Season 3, Episode 28: Highs & Lows

Can We Talk?
Not Home Yet - Episode Description

Reflections on 31 years. 

Highs & Lows - Transcript

00:00 – Announcer (None)

We go together like peas and carrots the peas and carrots podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch Brian and Kayla Sanders. 

 

00:11 – Kayla (None)

Welcome to the peas and carrots podcast. I’m Brian and I’m Kayla. Welcome to this week’s edition. Oh, the Olympics. 

 

00:20 – Brian (None)

They’re almost over, aren’t they? They are well by the time this. 

 

00:23 – Kayla (None)

By the time this drops, I think they will have officially ended. But I forgot how much I love the Olympics. Baby, they just be. It’s the power of the story. I get that it is. You forget what each athlete has overcome. 

 

00:41 – Brian (None)

People shouldn’t be wearing this stuff. 

 

00:43 – Kayla (None)

Now listen, don’t start this. We’re keeping this family friendly and positive. 

 

00:50 – Brian (None)

I’m not dressing like this. 

 

00:52 – Kayla (None)

Think about watching those families sitting in those stands cheering for their kids and their sisters and their brothers. 

 

01:00 – Brian (None)

And with Snoop Dogg there next to him. 

 

01:02 – Kayla (None)

Oh, okay, can we just say that he is the best thing that ever happened to the olympics together are just hilarious. 

 

01:09 – Brian (None)

I just love watching them. I have enjoyed the swimming, some of the gymnastics I have really enjoyed that’s. That’s been fun, this shooting a rifle thing, I just I didn’t watch any of that. It was on TV one Saturday. 

 

01:28 – Kayla (None)

See, that was a choice that you made, but I’ve just, I’ve been all in for this one. Not that it’s any different than any other Olympics. 

 

01:38 – Brian (None)

And we have the closing ceremonies coming up. 

 

01:41 – Kayla (None)

So, yeah, not sure if we’ll see those or not, because we are headed where soon To the beach we are headed to the beach. 

 

01:49 – Brian (None)

For our 31st wedding anniversary. 

 

01:52 – Kayla (None)

We are. 

 

01:53 – Brian (None)

We have some friends coming down to join us. 

 

01:54 – Kayla (None)

We do, we’re going to spend a few days by ourselves, and then we have some friends coming to spend. Actually it’s my bestie and her husband and they’re coming to spend a few days with us and you guys are going to what? 

 

02:05 – Brian (None)

Go play some golf. You are Hope I can walk and move my hands the next day, Arthritis. I mean, I couldn’t even. Just to be honest, I couldn’t even go to the gym today because of it. 

 

02:21 – Kayla (None)

But I’m excited. I mean I’ll tank. If you want to use Febreze, you go right ahead. 

 

02:25 – Brian (None)

May not help with your arthritis but you’ll smell good, stop, okay, so Biofreeze. But here we are, I’m excited. I am glad we were not at the beach this week Tropical Storm Debbie has. Yeah, and the day that this episode drops the day you’re listening. Well, let me just say this the day that this episode drops, the day you’re listening. 

 

02:49 – Kayla (None)

Well, let me just say this Not the day that you’re listening to it, possibly, but the day this episode drops, we will celebrate 31 years of marriage. 

 

02:54 – Brian (None)

Yeah, I asked you what could I get you for our 31st wedding anniversary. What was your answer? You. 

 

03:02 – Kayla (None)

No, it’s not what you said. That is what I said you said get me to the beach. To spend time with you Okay that’s sweet. 

 

03:09 – Brian (None)

I looked up what the 31st wedding anniversary gift is and it’s not very exciting. 

 

03:13 – Kayla (None)

What is it? I’m curious. I can’t remember now. Oh, it was that good. 

 

03:16 – Brian (None)

It was not a good. I mean, I’ll get you. 

 

03:19 – Kayla (None)

No, we had this conversation. It drives me crazy when you spend big money on flowers and then I have to throw them away and it makes my heart hurt. 

 

03:29 – Brian (None)

Oh, pearls, I forgot. 

 

03:31 – Kayla (None)

Pearls? Oh Well, I already have those, that’s why. So there we go, happy anniversary. 

 

03:38 – Brian (None)

I mean, they’re not exciting to me, but you like them, yeah. So yeah, happy anniversary, darling. I’d do it all over again. 

 

03:44 – Kayla (None)

Me too. There is a quote we shared on a recent podcast that our entire team had come together and we had summer camp together. We delightfully spent three hours with Dr Natalie Pickering and she walked us through the Enneagram During that time. She shared this quote with us and it has stuck with you and I. Everything that irritates us about others illuminates something about ourselves. 

 

04:22 – Brian (None)

Lord, yes. 

 

04:24 – Kayla (None)

And we’ve been kind of chewing over that you even actually you had our team discuss it this week in like their daily morning thoughts. How is this true? 

 

04:38 – Brian (None)

It’s true, because there are certain things in other people that drive me up a wall. Certain things in other people drive me up a wall. And it’s true. It’s true for every single one of us, because I don’t want to say this. It’s like sandpaper. It’s like that particular characteristics of that person. It gets up next to you and it’s like sandpaper, just rubbing up against you. 

 

05:02 – Kayla (None)

Yeah, and so but often it’s as if God is holding up a mirror to us and the things that are irritating us are because we really know about ourselves. It may be a trait that we’ve either had and we’re working on, or it’s something we don’t really want to have to admit to. 

 

05:22 – Brian (None)

For example, if there’s somebody who how do I say this? Something that aggravates me about somebody else, will often expose arrogance on my part, that like I just want to say to people sometimes, would you just shut up? You have been talking for 60 minutes, do you not? I mean, do you have gills? Are you breathing? Just shut up. And part of that is one, I’m mentally worn out. But also two, it reveals my heart that like I’d like to say something. And how arrogant is that of me to say something, and how arrogant is that of me. So it reminds me of when Jesus said don’t worry about the speck in your neighbor’s eye, worry about the log that’s like in your own. And sometimes I think what happens is that speck is like sandpaper. Yeah, and it irritates something and the question becomes. 

 

06:31

Why is that irritating me? Why is that? Why does that particular person and that particular topic irritate me? Well, let’s just say this one it could just be that they’re stupid or that they’re wrong or something like that, but usually it’s a little deeper than that, because it’s revealing something in me, that there’s an arrogance, that there’s a lack of dependence, that my heart may not be open to certain things. So for me that’s been a big revelation and I don’t like to live there because I like my comfort and I also like to be right, and I just confess that. 

 

07:14 – Kayla (None)

Yeah, none of us likes to have to Do kind of a self-assessment, and this quote sent us in that direction that there are situations where we lose patience with others, or we’re easily angered, or maybe we are worrying about things that aren’t ours to worry about, or am I being self-righteous? Or am I being self-righteous? Or perhaps I’m projecting my own values onto someone else in a situation? Well, this reminded me that in those moments, I need to pause and ask myself what’s the motive behind why I’m acting the way I’m acting? Is it because I’m feeling a rebellious streak, because they’ve shown me something about myself that I don’t want to own, or is it as simple as I thought I had outgrown that? 

 

08:16 – Brian (None)

Now we’re talking about a whole negative side here. Now there could be a positive side. 

 

08:21 – Kayla (None)

Oh, absolutely, yeah, no, I was going to go there, right yeah. 

 

08:24 – Brian (None)

Like because we’ve both. I mean, let me say this I went very heavy on the whole negative side. Now, if there’s somebody who is beating you up mentally and yeah. They’re like abusing you. You know I’m talking about and you feel a certain way. Do not sit there and say well, there is something wrong with me. Well, there is something wrong with me. No, there’s something wrong with that person yeah. Yeah, so please don’t hear what I’m saying at all as a justification for somebody to mistreat you. 

 

08:58 – Kayla (None)

Absolutely and truthfully. We were going to get there in just a second. There are situations where the Lord can use other people to help us grow, to grow in grace, to grow in our own responses, to grow in how we would then react to something. Whereas I may have reacted totally different five or 10 years ago, the Lord may use that person to help me be a better version of myself the next time I may see something modeled to me that I want to emulate. So it’s not just a matter of running away from things. Sometimes it’s a running towards a good behavior or a good decision. That’s a great point, and so there is that. But this quote I think the quote itself lends to admitting the hard stuff. 

 

09:53 – Brian (None)

I like what you just said. That is a big one. I mean, you’ve just blown my mind literally that sometimes what I see in like somebody else, I need that in me and so that kind of pricks at my heart or rubs me but yet I need that and I want that. That’s hard for like me to admit Now I’m going to be honest, but that’s great insight, I mean someone who doesn’t worry about. You ought to be a psychologist. Oh shoot, Because you’re actually fixing me on these podcasts. I see what you’re doing here. 

 

10:28 – Kayla (None)

It took 31 years. 

 

10:29 – Brian (None)

Oh, stop it. 

 

10:32 – Kayla (None)

It’s easy for me to worry. I love being around people who have the capability to not worry about tomorrow. 

 

10:41 – Brian (None)

I don’t, I don’t like being around those people. 

 

10:44 – Kayla (None)

Why. 

 

10:46 – Brian (None)

There’s a comet headed to Earth to hit us and they’re just sitting around knitting pictures of dogs or something. No, I want somebody working on a solution. I want so. 

 

10:58 – Kayla (None)

I need them to. That mind of yours is a very strange place. So I worry, I just don’t. 

 

11:02 – Brian (None)

So I worry. I just don’t express the worry. I like being around people who have a grasp of like reality. 

 

11:09 – Kayla (None)

Well, that’s a given. These are people who they have seen the track record of God and they’re willing to trust that, just as he has the today, he has the tomorrow, and those are the people that I wish I could be more like Now. The people that drive me crazy are the ones who can find something wrong in every good situation. 

 

11:36 – Brian (None)

Oh, my word. 

 

11:37 – Kayla (None)

And those are the ones that. 

 

11:39 – Brian (None)

Those are the ones I want a horse with. 

 

11:41 – Kayla (None)

But then I still have to ask myself why is that getting next to me? And maybe it is just as simple as emulate the good stuff and be mindful of the things that don’t glorify God or make me more like him. And that sounds very easy, but it’s not. 

 

12:06 – Brian (None)

You are blowing my mind this afternoon. This is incredible. 

 

12:10 – Kayla (None)

It’s tough stuff. I mean, you’ve had us thinking about it all week. 

 

12:14 – Brian (None)

I mean you’re dropping truth bomb after just I don’t know Truth bomb here. 

 

12:19 – Kayla (None)

But there was another point that you shared with me, though, and this one’s this one’s pretty much a truth bomb in itself. 

 

12:26 – Brian (None)

The irritation from others reveals oftentimes my own selfishness. In other words, I’m revealing that my world has to be set up in just a certain way so I have complete peace and no aggravation at all in my life. Oh, how selfish I am. Why are you looking? She won’t even look at me right now. Why won’t you even look at me? Because this is true, isn’t it? 

 

12:54 – Kayla (None)

It’s all of us. 

 

12:56 – Brian (None)

I think I’m a little bit more extra. 

 

12:59 – Kayla (None)

I don’t think so. I’m a little extra. Unless you’re just one of those people who chases drama for sport. 

 

13:06 – Brian (None)

Oh, is that me? This is all of us. Is that me? No? 

 

13:11 – Kayla (None)

You hit it with a bat. 

 

13:14 – Brian (None)

The drama, not the person. 

 

13:16 – Kayla (None)

Well, yeah, definitely worth clarifying. 

 

13:19 – Brian (None)

I like peace, I like happiness, I like there to be no aggravation. Now, if it’s fun, I’m in for it, but if it’s somebody just looking for drama, yeah, let me ask this what happens when we refuse to see ourselves rightly? You treat other people wrongly. Yep and you treat other people wrongly and you live in such a way that you cannot be as effective as you need to be. And let me say this you will never see yourself 100% objectively. Nope, I don’t care how it works. 

 

13:58 – Kayla (None)

That’s why you need a Bible study group, a home fellowship group, a church, a Sunday school class, yes, a best friend who is brave enough to look at you and say this version of you is not your best self. I find that when I become overly critical, there is something in me that I’m running away from. 

 

14:18 – Brian (None)

Ice cream. 

 

14:20 – Kayla (None)

What. 

 

14:22 – Brian (None)

You should run toward ice cream, is what I’m saying. Go ahead, but I’m just, I’m just trying to okay, go ahead what are you running away from? 

 

14:30 – Kayla (None)

yes, if I’m being overly critical, it’s running away from something I don’t want to have to deal with in myself. So for all of us, there’s that moment where we have to be willing to hit pause and ask ourself why am I acting like this? And perhaps it’s that I don’t want to have to see myself rightly To her point. What’s that sandpaper that you referred to? What’s causing the friction? Is that something’s being illuminated that we want to keep in the dark? Yes, that I don’t want to keep in the dark. 

 

15:04 – Brian (None)

Yes, that I don’t want to have to deal with. I just want all happy and just all kumbaya. 

 

15:12 – Kayla (None)

So the solution for all of this, we just said it Surround yourself with people who are willing to speak truth into you, the right people.

 

15:20 – Brian (None)

And when something aggravates, you take a pause, investigate your own heart and make sure it’s not something that the Lord’s trying to work on your heart about. I mean, there’s a million things in my heart he’s trying to work on, but I just kind of put a padlock and eat ice cream is how I try. 

 

15:37 – Kayla (None)

You really need some ice cream today, don’t you? No, I don’t know. 

 

15:39 – Announcer (None)

That’s the third time. 

 

15:40 – Kayla (None)

I think you’ve said ice cream. 

 

15:41 – Brian (None)

Is it Maybe, I think that’s inspired of Jesus, right there, that we do that. 

 

15:46 – Kayla (None)

Here’s the truth All of us are on equal footing when it comes to the things that need to be illuminated, and that’s why we have Christ, because none of us is going to get it perfectly right anytime we try. And as he’s revealing to us the things that we need to be irritated about with ourselves, may we take it to them and ask him for the strength to help us overcome. 

 

16:17 – Brian (None)

Wow, I got nothing to add. 

 

16:21 – Kayla (None)

That’s powerful. A little game of high and low. 

 

16:26 – Brian (None)

Is this how to reveal my weight at its highest? If it is, I’m out. This is going to be the shortest podcast we’ve ever done. I am not. No, you know, at the county fair, when you’re walking up and there’s that guy barking, hey, step up here. You know, I will guess your weight and if I’m wrong you get a stuffed animal. 

 

16:43 – Kayla (None)

No, that’s not this kind of high low. Okay, wrong, you get a. No, that’s not this kind of high low. Okay, you’ve either had too much caffeine today? 

 

16:49 – Brian (None)

no, but yeah, I tried that, I actually tried that, and that guy said no, no, no, no, don’t you walk up here, but that’s a whole, stop it. So anyway, highs and lows highs and lows. 

 

16:57 – Kayla (None)

I will start okay a high our first date through our wedding. I have some amazing core memories of dating and getting to know you and our whole time together, of learning about each other, sharing our life in the early days. 

 

17:19 – Brian (None)

You’ve thrown away my pink blanket. 

 

17:20 – Kayla (None)

We’ve already had this conversation. I should write that down. That’s not a high. 

 

17:24 – Brian (None)

That’s a low pink blanket. Go ahead. 

 

17:27 – Kayla (None)

I’m’m gonna have a low for you here in a minute. Let’s go ahead are you done? 

 

17:33 – Brian (None)

I’m done. 

 

17:34 – Kayla (None)

I apologize a low the day we found out that we couldn’t have children. What was a high for you, oh? 

 

17:43 – Brian (None)

you’re getting me emotional. Uh, the first time I saw you walking in the office and you’re sitting behind that desk and I’ve told this story a million times I just I was smitten, I was gone. I actually walked back to my friend’s office One of my best friends stand and went in his office, shut the door, said I have to kiss that girl or else I will die. I was smitten, done. 

 

18:07 – Kayla (None)

I mean, I had it was a while before we got there, but we got there, yeah. 

 

18:11 – Brian (None)

Well, I didn’t want to get sued. Um hello for me was waiting on your cancer results. When you had that breast cancer scare, I was uh it was a hard season. Oh, because I couldn’t imagine life without you, yeah, and having and you hurting, because I want to do everything I can to keep you from pain. That was a low. 

 

18:34 – Kayla (None)

Yeah, it was tough. A high Mm-hmm Our very first trip to Disney. We fell in love with Disney World. You looked at me. 

 

18:43 – Brian (None)

I’ll never forget this. We’re at that castle. You looked at me, baby, thank you for bringing me to the castle. I’ll never, as long as you were such a little girl. And the second, let me say this. And then seeing you meet Winnie the Pooh, oh my gosh, yeah, you squealed like a little eight-year-old. You were just it’s Winnie the Pooh, it’s Winnie the Pooh. 

 

19:06 – Kayla (None)

Hello, the year the pandemic hit, disney closed the week we were due to visit and then we were not able to get back to Disney World for four years. It was about four years, yeah. 

 

19:23 – Brian (None)

Well, we’re back now, baby. We are back, hi, taking you to see the Kingsman for the first time. 

 

19:30 – Kayla (None)

That was an experience. 

 

19:31 – Brian (None)

That was an experience. 

 

19:32 – Kayla (None)

One of my favorite. I did not grow up with gospel music. You had no idea. 

 

19:37 – Brian (None)

And then along that same train, there was a singer in the Kingsman for years, his name was Jim Hamill and going to his funeral. 

 

19:47 – Kayla (None)

Was a low. That was a low for years, his name was Jim Hamill, and going to his funeral Was a low. That was a low for me. A high for me was the day we bought our first home in Virginia. I thought the same thing we had lived here for a year and a low was leaving the friends who were family to us in New. Orleans, that was tough we left a church and a friend network that honestly, I don’t think we realized how good we had it until we left. 

 

20:12 – Brian (None)

It was incredible. 

 

20:14 – Kayla (None)

And that’s true of all of us. You don’t realize, we didn’t know a soul. Yeah, but we did not realize how close-knit our life was until we got here. 

 

20:25 – Brian (None)

I was buying our home. Yeah, I remember sitting in that that I guess as a lawyer’s office and I bet you I signed 85 I had no idea what I signed I know we could have signed away for all we know that said here, sir, you can sign this. Here, sir, you can. A low is when something breaks and I can’t fix it. That’s a low for me, because I it, and yet god always brings the right person. 

 

20:47 – Kayla (None)

I know it. 

 

20:48 – Brian (None)

But I should be able to do that. But I’d rather read a book than learn how to use a tool. 

 

20:53 – Kayla (None)

Well, that’s fine. There are people who love tools. 

 

20:56 – Brian (None)

So there we go. 

 

20:57 – Kayla (None)

A high for me was your first book launch. I was so proud of you. The very month that your book launched they set up a book tour and the week of your first book tour event we lost Sprocket. I remember that, and we had to walk into this season of going around talking about your book meeting people Smiling, shaking hands. And on the inside, we were just crumbling crushed because we had just said goodbye to sprocket yeah that was our baby he was our pup so a high is disney with you and a low is just anywhere without you. 

 

21:41 – Brian (None)

no, it’s true. I mean I I don’t enjoy being away from you, I don’t like it. But a high for me is going to Disney, even if it’s the 100th time Watching you walk through that English village. At Epcot, you’re just on cloud nine, you’re just good, and that’s me watching you in Star Wars. 

 

22:01 – Kayla (None)

Yeah, oh, I’m so excited it’s going to be a little while it’s going to be a little while before we get to go back. So there are some highs and lows as we embark on our I guess our 32nd year. 

 

22:13 – Brian (None)

Wow, they said we’d never make it. They did not. There’s some of them. Well, here we are, here we are. We showed them, didn’t? 

 

22:20 – Kayla (None)

we, who are they? 

 

22:22 – Brian (None)

Well, I’ll tell you some names after the podcast is over. Okay, so? 

 

22:26 – Kayla (None)

So we have a question, oh, and this one’s going to. It’s going to require a little thought, okay, but if you go to our website and if you answer this question correctly, you will win a Peas and Carrots coffee mug and some stickers. 

 

22:40 – Brian (None)

Just like Karen from Christiansburg won this past week. Oh, she sure did. She sure did. Karen from Christiansburg picked herself up a coffee mug, a pen, a notepad and some Cute little stickers that Miss Kayla loves. 

 

22:55 – Kayla (None)

So this week’s question if you go to our website peasandcarrotspodcastcom, look for the trivia button and you click that and you answer this question. What is a high low for you? Share with us a high low. 

 

23:11 – Brian (None)

And we can share some of those on the podcast. 

 

23:13 – Kayla (None)

We could. It would be really great to do that. 

 

23:15 – Brian (None)

So hey, go to our website peasandcarrotspodcastcom. Click on the trivia button to answer this question. 

 

23:21 – Kayla (None)

What is a high low for you? 

 

23:23 – Brian (None)

And when you answer that you’ll get yourself a coffee mug, a pen, a notepad and some cute little stickers. 

 

23:30 – Kayla (None)

And we would ask you to do one other thing Please go to our Peas and Carrots Facebook or Instagram page and tag a picture of yourself drinking coffee or tea, or whatever. We’d love for you to do that and share it with us. 

 

23:50 – Brian (None)

You can find us on Instagram and Facebook. You sure can Just look up Peas and Carrots Podcast. Hey, thanks for listening, and you can search the Peas and Carrots Podcast wherever you get your podcasts or visit our website peasandcarrotspodcastcom. 

 

24:03 – Kayla (None)

When you do, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast. 

 

24:06 – Brian (None)

And hey, just like we said, please go follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast. 

 

24:12 – Announcer (None)

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcastcom. Growing through the challenges we face and finding hope along the way. That’s the Jesus Fix it podcast with Jess. Check out jesusfixitcom or search Jesus Fix it wherever you listen to podcasts. 

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Season 3, Episode 23: May We (Re)Introduce Ourselves!

Can We Talk?
May We (Re)Introduce Ourselves! - Episode Description

Join us for a lively and heartwarming episode of the Peas and Carrots Podcast, where we share an overview of our bustling July schedule filled with church picnics, summer camps, Bible studies, and baseball games. We have some light-hearted moments to share, like Kayla’s undeniable love for ballpark snacks and a late-night ice cream run that ended in an amusing encounter. We’ll also touch on our bedtime routines and the challenges of sticking to them during summer’s extended daylight. For our new listeners, we’ll recount our 31-year marriage, our work in ministry with Positive Alternative Radio, and the serendipitous way we met in New Orleans, complete with Brian’s unforgettable first impression of Kayla.

Next, we take a heartfelt look at the keys to success in our marriage, discussing the profound ways our faith and love for the Lord shape our relationship. We emphasize the importance of being “all in” on friendships, work, and life itself. From our different approaches to planning and spontaneity to our shared magnetism for unusual stories, we reflect on the quirks that make us unique. Foundational principles like making Jesus the center, dying to ourselves daily, and understanding each other’s love languages are highlighted, along with the significance of communication and never-ending dates to keep our relationship vibrant and cherished.

Finally, we engage in a playful game of “This or That,” exploring our preferences and quirks that have developed over 31 years together. From choosing swimming pools over oceans to debating cake versus pie, this conversation highlights the comfort and simplicity found in long-term relationships.

May We (Re)Introduce Ourselves! - Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 

 

0:00:11 – Brian

Welcome to the peas and carrots podcast. Hi, I’m Brian, I’m Kayla, and Welcome to our little piece of the vegetable patch. I guess that’s how you say, it isn’t it? That is us, that’s us, mm-hmm. So what’s up in our world?

 

0:00:25 – Kayla

 July is busy. 

 

0:00:29 – Brian

Well, we got a church picnic. I’m cooking there, by the way. We got summer camp, which is a work event. We have a trip for that. 

 

0:00:39 – Kayla

Yeah, that’ll be a week. We’ve got various Bible studies we’re going to be part of. We have a ball game that we’re going to with our church family baseball. 

 

0:00:49 – Brian

We have other work trips. Let’s pause here. 

 

0:00:52 – Kayla

Miss Kayla doesn’t go to the ball game for the ball game now I do watch the game, but yes, I’m all about the snacks. I ain’t going to apologize. Cotton candy, maybe a little. 

 

0:01:06 – Brian

Nachos. 

 

0:01:07 – Kayla

Nachos and cheese. 

 

0:01:09 – Brian

Peanuts. 

 

0:01:10 – Kayla

No, I don’t do peanuts anymore because of your allergy. 

 

0:01:12 – Brian

Oh, I appreciate it. We all thank you. I thank you for that. You’re welcome. I don’t want to die If I ever get peanuts, it’s. 

 

0:01:18 – Kayla

you know I’m trying to bump you off, so so so if the hot dogs look good, I might have to. No, I’ll be. I’ll be better than I am usually, because you know whole healthy lifestyle thing we’re doing caramel, if they have caramel corn oh, forget it, it’s on you love caramel. I do don’t say yeah, okay, yeah, it’s a really fun, but busy month. 

 

0:01:42 – Brian

we have a lot of stuff going on, so does anybody find yourself? 

 

0:01:50 – Kayla

staying up a little bit later. I struggle with this because it’s summer and so it doesn’t get dark till what? 9:15? But there’s a spoiler what time do I? 

 

0:02:02 – Brian

like to go to bed 8.30 to 9. Yeah, but then we’ll lay there sharing reels till 10.30. Am I wrong or wrong. 

 

0:02:10 – Kayla

No, not usually that late. If we’ve got to be up at 5 the next morning, some nights we will share reels with each other for about 30 minutes. But yeah, You’re the worst. I wake up every morning to like 10 reels from you. 

 

0:02:26 – Brian

Well, I try to let you go to sleep. Thank you, you do so. Yeah, I have that CPAP. 

 

0:02:30 – Kayla

So, B, we’re going to tell on ourselves. There was a night last week that we did stay up later than we should have, and it kind of got us in trouble with Chick-fil-A. What did we do? 

 

0:02:41 – Brian

We told each other OK, we’re going to sneak over there, we’re going to get it’s five minutes from our house. We’re going to sneak over there, we’re going to get us an ice cream cone and we’ll get back home. This was the night of the debate and we said you know what, we’ll be back in time to watch the debate. And we both said we’re not going to tell anybody about this, it’s going to be our little secret, because we turned over a new leaf, you know we’ve been doing really well. 

 

0:03:08 – Kayla

We just decided we were going to splurge, but we didn’t want to have to fess up to this. But God checked us, as he always does. 

 

0:03:14 – Brian

Chick-fil-A drive-thru paid for it and we get up to where you collect your food, and so I hear Mr. Sanders turned, and it’s one of the youth from our church. 

 

0:03:27 – Kayla

Of course it is. 

 

0:03:28 – Brian

And so. 

 

0:03:32 – Kayla

He hands us our ice cream. 

 

0:03:32 – Brian

So we’re busted, just busted, so we couldn’t get away with that one, but the ice cream was really good. And it’s allergen free for me. Yeah, so I try to avoid there, but that night it was. 

 

0:03:46 – Kayla

Now I want ice cream. 

 

0:03:47 – Brian

Well, anything my darling wants, my darling gets. 

 

0:03:54 – Kayla

May we reintroduce ourselves. 

 

0:03:56 – Brian

Yes, we have a lot of new listeners to the podcast. We do so. I’m Brian, I’m Kayla, we’ve been married going on. 

 

0:04:05 – Kayla

It will be 31 years in August. Yeah. 

 

0:04:08 – Brian

We’re both believers in Jesus. We are conservative Presbyterians. I’d like to say that we both work in ministry. 

 

0:04:18 – Kayla

We do. We work with Positive Alternative Radio and it has five sister stations and we do also have an app that people can listen to, but we are located in Blacksburg. We have stations in Kentucky, Tennessee, North Carolina, Virginia, but we are here. The hub is here in Blacksburg, Virginia, which is where our offices are. Hub is here in Blacksburg, Virginia, which is where our offices are. You are our executive vice president, I am our vice president for partner service. Yeah, for donor care. So how did we meet? 

 

0:04:56 – Brian

Oh gosh, I was serving at the Christian radio station in New Orleans, WBSN Life Songs, and our office manager went on maternity leave, and so you came in for the summer. I did, and took her role for the summer. 

 

0:05:14 – Kayla

And my parents purchased your boss’s trailer on campus. 

 

0:05:19 – Brian

So, and I remember walking in and I saw you the first time and I skipped, I didn’t even say hi to you, I just walked right past you Not even a. 

 

0:05:28 – Kayla

who are you? 

 

0:05:29 – Brian

Nope, I walked right past. You went back to my friend’s office, Stan, and I told him I have to kiss that girl or I will die. I found you were just that beautiful, and still are. 

 

0:05:43 – Kayla

No. 

 

0:05:45 – Brian

So that’s how we met. 

 

0:05:46 – Kayla

We spent the whole summer getting to know each other. You were a very curious person. 

 

0:05:50 – Brian

And you flirted, I did flirt with you. All throughout the summer. Yes, asked her out various times, three times. What did you tell me each time? 

 

0:05:57 – Kayla

No, because my grandma said do not date your boss. 

 

0:06:02 – Brian

But you flirted with me the whole time. Do not date your boss, but you flirted with me the whole time. 

 

0:06:06 – Kayla

I did, but it was a great summer, and then we did end up having our first date after I went back to college. You know, each couple has to decide this for themselves. We met in June, we started dating in September, we got engaged in December and we have been together for, like we said, nearly 31 years. 

 

0:06:26 – Brian

Got married in August. 

 

0:06:28 – Kayla

We have spent. 11 of those years we lived in New Orleans, Louisiana, and the last 20 years we have been here in Virginia. 

 

0:06:38 – Brian

We were never able to have children, no, but we did have— A very, very, very spooled dog we did. His name was Sprocket. We had him. For what? Very, very spool dog? We did, his name was Sprocket. 

 

0:06:46 – Kayla

We had him for what? 14 and a half years we did at 13. 

 

0:06:51 – Brian

And 13, 14, I don’t know. He was with us a long time and it wasn’t long enough, but he was the world’s greatest pup. 

 

0:06:59 – Kayla

He really was. He had the quirkiest personality. 

 

0:07:03 – Brian

Love him, yeah Still do so, Miss Sanders, how would you describe me? 

 

0:07:10 – Kayla

How would I describe me? You have a heart the size of Texas. Your love for the Lord is undeniable. Anyone who meets you knows that you have a passion for exploring and understanding Scripture and getting to know God more deeply. You are all in. You’re all in on friendships. You’re all in on your work. You live out loud. You love life. You are exuberant, you are charming, you are generous. You’re one of the most hilarious people I’ve ever had the privilege of doing life with. Um. You’re a magnet for crazy. True, we share stories on here all the time of strange things that happen. It just seems to find you. I just show up. You are an incredible storyteller and you make others feel at ease. I find it amazing the way when we are with new people, you help them to feel instantly comfortable. You also have never left me wondering if I am cherished by you. Since day one, I have known where I stand with B. 

 

0:08:31 – Brian

How would I describe you? Beautiful? You’re more beautiful today than you were the day I married you. 

 

0:08:38 – Kayla

Whatever, I’m not even sure I come out of my hair today. 

 

0:08:41 – Brian

See, I didn’t say a word the whole time she said all of it. I didn’t say a word. 

 

0:08:46 – Kayla

Even though I disagree with most of it. 

 

0:08:50 – Brian

You are more beautiful today than the day that I married you. You are kind, you are patient, you are full of grace, you are stately, you are proper. 

 

0:09:03 – Kayla

I’m British. 

 

0:09:05 – Brian

She’s British. 

 

0:09:05 – Kayla

We have to be proper. 

 

0:09:07 – Brian

She is, she’s proper. You love Jesus, your faith. I’m jealous of your faith because you just believing and you just trusting and I can’t do that. You are a planner. You like for things A, b, c, d, e, f, g. You like that. I’m like, well, we’ll go to A, then we’ll bop over to Z, then we’ll come back to D. No, I mean so, but you’re a planner and I love that. You make me a better man and you make me want to know Jesus more, want to know Jesus more. You create a beautiful home where we are comfortable or things are at ease. When you enter a room, peace enters the room. So I thank God every day that he brought you into my life. 

 

0:09:58 – Kayla

No, what would you say? 

 

0:10:00 – Brian

Stop right there. Do you believe any of what I just said? 

 

0:10:03 – Kayla

Me I told you. What are the golden rules of our marriage? 

 

0:10:10 – Brian

Well. 

 

0:10:11 – Kayla

We have a few. We have a few things that these are the things that are sacred to us. 

 

0:10:15 – Brian

We strive daily to make Jesus the center of our relationship. We do devos, we usually discuss the devos with each other, and we try to live that out. When I say making Jesus the center of our relationship, what I mean by that? Well, I’ll say the first one we try to die to ourselves daily. In other words, I want to make much of you and I see you trying to make much of me. So it’s a little bit of a contest some days to see who can make the most of each other. 

 

0:10:48 – Kayla

But if you are always about what you can get out of a relationship, it’s going to be very contentious and it’s going to be a harder road because you’re going to live in a place where you’re constantly disappointed. If it’s all about taking rather than giving We’ve said this we acknowledge what makes the other person feel cherished. Early in our marriage, we had the privilege of going to a conference that was put on by Gary Smalley. 

 

0:11:19 – Brian

We had lunch with him that day we did. 

 

0:11:21 – Kayla

It was the five love languages, and we learned that your love languages are words of affirmation and physical touch, mine are acts of service and quality time, and we kind of blend on that one. The more we’ve been together, you’re more about quality time as well. 

 

0:11:42 – Brian

I like being with you. 

 

0:11:43 – Kayla

So it’s important to us that we acknowledge those in each other Y’all. If he wants to make me feel adored, take the trash out. That’s all I need, and you do it all the time, so yeah. 

 

0:11:55 – Brian

Now the difference is I think you can put more in it than she does. Let’s just say that. We’ll leave that there um okay, um, sorry, we communicate and we talk a lot, yeah, so we talk in the morning, we talk during the day, we talk at night, we talk when we go to bed. We talk about everything now I will say there are. There are no secrets no, there are no secrets here. We just try to put everything on the table. Now I’ll say this she is more of the talker than I am. 

 

0:12:28 – Kayla

I’m a verbal processor, I’m not. Yeah, and you’re very good at enduring that, because I know there are times when I don’t endure that. 

 

Well, there are times when I really need to sit with something and I need to talk it through, and you are incredibly patient with that. I can tell when there is something bothering you. Sometimes I have to give you time before I smoke it out. You need to sit with things. I can tell when it’s time to say, okay, spill it. But the thing that makes me concerned for marriages is when people say, well, we’re too busy to communicate. 

 

0:13:02 – Brian

You’re not. That’s a danger sign. 

 

0:13:04 – Kayla

That’s a danger sign. That’s a red flag. Never stop dating. 

 

0:13:11 – Brian

We just had a lunch date yeah, we just went down to a little place and had shrimp tacos. 

 

0:13:14 – Kayla

They were amazing. Yeah, they were great. You have to make time for each other. 

 

0:13:18 – Brian

And we talked there. We were talking about our next vacation, we were talking about what I did this morning and some of the plans that I’m trying to get through that kind of stuff. So we do that. Let me go back to the whole thing about communication. My brain works that like. I will think something through and then I’m done with it and I’ll put it aside. What I’ve had to learn is I need to keep some kind of a checklist in my head that when we talk, I can share all that stuff with you. 

 

0:13:48 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:13:48 – Brian

Because we process stuff differently. Like you said, you’re a verbal processor. Yeah, I’m not. 

 

0:13:55 – Kayla

You’ve already worked it out and moved on. 

 

0:13:56 – Brian

I’ve already worked it out and moved on. 

 

0:13:57 – Kayla

Yeah, but you realize I may need to know that piece of the puzzle Correct so that I have a glimpse into your life. Yes, this one is a big deal. Protect each other and what you have, and I want to explain this just a little bit. There’s several ways to do this. I am always going to be B’s biggest cheerleader. I’m going to be the one that speaks positively of him to others and I’m encouraging him and cheering him. On. Another way that this kind of falls out we practice firm boundaries with others and that looks like we do not have friendships. I don’t have friendships with guys. You don’t have friendships with females. 

 

0:14:44 – Brian

Some people say that’s old school. I just find that it protects the marriage and it protects purity. 

 

0:14:49 – Kayla

Now we will have friendships together that are other couple.

 

0:14:53 – Brian

Yeah, we’ll go out as a couple. 

 

0:14:55 – Kayla

We don’t make a habit of you texting other women. Now let me clarify this because you do have to in your work. But if it’s a side relationship and someone is texting you, I’ll actually show you the text I’m going to get copied in on the response. 

 

0:15:11 – Brian

I’ll usually loop you in on that text thread, that kind of stuff. 

 

0:15:14 – Kayla

But we’ve had situations where people have asked things as simple as could you give me a ride to the airport? 

 

0:15:20 – Brian

No, no, sorry, I can’t, I’m not doing that. No, no, Sorry, I can’t, I’m not doing that. 

 

0:15:23 – Kayla

You know, we just be careful what limits you don’t put on your relationship that leave you kind of open and exposed to any potential. So yeah, that’s us. We’re not saying these are the rules that have to work for every marriage, but this is how we have been able to thrive. 

 

0:15:46 – Brian

And that’s what I want to say. I’ve never gotten bored with you. I still find you interesting. I still find how you respond to things fascinating. 

 

0:15:56 – Kayla

You still surprise me. I’m still learning things about you. I mean, at Disney, I just learned that you’re scared of heights. I never knew that. I mean we Disney, I just learned that you’re scared of heights. I never knew that. I mean we’ve been together, for we’ve known each other for 32 years.

 

0:16:09 – Brian

I’m not necessarily scared of heights. I’m scared on a certain ride that makes you feel like you’re 80,000 feet in the air. Now, if I was sitting on the ground I’d be fine with that, but this ride it actually elevates you off the ground and it tilts you. I can’t handle that. Okay, I can’t. I can’t handle. But see, I’m fine in an airplane. For some reason my mind says my feet are on the ground, it’s on the plane, but there you go. 

 

0:16:37 – Kayla

Yeah, I’m not agreeing with you on that one. 

 

0:16:38 – Brian

I wish that they’d give us each like a little bouncy suit, like on the plane. Oh, my gosh so you’d hit and it’d blow up and it’d bounce off Well after the plane rides I’ve heard about this week we might need one. 

 

0:16:47 – Kayla

There you go. I will say this the beauty of 31-ish years, and we’ll spend a future podcast on this. 

 

0:16:54 – Brian

there is a comfortable silence at times we talked about this the other night how we seem to hit a good rhythm. 

 

0:17:02 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:17:03 – Brian

That we do the day to day. 

 

0:17:04 – Kayla

Well, we talk and and it’s not always about the big showy moment. Sometimes it’s about the simplicity of life. Yeah, so yeah, we’ll come back to that. 

 

0:17:17 – Brian

I love this little game and you always. I never get to choose, you always get to choose. 

 

0:17:23 – Kayla

So the next time we play, no, I will let you choose. 

 

0:17:26 – Brian

My feelings are choose. 

 

0:17:27 – Kayla

You always get to choose, so the next time we play, I will let you choose my feelings are hurt, you’ll recover. You have a million times. 

 

0:17:32 – Brian

The compassion is deep, all right. 

 

0:17:35 – Kayla

This or that. 

 

0:17:35 – Brian

Okay, what’s the first one, ocean or swimming pool? 

 

0:17:39 – Kayla

I am swimming pool all the way. 

 

0:17:44 – Brian

I need to be able to see what’s underneath my feet. I will. Usually I’ll do neither because I’m just not comfortable, but if we’re at the ocean I’ll swim out midway so I can pee. Wow, like I can stand up to my waist. So I mean, nobody knows it’s the ocean. Oh my gosh, them fish pee in there. 

 

0:18:00 – Kayla

Will you do that this summer, knowing that one Like straight over there was a shark attack? 

 

0:18:07 – Brian

this summer. 

 

0:18:08 – Kayla

Will you really? 

 

0:18:10 – Brian

How big’s he got to be to take a bite out of me? Look at me, we’re talking jaws Quit. 

 

0:18:18 – Kayla

So snacks, Sweet or salty. 

 

0:18:23 – Brian

I can’t do sweet so I’m going to have to go with salty. But I’ve been doing like like carrots and little cherry tomatoes and broccoli and cheese, so I don’t think that’s really salty either you oh, I’m sweet all the way brownies, cookies chocolate, all right. 

 

0:18:42 – Kayla

No, you really haven’t regained your stuff, really not every once in a while I have a taste for dark chocolate. 

 

0:18:48 – Brian

Now give this woman a good gummy bear. 

 

0:18:51 – Kayla

Oh, a really good gummy bear, and, yeah, I’m taking it down.

 

0:18:53 – Brian

Yeah, she loves a good gummy bear, introvert or extrovert. 

 

0:18:58 – Kayla

I am an introvert all the way. 

 

0:19:07 – Brian

I am what’s called an ambivert I can be around people, yeah.

 

0:19:09 – Kayla

I love being around people, but after two or three hours you need to recharge. I need to go, get in a corner somewhere, recharge, yeah, and I’ll be fine but when we are in social settings, you are energized, whereas I am just dying on the vine. I just it’s like somebody take me out. 

 

0:19:26 – Brian

Yeah who are all these people and why will they not go home? And then I’m going to be awkward. 

 

0:19:34 – Kayla

I mean just last night, no, I am Be. Just last night at Bible study I realized Kay, just listen, don’t try to say anything because you’re going to step off in it. I just do all the time. It’s who I am, you’re not awkward Spender or saver. 

 

0:19:53 – Brian

I’d say we’re both savers. We are, but if I’m going to buy something, it’s usually your toys are expensive. Yeah, like right now I’m looking at a new backpack that has that’s like you just bought one. Can I explain what I’m looking at? It’s the Star Wars Empire. 

 

0:20:14 – Kayla

Oh God help me. 

 

0:20:16 – Brian

OK. 

 

0:20:16 – Kayla

OK, ok, drive or fly. 

 

0:20:22 – Brian

Based on that reaction, you know, I guess I’m probably not coming to my house. Go ahead, We’ll pray about it. You see that guess I’m probably not coming to my house. Go ahead. 

 

0:20:31 – Kayla

We’ll pray about it. You see, that’s a no. What is it a good, What is it a good mom always says Maybe, so yeah, okay, back to the questions. Drive or fly. 

 

0:20:42 – Brian

I’ll fly In a heartbeat, in a heartbeat, if it’s seven hours or under. 

 

0:20:48 – Kayla

I’m all about driving. 

 

0:20:50 – Brian

If it was 45 minutes, I’d fly. I hate Really. I would I mean, if I could have a private helicopter. 

 

0:20:56 – Kayla

No see, that’s on those little bitty planes. What? 

 

0:20:59 – Brian

if you had a private With like a two-seater? What if you had a private helicopter? No I don’t think I’d be down in a heartbeat, summer or winter summer, all the way. I’m gonna do spring and fall, even though it’s not a choice no, I’m gonna make you choose summer or winter probably summer. I can’t endure the cold, the cold is just too much now but I do agree with you. 

 

0:21:23 – Kayla

I’m a huge fan of spring and fall, but summer I can find ways to to cool down. I just my teeth stay clenched in the winter because it’s so cold. I can morning person or night out you can’t take enough clothes off to get cool okay, I didn’t see that coming oh, do what we should definitely move on Morning person or night owl. 

 

0:21:48 – Brian

Morning. You used to be a night owl. 

 

0:21:51 – Kayla

I used to be a night owl. 

 

0:21:54 – Brian

I think since joining the gym, the gym’s kicked you high. 

 

0:21:57 – Kayla

It’s kicked my tail into being, I will say this there is something amazing about the peace of the early morning. I totally grasp. Now new morning mercies, because watching the sun come up, watching a day restart, it’s quiet, it’s peaceful, until someone starts telling Lincoln stories. You’ve gotten better. 

 

0:22:21 – Brian

If you’re new to the podcast, I love Abraham Lincoln. He’s a hero. I wrote a book Leadership Endurance. About a third of it is about Abraham Lincoln. You can find it on Amazon. 

 

0:22:31 – Kayla

And it’s a great book and you have great stories. 

 

0:22:35 – Brian

But you just don’t want to hear them at 5. 

 

0:22:36 – Kayla

I just don’t want to hear them at 5 o’clock in the morning. Why that’s a new morning mercy for you, because it’s 5 o’clock in the morning. 

 

0:22:42 – Brian

All right Cake or pie Cake all the way. 

 

0:22:46 – Kayla

I can’t do either, but if I could I’m going to choose, I would say this would be my guess, cake with a little bit of milk. 

 

0:22:55 – Brian

I’d put a piece of cake in the bowl and pour milk over it. Yep. So steak or shrimp, both you got to choose one. 

 

0:23:07 – Kayla

I’ll choose steak. I’m going to oh, really, okay. Well, it depends on who’s cooking the shrimp. 

 

0:23:16 – Brian

I don’t want to die that’s not on this piece of paper. Right here it says steak or shrimp you’re a little sassy, aren’t you? 

 

0:23:23 – Kayla

I saw that. Look, Disney or universal, there’s no contest Disney, Disney, all the way universal. We have some friends who they prefer universal studios and they’re. 

 

0:23:27 – Brian

I saw that Look Disney or Universal, there’s no contest. 

 

0:23:29 – Kayla

Disney, Disney, all the way. Universal doesn’t even we have some friends who they prefer Universal. 

 

0:23:32 – Brian

Studios and they’re wrong. Oh snap, I mean they don’t have. There’s Mickey and Minnie and Donald and Daisy. Our preference is Disney World, if you’re a Christian, you go Disney World. 

 

0:23:45 – Kayla

Okay, that escalated quickly, so there we go. That’s this edition of this, or that. Do you have some others that you would like to add? 

 

0:23:55 – Brian

So which Disney park? Epcot all the way. Hollywood Studios. Yeah so what’s that? Ice cream or yogurt? Oh, ice cream, yeah cream. Yeah that’s up the Lord. Pork chop. Or ribs, oh, pork chop Really. You’re not a rib fan are you? 

 

0:24:20 – Kayla

I’m not a huge rib fan. Again, it depends on who cooked them. 

 

0:24:24 – Brian

Here we go. It’s all these little Y’all. It’s the fine print in the contract that gets me. 

 

0:24:30 – Kayla

It has for 31 years. That’s not. 

 

0:24:33 – Brian

There’s no fine print. Hey, thanks for listening to this week’s edition of the podcast, and we’d like to send you a peas and carrots mug, a peas and carrots pen, a notepad and some Some stickers. No, what do you call them? Cute little stickers, cute little stickers. 

 

0:24:49 – Kayla

No what do you call them Cute little stickers? I’m sorry, though. The notepad is really cute too. It has little checkboxes where you can make your list, and it’s like a Post-it note. Each of the little sheets come off so they will stick to your refrigerator or wherever you need them to. Yeah, I’m in love. 

 

0:25:07 – Brian

I got tickled last week Adam Reed, who’s my executive assistant and one of my best friends in the world, because whenever y’all win something, he sends it out. He says, B, can I have some of these notepads? 

 

0:25:19 – Kayla

You’re the one that ships them. You don’t have to ask. 

 

0:25:23 – Brian

Oh, so you’ve got a thousand of them in your garage. Take as many as you want. 

 

0:25:27 – Kayla

So if you would like to have your own cute little stickers and notepad, the first couple of people or more I mean, we’ve not really held to this, honestly but the first few people that go to our website answer the question correctly and you will win all of the above. Our website is peasandcarrotspodcast.com. 

 

0:25:47 – Brian

When you get there, you can go to peasandcarrotspodcast.com. When you get there, you can go to peasandcarrotspodcast.com. When you get there, click on the trivia button and this week’s question. 

 

0:25:57 – Kayla

Are you a morning person or a night owl? All right. 

 

0:26:01 – Brian

So you’re a morning person or night owl? Go to peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Answer that question. 

 

0:26:06 – Kayla

You can search the Peas and Carrots podcast wherever you get your podcasts, or visit our website. Again, that is peasandcarrotspodcast.com. When you do, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast. 

 

0:26:17 – Brian

You can also follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Just search for the Peas and Carrots podcast. You know how the weatherman says there’s like a 60% chance of rain or a 40% chance of rain. 

 

0:26:28 – Kayla

Okay. 

 

0:26:29 – Brian

What’s the percentage chance of getting a Chick-fil-A ice cream today? 

 

0:26:33 – Kayla

Oh, probably 100. Okay, all right. There you go.

 

0:26:35 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Growing through the challenges we face and finding hope along the way. That’s the Jesus Fix It Podcast with Jess. Check out jesusfixit.com or search Jesus Fix It wherever you listen to podcasts.

 

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Season 3, Episode 17: It’s A Trap

Can We Talk?
It's A Trap - Episode Description

In the Peas and Carrots Podcast episode titled “Embracing Life’s Journey: From Cabo Fish Taco to Summer Adventures,” hosts Brian and Kayla Sanders share their experiences and insights on living a meaningful life. They discuss the importance of embracing your unique path without falling into the trap of comparing your journey to others.

From delighting in a newfound favorite restaurant to funny incidents that remind them of the aging process, they offer a heartwarming and humorous take on life’s adventures and the significance of companionship. The episode also delves into navigating life as a couple with differing habits and preferences, preparing for the summer season, and staying connected with friends.

It's A Trap - Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 

 

0:00:11 – Kayla

Welcome to the peas and carrots podcast. I’m Brian and. 

 

0:00:14 – Brian

I’m Kayla. Welcome to our piece of the vegetable patch. Mm-hmm, we haven’t had any insecticide put on a shift this season. 

 

0:00:23 – Kayla

Gee boy I’m running a little bit late this morning, y’all I just put on my headphones. 

 

0:00:30 – Brian

I’ve been at the dealership dealing with taking care of my car. 

 

0:00:35 – Kayla

I appreciate that. So the semester has officially ended. We had our last home group yesterday evening. We transitioned to our summer schedule at work today. 

 

0:00:46 – Brian

We had barbecue last night and a little veggie salad, which was wonderful. 

 

0:00:51 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:00:52 – Brian

Mozzarella and tomatoes and cucumbers. It was wonderful. 

 

0:00:55 – Kayla

Lots of laughs and fun times. 

 

0:00:57 – Brian

It was good times, little baby. 

 

0:00:59 – Kayla

Joanna was there. 

 

0:01:03 – Brian

Who makes everybody happy? 

 

0:01:05 – Kayla

Yes, she does, and I was nice last night I let I let other people snuggle her. 

 

0:01:10 – Brian

Did you get to snuggle? 

 

0:01:11 – Kayla

No, but that’s OK. 

 

0:01:14 – Brian

OK, I can deal. 

 

0:01:16 – Kayla

I will next time. 

 

0:01:17 – Brian

OK. 

 

0:01:19 – Kayla

We’ve lived here 20 years. 

 

0:01:20 – Brian

What is something new that? 

 

0:01:21 – Kayla

we did this week be for the first. I mean, it’s not a new restaurant, but where did we go this week? 

 

0:01:29 – Brian

A restaurant, yes, called Cabo Fish Taco, and I am in love with this place. 

 

0:01:36 – Kayla

Now confess what’s been your thoughts about it for 20 years, until. 

 

0:01:41 – Brian

Who would eat a fish taco? You loved it. Oh, they did this thing called a Baja Bowl. It had grilled shrimp, rice, black beans and some veggies. 

 

0:01:53 – Kayla

But the ambiance of the restaurant reminded us of where. 

 

0:01:57 – Brian

New. 

 

0:01:57 – Kayla

Orleans yeah. 

 

0:01:58 – Brian

It was great. 

 

0:01:59 – Kayla

So we’ll be going back. 

 

0:02:01 – Brian

It even smelled like New Orleans a little bit it did yeah. Not that that’s an endearing smell, but it smelled like New Orleans a little bit, so I enjoyed it was great we got to visit with some of our dearest friends, yep, so mine and mike’s reason for existence is to put you and Wanda together. That’s the reason why we my bestie, so yeah, we went to a. We went to Harrisonburg. There’s a great pizza place there in downtown. I can’t remember the name Bella Luna. Bella Luna, yeah. 

 

0:02:30 – Kayla

If you are ever there, it’s what do they call it? Wood-fired pizza. It’s wonderful. 

 

0:02:37 – Brian

And I can get one that’s allergen-free and it’s great. 

 

0:02:40 – Kayla

But we had a great day with them and got to catch up after fundraising season, so yeah, I think we were the loudest people in Barnes and Noble, I think we were, but that’s okay. We sat in the cafe. Sorry, not sorry. So yeah, it was fun. 

 

0:02:53 – Brian

So we were at a restaurant last weekend. 

 

0:02:57 – Kayla

Not Cabo, and we won’t say where. 

 

0:03:00 – Brian

Okay, and we’d finished our meal. Waitress comes up to bring us the ticket. She slicked at both of us and said do y’all have an AARP discount? 

 

0:03:29 – Kayla

And your reaction. You didn’t say anything to her, but your eyes got as big as saucers and your jaw hit the table a little bit. She could not see my face, but yes, I’m still recovering. But yeah, I mean you don’t look a day over 29, but it’s oh come on, but it’s my beard, it’s my goatee, that and my gray hair and yeah, but anyway, beautiful, I’m healing from that. It’s my goatee and my gray hair. Yeah, but anyway, beautiful, I’m healing from that. 

 

0:03:49 – Brian

But I got to be honest. It’s the first time ever we’ve been asked. 

 

0:03:54 – Kayla

And I hope it’s the last time ever. It’s the first time we’ve ever been asked. 

 

0:03:58 – Brian

Do y’all have an AARP discount? I have to say so. Here’s where we are. 

 

0:04:05 – Kayla

So I was visiting with a friend the other day and she made a comment about the stage of life that she’s in and how hard it is not to compare herself to others in the same stage and feeling like maybe she’s not getting it right or she’s coming up short, and it led me to think about an ongoing topic that we all have with ourselves, which is the trap of comparison. 

 

0:04:35 – Brian

I do this all. 

 

0:04:36 – Kayla

We all do it, and so here’s a few gentle reminders for all of us, our first one being this their journey is not your journey. At our gym, each of us has our own fitness plan and it’s catered to what our goals are and what our needs are and, honestly, what my capabilities are. But it’s easy for me to fall prey to feeling inferior to others in that gym who are doing things that would probably break bones in my body. But I have to remind myself you have goals. You have a plan crafted by your trainer, which is what’s safe for you, it’s what’s good for you, and just chase hard after that. Don’t get distracted by what other people are able to accomplish or not accomplish. 

 

0:05:26 – Brian

When we joined the gym, I started following our gym on Instagram. It’s called Trouble Wellness, and as soon as I started following them, Instagram starts recommending training videos, and there’s these people on there who have six-pack abs. Well, I don’t even have a one pack ab I mean, I haven’t seen my ab since probably month three of my birth. 

 

Okay, so it just I’m being serious, so I can’t even feel them. But here’s the thing, like those videos, like whenever they come up, first some of them made me uncomfortable, so I’m like you know, I don’t want to see this. So they’re little x. And then, over time, I’m like I have to check myself because I can’t compare myself to this you’re not meant to. 

 

0:06:16 – Kayla

Yeah, you know, but it is. I mean we all do it follow. 

 

0:06:19 – Brian

You know I need to watch videos of people my age, my size trying to work out and die. That that’s what I need. 

 

0:06:25 – Kayla

Just today I was rowing and a guy came and sat down next to me and was rowing and I realized do not try to keep his pace. He’s like six foot five and he’s a dude. 

 

0:06:39 – Brian

So I had to tell myself your pace is what you’re meant to do, so yeah, Also, early in our marriage, we made a big decision and a series of decisions, and one of those is this we’re not going to keep up with others. Nope, we’re going to do life our way, yep, on our pace, yep, and just do things like that. Because I would love to collect antique books. I would love to do that, but in the back of my mind there’s a voice that says stuff is fleeting. Now there are some antique books that, like, people have given me that I keep. Well, sure, but stuff is fleeting and I’m not going to pour money, a lot of money, into stuff. That is like fleeting. 

 

0:07:27 – Kayla

We like making memories. 

 

0:07:29 – Brian

So there’s. I think this is a quote from Dave Ramsey. He says live today like no one else. So you can one day live like no one else. 

 

0:07:39 – Kayla

Yeah. And I think now we would like to retire one day. We love our ministry, we love what we do, but we don’t want to work full time until the day we drop, God willing. Our goals are to have enough to just live comfortably when that time comes, not to spend every dime that comes in every month. Another goal of ours was to make sure that we capture experiences, not things. Now, don’t get me wrong. We have nice things in our home. We’re not, you know, living with one set of clothes, and you know one book. 

 

But at the same time we don’t feel the need to. Oh well, this person went here on vacation, so now we have to. Yeah, that doesn’t or they have this kind of house, so now we have to have one. 

 

Or oh, they’re driving this kind of car. So now we have to. We have never. I mean, it’s just not who we are, and I’m good with that. I’m very comfortable with what B and K want out of life, and it’s worthy to sit down with your partner and say what are our goals, what are our dreams, and then let that drive you, not the latest version of whatever. But Ask yourself what season are we in? I’m just going to be really honest. 

 

0:08:59 – Brian

Well, spring has just sprung by us, because right now it’s hot. 

 

0:09:03 – Kayla

We went straight to summer but, I’m referring to a different kind of season. Okay, so right now our home is less than spotless. Our home is great we’re going to talk about that in a little while. Our garden’s kind of disheveled I plan to work on that this weekend, and we have literally not had a meal plan for eight weeks. No joke, give yourself grace for whatever outside factors you are navigating that have you in the season of life that you’re in. Maybe your home isn’t meant to be your priority party. We were working literally 60-hour weeks for six weeks and it was everything we could do to go from start to finish, go home literally wash, rinse, repeat ourselves and the day and today we’re feeling I’m just I mean yeah, we’re, we’re pretty tired but, but in that six the house is still standing. 

 

And it looks great the garden will get done at some point. 

 

0:10:02 – Brian

It’s all going to be fine. 

 

0:10:03 – Kayla

But don’t look around at other people’s day to day and feel like you’ve got to keep up with that. 

 

0:10:11 – Brian

Well, I’m going to say to this is there are times when you just simply have to focus on the task at hand, yeah, and everything else kind of falls to the side, and then, when you complete that task, everything else can come back into view. So I think that’s a healthy perspective. 

 

0:10:28 – Kayla

Yeah, it’s called finding balance where you can, and sometimes that’s what it looks like. A couple of quick hit reminders. You were chosen to do that job. You’re not chosen to do what they’re doing. God called you to the specific job he’s gifted you. You were given that child, or those children. 

 

0:10:48 – Brian

Let’s not waste the energy. They’re your children too. 

 

0:10:51 – Kayla

Let me just go ahead and say, oh my gosh, I probably shouldn’t have said that. Well, that was a little honest, but you didn’t mention names, so I think we’re good, let’s leave it there. Okay, it’s easy to look at how someone else is raising their children, or the work that you feel someone else is doing that’s more impactful, or that maybe their kids just seem more well-rounded, or it could go on and on and on. Or they seem to have their life together and their kid’s on a schedule and yours isn’t, or it doesn’t matter. That’s not what God’s blessed you with. May we never forget what he’s doing in our lives, rather than setting our sights on someone else’s. 

 

0:11:36 – Brian

You need to remember and this is something that I struggle with, but I have some stuff in my iPhone notes that remind me of this is that you are made uniquely in the image of Christ yeah, he didn’t make a carbon copy, and so lean into that, lean into the fact that he chose you before the foundation of the world yeah, lean into the fact that you have value yes, that because you are made in his image. And lean into your talents and abilities and what brings joy, and if you do that, that will lead to some contentment and peace. Yeah, don’t try and find that outside of his purpose for you, outside of his why he’s made you. 

 

0:12:16 – Kayla

Yeah, I have found for myself the more that I lean into who I was created to be in Christ, the less anxiety I have, the more my nervous system settles. The more we are chasing after things that God did not intend for us, the more unsettled we’re going to be, because until we feel right in him, all of those things are just going to wear us out. You were given this one life. Don’t waste it trying to live someone else’s life. 

 

0:12:52 – Brian

But we get so unsatisfied with where we are. 

 

0:12:57 – Kayla

And what is it that Barnabas piper taught us? We are unsatisfied unsatisfiable people. 

 

0:13:01 – Brian

yeah, we are unsatisfiable people. We’re also part of a world economy that generates sales and income. Oh, absolutely, making you unsatisfied with what you have, yep, so that you’ll buy something else? Yeah, I’ll never forget. We spent Christmas with some family one year and they had little ones, and Christmas morning it was a joy. They were just all into it, just all. Well, the next day, December 26th, we all went to the stores and those kids, they just screamed and begged for toys and I’ll never forget that. Their dad said you just got all new toys yesterday and that little one said that was yesterday. I’ve never forgotten that and that’s an indictment of all of our hearts. So, be who you were made to be and lean into who he created you to be. Well, this is going to be fun, as I studied for this. This is him versus her. Can I ask a question? Why did you put him versus her instead of her versus him? 

 

0:14:14 – Kayla

Well, I don’t know. 

 

0:14:15 – Brian

Okay, it just kind of sets me up as being the one against you. 

 

0:14:19 – Kayla

Oh, we’re not against each other, yet, you’ll see. Yet this could end differently. 

 

0:14:24 – Brian

World War III about to happen, all right. 

 

0:14:36 – Kayla

One of yet. This could end differently. 

 

0:14:37 – Brian

World war three about to happen all right, one of us likes details oh my word and one of us drowns in them, maybe? No, I think we have figured out the non-detail person. Yes, I fly at a 30,000-foot view. You fly at a hundred-foot view. 

 

0:14:45 – Kayla

Now that comp and that’s how we complement each other yes, I literally read emails and give you the highlights. 

 

0:14:51 – Brian

Oh, if your email is more than five sentences, Brian Sanders is not going to read it. Truth. Okay, you need to encapsulate that. You send me something for paragraph song. 

 

0:15:01 – Kayla

It’s delete he’s read the first sentence in the last. I hope you got your points across. 

 

0:15:05 – Brian

Yes, but details you are great with like money. You’re great with like budgeting and that kind of stuff and you’ve begged me not to hand that off to you. I mean, that’s yours Now you’ll want to sit down and go over everything. 

 

0:15:20 – Kayla

It’s one of my Christmas gifts Once a year you have to. Let me walk through the annual budget with you. 

 

0:15:24 – Brian

It’s one of my Christmas gifts. 

 

0:15:26 – Kayla

It is have to let me walk through the annual budget with you. It’s one of my Christmas. It is about 10 years ago remember we made this pact that you have to let me walk through the annual plan, because I want to make sure that it’s yours, not just mine okay me, I take a power nap oh, I nap. Like it’s hibernation season. 

 

You go down for like two hours I can’t do these little 10-minute naps. I get the worst headache. Yeah, I just can’t. But you can. You’re like a toddler. You can lay down for 10 minutes and then, boing, you are off and running again. 

 

0:15:58 – Brian

It just amazes me At the same time. Now, if I’m serious about a nap, Now you will go down. But yeah, go down for like five hours but it’s very rare, very rare, yeah. 

 

0:16:09 – Kayla

One of us starts packing two weeks before a trip. Oh, God. There’s piles and one of us packs the night before or the morning of. 

 

0:16:17 – Brian

We’re going to Disney in two weeks. There is a section of stuff already on the dining room table and there’s a section of stuff in one of the guest bedrooms. 

 

0:16:33 – Kayla

Uh-huh already on the dining room table and there’s some section of stuff in one of the guest bedrooms and there’s some section of stuff already on the dresser and the main bedroom maybe we won’t forget anything though well, I don’t understand of what I packed anyway oh, did anybody else feel that comment? 

 

0:16:41 – Brian

or just me in my head why not just create a list and then, the night before, do all I’m working the list two weeks before. 

 

0:16:51 – Kayla

Well, some of it’s stuff that I needed to pick up at the store. So anyway, you do. You, I’m good shots fired. He never meets a stranger. Nope, I often wonder are people just getting stranger? 

 

0:17:08 – Brian

Well, I find people to be an adventure. I find people to be a story that is waiting to be told. Ok, so I love to talk with people because you’ll learn details and it can be a great story, because I’m all about a great story and some people’s story scares me a little bit. You like to enter into a store, to a restaurant, and just uh-huh, be quiet, be all by yourself and you’ve introduced yourself to half the wait staff. 

 

0:17:39 – Kayla

So, yeah, this is who we are. It’s good. You will have a new friend every time we leave target. 

 

0:17:45 – Brian

So yeah, well, I just here, we are. Okay, here we are. I can literally not be thinking about anything. I can literally not be thinking about something and I’m thinking about what I’ve forgotten to think about whereas your mind, and that has always plagued you, that you don’t understand, like Bea, what are you thinking about and what will I say? 

 

0:18:09 – Kayla

Nothing, and you’ve never, and you mean it, nothing. 

 

0:18:15 – Brian

And. 

 

0:18:15 – Kayla

I’m worried about what I’ve forgotten to think about. 

 

0:18:18 – Brian

You’ve often said there’s like 19 things. 

 

0:18:20 – Kayla

Oh, I’m always just. It’s like a computer browser with multiple files open at all times. 

 

0:18:26 – Brian

And I understand that this could be one of the differences between men and women. 

 

0:18:29 – Kayla

Absolutely Yep. So all right, we talked about this a minute ago. You are completely unfazed by the state of our home. Okay, which right now? 

 

0:18:42 – Brian

Okay, we need to clarify this. When she says the state of our home home, she’s going to make it sound like that there’s a pack of monkeys that live there that don’t know how to use the bathroom. It is y’all the state of our home. Okay, it may not be dusted for five days, I don’t care it doesn’t.

 

0:19:07 – Kayla

Well, right now there’s piles of stuff everywhere, but it’s purposeful. But there’s dust, there’s who. I am phased by how unfazed you are. So, yeah, say that again. I am what. I am phased by how unfazed you are. It doesn’t bother me, but I should be thankful. Phased by how unfazed you are, but I should be thankful. I mean, there are probably some partnerships where it’s like you need to get this done, and I’ve had friends before whose spouses are very specific. 

 

0:19:35 – Brian

You will actually come to me and say B, I apologize for the state of this. Yeah, why are you? I’m happy as a clam. 

 

0:19:43 – Kayla

I just feel guilty, but yeah, okay, I’m working on it. So, to make sure this does not seem adversarial, this is us. We are planners. 

 

0:19:54 – Brian

Oh, we ain’t going nowhere. Where are we? 

 

0:19:55 – Kayla

going? Will there be food, will we get a nap and what will we do? 

 

0:19:59 – Brian

Where are we going to fill up at? Who are we meeting with? Where are we going? Yeah, I need to research the restaurants where we’re going to. 

 

0:20:06 – Kayla

We are both that way, and it’s what makes traveling together so amazing, because we both have the same questions and the same thought processes. 

 

0:20:16 – Brian

And if we’re going through a new airport, I will look it up.

 

0:20:18 – Kayla

Yeah, we’ll watch a video about it we will? 

 

0:20:21 – Brian

Yeah, well, certainly, I mean, that’s just who we are. 

 

0:20:31 – Kayla

Also, there is nobody else we’d rather spend the day with. We have often been teased for this. Like yeah, like, why do y’all spend so much time together? Because we actually like each other we like to talk. 

 

0:20:41 – Brian

Sometimes we’ll talk about you. 

 

0:20:48 – Kayla

This is one thing that I have really come to adopt, though. Our relationship isn’t their relationship, and it does not mean that either of us is wrong. 

 

0:20:59 – Brian

No, I guess not. 

 

0:21:00 – Kayla

We don’t get to decide what is best for any other couple or any other family, and that’s where back to our conversation about comparison. The only time that anyone should be concerned about what’s going on in another relationship is if you sense that there is some kind of abuse or domination or something that lends to yeah, otherwise it is really none of your business how they choose to if you see them buying fish sticks at the grocery store, that’s none of your business. 

 

But if they’re buying fish sticks for somebody they’re not married to, that’s your business oh well, I wasn’t sure where you were going with that, but okay, and fish sticks really well, I’m just saying For the record, we do not eat those. But anyway, here we are. I’m open to them. No, we’re good. So this is us, okay, and it’s a combination of things that complement each other and things that draw us together. 

 

0:22:03 – Brian

Hey, thanks for listening to this week’s edition of the piece. 

 

0:22:05 – Kayla

If you need me, I’m going to be off packing for our trip. 

 

0:22:08 – Brian

Y’all, you’ve been packing for three weeks. I won’t forget anything. Anyway, thanks for listening to this week’s edition of the Peas and Carrots Podcast, and we’d like to send you a coffee mug and a pack of the cute little stickers, okay, and you can win a Peas and Carrots coffee mug and a pack of the cute little stickers. Okay, and you can win a peas and carrots coffee mug and a pack of stickers. 

 

0:22:31 – Kayla

Go to our website, which is peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Look for the trivia button. 

 

0:22:37 – Brian

If you’ll click that trivia button at peasandcarrotspodcast.com, Our question this week is what are you excited about as we head into summer? 

 

0:22:46 – Kayla

Yeah, we want to know what your plans are. What are you excited about, as we? 

 

0:22:47 – Brian

head into summer. Yeah, we want to know what your plans are. What are you doing? What are you excited about as we head into summer? And you can answer that question when a coffee mug and a pack of stickers All you do is. 

 

0:22:56 – Kayla

Go to our website peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Also search Peas and Carrots Podcast. Wherever you get your podcasts or visit our website. 

 

0:23:05 – Brian

Peasandcarrotspodcast.com. 

 

0:23:06 – Kayla

When you do, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast. 

 

0:23:10 – Brian

You can also search Peas and Carrots wherever you get your podcast, and you can also follow us on Facebook and Instagram, all right.

 

0:23:23 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Life’s not perfect. That’s why God gave us friends like Melody and Candi. Check out QuirksBumpsandBruises.com, or search Quirks, Bumps, and Bruises wherever you listen to podcasts. 

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Season 3, Episode 15: Goodbye, Grandest of Dames

Can We Talk?
Goodbye, Grandest of Dames - Episode Description

Caught in the whirlwind of life’s changes, from celebrating the fruits of our ministry’s fundraising to navigating the emotional currents of a college town during graduation season, we’ve got a lot to catch up on. The hum of activity in our little corner of the world is as vibrant as ever, but there’s a special place in this episode for quiet reflection, especially as I honor the memory of my grandmother, Mary Slade, whose wit and wisdom have left an indelible mark on my heart.

Boundaries: we often misunderstand them, and yet they’re vital for nurturing healthy relationships—and that’s a big part of our discussion today. Far from being a sign of strained connections, they’re the scaffolding for peaceable living, as taught in Romans 12:18. We’ll share how these principles apply not just in ministry, but across the spectrum of life, and we hope to clear the fog surrounding boundaries with personal insights and some eye-opening anecdotes. It’s about carving out a space where self-care and respect for others coexist harmoniously.

Rounding off, we pay tribute to a woman of formidable character and humor—my grandmother, Mary Slade. From the enigma of her ever-present green purse to her no-nonsense take on taboo topics, her stories are sure to spark a smile. We invite you to join us in this emotional journey as we reminisce, laugh, and perhaps shed a tear, and we encourage you to share the tales of those who’ve shaped your life, too. So tune in, as we celebrate the legacies that continue to touch our lives long after loved ones have departed.

Goodbye, Grandest of Dames - Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 

 

0:00:11 – Brian

Welcome to the Peas and Carrots Podcast. Hello, I’m Brian, I’m Kayla and good to have you along. It’s been a while it has, and y’all you just need to know that the studio in which this is recorded is a mess is also the studio from which I do fundraising for the ministry here, and so Miss Sanders just came in about five minutes ago and you’ve been reorganizing. 

 

0:00:37 – Kayla

Cleaning up is what I would call it. Well, I didn’t leave trash, no, but there’s stuff everywhere, good stuff, anyway. Where have we been? 

 

0:00:48 – Brian

Nowhere. We have been right here fundraising for the ministry. 

 

0:00:54 – Kayla

So our ministry is a nonprofit and we actually have to raise our own funds, and we do that twice a year. So we apologize. We were very ambitious, thinking that we would get to keep recording. We have not had time to do that, so yeah lots of very full days, but our ministry is funded for several months 102% I believe, yes, so. 

 

0:01:22 – Brian

Congratulations, Ms. Sanders. It’s awesome. 

 

0:01:24 – Kayla

We have some amazing team members and, yeah, as we record this, what is happening in town this week? B? 

 

0:01:32 – Brian

Virginia Tech’s graduation. 

 

0:01:34 – Kayla

It’s like ants on a molehill out there. 

 

0:01:36 – Brian

And let me just say this 20 minutes ago we were at a little place downtown here that sells ice cream and we walked down there and it’s like 20 000 people it’s pretty busy. 

 

0:01:48 – Kayla

They need to leave. I want my town back well, our town is about to get much quieter because all these people are leaving. 

 

0:01:54 – Brian

All the students will leave yeah you’ll be able to get through target in 10 minutes instead of 55. We will not that I’m grumpy little bit. There you go. We are excited for summer. 

 

0:02:08 – Kayla

Why. 

 

0:02:09 – Brian

One month from today, I believe we’ll be, at Disney? We will. We are Going on vacation. 

 

0:02:17 – Kayla

We have some vacations planned. We’ve had some opportunities presented to us to serve within our church and we’re excited about that opportunities presented to us to serve within our church and we’re excited about that. 

 

0:02:26 – Brian

I’ll be teaching the gospel I mean the gospel, the life of Joseph and you’ll be leading a women’s study. 

 

0:02:32 – Kayla

I’ll be helping with. There’s several of us that are going to facilitate that. I’m excited about that and scared all at the same time, but I’m looking forward to time in the garden. Finally, there’s snakes there. Time on our back deck. 

 

0:02:45 – Brian

Spiders. 

 

0:02:47 – Kayla

We’ll whack them with a shovel or something I don’t know. 

 

0:02:50 – Brian

You said you was excited to be in the garden. 

 

0:02:53 – Kayla

You’re looking forward to getting outside. I am. 

 

0:02:58 – Brian

Our back deck is one of our favorite places and I really struggle with allergies, but it seems as if my allergist has me on a good cocktail, shall we say, of medications, when I can get them. 

 

0:03:14 – Kayla

At the end of April we lost a giant and we’re going to talk about that in a few minutes. My grandma passed away, so we will come back to that in just a few minutes, but we do have some reflections we would like to share. 

 

0:03:30 – Brian

It’s going to be fun, so stick around Boundaries. It’s a favorite topic of yours. You read books about it and you talk about it every now and then. 

 

0:03:43 – Kayla

They’re very important to me, books about it and you talk about it every now and then. They’re very important to me. You and I have been talking about this some lately because there are a lot of hot takes on boundaries and a lot of myths, so we thought that we would take just a minute. You’ve read some of these books as well, so I want to give full credit that some of our resource here is coming from a book Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab, and she is much more experienced in all this, but we have both been able to take some knowledge from what she has written about. But there’s this kind of mentality that when you say the word boundaries, some people, people, just they start to twitch because it’s like, oh, nobody should do that. So we’re going to dive in and just spend a very short amount of time because again today we really want to share with you about my grandma. But what would you say is the first myth? 

 

0:04:42 – Brian

That good Christians don’t need boundaries, because we’re called to love everyone. And we are called to love everyone and you are called to forgive, but it doesn’t mean you have to do life with that person. You can forgive them, you can set a boundary, but you don’t have to do life with them because you don’t have to keep taking that. 

 

0:05:00 – Kayla

Well, one of the things that you and I have learned. Thank you, therapy. Some people are not safe, and this can range from for various people. If this speaks to you, it’s because you’re feeling that someone is not safe physically or mentally or emotionally for you, and there is a verse Romans 12, 18 comes to mind If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. 

 

0:05:28 – Brian

Yeah, as far as it depends on you. Yeah, if you’ve gone as far as you can go, if you’ve done all you can do and that person still is abusive or manipulative over and over again. Now, this is separate from forgiveness. You can forgive, but you don’t have to keep going back and taking that abuse. Yeah, so that’s a different thing. 

 

0:05:49 – Kayla

And here’s one truth that resonates for me we live in a broken world, and sometimes living in a broken world that has no boundaries. 

 

0:06:00 – Brian

Broken people continue to break others, and that’s not a good place so you know, some people are going to say to us that actually boundaries say that like I don’t care yeah, that’s our second myth and actually it’s saying you know, first of all I care about myself yeah but I can’t right now. What’s that mean? 

 

0:06:21 – Kayla

I can’t right it means maybe, that someone has so much on their plate already. I can’t take that on right now, or I can’t be available right now, or I can’t make time for that right now, or I want to help you, but I don’t feel I’m qualified to give the help you need. Sometimes people genuinely need to go talk to a therapist. A professional. 

 

0:06:44 – Brian

Sometimes people genuinely need to go talk to a therapist. 

 

0:06:46 – Kayla

Yeah to a professional. We aren’t all necessarily meant to fix everyone else’s problems. 

 

0:06:51 – Brian

And it’s okay to say I’d prefer not to talk about that. Yeah, you don’t have to be an open book to everybody. 

 

0:06:59 – Kayla

Think about Thanksgiving dinner, some of the questions that the family member you haven’t seen for 364 days. I’re on turkey. I know, I realize that there are certain things that you may want to be able to look at them and say I’d prefer not to talk about that. If it’s your personal life or it’s your decisions you’re making, what’s something else that comes to mind? 

 

0:07:21 – Brian

I’m not seeking advice. I just need to decompress, and that’s something that you say to me on a weekly basis. 

 

0:07:27 – Kayla

I say it a little different than that, though. What is it? I usually say to you B I’m not looking for you to fix this. I just want you to listen, but I’m built to fix, but you’ve gotten so good at it you really have. 

 

0:07:40 – Brian

As long as. 

 

0:07:41 – Kayla

I give the disclaimer. Don’t try to fix this. 

 

0:07:44 – Brian

Okay, all right, I’m a good fixer. There’s another one. 

 

0:07:49 – Kayla

I’m sorry, but we disagree over this. However, my love for you has not changed. So there are people that they don’t like the boundary of disagreeing, that they feel like if you’re really a good, a friend or spouse or I don’t know what a family member, you’re going to always agree that’s not true, and it’s not true you can have different opinions and yeah and still get along. 

 

0:08:17 – Brian

Uh, my no is to protect both of us no is a complete sentence I guess for me I say no. There are certain people like you and maybe two other people that I should explain that to if it’s a personal nature but others. No, I don’t owe you an explanation about certain things in my life or certain things that I’ve been through. 

 

0:08:44 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:08:45 – Brian

And I think that that’s a very good boundary. What’s the third myth, Ms Kayla? 

 

0:08:51 – Kayla

Boundaries are just a justification for holding people at arm’s length. 

 

0:08:55 – Brian

That’s. 

 

0:08:57 – Kayla

But they can actually include things like what Well, not sharing confidences. Yeah, you don’t have to be an open book to everybody. No, you’re not meant to be. You don’t have to be an open book to everybody. No, you’re not meant to be. 

 

0:09:08 – Brian

You don’t have to demand people’s time, yeah. 

 

0:09:12 – Kayla

Sometimes you have to refuse space to others. You literally have to say I cannot do this relationship or I cannot spend this time with you.

 

0:09:24 – Brian

Here’s something I’m guilty of is telling people how to feel. So, because I like everything to be at peace, I like everybody to be happy, I like everything to be like a calm sea, and it’s not because, if it’s not, it affects me in a negative manner and that’s selfish and that’s that’s just. That’s just my broken, but I don’t have the right to tell people well, this is how you should feel about that. That’s the Lord’s job to do that. 

 

0:09:55 – Kayla

And another one, finally, is for this myth is not respecting their boundaries. There’s got to be give and take. If I’m asking someone to accept that I’d prefer not to talk about certain things, or I’d prefer to be able to feel how I want to feel, or I want to be okay with us disagreeing, or I can’t, right now, I’ve got to give other people the same freedom. And then finally, our fourth, and this one’s a quick hit Only people in dysfunctional relationships need boundaries. 

 

0:10:28 – Brian

No, that’s not true, and let me say this Everybody practices boundaries. Yes, you need to know that, whether you think you do or not. Whether you, think you do or not. Yeah, because with your best friend you’re going to share the bulk of your thoughts and your feelings, or whatever, somebody who you just met. Hopefully, not, hopefully not. 

 

0:10:47 – Kayla

You see, that’s a little awkward. 

 

0:10:49 – Brian

Yeah. 

 

0:10:53 – Kayla

So boundaries actually create healthy relationships. That’s the whole point of this is if you are willing to accept that boundaries exist and they have value, to accept that boundaries exist and they have value. The last thing we will say if someone is telling you that boundaries make you an evil person, that’s a red flag, because it definitely means that they don’t handle boundaries well. 

 

0:11:17 – Brian

Yeah, so be cautious and be wise and remember boundaries are good things whenever they’re practiced within a biblical context. Your grandma.

 

0:11:31 – Kayla

Yeah, so a couple of weeks ago I got word that my grandmother had passed away. Now let me start by saying this she was 94 years old. 

 

She lived in Hadley she lived in Hadley, Suffolk in England. She had a full and wonderful life. A half of her family lives in America. The other half lives in England. She spent a lot of time coming back and forth across the ocean to visit with all of us. She stood at four feet 11 and a half an inch. We were talking about Four foot 11 and a half an inch. Sorry four foot 11 inches and half an inch. Do not forget her half an inch. 

 

0:12:08 – Brian

We were talking about this last night and I said why you got to say half an inch and how would she respond if you didn’t include the half an inch? Oh, she was ticked yeah. Was she really oh? 

 

0:12:17 – Kayla

that half an inch was important because she was nearly five feet tall. So that half an inch was important because she was nearly five feet tall. So she was little, but to us as a family she was a giant. 

 

0:12:27 – Brian

Made out of metal. Made out of steel. 

 

0:12:30 – Kayla

For me, she was a safe place when I was growing up. She was the glue that held our family together. I remember her roses chocolate candy tin, which she gifted to me later in life and I still have it. She would watch the original Poseidon Adventure movie with me over and over. 

 

0:12:52 – Brian

How many times do you think you’ve seen that? 

 

0:12:53 – Kayla

Well, let’s just say that the last time she visited our house and I asked her if she’d watch it, her response was oh, bloody hell. Okay, and she sat through it, but it kind of let me know that she’d had enough.

 

0:13:07 – Brian

Okay, so Grandma, she was married to Norman, her husband 50 years at least, 50, 51. 

 

0:13:16 – Kayla

Right at 50 years. He passed away after that so they were very spicy with each other. I mean he loved to wind her up, so she would go to the pub almost every night. She would walk down to the pub. 

 

0:13:30 – Brian

Y’all are getting the real y’all getting the underbelly this week. 

 

0:13:33 – Kayla

One summer I had gone to spend three months with my grandmother, and I’d gone to the pub with her most every night. But this night I was tired and so I opted to stay home and just spend some time, you know, chilling on the couch. Well, that front door clicked shut, and no sooner had she left than my granddad comes out of his room. Context my grandfather had a stroke when I was very young, so I hear these feet shuffling down the hall. He comes and sits down on the couch next to me. 

 

0:14:05 – Brian

Michaela. 

 

0:14:06 – Kayla

Michaela, you want to watch TV. So we watch television together. Five minutes before it’s time for her to come home from the pub, he doesn’t say goodnight, goodbye, sayonara. He gets up off the couch, shuffles back down the hall, click and shuts his bedroom door and my grandmother walks in five minutes later and I am dying laughing on the inside. 

 

0:14:30 – Brian

Now she went to the pub every night. 

 

0:14:32 – Kayla

At that time yes, she would go to the pub Three hours a night. About three hours a night. If you visited her, that’s fine, but you were going to visit her at the pub at that time of night. 

 

0:14:42 – Brian

She wasn’t giving that up. That was her that was her thing, that was her people, that was her community. They’d play trivia. 

 

0:14:47 – Kayla

She had an amazing community there, to the degree that there will be a wake at the pub in my grandmother’s honor, I think that’s fantastic, but we’ve had some fun with her through the years B. What happened at our wedding. 

 

0:15:02 – Brian

Hang on. Before we do that, we went to England for your grandparents’ 50th wedding anniversary. We did. We walked in the house, uh-huh, and I love your grandmother Can you describe the kitchen to our listeners Well.

 

0:15:20 – Kayla

It was chaotic, but she had done her bit for years. I mean, in her defense she used to be. There’s a British phrase she had done her bit. 

 

0:15:29 – Brian

Yeah. 

 

0:15:30 – Kayla

Towards the end, she just it didn’t matter so, but that was. Yeah, I want to be careful what I share and what I don’t. But yeah, she just she wasn’t much for housecleaning. Towards the end, okay, but at our wedding, something happened that caught you totally off guard. 

 

0:15:51 – Brian

We were leaving to go on the honeymoon. We were outside. 

 

0:15:54 – Kayla

We were saying goodbye to everybody. 

 

0:15:57 – Brian

And they were supposed to throw bird seed at us as we walked down this thing. 

 

0:16:01 – Kayla

Well, somebody had given my grandmother a bucket, yeah, and she were supposed to throw bird seed at us as we walked down this thing. 

 

0:16:03 – Brian

Well, somebody had given my grandmother a bucket, yeah, and she comes up to me, pulls the back of my pants out and pours bird seed down my bucket down my hind end. That was an uncomfortable ride to the hotel. 

 

0:16:18 – Kayla

Let me just say Three hours yes. 

 

0:16:20 – Brian

Birds were attacking the truck. And I’m kidding, oh, they were not. But she just say Three hours yes, birds were attacking the truck, and I’m kidding, oh, they were not. But she just found that hysterical, also at the wedding. 

 

0:16:28 – Kayla

If you watch the wedding video you might see her put her teeth in. 

 

0:16:33 – Brian

She goes down the aisle to her seat With her big green purse. What was in that purse? 

 

0:16:40 – Kayla

Everything. No, what was in it? 

 

0:16:41 – Brian

Oh, everything. No, what was in it? 

 

0:16:42 – Kayla

Oh, her life insurance papers, her will, her certificates, her bank books. Okay, and that purse went everywhere. 

 

0:16:49 – Brian

When you say everywhere Bathroom. She didn’t yes sir. She took if she was in the living room. 

 

0:16:57 – Kayla

If she was at our house and she went to the bathroom, she took a purse with her. 

 

0:17:00 – Brian

What about in her own house? 

 

0:17:01 – Kayla

I don’t think so, but she was at home. 

 

0:17:05 – Brian

I love her and your grandma’s name. 

 

0:17:08 – Kayla

Mary. 

 

0:17:09 – Brian

Mary Slade. 

 

0:17:11 – Kayla

She was the OG for practicing boundaries. You did not discuss government politics, religion or money in front of her. 

 

0:17:21 – Brian

Or sex. 

 

0:17:22 – Kayla

With family in two countries. She knew or money in front of her or sex With family in two countries. She knew how to minimize squabbles and that’s how she did it. She was brilliant. So back in the day, before boundaries even had like a label, she made clear that we were, and I mean, you did not want to incur her wrath so you did not. But I will say this. I watched her sit with you for about two and a half hours One day. You were curious about British government and she knew you weren’t taking fun at her. So she sat there and answered every question that you had about British government, and the rest of us were just in awe of the fact that you were getting away with this. So we’re going to we’re going to say this delicately she had an issue Grandma had a flatulence issue. 

 

She did. That’s a very nice way to put it. 

 

0:18:12 – Brian

But she never took responsibility for it. It was always something Okay. So we’re going to meet her for the first time. I think she was actually coming over here and you pull me aside and you say, baby, I need to tell you something? 

 

0:18:26 – Kayla

What was the first time you were meeting her?

 

0:18:28 – Brian

I said baby, I need to be with you for something, that’s okay. You said my grandma farts a lot. I said wait a minute. Run that by me one more time. 

 

0:18:41 – Kayla

But she’s the most pristine woman you could ever have wanted to meet. 

 

0:18:45 – Brian

But that was her thing if she was sitting, but she never took responsibility for it, for example like a sailor. So if she passed it would, it’d be bloody cough syrup, bloody coke, oh, bloody liver and onions, I mean. And here’s the thing, she knew what’s going to happen because she’d actually raise up, like she would literally raise up to push it out. This happened and I am in, I am in awe. We’re delicately in the oversharing place of life there’s this little four foot eleven and a half lady blowing, I mean, but never took, I mean she never said it was her fault. No, it was always something else that attributed to it Bloody medicine. 

 

0:19:33 – Kayla

It’s just something and the rest of us are just trying to keep a straight face. Oh it’s hysterical. 

 

0:19:39 – Brian

Now we told y’all that she went to the pub every night the day of the wedding or the day before the wedding. 

 

0:19:48 – Kayla

The morning of the wedding, my grandmother wanted to host a brunch for my bridesmaids and my wedding party. Well, the place that we could figure out that could do this for us at that time of day was Applebee’s. So we end up at Applebee’s. I’m wiping away tears, and she offered everyone at the table a beer and Kayla and all of her bridesmaids come from this little conservative. Baptist college. Yeah, but that was her and she, oh girls. 

 

0:20:21 – Brian

would y’all like a brew? 

 

0:20:24 – Kayla

She was the most responsible and yet generous woman when it came to her money. She saved relentlessly, but she gave so big heartedly. I have to say this on a serious note. I embraced her love of family gardening. I remember many times she and I would be out weeding her garden, taking care of her flowers. We loved puzzles. We loved dogs. She always called sprocket pooch how’s the pooch? I inherited her practicality with money and resources. I don’t like to waste anything, and I get that from her. I have watched my grandmother sit and knit her own sweater set, wear it for several months, then unravel it and re-knit in another pattern. She was that generation that you just did not waste things. You used them until they were no longer usable, and so I had a front row seat to that. She did not have much for lavish. 

 

0:21:32 – Brian

Well, let’s be honest, though, but yet you don’t knit Right.

 

0:21:35 – Kayla

We’ll get to that, okay, yeah, that’s just no. So she tried.

 

0:21:39 – Brian

There’s another favorite story of mine yeah, you and your mom took your grandma out to a Chinese restaurant. It’s one of these buffets. Yeah, like you had all this Chinese food, Chinese food, and there’s one long thing of desserts. Tell everybody. 

 

0:21:52 – Kayla

She had so much dessert we could not see her head. She had her plate, she was walking back to the table. 

 

0:22:01 – Brian

Hang on, is this her? It’s stacked that high but she had not gone to any, that was her dinner. So she didn’t eat any egg, fuyon or General Tso’s chicken. 

 

0:22:08 – Kayla

She went straight to the desserts. She was my hero, I mean a plate as tall as her head. We could not see her face behind her dessert. 

 

0:22:16 – Brian

Did y’all laugh. 

 

0:22:20 – Kayla

Died laughing. What could not see her face behind her dessert? Did y’all laugh? Did you died laughing? What’d she say shut up. So yeah, so we were at a wedding, my brother was getting married and you were supposed to be unbeknownst to you. You were supposed to be babysitting grandma the wedding’s outside. 

 

0:22:33 – Brian

It’s in Arizona, 110 degrees, I kid you not and so stayed in the it’s attached to this resort. So I stayed inside the resort until wedding’s supposed to be at 10 o’clock. At 9:59, I walk out because I know I’m going to be sweating like a dog. Well, I did not know, grandma had been looking for me and there’s two or 300 people already seated facing the front. Grandma is facing the front as well, but she’s been looking for me. Well, I walk out and in front of and she sees me. 

 

0:23:04 – Kayla

She stands up. 

 

0:23:05 – Brian

In front of all these people. Brian, where the bloody hell have you been? I’m dying up here. Well, they had hauled in this fan A stadium fan it’s some kind of huge fan and turn this on. I I mean, there’s 300 people, there’s 300 sets of eyes watching this. I turn on the fan and it had one speed and it was it just, oh, that blew her hair back. Her hair is now blown back. So she said it’s too much, it’s too much, so I got to turn it off. Oh, and then the wedding started. 

 

We couldn’t get her hair fixed for the pictures no afterwards you couldn’t get her hair fixed One of my favorite, favorite memories of her. I have one more memory I want to share. I’ve never seen this. 

 

0:24:00 – Kayla

Okay. 

 

0:24:01 – Brian

But I love this image. 

 

0:24:03 – Kayla

Grandma used to smoke Mm-hmm and she would fly to New Orleans Now, hang on, I need to set the stage, okay. 

 

0:24:11 – Brian

And there was this half a wall. As you come off the jetway, there was half a wall and this is when you could actually go back to the gate. Yeah, people back then and y’all said you couldn’t see her, we couldn’t see, but we could see the trail of smoke. Trail of smoke y’all like there’s grandma, there she comes, yeah, and she turned the corner have her cigarette. 

 

0:24:32 – Kayla

Yep, oh yeah, they say I have her hands and I find myself staring them a lot and sadly. But this is where it gets funny. These hands did not figure out knitting and sewing. I tried, Grandma, I really did. She was very patient, she tried to teach me to knit, but it just wasn’t working. 

 

You did cross-stitch for a while I did cross stitch but knitting and sewing. That gene did not pass to me. So I’m proud to have her hands, but sadly my clothes come from the store. And she even gave up and handed me an envelope full of money and said oh, go shopping. So yeah, we tried. The most important thing to me was that she loved you. 

 

0:25:21 – Brian

Oh, I loved her. 

 

0:25:23 – Kayla

And that meant a lot to me. I needed my grandmother’s approval, oh, and it came quick and easy and watching you with both my grandfather and her. She absolutely delighted in you, so we will miss her. But, as you can tell, we could go on for hours. We have a lot of stories. 

 

0:25:44 – Brian

We have time for one more. Can I tell one more story? 

 

0:25:47 – Kayla

Maybe. Okay, I’m already in so much trouble about some of what you’ve shared. 

 

0:25:51 – Brian

This is before I knew you. They came to America to visit and your grandfather got the shingles, oh my goodness, and he was in the back bedroom. 

 

0:25:59 – Kayla

But and your grandfather got the shingles, oh my goodness, and he was in the back bedroom, but we did not know. 

 

0:26:01 – Brian

he had shingles, so and it’s August and he’s in Louisiana and he’s wearing thermal underwear. Ok, so he’s in the back bedroom suffering. She didn’t know this. Well, they’d be sitting there, so let us role play this, because she was tired of dealing with. 

 

0:26:19 – Kayla

Well, he, legit, was just sitting around. It was to the point where he was just sitting around in his shorts and his like tank top, but they were thermal and it’s August in Louisiana, so everybody just assumed the poor man had a heat rash. 

 

So he’s sitting under the fan Picture that he’s in the living room just sitting in nothing but his skivvies under the fan and he’s not healing. The. The air quotes rash is not going away. So we finally take him to the doctor. The doctor says this poor man does not have heat rash, he’s got shingles and so he’s miserable. He wants to go home. 

 

0:26:56 – Brian

So he’s in the bed fast forward to. 

 

0:26:58 – Kayla

He’s pouting and he’s laying in the bed. 

 

0:27:00 – Brian

So here we go, my grandma’s in the living room. 

 

0:27:03 – Kayla

Mary, what Mary, oh, what the bloody hell do you want Norman. 

 

0:27:09 – Brian

This went on for how long? Like 10 minutes, and it finally got to where it was Mary and she’d respond with Norman. They just went back and forth Like a tennis match. Miss Kayla, you’d make her proud and she was very, very proud of you and you know that, and she loved you dearly. 

 

0:27:27 – Kayla

And one day we will get to spend the rest of our life with her. 

 

0:27:32 – Brian

So yeah, so y’all, before we all start crying here, we’d like to give you a peas and carrots coffee mug, as well as some, as Miss Kayla calls them, cute little stickers. Yes, you have to answer a trivia question to get that, and to do that, you go to our website. 

 

0:27:48 – Kayla

Peasandcarrotspodcast.com. And when you go to the website, look for the trivia button. If you will click that button, again that’s peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Again, that’s peasandcarrotspodcast.com. 

 

0:27:58 – Brian

The question is who in your life has had a positive impact to who you are today? Yeah, who in your life has so influenced you that you’re a better person because of it? 

 

0:28:10 – Kayla

And we’d love to know why. Yeah, so yeah, go to our website. Click the trivia button. 

 

0:28:19 – Brian

You can search the Peas and Carrots Podcast wherever you get your podcasts, or visit our website peasandcarrotspodcast.com, and when you do, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast. 

 

0:28:26 – Kayla

You can also follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast. Mary! Norman!

 

0:28:33 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Growing through the challenges we face and finding hope along the way. That’s the Jesus Fix It Podcast with Jess. Check out jesusfixit.com or search Jesus Fix It wherever you listen to podcasts.

 

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Season 3, Episode 12: Can We Talk?

Can We Talk?
Can We Talk? - Episode Description

Join us on a heartfelt journey through the ups and downs of self-improvement and relationship building. Listen in as we laugh about the aches and triumphs of our gym escapades, including the notorious “cheeks to sneaks” challenge, and share a personal triumph as our Christmas tree finally gets packed away. But it’s not all fun and games; we get real about the necessity of engaging in tough conversations for leadership and personal growth. Hear about our commitment to candor in our lives and how these essential, yet often uncomfortable, discussions keep our relationships thriving.

In our latest chat, we reflect on the 31-year adventure of our relationship, weaving through the lessons of love and the evolution of our financial journey together. We explore the art of nurturing a lasting bond, emphasizing the role of trust, kindness, and the power of prayer before entering difficult dialogues. Plus, don’t miss the anticipation as we usher in the spring season, sharing our excitement for warmer days and inviting you to participate in our podcast giveaway. Tune in for these stories and more, wrapped up in the warmth of our shared experiences and laughter.

Can We Talk? - Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 

 

0:00:11 – Brian

Welcome to the Peas and Carrots Podcast. Hi, I’m Brian. 

 

0:00:15 – Kayla

I’m Kayla, I may not have known you started the microphones on or anything. I don’t know what day is this. Microphones on or anything, I don’t know what day is this? 

 

0:00:30 – Brian

Let’s just, I want to start here, I just want to start here. Oh, my goodness, the trainer at our gym has you doing something new? 

 

0:00:39 – Kayla

It’s not new, I’ve done it before, but admittedly I have not done it for a while. 

 

0:00:44 – Brian

And tell them what this is called. 

 

0:00:46 – Kayla

It’s called a squat. It has a technical name, but you’re basically no. What’s he call it? Well, he calls it cheeks to sneaks. So basically I have to bend down and my behind has to touch the back of my shoes. I can hardly walk today. 

 

0:01:04 – Brian

Cheeks to sneaks. 

 

0:01:08 – Kayla

So he had you do this Tuesday, Wednesday 20 of them times I could only do three. Admittedly, I could only do three rounds. But he did 60 cheeks to sneaks and last night I could not sit in the bathtub. 

 

0:01:21 – Brian

When she got up, it’s like she needed a walker, and you can use your own imagination. 

 

0:01:33 – Kayla

Sitting down is precarious in all circumstances, so you’re talking about using the bathroom a little bit, but yeah, so I went to the gym this morning. 

 

0:01:38 – Brian

Did you do any cheeks to sneaks I? 

 

0:01:40 – Kayla

did not. 

 

0:01:41 – Brian

Not today. 

 

0:01:41 – Kayla

No, today was riding five miles on the bike, wow. So tomorrow I’m going to need a walker. That’s where we are. You’re doing some amazing stuff at the gym, though, too, and yes, we signed on for this. 

 

0:02:02 – Brian

Nobody’s forcing us. We pay these people to do this to us. I don’t understand that. 

 

0:02:06 – Kayla

But okay, in all seriousness, what did we admit Tuesday night? 

 

0:02:12 – Brian

I was deathly tired and needed a piece of cake. 

 

0:02:17 – Kayla

We admitted that it’s good for us and that we are thankful for the people there. 

 

0:02:22 – Brian

That was a weak moment in my life. 

 

0:02:23 – Kayla

Okay, all right it does, it makes a weak moment in my life. 

 

0:02:25 – Brian

Okay, all right, it does. It makes a difference. I feel better, I’ve lost weight. 

 

0:02:30 – Kayla

We’re healthier physically, mentally, yeah, yeah, it’s good stuff, so but we’re also very sore. 

 

0:02:36 – Brian

Yes, killing us. 

 

0:02:38 – Kayla

Breaking news for those two people that are keeping score our Christmas tree is down. 

 

0:02:46 – Brian

It only took. 

 

0:02:48 – Kayla

Listen, it normally stays up until your birthday, which is what date? 

 

0:02:53 – Brian

I like having it up, I mean March 15th. 

 

0:02:55 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:02:56 – Brian

Are you trying to test my memory, if I remember stuff? 

 

0:02:58 – Kayla

I’m trying to see if you’re listening what you look a little zoned out. 

 

0:03:02 – Brian

That is not fair. 

 

0:03:03 – Kayla

This came from the person who didn’t know. You turned the microphones on. 

 

0:03:07 – Brian

This is my life, y’all. 

 

0:03:09 – Kayla

But seriously, I do want to say thank you to the friends who encouraged me to turn it into an Easter tree and then a spring tree and then a 4th of July tree. But it was time, it just felt time to tuck it away. 

 

0:03:21 – Brian

And now the den it looks huge, it looks massive. 

 

0:03:26 – Kayla

Yeah, I’m like, wow, we have all this space. 

 

0:03:27 – Brian

I’m happy to see that right corner of the tv again. I know you are. 

 

0:03:31 – Kayla

You’re very welcome so y’all. 

 

0:03:34 – Brian

Just I felt that comment. There you go, we’ve become those people. Uh-huh, we don’t start a movie after about 7, 30 or so seven is Because we’re typically asleep by 9. 

 

0:03:48 – Kayla

So if it’s a two-hour movie, we need to be starting it by 7 pm. The other night we went to bed at 7.45. And I am not sorry for it. I feel guilty. I don’t care. They don’t bother you. We get to make the rules. Oh, but we were awake at like three the next morning, so that’s probably not the greatest idea. 

 

0:04:07 – Brian

But there’s one more late breaking development I want to add to this. Ok, one of the engineers in PAR, his name is Alan. 

 

0:04:16 – Kayla

He’s bought us a popcorn machine. Now, when she says popcorn machine, we’re not talking about an air popper, no, we’re talking like one, you would go to the movie theater for, yeah, it is so cool. 

 

0:04:28 – Brian

And we just had our first bag of popcorn. 

 

0:04:30 – Kayla

We did so. Thank you, Alan. Thank you, it was very, very sweet, yeah, this is. The whole building smells like popcorn today. 

 

0:04:37 – Brian

I love popcorn, do you? 

 

0:04:38 – Kayla

I do. 

 

0:04:39 – Brian

Oh. 

 

0:04:45 – Kayla

Probably not trainer approved, but here we are. You don’t listen to them. I’ll put in another round next week. So we always say that a lot of what we talk about comes from real life, and I get that we’re probably for those of you who’ve been hanging with us for a while, we are probably revisiting some topics, and I think that’s okay, because as humans, we are ever growing, hopefully, and we start to see things differently as we experience things. And for us, we are both serving roles that require what we are going to talk about here, which is Healthy hard conversations. 

 

Yeah. 

 

0:05:27 – Brian

I’m a big believer in what’s called candor. I learned that from Jack Welch, yeah. Then Brene Brown followed that up with her book Dare to Lead, and she talks about rumbles. There’s also another book by Kim Scott that talks about candor a lot. So I’m a big believer in it. But candor doesn’t always mean hard conversations. But if you’re going to lead, if you’re going to invest in people, if you’re going to live life, you’re going to have to have some hard conversations. 

 

0:05:59 – Kayla

If you want to have a functioning relationship. Yeah, Because I mean a functioning relationship. Yeah, Because I mean it’s interesting to me the people that are conflict averse. They equate hard conversations with conflict and maybe they will lead to some conflict, but if they’re done right, that’s not always the case, and so this is kind of a rule for me. I have learned as a leader and even as a spouse and even as a friend it’s better to have a hard conversation early than to let a situation or an issue fester, Because the other side of this is nobody deserves to be blindsided by something that’s apparently been an issue for a long time, but bam, all of a sudden it’s being addressed. It’s like annual reviews. 

 

0:06:51 – Brian

I’m not a fan. Yeah, we do not do annual reviews either. You need to be having ongoing conversation. Yeah, and if you have ongoing conversations, you won’t have to have as many hard conversations. 

 

0:07:03 – Kayla

And you build trust. 

 

0:07:04 – Brian

Correct. 

 

0:07:04 – Kayla

During the regular day-to-day talking life with other people. So I think there’s this part of Brene Brown’s book where she talks about the marble jar. You remember that she talks about the marble jar and she talks about how, hopefully, you’re filling the jar with marbles. Well, there will come a point where you might have to take a marble or two out because of something that either there’s a felt lack of trust or there’s a there’s a change, and a hard conversation could possibly be perceived as one of those times. If you filled the jar full enough, it’s not going to be as hard to lose a marble here or there. 

 

0:07:48 – Brian

And I think what Ms. Kayla is referring to, as is Brene Brown, is that’s trust. You got to keep building trust, yeah, you got to keep building trust, yep, so that when those hard conversations come, you can actually take some of that out and use it to have a hard conversation In a healthy way. Yes, Now, within a lot of Christian circles let me just say this in a lot of Christian circles and some secular, it’s not considered Christian or nice to have hard conversations. 

 

0:08:17 – Kayla

But even Jesus did that. He modeled it for us in the Bible. 

 

0:08:21 – Brian

Yes, and let me say this the only way the gospel can be good news is if there’s bad news, that’s right. So you have to understand the bad news, which is we are sinners, we are separated from God. We were born this way. We are bent away from him, we are selfish, we want our own desires, and then Jesus comes to rescue us because we can’t earn our way to God. There’s no way. So he comes. The bad news is you can’t get there on your own. The bad news is you are condemned. 

 

0:08:51 – Kayla

What is the good news? The good news is grace. Yes, he came, so you’ve got to have that hard conversation in order to get to the good stuff? Amen. Why do we, as humans, struggle to have hard conversations? What are some of the things that you and I have observed? 

 

0:09:09 – Brian

We don’t want to hurt people’s feelings. 

 

0:09:11 – Kayla

We don’t want them to not like us. 

 

0:09:19 – Brian

For me. I don’t want to be rejected or I don’t want to be not accepted. I don’t want to be unlovable or seen as unlovable. 

 

0:09:23 – Kayla

We don’t want to have the conversation used against us later on, huh I never thought about that. 

 

0:09:29 – Brian

That’s how selfish I am. 

 

0:09:31 – Kayla

I’ve never thought I’ve we we’re averse to conflict. We talked about that a minute ago. Maybe we don’t want to have that hard conversation because we don’t want to. What’s the expression? Upset the apple cart. We don’t want to have drama or we don’t want to have someone who’s not happy. 

 

0:09:50 – Brian

Some people will say well, you know you should avoid that, because a fruit of the spirit is peace. Well, you might need to have a hard conversation so you can get to peace. 

 

0:10:00 – Kayla

But if you’re living in a toxic space where both people are just practicing like silent anger or passive aggressiveness, is that really peace? Because when you don’t have hard conversations that’s sometimes what it looks like is, well, I’m just going to sit over here and ice you out, or I’m going to pout, or I’m going to sit here and just stew over what happened, whereas a 10-minute conversation, it gives you the opportunity to practice kindness in choosing your words. You can practice forgiveness if you’re the one that’s having to receive the hard words. There’s just there’s so many layers to it. But I’m not a fan and this is from being married to you for 31 years, because I’ll be the first to admit you know this. 

 

When we first married, I did not do hard conversations. I would clam up anytime you tried to have a conversation with me and you finally said we got to about our third year of marriage and you said there is something you have to do for me. You have to stop putting up a wall when we need to have a conversation about something, and so I committed to that. It was hard, still is sometimes. 

 

0:11:22 – Brian

Yes. 

 

0:11:22 – Kayla

Especially when I think I’m right and I don’t want to hear it, which you normally are right. 

 

0:11:28 – Brian

Let’s just go on the record and say that. 

 

0:11:30 – Kayla

So what are we really saying to the other person when we lean into a hard conversation? 

 

0:11:35 – Brian

I think I’m saying to them I love you, I care about you, I care about you. I care about this relationship. 

 

0:11:40 – Kayla

Yes. 

 

0:11:41 – Brian

Yeah, let me say this we’re not saying that a hard conversation is you can be a jerk Not at all. That’s not what we’re saying. What we’re saying is that you have to be kind and clear, caring. You don’t have to raise your voice, you don’t go after the person. 

 

0:11:59 – Kayla

Oh, you go after the issue Go after the issue yes, and if the person is the issue, then find kind ways to express that issue. You don’t have to tear them down in the process, Because you and I have both we’ve been on the receiving end of that before and nothing good comes from that. But and I’m sure that we’ve not perfectly executed our conversations with others but but what is it that we want to say when we’re having a hard conversation to that person? 

 

0:12:31 – Brian

That I want to address this issue so I can save the relationship. 

 

0:12:36 – Kayla

Yes. 

 

0:12:36 – Brian

Or I want to address this issue so I can make the relationship better, I can make things better between us, I can make the process better. Yeah, that’s what I’m trying to do, and it’s to either restore something or improve something. Yes. 

 

0:12:52 – Kayla

That’s got to be the goal of it, and it’s to communicate. I love you enough, whoever this person is, I love you enough, whoever this person is, I love you enough. I value you that I’m not just going to write you off. We’re going to work through this. 

 

0:13:06 – Brian

I would say if you can use some humor, yeah, but get to the point. And let me say this: Please don’t talk in riddles, oh no, get to the point, be honest. 

 

0:13:18 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:13:18 – Brian

And be clear and communicate that you love that person. 

 

0:13:23 – Kayla

There’s another tenant to this that I always practice when I’m having a really hard conversation with someone. 

 

If it hits a point in the conversation, perhaps we’ve had to rumble a little bit and it’s gotten a little uncomfortable, perhaps we’ve had to rumble a little bit and it’s gotten a little uncomfortable, or maybe the person or myself is feeling kind of threatened. Then what I will do is I will say we’re going to pause this, but we’re going to come back to this at this time and I will commit to coming back to it, hopefully that day. If it’s a situation where I know, okay, we’re going to pause this, we’re going to go get done what we need to get done, but then we’re going to come back together and we’re going to revisit this. It may look like you need to give the person a couple of days if it was a really contentious conversation, but it has to be something that when you start you’re committed to finishing it, that you’re not just going to get halfway and go okay, we’ll find we’ll walk away from this, because then nothing’s been accomplished. 

 

0:14:27 – Brian

You need to get to where what I call tie the shoe, because there’s nothing worse than walk around with your shoes untied. You could trip over it. That’s like an unfinished conversation. You need to be able to finish it. Land the plane Now. Y’all may not end up agreeing okay, but you’ll need to find a framework in which you can move forward together. 

 

0:14:48 – Kayla

With mutual respect. 

 

0:14:49 – Brian

Yes. 

 

0:14:49 – Kayla

Yeah, that’s the end game. 

 

0:14:51 – Brian

Yeah Well, do these conversations ever get easier? Meh Well, do these conversations ever get easier? Let me say this it’s according as to the size of the issue. 

 

0:15:04 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:15:05 – Brian

As to the seriousness of the issue. Some of those conversations, they flow well. Some conversations are not going to flow so well because people can feel attacked, they can feel that you are coming against them personally, and I would just make that clear up front. This is not about you personally. Yeah, this is about what this is happening over here. 

 

0:15:28 – Kayla

They hopefully get easier in one respect. That is, that the more you embrace them, the less terrified you are of having a hard conversation and the less of your own value you tie to them, and what I mean by that is the more we are willing to say. Let’s sit in this space together and let’s talk this out. You’re not fretting over the fact that, ok, if I do this, this person’s going to hate me for the rest of my life, because, truthfully, that’s a whole nother topic for another day. 

 

0:16:05 – Brian

Hard conversations will make you and your relationships better. Yeah, know that, but you have to build the trust with the person before you can have them and you cannot let emotion rule the day. Exactly. So just know that Now, as Miss Kayla said, we have not perfected this. 

 

0:16:23 – Kayla

No, I bumble them. From time to time I have to go back and say can we revisit this or can I clarify that, or is there anything that you would want to say? And that’s the other part of this is the conversation has to be two-sided. A hard conversation is not just something that you like pour out, it’s something that you have to let filter in as well. So anytime a hard conversation is entered into, it’s got to be two-way. It’s got to be listening as well as speaking. 

 

0:16:54 – Brian

If it’s not, you’re just wasting your time. That’s right. So be brave, but also be kind. 

 

0:17:00 – Kayla

Yes. 

 

0:17:01 – Brian

Have those conversations. 

 

0:17:02 – Kayla

And the last thing I would say is this sounds trite to some people, but before you go into any hard conversation, pray. And ask the spirit to give you the right things to say. Sometimes he will literally put a guard over your mouth to keep you from saying things. 

 

0:17:20 – Brian

Well, I’m pretty strong. I’ve beaten that guard down a few times, but you’re exactly right. You’re 100% right. 

 

0:17:28 – Kayla

But you can do this, yes. 

 

0:17:33 – Brian

Living the dream baby. 

 

0:17:35 – Kayla

We were and we are. Oh baby, we were and we are, oh yeah. Okay, there’s just a few things that we were thinking through our last. I mean almost 31 years now. 

 

0:17:45 – Brian

I’m getting old. 

 

0:17:47 – Kayla

I mean we’ve known each other almost 32 years. Oh my gosh, here we are and here you’ve stuck with me. So there’s just a few things that you know as you think back over your time with someone. I’m going to say with your person, because for us that’s each other. Our financial status, for example, it has changed in the last 31-ish years, but our values toward each other have not. My dad always said money’s gained and lost every single day. You can always make more money, but the most precious commodity we have is each other. 

 

0:18:24 – Brian

That’s exactly right To the point that I’ve tried to embrace. This is that I can replace stuff. I can always earn more money. Yeah, I can’t replace you, yep. So as we look back over these 31 years, you know taking care of you has been my greatest delight, that’s very sweet, because jobs come and go. Why are you being so nice today? 

 

0:18:49 – Kayla

I had popcorn. 

 

0:18:53 – Brian

I set you up for a great sentimental moment. I had popcorn. She’s so proud of herself right now. What I was going to say. What I was going to say is we have worked so hard to get certain things and I look back and it isn’t the thing that made the memory. It’s working with you. 

 

0:19:19 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:19:20 – Brian

It was through the struggle, it was doing those things together. 

 

0:19:23 – Kayla

The things pale in comparison. Yes, yeah. 

 

0:19:27 – Brian

I would also say this looking back, you aren’t meant to have it all immediately. 

 

0:19:32 – Kayla

No. 

 

0:19:33 – Brian

And maybe you never should. So there’s two things here. One you aren’t meant to have it all to me. You should have to work hard, you should have to learn some lessons, you should have to. 

 

0:19:43 – Kayla

And lean into each other. For that. 

 

0:19:45 – Brian

At the same time, there might be some things that you’ll never have enough money for, Like I’ll never have enough money to buy an autographed letter by Abraham Lincoln no-transcript. 

 

0:20:05 – Kayla

But in all seriousness, we could have spent the entire last 31 years chasing after all the things. When do you get to enjoy what you already have, if that’s your mindset? 

 

0:20:19 – Brian

I enjoy. This is going to sound really stupid. I enjoy a simple life. When we leave here every day from the offices we go home, I’m going to be serious. We do not live a big, exciting life. I mean being serious.

 

0:20:31 – Kayla

And most people don’t. 

 

0:20:32 – Brian

Most people don’t. I mean, we go home and I’ll plop down and I’ll watch the news for a little while. 

 

0:20:38 – Kayla

I’ll cook dinner. 

 

0:20:40 – Brian

We’ll cook dinner We’ll watch an episode of West Wing or something. 

 

0:20:45 – Kayla

Or read. Some nights the TV doesn’t even go on. 

 

0:20:51 – Brian

I’m usually asleep in the recliner by about 815. But that’s our simple life, and if there’s a topic we need to talk about, we’ll do it. 

 

0:20:59 – Kayla

But for me, here’s what I’ll say this might sound ooey and gooey, but living the dream for me has been doing all these moments with you. Yeah, it’s in the mundane that a life is built, so to build on that, we started out together with a gifted couch, a gifted chair and a gifted bed. And what we can tell you now, 31 years in, is memories aren’t made around the stuff. It’s made around the day-to-day. The memories we have are about us. We can’t tell you what we were wearing when those memories were made. 

 

0:21:38 – Brian

It’s about the doing, it’s about the living, it’s about the decisions. It’s about being there together, facing the hardships. 

 

0:21:45 – Kayla

It’s about the shared experiences, not the stuff. It’s not the life you build with stuff, it’s the life you build with each other. And so, yeah, Friday night, date night. It always has been and it always will be. 

 

0:22:00 – Brian

We lived in New Orleans, we’d go to Texas Steakhouse Roadhouse, something. 

 

0:22:06 – Kayla

Texas Steakhouse. I think Texas Steakhouse we’d go to and we’d get a little meal yeah, and we’d go to a little. 

 

0:22:12 – Brian

I think we went to Walmart probably and then we’d come home. That was our date night and very, very rarely. 

 

0:22:20 – Kayla

If we had been gifted some money, we would do our bi-weekly dinner. We could not afford to go out every Friday night. We would go out every other Friday night and then we would go to a movie if we had been gifted some money. Otherwise it was game nights or watching a show or a movie at home. And yeah, I mean it was a very date nights now are. 

 

0:22:48 – Brian

we’ll go out to dinner and we might hit up a bookstore or go to Target or something. 

 

0:22:55 – Kayla

Come home, we’ll watch or we might go to a movie in the afternoon. Yeah, if we have a Friday afternoon. Sometimes we’ll go to a movie, but yeah, but it’s about the carving out space for each other. 

 

0:23:11 – Brian

I’m gonna say something here you have to enjoy the person before you enjoy the experience, because you need to be more in love with who you’re spending time with than being in love with what you’re trying to do, because that’s not where life is built. Yeah, so that was pretty good. You is smart. Stop. You need to carve out some sacred time for each other. Now. We spend a great deal of time together, so that’s not an issue for us, but now Friday nights are a sacred time for us. Yeah. 

 

0:23:47 – Kayla

There’s some eye rolling happening right now. I feel it. There’s some really, but you’re not chasing kids around and you’re not doing this and you’re not doing that. I get that, I do, but there were many years and there are many seasons where we are very, very busy, and yet it’s what we’ve prioritized. We have made sure that Friday night is sacred. We have often said no to things. 

 

Because that’s date night Because it’s date night and it’s not because we don’t love other people. It’s because we love each other. And there’s value in figuring out. How do you make this almost a habit at first and then it becomes something that you hate to miss it. 

 

0:24:34 – Brian

There’s a lot of truth to the statement that marriages work. Yeah, it’s a choice to love that person more than yourself, to lay down your own selfishness, to prioritize them over all the world’s demands, to place boundaries with others who don’t honor what you have. You’ve got to do that. So marriage is work. It doesn’t come easy. 

 

0:24:54 – Kayla

No. 

 

0:24:54 – Brian

But if you put the work in you know relationship does find a rhythm that works and brings joy. 

 

0:25:01 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

So, and it really is. It is a daily dying to yourself because I love me, some me. But if you love that person, you want what they want. If you love that person, then you are willing to prioritize their needs over your own and that becomes almost second nature in some ways. There are things that it’s just if you’re happy, I’m happy, and when you get to that place it doesn’t feel like as much work. I’m speaking to those of you who are fresh into marriage or fresh into a relationship. Yeah, it’s going to take some work and sometimes you’re going to feel like you’re giving a whole lot more than you’re getting. 

 

0:25:51 – Brian

But the end result is that if you really love that person and you want what’s best for them, then you’re not worried about what you get out of it, exactly right, and you’re going to make them a priority and you’re going to push some other things out of the way so you can spend time with that person. 

 

0:26:09 – Kayla

I think the last one we would share is dream together. 

 

0:26:14 – Brian

Dream on, dream on. Oh dear, just saying. 

 

0:26:26 – Kayla

And we’ve always made time for dreaming like places we want to go, things we want to accomplish and then chase as many of those dreams as you can. 

 

0:26:32 – Brian

Yes, miss Kayla has a dream of when we retire at some point we will have two labs, and she has a vision that one will be hers, one will be mine. I want to tell you right now they’ll both be hers. Okay, they will both be hers. 

 

0:26:44 – Kayla

Man. 

 

0:26:44 – Brian

I’ll let you pet them, but you need to figure out what you share in common as a dream and then go for it yeah. And yeah, you’re going to be afraid, yeah, things are going to go haywire, but keep pushing after it and that dream will actually draw you closer together. 

 

0:27:00 – Kayla

Yeah, and some of you are sitting there going. Well, that’s kind of contradictory to what you just said five minutes ago about keeping it simple. 

 

0:27:07 – Brian

Honey, we’re all full of contradictions. 

 

0:27:09 – Kayla

But the truth is it’s okay to have things that you aspire to, it’s okay to have trips that you want to take and memories are made on those trips, and it’s okay to have things that you want to enjoy in your journey. Don’t be ruled by them is what we were saying. But yeah, we have a dream to one day have a place on a lake, have two labs brother, sister maybe, I don’t know. 

 

0:27:38 – Brian

One of the rooms has to be a library. Yes, like to have a dark paneled room with a library that has a couple of leather chairs, some lamps that’s just a dream, but that’s something we look forward to down the road. 

 

0:27:50 – Kayla

Yeah, again, our whole point in sharing all this is where did you come from and where are you going? And, as we’re looking forward to our 32nd year, there’s just so much more to look forward to, and we hope that for all of you, yes, in your relationships. 

 

0:28:10 – Brian

Take the time to make it a priority. Yeah, say that. Hey, thanks for listening. We appreciate you tuning in this week. Share this episode with a friend or two. We’d appreciate that. 

 

0:28:20 – Kayla

Anybody want to get mugged? 

 

0:28:22 – Brian

No. Not that kind of mug? Oh, coffee mug, that kind of mug, yes, first of mug, oh, coffee mug, that kind of mug, yes. First of all, our friend Michelle won a coffee mug and a pack of stickers. And thank you, Michelle, from South Carolina, for listening. Yeah, but hey, you can win a coffee mug and a pack of stickers. All you have to do go to our website. 

 

0:28:44 – Kayla

Yep, it’s the peasandcarrotspodcast.com. If you’ll there, click the trivia button and then we always have like a random question. 

 

0:28:53 – Brian

This week’s question is what are you looking forward to this month? 

 

0:28:57 – Kayla

It’s getting a little warmer Spring is coming. I promise it’s coming. 

 

0:29:02 – Brian

Snowed here today. 

 

0:29:03 – Kayla

I know? Well, actually it snowed, then it sleeted, then the sunshine, then it snowed, then it sleeted, then the sunshine, then it snowed again, then it sleeted, and now it looks like I don’t know what it’s going to do. South Florida, yeah. 

 

0:29:13 – Brian

So, hey, you can win yourself a coffee mug and a pack of stickers. You go to peasandcarrotspodcast.com, you click the trivia button and when you get there, you answer this question. 

 

0:29:22 – Kayla

What are you looking forward to this month? You can search the Search the Peas and Carrots Podcast wherever you get your podcasts, or visit our website. Again, that’s peasandcarrotspodcast.com. When you do, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast. 

 

0:29:35 – Brian

Also find us on Facebook and Instagram, Just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast. 

 

0:29:40 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Growing through the challenges we face and finding hope along the way. That’s the Jesus Fix It Podcast with Jess. Check out jesusfixit.com or search Jesus Fix It wherever you listen to podcasts.

 

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