed the survey. I did not get to tell them about the toilet. Nope, I am calling that hotel.

0:22:33 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Life’s not perfect. That’s why God gave us friends like Melody and Candi. Check out QuirksBumpsandBruises.com, or search Quirks, Bumps, and Bruises wherever you listen to podcasts.

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 

0:00:11 – Kayla

Welcome to the peas and carrots podcast. 

0:00:13 – Brian

I’m Brian and I’m Kayla and we both have severe sinus drainage. 

0:00:18 – Kayla

Yeah, nothing like coming back to Virginia after two weeks in Florida. 

0:00:23 – Brian

So and of course, I’m allergy bubble boy, I’m allergic to everything you are so yeah, here we are. So what’s up in the world of Peas and Carrots? 

0:00:33 – Kayla

Disney was amazing and hot. 

0:00:37 – Brian

We went and, as of this recording, we’ve been back from Disney three or four days and we already miss it. 

0:00:45 – Kayla

We do I will say this we had a lot of concerned people and we love you for that. We did not have a lot of rain in our area. Now South Florida got hammered. 

0:00:57 – Brian

Now I’ll say this we had a couple of rain showers, we had a lot of hot. It was hot. It was hot, I mean ridiculous. 

0:01:05 – Kayla

We learned why we like to go in March and December. 

0:01:08 – Brian

Yeah, so it was um, but they had some kind of a tropical trough. It wasn’t a system. Yeah, just camp over south Florida like around Miami yeah, for days and it just uh flooded them. 

0:01:22 – Kayla

So I mean we had a couple of typical afternoon thunderstorms, but it was amazing, so yeah, so over the course of those days, Miss Kayla, how far did we walk? We stopped counting at 50 miles. We just said we’re not counting anymore. 

0:01:41 – Brian

And here’s the crazy thing we walked 50 miles and I gained five pounds. That’s not what I was going for Did you really? 

0:01:50 – Kayla

I did Well B. I had dessert with every meal and ice cream and cookies and more ice cream. 

0:01:57 – Brian

I didn’t see you have a cookie. 

0:02:00 – Kayla

Well, it doesn’t mean I didn’t have it. Oh, we did have those Oreos in the room, didn’t we? 

0:02:03 – Brian

Well, it doesn’t mean I didn’t have it. Oh, we did have those. 

0:02:04 – Kayla

Oreos in the room, didn’t we? I had all kinds of things, and I’m here for it. I’m not ashamed, I will say this. I’ve already got back down to like just two pounds, so we’re good, I’m getting back. 

0:02:17 – Brian

I don’t know how that happened. Okay. Well eating salads doesn’t hurt, let me say this we walked 50 miles. We flew home on a Tuesday. Wednesday was a rest day. We went to the gym Thursday morning. 

0:02:31 – Kayla

Yes. 

0:02:32 – Brian

It almost killed us. After two weeks away yes, and I talked to the young lady there who was the trainer that day and I told her she says your body is still recovering from walking 50 miles. 

0:02:43 – Kayla

Yeah, because. 

0:02:44 – Brian

I was literally doing this exercise where I was taking a plate putting over. When I say a plate, it’s like a 10 pound weight and you pick it up, put it over your head, deck down. You do that 30 times. I almost cried. It hurt that bad. I mean, it was ridiculous. 

0:03:00 – Kayla

But it was well worth it, and we do. We have lots of stories to share. We will was well worth it, and we do. We have lots of stories to share. We will save those for just a few minutes. Um, a teaser. We will go ahead and share one b. You had kind of an awkward experience in the bathroom well, that’s awkward to phrase it like that. 

0:03:20 – Brian

Uh, so you’re about to learn more about me than you ever bargained for. So I wear suspenders underneath my shirts. Keeps your pants up. So it keeps my pants up. I don’t want to tuck my shirts in and wear suspenders on the outside. I don’t think it looks good, so I wear them under my shirts to where they’re hidden. So that means that when I have to go to potty and sit down, I have to take your shorts off, I have to take my spenders off to get that off. 

Well, I’m sitting in a bathroom in like Hollywood Studios, at Disney World, and of course my suspenders are like on the floor, like because I’m just laying them out. And this dad and this kid come into the stall next to me. I could hear him talking and all of a sudden I guess this kid was probably four, five, six I see this little hand come underneath the little wall there in the stall and grabs my suspenders and starts pulling on. Well, I am just flipping out. So I reach down on the other end of my suspenders. I’m pulling them back. Well, I guess it turns into its own. Well, stupid me, I’m 56 and work out the gym, so I’m pretty strong here. I’ve got this six year old toddler and I pull it and all of a sudden his whole arms. 

0:04:42 – Kayla

Okay, for all the littles, a six-year-old is not a toddler. I just need to clarify that. Toddlers are two. 

0:04:52 – Brian

So, for all the six-year-olds, I’ve got you. Oh, for all the six-year-old listeners, we didn’t mean to offend you, okay. So anyway, I pull it back. Well, there’s this whole arm in my stall now. So now I’m wigging like I don’t need to pull this kid in my under the bathroom. 

And so now the dad is involved, he’s like, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go. I mean he’s getting really poor, dad, oh. And so finally, you know, this kid lets go, and I get my suspenders and I tuck them in to where nobody else can get a hold of him, hopefully. And then I hear that dad and that kid leave and he’s like get your little tail out of here. Right now I’ll kill you. 

0:05:30 – Kayla

So I was, that was, I was so nervous, like I did and I was, because you were gone for a really long time and I’m like, okay, this is not normal, so there you go again. What did I say before we left? You are a magnet for crazy. And here we are. Thank you, don invite it, it found you. 

0:05:55 – Brian

Looking at the calendar, how far are we into the year? 

0:05:58 – Kayla

This is crazy. We are nearly halfway through 2024. That’s unbelievable Flying yeah. 

0:06:07 – Brian

Just flying. 

0:06:08 – Kayla

What lessons are we carrying into the second half of the year? 

0:06:13 – Brian

Well, I’ll start this off and say this I’m going to own who I am. I’m going to own that I’m healing. I’ve had multiple, multiple people come up to me, friends, and say B you are healing. Yeah, said, you are a healthier version of yourself. So I don’t want to stop working on me. I want to keep working on me. I want to continue to be, but it doesn’t mean I’ll ever be perfect, and I have this tremendous pressure on myself to be perfect and not drive people up a wall. But I’ve got to give myself space. 

0:06:46 – Kayla

Which is a segue into. One of the things that I’m really learning this year is progress over perfection. I’m realizing that I can be bad at things, and it’s OK, because I’m trying and I’m also realizing I may not be where I want to be. There are some very specific goals I set for myself this year and I’m not there yet. But I’m doing the work, and very few, if any, successes happen overnight. It’s always a work in progress. 

0:07:21 – Brian

And I’ll build on that by saying that for me, there’s still work to be done. In other words, there’s weight that needs to be lost by me. I think I gained a couple of pounds at Disney I don’t know how. I did not eat a lot of desserts. 

0:07:37 – Kayla

I’d say it’s fluid retention. It was 100 degrees. 

0:07:43 – Brian

I wish I could pee off 100 pounds in. Okay, there’s habits I need to break. I don’t need to assume that every time somebody’s in a bad mood it’s about me and quit asking people so much, are you okay? I don’t know if that drives people up a wall, but there’s just things. There’s still work to be done. I’m nervous of ever thinking that I’ve arrived, so I need to just own that. 

0:08:08 – Kayla

This one’s hard to admit, but I’m going to because hopefully it will help someone else. I am not responsible for how other people act and I need to unpack that. I am accountable for how I act and react towards others. And here’s the truth, mom. Sometimes perfectionism masks itself in criticisms. I read that a few weeks back and I have been sitting with that truth, so I’m going to say that again. Sometimes perfectionism masks itself in criticisms. I internalize that other people’s behavior could be my responsibility or it reflects poorly on me, and that’s the part that I’m working on. The critic comes out when their actions don’t align with what I feel is best, and I’m working really hard to let other people be other people and that I don’t have to own it and I don’t have to explain it. I can just be who I am. 

0:09:18 – Brian

And for you that’s a big deal. 

0:09:20 – Kayla

Oh yeah, because I always fear that people are judging me for someone else’s behavior. 

0:09:27 – Brian

See, we’re kind of opposites in that. 

0:09:30 – Kayla

Yeah. 

0:09:30 – Brian

But I’m proud of you for seeing that though. 

0:09:33 – Kayla

Again, it’s a work in progress, but I’m finding myself being a whole lot less critical because I realize my criticism is tied to my own perception. 

0:09:45 – Brian

For me, it’s okay to be different, and sometimes I will withdraw from a group. 

0:09:51 – Kayla

And this is part of your healing, and I am so here for it. 

0:09:57 – Brian

I like to read, I like Star Wars, I like Disney. I don’t like working on cars. I don’t like going to certain sporting events. 

0:10:09 – Kayla

Yeah, and it’s okay. 

0:10:10 – Brian

And that’s okay. It doesn’t make me less of a person. It doesn’t make me less of a man. Yeah, it just says that I enjoy these things more. But I will retreat in certain groups because I feel like I’m less than that. I’m not part of that because I don’t enjoy NASCAR. I don’t get it. You’re just going in a circle over and over again. I don’t understand it. And so when I get in certain groups of people, I will usually just withdraw and go the corner because I feel different. But I need to accept that. It’s okay if these people like one thing and I like something else. Now I may need to go find some people to talk to, but there you go. 

0:11:00 – Kayla

A big goal of mine this year has been be someone who leaves people better than I found them, I think. For some reason, this year more than any other, I have seen that there are so many people who are carrying some really heavy stuff I mean hard things and they may choose to keep that private. So as we encounter people in our day-to-day, maybe they hit us wrong with their attitude or the way they’re carrying themselves. We may not know what they are carrying. And the reminder for me in a thousand ways this year has been it takes so little effort to be genuinely kind and grateful and present and patient with other people, because really isn’t that what I want? 

0:11:57 – Brian

For me, another big goal is to pursue Jesus faithfully and to know him and not just know about him. What I’m learning it’s taken me years to learn this and I still got a long way to go is not to pursue a feeling. We think sometimes that when we chase after Jesus, it’s going to produce a certain feeling, and it doesn’t when you follow after him. 

0:12:24 – Kayla

Yeah. 

0:12:25 – Brian

You’re not pursuing a feeling, you’re pursuing a relationship with him, and so every day I will do some devos and I will pray, and I’m OK if there’s not a certain feeling, because I have to remember the truth that he’s still God, even if I don’t feel him, that he’s still faithful in reading and praying, meditating and just trying to live out. 

0:13:06 – Kayla

Well, what was that? There was a quote I read one time even the teacher is silent during the test. 

0:13:13 – Brian

Well, I ain’t ready for a test, so let’s not invite that. But yes, so that’s who he is. I like that. Yes, so that’s who he is. 

0:13:20 – Kayla

Speaking of silence, I’ve grown very comfortable with silence, and that’s odd as I’m sitting here doing a podcast. But what I mean by that is not everyone has a right to know all things about your life things about your life. We owe ourselves the right to keep certain aspects of our lives private and not feel the need to explain everything to others. Here’s another truth bomb. 

Some part of me feels like I’m being rude or unkind if I don’t present myself as an open book. And yet there are those who need to know details, and they probably shouldn’t, because you have to decide for yourself who your circle is, who your safe people are, and then everyone else just gets to be on the fringe. And that doesn’t mean you don’t care about them, but what it does mean is you care about protecting yourself, mean, is you care about protecting yourself? And there has been this comfortable silence within me this year that there are some things in our lives even that have transpired in the last 12 to 15 months. I’m not going to defend us, I’m not going to explain it. I’m okay with those who know no, and those who don’t won’t, and so it’s just. It’s part of my growth journey. We have a bonus one. 

0:14:48 – Brian

Okay. 

0:14:48 – Kayla

This one we have both been reminded of in the last six months. 

0:14:55 – Brian

I think grief is a marathon. Yeah, it’s not a sprint. Yeah, yeah, grief is a journey. It’s a long journey that you’re on and it will reveal itself at various times. I remember we were at Disney World during Father’s Day and there were moments I just wanted to cry because you see, you look around, you see all these dads walking around with their kids and I’m like, you know, I wish dad was here, I could call him or something, that kind of stuff. And then sometimes you grieve what you don’t have and we’re not going to get into that, but like because we were never able to have children, I was grieving watching that. 

0:15:36 – Kayla

And so. And yet that afternoon God gave us the sweetest moment. 

0:15:42 – Brian

Oh, that little girl. 

0:15:44 – Kayla

There was a little girl. We were in the Frozen Ever After sing-along and watching her when Elsa came on stage. She was, it was magic it was absolute magic seeing the look on her face and the way she we both cried. 

We did cry because it was just, it was literally seeing Disney through the eyes of a child and I know God gave us that on Father’s Day. It was not lost on me and it was absolutely beautiful. But yeah, grief is. It’s not linear. It has its ups and downs. It has its days where it will just absolutely blindside you and yet what we are learning is to be kind to ourselves and to others on those days when we realize that we’re dealing with grief. 

0:16:30 – Brian

Yeah, I don’t think you ever get over grief. I just think that you build a new life around it. You do. 

0:16:35 – Kayla

That’s what happens. 

0:16:36 – Brian

Yeah. 

0:16:37 – Kayla

So yeah. 

0:16:37 – Brian

Those are the things that we’re trying to continue to learn halfway through the year. 

0:16:42 – Kayla

Yeah, so let’s talk about Florida. It was hot, we’ve said that already. 

0:16:51 – Brian

Okay. 

0:16:51 – Kayla

But there are some questions that we get from time to time. Why do we continue to go to Disney when we could go see the world? We could spoiler. We were going to Italy this summer and then we saw the events that were taking place in the world. We thought about the time of year that we were looking to travel and we both agreed unanimously let’s just go back to Disney. Why Disney? Well, for us it’s the ease of travel. 

0:17:21 – Brian

We get to hop on a plane when you get to the Orlando airport. There’s a bus that takes you from the airport right to the doors of your resort. It’s all inclusive. There are restaurants everywhere, there are attractions, there are shows, there are rides, there are various foods. You can experience various. 

0:17:41 – Kayla

We can take a, we can take a boat or we can walk to two of our resorts. There’s just, I mean there’s, or parks, I should say. 

0:17:50 – Brian

People say don’t you get tired of experiencing the same thing over and over again? No, because there’s always something a little bit different that’s happening there. Yeah, and you get to see the magic. You get to see everything there. So why do we love Disney? Well, first of all, you love which park. 

0:18:07 – Kayla

I love Epcot. 

0:18:08 – Brian

Yes. 

0:18:09 – Kayla

It has rides, it has World Showcase. It’s walking distance from our resort you love. 

0:18:16 – Brian

Hollywood Studios. 

0:18:18 – Kayla

Because it’s all things star wars yes, and actually we have.

0:18:23 – Brian

There’s like a little boat you can catch from our resort. Yeah, that’ll take us right to the gate we’re there in 10 minutes. Yeah, yeah and it’s crazy. So unpopular opinion we don’t love magic kingdom and we also don’t really. 

0:18:38 – Kayla

We love Animal Kingdom in the fall when it’s not as hot, but we actually skipped Animal Kingdom this time because it was just too hot. 

0:18:47 – Brian

Too hot and also you will walk more at Animal Kingdom than any other park. Yeah, there’s basically two things that we enjoy to do at Animal Kingdom. That’s the safari. And there’s a little show the Lion King show that we go to. Those are basically the two things that we enjoy to do at Animal Kingdom. That’s the safari and there’s a little show the Lion King show that we go to. Those are basically the two things. 

0:19:02 – Kayla

And we do like going through the like. There’s the whole area where the monkeys and all that are, but yeah, and I enjoy that. 

0:19:12 – Brian

Admittedly, you can hear me cough in the background. I’m actually cutting down the microphone, so just realize. So everybody listening. A little side note there, just a little side note I am cutting down the microphone, but we do have drainage. 

0:19:22 – Kayla

So, admittedly, we will resume March and Thanksgiving or Christmas trips because summers in Florida are a thing we learned. Summer is the off season. That was an enlightening because it’s so hot and because it’s outside of the window of like Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas. And it’s humid, so if you’re looking to deal with less crowds and the heat does not phase you, then go in the summer. 

0:19:52 – Brian

Because we were able to flex so much, so much stuff. 

0:19:55 – Kayla

I mean, there were days we decided, okay, we want to change to this restaurant or we want to hop on this ride, and we were able to do that. We won’t be able to do that at Christmas, and we know that, and that’s okay, we’ll just. You either have to plan and work your plan or, if you go in the summer, you can definitely be a little more flexible. 

0:20:24 – Brian

We also have one of my very best friends lives down there. His name is Stan. 

0:20:27 – Kayla

We do and we spent five days with him for five days, and got to see Stan Jose and Eric and spend some time and that was fun you love also. 

I just love all things Florida the palm trees, the water, the people because in each park there are people from different countries and so you’re getting to visit with these people and you get to hear their story. I mean, we got to talk with several cast members this time and ask them what are you enjoying about America and what are you looking forward to? And what’s funny is half of them were looking forward to going to Vegas. But here we are, so it was very strange. 

It’s like it’s one of them told us it’s the go-to place for Florida right now. 

0:21:07 – Brian

So it must be a cheap flight. 

0:21:09 – Kayla

I guess. So there were a couple of things that I mean. Yes, it was amazing. We will share a couple of more epic moments and then we’ll just share some hard truths. There was a day that was very, very sweet for me and I have been married to you for nearly 31 years and Stan has been a dear friend of ours for 31 years. I did not know you were terrified of heights, both of you and there’s a ride called Soarin’ where you are literally strapped in with basically like a car seat belt. 

0:21:44 – Brian

And it raises you up off the ground. 

0:21:46 – Kayla

You go off the ground, you’re dangling by your feet. 

0:21:48 – Brian

See, now, that’s what bothers me. 

0:21:50 – Kayla

And then you’re in this immersive experience where you’re kind of dipping and swaying. 

0:21:54 – Brian

And it takes you up over the Eiffel Tower. You go over the Eiffel Tower. 

0:21:56 – Kayla

You come down into this pasture where there’s like a stampede coming at you, but you smell the grass, you smell the dirt, you go over the Taj Mahal and you smell like flowers. 

0:22:09 – Brian

I will do anything for my bride. 

0:22:11 – Kayla

Both of you did the entire ride with your eyes closed. 

0:22:16 – Brian

Yes, and I was gripping so hard. When I came off, I actually had bruises in my hand. 

0:22:20 – Kayla

You did, and then you noticed and I felt terrible and you noticed that I was walking. You were both shaking. 

0:22:26 – Brian

Yeah. 

0:22:26 – Kayla

And I just could not get over. I looked at both of you and said why did you do this? And your response was because you like it. That’s exactly right, and it really touched me, but we did not do it again. So, there was an evening you had booked something special for me it was our last evening of vacation. 

0:22:46 – Brian

Dinner at Epcot at a British restaurant called the Rose and Crown. Yeah, it’s the dinner and fireworks package, and we are so close to the fireworks, the ash was coming back on our table fell down on us but you smiled like a little girl for an hour and a half. 

0:23:05 – Kayla

You loved everything about it I did yeah, because it’s at a pub, just yeah you’re outside and it’s wonderful so the rooms at Disney. We have a pro tip for you when you are still your air conditioning, or if you’re in the winter, your heat will turn off because it’s motion centered. Yes, the thermostat so what is the trick that someone taught you? Buy a balloon and tape it, just sit it in front of your. 

0:23:35 – Brian

Yeah, tape it to the wall and put it in front of your. Yeah, tape it to the wall and put it in front of the of the motion sensor so that that balloon will move during the night. Yeah, and it will keep the air conditioner running. And so we didn’t know that, and or I forgot about it and I woke up two or three times a couple of times yeah, it’s ridiculous you have one main complaint against Disney. 

As much as you pay, as much as you pay Y’all could do a little bit better than this. 

0:24:10 – Kayla

One ply see-through toilet paper y’all got going on at Disney. 

0:24:11 – Brian

They are kind of lacking in that department it is John Wayne. You don’t take crap off nobody. Okay, it is. I didn’t expect to hear that. I mean you need a expect to hear that. I mean you need a powder puff after about day four. 

0:24:23 – Kayla

Okay, Lord forgive me. We were in line waiting for a ride and there was a family in front of us, and there was a family in front of them. Well, the family in front of them. 

She felt the need to insert her opinion unwarranted to the family behind her and telling her well, you must do this and you must do that and book this book that plan your day like this. Listen, you must do that and book this book that plan your day like this. And there was a moment where she finally turned around facing her own family again and the family looked back at us like help and I whispered it’s your trip. 

0:25:02 – Brian

Do whatever you want to do. Do whatever you want to do. 

0:25:05 – Kayla

Nobody else gets to decide for you what your vacation should look like, and you and I both the ease with which we travel together. I just love it. Because I’ll say this if you want to grasp your own selfishness, go into any vacation or trip with your own itinerary that is so like locked down and fixed, and refuse to flex for anyone else. 

0:25:34 – Brian

It’ll get blown up. 

0:25:35 – Kayla

It will absolutely ruin your trip. Yeah and so. Yeah, those are just our takeaways. We cannot wait for our next trip at the end of the year. We’re kind of grieving being home, but it’s OK. We have a lot of life to live between now and December. Would you like to admit what you did this morning. You actually what? 

0:25:57 – Brian

Well checked on flight so we could fly down there over July 4th. We got a few days off and I said no because it’s hot. 

0:26:04 – Kayla

I reminded you of how hot it is. We’ll be back in December. Very sad, reminded you of how hot it is. So, yeah, we’ll be back in December. Okay, but very sad. So we have a question for you. Um, for the first few people that go to our website and answer this question correctly, there’s a whole slew of stuff coming your way you’re gonna win some stickers, a notepad, a peas and carrots pen and a peas and carrots mug. 

0:26:26 – Brian

so you get peas and carrots stickers, peas and carrots pen and a peas and carrots mug. So you get peas and carrots stickers, peas and carrots notepad, a pen and a peas and carrots mug Y’all I thought the stickers were cute. 

0:26:35 – Kayla

The notepad has become my bestie. It’s a what do you call it? Peel and stick sheet, Post-it note, Post-it note pad, and it’s got like you can well, you know what I’m talking about Peel and stick, Well you know what I’m talking about. Peel and stick. 

0:26:49 – Brian

Listen, I’m a little, my brain’s still hot, so anyway, you can win all that stuff when you answer this question. 

0:26:55 – Kayla

What is one travel tip that you would share? Okay, so how do you win that? Go to our website. Go ahead, click the trivia button and what’s our website? 

0:27:08 – Brian

Peasandcarrotspodcast.com. That’s peasandcarrotspodcast.com. When you get there, you just click that little trivia button and answer this question. 

0:27:17 – Kayla

What is one travel tip you would? 

0:27:20 – Brian

share. Hey, thanks for listening to this week’s edition of the Peas and Carrots Podcast and hey, you can search the Peas and Carrots Podcast wherever you get your podcast or you visit our website. 

0:27:30 – Kayla

Peasandcarrotspodcast.com. When you do, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast. 

0:27:35 – Brian

Also, if you could follow us on Facebook and Instagram and you could help us tell a few friends, we’d appreciate that. All you got to do is just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast. I want to go back to Disney.

0:27:44 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Growing through the challenges we face and finding hope along the way. That’s the Jesus Fix It Podcast with Jess. Check out jesusfixit.com or search Jesus Fix It wherever you listen to podcasts.