Season 3, Episode 26: When Silence Is Deafening

Can We Talk?
When Silence is Deafening - Episode Description

Join us for a whirlwind week as we share the highs and lows of returning home from an uplifting summer camp with our PAR family. From the unexpected demise of our AC unit and a stuck doorbell causing an electrical scare to a malfunctioning water heater and an ant invasion in our kitchen, it seemed like everything that could go wrong did. Despite the chaos, we reflect on the incredible experience of summer camp and the importance of community and support during trying times.

Then we explore the struggle of feeling, or not, God’s presence. We discuss the importance of reading scripture, praying, and recognizing daily mercies as evidence of God’s ongoing work, even when His presence isn’t felt. Reflecting on past experiences where God has been present fuels our current faith, even during difficult and confusing times, and we highlight the significance of accepting God’s sovereignty and trusting His decisions.

Lastly, we take you through our fun and eventful camp experience, starting with a barbecue by the lake, an engaging scavenger hunt, and a humorous noise complaint incident during our ladies’ pajama party.

When Silence is Deafening - Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 

 

0:00:11 – Kayla

Welcome to the peas and carrots podcast. 

 

0:00:13 – Brian

I’m Brian, I’m Kayla. Welcome to this week’s edition, mercy where do we begin? Y’all, it has been a week. It has. It has been a week If you’ve ever seen a meme of this gopher that just sits on a fence and screams. 

 

0:00:30 – Kayla

That’s what we feel like doing. 

 

0:00:31 – Brian

That’s exactly where we’ve been. 

 

0:00:33 – Kayla

But let’s start here so we’ll start with the reason that we kind of went AWOL. Last week Our PAR family came together for summer camp. Our PAR family came together for summer camp and what this is is it’s an opportunity to come together to do some mid-year training and culture building. We’ll share some stories about that in a few minutes, but the entire PAR team traveled to Tennessee Our WCQR team, who is in Johnson City, Tennessee. 

 

They hosted it, hosted us, planned it, planned it, hosted it Knocked it, hosted it, knocked it out of the park. Incredible, it was amazing. So that’s where we were last week. And then we came home on Thursday evening and what did we discover? 

 

0:01:16 – Brian

That our AC unit had died. 

 

0:01:18 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:01:19 – Brian

So we called the company that we normally work with. They come out Friday and they tell us it’s not an easy fix. The whole system has to be replaced. Yeah, when it went south is when we asked well, could you? When? And they said August 14th, which would be like three or four weeks of us living in a house with no air conditioning. 

 

0:01:41 – Kayla

And 90 degrees outside Now listen. 

 

0:01:43 – Brian

I understand that for some of y’all that’s not a big deal, but yet for Fat Boy here that’s a big deal. I’m just saying. 

 

0:01:49 – Kayla

It was a big deal for me too. We ended up, long story short, we ended up doing five nights with no air conditioning. God smiled on us even in the fact that the temperatures were weirdly low for July. We had some stormy evenings and then it went down to the 60s, but y’all our house got up to 81 degrees. 

 

0:02:12 – Brian

And yeah, and let me just say this I want to thank James Kramer with Radford Mechanical. We’ve known him and his family for. 

 

0:02:21 – Kayla

He fit us in during a very busy season for himself, spent an entire day and a morning to assure that we would have air conditioning before next week goes back to the 90s. 

 

0:02:35 – Brian

So, thank you, he fit us in. We would highly recommend him. I highly recommend him. 

 

0:02:41 – Kayla

And we are not getting any kind of discount for that. 

 

0:02:44 – Brian

So I just need to say that there is no, we did not of discount for that. So I just need to say that there is no. 

 

0:02:46 – Kayla

We did not get prompted to say that. 

 

0:02:48 – Brian

We wanted to say that when the original company came out to investigate what was going on, they rang the front doorbell and that doorbell is 20 years old. 

 

0:02:57 – Kayla

That doorbell got stuck, uh-huh well, he said there was a short in the wire between the doorbell and when you walk upstairs, you, when you walk upstairs, you could hear it. 

 

0:03:07 – Brian

And then you started smelling electrical burning, went back downstairs and we unstuck the doorbell, got it stopped and whatever. That electrical burning stopped and so we had to call another company to come out Replace our unit and replace the doorbell. And one of us was always home I think that happened on a Friday, so one of us was always home on Friday, Saturday, Sunday, because we didn’t want somebody coming up ringing the doorbell and having a fire, having a fire, yeah, and so that got changed out Monday morning. So there’s that. That got fixed, that’s done. And our water heater didn’t give us hot water, but that was a simple fix. 

 

0:03:44 – Kayla

we got that done but we thought we were looking at a new water heater. And then the thing that broke me all of that ac unit, okay, that stinks, but roll on um water heater, man, that’s a cold bath. Roll on doorbell. Thank god the house didn’t burn down while we were gone. Ant-palooza. We wake up yesterday morning and it’s as if ants have stormed the gates. The kitchen is covered in ants. 

 

0:04:14 – Brian

And I just need to say this is that my wife keeps a very clean house. 

 

0:04:17 – Kayla

Okay, they apparently came in with the change in weather. I read and learned that ants will they like air conditioning too? Well. 

 

0:04:29 – Brian

Can you blame them? 

 

0:04:30 – Kayla

It went from being very, very hot to very, very wet. We started getting rain every day, and so I read that they were trying to find somewhere outside of the rain and they were getting in and they found your kitchen. And I just I looked at you and I said I’m done, I just I can’t handle it anymore. But you went and bought this stuff called stem there was this stuff at Target and, knock on wood, we’ve not had any ants today. They were all gone as of this morning. 

 

0:05:00 – Brian

And then I bought some stuff for outside. You sprayed outside. 

 

0:05:04 – Kayla

So it has been a first world problem kind of week. Let us say that Even in the midst of all of it, we are both okay. Our home is nice and cool. There were no health effects of being in a very hot house, which I was worried about for you, so I was not sleeping at night because I was afraid you were going to have a sugar crash or something. I had Hampton Inn in the back of my mind that you know. We had a place we could go if we had to. It was just a lot in a very short amount of time and the reality is we can see how the things that took place at summer camp the worship, the community, the culture that was built, the love that was poured out between team members the enemy didn’t like that and he came out and he came out, and it wasn’t just us. 

 

A lot of our team members are walking through some hardcore stuff coming out of camp, so we would welcome your prayers. We are fine. Our house no longer smells like it’s burning and it’s cool. 

 

0:06:12 – Brian

And the team will be fine. 

 

0:06:13 – Kayla

They will be. It’s just a lot. So we will share some fun stories about camp in just a few minutes. 

 

0:06:23 – Brian

Silence. I do not enjoy silence and if we’re having a conversation with somebody and there’s like that awkward silence, I can’t. That’s a recipe that like we’re not going to be friends. I don’t sit here and just look at somebody for 10 minutes. Somebody needs to talk, but what happens? How do you deal with, how do you move forward when you feel that God is silent or you can’t feel him? 

 

0:06:55 – Kayla

And this is very honest and kind of scary to admit because, first of all, what I do in my work, I’m there and I admitted that to you the other night I feel and there’s a key word in there I feel God is silent and I’m really struggling with not feeling his voice or his presence in my life. 

 

0:07:21 – Brian

There’s some Kleenex. 

 

0:07:22 – Kayla

So we’ve talked about this. No, I’m hoping not to cry. 

 

0:07:25 – Brian

Well, you’ve already started. I can see life. 

 

0:07:26 – Kayla

So we’ve talked about this. No, I’m hoping not to cry, but I am stuck in a place of believing that God is for everyone else and this is not a therapy session. 

 

0:07:39 – Brian

So don’t charge each of you $125. 

 

0:07:42 – Kayla

You’re not going to get a bill. 

 

0:07:44 – Brian

Oh, I’d like to, I mean help out the ministry. 

 

0:07:48 – Kayla

What did you remind me? So, for those who perhaps have either been there yourself or you are there, that you also are struggling with feeling that God is just not active, you’re not seeing or believing or feeling his strength in your life, what are some key things that you’ve reminded me this week, and I’m clinging to them, but I’m still struggling. 

 

0:08:13 – Brian

First thing I would say is listen. Now, this is for me because I’m a fixer. I mean, as soon as you start talking to me, I had six or seven solutions in my head and I started talking and the first thing would be would you just listen? 

 

0:08:28 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:08:29 – Brian

Okay. So whoever’s going through this, talk to somebody, but make sure that they’re a listener. So here’s some things that I tried to nudge you on. First of all, RC Sproul said this who God is doesn’t depend on how I feel about him. 

 

0:08:48 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:08:49 – Brian

He’s still God. That should give me hope and confidence, because my feelings can be all over the map. Let me give you an example. You ever read the Psalms? Yeah, in this first Psalm, David’s like oh, you’re the greatest God, oh, you’re great, I’m worshiping you. In the next Psalm, he’s in the pit. Yeah, somebody just throw dirt on me and bury me because God hates me. So my first encouragement to you was read the Psalms, because it will tell you that you’re not the only human who has ever dealt with this. 

 

0:09:22 – Kayla

Which lends to keep praying, keep reading His Word and something that you have said to me many times remember in the dark what you learned in the light, and that’s tough when you are in a season that, if you’ve never been here, I actually do pray, that you never have to. It is a terrible feeling that God is just void and I’m reminding myself every single day of his word. I’m reminding myself of how he has shown up in the past, of the things you encouraged me and I do. I journal every day, but you have reminded me to specifically journal. What are the things that today prove to me? 

 

the tiny mercies that, and I think we all kind of get on autopilot. We’re living our life. Maybe we take a little too much credit for it. Maybe we believe that we can somehow earn it. 

 

You wake up in the morning, or if I’m good enough if I do, enough if I, and none of that changes. And maybe that’s some of the things he’s trying to remind me. But I keep picking up my Bible and I keep talking to him. Sometimes it feels like it’s bouncing off the ceiling, but I can’t just stop doing that, as hard as the outcome may feel. 

 

0:11:05 – Brian

The Puritans actually taught that God will sometimes remove his ability for you to actually feel him, and so that, as a result, you become more dependent on him. So that’s what they taught, and it comes from the Psalms, actually, that you see that. And so here’s what’s amazing is that you want to sense his presence, you want to feel again that he cares, and so what are you doing? You’re reading his word, you’re praying, and so I guess, in a sense and this is where you get into like, in other words, why is God doing this? I don’t know the answer to that. 

 

0:11:38 – Kayla

And I don’t either, but not yet, but yet. 

 

0:11:41 – Brian

I can say this I see you pursuing him, I see you reading, I see you praying, so I can see evidence of what he’s doing. I don’t know his actual motive. 

 

0:11:56 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:11:57 – Brian

But let me say this his love for you hasn’t changed. His grace and mercy is still there and I encourage you and everybody else who’s going through this I do this all the time because I have more doubt than like I do. Faith Write down every day tiny mercies like I woke up, I have health, I have a job, I have the most amazing wife in the world. I mean I could just keep going with all this. Our home, I’m saved, I’m not going to hell, I will never have to face the wrath of God. You just keep going and you’re going to realize he is there, but I may not be able to necessarily feel him. 

 

0:12:41 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

So, another thing that you reminded me and again, obviously you are my safe space is we don’t live in a vacuum. We aren’t meant to carry things solely on our own, and you could tell that I was really in a hard struggle and I shared my doubts with you because you are a trusted confidant. Find someone in your life that you can just lay your soul bare, because you can’t always pick yourself back up and you’re being very patient. I can tell you just want to fix this, you want it to just be a thing in the past and I know in time that it will work out. I’m believing for that. But also keep leaning in to someone else. Don’t try to handle all of it by yourself, because that’s just going to lend to more feeling oriented thinking, and that’s another thing that you keep reminding me. Don’t trust your feelings. 

 

0:13:55 – Brian

I think that there’s a lesson here is that when you are struggling, don’t be Job’s friends. Don’t show up and tell that person well, here’s what God’s doing. You just need to sit in the dirt with the person and let them cry and let them get to about Job 41 or like Job 42. And that’s where God shows up and says all right, you ready to talk, put your big boy pants on. And that’s literally what shows up and says all right, you’re ready to talk, but you’re big boy pants on. And that’s literally what God says to Job. And so my job is to sit in the dirt with you, walk with you every day, listen, pray for you and just keep looking forward. I will say this as the last thing for you and anybody else who’s walking through this Look in the rearview mirror, because what he’s done in the past can be fuel for your faith in the present. 

 

0:14:50 – Kayla

Hmm. 

 

0:14:52 – Brian

Think about this Moses and the Israelites are at the Red Sea. They can’t go forward because you have an Egyptian army who’s coming up behind them and they can’t go backwards. I would have been flipping out, I would have just been losing my mind. But there’s one thing they had just come from Egypt, where they saw plagues and miracles and where God had delivered them. So by looking at the past, they had fuel for faith there in the present, and that’s I’m just saying. I mean that this isn’t easy. 

 

0:15:27 – Kayla

And another truth that’s hard to swallow is don’t look at what he hasn’t done. That’s hard to sit here and confess my disappointment, my frustration, my, but God, I did this, and do you care? Or my, but I have been faithful in this, and do you care? It takes nothing away from who he is, and that’s a head knowledge that I’ve grasped. It’s something that my heart is still wrestling with is but why haven’t you done X, Y, Z? And he may never do that, because that’s not who he is, never do that because that’s not who he is.

 

0:16:16 – Brian

I’ll just sprinkle in a little scripture. It says that he shows mercy on whom he shows mercy and he doesn’t on whom he doesn’t. And that’s his prerogative to be God. We want to actually control him when he’s the one who’s actually sovereign. So, baby, I just want to tell you this I love you, I’ll walk with you every step of the way, and I love seeing God at work in your heart, even though I know it’s painful. 

 

0:16:40 – Kayla

Right back at you. Okay, so before we all need to like go drown our sorrows, let’s go back to camp. That was. Thank you all for listening to that. I know that was a lot of a lot. 

 

0:16:56 – Brian

No, it wasn’t, it was beautiful. 

 

0:16:57 – Kayla

Camp was fun. 

 

0:17:00 – Brian

The entire team comes together under one roof twice a year. 

 

0:17:04 – Kayla

It’s for like a day and a half. 

 

0:17:06 – Brian

This camp and then at the first of the year we do what’s called Vision Week. So this was camp and people arrive Tuesday evening for dinner and a barbecue out at a lake and then we leave Thursday around noon. 

 

0:17:19 – Kayla

Noon yeah. 

 

0:17:21 – Brian

And we stayed at a beautiful place down in Johnson City. 

 

0:17:24 – Kayla

Oh, my word, If you are ever there, there is a hotel. Now, listen, I’m going to go ahead and tell you we got a discount because we had such a large group and we have a Ronda Lacey. We stayed at the Carnegie Hotel. In Johnson City, Tennessee, which every single one of us, our jaws dropped when we walked in it was gorgeous Y’all. I had a clawfoot tub. Why is that a big deal? Because I’m a girl and I like baths. 

 

0:17:51 – Brian

Okay, but anyway, Tuesday evening, If I got in that thing, you have to put butter on the side. It but anyway, Tuesday evening, if I got in that thing, you have to put butter on the side. Just get me out of it. 

 

0:17:58 – Kayla

Go ahead. You made a new friend. We had our kickoff with a barbecue and a concert led by Ben Fuller. 

 

0:18:07 – Brian

He’s a CCM artist and he’s had who I Am was number one song and I mean he’s got other great songs out. But I learned we’re sitting there chatting and he loves Abraham Lincoln and I said shut up. He pulls out his phone and starts showing me all this. He’s got pictures of Lincoln. He’s got memorabilia. Well, we sat there and chatted. I bet you 45. We exchanged phone numbers. We text every single day about Lincoln. 

 

0:18:37 – Kayla

Thank you, Jesus if you have the opportunity to say thank you Jesus, because you’re you’re able to talk Lincoln with someone else and it’s wonderful now. 

 

0:18:48 – Brian

Now you’re about to have this, now you’re about to hit Kayla’s passion point, because we went to a restaurant called Cootie Brown’s. And what was dessert? Let’s just go ahead and skip. 

 

0:18:58 – Kayla

Y’all do not skip the key lime pie If you are in Johnson City and you go to Cootie Brown’s, which it is a legit restaurant. Everything is made on site, it’s fresh, it’s incredible. 

 

0:19:11 – Brian

I could not have the key lime pie. 

 

0:19:13 – Kayla

He could not have it, but I cheated on my diet. 

 

0:19:15 – Brian

But it was the size of your head. 

 

0:19:17 – Kayla

It was massive, I couldn’t finish it. 

 

0:19:19 – Brian

I could only eat half of it. On a scale of one to ten. How good was it?

 

0:19:22 – Kayla

A twelve. Wow. It had a layer of very tart key lime and then it had a layer that was more mousse-like, smooth and creamy. 

 

0:19:30 – Brian

Hairy mousse. 

 

0:19:32 – Kayla

Oh yuck. 

 

0:19:33 – Brian

Did it have horns? Oh, you meant moose is in like a little ice, yeah not that, oh, okay. 

 

0:19:38 – Kayla

So Okay, we had a game night, oh, and a PJ. Hang on, I’m confessing, the guys had a game night, the girls had a PJ party. It was not the guys that got a noise complaint. 

 

0:19:54 – Brian

Yeah, so the phone rings. This is Jordan, from the front desk. 

 

0:19:58 – Kayla

We’ve had a complaint about your room and all the noise coming from it, so yeah, he did tell us, though, that quiet hours did not begin until 11, and it was only 930. So if we were planning to go past 11, we were going to need to move, and I said, oh, we’ll be done by then. And we were going to need to move and I said, oh, we’ll be done by then. In case you think that all we did was goof off, we spent an entire morning with Dr Natalie Pickering, wasn’t it? 

 

0:20:26 – Brian

Lauren Pickering. 

 

0:20:28 – Kayla

Oh, I thought her name was Natalie. 

 

0:20:30 – Brian

Her name is Dr Pickering. There we go, okay. Pickering. There we go, okay. And she taught us all about the Enneagram and what it reveals about us and how it helps us work together as a team, and different personalities, and what we like and don’t like and how to approach people. 

 

0:20:45 – Kayla

It was quite eye-opening to learn how we all mesh. 

 

0:20:49 – Brian

Yes. 

 

0:20:50 – Kayla

And I know that the Enneagram is controversial with some people. Enneagram is controversial with some people, but using it as a tool to be able to communicate and to be able to respect each other’s boundaries and the team that works well together accomplishes more and she helped us to see something. I mean, she nailed me to the wall and if any of you are huge Enneagram people, I’m a one wing two. 

 

0:21:16 – Brian

I’m an eight with a seven wing. 

 

0:21:19 – Kayla

But what I learned, and this is what was just mind boggling for me, even as a one wing two, when I’m at my healthiest, I trend towards a seven. You have a seven, and both of my dearest, closest work confidants have a seven, and so I am surrounded by sevens. If I’m at my best, that’s where I trend towards. 

 

0:21:45 – Brian

So that was comforting and kind of wild. I’m an eight with a seven wing, which means I want to change the world. I have big dreams, I have big pictures. Yeah, okay, I don’t do details, so this is what cracked me up my wife, who is my number one confidant, is an Enneagram one with a two wing. All about the details, all about them. Adam McCain, who is the VP of operations, who is my number one here in the organization, he’s a one with a two wing. 

 

So when, I start presenting him plans, he’ll say Bina, what about this? How will we do this? How are we going to scale this? 

 

0:22:24 – Kayla

And then, what is your executive assistant? 

 

0:22:27 – Brian

Adam Reed is a two with a one wing. It takes three people to wrestle me to the ground to keep me alive? Yes, it does. 

 

0:22:37 – Kayla

It was fascinating. It really was. We did an actual scavenger hunt where we had an hour and a half and we had to visit. So I will just admit to some of the things that I did. We got points. We could choose from an entire list of things. 

 

0:22:53 – Brian

I’m sitting in my Kia and I see you piggybacking on the back of a team member going into a store in. 

 

0:23:01 – Kayla

Johnson City, but I got points for doing it. You had to go in one door and out the other, piggybacking. You had to ask a stranger, I had to ride through the parking lot in a shopping cart and shout to infinity and beyond. 

 

I had to sing with a stranger. One of our team members had to pretend that she was a dog and be led along. So this was, and again, we got points for each of these crazy things that we did. It was a whole lot of fun, but we will end with this. Not to end on a serious note, but it is. One of our team members actually got hurt. She fell and she is actually in the hospital and recovering from a broken leg and a broken hand and even in that we have seen how God has worked and God has brought his family together to take care of her. 

 

But if you would pray for her, her name is Donna. She’s one of my favorite humans in the entire world. 

 

0:24:04 – Brian

She’s amazing. 

 

0:24:05 – Kayla

And she’s hopefully moving to a rehab center any day now. We just need a bed to come available. But, as you are listening, if you would just keep her in your prayers. This was scary and she’s a rock star. 

 

0:24:22 – Brian

She has the sweetest spirit. 

 

0:24:25 – Kayla

I’m not going to say that I would be as content as she has been. So, yeah, that was hard, but it was a wonderful time with all of our team until then. But it was a wonderful time with all of our team until then and we have some pretty funny core memories that we’re carrying away. 

 

0:24:46 – Brian

So, hey, we’d like to share a little bit of peas and carrots with you. We’d like to send you a coffee mug, a notepad, a pen and some Cute little stickers, Cute little stickers and a sticky note. 

 

0:24:55 – Kayla

There’s a sticky note too. Really, Do we send them out a sticky note? 

 

0:24:56 – Brian

There’s a sticky note too. Really, Do we send them out a sticky note? There’s a notepad with sticky notes on it. Oh yeah, a notepad. 

 

0:25:01 – Kayla

So the first two people that go to our website. We say this every week. There’s a trivia button there. If you will click that trivia button and to find that you go to peasandcarrotspodcast.com. If you will click that trivia button, there is a question. 

 

0:25:18 – Brian

And this week’s question is when did we go for summer camp? What’s the name of the town? 

 

0:25:21 – Kayla

What town were we in? Yeah, so again go to peasandcarrotspodcast.com. 

 

0:25:26 – Brian

Click on the trivia button and answer this question. 

 

0:25:28 – Kayla

Where did B and K go for summer camp? What town were we in? 

 

0:25:32 – Brian

Hey, thanks for listening and you can search Peas and Carrots Podcast. 

 

0:25:36 – Kayla

Wherever you get your podcasts, visit our website, which is peasandcarrotspodcast.com, and when you do, please don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast. 

 

0:25:44 – Brian

You can follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast. And please don’t forget to pray for Donna. 

 

0:25:53 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Growing through the challenges we face and finding hope along the way. That’s the Jesus Fix It Podcast with Jess. Check out jesusfixit.com or search Jesus Fix It wherever you listen to podcasts.

 

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Season 3, Episode 13: Steadfast in Suffering

Can We Talk?
Steadfast in Suffering - Episode Description
Every so often, life throws at us challenges that test our resilience and compel us to find strength we never knew we had. That’s the essence of the remarkable conversation I had with my executive assistant, Adam Read, and his wife Trisha, who joined me to share their journey through Adam’s unexpected medical issues and the profound impact on their marriage and perspective on life. Their candid account, ripe with trials and an unwavering bond, reveals how they’ve managed to navigate the rough waters with grace and a faith that has been their anchor. Our discussion doesn’t just stop at their story—it extends to the influence such experiences have on the entire family, shaping aspirations and strengthening character, especially in their children.
We then change gears slightly to embrace our Peas and Carrots Podcast Trivia Giveaway, an engaging and heartening segment designed to connect our community through shared words of comfort. I encourage our listeners to participate by sharing Bible verses that resonate during trying times, with some delightful prizes up for grabs. The power of scripture and collective wisdom stands at the core of this chapter, a testament to the solace we find in unity and shared experience. So grab a cozy spot, and join us on this episode that’s not just about storytelling, but also about building a community that uplifts and supports one another through every twist and turn life may present.
Steadfast in Suffering - Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 

 

0:00:11 – Kayla

Welcome to the Peas and Carrots Podcast. I’m Brian and I’m Kayla. Good to have you along this week, and this is going to be a very special part one of two podcasts that we had the privilege of sitting down with your executive assistant, Adam Read, and his wife Trisha, and so we’ll get to that in a minute, but let’s start here. What’s up in the Cabbage Patch? 

 

0:00:37 – Brian

We’re very busy right now. 

 

0:00:39 – Kayla

Yes, we are. 

 

0:00:40 – Brian

We’re in the middle of our fundraising season. Well, actually it just began. It’s like a week old, I guess. 

 

0:00:46 – Kayla

Yeah, we will have three weeks to go as of the time this drops, so yeah lots of caffeine. 

 

0:00:52 – Brian

We’re in the thick of it seeing God move. Very little sleep.

 

0:00:56 – Kayla

So yeah, it’s good and in the midst of all this, for those of you who know me or have followed us for a while in this crazy adventure, I love sweets, but I’ve been trying really, really hard to choose fresh food and not junk, and man, this is hard. So, yeah, even chocolate, which we took like a three-year hiatus from each other. 

 

0:01:29 – Brian

We broke up for a while because of COVID. Are y’all back on speaking terms? 

 

0:01:33 – Kayla

Certain kinds of chocolate, yeah. 

 

0:01:36 – Brian

But I don’t crave it like I not really, not like I used to. You’re eating this hue chocolate. 

 

0:01:43 – Kayla

It’s pretty good, it’s all natural, it doesn’t have a lot of additives and it’s dark chocolate. I can only do dark chocolate now. But yeah, so there’s this meme, all of that, to say this it’s a dog and he’s sitting in front of a wall with a hole in it and it says I miss carbs, I ate a wall. So I feel like that’s who I am right now. 

 

0:02:09 – Brian

Yes, preach sister. So Sunday morning we were leaving for church and let me just say this I love pins and Adam Read. 

 

0:02:20 – Kayla

You have a little bit of a fetish over pins. 

 

0:02:23 – Brian

Adam Read, who you will hear from in a few moments. He’s my executive assistant. He also is one of my very best friends in the world. For Christmas he got me a Darth Vader pen and I loved it. I mean it writes well. I mean I love a good pen. So I went and ordered I found out where they came from Went and got the Kylo Ren pen, the R2-D2 pen and an extra Darth Vader one. Well, Sunday morning I just put the Kylo Ren pen in my Bible. 

 

0:02:54 – Kayla

And I am sitting in our women’s Sunday school class. 

 

0:02:57 – Brian

So I get to church, I drop you off at the door, we get to church and I go to the back seat to get my Bible out to walk in for Sunday school. I don’t see the pen. Well, I look all over that truck, I look outside the truck and I go into church and I’m walking by your Sunday school class. 

 

0:03:12 – Kayla

Stick your head in and say Kay, do you have my Kylo Ren pen? Do you know where it is? 

 

0:03:18 – Brian

And five ladies’ heads, five or six ladies’ heads. They turned and looked at me and our director of ministries Her name is Christy Schrader she says I think that’s fantastic that you have a Kylo Ren pen and she says, would you like a normal pen? I said no, it’s not a Kylo Ren pen, but good news. 

 

0:03:37 – Kayla

We found your pen in the front yard when we got home from church. 

 

0:03:43 – Brian

So, yeah, I’m pretty happy about that. So we spent some time with Adam and Trisha Read, okay, and we’re going to introduce them to you. He will tell his story and then we’re going to come back and we’re going to comment on some things that they said. We think that this is going to be a powerful, powerful time and, as promised, we are joined by Adam and Trisha Read. Thanks for joining us today, guys. 

 

0:04:14 – Adam

It’s good to be here. Thank you for having us, Brian and Kayla. 

 

0:04:18 – Brian

Let me just say this Adam Read is the director of digital media for the ministry that we serve at, positive alternative radio, and his other role, which is his cross to bear, is you are my executive assistant, yeah so I get a break from you during the day so I try and make your you know absorb some of it so that when he comes home, at night. 

 

0:04:43 – Adam

Thank you, it’s a little easier for you. 

 

0:04:44 – Brian

Hopefully, this is my life. Y’all, this is my life. You’re so blessed, Brian, so Trisha and I try to take some of this off of you during the day, okay. 

 

0:04:54 – Trish

We attempt to balance it out there. 

 

0:04:59 – Brian

So Adam and I, we are great friends, but I also need you to know that, Adam I’m talking to the audience right now, but you also have a medical condition, and if you could tell us that story. And then we want to ask Trisha how y’all have seen God work through this in your marriage. 

 

0:05:22 – Adam

Sure, yeah, I think it might be helpful to start just kind of explaining what the story is of. The condition is so a little bit of background into what my life is like, and my wife is such a support through all of it, and has been even before we were married, as things started to show up. So I started having some medical issues when I was about 16 and really didn’t know that they were related to anything. It was just kind of like, okay, that’s odd, and we just started to think that it was a one-time issue. And then, about the time I was 20, shortly after, well, a month after really, we started dating, I had my lung collapse once and I was like, okay, that was another really odd thing, it was just spontaneous, it just collapsed. 

 

0:06:06 – Kayla

For a 20-year-old yeah. 

 

0:06:07 – Adam

Yeah, I mean, it’s just your middle of college. You think you’re kind of invincible at that point, you know like you’re supposed to be at your peak of health or so, and just it kind of shuts you down. Ended up having surgery for that. Things looked like they recovered and then, a month to the day from the first time it collapsed, it collapsed again, oh my. So they ended up doing the same surgery again, but it didn’t work the second time and so they ended up doing a very invasive surgery where they went in through, they cut some ribs, went in and worked on the lung itself to actually staple off a bunch of what essentially most people would think of as like blisters across the lung. But I couldn’t collapse and during that time I was dating my wife and her and her family were in the area where the college were and she stuck with me through all of that, even got. Did you get a speeding ticket? 

 

0:06:57 – Trish

A warning. I just got a warning. 

 

0:06:59 – Adam

On the way to the hospital. She was so intent on coming to see me, Brian, I want you to know she cared. Would it have been worth a ticket? So intent on coming to see me, Brian? I want you to know she cares. Would it have been worth a ticket? 

 

0:07:06 – Brian

Well maybe it’s just. 

 

0:07:09 – Trish

Oh I like that. 

 

0:07:10 – Brian

She paused. She paused, I like that. 

 

0:07:13 – Trish

I think maybe the more important thing is I probably was late, which maybe is something. 

 

0:07:18 – Adam

Late to what. 

 

0:07:18 – Trish

To like. 

 

0:07:19 – Adam

Class. 

 

0:07:20 – Trish

To like when I was supposed to be there, oh so when you were supposed to be here. 

 

0:07:23 – Adam

Well, I would have forgiven you for that, but I might not have to struggle with that delay. So yeah, she was there through. All of that Ended up was actually kind of funny. After I had my second surgery it was a very long recovery just to be able to get up and walk around again, really because of the amount of work they did. So it was multiple months and she worked at camp that summer away from her home, just a few miles away, and I actually lived at her house with her parents and so I got to know her parents real well and they got to know me and they still somehow put up with me after all that and liked me. 

 

0:07:54 – Trish

Maybe like you better. They like me better than you. 

 

0:07:58 – Adam

I don’t think so. 

 

0:07:59 – Brian

I don’t think so. 

 

0:08:00 – Adam

But yeah, so that kind of started it and honestly we didn’t know what caused all that. But we kind of looked around a little bit but thought, okay, that’s probably over now. And then just through the years till now it’s just kind of been a constant roll of things. We had a lot of issues come up. I’ve had over a dozen surgeries now, including two brain surgeries, three lung surgeries and multiple other stuff, you know, cutting bones, connecting, reconnecting stuff that’s coming out of socket. So it took us. I think we decided we’re talking about it last night. Was it like? 

 

0:08:39 – Trish

Around 2013. 

 

0:08:40 – Adam

2013. So it took us like 13 years to finally get a diagnosis, because it was a rare disease. 

 

0:08:46 – Kayla

Oh, wow. 

 

0:08:47 – Adam

And so it’s called Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. Eds is the short term and it’s a little bit more commonly known now because there’s been some awareness projects around it and there’s various types of it. But for me it’s affected my whole body, so I live every day in pain. I can’t remember what a day without pain is like. And then God brought you into my life, and then my pain tripled. Okay, maybe not that bad. 

 

0:09:19 – Kayla

I have to interject here, though, in all seriousness and I can’t speak for Trisha again home life. You know you’re entitled to be grumpy there. No-transcript, in as much pain as you wrestle. I just need to interject that, that you are one of the kindest and most gracious and, again, I know we all have our moments. So I’m sure Trish is sitting there going. Are we talking about the same? 

 

0:09:45 – Trish

No, actually I think especially specifically like hospital situations, when things are serious, like he gets calmer, I necessarily but she’s a great advocate you get calmer. 

 

0:09:56 – Adam

She’s a huge advocate for me and I’m more like, okay, like I process it and I actually get humorous at that. 

 

0:10:04 – Trish

Like it’s really bad If I get really nervous. 

 

0:10:06 – Brian

So when you’re facing death. 

 

0:10:07 – Adam

you’re cracking jokes. If it’s that serious, I’m cracking jokes and then she knows I’m worried. 

 

0:10:13 – Trish

Okay. But then there’s an aspect where then I kind of get into like, okay, let’s get things done. 

 

0:10:19 – Adam

But she’s been a great advocate for me when I’ve not been able to speak for myself, literally about what’s going on? It’s been a huge thing to have her and her support. Like me, being who I am today is obviously our savior, is who we rely on and all of it, but it is a huge part to my wife. 

 

0:10:37 – Trish

I think we all have our moments. 

 

0:10:38 – Adam

Yeah, absolutely on in all of it, but it is a huge part to my wife. I think we all have our moments. Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. I mean I have a rib that’s constantly out of place and other ones that separate, if I move around too much, from the sternum or from the spine, so it’s like every breath is painful, like it’s just the way I live. And since then I’ve been diagnosed. Well, I have three rare diseases. So I’m just trying to add up and be a little more weird than I already am, Brian. 

 

0:11:05 – Brian

So yeah, nothing on that. What are those? 

 

0:11:07 – Adam

I’m trying to be really nice to you. It’s not working. 

 

0:11:11 – Brian

I can see it in your face. You don’t have a straight face. What are those three diseases? 

 

0:11:14 – Adam

So there’s of course the EDS, and then I have autoimmune autonomic ganglionopathy. 

 

0:11:22 – Kayla

Which is that sounds terrible? 

 

0:11:22 – Adam

Yeah, your body is attacking. 

 

0:11:23 – Kayla

Itself right. 

 

0:11:24 – Adam

Yourself and eventually affects the small nerve fiber system. So it creates neuropathy in my heart, in my blood vessels, like how your body communicates to those to make them contract and regulate blood pressure or to like keep the blood flow flowing correctly throughout the whole body doesn’t work properly and that’s why I have the monthly infusions that I have. They don’t do anything for the pain or whatever. It’s just to help the body not attack itself as much, so it can kind of attack the other things that I get, and then the other ones are bleeding disorder. That’s rare. 

 

0:11:55 – Brian

Yeah, let me go back to what Kayla said. I’ve never heard you grumble. 

 

0:12:01 – Kayla

I’ve never heard you complain. 

 

0:12:02 – Brian

I’d be a walking complaint department. I just want to say that, and so part of the reason why we wanted to invite you two on the podcast is because you’re both very humble. You lean into Christ more than I’ve ever seen. I mean, I don’t understand that. So here’s what I want to ask you to how do you do that? 

 

0:12:26 – Adam

Well, first of all I would say I don’t feel like I’m those things. I feel like I have a long way to go in any of those areas. I think when you have nowhere else to turn, you’re going to turn to various things. You have various options anyway to try and escape when you’re in pain. One is to just dull it by looking for hope, other places, right, and that never lasts, and I think there’s been times that I’ve done that, you know, like tried to find relief and other things that could distract from the pain. 

 

I think the other thing is trying to put your hope in things that the world holds on to and you realize when you’re in a condition like mine, that is only going to get worse over time. Those things aren’t going to last either. So it kind of gives you a different perspective on life in some ways. The things that I would normally have held on to in life the Lord has, because of his graciousness and allowing me to even have the stuff that I have and I say that in a kind of a weird way because that sounds odd, but it’s true he’s pulled some of the stuff that I would have naturally held on to away from me and that’s been not fun. That’s been a whole lot of hard days, wouldn’t you say, babe? 

 

0:13:36 – Trish

Yeah, I think one of the things we talked about with the kids last night we were asking them and they said, like we didn’t really have a choice, like it wasn’t like we picked this and so from that, then knowing that all good things, but also all things, are from our heavenly father. So just seeing that as like okay, it’s not us choosing one thing or the other, just seeing that as like okay, it’s not us choosing one thing or the other, it’s that we’ve been given this and attempting to steward it well. 

 

0:14:00 – Brian

The Lord’s given us this and we’re attempting to steward it. Well, yeah, how do you look at your husband, who you know is in pain, and say, okay, god, you’ve given this to us. Help me see this as something good and to steward it, because I find that kind of faith amazing. 

 

0:14:19 – Trish

I think it’s part of what we have like, just in our faith, trusting in Christ, and if we trust him right for eternity, right, so if I’m trusting him for eternity, then I’m also trusting him for today. So if he’s big enough for our eternity, then he’s enough for what he has given today. And I think, just remembering like the world is broken right, like all of us live in a broken world, so our broken is every day, each of us. So when we say like well, well, this situation, like he’s not grumpy or whatever, but I also see it as like, okay, we have a choice today. 

 

0:14:55 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:14:55 – Trish

Just like what I tell my kids every day Okay, you have a choice, what are you going to choose? And so, if I’m living for myself, yeah, this isn’t fair, I don’t want to do this, and we have those. We have to fight that. It’s not that it’s not a battle, but it’s making sure our perspective is correct of like. I don’t deserve easy. That’s not what Christ has called us to.

 

0:15:15 – Adam

Yeah, and I think we’ve kind of come back many times to like, if I understand scripture correctly, what I deserve is death and separation from God forever in hell. That’s what I deserve, and so anything less than that is his grace. And that still doesn’t sound fun and cheery sometimes. Like we want, like we want always, like well the gospel, everything will be great. Well, the gospel doesn’t say that life on this earth is going to be all roses and happiness. And you know, rainbow, like it’s going to be hard, like it makes it clear that life on this earth is still going to be hard. And, as a believer, there’ll be difficult things. And I think some of the hardest things we had to wrestle with is like the death of what you thought were dreams about what life would be like, like thinking like life’s going to be good. 

 

0:15:59 – Brian

You got stuck with me. 

 

0:16:01 – Adam

Yeah, that On an everyday, Brian, 3 am to 5 am on my knees, but no, it’s like life is not what we expected. It. It’s just so different. 

 

0:16:13 – Trish

I think we say this is plan what. 

 

0:16:19 – Adam

Yeah, we’re like, are we through the alphabet? And starting over again on what we thought? Because then you get a new diagnosis and you’re like, okay, well, then this changes. And struggling with you know, like okay, my kid wants me to go play ball with them and not able to do that right now. Or it’s just those little life moments that you think about and you’re like, okay, like I don’t want my kids to have to deal with this issue, like I’d rather them just have a normal dad. 

 

And I struggled with that for quite some time. But I mean, this is a very simple truth. I don’t know why it took me so long to realize it and why it’s taken me so long to go. Like I have to remind myself of it is that God chose to put them in this family and he has promised to give me grace for whatever he puts in my path. He has chosen to put them here and he has promised to give them grace for what he puts in their path, and part of that is the family he’s placed them into, and so we’ve seen God work in ways in their lives through it too, even though it’s not always been easy. 

 

0:17:12 – Brian

How do the kids respond to this? 

 

0:17:14 – Trish

Before we started recording, you were telling us a story about yeah, so we have, you know, just as any like, they’re all completely different. So we have one that is absolutely fascinated with the medical field and she wants to conquer, like, she wants to figure out and solve problems. So I think some of that is because of what she has seen, and she loves to see when IVs are put in and all the details she would put it in herself if we’d let her.

 

And we have one that is incredibly just. She has a huge heart and hates to see anyone suffer, and so her processing looks differently. So, in those aspects of giving them space, first of all, to be able to discuss how they feel, what they think, but also encouraging like, hey, it’s okay to struggle, yeah, giving openness of like, yeah, it stinks, it’s hard, and not pretending it’s not, yeah, and I think that’s one thing I’ve had to work through over the years. 

 

0:18:10 – Adam

I used to think I had to have like some sort of Pollyanna attitude toward it, like rejoice in all things, Like Like I just need to be happy about it and be like well, this is what God’s given me. This is great guys. You know like just this is super, it’s OK, and just over the years coming around, like no, it stinks. 

 

0:18:30 – Kayla

But God’s given us an array of emotions. He doesn’t expect us just to be joyful all the time. 

 

0:18:36 – Adam

Yeah, Like I can of emotions. He doesn’t expect us just to be joyful all the time. Yeah, it’s okay to be sad about things. We live in a broken world and it’s not only unnatural, it’s unhealthy. It’s unhealthy in the sense that if we’re looking for hope where it should be, which is in eternity yeah these sad things help us to see and want eternity, and forever and eternity in a healthy, better way than if we just act like everything’s okay to know Adam, you would never believe he’s lived with chronic pain for as much of his life as he has. 

 

0:19:13 – Kayla

Because I’m just keeping it real, he is not an Eeyore. He is one of the most encouraging and humorous people that we’ve ever had the chance to do life with, would you agree? 

 

0:19:25 – Brian

I agree, he razzes me and you’ve heard some of that there. And let me say this he’s one of the most cheerful people. 

 

0:19:35 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:19:35 – Brian

He’s the most cheerful person I’ve ever met, even as he carries all this. 

 

0:19:41 – Kayla

Yeah, he’s cheerful, he aggravates me, he tells me jokes, he smiles and I sit there in amazement at that, because that convicts me, because I don’t have three rare diseases and yet someone that does, can take the time and is willing to embrace the fact that your role requires a lot, that it’s very heavy, it bears a lot of responsibility, and so Adam’s great delight is in finding ways that he can come alongside you and gift you information that you might need, or a joke to dispel some tension. He’s not focused on how much he’s hurting or how difficult his day is. He is looking for ways to make someone else’s day less difficult, and he does this for like 60 team members in PAR. In very different ways, he finds moments for encouragement. 

 

0:20:43 – Brian

It’s pretty incredible. 

 

0:20:44 – Kayla

There was another powerful statement, and again we’re going to let you, the listener, sit with your own takeaways, so we’re just going to share a few of ours. It’s easy to look everywhere for relief, and I thought that was very powerful and we’re all guilty of it, but realizing that when we have nowhere else to turn, we can and should turn to Christ. 

 

0:21:08 – Brian

That moved me. 

 

0:21:09 – Kayla

So powerful. 

 

0:21:10 – Brian

That just. 

 

0:21:11 – Kayla

Because we all have our crutches. 

 

0:21:13 – Brian

It reminds me of a phrase that my friend Rock Collins once said. He says I’ve reached the bottom and it was there that I found the solid rock. Phew Adam said I can’t remember what a day without pain is like. That can’t remember what a day without pain is like. 

 

0:21:35 – Kayla

That. That’s a foreign concept to me, because I have many pain-free days. I wasn’t in college starting to deal with a debilitating illness, yeah, collapsed lung, I mean just the very thought of how many. 

 

It took them 13 years to get a diagnosis it’s unimaginable. It was sweet seeing how, in times of great stress, god gave each of them strengths and continues to. We even saw this sitting with them at lunch that day. He cracks jokes and it was interesting. I learned something about Adam that typically when he’s trying to use humor it’s because he’s deflecting something else. So I will be mindful to that moving forward. But Trisha is me. In stressful situations she becomes the take charge get answers. 

 

0:22:23 – Brian

What do I do? 

 

0:22:24 – Kayla

You freak out, and that’s OK. It’s just in the moment when there is a stressful situation. 

 

0:22:30 – Brian

I feel so manly right now. 

 

0:22:34 – Kayla

I felt this tug in my heart that God gives her the strength in those moments to be his advocate. He even called her that and it was very beautiful, and that’s how it looks sometimes. So yeah, and it was very beautiful, and that’s how it looks sometimes. 

 

0:22:47 – Brian

So yeah, I love seeing in the room to build on what you’re saying, is that her role of being an advocate and seeing how God has meshed them together. 

 

0:22:59 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:22:59 – Brian

And they complement each other. 

 

0:23:01 – Kayla

Oh, they really do. 

 

0:23:02 – Brian

Because as the stress gets higher, he gets funnier. 

 

0:23:07 – Kayla

And she gets serious. 

 

0:23:13 – Brian

And she has to ask questions. So I find it interesting how God puts our lives together. 

 

0:23:16 – Kayla

Yeah, and it was really special seeing them together and realizing how perfect they are for each other. There was one other thing that Adam said in this part and again we’re excited to share the second episode next week but he referred to stewarding it. Well, will others be drawn to Christ because of how he handles these struggles? And he and Trisha both reference this because, after 10 minutes with them, I cannot imagine a more authentic way to sum them up is that they want to steward this struggle Well that’s a foreign concept to me. 

 

0:23:57 – Brian

I got to be honest with you because I want it to get over. 

 

0:24:01 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:24:02 – Brian

You’re looking for an out, I’m looking for an out. I’m looking for relief. He’s looking to how to steward it well, how to live it well. That killed me. Trisha made a statement that if the Lord’s enough to get us to eternity, then he’s enough to get us through today. That’s going to become a little quote card for me, because there are days when I feel like he has abandoned me, that he doesn’t care, that he’s left me. But I look at them and I’m not caring near what they’re carrying. And so be of good cheer, be of hope that if he keeps his promises that Jesus came just to die for us and yet he’s going to get us to heaven, well then, certainly he can get us through the problems of today. We hope that you’ve been encouraged by today’s podcast. We know that we have been. 

 

0:24:54 – Kayla

Our hearts have been encouraged, and we want to end with something special. So for the first two people who go to our website and answer this question correctly, you will win a peas and carrots coffee mug and some cute stickers. We always refer to them correctly. You will win a peas and carrots coffee mug and some cute stickers. We always refer to them. But when you go to our website, look for the trivia button. Click that. You’ll go to the peasandcarrotspodcast.com website. Click that trivia button. Share with us a verse that sustains you in times of struggle. That’s good, and we will actually share that with Adam and Trisha. Oh so if will actually share that with Adam and Trisha, oh so if you will do that, we’re not going to ask you a cutesy trivia question this week. We want to encourage the encouragers. 

 

0:25:38 – Brian

What’s a verse that carries you through hard times? Simply go to our website peasandcarrotspodcast.com, look for the trivia button and answer that question. 

 

0:25:47 – Kayla

Share that verse with us. There you go. You can search the Peas and Carrots Podcast wherever you get your podcasts, or visit our website peasandcarrotspodcast.com. When you do, please don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast. 

 

0:25:58 – Brian

You can also follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast. 

 

0:26:03 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Life’s not perfect. That’s why God gave us friends like Melody and Candi. Check out QuirksBumpsandBruises.com, or search Quirks, Bumps, and Bruises wherever you listen to podcasts. 

 

 

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