Season 3, Episode 26: When Silence Is Deafening

Can We Talk?
When Silence is Deafening - Episode Description

Join us for a whirlwind week as we share the highs and lows of returning home from an uplifting summer camp with our PAR family. From the unexpected demise of our AC unit and a stuck doorbell causing an electrical scare to a malfunctioning water heater and an ant invasion in our kitchen, it seemed like everything that could go wrong did. Despite the chaos, we reflect on the incredible experience of summer camp and the importance of community and support during trying times.

Then we explore the struggle of feeling, or not, God’s presence. We discuss the importance of reading scripture, praying, and recognizing daily mercies as evidence of God’s ongoing work, even when His presence isn’t felt. Reflecting on past experiences where God has been present fuels our current faith, even during difficult and confusing times, and we highlight the significance of accepting God’s sovereignty and trusting His decisions.

Lastly, we take you through our fun and eventful camp experience, starting with a barbecue by the lake, an engaging scavenger hunt, and a humorous noise complaint incident during our ladies’ pajama party.

When Silence is Deafening - Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 

 

0:00:11 – Kayla

Welcome to the peas and carrots podcast. 

 

0:00:13 – Brian

I’m Brian, I’m Kayla. Welcome to this week’s edition, mercy where do we begin? Y’all, it has been a week. It has. It has been a week If you’ve ever seen a meme of this gopher that just sits on a fence and screams. 

 

0:00:30 – Kayla

That’s what we feel like doing. 

 

0:00:31 – Brian

That’s exactly where we’ve been. 

 

0:00:33 – Kayla

But let’s start here so we’ll start with the reason that we kind of went AWOL. Last week Our PAR family came together for summer camp. Our PAR family came together for summer camp and what this is is it’s an opportunity to come together to do some mid-year training and culture building. We’ll share some stories about that in a few minutes, but the entire PAR team traveled to Tennessee Our WCQR team, who is in Johnson City, Tennessee. 

 

They hosted it, hosted us, planned it, planned it, hosted it Knocked it, hosted it, knocked it out of the park. Incredible, it was amazing. So that’s where we were last week. And then we came home on Thursday evening and what did we discover? 

 

0:01:16 – Brian

That our AC unit had died. 

 

0:01:18 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:01:19 – Brian

So we called the company that we normally work with. They come out Friday and they tell us it’s not an easy fix. The whole system has to be replaced. Yeah, when it went south is when we asked well, could you? When? And they said August 14th, which would be like three or four weeks of us living in a house with no air conditioning. 

 

0:01:41 – Kayla

And 90 degrees outside Now listen. 

 

0:01:43 – Brian

I understand that for some of y’all that’s not a big deal, but yet for Fat Boy here that’s a big deal. I’m just saying. 

 

0:01:49 – Kayla

It was a big deal for me too. We ended up, long story short, we ended up doing five nights with no air conditioning. God smiled on us even in the fact that the temperatures were weirdly low for July. We had some stormy evenings and then it went down to the 60s, but y’all our house got up to 81 degrees. 

 

0:02:12 – Brian

And yeah, and let me just say this I want to thank James Kramer with Radford Mechanical. We’ve known him and his family for. 

 

0:02:21 – Kayla

He fit us in during a very busy season for himself, spent an entire day and a morning to assure that we would have air conditioning before next week goes back to the 90s. 

 

0:02:35 – Brian

So, thank you, he fit us in. We would highly recommend him. I highly recommend him. 

 

0:02:41 – Kayla

And we are not getting any kind of discount for that. 

 

0:02:44 – Brian

So I just need to say that there is no, we did not of discount for that. So I just need to say that there is no. 

 

0:02:46 – Kayla

We did not get prompted to say that. 

 

0:02:48 – Brian

We wanted to say that when the original company came out to investigate what was going on, they rang the front doorbell and that doorbell is 20 years old. 

 

0:02:57 – Kayla

That doorbell got stuck, uh-huh well, he said there was a short in the wire between the doorbell and when you walk upstairs, you, when you walk upstairs, you could hear it. 

 

0:03:07 – Brian

And then you started smelling electrical burning, went back downstairs and we unstuck the doorbell, got it stopped and whatever. That electrical burning stopped and so we had to call another company to come out Replace our unit and replace the doorbell. And one of us was always home I think that happened on a Friday, so one of us was always home on Friday, Saturday, Sunday, because we didn’t want somebody coming up ringing the doorbell and having a fire, having a fire, yeah, and so that got changed out Monday morning. So there’s that. That got fixed, that’s done. And our water heater didn’t give us hot water, but that was a simple fix. 

 

0:03:44 – Kayla

we got that done but we thought we were looking at a new water heater. And then the thing that broke me all of that ac unit, okay, that stinks, but roll on um water heater, man, that’s a cold bath. Roll on doorbell. Thank god the house didn’t burn down while we were gone. Ant-palooza. We wake up yesterday morning and it’s as if ants have stormed the gates. The kitchen is covered in ants. 

 

0:04:14 – Brian

And I just need to say this is that my wife keeps a very clean house. 

 

0:04:17 – Kayla

Okay, they apparently came in with the change in weather. I read and learned that ants will they like air conditioning too? Well. 

 

0:04:29 – Brian

Can you blame them? 

 

0:04:30 – Kayla

It went from being very, very hot to very, very wet. We started getting rain every day, and so I read that they were trying to find somewhere outside of the rain and they were getting in and they found your kitchen. And I just I looked at you and I said I’m done, I just I can’t handle it anymore. But you went and bought this stuff called stem there was this stuff at Target and, knock on wood, we’ve not had any ants today. They were all gone as of this morning. 

 

0:05:00 – Brian

And then I bought some stuff for outside. You sprayed outside. 

 

0:05:04 – Kayla

So it has been a first world problem kind of week. Let us say that Even in the midst of all of it, we are both okay. Our home is nice and cool. There were no health effects of being in a very hot house, which I was worried about for you, so I was not sleeping at night because I was afraid you were going to have a sugar crash or something. I had Hampton Inn in the back of my mind that you know. We had a place we could go if we had to. It was just a lot in a very short amount of time and the reality is we can see how the things that took place at summer camp the worship, the community, the culture that was built, the love that was poured out between team members the enemy didn’t like that and he came out and he came out, and it wasn’t just us. 

 

A lot of our team members are walking through some hardcore stuff coming out of camp, so we would welcome your prayers. We are fine. Our house no longer smells like it’s burning and it’s cool. 

 

0:06:12 – Brian

And the team will be fine. 

 

0:06:13 – Kayla

They will be. It’s just a lot. So we will share some fun stories about camp in just a few minutes. 

 

0:06:23 – Brian

Silence. I do not enjoy silence and if we’re having a conversation with somebody and there’s like that awkward silence, I can’t. That’s a recipe that like we’re not going to be friends. I don’t sit here and just look at somebody for 10 minutes. Somebody needs to talk, but what happens? How do you deal with, how do you move forward when you feel that God is silent or you can’t feel him? 

 

0:06:55 – Kayla

And this is very honest and kind of scary to admit because, first of all, what I do in my work, I’m there and I admitted that to you the other night I feel and there’s a key word in there I feel God is silent and I’m really struggling with not feeling his voice or his presence in my life. 

 

0:07:21 – Brian

There’s some Kleenex. 

 

0:07:22 – Kayla

So we’ve talked about this. No, I’m hoping not to cry. 

 

0:07:25 – Brian

Well, you’ve already started. I can see life. 

 

0:07:26 – Kayla

So we’ve talked about this. No, I’m hoping not to cry, but I am stuck in a place of believing that God is for everyone else and this is not a therapy session. 

 

0:07:39 – Brian

So don’t charge each of you $125. 

 

0:07:42 – Kayla

You’re not going to get a bill. 

 

0:07:44 – Brian

Oh, I’d like to, I mean help out the ministry. 

 

0:07:48 – Kayla

What did you remind me? So, for those who perhaps have either been there yourself or you are there, that you also are struggling with feeling that God is just not active, you’re not seeing or believing or feeling his strength in your life, what are some key things that you’ve reminded me this week, and I’m clinging to them, but I’m still struggling. 

 

0:08:13 – Brian

First thing I would say is listen. Now, this is for me because I’m a fixer. I mean, as soon as you start talking to me, I had six or seven solutions in my head and I started talking and the first thing would be would you just listen? 

 

0:08:28 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:08:29 – Brian

Okay. So whoever’s going through this, talk to somebody, but make sure that they’re a listener. So here’s some things that I tried to nudge you on. First of all, RC Sproul said this who God is doesn’t depend on how I feel about him. 

 

0:08:48 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:08:49 – Brian

He’s still God. That should give me hope and confidence, because my feelings can be all over the map. Let me give you an example. You ever read the Psalms? Yeah, in this first Psalm, David’s like oh, you’re the greatest God, oh, you’re great, I’m worshiping you. In the next Psalm, he’s in the pit. Yeah, somebody just throw dirt on me and bury me because God hates me. So my first encouragement to you was read the Psalms, because it will tell you that you’re not the only human who has ever dealt with this. 

 

0:09:22 – Kayla

Which lends to keep praying, keep reading His Word and something that you have said to me many times remember in the dark what you learned in the light, and that’s tough when you are in a season that, if you’ve never been here, I actually do pray, that you never have to. It is a terrible feeling that God is just void and I’m reminding myself every single day of his word. I’m reminding myself of how he has shown up in the past, of the things you encouraged me and I do. I journal every day, but you have reminded me to specifically journal. What are the things that today prove to me? 

 

the tiny mercies that, and I think we all kind of get on autopilot. We’re living our life. Maybe we take a little too much credit for it. Maybe we believe that we can somehow earn it. 

 

You wake up in the morning, or if I’m good enough if I do, enough if I, and none of that changes. And maybe that’s some of the things he’s trying to remind me. But I keep picking up my Bible and I keep talking to him. Sometimes it feels like it’s bouncing off the ceiling, but I can’t just stop doing that, as hard as the outcome may feel. 

 

0:11:05 – Brian

The Puritans actually taught that God will sometimes remove his ability for you to actually feel him, and so that, as a result, you become more dependent on him. So that’s what they taught, and it comes from the Psalms, actually, that you see that. And so here’s what’s amazing is that you want to sense his presence, you want to feel again that he cares, and so what are you doing? You’re reading his word, you’re praying, and so I guess, in a sense and this is where you get into like, in other words, why is God doing this? I don’t know the answer to that. 

 

0:11:38 – Kayla

And I don’t either, but not yet, but yet. 

 

0:11:41 – Brian

I can say this I see you pursuing him, I see you reading, I see you praying, so I can see evidence of what he’s doing. I don’t know his actual motive. 

 

0:11:56 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:11:57 – Brian

But let me say this his love for you hasn’t changed. His grace and mercy is still there and I encourage you and everybody else who’s going through this I do this all the time because I have more doubt than like I do. Faith Write down every day tiny mercies like I woke up, I have health, I have a job, I have the most amazing wife in the world. I mean I could just keep going with all this. Our home, I’m saved, I’m not going to hell, I will never have to face the wrath of God. You just keep going and you’re going to realize he is there, but I may not be able to necessarily feel him. 

 

0:12:41 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

So, another thing that you reminded me and again, obviously you are my safe space is we don’t live in a vacuum. We aren’t meant to carry things solely on our own, and you could tell that I was really in a hard struggle and I shared my doubts with you because you are a trusted confidant. Find someone in your life that you can just lay your soul bare, because you can’t always pick yourself back up and you’re being very patient. I can tell you just want to fix this, you want it to just be a thing in the past and I know in time that it will work out. I’m believing for that. But also keep leaning in to someone else. Don’t try to handle all of it by yourself, because that’s just going to lend to more feeling oriented thinking, and that’s another thing that you keep reminding me. Don’t trust your feelings. 

 

0:13:55 – Brian

I think that there’s a lesson here is that when you are struggling, don’t be Job’s friends. Don’t show up and tell that person well, here’s what God’s doing. You just need to sit in the dirt with the person and let them cry and let them get to about Job 41 or like Job 42. And that’s where God shows up and says all right, you ready to talk, put your big boy pants on. And that’s literally what shows up and says all right, you’re ready to talk, but you’re big boy pants on. And that’s literally what God says to Job. And so my job is to sit in the dirt with you, walk with you every day, listen, pray for you and just keep looking forward. I will say this as the last thing for you and anybody else who’s walking through this Look in the rearview mirror, because what he’s done in the past can be fuel for your faith in the present. 

 

0:14:50 – Kayla

Hmm. 

 

0:14:52 – Brian

Think about this Moses and the Israelites are at the Red Sea. They can’t go forward because you have an Egyptian army who’s coming up behind them and they can’t go backwards. I would have been flipping out, I would have just been losing my mind. But there’s one thing they had just come from Egypt, where they saw plagues and miracles and where God had delivered them. So by looking at the past, they had fuel for faith there in the present, and that’s I’m just saying. I mean that this isn’t easy. 

 

0:15:27 – Kayla

And another truth that’s hard to swallow is don’t look at what he hasn’t done. That’s hard to sit here and confess my disappointment, my frustration, my, but God, I did this, and do you care? Or my, but I have been faithful in this, and do you care? It takes nothing away from who he is, and that’s a head knowledge that I’ve grasped. It’s something that my heart is still wrestling with is but why haven’t you done X, Y, Z? And he may never do that, because that’s not who he is, never do that because that’s not who he is.

 

0:16:16 – Brian

I’ll just sprinkle in a little scripture. It says that he shows mercy on whom he shows mercy and he doesn’t on whom he doesn’t. And that’s his prerogative to be God. We want to actually control him when he’s the one who’s actually sovereign. So, baby, I just want to tell you this I love you, I’ll walk with you every step of the way, and I love seeing God at work in your heart, even though I know it’s painful. 

 

0:16:40 – Kayla

Right back at you. Okay, so before we all need to like go drown our sorrows, let’s go back to camp. That was. Thank you all for listening to that. I know that was a lot of a lot. 

 

0:16:56 – Brian

No, it wasn’t, it was beautiful. 

 

0:16:57 – Kayla

Camp was fun. 

 

0:17:00 – Brian

The entire team comes together under one roof twice a year. 

 

0:17:04 – Kayla

It’s for like a day and a half. 

 

0:17:06 – Brian

This camp and then at the first of the year we do what’s called Vision Week. So this was camp and people arrive Tuesday evening for dinner and a barbecue out at a lake and then we leave Thursday around noon. 

 

0:17:19 – Kayla

Noon yeah. 

 

0:17:21 – Brian

And we stayed at a beautiful place down in Johnson City. 

 

0:17:24 – Kayla

Oh, my word, If you are ever there, there is a hotel. Now, listen, I’m going to go ahead and tell you we got a discount because we had such a large group and we have a Ronda Lacey. We stayed at the Carnegie Hotel. In Johnson City, Tennessee, which every single one of us, our jaws dropped when we walked in it was gorgeous Y’all. I had a clawfoot tub. Why is that a big deal? Because I’m a girl and I like baths. 

 

0:17:51 – Brian

Okay, but anyway, Tuesday evening, If I got in that thing, you have to put butter on the side. It but anyway, Tuesday evening, if I got in that thing, you have to put butter on the side. Just get me out of it. 

 

0:17:58 – Kayla

Go ahead. You made a new friend. We had our kickoff with a barbecue and a concert led by Ben Fuller. 

 

0:18:07 – Brian

He’s a CCM artist and he’s had who I Am was number one song and I mean he’s got other great songs out. But I learned we’re sitting there chatting and he loves Abraham Lincoln and I said shut up. He pulls out his phone and starts showing me all this. He’s got pictures of Lincoln. He’s got memorabilia. Well, we sat there and chatted. I bet you 45. We exchanged phone numbers. We text every single day about Lincoln. 

 

0:18:37 – Kayla

Thank you, Jesus if you have the opportunity to say thank you Jesus, because you’re you’re able to talk Lincoln with someone else and it’s wonderful now. 

 

0:18:48 – Brian

Now you’re about to have this, now you’re about to hit Kayla’s passion point, because we went to a restaurant called Cootie Brown’s. And what was dessert? Let’s just go ahead and skip. 

 

0:18:58 – Kayla

Y’all do not skip the key lime pie If you are in Johnson City and you go to Cootie Brown’s, which it is a legit restaurant. Everything is made on site, it’s fresh, it’s incredible. 

 

0:19:11 – Brian

I could not have the key lime pie. 

 

0:19:13 – Kayla

He could not have it, but I cheated on my diet. 

 

0:19:15 – Brian

But it was the size of your head. 

 

0:19:17 – Kayla

It was massive, I couldn’t finish it. 

 

0:19:19 – Brian

I could only eat half of it. On a scale of one to ten. How good was it?

 

0:19:22 – Kayla

A twelve. Wow. It had a layer of very tart key lime and then it had a layer that was more mousse-like, smooth and creamy. 

 

0:19:30 – Brian

Hairy mousse. 

 

0:19:32 – Kayla

Oh yuck. 

 

0:19:33 – Brian

Did it have horns? Oh, you meant moose is in like a little ice, yeah not that, oh, okay. 

 

0:19:38 – Kayla

So Okay, we had a game night, oh, and a PJ. Hang on, I’m confessing, the guys had a game night, the girls had a PJ party. It was not the guys that got a noise complaint. 

 

0:19:54 – Brian

Yeah, so the phone rings. This is Jordan, from the front desk. 

 

0:19:58 – Kayla

We’ve had a complaint about your room and all the noise coming from it, so yeah, he did tell us, though, that quiet hours did not begin until 11, and it was only 930. So if we were planning to go past 11, we were going to need to move, and I said, oh, we’ll be done by then. And we were going to need to move and I said, oh, we’ll be done by then. In case you think that all we did was goof off, we spent an entire morning with Dr Natalie Pickering, wasn’t it? 

 

0:20:26 – Brian

Lauren Pickering. 

 

0:20:28 – Kayla

Oh, I thought her name was Natalie. 

 

0:20:30 – Brian

Her name is Dr Pickering. There we go, okay. Pickering. There we go, okay. And she taught us all about the Enneagram and what it reveals about us and how it helps us work together as a team, and different personalities, and what we like and don’t like and how to approach people. 

 

0:20:45 – Kayla

It was quite eye-opening to learn how we all mesh. 

 

0:20:49 – Brian

Yes. 

 

0:20:50 – Kayla

And I know that the Enneagram is controversial with some people. Enneagram is controversial with some people, but using it as a tool to be able to communicate and to be able to respect each other’s boundaries and the team that works well together accomplishes more and she helped us to see something. I mean, she nailed me to the wall and if any of you are huge Enneagram people, I’m a one wing two. 

 

0:21:16 – Brian

I’m an eight with a seven wing. 

 

0:21:19 – Kayla

But what I learned, and this is what was just mind boggling for me, even as a one wing two, when I’m at my healthiest, I trend towards a seven. You have a seven, and both of my dearest, closest work confidants have a seven, and so I am surrounded by sevens. If I’m at my best, that’s where I trend towards. 

 

0:21:45 – Brian

So that was comforting and kind of wild. I’m an eight with a seven wing, which means I want to change the world. I have big dreams, I have big pictures. Yeah, okay, I don’t do details, so this is what cracked me up my wife, who is my number one confidant, is an Enneagram one with a two wing. All about the details, all about them. Adam McCain, who is the VP of operations, who is my number one here in the organization, he’s a one with a two wing. 

 

So when, I start presenting him plans, he’ll say Bina, what about this? How will we do this? How are we going to scale this? 

 

0:22:24 – Kayla

And then, what is your executive assistant? 

 

0:22:27 – Brian

Adam Reed is a two with a one wing. It takes three people to wrestle me to the ground to keep me alive? Yes, it does. 

 

0:22:37 – Kayla

It was fascinating. It really was. We did an actual scavenger hunt where we had an hour and a half and we had to visit. So I will just admit to some of the things that I did. We got points. We could choose from an entire list of things. 

 

0:22:53 – Brian

I’m sitting in my Kia and I see you piggybacking on the back of a team member going into a store in. 

 

0:23:01 – Kayla

Johnson City, but I got points for doing it. You had to go in one door and out the other, piggybacking. You had to ask a stranger, I had to ride through the parking lot in a shopping cart and shout to infinity and beyond. 

 

I had to sing with a stranger. One of our team members had to pretend that she was a dog and be led along. So this was, and again, we got points for each of these crazy things that we did. It was a whole lot of fun, but we will end with this. Not to end on a serious note, but it is. One of our team members actually got hurt. She fell and she is actually in the hospital and recovering from a broken leg and a broken hand and even in that we have seen how God has worked and God has brought his family together to take care of her. 

 

But if you would pray for her, her name is Donna. She’s one of my favorite humans in the entire world. 

 

0:24:04 – Brian

She’s amazing. 

 

0:24:05 – Kayla

And she’s hopefully moving to a rehab center any day now. We just need a bed to come available. But, as you are listening, if you would just keep her in your prayers. This was scary and she’s a rock star. 

 

0:24:22 – Brian

She has the sweetest spirit. 

 

0:24:25 – Kayla

I’m not going to say that I would be as content as she has been. So, yeah, that was hard, but it was a wonderful time with all of our team until then. But it was a wonderful time with all of our team until then and we have some pretty funny core memories that we’re carrying away. 

 

0:24:46 – Brian

So, hey, we’d like to share a little bit of peas and carrots with you. We’d like to send you a coffee mug, a notepad, a pen and some Cute little stickers, Cute little stickers and a sticky note. 

 

0:24:55 – Kayla

There’s a sticky note too. Really, Do we send them out a sticky note? 

 

0:24:56 – Brian

There’s a sticky note too. Really, Do we send them out a sticky note? There’s a notepad with sticky notes on it. Oh yeah, a notepad. 

 

0:25:01 – Kayla

So the first two people that go to our website. We say this every week. There’s a trivia button there. If you will click that trivia button and to find that you go to peasandcarrotspodcast.com. If you will click that trivia button, there is a question. 

 

0:25:18 – Brian

And this week’s question is when did we go for summer camp? What’s the name of the town? 

 

0:25:21 – Kayla

What town were we in? Yeah, so again go to peasandcarrotspodcast.com. 

 

0:25:26 – Brian

Click on the trivia button and answer this question. 

 

0:25:28 – Kayla

Where did B and K go for summer camp? What town were we in? 

 

0:25:32 – Brian

Hey, thanks for listening and you can search Peas and Carrots Podcast. 

 

0:25:36 – Kayla

Wherever you get your podcasts, visit our website, which is peasandcarrotspodcast.com, and when you do, please don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast. 

 

0:25:44 – Brian

You can follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast. And please don’t forget to pray for Donna. 

 

0:25:53 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Growing through the challenges we face and finding hope along the way. That’s the Jesus Fix It Podcast with Jess. Check out jesusfixit.com or search Jesus Fix It wherever you listen to podcasts.

 

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Season 3, Episode 7: Bye, Busy Bee

Bye, Busy Bee - Episode Description

Welcome to the Peas and Carrots Podcast, where the ordinary becomes extraordinary through a symphony of laughter. Your hosts, Brian and Kayla Sanders, invite you into their world of marital mirth and everyday absurdities. This episode takes a deep dive into the comedic side of marriage and life’s most mundane moments. Listen in as they share heartwarming and hilarious stories from their personal “vegetable patch” of life.

They take you on a journey of their shared life, revealing the quirks and quips of their marriage. From their comedic crusade against dirty dishes to answered prayers, Brian and Kayla show how laughter and self-awareness are the key ingredients to their marital journey. This podcast is not just about listening, but about engaging with the stories and finding yourself nodding and laughing along. Whether it’s Kayla’s confession of a spoon-assisted mayo spread or Brian’s, this podcast promises to add a dash of laughter to your day. So pull up a chair, and prepare to embrace the laughter with the Peas and Carrots Podcast.

Bye, Busy Bee - Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 

 

0:00:11 – Kayla

Welcome to the Peas and Carrots Podcast. I’m Brian and I’m Kayla.

 

0:00:14 – Brian

Welcome to this week’s edition of “what’s growin’ in the vegetable patch.”

 

0:00:18 – Kayla

Well, well, we have a variety of things. We any of them moldy? 

 

0:00:24 – Brian

Oh, I hope not. Oh, we have to throw away strawberries. 

 

0:00:27 – Kayla

That brain of yours is a magical place. We did have to throw away strawberries the other day. We had some pretty nasty strawberries. I opened the, so I always Wash them and cut them and put them in a container. And when I open the container, you declared what. 

 

0:00:44 – Brian

Oh, something’s rotten Kind of hit us. Yeah, anyway, okay we’re very random. 

 

0:00:51 – Kayla

Well so I am officially. Where did I leave my heating pad? Stage of life and she’s got to, I do. 

 

0:01:00 – Brian

She’s got a little avocado one which she just clears. Quote is the cutest y’all this thing is fantastic Okay. I do not work for this company. 

 

0:01:08 – Kayla

Hold on, I have to share this. It’s shaped like an avocado, it’s a little stuffed avocado and it has dried like Wheatgrass or something and lavender, so when you heat it that legal wheatgrass. Well, I mean, I hope so. I bought it off Amazon, but it’s amazing. So not only does it like work as a heating pad, but it also Provides relaxation because you have the lavender. 

 

0:01:33 – Brian

So yeah, and then you got a second one and it’s got like little corn. I will corn yeah you like that one. Every time you warm it up, I smell like pop, yeah, like we’re having popcorn so but here I am. 

 

0:01:46 – Kayla

This is who I am now and you put on your leg. 

 

0:01:48 – Brian

We’re you fell. Yes, it’s helping a lot, so so Okay gentlemen, no, ma’am, ladies and gentlemen, we have an update. 

 

0:01:58 – Kayla

You’ve been waiting for two weeks to share this. 

 

0:02:01 – Brian

Yes, I have a while back on the podcast, uh-huh. 

 

0:02:05 – Kayla

a major topic was I Spread mayonnaise with a spoon and I normally still to this day Spread mayo with a knife. 

 

0:02:18 – Brian

We were at dinner the other evening. I was being lazy and she took a spoon and spread mayo. 

 

0:02:25 – Kayla

Yeah, and I will never live this down. 

 

0:02:28 – Brian

And, as my dad would say, you, you just lathered that bread up with that spoon, with that mayo and you have not let me live it down. Well come to how the rest of the world, oh, no, no, no, no, oh yes, yes, yes, I will march my little tail across the kitchen for a night next week. 

 

You got to use that little word. I put a splash in my cup of tea and now you have fallen down to where the rest of us are. Spread mayo with a spoon. Okay, the queen is off her throne.

 

0:03:00 – Kayla

Whatever. I need to give a shout out to our delightful neighbors, and these are not the ones that were bugging me with the Christmas lights, even though Jesus checked my heart. They turned their lights from Christmas lights to Valentine lights, and now they are St. Patrick’s Day lights. 

 

They got all green and I, just just to show that I’m not a complete troll, I love the festive nature of it, so a troll? Well, when you’re grumbling about someone’s Christmas lights maybe you will, but I don’t think it’s a troll, but no, I just, I am loving it and I’m here for this every evening I get to see their green St. Patrick lights and it’s just awesome. 

 

0:03:38 – Brian

So, yes, thank you to them and this week you had a very emotional moment. 

 

0:03:44 – Kayla

I did. 

 

0:03:45 – Brian

God answered a significant prayer. Yeah, that you’ve been praying for how long. 

 

0:03:51 – Kayla

Nine years. 

 

0:03:54 – Brian

We’re not gonna get into the details of it. 

 

0:03:56 – Kayla

No, I don’t. I don’t really want to do that at this time, but I have been praying something very, very specific and God answered it this week. So I say, do not quit talking to him. If there’s something that’s just burning within you, just keep coming before him. You know what? I’m happy until he makes it clear either yes or no you know what I’m happy about? 

 

0:04:21 – Brian

Yeah, it wasn’t like get rid of B, because I’m still here. Oh Well, on that note, anyway, it’s just saying but it was a y’all, I’m just saying don’t, I agree with her, don’t quit praying. The Lord hears you, he does and he will answer in his time. That’s what this is proof of and that’s a little frustrating at times. 

 

0:04:42 – Kayla

Oh yeah. 

 

0:04:45 – Brian

What are we learning about rest? Mm-hmm almost start here. I fall asleep at what time now? 

 

0:04:53 – Kayla

Okay, you have become that person, now that at 7:30 at night, you are zoning out did not have to open this up with. 

 

0:05:00 – Brian

You have become that person. That’s very judgmental coming from the lady who spreads mayonnaise with a spoon. Okay, it’s your bad habit. 

 

0:05:09 – Kayla

What whole spoon thing Anyway. 

 

I fall asleep now you and I’ve been talking a lot about this topic and we’ve we’ve covered it once before, but it’s worthy of revisiting because it seems to be the elusive for a lot of people, and so we were chatting the other night about as much as I joke it was good to see you resting. You were genuinely relaxed, you were, and so these are just some thoughts we have on real rest. When did I’m so busy, become a badge of honor? Is it perhaps more a defense mechanism, because we fear what people will think if every hour of our day Isn’t filled with something meaningful? 

 

0:06:00 – Brian

I think it’s like I’m more successful than you. I’m busier than you, so I’m more successful. Hmm. And it makes me better than you. 

 

0:06:09 – Kayla

Yeah, it’s like it’s something to be proud of being busy. 

 

0:06:14 – Brian

Now let me say this I think that we think we’re good people if we’re earning something, If we’re busy yeah like I’m trying to earn the boss’s respect, I’m trying to earn the next level up at work. 

 

0:06:29 – Kayla

I’m trying to look more irreplaceable than you. 

 

0:06:32 – Brian

Yes, yeah and so I think that lends toward our busyness. But is it good to be busy at the right things? Yes, but we shouldn’t get our self-worth From that busyness. Yeah, now that’s tough for me Because a lot of my identity is wrapped up in being a leader and being an author and that kind of stuff, and so If I’m not busy, sometimes it becomes does Brian have value? Now I’ve gotten better about that. 

 

0:07:08 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:07:09 – Brian

I have gotten better about that, because I’m trying to learn that my self-worth comes from the love of Christ, not from my efforts, not from my busyness. 

 

0:07:20 – Kayla

Yes so. 

 

Something I have learned the best rest that I can give myself is when my heart is at rest. I’m learning to carve out space for my mind and heart to rest, because we all carry so much heavy stuff and Sometimes resting in Christ looks like trusting him to carry the things that I can’t or shouldn’t carry on my own. And I am. You know, I’m the world’s worst. I’m always worrying about or thinking about something, and I’ve been working really consciously this year to just set things down and let my heart Rest, let my mind have peace, and it’s hard fought. I’m not gonna pretend this is easy. 

 

0:08:17 – Brian

Yeah, we’re different in this respect is that she, like I, can have something going on in my world. Yeah but I have the ability to like Shelf it. Oh, I can’t like. I have the ability like okay, I’ll shelf that and I’ll deal with that tomorrow. No, and you can’t. 

 

0:08:36 – Kayla

I’m constantly trying to either fix it or problem solve it, or repair it or whatever it needs. I’m trying to do that. Either I’m thinking of that next conversation that’s gonna need to take place, or I’m thinking of that next concern that I’m gonna need to address, or, yeah, it’s just cool. 

 

0:08:55 – Brian

So I’m trying. You’re doing great. I Do find it odd that the way that you oftentimes rest is to organize things. 

 

0:09:05 – Kayla

I Do like you learn that. Yeah, look at her smile. She will organize what you’re kind of sharing my secrets here. 

 

0:09:13 – Brian

Well, she loves to organize the pantry, she loves to organize her closet, even though she may have just organized it 30 days ago. 

 

0:09:20 – Kayla

You know it signals what I’m trying to do, what process process something. Yeah, so yeah, but I just find that I’ll rearrange something nine times out of ten, putting it right back the way it was, but yeah, there we are, but you feel better I do, okay, well, that’s what matters. 

 

0:09:36 – Brian

Building on what miss K said about resting in Christ, I Need us to hear this Jesus came because we can’t earn our way to heaven. We are flawed, we are depraved, we are sinful. Okay, so you have to release yourself from the burden that you can work your way to his favor. 

 

Amen you can work your way to his grace, and when you and so what we mean by resting in Christ is you rest in him, that only he Can provide you with the righteousness needed To know God and to know his peace. That’s what we mean by that. It doesn’t mean not doing anything. Now because you are resting in Christ as your only solution. That should lead you to like do things for him. 

 

We should pursue him, we should worship him, we should live our lives in ways that glorify him but those things do not earn favor, they do not earn grace, they do not earn any of that. Yeah, and that’s hard for me, that’s hard for all of us. How many of us wanted our dads to be proud of us? Yeah, I Did, and it’s one of the last things that my dad ever said to me and we carry that over to our relationship with Jesus is that we want him to be proud of us. 

 

0:10:58 – Kayla

So we try to do all this stuff but the truth is, we get to rest in the work that he did. Yes, that’s the beautiful when that really sinks in. Yes, we can truly rest in all that he accomplished on our behalf. 

 

0:11:16 – Brian

So yeah, give yourself a break. Stop trying to earn grace, trying to earn favor. Yeah, lay it down at his feet. 

 

0:11:25 – Kayla

There’s an old saying put on your own oxygen mask first. We’ve all heard that I’m no good to those around me if I haven’t properly rested. So the reason that this is so important for all of us is if we are not taking care of our basic needs, we can’t take care of others because we’re gonna be too exhausted. 

 

0:11:50 – Brian

You’re gonna be snippy not you, but oh. 

 

0:11:53 – Kayla

Well, I admit that in a minute no. 

 

0:11:54 – Brian

I think you’re snippy. 

 

0:11:55 – Kayla

Oh, I am what I’m tired Really. Oh, have you lived with me. 

 

0:12:00 – Brian

Yes, but I wouldn’t use the word snippy. Oh, all right, I Would use the word done like I’m okay, that’s what I would use. 

 

0:12:10 – Kayla

So be. How do you rest? What do you recommend? I check I read a book, yeah. 

 

0:12:15 – Brian

I’ll watch a show. I’ll watch a favorite television series or a favorite movie. I’ll take a nap. 

 

0:12:22 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:12:24 – Brian

I’ll try and take a walk. 

 

0:12:25 – Kayla

I was gonna say, for me it looks like either as you alluded, organizing something, because it helps me to understand. 

 

0:12:34 – Brian

It just helps me to rice like the numbers of rice in a bag. 

 

0:12:39 – Kayla

No, we’re not, we’re gonna not very restful. Sometimes I will read a book, sometimes I will go for a walk just getting some fresh air and clearing my brain, but a lot of times it’s those quiet moments in our house when the day is done, when when the work is finished for now, and it can just be that you and I are sitting in a shared space, and In that moment is when I find that I can truly have rest and it’s very sweet, hmm. 

 

0:13:10 – Brian

but we all go know that there are seasons in our lives that are just chaos. 

 

0:13:18 – Kayla

Yeah, they’re just so busy. They’re just so busy but it’s how we react to that. 

 

There’s so much truth when I find myself and this is what I’m willing to confess If I’m resentful or I’m complaining, easily frustrated or you know this about me if I am highly emotional or sensitive because I’m not normally, I’m not taken to like big emotion swings I can almost always trace it back to being tired, and it may not just be that I’m physically tired. But do I just need to rest? Do I need like a mental break? Or those are tells for me. So I wonder for all of us, what is it that we need to take a look at and evaluate? How am I giving away my tiredness? 

 

0:14:09 – Brian

I’ll be sharp. If I’m tired, I’ll be sharp. Would you agree with that? I mean you do no, I’m just saying would you agree with that? 

 

0:14:18 – Kayla

Well, I mean, I don’t wanna say something that’s gonna hurt your feelings. 

 

0:14:21 – Brian

It’s not gonna hurt my feelings, I don’t have any feelings. 

 

0:14:23 – Kayla

You look cranky when you’re tired, Okay that’s good, impatient.

 

0:14:28 – Brian

We’ll leave it there. Most of the leadership team would say that’s every day he must come exhausted into work every day. 

 

0:14:35 – Kayla

No, it’s a different kind of impatience. So, yeah, it’s very rare that I see it honestly, but it’s a tell for me that you’re tired. 

 

0:14:44 – Brian

But You’ll be like B go eat a cooking, take a nap. Okay, baby, I’m all about a cookie. Go watch a movie, go watch a movie, so y’all keep yourself a break. Yeah, take a nap and rest in him. Don’t try and earn his favor. 

 

0:15:02 – Kayla

And when you say, oh, I’m so busy, is it with passion or is it with gloating? 

 

0:15:10 – Brian

Or complaining. I’m the martyr. Look at me. What’s the tone behind your busy? It’s your motive, yeah, yeah. So you wanted to share some stories this week. 

 

0:15:22 – Kayla

Well, we’re gonna go back to the beginning, okay, so yeah, the first story she wanted to share. 

 

0:15:28 – Brian

Now we work for a radio ministry. 

 

0:15:32 – Kayla

We do. 

 

0:15:33 – Brian

This morning the topic on Spirit FM that Jess had. 

 

0:15:36 – Kayla

Mm-hmm. 

 

0:15:37 – Brian

Was what was something that you did that. 

 

0:15:41 – Kayla

That revealed your laziness, okay. 

 

0:15:44 – Brian

Yeah, I said something to Miss Kayla. 

 

0:15:47 – Kayla

And I shared it with Jess. 

 

0:15:48 – Brian

Yeah, who texted the morning show host, Jess at Spirit FM. So I’m gonna confess this when I was single, before I ever met you. 

 

0:15:57 – Kayla

Oh, it was before we met. Okay. 

 

0:16:00 – Brian

I would go to Walmart, or I would go to Thrift store or to the thrift. Well, it was at that point. I was going to thrift stores, but I’d also go to Walmart, uh-huh, and I would buy the cheapest set of plates and the cheapest set of silverware each week, so I wouldn’t have to wash dishes. 

 

0:16:18 – Kayla

What would you do with them, babe? 

 

0:16:20 – Brian

I’d throw them away. 

 

0:16:21 – Kayla

Why didn’t you just buy paper plates? 

 

0:16:24 – Brian

Because I might have been trying to date certain girls and have them over. 

 

0:16:29 – Kayla

Oh, my gosh. 

 

0:16:30 – Brian

And I didn’t notice. 

 

0:16:31 – Kayla

I’ve never heard this angle. 

 

0:16:32 – Brian

Well, why do you think I didn’t have paper plates? I didn’t think women would be impressed. Y’all should see her face. 

 

0:16:42 – Brian

Do you think you bring them over for dinner and you serve them on paper plates? 

 

0:16:47 – Kayla

So, but what would you do after said date left? What would you do with the plates? I don’t need them on paper. Throw them away. Throw them away. Yes, instead of what. 

 

0:16:58 – Brian

After we started dating, what did you say? 

 

0:17:02 – Kayla

We are not throwing plates away anymore, so I started having to go get paper plate. 

 

0:17:07 – Brian

So but it worked out. I mean, oh my God, you can buy cheap. 

 

0:17:11 – Kayla

See, I’ve been married to you for 30 years and I just learned the angle. That is not true. I did not know Listen, as God is my witness I did not know the reason why you weren’t back. Throw away my pink blanket. The people do not want to hear about your pink blanket. No, you don’t want to hear about your pink blanket. 

 

0:17:30 – Brian

You’re using the people as a shield. 

 

0:17:33 – Kayla

One day, the pink blanket story will be shared. They’ll be on my side. So I’m okay. They’re going to be on my side with this one too. I really missed that. I get, I grew up in a house where there was the grease bucket, and if you’re a good southern person, you know exactly what I’m talking about. You save the grease from your bacon or from your like cooking. I went to pull out. We were about four weeks from getting married. 

 

0:18:00 – Brian

We had been gifted so much stuff that you’re living with your mom and step. 

 

0:18:05 – Kayla

I was still living at home. 

 

0:18:06 – Brian

And I was 10 minutes away in a but. 

 

0:18:08 – Kayla

I was bringing some of our wedding gifts and going ahead and placing them in the cabinet. 

 

0:18:14 – Brian

Before you finish this story, I want to apologize for what happened. Okay, just want to go on the record. I’m sorry, very bad about this, but go ahead, I still have shiny hair. There was so much that is not true. 

 

0:18:25 – Kayla

I pulled out this pot that was in the top cabinet, shoved in the back, and I pulled it out thinking oh, it’s empty. It was full of old grease that when the lid fell off and hit the floor, the grease starts to pour all down me, for my hair, down my shoulders, down my shirt. I think I screamed and you came running. I smelled like old bacon grease for like a week. 

 

0:18:55 – Brian

Can I just say you were real sexy that week. I just want to say that. 

 

0:19:00 – Kayla

Okay, yeah, anyway, not our finest moment. 

 

0:19:06 – Brian

I could have nibbled on your little neck. Stop. Just saying that’s bacon. Not appropriate. Okay. Dogs were chasing her down the street. Stop. 

 

0:19:16 – Kayla

Oh my goodness, we had been married about six months and you knew I really wanted a sit down kitchen table. We did not have one. We had a couple of folding chairs and one of those little card tables and we had saved up some money. We lived in a studio apartment. 

 

0:19:36 – Brian

It was a one bedroom. It was a one bedroom, one bath apartment. It was tiny, and so we went to a furniture store Almost said grocery store, furniture store and we bought a dining room table and I picked one that had eight chairs. Okay, let me just go on the record and say we did not measure the space. That table took up 90% of our living room and dining room, and of those eight, chairs, only two of them could be used. 

 

0:20:03 – Kayla

Yeah. Because that’s how much of the space it took up until we moved into our next home. 

 

0:20:08 – Brian

Yeah so. 

 

0:20:09 – Kayla

So still laugh about that. It was beautiful, but we used two of the eight chairs. 

 

0:20:13 – Brian

You know, when we remodeled our house recently, I thought I had measured the room where we put the shelves of the library and I apparently I mismeasured and I got away with it. We have like a quarter of an inch. 

 

0:20:26 – Kayla

Oh, do we? I was aware of that. The furniture guy told on you. 

 

0:20:30 – Brian

Really, he did? I tipped him really well that day. 

 

0:20:35 – Kayla

He told on you. He said he’s been sweating buckets oh man. I thought yes. So we have a couple of air quotes “parenting stories,” our first attempt at parenting a pet. 

 

0:20:48 – Brian

We got this dog from the family. We went through this rescue and they. 

 

0:20:51 – Kayla

What they were doing is they were re-homing pets that needed to leave their current situation, so we adopted this adorable like four-year-old dog from the family. How long did we make it B?

 

0:21:06 – Brian

One day, we took him back to them the next day. 

 

0:21:09 – Kayla

Because he was so inconsolable and so we called the rescue and they’re like sure you can reach out to the family. They begged to get him back. They had so much regret over their decision to re-home him. The kids were so happy they were so happy to see us coming and we were so relieved because it was the worst night of our lives. He cried and howled all night long. 

 

0:21:35 – Brian

Another bad decision the Sanders made is we adopted a rabbit. 

 

0:21:39 – Kayla

Oh yeah, I don’t recommend this. No, when you live in an apartment. 

 

0:21:45 – Brian

It was not good your dad helped release him into the wild. Yes, so, not our finest moment. No, not our finest moment. So. 

 

0:21:57 – Kayla

Gladly. We waited a good 10 years before we got another pet and then to like set the record straight, we had that one for nearly 15 years, so yeah, this last story. 

 

0:22:07 – Brian

Okay, was this our first or second date? 

 

0:22:12 – Kayla

We were engaged. Oh, we had just gotten engaged. We were going on a date. 

 

0:22:19 – Brian

And you look at me as we’re leaving. I think your parents’ trailer and you said “do you like my skirt?” 

 

0:22:28 – Kayla

And this is the response I get. “I’m not a huge fan. The pattern looks like deck chair material. I’d change if I were you.” There are moments be when women don’t necessarily want complete honesty. This was a moment for you and yes, somehow here we are 30 years later. 

 

0:22:51 – Brian

Our whole life flashed before my eyes in that 30 seconds after I said it. I’m just going to say it we are. But here we are nearly 31 years later. 

 

0:23:00 – Kayla

Yeah, we’re on our 31st year, wow, and you have never, ever, ever criticized anything. I’ve worn since then, if you like it by it baby baby it’s so pretty. 

 

0:23:13 – Brian

Called my skirt, deck, chair material. Well, it was baby. It looked like a beach ball had been wrapped around you. That’s what it looked like it was the style back then? 

 

0:23:24 – Kayla

No, it wasn’t. Anyway, we hope you’ve had a little fun with these Two way. 

 

0:23:28 – Brian

My pink blanket and I didn’t like it Okay, we’re going to go here. 

 

0:23:32 – Kayla

No, we’re not. 

 

0:23:33 – Brian

No, we’re not no no, no, the good people. 

 

0:23:35 – Kayla

We are going to go here. She has got her finger up. I am telling this story. We were, so you asked for this. We were a month from getting married and we, of course, we had had like seven or eight wedding showers and we had been given some beautiful new linens, towels, blankets, all of it. I was at the new apartment putting together all of like the bedroom and everything like that. There was a blanket that you call it pink. It was really more of a light brown. It was so dirty. It used to be pink and the whole middle of the blanket was a hole. There was no middle, so I assumed. 

 

0:24:25 – Brian

I assumed. 

 

0:24:27 – Kayla

No, uh-uh. Either way, what you call light pink was so dirty, it was more of a brown color. 

 

0:24:33 – Brian

So what does Miss Sanders do? 

 

0:24:34 – Kayla

I threw it in the dumpster.

 

0:24:35 – Brian

And was I advised before my blanket? 

 

0:24:38 – Kayla

Fair enough, you weren’t. But nobody is going to say that I should not have gotten rid of the blanket. I could have washed it and patched it. It smelled. 

 

0:24:47 – Brian

It was horrible. Why didn’t I wash sheets? I’ve washed sheets. Maybe once a year I’d go out and buy new ones. 

 

0:24:55 – Kayla

Okay, we need to end this. Okay, that’s the story of the pink blanket. Very sad, and you had a beautiful new blanket to replace it yeah.

 

0:25:04 – Brian

And this bedspread and all these frou frou pillows and everything. 

 

0:25:08 – Kayla

Welcome to married life. 

 

0:25:10 – Brian

Okay, I love it. It’s gorgeous. Just don’t bring that beach ball stuff up into here, listen. Thanks for listening to this week’s episode of the Peas and Carrots Podcast. Hey, so far this past week we had like four winners, so all you got to do is answer a trivia question. 

 

0:25:28 – Kayla

Yes, if you will go to our website, look for the trivia button. Visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com, click that trivia button and answer this question. 

 

0:25:40 – Brian

How do you pursue rest for yourself? Do you wrap yourself in a pink blanket? Really, really. 

 

0:25:49 – Kayla

Just okay Again. Please visit the peasandcarrotspodcast.com website. Click that trivia button. No questions about pink blankets. Just how are you pursuing rest for yourself? You can search the Peas and Carrots Podcast wherever you get your podcasts, or visit our website. Again that is peasandcarrotspodcast.com.

 

0:26:11 – Brian

Thanks for listening and don’t forget to subscribe when you’re there. You can also follow us on Facebook and Instagram. 

 

0:26:19 – Kayla

Just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast. 

 

0:26:22 – Brian

I’m still a little bit bitter about that pink blanket. 

 

0:26:25 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Life’s not perfect. That’s why God gave us friends like Melody and Candi. Check out QuirksBumpsandBruises.com, or search Quirks, Bumps, and Bruises wherever you listen to podcasts. 

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