Season 3, Episode 29: Three Words

Can We Talk?
Three Words - Episode Description
Is it really fall without pumpkin spice? Join us as we bask in the seasonal shift heralded by cooler temperatures and vibrant leaves. We share laughs over Kayla’s pumpkin spice creamer purchase and recount the influx of students back in Blacksburg—affecting everything from traffic to our favorite dining spots. Kayla also gives a hilarious play-by-play of Brian’s evening snooze-fests, culminating in an unforgettable fireworks show that he mostly slept through. For a fun twist, we introduce “Three Words,” a new segment where we challenge ourselves to boil down our thoughts into just three words, sparking playful exchanges and testing our patience.
The heart of this episode lies in friendship and community. We celebrate the connections that make life richer, urging you to explore the Peas and Carrots Podcast on your favorite platforms and stay engaged through our website and social media. As we close, we share heartfelt reflections on our deep appreciation for each other and the incredible support from friends like Melody and Candy. It’s a warm, engaging chat that will leave you feeling the love and charm of the changing seasons. Don’t miss out on a conversation that underscores the magic of friendship and the delightful quirks of life.
Three Words - Transcript

00:00 – Announcer (None)
We go together like peas and carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast Sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch Brian and Kayla Sanders.

00:11 – Brian (None)
Welcome to the Peas and Carrots Podcast. Hi, I’m Kayla and I’m Brian. Welcome to this week’s edition. And, miss Sanders, yes, the trees are starting to turn here.

00:23 – Kayla (None)
They are. Summer is fading away.

00:28 – Brian (None)
Bye, Felicia.

00:31 – Kayla (None)
I have a confession. I actually bought some pumpkin spice creamer, so I’m kind of bougie and I use the Chobani Wait a minute, I own it, I own it. I bought the Chobani Wait a minute, I own it. Wait a minute, wait a minute, I own it. I bought the Chobani pumpkin creamer. It’s so good, but I’m not letting myself use it until the end of August. Why? Because then I feel like I can let go of summer and it can be fall.

01:02 – Announcer (None)
I love it. We’ll see, stay tuned.

01:04 – Brian (None)
The leaves are changing. I looked ahead at the forecast and I see the highs for some of the days are like in the 70s coming up.

01:12 – Kayla (None)
So I’m excited what’s happening in our town.

01:15 – Brian (None)
It’s filling up with people. All them students are coming back.

01:20 – Kayla (None)
So, for those who don’t know, we live in Christiansburg, but Blacksburg is our neighbor.

01:29 – Brian (None)
And Virginia Tech is outside our back door. And I like the students. I mean without them we wouldn’t have an economy here, wouldn’t have all these stores, that kind of stuff. But it’s a lot of people.

01:39 – Kayla (None)
It’s like day and night. It’s a different world when they are around. You either go eat at 4 o’clock or you’re eating at 9 o’clock. If you’re going to a restaurant, we’re more the 4 o’clock type people.

01:51 – Brian (None)
During the school year, we are and you get that senior special attempt.

02:00 – Kayla (None)
So we were talking the other night. This has been a summer full. We have been a summer full. We have had a really fun summer. We’ve traveled a lot, we’ve played a lot. But is anyone else?

02:16 – Brian (None)
craving a routine. I mean, yeah, I do enjoy routine. I sleep better with a routine. I keep peace in my head better with a routine.

02:27 – Kayla (None)
I’m just ready for it. Really I think that’s why I love the start of school is because I get back in a rhythm and we’ve been like unsupervised toddlers for the last three months. So, yeah, doing what, traveling and all the things? Yeah, doing what, traveling and all the things? Yeah, okay, it’s like we’ve had a routine for a week and then it’s gone. And a routine for a week and it’s gone. Yes, I understand.

02:53 – Brian (None)
So I’m ready, like the routine back at the gym, the routine back with our food.

02:58 – Kayla (None)
Yeah, I get it. So yeah, but thank you, summer, you’ve been fun.

03:02 – Brian (None)
I’m grateful that the Olympics are over. I can get back in my sleep routine.

03:06 – Kayla (None)
You slept through them anyway.

03:10 – Brian (None)
That was not a very helpful comment. Yes, some of them. I did sleep through. Well, when it hits about 840. You’re gone. I’m in my easy chair with a blanket. Just wake me up when you’re ready to go to bed. So I’m going to tell on you.

03:22 – Kayla (None)
Just wake me up when you’re ready to go to bed. So I’m going to tell on you. The other night I was watching there is a streaming channel that I can actually watch the fireworks at Disney and I was watching the fireworks at Epcot and I was loving it, but every time a firework went off you would go huh Because you were asleep and the firework would wake you up. It was a long day. It was a long day that day. It was a long day, but it was quite comical trying to watch.

03:50 – Announcer (None)
Did I enjoy them at least? No, you were out.

03:52 – Kayla (None)
Oh okay, you were gone, so we’re going to do something a little different. Okay, this segment is called Three Words.

04:03 – Brian (None)
Three Words.

04:04 – Kayla (None)
We’re going to say more by saying less. So no cheating, you’re not allowed to say anything more than the three words, not words.

04:14 – Brian (None)
I don’t work like this.

04:15 – Kayla (None)
Uh-uh, this is the rule.

04:16 – Brian (None)
I need words.

04:18 – Kayla (None)
Well, you get three and that’s it.

04:21 – Brian (None)
That’s it. I don’t get to explain myself.

04:24 – Kayla (None)
You say your three words and then whoever’s hearing it gets to receive it as they are meant to, without any explanation from you. You can do this Okay.

04:37 – Brian (None)
You start us off.

04:38 – Kayla (None)
For example, I love you.

04:41 – Brian (None)
Am I allowed to respond to that? I just listen, that’s all we’re doing.

04:45 – Kayla (None)
You come back with. This is a game of three words, the first thing that comes to your mind.

04:51 – Brian (None)
Am I reacting to you or you’re just my own?

04:52 – Kayla (None)
three you can, but you’re on three oh now I feel this pressure. I mean, I know your response would be.

05:00 – Brian (None)
I love you, but I know I’ve thrown you a curveball, but you can do this. Probably my actual response to you would be love you more.

05:12 – Kayla (None)
Of course.

05:13 – Brian (None)
Okay.

05:14 – Kayla (None)
My little sentimental oh here we go.

05:16 – Brian (None)
I was just trying to Okay.

05:19 – Kayla (None)
Okay, so three words.

05:20 – Brian (None)
You’re making fun of me about the.

05:21 – Kayla (None)
Olympics.

05:22 – Brian (None)
I’m a little sensitive right now. Okay, okay, reigning in.

05:24 – Kayla (None)
All right Three, okay, okay. Reigning in All right Three words.

05:27 – Brian (None)
Do hard things. Okay, see, and I feel this pressure to explain.

05:33 – Kayla (None)
Uh-uh, you’re not allowed to Practice the pause. That’s so hard to do, apparently, because you can’t do the three things. Apparently I can’t.

05:53 – Brian (None)
Read more books.

05:55 – Kayla (None)
Ooh, do the work.

05:59 – Brian (None)
Gosh, I want to say something. Okay, I feel I’m in this awkward tension Just keep going.

06:05 – Kayla (None)
What would be your next one?

06:07 – Brian (None)
Love her. Well, no, you weren’t supposed to say nothing. This is like a jacked up.

06:14 – Kayla (None)
Okay, well, this is really awkward. Following that, buy the shoes.

06:23 – Brian (None)
And you do.

06:24 – Kayla (None)
Yes, I do. Next one Is yours. Own your crap.

06:32 – Brian (None)
Spend money wisely.

06:35 – Kayla (None)
Ooh, jesus is enough.

06:39 – Brian (None)
Brush your teeth, it’s Okay. Well, I just hear.

06:44 – Kayla (None)
Okay.

06:50 – Brian (None)
Mind your business, brush your teeth. Be like lincoln read your bible I am just following the rules here, okay, never trust farting okay, never trust. Farting, that’s three words, oh my gosh, um especially wearing white britches stop three words, oh perhaps this one’s a good one you’re more upset about me using more than three words, three words that I use.

07:28 – Kayla (None)
I’m a little upset about both, but it’s okay, embrace your quirks. I’m trying.

07:39 – Brian (None)
Three words Experiences over things.

07:42 – Kayla (None)
Oh, buy less junk things.

07:47 – Brian (None)
Oh, buy less junk Love others well.

07:53 – Kayla (None)
Don’t post that, but it’s so funny.

07:57 – Brian (None)
Three words oh so funny it I can’t figure out three words to say there I’m trying to be Yoda over here, Get back up.

08:07 – Kayla (None)
Oh words to say there. I’m trying to be Yoda over here. Get back up. Never say never.

08:12 – Brian (None)
I wanted to say this, but I couldn’t figure out the third word, so I made a third word up. Okay, Okay, love Jesus bigly.

08:20 – Kayla (None)
Oh, okay, go to church. Okay, open your home.

08:29 – Brian (None)
The only people allowed at our house are announced for UPS, amazon and FedEx. I am not opening up the home for you. You ring my doorbell, I will look at you through the peephole and I will not open the door.

08:41 – Kayla (None)
Here’s another one. Take a nap.

08:45 – Brian (None)
How do you do that? You watch the Olympics or Disney stuff. Take a nap. I like take a nap. Okay, how about eat a snack?

08:54 – Kayla (None)
Oh, good one.

08:56 – Brian (None)
Okay.

08:57 – Kayla (None)
I’ve got one for you. Watch Star Wars.

09:04 – Brian (None)
That’s in the Gospel, according to Brian, chapter 3, verse 10 there you go okay three words come on three words. She is beautiful always be kind kiss her daily hold her hand. Okay, let’s not get too we’re gonna keep this pg in.

09:23 – Kayla (None)
well, at my let’s not get too. We got to keep this PG in.

09:28 – Brian (None)
Well, at my age it’s not all PG. I mean, it is PG, go ahead. What are you looking at me like that? I didn’t say anything bad. I didn’t say anything bad Behave Three words. Have fun daily.

09:43 – Kayla (None)
There we go.

09:44 – Brian (None)
Laugh at yourself. That’s a big one. That’s a big one.

09:46 – Kayla (None)
That is a big one. Very good Laugh at yourself. Okay, know your limits.

09:53 – Brian (None)
Watch Godzilla movies.

09:55 – Kayla (None)
Make more memories.

10:00 – Brian (None)
I don’t know how to make this one into three words, but I’d say trust God always.

10:07 – Kayla (None)
Be more transparent. That one does not apply to you.

10:14 – Brian (None)
See y’all, would y’all email in and pray for me? Sign up for the Brian prayer list. Okay, I don’t know, why are you being like this to me today After?

10:27 – Kayla (None)
what you just said. A minute ago, I didn’t say anything. Okay, you have a look when you’re being mischievous, and it was yeah, see, now you’re laughing at yourself. One more, give me one more. Oh, eat a popsicle. Cheer him on. So there we go. It’s a little game of three words.

10:48 – Brian (None)
Believe in yourself. So well, that was fun.

10:53 – Kayla (None)
It’s harder than you think, though Are we doing four words next week.

10:57 – Brian (None)
No, I mean in a month, we’ll have a paragraph going Stop.

11:07 – Kayla (None)
We have three words, three last words. We appreciate you. This has been a really fun ride and we’re still going, but we wanted to come to you, our listener. We just wrapped up. This is wild. We just finished our third year of this podcast and your words, your kindness, your engagement, your emails yeah, Text messages, videos, phone calls We’ve had it all and it means so much to us. It is scary. I never thought I would be this terrified doing something to put yourself out into the wild, and yet others have made space for us and we will always hold space for you.

11:56 – Brian (None)
Yeah, I’m just shocked by how God has used this little podcast and the lives that he weaves, I mean, and some of you have become our friends and that kind of stuff. So thank you for listening, thank you for sharing the podcast with your friends and your family, thanks for allowing the Lord to just use these words to impact your heart.

12:16 – Kayla (None)
Yeah, and know this everything we share with you, it’s either something that God is working on in us or he’s worked on, or it’s something that we want to share with you because you feel like family to us and it’s almost as if we’re sitting across from you at a coffee shop sharing a moment where we can just be real with each other.

12:46 – Brian (None)
And Miss Kayla’s being kind towards you and I’m trying to crack jokes. That’s what’s going on at that coffee shop.

12:53 – Kayla (None)
Very much so.

12:55 – Brian (None)
But it’s been a joy and we’re going to continue on.

12:57 – Kayla (None)
Yeah we’re not going anywhere, but we appreciate you.

13:01 – Brian (None)
So we’d like to send you a Peas and Carrots coffee mug, a Peas and Carrots pen notepad and some Cute little stickers. All you got to do is answer this particular trivia question.

13:12 – Kayla (None)
Yeah, as we say every week, go to our website peasandcarrotspodcastcom. Look for that trivia button. Click it. What are your three words? Share with us and you can share multiples if you want to, like we did. But yeah, go to the website. Click the trivia button.

13:34 – Brian (None)
What are your three words? That website is peasandcarrotspodcastcom. Hey, thanks for listening this week. It’s always a pleasure and, by the way, you can search the peas and podcast the peas and carrots podcast wherever you get your podcast, or visit our website at peasandcarrotspodcastcom.

13:51 – Kayla (None)
When you do, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast. You can follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast.

13:59 – Brian (None)
I have a final three words for you.

14:01 – Kayla (None)
Oh no.

14:02 – Brian (None)
I love you.

14:03 – Kayla (None)
Very good.

14:04 – Announcer (None)
For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcastcom. Life’s not perfect. That’s why God gave us friends like Melody and Candy. Check out quirks, bumps and bruisescom, or search quirks, bumps and bruises wherever you listen to podcasts.

 

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Season 3, Episode 27: Not Home Yet

Can We Talk?
Not Home Yet - Episode Description

What if living your faith authentically could transform the world around you? Join us on the Peas and Carrots Podcast as we kick off with a light-hearted confession about our love for Chick-fil-A ice cream and share our collective excitement for the Olympics, celebrating the incredible triumphs of athletes like Simone Biles. We sprinkle in some humor with a funny story about our new programmable AC unit and share a heartfelt visit to our friend Donna, who is on the mend from a recent accident. Our conversation takes a thoughtful twist as we unpack the controversial moments from the Olympic opening ceremonies and discuss the concept of living in the world but not being of it. We dive deep into the idea that non-believers should not be expected to adhere to Christian values and the importance of not imposing our beliefs on others.

This episode also tackles the nuanced topic of boycotting events and products from a faith-based perspective. We emphasize personal conviction and maintaining a Christ-like attitude, making a clear distinction between persecution and mockery. You’ll hear us reflect on how the gospel should be the only offensive element in our lives, not our behaviors or words. To bring it all home, we highlight the temporary nature of this world and the eternal hope of heaven, encouraging our listeners to glorify Christ in their daily lives. And don’t miss our exciting trivia contest! Participate for a chance to win some fantastic Peas and Carrots Podcast prizes. Tune in, and let’s navigate living out our faith in an ever-changing world together.

Not Home Yet - Transcript

00:00 – Announcer (None)

We go together like peas and carrots the peas and carrots podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch Brian and Kayla Sanders. 

 

00:11 – Brian (Host)

Welcome to the peas and carrots podcast. Hi, I’m Kayla and I’m Brian, and welcome to this week’s edition of the vegetable patch. 

 

00:18

What is up in the world of peas and carrots? 

 

00:21

Okay, first of all, we just had a Chick-fil-a ice cream cone. So if you hear us, it’s, we just had a Chick-fil-A ice cream cone. So if you hear us, it’s because we just had ice cream. 

 

00:28

Confession is not good for the soul in this moment. 

 

00:31

Oh, okay. 

 

00:33 – Kayla (Host)

Just kidding. Well, I’m just getting it out there on the table. 

 

00:36 – Brian (Host)

You just got a little drainage after all the ice cream Got a little bit of drainage. 

 

00:40 – Kayla (Host)

We have been watching the Olympics and loving it, yeah. So in all seriousness, I don’t want to spoil anything, but if you have been watching, some people are actually watching it later they are. I learned there are people who have Peacock the app and they are watching it of Peacock the app and they are watching it. But to see two athletes conquer their physical and mental health issues and win gold is amazing. 

 

01:14 – Brian (Host)

Simone Biles is just an inspiration. She really is, that’s the truth and you’ve been watching it every night. 

 

01:20 – Kayla (Host)

Except last night I fell out because, yeah, this whole, well, there wasn’t a lot. 

 

01:25 – Brian (Host)

I’m not going to say that. 

 

01:26 – Kayla (Host)

There was a lot, I just I was tired so I took a break last night. But tonight is some more women’s gymnastics, so I will be watching that, if the Sanders were involved in Olympics, who would win the gold medal? 

 

01:39 – Brian (Host)

Oh, our new AC unit would win the gold medal. Oh, gotcha, okay, yes our new ac unit would win the oh gotcha. Okay, yes, you like. You’re in love with our new ac. Yeah, it’s programmable. It has a programmable thermostat. 

 

01:53 – Kayla (Host)

I have an app on my phone you can set it to like turn down and cool the house before we get home. 

 

01:58 – Brian (Host)

It’s on a schedule, I never have to go the thermostat. 

 

02:01 – Kayla (Host)

It’s weird yeah, I’m still getting used to that so because, y’all, we had an old timey one where you had to slide the thermostat up and down. 

 

02:10 – Brian (Host)

I don’t know if that’s old timey, they still make that maybe it was 20 years old. 

 

02:14 – Kayla (Host)

well, I mean okay. So yesterday was everything. We got to visit our friend slash co-worker, donna, in Winston-Salem, north Carolina. She is recovering from a recent accident and it was just seeing her smile, getting to laugh with her, seeing how well she’s doing with her healing, so yeah, she looked good. 

 

02:41 – Brian (Host)

She did, she laughed joked, yeah, she looked good. 

 

02:43 – Kayla (Host)

She did, yeah, she laughed, yeah, joked. She’s got a ways to go, so please keep praying for her, but it was a great visit. 

 

02:50 – Brian (Host)

She’s doing her own Olympics. I just saw where she had to play the drummys today Uh-huh, for part of her physical therapy. 

 

02:58 – Kayla (Host)

Yep. 

 

03:00 – Brian (Host)

So that’s, I mean, I don’t know, that’s just a whole new way of therapy for me. I guess the opening ceremonies of the Olympics we have some thoughts. The social medias have been on fire. 

 

03:17 – Kayla (Host)

Yeah, just on fire, I do not miss Facebook. So yeah, I want to give a disclaimer, not miss Facebook. So yeah, I want to give a disclaimer before we go here. This is not one of those moments where we’re going to get on our soapbox and we are not coming at anyone. This is just some thoughts that in light of the opening ceremony, and some people may be like I have no idea what you’re talking about, so I will share very briefly. 

 

03:46

There were two incidences during the opening ceremony. Apparently, there was a scene where the performers we will put it that way were making a mockery of the Lord’s Supper, and then there was another. I actually watched this one, so’m just I’m gonna confess I think I kind of dozed off before the the lord’s supper thing. I came back for a little while. Later on I woke back up, but yeah, that thing goes. I forgot how long the opening ceremony is, but anyway, earlier in the evening you and I were both speechless. At a, there was an artistic interpretation. There were three people dancing through the streets of Paris and it was very risque, and yes, I’m trying to choose my words carefully here, but at the end of the scene it was very suggestive and they were the three of them going into a room and closing the door, and you and I both were absolutely shocked. 

 

04:49 – Brian (Host)

Yeah, I couldn’t believe it was like in family primetime. 

 

04:52 – Kayla (Host)

And this is happening. So the question that I’ve been sitting with and you and I talked about this after watching the opening ceremony and then, like the dumpster fire, that is the interwebs what does it look like to be in this world, but not of this world? And it led to this ongoing conversation that we just want to have with all of you today. 

 

05:19 – Brian (Host)

Yeah, Let me start off with this basic principle. Okay, and we’re taking that particular principle as to living in the world, but you’re not of it, and so let me say this how do you respond to the world as well? How do you live in it, not be of it, but also respond to it? I’m going to lay down this particular foundational truth. This particular foundational truth Never expect unbelievers to love, act like or honor what believers love, act like and honor. Don’t do it, because you will set yourself up for failure. So that is the basic principle there that I want to start with, because they don’t know your God and you cannot legislate or force people to live like a Christian. 

 

06:18 – Kayla (Host)

There’s a couple of other disclaimers that we want to give. If you feel a strong conviction to boycott something, I say that’s between you and God and that is where it should stay. Here’s just. This is just my take. If doing so requires you to incite anger and project hate on everyone around you, maybe it’s worth taking a pause first, and this is not going to be a political discussion. That’s not where our heads are as we broach just our thoughts on this. 

 

06:57

Yes, there were moments in the opening ceremony that gave me a lot to think about. Even yet, I did not decide well, I’m not watching one minute of the Olympics because of that. These athletes worked really hard to get where they are. I want them to know that I’m sitting on my couch cheering for them, rooting for them, posting about them, because I can’t go that far personally. I can’t say well, this was just evil and not of God, so I refuse to have anything to do with the Olympics. And if that is where you, as a listener, have landed, that’s between you and God. So that’s just a disclaimer we want to give Exactly so. 

 

07:45 – Brian (Host)

Again, we want to say this it is our stance that, like, if you want to boycott something, do it quietly, because you never see I don’t want to say this. You never see Jesus and the apostles holding up picket signs or anything like that. Their goal is to not be offended by the world. Their goal is to change the world. 

 

08:13 – Kayla (Host)

Yeah. 

 

08:13 – Brian (Host)

And to change it you usually have to be friendly with people. So let me say this also the church has faced persecution since the beginning of time. What happened at the Olympics is not persecution. Okay, that is just. You could call it mockery, you could call it misunderstanding, all that other kind of stuff, but it isn’t persecution. Now, when you’re being persecuted, you’re being put in jail for your faith. You’re being killed for your faith. Yeah, so let’s get that straight. ‘re being killed for your faith? Yeah, so let’s get that straight. Is that that wasn’t persecution? 

 

08:49 – Kayla (Host)

Yeah. 

 

08:50 – Brian (Host)

That was something else, and what we’re talking about is how to react to it. How would Jesus respond? 

 

08:58 – Kayla (Host)

Yeah, here’s a truth that you and I both live by, because we have friends with varying backgrounds, with varying lifestyles, and yet we have chosen to lean in and love. Well, our lives should make some uncomfortable, so this is where I’m kind of going to go there a little bit. We have guidelines for how we should live, and those are presented to us through his word and the Spirit’s nudging. As a believer, there are things that I know I’m going to feel a conviction for is more about who they see in us than what we say from our megaphones, our social media platforms and felt judgment. Should they brave attending our churches? I want to be a person that I’m living out my faith, but I’m not shoving it down someone’s throat. 

 

10:05 – Brian (Host)

Here’s what Ms Miss Kayla is saying your life and the gospel should make people uncomfortable. Yeah, the way that you talk to people should not. 

 

10:16 – Kayla (Host)

Yeah. 

 

10:17 – Brian (Host)

In other words, the gospel is offensive. You don’t have to be, yeah, don’t be a jerk. 

 

10:23 – Kayla (Host)

Well, jesus dined with sinners and he walked with broken people. 

 

10:27 – Brian (Host)

Yes, One of the apostles was a zealot, was a terrorist I can’t. I’m trying to grab his name here and it escapes me. Also, that woman at the well yeah, she had how many husbands, yeah. Woman at the well, she had how many husbands, yeah. Then apparently, mary Magdalene was a very. She was a woman of the world according to church tradition. 

 

10:52 – Kayla (Host)

Yeah. 

 

10:53 – Brian (Host)

And none of these people were like perfect. Matthew was a tax collector. And look at Paul he murdered. There’s a great quote about Paul that says Paul entered heaven to the cheers of the people he martyred. That’s how the gospel works, that we want society to live like we do, that we forget that it takes the gospel to change a heart and so you can’t legislate that. So back to what you said, Ms Kayla, because it was powerful. You said our lives should make some uncomfortable. 

 

11:41 – Kayla (Host)

They should. That’s how I should be in the world, but not of it so powerful. They should see something in me that they yearn for, but not my hate or not my vitriol about everything and not your Facebook or Instagram or Twitter or whatever. 

 

12:01 – Brian (Host)

it’s called X rants or whatever. 

 

12:03 – Kayla (Host)

Yeah, I know all that stuff. 

 

12:05 – Brian (Host)

It’s possible to love the person and also hate the sin From Facebook posts and like social media. We’re hating the people and that will never win anybody to Christ. That will never bring them, because think about this Jesus said that if you gain the whole world and yet lose your soul, what is a prophet? Hmm, what if you won the moral high ground all over the world? What if you forced everybody to live the way you do, but they never believe the gospel? 

 

12:47 – Kayla (Host)

It’s all for naught what is the profit in that. I want to say this it is just and it is good to have conversations with others about living a gospel-centered life. It is on me to talk about my walk with Christ, but I can do that without always putting others on defense or making them doubt that the Jesus that we love could ever love them. May the gospel be offensive. May we not be offensive. 

 

13:20 – Brian (Host)

Amen, you ought to preach sometime. No, no, no. 

 

13:28 – Kayla (Host)

This world is not our home. 

 

13:29 – Brian (Host)

Amen. This is a temporary place, yeah, and we long for the hope of heaven, but we may not. But help us not to squander the privilege we have of glorifying christ in our time here. So here’s the thing sometimes it’s like we fight as though this is our eternal home, as though this is where and we should take care of this place. But y’all, we’re just passing through. Yeah, our hope is not built here. No, and it’s like we’re just all ramped up about you know, we got to. Anyway, before I go off, on. 

 

14:02 – Kayla (Host)

I was going to say you’re, you’re you got one foot on the soapbox. 

 

14:05 – Brian (Host)

I know, I know. 

 

14:07 – Kayla (Host)

Bottom line. 

 

14:08 – Brian (Host)

A few things I want to say. 

 

14:10 – Kayla (Host)

I know. So I’m reining you in because we promised this was not going to go there. I know. 

 

14:14 – Brian (Host)

I got kind of close. 

 

14:28 – Kayla (Host)

The challenge to me when situations like this arise, where I think back to and we will not dwell here, but I think back to the Starbucks Red Cup and how Christians lost their ever-loving mind over a Starbucks Red Cup. Yes, may we not be remembered for those types of moments where, as a believer, it even still sits with me and I chuckle on the inside. May we bring people to tears because they long for a faith that we have that makes them want to draw closer to him, because that’s the whole end game. Is the way I act, the way I react and y’all, I do not get this perfectly right. Not even once a day do I necessarily. 

 

15:13 – Brian (Host)

Well, you do pretty good. 

 

15:15 – Kayla (Host)

But I think I just I told you the other night after watching the opening ceremony yes, I was heart sick, I was some of what I saw. But we live in a broken world. We are broken people. May we chase so hard after Jesus that in doing that, our lives somehow inspire others to pursue him as well. 

 

15:43 – Brian (Host)

I have nothing to add to that Beautiful. 

 

15:46 – Kayla (Host)

Shall, we play some trivia. I thought you would like this. I like trivia. 

 

15:50 – Brian (Host)

You like these little games, I like these little games. Yeah, and you came up with the questions. 

 

15:56 – Kayla (Host)

I always do. 

 

15:59 – Brian (Host)

I had some in here every now and then. Well, you do? 

 

16:02 – Kayla (Host)

I left room for you to add some but you didn’t. You’ve had a little busy week, so I get it. What’s the first question? 

 

16:09 – Brian (Host)

If you had to participate in one Olympic sport, which would you choose? 

 

16:14 – Announcer (None)

I would choose gymnastics Because I was in gymnastics as a child and I hope it would come back to me. 

 

16:23 – Kayla (Host)

I want to talk about this a second. 

 

16:26 – Brian (Host)

When you dance, one leg moves and one finger goes up and down, how are you going to do gymnastics? 

 

16:34 – Kayla (Host)

Gymnastics is flipping and turning. It’s not If you can’t flip and turn. 

 

16:38 – Brian (Host)

if you can’t dance and you fell down the stairs a year ago. 

 

16:43 – Kayla (Host)

I’m feeling a little attacked. 

 

16:46 – Brian (Host)

What would yours be Swimming, I could float. Oh my gosh, I can’t run, flip, jump, nothing. I can’t pummel that horse or whatever it’s called. I can’t do any of that stuff. I’d float, but then every now and then I hope I wouldn’t get harpooned, though as I’m floating across the pool. 

 

17:10 – Kayla (Host)

Look Mom mom, it’s moby dick. You know it’s a whale. You you didn’t. Are you done? You didn’t find that? 

 

17:13 – Brian (Host)

no, okay, next name one item on your bucket list to be married to you for 50 years no you’re gonna say something like eat ice cream and all the disney cards well, that one’s a given. 

 

17:29 – Kayla (Host)

Um well, I’ll say another one do please, okay, I don’t know um, I will start then. Okay, I look forward to the day that we will do a cruise of europe oh, wow, well see, I got. 

 

17:45 – Brian (Host)

I’d like okay, I’d like to write a book about abraham a cruise of Europe. Oh, wow, well see, I’d like to write a book about Abraham Lincoln. 

 

17:51 – Kayla (Host)

Okay, nobody’s shocked by that. 

 

17:56 – Brian (Host)

I’d like to go back to Greece. I’d like to go back. Oh, greece was amazing. I’d like to go back to Switzerland, although we’ve been checking the temperatures in Greece and Rome, right now 98. 

 

18:07 – Kayla (Host)

Yeah, they’re dying in Paris. It’s hot. 

 

18:09 – Brian (Host)

If you could eat only one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be For me? Fried chicken Every day, Every single day. 

 

18:20 – Kayla (Host)

See, I would say steak, mashed potatoes and rolls. 

 

18:23 – Brian (Host)

Oh, I get to like I thought it was just one food. I said meal, oh oh, fried chicken, rice and gravy. 

 

18:33 – Kayla (Host)

Okay. 

 

18:34 – Brian (Host)

I could eat rice every day of my life. 

 

18:36 – Kayla (Host)

Okay. 

 

18:36 – Brian (Host)

Okay. 

 

18:39 – Kayla (Host)

What scares you more? Failure or never trying? 

 

18:43 – Brian (Host)

Failure? Yeah, because I’m too dumb not to try. To try, I mean I’ll try, I mean I’ll. 

 

18:50 – Kayla (Host)

I could live with failure. I could not live with never trying I can’t. 

 

18:54 – Brian (Host)

Uh. Well, now I’m making me think this differently. I will try anything that doesn’t make me afraid. Failure scares me, so I will pivot. 

 

19:07 – Kayla (Host)

See, I’m more scared of having a wasted life. 

 

19:10 – Brian (Host)

Well, I guess that’s where. Okay, let me say this I don’t think I am wasting it, so I’m willing to try anything. 

 

19:19 – Kayla (Host)

This question’s really tripping you up. 

 

19:20 – Brian (Host)

Yeah, because here’s the thing I’ll do something twice, because I figured I did it wrong first time. 

 

19:26 – Kayla (Host)

Well then you’re not scared of failure. 

 

19:29 – Announcer (None)

Oh. 

 

19:30 – Kayla (Host)

You’d be more scared of never taking the risk. 

 

19:33 – Announcer (None)

True. 

 

19:33 – Brian (Host)

Yeah. 

 

19:34 – Kayla (Host)

Okay, what’s the bravest thing you’ve ever done? 

 

19:38 – Brian (Host)

Going to that gym the very first time. 

 

19:41 – Kayla (Host)

Mm-hmm, I can see that. 

 

19:44 – Brian (Host)

Was I supposed to say something else? 

 

19:45 – Kayla (Host)

no, I’m just that’s um yours marrying me. No, I would out for you. I would say I taught a cpr instructor’s class to 15 firemen one time and it was the most terrifying. When was this? Back in new orleans, when I was certified in cpr and first aid, I actually had to teach to become an instructor and I actually had to teach a class of firemen and it was terrifying, but second only to the first time I ever walked in your gym. That was the scariest thing I’ve ever done. 

 

20:30 – Brian (Host)

Our gym. If you had to learn another language, which would you choose? 

 

20:36 – Kayla (Host)

I would choose French because I think it’s such a beautiful language. 

 

20:41 – Brian (Host)

I would sound terrible, but I’ve had four years of training in german, so I would naturally lean toward no, no, you already know that you have to learn a language. No cheating I guess spanish okay, I don’t know any spanish, oh, I see I like spanish, any Spanish. 

 

21:01 – Kayla (Host)

Oh, I see I like Spanish. What is one character flaw you struggle to overlook? Don’t give any names, but I don’t want to say it’s the unforgivable, but what is one character flaw? That it’s just really. This is like confession time. 

 

21:18 – Brian (Host)

And myself or other people. 

 

21:19 – Kayla (Host)

Either no names. 

 

21:22 – Brian (Host)

And other people, people who never shut up. It’s like they don’t even stop and take a breath. It’s just, it’s like they’re circular, it’s like they got gills and they never have to stop. And they just keep going, and going, and going, ok, ok. 

 

21:42 – Kayla (Host)

For me, it’s people who lie. I really struggle with dishonest people, but one of my core values is integrity, so I just have to feel that what you’re saying is something that I can get behind, that it’s truthful, so yeah, so those are just some random trivia items. 

 

22:03 – Brian (Host)

That’s interesting, but what is one character flaw you struggle to overlook in yourself, in? 

 

22:09 – Kayla (Host)

myself. 

 

22:10 – Brian (Host)

I’ll start with me. Okay, flaw that I have is I can listen for a short amount of time and I struggle to listen for a really long amount of time and that aggravates me. You zone out, I zone out. 

 

22:26 – Kayla (Host)

A character flaw in myself is that and you have none. Oh, I have plenty. Okay, I’m actually going to give two no, because it’s something that I often struggle with Through this podcast. I never want to come across as self-righteous you don’t. But second of all, this is me answering the question.

 

22:48

I apologize the second one is I am my own worst critic yes, you are and I am constantly the person that’s telling myself that I got it all wrong and so learn. I’m learning to give myself credit. What was the good in that situation? Because my brain trends toward the kayla. You should have done this. You should have said that, you should have thought this out. Um, you’re the reason this happened. Blah, blah, blah. So yeah, that’s, that’s a character flaw in me I don’t’t think so. 

 

23:22 – Brian (Host)

Yeah, well, I can see where you struggle with that and it breaks my heart. Yeah. 

 

23:26 – Kayla (Host)

So, anyway, that’s enough confession for today. If you go to our website, which is peasandcarrotspodcastcom. And you answer the question correctly, you can win a whole like plethora of things. A mug and stickers and a notepad and a pen and all kind of stuff. A little post-it note. 

 

23:45 – Brian (Host)

Really. 

 

23:46 – Kayla (Host)

Yeah, it’s a little notepad of post-its. 

 

23:48 – Brian (Host)

So you go to our website peasandcarrotspodcastcom. When you get there, you click the trivia button. And what is this week’s trivia question? 

 

23:56 – Kayla (Host)

Which Olympic sport would you choose? So which Olympic sport would? 

 

24:02 – Brian (Host)

you choose to participate in, Go to our website peasandcarrotspodcastcom and click the trivia button and answer the question. 

 

24:10 – Kayla (Host)

You can search Peas and Carrots Podcast. Wherever you get your podcasts, visit our website Again, that is peasandcarrotspodcastcom. When you do, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast. 

 

24:21 – Brian (Host)

You can follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast. 

 

24:28 – Announcer (None)

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Life’s not perfect. That’s why God gave us friends like Melody and Candy. Check out quirks, bumps and bruisescom, or search quirks, bumps and bruises wherever you listen to podcasts.

 

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Season 3, Episode 19: Empty Nesters

Can We Talk?
Empty Nesters - Episode Description

Kayla can barely hold back her excitement about hugging Winnie the Pooh during our upcoming Disney vacation, and Brian finds himself humorously torn about whether to use the resort gym amidst all the walking. As we share our daily routines, from Kayla’s involvement in a women’s summer study at church to Brian’s newfound joy in grilling on a spotless grill, the conversation takes a heartfelt turn. We candidly explore the emotional complexities of Father’s Day, especially when faced with infertility and the reality of being empty nesters. We reflect on how certain holidays can be particularly challenging without children in the family, making this a deeply personal and relatable discussion.

We delve into themes of faith and gratitude, sharing touching stories about our experiences with other “children” God has given us and their profound impact on our lives. Amid these emotional moments, we lighten the atmosphere by discussing our favorite fictional characters and books, debating the age-old question of reading the book before watching the movie, and sharing our thoughts on Disney parks. We also spill the beans on our fears, future plans for getting a dog, and foods we absolutely refuse to eat. This episode is a rollercoaster of emotions, filled with laughter, love, and unexpected insights that will keep you engaged from start to finish.

Empty Nesters - Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 

 

0:00:11 – Brian

Welcome to the peas and carrots podcast. Hi, I’m Kayla and I’m Brian. Welcome to this week’s edition of the vegetable patch. I’ll tell you y’all, let’s just start here. Why are you so excited? 

 

0:00:25 – Kayla

The countdown is on. Countdown four we are leaving for vacation in a few days. 

 

0:00:32 – Brian

She’s got her little hands out in front of her like a little girl and she’s swinging them back and forth. 

 

0:00:38 – Kayla

Yeah, it’s vacation time. 

 

0:00:41 – Brian

Now, who are you going to see? 

 

0:00:43 – Kayla

Winnie the Pooh, Tigger, Eeyore Piglet. 

 

0:00:49 – Brian

Mickey Minnie, you sound like an eight-year-old you going to hug Winnie the Pooh? Yes, absolutely. You going to hug Mickey Mouse, probably. 

 

0:01:00 – Kayla

Okay, I mean maybe not, I don’t know, Donald Duck, and I mean they’re all right, but you don’t like Donald, I do. 

 

0:01:10 – Brian

But you love Winnie. 

 

0:01:10 – Kayla

But I love Winnie the Pooh. Okay To me All right. But yeah, we are headed south for vacation. We are, and I’m so ready. 

 

0:01:20 – Brian

I talked to my friend who lives down there. He said to bring shorts. 

 

0:01:23 – Kayla

He says it’s hot yeah, it’s 98 degrees the day we land. 

 

0:01:26 – Brian

So a little bit toasty. Miss Sanders is outside of her comfort zone and God’s using you, I’ll say that because last night you started what. 

 

0:01:38 – Kayla

We started our women’s summer study at church and it was really sweet sitting in a room with about gosh, I don’t know probably 30 women who, seeing them huddled in groups talking about just life and their journey with Jesus, and it was pretty amazing. It took me a while to wind down. I’m a little tired today because it was after 11 o’clock before all the adrenaline left my body. 

 

0:02:07 – Brian

I was asleep by then. 

 

0:02:09 – Kayla

But I actually had to like people and talk, stand up in front of the group. 

 

0:02:14 – Brian

It didn’t kill me. So proud of you. Why? Thank you. God’s using you. 

 

0:02:21 – Kayla

You are a very, very happy man. 

 

0:02:23 – Brian

I am because I’m grilling again. You are a very, very happy man. I am because I’m grilling again. My beautiful bride this past weekend cleaned my grill for me. It really wasn’t bad. I would like to clean my grill, but this is a conversation. My standards of what is clean is different from other people’s standards and we’ll leave other people undefined at this time. Good choice, okay. Yeah, so miss sanders cleaned my grill for me. I did, and you’ve. 

 

0:02:53 – Kayla

I’ve planted all the flowers, and so the back deck is your little sanctuary. Oh, I love it you can sit out there I grilled us some steaks, grilled some chicken last night. 

 

0:03:03 – Brian

So it’s just chicken last night. I’m a happy, happy, happy boy. Summer is in full swing. 

 

0:03:09 – Kayla

I’m excited, so I may have floated an idea with you. Here we go, that while we were on vacation our Hang on Before we get this out. 

 

0:03:19 – Brian

The answer is no. The answer is no, but go ahead. The answer is maybe. The answer is no, our go ahead. 

 

0:03:24 – Kayla

Go ahead. The answer is maybe the answer is no, our resort has a really nice gym. 

 

0:03:30 – Brian

Okay, let’s stop here. Okay, how many miles a day are we going to be walking at Disney? A lot, seven to eight. I do not see the need to go. 

 

0:03:42 – Kayla

But we could do some of our strength training. 

 

0:03:43 – Brian

No, no, I just still haven’t recovered from the to go, but we could do some of our strength training no no. I just still haven’t recovered from the look on your face by about 12 noon or 1 o’clock we’ll be strength training dragging my tail from here to get a Dole Whip ice cream across the thing in Hollywood Studios. 

 

0:03:57 – Kayla

That’s my strength training, okay good to know, so it’s a maybe. 

 

0:04:02 – Brian

No, it’s not a maybe. I will stretch forth a hand and pray for you as you go to the gym, while I lay in bed. 

 

0:04:09 – Kayla

In all seriousness, though, what is the gym next to at our resort? What is right next door to the gym? Ice cream, an ice cream store? 

 

0:04:18 – Brian

I will walk by you with an ice cream I’ll wave at you. I’ll even watch you. It doesn’t, no, but if I’m walking eight miles a day, I am not going to the gym. Okay, in 98-degree weather. So maybe I’ll have sweat rolling in places I haven’t seen in three years. Bless America, so that’s a hard pass for me. Are you really going to go to the gym on vacation? Maybe, Maybe I don’t believe it. I do not believe it. Best laid plans y’all Best laid plans. 

 

0:04:59 – Kayla

Forever empty nesters. It’s a good this is a good topic, but a hard topic Again, being that this is coming up on Father’s Day and that is a complicated holiday for you. You had a wonderful dad. 

 

0:05:17 – Brian

I had a great dad I mean the best ever, even wrote a book about him called Be Like Dad, which you can find on Amazon, by the way. But this is a tough holiday for me, and we’ve talked about this before on this podcast. We’ve talked about infertility. We never were able to have children and we were in that time period where we didn’t adopt either. Okay, let’s just be honest. And now, being 56, don’t take this wrong I don’t want a kid in my house. I’m too old, I’m setting my ways and I’m cranky. I want to go to bed about eight, 30. Okay, I’m just because by the time that kid’s coming out of diapers, I’ll be going into them. So I just say it. But Father’s Day and Mother’s Day are hard days. 

 

0:06:07 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:06:08 – Brian

And sometimes Christmas Day can be hard. 

 

0:06:11 – Kayla

Yeah, Because you see all these pictures of families snuggled up on the sofa in their matching pajamas and they’re doing all these things together. 

 

0:06:22 – Brian

But as many of our friends, it’s just me and you, which is great, it’s wonderful. 

 

0:06:26 – Kayla

Yeah, we are a family. Yeah, but we were saying the other night, as it comes up on Father’s Day, there are so many of our friends entering the stage of life where they are becoming grandparents. We are reminded that life looks different for us. 

 

0:06:43 – Brian

Not bad, but different and we’re not asking you to feel sorry for us or something like that. No, we’re just sharing our struggle, how we’ve seen Christ be sufficient. Let me say it absolutely yeah. Let me say it like that yeah, there is no pity here. 

 

0:07:01 – Kayla

There is no woe is us, there is a may. We all remember each other’s situation, that our situation is also not the same as our single friends, and then our situation is not the same as those who would long to have an evening with a quiet home. So, yeah, it’s again. It’s different is not bad. It just means that we embrace a different reality. 

 

0:07:32 – Brian

Now. So let me just say this we’re never going to have a home that has grandkids squealing in it. 

 

0:07:38 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:07:39 – Brian

Their parents begging us not to spoil them. But I guarantee you we would. 

 

0:07:43 – Kayla

Oh, absolutely. 

 

0:07:44 – Brian

I mean, I’d take them to Target and whatever they pointed at, I’d buy it. 

 

0:07:47 – Kayla

Yep, I have no doubt. 

 

0:07:50 – Brian

But let me say this we also have a history. Whenever we lived in New Orleans 20 years ago, we mentored college, we mentored seminary students and every Thursday night there’d be 10, 15 students in our home. 

 

0:08:09 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:08:10 – Brian

And when we moved here to Virginia, we just continued that tradition. We brought college students in our home and there were Thursday nights when we were here in Virginia, where there’d be 20 students in our home.

 

0:08:24 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:08:24 – Brian

And many of them called us mom and dad. 

 

0:08:27 – Kayla

And that was a real privilege to get to do life with them. So a typical Thursday, and again this started in New Orleans with seminary students who were single, lonely. They were part of our church but they did not have a home outside of church. They were really struggling some of them. So we would have dinner together and then we would spend probably 30 to 45 minutes talking about something theologically related. 

 

0:08:56 – Brian

We’d have a Bible study. 

 

0:08:57 – Kayla

And then we watched Survivor. It was a tradition that everyone would kind of choose who they thought was going to win Survivor and we would watch that together and then, honestly, some Thursdays at like 11 o’clock, we would say, okay, you people have to go home, we have to go to bed. 

 

0:09:14 – Brian

And it was always a race to see who could be there first Thursday night because they’d bring their laundry. 

 

0:09:18 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:09:19 – Brian

And so they would always bring laundry. 

 

0:09:21 – Kayla

I’ve taught many a young man and young woman how to sort clothes. Well, I’m up for that lesson. So, yeah, no, you’re good you leave our laundry alone. 

 

0:09:31 – Brian

We also had a rule in New Orleans that Friday night was like date night. 

 

0:09:35 – Kayla

Yeah, our home was opened. Honestly, Thursday night was not the only night that they could visit, but Friday night was off limits. And I think we’ve shared this before. 

 

0:09:44 – Brian

We’ve shared this story before. How I jokingly said, Friday night’s off limits, I said now, if you show up at midnight, that’s okay, that’s Saturday, that is off limits. I said now, if you show up at midnight, that’s okay, that’s Saturday. 

 

0:09:56 – Kayla

I never thought anybody would show up at 12.01 am. 

 

0:09:57 – Brian

DR Randall shows up at our door. 

 

0:10:01 – Kayla

Are y’all awake? Yeah, son, what’s up? 

 

0:10:05 – Brian

Well, you said we could stop by after 12. Well, what am I going to do? Come on in. 

 

0:10:12 – Kayla

You’re going to watch a movie, and that’s what you did. I think I fell asleep, yeah, but he was happy. So, yes, we have had a bounty of a really rich life with students who not only have we had a chance to pour into them, they’ve poured into us, and we now have young men and women who have families of their own and we get to delight in seeing them going through different stages with their kids, and they are incredible parents and it’s been fun watching various ones of them get married and then have kids and settling down and buying their first home. 

 

The call that we get of. I mean, I’ve lost count of the number of young men in particular that have said hey, would you all meet us for dinner? It’s important that you meet my fiancé, or hey, there was one in particular. We were sworn to secrecy that there was going to be a proposal, but it was important to him that we meet her beforehand. So different is not always bad, but here’s the reality that we are in. They have all grown and flown, as parents would say, and genuinely as they should. They have their grown and flown, as parents would say, and and genuinely as they should. They have their families to go to when, when Christmas rolls around, when easter hits, when they go and spend time with their biological parents, and that is exactly how it should be. Now we have been surprised and delighted on many a holiday where we’ve gotten a text saying hey, we’re in town, Can we get together? Can we visit Now? 

 

0:12:02 – Brian

I need to be honest. I’m just going to be very vulnerable. It still hurts some Sure. After all these years it still stings that kids and grandkids that they never show up, that kids and grandkids that they never show up. So I’m trying to grow in this to be satisfied with him. 

 

0:12:19 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:12:20 – Brian

Because he is to be my portion. 

 

0:12:23 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:12:23 – Brian

I am to taste and see the Lord is good. I’m not to taste and see what I wish I had. I’m to taste and see that he is good. Yeah, so that’s what I’m trying to do. 

 

0:12:37 – Kayla

And I will admit as well that there are times that that familiar ache returns, never knowing what it’s going to feel like to carry another human, never getting to answer questions such as okay, whose eye color would he have? Whose personality would she emulate? How tall would he be? What would she be when she grows up? I mean, these are questions that we’ll never have an answer, and yet the Lord has been faithful to fill our lives beyond full, just not with children of our own. And yet I also, at this stage in my life, I see friends of ours who they have raised children and then, for various reasons, their children have kind of gone their own way and so pouring out as a parent for 20 plus years, and then your child kind of turns and veers off, and I cannot imagine that heartache. And so everything is a little complicated. When you really stop and think about it, life is not just cut and dry. 

 

0:13:51 – Brian

No, I’ve come to this realization is that what they sell you in movies is a lie. It’s never that beautiful. It’s never that peaceful and it’s never where you get to put a bow on it and say life is perfect, it’s never like that. 

 

0:14:05 – Kayla

So I do worry. 

 

0:14:08 – Brian

Shock. 

 

0:14:09 – Kayla

I know what if god takes me first really that’s always been something that no, no this is something that plagues me and I worry that if god took me first, if we’d had kids, I could know that you had loved ones who were going to take care of you upon my passing, and that’s always plagued me a little bit. 

 

0:14:33 – Brian

That plagues me as well, because your worry is my worry. I mean I get up at 2 o’clock in the morning to go do what 56-year-old men do at that time of the morning and I come back to lay down and those things start. I mean it keeps me awake. Like you know, if I don’t wake up in the morning, she’s alone. There’s nobody there, and so I try to yeah. That’s why church, community and that kind of stuff sometimes is important, because now I don’t want to leave, tomorrow I’d like to have another. 

 

0:15:03 – Kayla

Yeah, please don’t. 

 

0:15:04 – Brian

I’d like to have another 20, 30 years with you. Yeah, as long as I can get around well, but I do worry about that. But I have to trust that the God who’s gotten us this far, he will be faithful to get us home. Yeah so. 

 

0:15:18 – Kayla

Yeah, and another beauty in this is we can see that God continues to surround us with couples. They’re beginning their journey. We can encourage them, we can support them, we can help them to see that it won’t always be this hard. But I may not ever fully understand his ways. I know enough of him that I can assure that younger couple that God is good and I can share with them, that he can be trusted and that he’s faithful and he’s true, and that his plans for them are way better than any plans we could ever have of our own. 

 

0:16:03 – Brian

I didn’t think I was going to cry today. You’re just ripping my heart out. You’re just ripping my heart out. I guess I got a little bit further to go than you. I would tell those couples that he’s true and he’s faithful and he’s loving and he’s caring. But part of your life might also be a little bit of bitter profit, because God doesn’t always operate. 

 

0:16:29 – Kayla

But hopefully that will drive you closer to him. Gotta get a Kleenex. 

 

0:16:35 – Brian

I wasn’t expecting this today. I mean here you roll up in here. So sorry, now my mascara’s running Stop. Will I ever be 100%? Okay with this? I’m trying. 

 

0:16:54 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:16:55 – Brian

I am trying, but I’m thankful for Jesus. I’m thankful for you, darling, I mean it. I’m also thankful for all the kids who’ve passed through our home kids who’ve? 

 

passed through our home, yeah, I mean. And when they’re in town, they make a point to see us and introduce us to all their littles. And some of them they’ll call us and they’ll say Mom, Dad, we’re expecting baby number five. And I’m like, look, y’all need to figure out what’s causing this and stop it. You’re on five or six now, okay, so, but we love it. But I just want to say this what you just said deeply impacted me. I’m trying yeah. 

 

And I can tell couples that he’s faithful and he’s good, and I’ll do a better job of that. So that’s too much for me. Thank you, getting to know you. 

 

0:17:54 – Kayla

Yeah, okay, that was pretty heavy, so we need a little lighthearted. 

 

0:18:00 – Brian

I’m still wiping tears in my eyes. Yeah, I need a candy bar Piece of fried chicken. All right, what you got. 

 

0:18:10 – Kayla

Just a few questions about us. Some of these we get from people and some of these that I came up with on my own Just to kind of let them get to know us just a little bit better. Who is your favorite fictional character? 

 

0:18:23 – Brian

Darth Vader or Godzilla? Quick answer, or can I give one more? Sure? Willy Wonka, oh good one. Gene Wilder yeah, you favorite fictional character. 

 

0:18:36 – Kayla

Mine would be Mary Poppins. 

 

0:18:40 – Brian

Practically perfect in every way. 

 

0:18:42 – Kayla

Or, of course, any of the Winnie the Pooh characters. 

 

0:18:45 – Brian

I don’t understand Al. I don’t even know why he’s in the mix. He’s wise. No, he’s not, he’s crazy. 

 

0:18:51 – Kayla

Oh Well, all right then Best book you have read to date? 

 

0:18:58 – Brian

This year To date Best book Not this year. 

 

0:19:00 – Kayla

Just To date Best book Not this year just To date, unreasonable Hospitality. 

 

0:19:06 – Brian

Oh, phenomenal, phenomenal book, loved it you. 

 

0:19:14 – Kayla

The Diary of Anne Frank Wow. 

 

0:19:17 – Brian

That’s gone a little bit back. 

 

0:19:19 – Kayla

Okay, I’ve read some good books, but that one still impacts me more than I think any other. I mean not including the bible, but yeah somebody’s going to somebody gonna be like you people need some Jesus. Will you ever get another dog? We get this question a lot the answer is yes, okay we’re just not in a season to have a dog we’re not. 

 

0:19:42 – Brian

We’re way too busy and we wouldn’t be home enough. 

 

0:19:46 – Kayla

We are typically home two, two and a half hours a night, and that would be well. Let me clarify that. 

 

0:19:54 – Brian

Hang on, where are we sleeping? 

 

0:19:55 – Kayla

Before we go to sleep. That would just seem very selfish at this stage of our life, but we do. We have plans to get another dog. What are you most afraid of? 

 

0:20:09 – Brian

How honest do I want to be? 

 

0:20:10 – Kayla

Oh, you have to tell the truth or I will. 

 

0:20:13 – Brian

Spiders and being alone. 

 

0:20:16 – Kayla

Getting lost because it’s happened before. 

 

0:20:21 – Brian

Yes, yes, getting. 

 

0:20:23 – Kayla

I cannot handle feeling lost or not knowing where I’m going.

 

0:20:26 – Brian

That GPS takes this all throughout. Oh, I freak out. 

 

0:20:29 – Kayla

So what has to be first for you the book or the movie? 

 

0:20:33 – Brian

I really don’t care. Oh really. Yeah, I’ve never read the Harry Potter books. I’ve seen the movies 50 times a piece, though. 

 

0:20:41 – Kayla

What. 

 

0:20:43 – Brian

I’ve never read Chronicles of Narnia. I’ve watched those crappy movies too. Rude. Well, they got trees walking in them. 

 

0:20:54 – Kayla

And yet Godzilla is okay. This is where we are. Are we going to do this. 

 

0:21:02 – Brian

I feel a little judged. I didn’t criticize. 

 

0:21:06 – Kayla

We need to poo and you called chronicles of Narnia crappy. 

 

0:21:11 – Brian

Well it’s not my cup of tea. 

 

0:21:13 – Kayla

Well, okay, Godzilla’s not mine, but he’s awesome. Anyway, your punishment is you will now read the first Narnia book. 

 

0:21:21 – Brian

I am not Yep, I will go to book jail. I am not reading that Book jail. I am not reading that. 

 

0:21:27 – Kayla

Favorite Disney part. 

 

0:21:28 – Brian

No, you got to answer that Book or movie. 

 

0:21:30 – Kayla

Oh, I have to read the book first, really, because then I want to compare to see how true they stay to the book when I watch the movie. Why is that important? It matters to me. Maybe if you’d read the Chronicles of Narnia. You would like the movies have you ever read it. 

 

0:21:46 – Brian

Yes, all of them my uncle gifted me this set you read all that Prince Caspian stuff and all that. 

 

0:21:52 – Kayla

Yes, I did. Walking it back a little bit now. 

 

0:21:55 – Brian

No, I’m just because Carol Lass again take me to book jail. 

 

0:22:01 – Kayla

Favorite Disney park. 

 

0:22:03 – Brian

Hollywood Studios Easy Hollywood Studios. 

 

0:22:08 – Kayla

It’s a toss-up between Hollywood Studios and Epcot for me, because Epcot has the International Village and I love that. 

 

0:22:16 – Brian

You love the English village. I love all of it Fish and Chip. They have a little tea shop there in the English village. You like that. 

 

0:22:25 – Kayla

What is a food you refuse to eat? 

 

0:22:29 – Brian

Mushrooms, Brussels sprouts. Unless they’re doused in garlic and bacon. I’m not going to touch a Brussels sprout. If you can still taste Brussels, I ain’t touching the sprout. 

 

0:22:40 – Kayla

Yeah, it’s not happening. Probably okra. Oh yeah, ain’t touching this brown. Yeah, it’s not happening. Probably okra, oh yeah. 

 

0:22:47 – Brian

Mushy okra, yeah, bell peppers. 

 

0:22:49 – Kayla

Okay. We don’t have to list all of them. 

 

0:22:51 – Brian

Oh, sorry yeah. 

 

0:22:52 – Kayla

Okay, what is your Enneagram? 

 

0:22:55 – Brian

I’m an eight with a seven wing. 

 

0:22:57 – Kayla

And I’m a one with a two wing, and none of that surprises anybody who’s listening. A one with a two wing, and none of that surprises anybody who’s listening. So yeah, but there we are. So those are just some random questions about us. Speaking of questions, the first two people to go to our website and answer the question correctly, you will win a peas and carrots coffee mug what is this week’s trivia question? 

 

0:23:19 – Brian

so, our. 

 

0:23:20 – Kayla

Our question is book or movie which comes first for you? Do you have to read? 

 

0:23:27 – Brian

the book first, or I mean it doesn’t matter it’s just an honest answer. They can say I don’t care, but so hey, if you go to our website, the first few people go to our website. Answer that question correctly yeah, so book or movie. You’ll win a peas and carrots coffee mug, a good pack of Cute little stickers, and then we’ve added a pen a peas and carrots it’s very, very nice. They just came in. 

 

0:23:54 – Kayla

So click that trivia button. Answer that question. Peasandcarrotspodcast.com. You can search Peas and Carrots Podcast wherever you get your podcasts, or visit our website peasandcarrotspodcast.com. When you do, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast. 

 

0:24:09 – Brian

You can follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast. See you all later. I’m off to book jail. 

 

0:24:18 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Growing through the challenges we face and finding hope along the way. That’s the Jesus Fix It Podcast with Jess. Check out jesusfixit.com or search Jesus Fix It wherever you listen to podcasts. 

 

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Season 3, Episode 15: Goodbye, Grandest of Dames

Can We Talk?
Goodbye, Grandest of Dames - Episode Description

Caught in the whirlwind of life’s changes, from celebrating the fruits of our ministry’s fundraising to navigating the emotional currents of a college town during graduation season, we’ve got a lot to catch up on. The hum of activity in our little corner of the world is as vibrant as ever, but there’s a special place in this episode for quiet reflection, especially as I honor the memory of my grandmother, Mary Slade, whose wit and wisdom have left an indelible mark on my heart.

Boundaries: we often misunderstand them, and yet they’re vital for nurturing healthy relationships—and that’s a big part of our discussion today. Far from being a sign of strained connections, they’re the scaffolding for peaceable living, as taught in Romans 12:18. We’ll share how these principles apply not just in ministry, but across the spectrum of life, and we hope to clear the fog surrounding boundaries with personal insights and some eye-opening anecdotes. It’s about carving out a space where self-care and respect for others coexist harmoniously.

Rounding off, we pay tribute to a woman of formidable character and humor—my grandmother, Mary Slade. From the enigma of her ever-present green purse to her no-nonsense take on taboo topics, her stories are sure to spark a smile. We invite you to join us in this emotional journey as we reminisce, laugh, and perhaps shed a tear, and we encourage you to share the tales of those who’ve shaped your life, too. So tune in, as we celebrate the legacies that continue to touch our lives long after loved ones have departed.

Goodbye, Grandest of Dames - Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 

 

0:00:11 – Brian

Welcome to the Peas and Carrots Podcast. Hello, I’m Brian, I’m Kayla and good to have you along. It’s been a while it has, and y’all you just need to know that the studio in which this is recorded is a mess is also the studio from which I do fundraising for the ministry here, and so Miss Sanders just came in about five minutes ago and you’ve been reorganizing. 

 

0:00:37 – Kayla

Cleaning up is what I would call it. Well, I didn’t leave trash, no, but there’s stuff everywhere, good stuff, anyway. Where have we been? 

 

0:00:48 – Brian

Nowhere. We have been right here fundraising for the ministry. 

 

0:00:54 – Kayla

So our ministry is a nonprofit and we actually have to raise our own funds, and we do that twice a year. So we apologize. We were very ambitious, thinking that we would get to keep recording. We have not had time to do that, so yeah lots of very full days, but our ministry is funded for several months 102% I believe, yes, so. 

 

0:01:22 – Brian

Congratulations, Ms. Sanders. It’s awesome. 

 

0:01:24 – Kayla

We have some amazing team members and, yeah, as we record this, what is happening in town this week? B? 

 

0:01:32 – Brian

Virginia Tech’s graduation. 

 

0:01:34 – Kayla

It’s like ants on a molehill out there. 

 

0:01:36 – Brian

And let me just say this 20 minutes ago we were at a little place downtown here that sells ice cream and we walked down there and it’s like 20 000 people it’s pretty busy. 

 

0:01:48 – Kayla

They need to leave. I want my town back well, our town is about to get much quieter because all these people are leaving. 

 

0:01:54 – Brian

All the students will leave yeah you’ll be able to get through target in 10 minutes instead of 55. We will not that I’m grumpy little bit. There you go. We are excited for summer. 

 

0:02:08 – Kayla

Why. 

 

0:02:09 – Brian

One month from today, I believe we’ll be, at Disney? We will. We are Going on vacation. 

 

0:02:17 – Kayla

We have some vacations planned. We’ve had some opportunities presented to us to serve within our church and we’re excited about that opportunities presented to us to serve within our church and we’re excited about that. 

 

0:02:26 – Brian

I’ll be teaching the gospel I mean the gospel, the life of Joseph and you’ll be leading a women’s study. 

 

0:02:32 – Kayla

I’ll be helping with. There’s several of us that are going to facilitate that. I’m excited about that and scared all at the same time, but I’m looking forward to time in the garden. Finally, there’s snakes there. Time on our back deck. 

 

0:02:45 – Brian

Spiders. 

 

0:02:47 – Kayla

We’ll whack them with a shovel or something I don’t know. 

 

0:02:50 – Brian

You said you was excited to be in the garden. 

 

0:02:53 – Kayla

You’re looking forward to getting outside. I am. 

 

0:02:58 – Brian

Our back deck is one of our favorite places and I really struggle with allergies, but it seems as if my allergist has me on a good cocktail, shall we say, of medications, when I can get them. 

 

0:03:14 – Kayla

At the end of April we lost a giant and we’re going to talk about that in a few minutes. My grandma passed away, so we will come back to that in just a few minutes, but we do have some reflections we would like to share. 

 

0:03:30 – Brian

It’s going to be fun, so stick around Boundaries. It’s a favorite topic of yours. You read books about it and you talk about it every now and then. 

 

0:03:43 – Kayla

They’re very important to me, books about it and you talk about it every now and then. They’re very important to me. You and I have been talking about this some lately because there are a lot of hot takes on boundaries and a lot of myths, so we thought that we would take just a minute. You’ve read some of these books as well, so I want to give full credit that some of our resource here is coming from a book Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab, and she is much more experienced in all this, but we have both been able to take some knowledge from what she has written about. But there’s this kind of mentality that when you say the word boundaries, some people, people, just they start to twitch because it’s like, oh, nobody should do that. So we’re going to dive in and just spend a very short amount of time because again today we really want to share with you about my grandma. But what would you say is the first myth? 

 

0:04:42 – Brian

That good Christians don’t need boundaries, because we’re called to love everyone. And we are called to love everyone and you are called to forgive, but it doesn’t mean you have to do life with that person. You can forgive them, you can set a boundary, but you don’t have to do life with them because you don’t have to keep taking that. 

 

0:05:00 – Kayla

Well, one of the things that you and I have learned. Thank you, therapy. Some people are not safe, and this can range from for various people. If this speaks to you, it’s because you’re feeling that someone is not safe physically or mentally or emotionally for you, and there is a verse Romans 12, 18 comes to mind If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. 

 

0:05:28 – Brian

Yeah, as far as it depends on you. Yeah, if you’ve gone as far as you can go, if you’ve done all you can do and that person still is abusive or manipulative over and over again. Now, this is separate from forgiveness. You can forgive, but you don’t have to keep going back and taking that abuse. Yeah, so that’s a different thing. 

 

0:05:49 – Kayla

And here’s one truth that resonates for me we live in a broken world, and sometimes living in a broken world that has no boundaries. 

 

0:06:00 – Brian

Broken people continue to break others, and that’s not a good place so you know, some people are going to say to us that actually boundaries say that like I don’t care yeah, that’s our second myth and actually it’s saying you know, first of all I care about myself yeah but I can’t right now. What’s that mean? 

 

0:06:21 – Kayla

I can’t right it means maybe, that someone has so much on their plate already. I can’t take that on right now, or I can’t be available right now, or I can’t make time for that right now, or I want to help you, but I don’t feel I’m qualified to give the help you need. Sometimes people genuinely need to go talk to a therapist. A professional. 

 

0:06:44 – Brian

Sometimes people genuinely need to go talk to a therapist. 

 

0:06:46 – Kayla

Yeah to a professional. We aren’t all necessarily meant to fix everyone else’s problems. 

 

0:06:51 – Brian

And it’s okay to say I’d prefer not to talk about that. Yeah, you don’t have to be an open book to everybody. 

 

0:06:59 – Kayla

Think about Thanksgiving dinner, some of the questions that the family member you haven’t seen for 364 days. I’re on turkey. I know, I realize that there are certain things that you may want to be able to look at them and say I’d prefer not to talk about that. If it’s your personal life or it’s your decisions you’re making, what’s something else that comes to mind? 

 

0:07:21 – Brian

I’m not seeking advice. I just need to decompress, and that’s something that you say to me on a weekly basis. 

 

0:07:27 – Kayla

I say it a little different than that, though. What is it? I usually say to you B I’m not looking for you to fix this. I just want you to listen, but I’m built to fix, but you’ve gotten so good at it you really have. 

 

0:07:40 – Brian

As long as. 

 

0:07:41 – Kayla

I give the disclaimer. Don’t try to fix this. 

 

0:07:44 – Brian

Okay, all right, I’m a good fixer. There’s another one. 

 

0:07:49 – Kayla

I’m sorry, but we disagree over this. However, my love for you has not changed. So there are people that they don’t like the boundary of disagreeing, that they feel like if you’re really a good, a friend or spouse or I don’t know what a family member, you’re going to always agree that’s not true, and it’s not true you can have different opinions and yeah and still get along. 

 

0:08:17 – Brian

Uh, my no is to protect both of us no is a complete sentence I guess for me I say no. There are certain people like you and maybe two other people that I should explain that to if it’s a personal nature but others. No, I don’t owe you an explanation about certain things in my life or certain things that I’ve been through. 

 

0:08:44 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:08:45 – Brian

And I think that that’s a very good boundary. What’s the third myth, Ms Kayla? 

 

0:08:51 – Kayla

Boundaries are just a justification for holding people at arm’s length. 

 

0:08:55 – Brian

That’s. 

 

0:08:57 – Kayla

But they can actually include things like what Well, not sharing confidences. Yeah, you don’t have to be an open book to everybody. No, you’re not meant to be. You don’t have to be an open book to everybody. No, you’re not meant to be. 

 

0:09:08 – Brian

You don’t have to demand people’s time, yeah. 

 

0:09:12 – Kayla

Sometimes you have to refuse space to others. You literally have to say I cannot do this relationship or I cannot spend this time with you.

 

0:09:24 – Brian

Here’s something I’m guilty of is telling people how to feel. So, because I like everything to be at peace, I like everybody to be happy, I like everything to be like a calm sea, and it’s not because, if it’s not, it affects me in a negative manner and that’s selfish and that’s that’s just. That’s just my broken, but I don’t have the right to tell people well, this is how you should feel about that. That’s the Lord’s job to do that. 

 

0:09:55 – Kayla

And another one, finally, is for this myth is not respecting their boundaries. There’s got to be give and take. If I’m asking someone to accept that I’d prefer not to talk about certain things, or I’d prefer to be able to feel how I want to feel, or I want to be okay with us disagreeing, or I can’t, right now, I’ve got to give other people the same freedom. And then finally, our fourth, and this one’s a quick hit Only people in dysfunctional relationships need boundaries. 

 

0:10:28 – Brian

No, that’s not true, and let me say this Everybody practices boundaries. Yes, you need to know that, whether you think you do or not. Whether you, think you do or not. Yeah, because with your best friend you’re going to share the bulk of your thoughts and your feelings, or whatever, somebody who you just met. Hopefully, not, hopefully not. 

 

0:10:47 – Kayla

You see, that’s a little awkward. 

 

0:10:49 – Brian

Yeah. 

 

0:10:53 – Kayla

So boundaries actually create healthy relationships. That’s the whole point of this is if you are willing to accept that boundaries exist and they have value, to accept that boundaries exist and they have value. The last thing we will say if someone is telling you that boundaries make you an evil person, that’s a red flag, because it definitely means that they don’t handle boundaries well. 

 

0:11:17 – Brian

Yeah, so be cautious and be wise and remember boundaries are good things whenever they’re practiced within a biblical context. Your grandma.

 

0:11:31 – Kayla

Yeah, so a couple of weeks ago I got word that my grandmother had passed away. Now let me start by saying this she was 94 years old. 

 

She lived in Hadley she lived in Hadley, Suffolk in England. She had a full and wonderful life. A half of her family lives in America. The other half lives in England. She spent a lot of time coming back and forth across the ocean to visit with all of us. She stood at four feet 11 and a half an inch. We were talking about Four foot 11 and a half an inch. Sorry four foot 11 inches and half an inch. Do not forget her half an inch. 

 

0:12:08 – Brian

We were talking about this last night and I said why you got to say half an inch and how would she respond if you didn’t include the half an inch? Oh, she was ticked yeah. Was she really oh? 

 

0:12:17 – Kayla

that half an inch was important because she was nearly five feet tall. So that half an inch was important because she was nearly five feet tall. So she was little, but to us as a family she was a giant. 

 

0:12:27 – Brian

Made out of metal. Made out of steel. 

 

0:12:30 – Kayla

For me, she was a safe place when I was growing up. She was the glue that held our family together. I remember her roses chocolate candy tin, which she gifted to me later in life and I still have it. She would watch the original Poseidon Adventure movie with me over and over. 

 

0:12:52 – Brian

How many times do you think you’ve seen that? 

 

0:12:53 – Kayla

Well, let’s just say that the last time she visited our house and I asked her if she’d watch it, her response was oh, bloody hell. Okay, and she sat through it, but it kind of let me know that she’d had enough.

 

0:13:07 – Brian

Okay, so Grandma, she was married to Norman, her husband 50 years at least, 50, 51. 

 

0:13:16 – Kayla

Right at 50 years. He passed away after that so they were very spicy with each other. I mean he loved to wind her up, so she would go to the pub almost every night. She would walk down to the pub. 

 

0:13:30 – Brian

Y’all are getting the real y’all getting the underbelly this week. 

 

0:13:33 – Kayla

One summer I had gone to spend three months with my grandmother, and I’d gone to the pub with her most every night. But this night I was tired and so I opted to stay home and just spend some time, you know, chilling on the couch. Well, that front door clicked shut, and no sooner had she left than my granddad comes out of his room. Context my grandfather had a stroke when I was very young, so I hear these feet shuffling down the hall. He comes and sits down on the couch next to me. 

 

0:14:05 – Brian

Michaela. 

 

0:14:06 – Kayla

Michaela, you want to watch TV. So we watch television together. Five minutes before it’s time for her to come home from the pub, he doesn’t say goodnight, goodbye, sayonara. He gets up off the couch, shuffles back down the hall, click and shuts his bedroom door and my grandmother walks in five minutes later and I am dying laughing on the inside. 

 

0:14:30 – Brian

Now she went to the pub every night. 

 

0:14:32 – Kayla

At that time yes, she would go to the pub Three hours a night. About three hours a night. If you visited her, that’s fine, but you were going to visit her at the pub at that time of night. 

 

0:14:42 – Brian

She wasn’t giving that up. That was her that was her thing, that was her people, that was her community. They’d play trivia. 

 

0:14:47 – Kayla

She had an amazing community there, to the degree that there will be a wake at the pub in my grandmother’s honor, I think that’s fantastic, but we’ve had some fun with her through the years B. What happened at our wedding. 

 

0:15:02 – Brian

Hang on. Before we do that, we went to England for your grandparents’ 50th wedding anniversary. We did. We walked in the house, uh-huh, and I love your grandmother Can you describe the kitchen to our listeners Well.

 

0:15:20 – Kayla

It was chaotic, but she had done her bit for years. I mean, in her defense she used to be. There’s a British phrase she had done her bit. 

 

0:15:29 – Brian

Yeah. 

 

0:15:30 – Kayla

Towards the end, she just it didn’t matter so, but that was. Yeah, I want to be careful what I share and what I don’t. But yeah, she just she wasn’t much for housecleaning. Towards the end, okay, but at our wedding, something happened that caught you totally off guard. 

 

0:15:51 – Brian

We were leaving to go on the honeymoon. We were outside. 

 

0:15:54 – Kayla

We were saying goodbye to everybody. 

 

0:15:57 – Brian

And they were supposed to throw bird seed at us as we walked down this thing. 

 

0:16:01 – Kayla

Well, somebody had given my grandmother a bucket, yeah, and she were supposed to throw bird seed at us as we walked down this thing. 

 

0:16:03 – Brian

Well, somebody had given my grandmother a bucket, yeah, and she comes up to me, pulls the back of my pants out and pours bird seed down my bucket down my hind end. That was an uncomfortable ride to the hotel. 

 

0:16:18 – Kayla

Let me just say Three hours yes. 

 

0:16:20 – Brian

Birds were attacking the truck. And I’m kidding, oh, they were not. But she just say Three hours yes, birds were attacking the truck, and I’m kidding, oh, they were not. But she just found that hysterical, also at the wedding. 

 

0:16:28 – Kayla

If you watch the wedding video you might see her put her teeth in. 

 

0:16:33 – Brian

She goes down the aisle to her seat With her big green purse. What was in that purse? 

 

0:16:40 – Kayla

Everything. No, what was in it? 

 

0:16:41 – Brian

Oh, everything. No, what was in it? 

 

0:16:42 – Kayla

Oh, her life insurance papers, her will, her certificates, her bank books. Okay, and that purse went everywhere. 

 

0:16:49 – Brian

When you say everywhere Bathroom. She didn’t yes sir. She took if she was in the living room. 

 

0:16:57 – Kayla

If she was at our house and she went to the bathroom, she took a purse with her. 

 

0:17:00 – Brian

What about in her own house? 

 

0:17:01 – Kayla

I don’t think so, but she was at home. 

 

0:17:05 – Brian

I love her and your grandma’s name. 

 

0:17:08 – Kayla

Mary. 

 

0:17:09 – Brian

Mary Slade. 

 

0:17:11 – Kayla

She was the OG for practicing boundaries. You did not discuss government politics, religion or money in front of her. 

 

0:17:21 – Brian

Or sex. 

 

0:17:22 – Kayla

With family in two countries. She knew or money in front of her or sex With family in two countries. She knew how to minimize squabbles and that’s how she did it. She was brilliant. So back in the day, before boundaries even had like a label, she made clear that we were, and I mean, you did not want to incur her wrath so you did not. But I will say this. I watched her sit with you for about two and a half hours One day. You were curious about British government and she knew you weren’t taking fun at her. So she sat there and answered every question that you had about British government, and the rest of us were just in awe of the fact that you were getting away with this. So we’re going to we’re going to say this delicately she had an issue Grandma had a flatulence issue. 

 

She did. That’s a very nice way to put it. 

 

0:18:12 – Brian

But she never took responsibility for it. It was always something Okay. So we’re going to meet her for the first time. I think she was actually coming over here and you pull me aside and you say, baby, I need to tell you something? 

 

0:18:26 – Kayla

What was the first time you were meeting her?

 

0:18:28 – Brian

I said baby, I need to be with you for something, that’s okay. You said my grandma farts a lot. I said wait a minute. Run that by me one more time. 

 

0:18:41 – Kayla

But she’s the most pristine woman you could ever have wanted to meet. 

 

0:18:45 – Brian

But that was her thing if she was sitting, but she never took responsibility for it, for example like a sailor. So if she passed it would, it’d be bloody cough syrup, bloody coke, oh, bloody liver and onions, I mean. And here’s the thing, she knew what’s going to happen because she’d actually raise up, like she would literally raise up to push it out. This happened and I am in, I am in awe. We’re delicately in the oversharing place of life there’s this little four foot eleven and a half lady blowing, I mean, but never took, I mean she never said it was her fault. No, it was always something else that attributed to it Bloody medicine. 

 

0:19:33 – Kayla

It’s just something and the rest of us are just trying to keep a straight face. Oh it’s hysterical. 

 

0:19:39 – Brian

Now we told y’all that she went to the pub every night the day of the wedding or the day before the wedding. 

 

0:19:48 – Kayla

The morning of the wedding, my grandmother wanted to host a brunch for my bridesmaids and my wedding party. Well, the place that we could figure out that could do this for us at that time of day was Applebee’s. So we end up at Applebee’s. I’m wiping away tears, and she offered everyone at the table a beer and Kayla and all of her bridesmaids come from this little conservative. Baptist college. Yeah, but that was her and she, oh girls. 

 

0:20:21 – Brian

would y’all like a brew? 

 

0:20:24 – Kayla

She was the most responsible and yet generous woman when it came to her money. She saved relentlessly, but she gave so big heartedly. I have to say this on a serious note. I embraced her love of family gardening. I remember many times she and I would be out weeding her garden, taking care of her flowers. We loved puzzles. We loved dogs. She always called sprocket pooch how’s the pooch? I inherited her practicality with money and resources. I don’t like to waste anything, and I get that from her. I have watched my grandmother sit and knit her own sweater set, wear it for several months, then unravel it and re-knit in another pattern. She was that generation that you just did not waste things. You used them until they were no longer usable, and so I had a front row seat to that. She did not have much for lavish. 

 

0:21:32 – Brian

Well, let’s be honest, though, but yet you don’t knit Right.

 

0:21:35 – Kayla

We’ll get to that, okay, yeah, that’s just no. So she tried.

 

0:21:39 – Brian

There’s another favorite story of mine yeah, you and your mom took your grandma out to a Chinese restaurant. It’s one of these buffets. Yeah, like you had all this Chinese food, Chinese food, and there’s one long thing of desserts. Tell everybody. 

 

0:21:52 – Kayla

She had so much dessert we could not see her head. She had her plate, she was walking back to the table. 

 

0:22:01 – Brian

Hang on, is this her? It’s stacked that high but she had not gone to any, that was her dinner. So she didn’t eat any egg, fuyon or General Tso’s chicken. 

 

0:22:08 – Kayla

She went straight to the desserts. She was my hero, I mean a plate as tall as her head. We could not see her face behind her dessert. 

 

0:22:16 – Brian

Did y’all laugh. 

 

0:22:20 – Kayla

Died laughing. What could not see her face behind her dessert? Did y’all laugh? Did you died laughing? What’d she say shut up. So yeah, so we were at a wedding, my brother was getting married and you were supposed to be unbeknownst to you. You were supposed to be babysitting grandma the wedding’s outside. 

 

0:22:33 – Brian

It’s in Arizona, 110 degrees, I kid you not and so stayed in the it’s attached to this resort. So I stayed inside the resort until wedding’s supposed to be at 10 o’clock. At 9:59, I walk out because I know I’m going to be sweating like a dog. Well, I did not know, grandma had been looking for me and there’s two or 300 people already seated facing the front. Grandma is facing the front as well, but she’s been looking for me. Well, I walk out and in front of and she sees me. 

 

0:23:04 – Kayla

She stands up. 

 

0:23:05 – Brian

In front of all these people. Brian, where the bloody hell have you been? I’m dying up here. Well, they had hauled in this fan A stadium fan it’s some kind of huge fan and turn this on. I I mean, there’s 300 people, there’s 300 sets of eyes watching this. I turn on the fan and it had one speed and it was it just, oh, that blew her hair back. Her hair is now blown back. So she said it’s too much, it’s too much, so I got to turn it off. Oh, and then the wedding started. 

 

We couldn’t get her hair fixed for the pictures no afterwards you couldn’t get her hair fixed One of my favorite, favorite memories of her. I have one more memory I want to share. I’ve never seen this. 

 

0:24:00 – Kayla

Okay. 

 

0:24:01 – Brian

But I love this image. 

 

0:24:03 – Kayla

Grandma used to smoke Mm-hmm and she would fly to New Orleans Now, hang on, I need to set the stage, okay. 

 

0:24:11 – Brian

And there was this half a wall. As you come off the jetway, there was half a wall and this is when you could actually go back to the gate. Yeah, people back then and y’all said you couldn’t see her, we couldn’t see, but we could see the trail of smoke. Trail of smoke y’all like there’s grandma, there she comes, yeah, and she turned the corner have her cigarette. 

 

0:24:32 – Kayla

Yep, oh yeah, they say I have her hands and I find myself staring them a lot and sadly. But this is where it gets funny. These hands did not figure out knitting and sewing. I tried, Grandma, I really did. She was very patient, she tried to teach me to knit, but it just wasn’t working. 

 

You did cross-stitch for a while I did cross stitch but knitting and sewing. That gene did not pass to me. So I’m proud to have her hands, but sadly my clothes come from the store. And she even gave up and handed me an envelope full of money and said oh, go shopping. So yeah, we tried. The most important thing to me was that she loved you. 

 

0:25:21 – Brian

Oh, I loved her. 

 

0:25:23 – Kayla

And that meant a lot to me. I needed my grandmother’s approval, oh, and it came quick and easy and watching you with both my grandfather and her. She absolutely delighted in you, so we will miss her. But, as you can tell, we could go on for hours. We have a lot of stories. 

 

0:25:44 – Brian

We have time for one more. Can I tell one more story? 

 

0:25:47 – Kayla

Maybe. Okay, I’m already in so much trouble about some of what you’ve shared. 

 

0:25:51 – Brian

This is before I knew you. They came to America to visit and your grandfather got the shingles, oh my goodness, and he was in the back bedroom. 

 

0:25:59 – Kayla

But and your grandfather got the shingles, oh my goodness, and he was in the back bedroom, but we did not know. 

 

0:26:01 – Brian

he had shingles, so and it’s August and he’s in Louisiana and he’s wearing thermal underwear. Ok, so he’s in the back bedroom suffering. She didn’t know this. Well, they’d be sitting there, so let us role play this, because she was tired of dealing with. 

 

0:26:19 – Kayla

Well, he, legit, was just sitting around. It was to the point where he was just sitting around in his shorts and his like tank top, but they were thermal and it’s August in Louisiana, so everybody just assumed the poor man had a heat rash. 

 

So he’s sitting under the fan Picture that he’s in the living room just sitting in nothing but his skivvies under the fan and he’s not healing. The. The air quotes rash is not going away. So we finally take him to the doctor. The doctor says this poor man does not have heat rash, he’s got shingles and so he’s miserable. He wants to go home. 

 

0:26:56 – Brian

So he’s in the bed fast forward to. 

 

0:26:58 – Kayla

He’s pouting and he’s laying in the bed. 

 

0:27:00 – Brian

So here we go, my grandma’s in the living room. 

 

0:27:03 – Kayla

Mary, what Mary, oh, what the bloody hell do you want Norman. 

 

0:27:09 – Brian

This went on for how long? Like 10 minutes, and it finally got to where it was Mary and she’d respond with Norman. They just went back and forth Like a tennis match. Miss Kayla, you’d make her proud and she was very, very proud of you and you know that, and she loved you dearly. 

 

0:27:27 – Kayla

And one day we will get to spend the rest of our life with her. 

 

0:27:32 – Brian

So yeah, so y’all, before we all start crying here, we’d like to give you a peas and carrots coffee mug, as well as some, as Miss Kayla calls them, cute little stickers. Yes, you have to answer a trivia question to get that, and to do that, you go to our website. 

 

0:27:48 – Kayla

Peasandcarrotspodcast.com. And when you go to the website, look for the trivia button. If you will click that button, again that’s peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Again, that’s peasandcarrotspodcast.com. 

 

0:27:58 – Brian

The question is who in your life has had a positive impact to who you are today? Yeah, who in your life has so influenced you that you’re a better person because of it? 

 

0:28:10 – Kayla

And we’d love to know why. Yeah, so yeah, go to our website. Click the trivia button. 

 

0:28:19 – Brian

You can search the Peas and Carrots Podcast wherever you get your podcasts, or visit our website peasandcarrotspodcast.com, and when you do, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast. 

 

0:28:26 – Kayla

You can also follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast. Mary! Norman!

 

0:28:33 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Growing through the challenges we face and finding hope along the way. That’s the Jesus Fix It Podcast with Jess. Check out jesusfixit.com or search Jesus Fix It wherever you listen to podcasts.

 

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Season 3, Episode 11: Progress Over Perfection

Progress Over Perfection
Progress Over Perfection - Episode Description
Our studio is bursting with quirks and chuckles, and we, Brian and Kayla, can’t wait to bring you into the fold. Picture this: a Christmas tree and an Easter rabbit in a humorous standoff, a Star Wars pen collection growing faster than the Millennium Falcon can make the Kessel Run, and us – the couple who opts for a single entrée to avoid dozing off at the dinner table. But it’s not all giggles and themed mugs; we’re baring our souls too. Sit with us as we navigate the winding roads of healing and growth that follow life’s setbacks, drawing powerful parallels between bouncing back from personal struggles and recovering from major surgery. It’s an intimate look at how embracing change makes us tougher, wiser, and ready for the next chapter.
Then, buckle up for both laughter and learnings as we recount travel tales that veer off the beaten path. You’ll get our top tips to keep your travels smooth, including the lifesaving power of snacks and the art of staying zen amidst chaos. Stories of our own misadventures, like a treacherous hike at Nakalula Falls and a dental fiasco in Greece, will remind you to pack flexibility alongside your sense of humor. Share a laugh with us and pick up some travel wisdom that might just save your next vacation from going awry. And who knows? Your own travel tip could land you a cozy spot on our show – plus, some Peas and Carrots swag to boot.
Progress Over Perfection - Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 

 

0:00:11 – Brian

Welcome to the Peas and Carrots Podcast. I’m Kayla and I’m Brian. Hello to this week’s vegetable patch edition. Mm-hmm. And we’re surrounded now by like new critters. 

 

0:00:24 – Kayla

We are and we were gifted a mug, a new critters we are. And we were gifted a mug, a new mug. 

 

0:00:28 – Brian

Yeah, like a camp style mug. 

 

0:00:31 – Kayla

It’s very cute. 

 

0:00:32 – Brian

From Joy FM, one of the PAR radio stations. They did a Peas and Carrots edition mug. 

 

0:00:39 – Kayla

And we have these new mic flags. What in the world does that mean? 

 

0:00:43 – Brian

These go on the end of the microphone so that when we do pictures or video or something like that, you’ll see the logo. 

 

0:00:51 – Kayla

I see a little pea and a carrot looking at me, so it’s very cute. 

 

0:00:55 – Brian

Very, what Cute. You love cute stuff, don’t you? I do. 

 

0:00:58 – Kayla

So for those keeping score, our Christmas tree did not come down. I’m okay with that well, it was a very cold and dreary week so it kind of worked out it was a dark and stormy night. 

 

It worked out in our favor, but we ended up. We had a very busy weekend last weekend and we were traveling for the first half of the week, so I just never got to it. And and now the Easter rabbit is staring at the tree. So I think we have a showdown. Coming Easter rabbit. I have this stuffed. Well, it’s not really stuffed. 

 

0:01:34 – Brian

I’ve always called him the Easter bunny. 

 

0:01:36 – Kayla

Well, he’s a rabbit, the one I’m talking about. It’s the one that I got before Pier 1 closed. 

 

0:01:42 – Brian

He sits on the I know what he’s talking about before Pier 1 closed. 

 

0:01:45 – Kayla

He sits on the. I know what you’re talking about. He’s got attitude, he’s so cute, but he’s staring at the tree. So yeah, anyway, easter and Christmas are colliding at our house. This is where we are. We’re just a hot mess. You have a new obsession. 

 

0:01:57 – Brian

I do. 

 

0:01:59 – Kayla

It’s fun. 

 

0:01:59 – Brian

It is. My executive assistant, Adam, got me a Darth Vader pin for Christmas, and, as you know, I’m a Star Wars fan, so he told me where he got it from. So now I have a Kylo Ren pin, an R2-D2 pin as well, and there’s a Yoda one as well, so I’m probably going to order that one soon as well. Hilarious, they write so well, do they? Yeah, they write well, so I’m probably going to order that one soon as well. Hilarious they write so well do they, yeah, they write well. 

 

0:02:28 – Kayla

B. 

 

0:02:29 – Brian

Yes. 

 

0:02:30 – Kayla

We have become that couple. 

 

0:02:32 – Brian

In what way? 

 

0:02:34 – Kayla

What do we do when we go to a restaurant, we now share one entree. 

 

0:02:37 – Brian

Yes, we most certainly do. I’m not ashamed of it. And if it’s dinner, we definitely do, because we can’t go to bed on a full stomach, no, and we go to bed so early now that yeah, I went to bed at 7:45 last night and I fell asleep, napped for an hour and a half in the chair, hour and a half before that. 

 

0:02:55 – Kayla

So yeah, again, it’s been a busy week, but we are those people. We used to make fun of those people. 

 

0:03:01 – Brian

You know that right, yes, so here we are, the knw cafeteria. So yeah, I mean I don’t. This is like I’m not ashamed. I don’t know about y’all, but I’m not ashamed. I thought I had healed from that. I thought I was over it yeah, yeah, oh. 

 

0:03:23 – Kayla

I recently found myself dealing with a situation that just shook me. It left me questioning so many things and it was a trigger and I know everyone throws that word around but I found myself in a situation that just upended me. And yet here was my takeaway my initial reaction was not the greatest, but I found myself processing and responding, ultimately, in healthier ways than my old self would have. I got there a lot faster than I used to, so there were a few things that I realized, and you and I started talking about this because we’ve both had some hard situations lately. And do you ever feel like you kind of want to climb out of your own skin and just observe and watch how you’re doing with certain things? 

 

0:04:19 – Brian

If it helped me lose weight. 

 

0:04:20 – Kayla

I’d do that. 

 

0:04:22 – Brian

Go ahead. 

 

0:04:24 – Kayla

But the first thing that I realized is healing is not linear. It’s natural to experience setbacks up and down and it’s a choice to just not go back to the old ways or to default to the negative thinking. But yes, it is very it’s like up, down down two steps forward, one steps back. So that’s the first thing I realized. 

 

0:04:50 – Brian

What I liken that to is that consider having major surgery, that you have some major surgery for something and yet the doctor says you will recover, yeah, okay. Well, whenever I hear recover, I’m thinking I’m going to feel exactly the way before. I ever had this problem. Well, that may not be the case, because you may leave with a limp, you can still walk, you can still do it, and the healing works. Or you may need some rehab, or just some rehab, yeah, but you may not return to your former self. But you’re able to move forward. And in that example, what I like to think is that you probably leave tougher. Yeah, you probably leave wiser. 

 

0:05:35 – Kayla

Because you have to be a little bit scrappy in the recovery.

 

0:05:39 – Brian

Yeah, so for me in that is, we have this false thing that because I’ve been through this, okay, I want to go back to what life was like before that happened. You’re not going to be able to go through that at all. Okay, for example, whenever my dad died, whenever your dad died, you can’t go back to life before that happened. You can’t have that kind of peace again, but you can have a new life. 

 

0:06:09 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:06:11 – Brian

And a life will actually grow up around that grief. That’s just an example. I’m using. 

 

0:06:16 – Kayla

That’s good. I’ve also been reminded that I’m not responsible all the time for what happens, because there are things outside of our control, but I am responsible for how I react in those situations. That is on me and that’s hard because we’re all human and sometimes that looks like we want to react in anger or we want to react in. 

 

0:06:46 – Brian

I would react in anger. 

 

0:06:48 – Kayla

Or we want justice or we want to have our say, and that’s not always the way it should be. Sometimes, the best thing we can do is just sit with it and ultimately ask God what are you trying to teach me here? What is it about me that you’re trying to grow in this process? 

 

0:07:10 – Brian

That makes me think of Joseph in the Old Testament. He was thrown into a pit sold into slavery. He was accused of a sexual crime that he didn’t commit, forgotten about in prison, finally got out, became governor of Egypt. 

 

0:07:27 – Kayla

And this was all after his brother sold him. 

 

0:07:29 – Brian

Yeah, this is all after yeah, he had such a smooth ride. Yeah, Got off on a great foot there. But throughout that whole time, when you read it, Joseph kept saying but the Lord is with me. 

 

0:07:42 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:07:43 – Brian

And I don’t know I’m going to be honest. I don’t know if I could say that I’m just being brutally honest. 

 

0:07:50 – Kayla

No, because I’d be like God where are you? 

 

0:07:52 – Brian

Yes. 

 

0:07:53 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:07:54 – Brian

That’s a faith, but at the same time, I also believe this that Joseph, while he’s in that pit, while he’s in that prison, the Lord would give grace for you to believe that, for you to trust in that. 

 

0:08:10 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:08:11 – Brian

So that’s where I am. So there’s a truth here. Joseph is a good reminder that God will use our mess and he’s not abandoned us. It may not feel like he’s there. 

 

0:08:24 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:08:26 – Brian

But he’s there. Therefore, think about this how many different things did Joseph have to go through before he felt healed, before he felt delivered? 

 

0:08:37 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:08:38 – Brian

And all that stuff he was going through. It was equipping him, getting him ready for what was coming. 

 

0:08:42 – Kayla

That’s right. Yeah Well, it made him a heck of a leader one day. 

 

0:08:45 – Brian

It did, yeah, it did. 

 

0:08:47 – Kayla

Another one for me. I can choose not to be defined by what is happening. 

 

0:08:54 – Brian

I don’t really want to talk about that. 

 

0:08:55 – Kayla

Rejection does not make me a reject. Being overlooked does not make me invisible. Making others feel small does not make me bigger. Make me bigger. Those are all truths that when we’re going through a hard situation, it’s good to reject those voices or those patterns of behavior that well, if I could just feel better about myself. At what cost are we going to do that? I think that’s the question we have to ask ourselves. And it’s hard. 

 

0:09:31 – Brian

You said I can be rejected, but I’m not a rejection. 

 

0:09:37 – Kayla

A reject yeah. 

 

0:09:38 – Brian

Reject. There’s a meme that keeps coming up on my Instagram and I haven’t shared it and it’s very personal to me. I don’t know how this meme keeps finding me. It says you have fat, you are not fat, and I’ve seen this like two or three times now and I get so emotional when I see it. 

 

0:10:03 – Kayla

Yeah. Because, you fear that. That’s how you are defined. 

 

0:10:07 – Brian

Oh yes, a hundred percent. Because whenever I walk into a room, the first thing you see about me is my size. Now, at the same time, you’re talking about rejection. This is hard for me, because I struggle with acceptance and rejection. That’s a big deal for me as an Enneagram too. A big deal for me as an Enneagram too. So I try to stay grounded, and I mean this because I remind myself that Jesus loves me, Jesus accepts me, and that you, Miss Kayla, you love me and that you have accepted me. 

 

0:10:41 – Kayla

And the truth is so do many others. But when you’re struggling with something that’s kind of kicked you on the back of your heels, it’s hard to believe that. Yes, the last one for me is progress over perfection. I live by the once. I know better, do better mindset, and as God reveals areas to me that I still need to work some more in it’s on me to embrace that, but also to accept that the truth is I’m created in his image. He loves me. He knows the things that I’m going to need some pruning or some time, and it doesn’t take anything away from how he sees me and how valued I am by him, from how he sees me and how valued I am by him. 

 

When I need to learn that lesson for the 10th or the 20th time or I regress to something that I thought that I had outgrown, it’s hard for me to forgive myself. When I do go back to either a pattern of behavior or a mindset where I’m believing all those worst like tapes running through my head. Well, you should have figured this out by now. You should have grown in this. This shouldn’t bother you anymore. This shouldn’t be something that you struggle with. God’s in the midst of all that, and there’s something he’s still wanting me to learn, and that’s why he keeps presenting these situations for me. 

 

0:12:13 – Brian

I struggle with perfection in certain areas, like whenever I speak before people. I want to be perfect. I don’t want to stutter, I want to have all the right points, and sometimes I’ll get trapped within my own personality, like I want to share a joke or something like that and that can derail me and that will beat me up. I want to be perfect when it comes to food, but I love pepperoni, so that gets me in trouble. 

 

0:12:46 – Kayla

You are brutal to yourself if you make a mistake during the day, like if you feel like you mis-stepped with a team member. 

 

0:12:54 – Brian

I feel like I’ve disappointed them and OK, this goes back to this, and now they’re not going to accept me, they’re going to reject me and ultimately they could leave the organization, and I’m trying hard to lay that expectation down. 

 

0:13:08 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:13:08 – Brian

Because it does suffocate me. And the bottom line there is remembering that we don’t have that expectation down. 

 

0:13:11 – Kayla

Yeah, because it does suffocate me, and the bottom line there is remembering that we don’t have that much control. God is ultimately sovereign over all of this. 

 

0:13:19 – Brian

That got said. You’re 100% right. Why do you have to be so smart and be so wise? 

 

0:13:26 – Kayla

Oh, I wish, oh, you are, you are. So there we go. Just some thoughts on if there’s something in your life that you’re struggling with and you feel like it’s just a broken record and you keep having to face this again and again, you keep having to revisit this hard situation, look back at how a former version of you would have dealt with it and see even the incremental ways that God is working in and through you. 

 

0:13:59 – Brian

Very powerful. Before we get started on this next segment, I just want to paint a picture for folks to, here we go. 

 

0:14:13 – Kayla

I just want to paint a picture for folks behind Miss Kayla. 

 

0:14:14 – Brian

There’s a table what in the world? 

 

0:14:16 – Kayla

and there are one two, three, you have four Godzillas sitting there are four Godzillas and there’s two or three more in my office. 

 

0:14:21 – Brian

I need to bring over this is out of control, but this is what a podcast studio should look like no, it should not yes and then behind her, against the wall, is Abraham L… 

 

0:14:30 – Kayla

It’s a real mix match of things in here. 

 

0:14:34 – Brian

I’ve got. 

 

0:14:34 – Kayla

Darth Vader to my left. 

 

0:14:37 – Brian

Wow, and then here on the studio console. 

 

0:14:40 – Kayla

Apparently, my only contribution is a Peas and Carrots stuffy, so.

 

0:14:48 – Brian

Bitter party of one. Your table is ready, anyway. Party of one. Here’s ready. Anyway, party of one. Here we are okay. 

 

0:14:53 – Kayla

So I, just now, I’m creeped out by what’s behind me he’s not gonna bother you he’s. He’s a titan. He saves, oh my gosh. Okay. So here we are our best travel tips and a couple of travel stories. So this will be fun. Um, it’s getting close to you. There’s spring break trips. It’s that time of year where people are going to start planning their summer vacation. So we thought we would share with you just a few things we’ve learned as a couple, and, of course, we’re being self-deprecating, so just bear with us. 

 

0:15:28 – Brian

But, for example, you need to accept that one of you likes to arrive at the airport three hours before the flight and the other one doesn’t mind getting there one hour before. So go ahead and accept that you’re going to get there Three hours before yes, you’re welcome. 

 

0:15:46 – Kayla

Never missed a flight because of me. 

 

0:15:47 – Brian

We live with an airport that has six gates. I don’t care, six Uh-huh. Never missed a flight because of me. We live with an airport that has six gates. Don’t care, six Uh-huh. We could get there 45 minutes before the flight and we’d be fine. 

 

0:15:58 – Kayla

So that leads to my next tip Pack snacks, because nothing says a bad travel day, like two hangry people who are likely also tired because one of them insisted on that three-hour pre-flight window. So pack snacks. 

 

0:16:17 – Brian

I’m a snack fan, you know. So yeah, crackers, that kind of stuff I’m good, and usually we’re there. So early in the morning that the little store, the little place isn’t open yet. Not that I’m angry about that. 

 

0:16:28 – Kayla

I’m a little sassy about this. 

 

0:16:29 – Brian

Okay, I’m not. You were going after Godzilla earlier. Oh my gosh, there it is there. If I can get one of those a day, I consider that a win, a successful day for the day. I can go home. I can go home all right. 

 

0:16:44 – Kayla

What would you say is your next tip? 

 

0:16:46 – Brian

okay, for me, my tip would be don’t create extra stress. Be the calm one. 

 

0:16:53 – Kayla

What does that mean? Tread carefully. 

 

0:16:59 – Brian

One of you is probably going to worry about everything. Is the gate going to change, is the plane going to be on time, will we land there on time? And your point I’m giving out a travel tip, okay, okay. So one of you will probably be worried about everything, the other one of you. You need to be calm and project that and that everything will be okay. And even if it’s not, what can you change about it? And you might get there a little bit later. So to me, that kind of helps balance things out. Okay, that’s my tip. 

 

0:17:35 – Kayla

Which lends to what you were also about to share, which is another good one Leverage your strengths, and that’s kind of what you were hinting at. Who can keep up with the details? That would be me we’re not naming names, oh, as if we weren’t with the. Don’t create stress. And who can weave in spontaneity and fun? Because you do. Sometimes you just need to chill out and there are things again. Wow, there’s a lot about control in this episode, but there are things that you can control and there are things you can’t. So one of you needs to keep up with the time of the flights and all that jazz, but one of you needs to make sure that you’re having fun along the way. So there we go. 

 

0:18:23 – Brian

For this is my final tip Go somewhere you love Now. I don’t mind trying a new adventure. That’s fine, but be comfortable with wherever you’re going to go. 

 

0:18:31 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:18:32 – Brian

Now we have changed our plans because, after we thought about it, we’re like, we’re not. 

 

0:18:36 – Kayla

There’s a lot going on in the world. We were actually we’ve shared in another podcast we were going to go to Italy this summer. After some discussion and just looking at well, first of all, some things going on in life around us and then things going on in the world around us, we opted to stay in the United. States this summer. So yeah, so yeah. Make sure that you’re both on the same page with your travel plans. Which lends us to a couple of stories. 

 

0:19:06 – Brian

A couple of stories. There was a concert series that would always show up in Gadsden, Alabama. I’m a big Southern Gospel music guy. There’s two groups Gold City and then the Kingsman. I’m a huge Kingsman fan. 

 

0:19:20 – Kayla

And we would go for their reunion. 

 

0:19:22 – Brian

Yes, we would go there for that, and there’s a place there called. 

 

0:19:27 – Kayla

Nakalula Falls. It’s beautiful. 

 

0:19:29 – Brian

It is, and it’s named after an Indian girl. 

 

0:19:32 – Kayla

Yeah, there’s this whole story. There’s a whole story there.

 

0:19:35 – Brian

But you can go hiking down to Noccalula Falls. We were told it was a moderate hike. 

 

0:19:43 – Kayla

Well, their definition of a moderate hiking trail does not match ours, because we nearly died. 

 

0:19:49 – Brian

Coming back up that. 

 

0:19:50 – Kayla

We got to the bottom it wasn’t bad. 

 

0:19:52 – Brian

Oh, it was too coming back up that. 

 

0:19:55 – Kayla

We got to the bottom. Going down wasn’t bad. Oh it was too. 

 

0:19:58 – Brian

But coming back up, but getting back up from I thought y’all were going to leave me down there. 

 

0:20:00 – Kayla

Listen, if they’d had cell phones back then, we’d have been texting somebody and saying send a helicopter. 

 

0:20:06 – Brian

Because it was rough, it was hot. 

 

0:20:08 – Kayla

Yes. 

 

0:20:09 – Brian

Oh, I think we have a picture of us coming up. Oh, hot, yes, oh, I think we have a picture of us coming up. 

 

0:20:12 – Kayla

Oh my gosh, yeah, it was not a good and y’all, this was back in the 90s and some girl had the idea to wear her denim overalls and I was dying by the time we got back to the top. 

 

0:20:23 – Brian

So then there was a time that we took a trip to Turkey, to the seven churches of the Revelation, uh-huh. On the way back, maybe was it to Greece or to Turkey. 

 

0:20:34 – Kayla

It was to Greece. This was when we went to Greece. 

 

0:20:37 – Brian

So we’re coming back from Greece on the plane and I look at you and your mouth is swollen. 

 

0:20:42 – Kayla

Like a chipmunk. 

 

0:20:43 – Brian

I said baby, are you okay? You’re like I’m hurting. 

 

0:20:46 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:20:47 – Brian

And on the flight from Greece to back to new Orleans, 14 hours. 

 

0:20:54 – Kayla

The dentist told me the next day that due to the change in pressure on the plane, an already aggravated wisdom tooth it caused a reaction. And it was impacted and it got very angry and so my entire jaw swelled. We got very angry and so my entire jaw swelled. We got home Sunday. I was at the dentist on Monday and on Wednesday I had all of my wisdom teeth out, so it was quite an adventure. 

 

0:21:22 – Brian

It was yeah, and it was. 

 

0:21:24 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:21:25 – Brian

I guess we’re scaring our people with our travel stories here. 

 

0:21:28 – Kayla

No, I mean, it was good. 

 

0:21:30 – Brian

You got to be flexible because stuff’s going to happen. That’s right, and remember this that whatever does happen, it will create a great story. 

 

0:21:38 – Kayla

Oh, absolutely. It’s very random, but anytime we mentor a young couple, the one thing we tell them about your wedding is something’s going to go wrong that day. 

 

0:21:49 – Brian

But you’re going to laugh about it later. 

 

0:21:51 – Kayla

It’s going to be the thing that you remember and you will laugh about it for years to come. So, as you are making your travel plans, just prepare for something to go sideways and just have fun with it. 

 

0:22:05 – Brian

I remember one time at Disney we were down there and we saw this family, probably five or six of them, leaving the hotel and they’re like are y’all ready to go to the happiest place on earth? And all the little kids. 

 

0:22:16 – Kayla

Everybody’s smiling, everybody’s smiling. 

 

0:22:18 – Brian

The girls are in their little princess outfits and we see them, I guess, four or five hours later at a Disney park and there’s a total meltdown. 

 

0:22:29 – Kayla

And it’s the adults having a meltdown, not the kids. The dad is losing it. 

 

0:22:33 – Brian

The dad says this is not the happiest. I mean he’s having a fit. We just kept on walking. 

 

0:22:39 – Kayla

We just kept laughing. 

 

0:22:40 – Brian

Dad needed a nap. Yeah, that would have been good. Hey, thanks for listening to this week’s episode, and you could win a peas and carrots coffee mug and Miss Kayla’s favorite, the stickers. A pack of stickers. Yeah so, but you have to answer a trivia question correctly, so you have to go to our website go to peasandcarrotspodcast.com. 

 

0:23:04 – Kayla

Look for the trivia button, click that and here’s what we want to know. Okay, what is a travel tip that you would share with us? Because I know there are many, many more. We did not share all of them, but what would you share with us and we’ll share that on a future podcast. 

 

0:23:23 – Brian

So what’s your travel tip? If you answer that question, you simply go to our website. 

 

0:23:28 – Kayla

Peasandcarrotspodcast.com 

 

0:23:30 – Brian

And you click on the trivia button, answer that question. When you do, we’ll send you a mug and some cute stickers. 

 

0:23:37 – Kayla

You can search Peas and Carrots Podcast wherever you get your podcasts, or visit our website at peasandcarrotspodcast.com. When you do, please don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast. 

 

0:23:47 – Brian

You can also follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast. I love all the Godzillas behind me. 

 

0:23:54 – Kayla

Oh my gosh. 

 

0:23:55 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Life’s not perfect. That’s why God gave us friends like Melody and Candi. Check out QuirksBumpsandBruises.com, or search Quirks, Bumps, and Bruises wherever you listen to podcasts. 

 

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