Season 3, Episode 29: Three Words

Can We Talk?
Three Words - Episode Description
Is it really fall without pumpkin spice? Join us as we bask in the seasonal shift heralded by cooler temperatures and vibrant leaves. We share laughs over Kayla’s pumpkin spice creamer purchase and recount the influx of students back in Blacksburg—affecting everything from traffic to our favorite dining spots. Kayla also gives a hilarious play-by-play of Brian’s evening snooze-fests, culminating in an unforgettable fireworks show that he mostly slept through. For a fun twist, we introduce “Three Words,” a new segment where we challenge ourselves to boil down our thoughts into just three words, sparking playful exchanges and testing our patience.
The heart of this episode lies in friendship and community. We celebrate the connections that make life richer, urging you to explore the Peas and Carrots Podcast on your favorite platforms and stay engaged through our website and social media. As we close, we share heartfelt reflections on our deep appreciation for each other and the incredible support from friends like Melody and Candy. It’s a warm, engaging chat that will leave you feeling the love and charm of the changing seasons. Don’t miss out on a conversation that underscores the magic of friendship and the delightful quirks of life.
Three Words - Transcript

00:00 – Announcer (None)
We go together like peas and carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast Sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch Brian and Kayla Sanders.

00:11 – Brian (None)
Welcome to the Peas and Carrots Podcast. Hi, I’m Kayla and I’m Brian. Welcome to this week’s edition. And, miss Sanders, yes, the trees are starting to turn here.

00:23 – Kayla (None)
They are. Summer is fading away.

00:28 – Brian (None)
Bye, Felicia.

00:31 – Kayla (None)
I have a confession. I actually bought some pumpkin spice creamer, so I’m kind of bougie and I use the Chobani Wait a minute, I own it, I own it. I bought the Chobani Wait a minute, I own it. Wait a minute, wait a minute, I own it. I bought the Chobani pumpkin creamer. It’s so good, but I’m not letting myself use it until the end of August. Why? Because then I feel like I can let go of summer and it can be fall.

01:02 – Announcer (None)
I love it. We’ll see, stay tuned.

01:04 – Brian (None)
The leaves are changing. I looked ahead at the forecast and I see the highs for some of the days are like in the 70s coming up.

01:12 – Kayla (None)
So I’m excited what’s happening in our town.

01:15 – Brian (None)
It’s filling up with people. All them students are coming back.

01:20 – Kayla (None)
So, for those who don’t know, we live in Christiansburg, but Blacksburg is our neighbor.

01:29 – Brian (None)
And Virginia Tech is outside our back door. And I like the students. I mean without them we wouldn’t have an economy here, wouldn’t have all these stores, that kind of stuff. But it’s a lot of people.

01:39 – Kayla (None)
It’s like day and night. It’s a different world when they are around. You either go eat at 4 o’clock or you’re eating at 9 o’clock. If you’re going to a restaurant, we’re more the 4 o’clock type people.

01:51 – Brian (None)
During the school year, we are and you get that senior special attempt.

02:00 – Kayla (None)
So we were talking the other night. This has been a summer full. We have been a summer full. We have had a really fun summer. We’ve traveled a lot, we’ve played a lot. But is anyone else?

02:16 – Brian (None)
craving a routine. I mean, yeah, I do enjoy routine. I sleep better with a routine. I keep peace in my head better with a routine.

02:27 – Kayla (None)
I’m just ready for it. Really I think that’s why I love the start of school is because I get back in a rhythm and we’ve been like unsupervised toddlers for the last three months. So, yeah, doing what, traveling and all the things? Yeah, doing what, traveling and all the things? Yeah, okay, it’s like we’ve had a routine for a week and then it’s gone. And a routine for a week and it’s gone. Yes, I understand.

02:53 – Brian (None)
So I’m ready, like the routine back at the gym, the routine back with our food.

02:58 – Kayla (None)
Yeah, I get it. So yeah, but thank you, summer, you’ve been fun.

03:02 – Brian (None)
I’m grateful that the Olympics are over. I can get back in my sleep routine.

03:06 – Kayla (None)
You slept through them anyway.

03:10 – Brian (None)
That was not a very helpful comment. Yes, some of them. I did sleep through. Well, when it hits about 840. You’re gone. I’m in my easy chair with a blanket. Just wake me up when you’re ready to go to bed. So I’m going to tell on you.

03:22 – Kayla (None)
Just wake me up when you’re ready to go to bed. So I’m going to tell on you. The other night I was watching there is a streaming channel that I can actually watch the fireworks at Disney and I was watching the fireworks at Epcot and I was loving it, but every time a firework went off you would go huh Because you were asleep and the firework would wake you up. It was a long day. It was a long day that day. It was a long day, but it was quite comical trying to watch.

03:50 – Announcer (None)
Did I enjoy them at least? No, you were out.

03:52 – Kayla (None)
Oh okay, you were gone, so we’re going to do something a little different. Okay, this segment is called Three Words.

04:03 – Brian (None)
Three Words.

04:04 – Kayla (None)
We’re going to say more by saying less. So no cheating, you’re not allowed to say anything more than the three words, not words.

04:14 – Brian (None)
I don’t work like this.

04:15 – Kayla (None)
Uh-uh, this is the rule.

04:16 – Brian (None)
I need words.

04:18 – Kayla (None)
Well, you get three and that’s it.

04:21 – Brian (None)
That’s it. I don’t get to explain myself.

04:24 – Kayla (None)
You say your three words and then whoever’s hearing it gets to receive it as they are meant to, without any explanation from you. You can do this Okay.

04:37 – Brian (None)
You start us off.

04:38 – Kayla (None)
For example, I love you.

04:41 – Brian (None)
Am I allowed to respond to that? I just listen, that’s all we’re doing.

04:45 – Kayla (None)
You come back with. This is a game of three words, the first thing that comes to your mind.

04:51 – Brian (None)
Am I reacting to you or you’re just my own?

04:52 – Kayla (None)
three you can, but you’re on three oh now I feel this pressure. I mean, I know your response would be.

05:00 – Brian (None)
I love you, but I know I’ve thrown you a curveball, but you can do this. Probably my actual response to you would be love you more.

05:12 – Kayla (None)
Of course.

05:13 – Brian (None)
Okay.

05:14 – Kayla (None)
My little sentimental oh here we go.

05:16 – Brian (None)
I was just trying to Okay.

05:19 – Kayla (None)
Okay, so three words.

05:20 – Brian (None)
You’re making fun of me about the.

05:21 – Kayla (None)
Olympics.

05:22 – Brian (None)
I’m a little sensitive right now. Okay, okay, reigning in.

05:24 – Kayla (None)
All right Three, okay, okay. Reigning in All right Three words.

05:27 – Brian (None)
Do hard things. Okay, see, and I feel this pressure to explain.

05:33 – Kayla (None)
Uh-uh, you’re not allowed to Practice the pause. That’s so hard to do, apparently, because you can’t do the three things. Apparently I can’t.

05:53 – Brian (None)
Read more books.

05:55 – Kayla (None)
Ooh, do the work.

05:59 – Brian (None)
Gosh, I want to say something. Okay, I feel I’m in this awkward tension Just keep going.

06:05 – Kayla (None)
What would be your next one?

06:07 – Brian (None)
Love her. Well, no, you weren’t supposed to say nothing. This is like a jacked up.

06:14 – Kayla (None)
Okay, well, this is really awkward. Following that, buy the shoes.

06:23 – Brian (None)
And you do.

06:24 – Kayla (None)
Yes, I do. Next one Is yours. Own your crap.

06:32 – Brian (None)
Spend money wisely.

06:35 – Kayla (None)
Ooh, jesus is enough.

06:39 – Brian (None)
Brush your teeth, it’s Okay. Well, I just hear.

06:44 – Kayla (None)
Okay.

06:50 – Brian (None)
Mind your business, brush your teeth. Be like lincoln read your bible I am just following the rules here, okay, never trust farting okay, never trust. Farting, that’s three words, oh my gosh, um especially wearing white britches stop three words, oh perhaps this one’s a good one you’re more upset about me using more than three words, three words that I use.

07:28 – Kayla (None)
I’m a little upset about both, but it’s okay, embrace your quirks. I’m trying.

07:39 – Brian (None)
Three words Experiences over things.

07:42 – Kayla (None)
Oh, buy less junk things.

07:47 – Brian (None)
Oh, buy less junk Love others well.

07:53 – Kayla (None)
Don’t post that, but it’s so funny.

07:57 – Brian (None)
Three words oh so funny it I can’t figure out three words to say there I’m trying to be Yoda over here, Get back up.

08:07 – Kayla (None)
Oh words to say there. I’m trying to be Yoda over here. Get back up. Never say never.

08:12 – Brian (None)
I wanted to say this, but I couldn’t figure out the third word, so I made a third word up. Okay, Okay, love Jesus bigly.

08:20 – Kayla (None)
Oh, okay, go to church. Okay, open your home.

08:29 – Brian (None)
The only people allowed at our house are announced for UPS, amazon and FedEx. I am not opening up the home for you. You ring my doorbell, I will look at you through the peephole and I will not open the door.

08:41 – Kayla (None)
Here’s another one. Take a nap.

08:45 – Brian (None)
How do you do that? You watch the Olympics or Disney stuff. Take a nap. I like take a nap. Okay, how about eat a snack?

08:54 – Kayla (None)
Oh, good one.

08:56 – Brian (None)
Okay.

08:57 – Kayla (None)
I’ve got one for you. Watch Star Wars.

09:04 – Brian (None)
That’s in the Gospel, according to Brian, chapter 3, verse 10 there you go okay three words come on three words. She is beautiful always be kind kiss her daily hold her hand. Okay, let’s not get too we’re gonna keep this pg in.

09:23 – Kayla (None)
well, at my let’s not get too. We got to keep this PG in.

09:28 – Brian (None)
Well, at my age it’s not all PG. I mean, it is PG, go ahead. What are you looking at me like that? I didn’t say anything bad. I didn’t say anything bad Behave Three words. Have fun daily.

09:43 – Kayla (None)
There we go.

09:44 – Brian (None)
Laugh at yourself. That’s a big one. That’s a big one.

09:46 – Kayla (None)
That is a big one. Very good Laugh at yourself. Okay, know your limits.

09:53 – Brian (None)
Watch Godzilla movies.

09:55 – Kayla (None)
Make more memories.

10:00 – Brian (None)
I don’t know how to make this one into three words, but I’d say trust God always.

10:07 – Kayla (None)
Be more transparent. That one does not apply to you.

10:14 – Brian (None)
See y’all, would y’all email in and pray for me? Sign up for the Brian prayer list. Okay, I don’t know, why are you being like this to me today After?

10:27 – Kayla (None)
what you just said. A minute ago, I didn’t say anything. Okay, you have a look when you’re being mischievous, and it was yeah, see, now you’re laughing at yourself. One more, give me one more. Oh, eat a popsicle. Cheer him on. So there we go. It’s a little game of three words.

10:48 – Brian (None)
Believe in yourself. So well, that was fun.

10:53 – Kayla (None)
It’s harder than you think, though Are we doing four words next week.

10:57 – Brian (None)
No, I mean in a month, we’ll have a paragraph going Stop.

11:07 – Kayla (None)
We have three words, three last words. We appreciate you. This has been a really fun ride and we’re still going, but we wanted to come to you, our listener. We just wrapped up. This is wild. We just finished our third year of this podcast and your words, your kindness, your engagement, your emails yeah, Text messages, videos, phone calls We’ve had it all and it means so much to us. It is scary. I never thought I would be this terrified doing something to put yourself out into the wild, and yet others have made space for us and we will always hold space for you.

11:56 – Brian (None)
Yeah, I’m just shocked by how God has used this little podcast and the lives that he weaves, I mean, and some of you have become our friends and that kind of stuff. So thank you for listening, thank you for sharing the podcast with your friends and your family, thanks for allowing the Lord to just use these words to impact your heart.

12:16 – Kayla (None)
Yeah, and know this everything we share with you, it’s either something that God is working on in us or he’s worked on, or it’s something that we want to share with you because you feel like family to us and it’s almost as if we’re sitting across from you at a coffee shop sharing a moment where we can just be real with each other.

12:46 – Brian (None)
And Miss Kayla’s being kind towards you and I’m trying to crack jokes. That’s what’s going on at that coffee shop.

12:53 – Kayla (None)
Very much so.

12:55 – Brian (None)
But it’s been a joy and we’re going to continue on.

12:57 – Kayla (None)
Yeah we’re not going anywhere, but we appreciate you.

13:01 – Brian (None)
So we’d like to send you a Peas and Carrots coffee mug, a Peas and Carrots pen notepad and some Cute little stickers. All you got to do is answer this particular trivia question.

13:12 – Kayla (None)
Yeah, as we say every week, go to our website peasandcarrotspodcastcom. Look for that trivia button. Click it. What are your three words? Share with us and you can share multiples if you want to, like we did. But yeah, go to the website. Click the trivia button.

13:34 – Brian (None)
What are your three words? That website is peasandcarrotspodcastcom. Hey, thanks for listening this week. It’s always a pleasure and, by the way, you can search the peas and podcast the peas and carrots podcast wherever you get your podcast, or visit our website at peasandcarrotspodcastcom.

13:51 – Kayla (None)
When you do, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast. You can follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast.

13:59 – Brian (None)
I have a final three words for you.

14:01 – Kayla (None)
Oh no.

14:02 – Brian (None)
I love you.

14:03 – Kayla (None)
Very good.

14:04 – Announcer (None)
For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcastcom. Life’s not perfect. That’s why God gave us friends like Melody and Candy. Check out quirks, bumps and bruisescom, or search quirks, bumps and bruises wherever you listen to podcasts.

 

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Season 3, Episode 23: May We (Re)Introduce Ourselves!

Can We Talk?
May We (Re)Introduce Ourselves! - Episode Description

Join us for a lively and heartwarming episode of the Peas and Carrots Podcast, where we share an overview of our bustling July schedule filled with church picnics, summer camps, Bible studies, and baseball games. We have some light-hearted moments to share, like Kayla’s undeniable love for ballpark snacks and a late-night ice cream run that ended in an amusing encounter. We’ll also touch on our bedtime routines and the challenges of sticking to them during summer’s extended daylight. For our new listeners, we’ll recount our 31-year marriage, our work in ministry with Positive Alternative Radio, and the serendipitous way we met in New Orleans, complete with Brian’s unforgettable first impression of Kayla.

Next, we take a heartfelt look at the keys to success in our marriage, discussing the profound ways our faith and love for the Lord shape our relationship. We emphasize the importance of being “all in” on friendships, work, and life itself. From our different approaches to planning and spontaneity to our shared magnetism for unusual stories, we reflect on the quirks that make us unique. Foundational principles like making Jesus the center, dying to ourselves daily, and understanding each other’s love languages are highlighted, along with the significance of communication and never-ending dates to keep our relationship vibrant and cherished.

Finally, we engage in a playful game of “This or That,” exploring our preferences and quirks that have developed over 31 years together. From choosing swimming pools over oceans to debating cake versus pie, this conversation highlights the comfort and simplicity found in long-term relationships.

May We (Re)Introduce Ourselves! - Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 

 

0:00:11 – Brian

Welcome to the peas and carrots podcast. Hi, I’m Brian, I’m Kayla, and Welcome to our little piece of the vegetable patch. I guess that’s how you say, it isn’t it? That is us, that’s us, mm-hmm. So what’s up in our world?

 

0:00:25 – Kayla

 July is busy. 

 

0:00:29 – Brian

Well, we got a church picnic. I’m cooking there, by the way. We got summer camp, which is a work event. We have a trip for that. 

 

0:00:39 – Kayla

Yeah, that’ll be a week. We’ve got various Bible studies we’re going to be part of. We have a ball game that we’re going to with our church family baseball. 

 

0:00:49 – Brian

We have other work trips. Let’s pause here. 

 

0:00:52 – Kayla

Miss Kayla doesn’t go to the ball game for the ball game now I do watch the game, but yes, I’m all about the snacks. I ain’t going to apologize. Cotton candy, maybe a little. 

 

0:01:06 – Brian

Nachos. 

 

0:01:07 – Kayla

Nachos and cheese. 

 

0:01:09 – Brian

Peanuts. 

 

0:01:10 – Kayla

No, I don’t do peanuts anymore because of your allergy. 

 

0:01:12 – Brian

Oh, I appreciate it. We all thank you. I thank you for that. You’re welcome. I don’t want to die If I ever get peanuts, it’s. 

 

0:01:18 – Kayla

you know I’m trying to bump you off, so so so if the hot dogs look good, I might have to. No, I’ll be. I’ll be better than I am usually, because you know whole healthy lifestyle thing we’re doing caramel, if they have caramel corn oh, forget it, it’s on you love caramel. I do don’t say yeah, okay, yeah, it’s a really fun, but busy month. 

 

0:01:42 – Brian

we have a lot of stuff going on, so does anybody find yourself? 

 

0:01:50 – Kayla

staying up a little bit later. I struggle with this because it’s summer and so it doesn’t get dark till what? 9:15? But there’s a spoiler what time do I? 

 

0:02:02 – Brian

like to go to bed 8.30 to 9. Yeah, but then we’ll lay there sharing reels till 10.30. Am I wrong or wrong. 

 

0:02:10 – Kayla

No, not usually that late. If we’ve got to be up at 5 the next morning, some nights we will share reels with each other for about 30 minutes. But yeah, You’re the worst. I wake up every morning to like 10 reels from you. 

 

0:02:26 – Brian

Well, I try to let you go to sleep. Thank you, you do so. Yeah, I have that CPAP. 

 

0:02:30 – Kayla

So, B, we’re going to tell on ourselves. There was a night last week that we did stay up later than we should have, and it kind of got us in trouble with Chick-fil-A. What did we do? 

 

0:02:41 – Brian

We told each other OK, we’re going to sneak over there, we’re going to get it’s five minutes from our house. We’re going to sneak over there, we’re going to get us an ice cream cone and we’ll get back home. This was the night of the debate and we said you know what, we’ll be back in time to watch the debate. And we both said we’re not going to tell anybody about this, it’s going to be our little secret, because we turned over a new leaf, you know we’ve been doing really well. 

 

0:03:08 – Kayla

We just decided we were going to splurge, but we didn’t want to have to fess up to this. But God checked us, as he always does. 

 

0:03:14 – Brian

Chick-fil-A drive-thru paid for it and we get up to where you collect your food, and so I hear Mr. Sanders turned, and it’s one of the youth from our church. 

 

0:03:27 – Kayla

Of course it is. 

 

0:03:28 – Brian

And so. 

 

0:03:32 – Kayla

He hands us our ice cream. 

 

0:03:32 – Brian

So we’re busted, just busted, so we couldn’t get away with that one, but the ice cream was really good. And it’s allergen free for me. Yeah, so I try to avoid there, but that night it was. 

 

0:03:46 – Kayla

Now I want ice cream. 

 

0:03:47 – Brian

Well, anything my darling wants, my darling gets. 

 

0:03:54 – Kayla

May we reintroduce ourselves. 

 

0:03:56 – Brian

Yes, we have a lot of new listeners to the podcast. We do so. I’m Brian, I’m Kayla, we’ve been married going on. 

 

0:04:05 – Kayla

It will be 31 years in August. Yeah. 

 

0:04:08 – Brian

We’re both believers in Jesus. We are conservative Presbyterians. I’d like to say that we both work in ministry. 

 

0:04:18 – Kayla

We do. We work with Positive Alternative Radio and it has five sister stations and we do also have an app that people can listen to, but we are located in Blacksburg. We have stations in Kentucky, Tennessee, North Carolina, Virginia, but we are here. The hub is here in Blacksburg, Virginia, which is where our offices are. Hub is here in Blacksburg, Virginia, which is where our offices are. You are our executive vice president, I am our vice president for partner service. Yeah, for donor care. So how did we meet? 

 

0:04:56 – Brian

Oh gosh, I was serving at the Christian radio station in New Orleans, WBSN Life Songs, and our office manager went on maternity leave, and so you came in for the summer. I did, and took her role for the summer. 

 

0:05:14 – Kayla

And my parents purchased your boss’s trailer on campus. 

 

0:05:19 – Brian

So, and I remember walking in and I saw you the first time and I skipped, I didn’t even say hi to you, I just walked right past you Not even a. 

 

0:05:28 – Kayla

who are you? 

 

0:05:29 – Brian

Nope, I walked right past. You went back to my friend’s office, Stan, and I told him I have to kiss that girl or I will die. I found you were just that beautiful, and still are. 

 

0:05:43 – Kayla

No. 

 

0:05:45 – Brian

So that’s how we met. 

 

0:05:46 – Kayla

We spent the whole summer getting to know each other. You were a very curious person. 

 

0:05:50 – Brian

And you flirted, I did flirt with you. All throughout the summer. Yes, asked her out various times, three times. What did you tell me each time? 

 

0:05:57 – Kayla

No, because my grandma said do not date your boss. 

 

0:06:02 – Brian

But you flirted with me the whole time. Do not date your boss, but you flirted with me the whole time. 

 

0:06:06 – Kayla

I did, but it was a great summer, and then we did end up having our first date after I went back to college. You know, each couple has to decide this for themselves. We met in June, we started dating in September, we got engaged in December and we have been together for, like we said, nearly 31 years. 

 

0:06:26 – Brian

Got married in August. 

 

0:06:28 – Kayla

We have spent. 11 of those years we lived in New Orleans, Louisiana, and the last 20 years we have been here in Virginia. 

 

0:06:38 – Brian

We were never able to have children, no, but we did have— A very, very, very spooled dog we did. His name was Sprocket. We had him. For what? Very, very spool dog? We did, his name was Sprocket. 

 

0:06:46 – Kayla

We had him for what? 14 and a half years we did at 13. 

 

0:06:51 – Brian

And 13, 14, I don’t know. He was with us a long time and it wasn’t long enough, but he was the world’s greatest pup. 

 

0:06:59 – Kayla

He really was. He had the quirkiest personality. 

 

0:07:03 – Brian

Love him, yeah Still do so, Miss Sanders, how would you describe me? 

 

0:07:10 – Kayla

How would I describe me? You have a heart the size of Texas. Your love for the Lord is undeniable. Anyone who meets you knows that you have a passion for exploring and understanding Scripture and getting to know God more deeply. You are all in. You’re all in on friendships. You’re all in on your work. You live out loud. You love life. You are exuberant, you are charming, you are generous. You’re one of the most hilarious people I’ve ever had the privilege of doing life with. Um. You’re a magnet for crazy. True, we share stories on here all the time of strange things that happen. It just seems to find you. I just show up. You are an incredible storyteller and you make others feel at ease. I find it amazing the way when we are with new people, you help them to feel instantly comfortable. You also have never left me wondering if I am cherished by you. Since day one, I have known where I stand with B. 

 

0:08:31 – Brian

How would I describe you? Beautiful? You’re more beautiful today than you were the day I married you. 

 

0:08:38 – Kayla

Whatever, I’m not even sure I come out of my hair today. 

 

0:08:41 – Brian

See, I didn’t say a word the whole time she said all of it. I didn’t say a word. 

 

0:08:46 – Kayla

Even though I disagree with most of it. 

 

0:08:50 – Brian

You are more beautiful today than the day that I married you. You are kind, you are patient, you are full of grace, you are stately, you are proper. 

 

0:09:03 – Kayla

I’m British. 

 

0:09:05 – Brian

She’s British. 

 

0:09:05 – Kayla

We have to be proper. 

 

0:09:07 – Brian

She is, she’s proper. You love Jesus, your faith. I’m jealous of your faith because you just believing and you just trusting and I can’t do that. You are a planner. You like for things A, b, c, d, e, f, g. You like that. I’m like, well, we’ll go to A, then we’ll bop over to Z, then we’ll come back to D. No, I mean so, but you’re a planner and I love that. You make me a better man and you make me want to know Jesus more, want to know Jesus more. You create a beautiful home where we are comfortable or things are at ease. When you enter a room, peace enters the room. So I thank God every day that he brought you into my life. 

 

0:09:58 – Kayla

No, what would you say? 

 

0:10:00 – Brian

Stop right there. Do you believe any of what I just said? 

 

0:10:03 – Kayla

Me I told you. What are the golden rules of our marriage? 

 

0:10:10 – Brian

Well. 

 

0:10:11 – Kayla

We have a few. We have a few things that these are the things that are sacred to us. 

 

0:10:15 – Brian

We strive daily to make Jesus the center of our relationship. We do devos, we usually discuss the devos with each other, and we try to live that out. When I say making Jesus the center of our relationship, what I mean by that? Well, I’ll say the first one we try to die to ourselves daily. In other words, I want to make much of you and I see you trying to make much of me. So it’s a little bit of a contest some days to see who can make the most of each other. 

 

0:10:48 – Kayla

But if you are always about what you can get out of a relationship, it’s going to be very contentious and it’s going to be a harder road because you’re going to live in a place where you’re constantly disappointed. If it’s all about taking rather than giving We’ve said this we acknowledge what makes the other person feel cherished. Early in our marriage, we had the privilege of going to a conference that was put on by Gary Smalley. 

 

0:11:19 – Brian

We had lunch with him that day we did. 

 

0:11:21 – Kayla

It was the five love languages, and we learned that your love languages are words of affirmation and physical touch, mine are acts of service and quality time, and we kind of blend on that one. The more we’ve been together, you’re more about quality time as well. 

 

0:11:42 – Brian

I like being with you. 

 

0:11:43 – Kayla

So it’s important to us that we acknowledge those in each other Y’all. If he wants to make me feel adored, take the trash out. That’s all I need, and you do it all the time, so yeah. 

 

0:11:55 – Brian

Now the difference is I think you can put more in it than she does. Let’s just say that. We’ll leave that there um okay, um, sorry, we communicate and we talk a lot, yeah, so we talk in the morning, we talk during the day, we talk at night, we talk when we go to bed. We talk about everything now I will say there are. There are no secrets no, there are no secrets here. We just try to put everything on the table. Now I’ll say this she is more of the talker than I am. 

 

0:12:28 – Kayla

I’m a verbal processor, I’m not. Yeah, and you’re very good at enduring that, because I know there are times when I don’t endure that. 

 

Well, there are times when I really need to sit with something and I need to talk it through, and you are incredibly patient with that. I can tell when there is something bothering you. Sometimes I have to give you time before I smoke it out. You need to sit with things. I can tell when it’s time to say, okay, spill it. But the thing that makes me concerned for marriages is when people say, well, we’re too busy to communicate. 

 

0:13:02 – Brian

You’re not. That’s a danger sign. 

 

0:13:04 – Kayla

That’s a danger sign. That’s a red flag. Never stop dating. 

 

0:13:11 – Brian

We just had a lunch date yeah, we just went down to a little place and had shrimp tacos. 

 

0:13:14 – Kayla

They were amazing. Yeah, they were great. You have to make time for each other. 

 

0:13:18 – Brian

And we talked there. We were talking about our next vacation, we were talking about what I did this morning and some of the plans that I’m trying to get through that kind of stuff. So we do that. Let me go back to the whole thing about communication. My brain works that like. I will think something through and then I’m done with it and I’ll put it aside. What I’ve had to learn is I need to keep some kind of a checklist in my head that when we talk, I can share all that stuff with you. 

 

0:13:48 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:13:48 – Brian

Because we process stuff differently. Like you said, you’re a verbal processor. Yeah, I’m not. 

 

0:13:55 – Kayla

You’ve already worked it out and moved on. 

 

0:13:56 – Brian

I’ve already worked it out and moved on. 

 

0:13:57 – Kayla

Yeah, but you realize I may need to know that piece of the puzzle Correct so that I have a glimpse into your life. Yes, this one is a big deal. Protect each other and what you have, and I want to explain this just a little bit. There’s several ways to do this. I am always going to be B’s biggest cheerleader. I’m going to be the one that speaks positively of him to others and I’m encouraging him and cheering him. On. Another way that this kind of falls out we practice firm boundaries with others and that looks like we do not have friendships. I don’t have friendships with guys. You don’t have friendships with females. 

 

0:14:44 – Brian

Some people say that’s old school. I just find that it protects the marriage and it protects purity. 

 

0:14:49 – Kayla

Now we will have friendships together that are other couple.

 

0:14:53 – Brian

Yeah, we’ll go out as a couple. 

 

0:14:55 – Kayla

We don’t make a habit of you texting other women. Now let me clarify this because you do have to in your work. But if it’s a side relationship and someone is texting you, I’ll actually show you the text I’m going to get copied in on the response. 

 

0:15:11 – Brian

I’ll usually loop you in on that text thread, that kind of stuff. 

 

0:15:14 – Kayla

But we’ve had situations where people have asked things as simple as could you give me a ride to the airport? 

 

0:15:20 – Brian

No, no, sorry, I can’t, I’m not doing that. No, no, Sorry, I can’t, I’m not doing that. 

 

0:15:23 – Kayla

You know, we just be careful what limits you don’t put on your relationship that leave you kind of open and exposed to any potential. So yeah, that’s us. We’re not saying these are the rules that have to work for every marriage, but this is how we have been able to thrive. 

 

0:15:46 – Brian

And that’s what I want to say. I’ve never gotten bored with you. I still find you interesting. I still find how you respond to things fascinating. 

 

0:15:56 – Kayla

You still surprise me. I’m still learning things about you. I mean, at Disney, I just learned that you’re scared of heights. I never knew that. I mean we Disney, I just learned that you’re scared of heights. I never knew that. I mean we’ve been together, for we’ve known each other for 32 years.

 

0:16:09 – Brian

I’m not necessarily scared of heights. I’m scared on a certain ride that makes you feel like you’re 80,000 feet in the air. Now, if I was sitting on the ground I’d be fine with that, but this ride it actually elevates you off the ground and it tilts you. I can’t handle that. Okay, I can’t. I can’t handle. But see, I’m fine in an airplane. For some reason my mind says my feet are on the ground, it’s on the plane, but there you go. 

 

0:16:37 – Kayla

Yeah, I’m not agreeing with you on that one. 

 

0:16:38 – Brian

I wish that they’d give us each like a little bouncy suit, like on the plane. Oh, my gosh so you’d hit and it’d blow up and it’d bounce off Well after the plane rides I’ve heard about this week we might need one. 

 

0:16:47 – Kayla

There you go. I will say this the beauty of 31-ish years, and we’ll spend a future podcast on this. 

 

0:16:54 – Brian

there is a comfortable silence at times we talked about this the other night how we seem to hit a good rhythm. 

 

0:17:02 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:17:03 – Brian

That we do the day to day. 

 

0:17:04 – Kayla

Well, we talk and and it’s not always about the big showy moment. Sometimes it’s about the simplicity of life. Yeah, so yeah, we’ll come back to that. 

 

0:17:17 – Brian

I love this little game and you always. I never get to choose, you always get to choose. 

 

0:17:23 – Kayla

So the next time we play, no, I will let you choose. 

 

0:17:26 – Brian

My feelings are choose. 

 

0:17:27 – Kayla

You always get to choose, so the next time we play, I will let you choose my feelings are hurt, you’ll recover. You have a million times. 

 

0:17:32 – Brian

The compassion is deep, all right. 

 

0:17:35 – Kayla

This or that. 

 

0:17:35 – Brian

Okay, what’s the first one, ocean or swimming pool? 

 

0:17:39 – Kayla

I am swimming pool all the way. 

 

0:17:44 – Brian

I need to be able to see what’s underneath my feet. I will. Usually I’ll do neither because I’m just not comfortable, but if we’re at the ocean I’ll swim out midway so I can pee. Wow, like I can stand up to my waist. So I mean, nobody knows it’s the ocean. Oh my gosh, them fish pee in there. 

 

0:18:00 – Kayla

Will you do that this summer, knowing that one Like straight over there was a shark attack? 

 

0:18:07 – Brian

this summer. 

 

0:18:08 – Kayla

Will you really? 

 

0:18:10 – Brian

How big’s he got to be to take a bite out of me? Look at me, we’re talking jaws Quit. 

 

0:18:18 – Kayla

So snacks, Sweet or salty. 

 

0:18:23 – Brian

I can’t do sweet so I’m going to have to go with salty. But I’ve been doing like like carrots and little cherry tomatoes and broccoli and cheese, so I don’t think that’s really salty either you oh, I’m sweet all the way brownies, cookies chocolate, all right. 

 

0:18:42 – Kayla

No, you really haven’t regained your stuff, really not every once in a while I have a taste for dark chocolate. 

 

0:18:48 – Brian

Now give this woman a good gummy bear. 

 

0:18:51 – Kayla

Oh, a really good gummy bear, and, yeah, I’m taking it down.

 

0:18:53 – Brian

Yeah, she loves a good gummy bear, introvert or extrovert. 

 

0:18:58 – Kayla

I am an introvert all the way. 

 

0:19:07 – Brian

I am what’s called an ambivert I can be around people, yeah.

 

0:19:09 – Kayla

I love being around people, but after two or three hours you need to recharge. I need to go, get in a corner somewhere, recharge, yeah, and I’ll be fine but when we are in social settings, you are energized, whereas I am just dying on the vine. I just it’s like somebody take me out. 

 

0:19:26 – Brian

Yeah who are all these people and why will they not go home? And then I’m going to be awkward. 

 

0:19:34 – Kayla

I mean just last night, no, I am Be. Just last night at Bible study I realized Kay, just listen, don’t try to say anything because you’re going to step off in it. I just do all the time. It’s who I am, you’re not awkward Spender or saver. 

 

0:19:53 – Brian

I’d say we’re both savers. We are, but if I’m going to buy something, it’s usually your toys are expensive. Yeah, like right now I’m looking at a new backpack that has that’s like you just bought one. Can I explain what I’m looking at? It’s the Star Wars Empire. 

 

0:20:14 – Kayla

Oh God help me. 

 

0:20:16 – Brian

OK. 

 

0:20:16 – Kayla

OK, ok, drive or fly. 

 

0:20:22 – Brian

Based on that reaction, you know, I guess I’m probably not coming to my house. Go ahead, We’ll pray about it. You see that guess I’m probably not coming to my house. Go ahead. 

 

0:20:31 – Kayla

We’ll pray about it. You see, that’s a no. What is it a good, What is it a good mom always says Maybe, so yeah, okay, back to the questions. Drive or fly. 

 

0:20:42 – Brian

I’ll fly In a heartbeat, in a heartbeat, if it’s seven hours or under. 

 

0:20:48 – Kayla

I’m all about driving. 

 

0:20:50 – Brian

If it was 45 minutes, I’d fly. I hate Really. I would I mean, if I could have a private helicopter. 

 

0:20:56 – Kayla

No see, that’s on those little bitty planes. What? 

 

0:20:59 – Brian

if you had a private With like a two-seater? What if you had a private helicopter? No I don’t think I’d be down in a heartbeat, summer or winter summer, all the way. I’m gonna do spring and fall, even though it’s not a choice no, I’m gonna make you choose summer or winter probably summer. I can’t endure the cold, the cold is just too much now but I do agree with you. 

 

0:21:23 – Kayla

I’m a huge fan of spring and fall, but summer I can find ways to to cool down. I just my teeth stay clenched in the winter because it’s so cold. I can morning person or night out you can’t take enough clothes off to get cool okay, I didn’t see that coming oh, do what we should definitely move on Morning person or night owl. 

 

0:21:48 – Brian

Morning. You used to be a night owl. 

 

0:21:51 – Kayla

I used to be a night owl. 

 

0:21:54 – Brian

I think since joining the gym, the gym’s kicked you high. 

 

0:21:57 – Kayla

It’s kicked my tail into being, I will say this there is something amazing about the peace of the early morning. I totally grasp. Now new morning mercies, because watching the sun come up, watching a day restart, it’s quiet, it’s peaceful, until someone starts telling Lincoln stories. You’ve gotten better. 

 

0:22:21 – Brian

If you’re new to the podcast, I love Abraham Lincoln. He’s a hero. I wrote a book Leadership Endurance. About a third of it is about Abraham Lincoln. You can find it on Amazon. 

 

0:22:31 – Kayla

And it’s a great book and you have great stories. 

 

0:22:35 – Brian

But you just don’t want to hear them at 5. 

 

0:22:36 – Kayla

I just don’t want to hear them at 5 o’clock in the morning. Why that’s a new morning mercy for you, because it’s 5 o’clock in the morning. 

 

0:22:42 – Brian

All right Cake or pie Cake all the way. 

 

0:22:46 – Kayla

I can’t do either, but if I could I’m going to choose, I would say this would be my guess, cake with a little bit of milk. 

 

0:22:55 – Brian

I’d put a piece of cake in the bowl and pour milk over it. Yep. So steak or shrimp, both you got to choose one. 

 

0:23:07 – Kayla

I’ll choose steak. I’m going to oh, really, okay. Well, it depends on who’s cooking the shrimp. 

 

0:23:16 – Brian

I don’t want to die that’s not on this piece of paper. Right here it says steak or shrimp you’re a little sassy, aren’t you? 

 

0:23:23 – Kayla

I saw that. Look, Disney or universal, there’s no contest Disney, Disney, all the way universal. We have some friends who they prefer universal studios and they’re. 

 

0:23:27 – Brian

I saw that Look Disney or Universal, there’s no contest. 

 

0:23:29 – Kayla

Disney, Disney, all the way. Universal doesn’t even we have some friends who they prefer Universal. 

 

0:23:32 – Brian

Studios and they’re wrong. Oh snap, I mean they don’t have. There’s Mickey and Minnie and Donald and Daisy. Our preference is Disney World, if you’re a Christian, you go Disney World. 

 

0:23:45 – Kayla

Okay, that escalated quickly, so there we go. That’s this edition of this, or that. Do you have some others that you would like to add? 

 

0:23:55 – Brian

So which Disney park? Epcot all the way. Hollywood Studios. Yeah so what’s that? Ice cream or yogurt? Oh, ice cream, yeah cream. Yeah that’s up the Lord. Pork chop. Or ribs, oh, pork chop Really. You’re not a rib fan are you? 

 

0:24:20 – Kayla

I’m not a huge rib fan. Again, it depends on who cooked them. 

 

0:24:24 – Brian

Here we go. It’s all these little Y’all. It’s the fine print in the contract that gets me. 

 

0:24:30 – Kayla

It has for 31 years. That’s not. 

 

0:24:33 – Brian

There’s no fine print. Hey, thanks for listening to this week’s edition of the podcast, and we’d like to send you a peas and carrots mug, a peas and carrots pen, a notepad and some Some stickers. No, what do you call them? Cute little stickers, cute little stickers. 

 

0:24:49 – Kayla

No what do you call them Cute little stickers? I’m sorry, though. The notepad is really cute too. It has little checkboxes where you can make your list, and it’s like a Post-it note. Each of the little sheets come off so they will stick to your refrigerator or wherever you need them to. Yeah, I’m in love. 

 

0:25:07 – Brian

I got tickled last week Adam Reed, who’s my executive assistant and one of my best friends in the world, because whenever y’all win something, he sends it out. He says, B, can I have some of these notepads? 

 

0:25:19 – Kayla

You’re the one that ships them. You don’t have to ask. 

 

0:25:23 – Brian

Oh, so you’ve got a thousand of them in your garage. Take as many as you want. 

 

0:25:27 – Kayla

So if you would like to have your own cute little stickers and notepad, the first couple of people or more I mean, we’ve not really held to this, honestly but the first few people that go to our website answer the question correctly and you will win all of the above. Our website is peasandcarrotspodcast.com. 

 

0:25:47 – Brian

When you get there, you can go to peasandcarrotspodcast.com. When you get there, you can go to peasandcarrotspodcast.com. When you get there, click on the trivia button and this week’s question. 

 

0:25:57 – Kayla

Are you a morning person or a night owl? All right. 

 

0:26:01 – Brian

So you’re a morning person or night owl? Go to peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Answer that question. 

 

0:26:06 – Kayla

You can search the Peas and Carrots podcast wherever you get your podcasts, or visit our website. Again, that is peasandcarrotspodcast.com. When you do, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast. 

 

0:26:17 – Brian

You can also follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Just search for the Peas and Carrots podcast. You know how the weatherman says there’s like a 60% chance of rain or a 40% chance of rain. 

 

0:26:28 – Kayla

Okay. 

 

0:26:29 – Brian

What’s the percentage chance of getting a Chick-fil-A ice cream today? 

 

0:26:33 – Kayla

Oh, probably 100. Okay, all right. There you go.

 

0:26:35 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Growing through the challenges we face and finding hope along the way. That’s the Jesus Fix It Podcast with Jess. Check out jesusfixit.com or search Jesus Fix It wherever you listen to podcasts.

 

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Season 3, Episode 17: It’s A Trap

Can We Talk?
It's A Trap - Episode Description

In the Peas and Carrots Podcast episode titled “Embracing Life’s Journey: From Cabo Fish Taco to Summer Adventures,” hosts Brian and Kayla Sanders share their experiences and insights on living a meaningful life. They discuss the importance of embracing your unique path without falling into the trap of comparing your journey to others.

From delighting in a newfound favorite restaurant to funny incidents that remind them of the aging process, they offer a heartwarming and humorous take on life’s adventures and the significance of companionship. The episode also delves into navigating life as a couple with differing habits and preferences, preparing for the summer season, and staying connected with friends.

It's A Trap - Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 

 

0:00:11 – Kayla

Welcome to the peas and carrots podcast. I’m Brian and. 

 

0:00:14 – Brian

I’m Kayla. Welcome to our piece of the vegetable patch. Mm-hmm, we haven’t had any insecticide put on a shift this season. 

 

0:00:23 – Kayla

Gee boy I’m running a little bit late this morning, y’all I just put on my headphones. 

 

0:00:30 – Brian

I’ve been at the dealership dealing with taking care of my car. 

 

0:00:35 – Kayla

I appreciate that. So the semester has officially ended. We had our last home group yesterday evening. We transitioned to our summer schedule at work today. 

 

0:00:46 – Brian

We had barbecue last night and a little veggie salad, which was wonderful. 

 

0:00:51 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:00:52 – Brian

Mozzarella and tomatoes and cucumbers. It was wonderful. 

 

0:00:55 – Kayla

Lots of laughs and fun times. 

 

0:00:57 – Brian

It was good times, little baby. 

 

0:00:59 – Kayla

Joanna was there. 

 

0:01:03 – Brian

Who makes everybody happy? 

 

0:01:05 – Kayla

Yes, she does, and I was nice last night I let I let other people snuggle her. 

 

0:01:10 – Brian

Did you get to snuggle? 

 

0:01:11 – Kayla

No, but that’s OK. 

 

0:01:14 – Brian

OK, I can deal. 

 

0:01:16 – Kayla

I will next time. 

 

0:01:17 – Brian

OK. 

 

0:01:19 – Kayla

We’ve lived here 20 years. 

 

0:01:20 – Brian

What is something new that? 

 

0:01:21 – Kayla

we did this week be for the first. I mean, it’s not a new restaurant, but where did we go this week? 

 

0:01:29 – Brian

A restaurant, yes, called Cabo Fish Taco, and I am in love with this place. 

 

0:01:36 – Kayla

Now confess what’s been your thoughts about it for 20 years, until. 

 

0:01:41 – Brian

Who would eat a fish taco? You loved it. Oh, they did this thing called a Baja Bowl. It had grilled shrimp, rice, black beans and some veggies. 

 

0:01:53 – Kayla

But the ambiance of the restaurant reminded us of where. 

 

0:01:57 – Brian

New. 

 

0:01:57 – Kayla

Orleans yeah. 

 

0:01:58 – Brian

It was great. 

 

0:01:59 – Kayla

So we’ll be going back. 

 

0:02:01 – Brian

It even smelled like New Orleans a little bit it did yeah. Not that that’s an endearing smell, but it smelled like New Orleans a little bit, so I enjoyed it was great we got to visit with some of our dearest friends, yep, so mine and mike’s reason for existence is to put you and Wanda together. That’s the reason why we my bestie, so yeah, we went to a. We went to Harrisonburg. There’s a great pizza place there in downtown. I can’t remember the name Bella Luna. Bella Luna, yeah. 

 

0:02:30 – Kayla

If you are ever there, it’s what do they call it? Wood-fired pizza. It’s wonderful. 

 

0:02:37 – Brian

And I can get one that’s allergen-free and it’s great. 

 

0:02:40 – Kayla

But we had a great day with them and got to catch up after fundraising season, so yeah, I think we were the loudest people in Barnes and Noble, I think we were, but that’s okay. We sat in the cafe. Sorry, not sorry. So yeah, it was fun. 

 

0:02:53 – Brian

So we were at a restaurant last weekend. 

 

0:02:57 – Kayla

Not Cabo, and we won’t say where. 

 

0:03:00 – Brian

Okay, and we’d finished our meal. Waitress comes up to bring us the ticket. She slicked at both of us and said do y’all have an AARP discount? 

 

0:03:29 – Kayla

And your reaction. You didn’t say anything to her, but your eyes got as big as saucers and your jaw hit the table a little bit. She could not see my face, but yes, I’m still recovering. But yeah, I mean you don’t look a day over 29, but it’s oh come on, but it’s my beard, it’s my goatee, that and my gray hair and yeah, but anyway, beautiful, I’m healing from that. It’s my goatee and my gray hair. Yeah, but anyway, beautiful, I’m healing from that. 

 

0:03:49 – Brian

But I got to be honest. It’s the first time ever we’ve been asked. 

 

0:03:54 – Kayla

And I hope it’s the last time ever. It’s the first time we’ve ever been asked. 

 

0:03:58 – Brian

Do y’all have an AARP discount? I have to say so. Here’s where we are. 

 

0:04:05 – Kayla

So I was visiting with a friend the other day and she made a comment about the stage of life that she’s in and how hard it is not to compare herself to others in the same stage and feeling like maybe she’s not getting it right or she’s coming up short, and it led me to think about an ongoing topic that we all have with ourselves, which is the trap of comparison. 

 

0:04:35 – Brian

I do this all. 

 

0:04:36 – Kayla

We all do it, and so here’s a few gentle reminders for all of us, our first one being this their journey is not your journey. At our gym, each of us has our own fitness plan and it’s catered to what our goals are and what our needs are and, honestly, what my capabilities are. But it’s easy for me to fall prey to feeling inferior to others in that gym who are doing things that would probably break bones in my body. But I have to remind myself you have goals. You have a plan crafted by your trainer, which is what’s safe for you, it’s what’s good for you, and just chase hard after that. Don’t get distracted by what other people are able to accomplish or not accomplish. 

 

0:05:26 – Brian

When we joined the gym, I started following our gym on Instagram. It’s called Trouble Wellness, and as soon as I started following them, Instagram starts recommending training videos, and there’s these people on there who have six-pack abs. Well, I don’t even have a one pack ab I mean, I haven’t seen my ab since probably month three of my birth. 

 

Okay, so it just I’m being serious, so I can’t even feel them. But here’s the thing, like those videos, like whenever they come up, first some of them made me uncomfortable, so I’m like you know, I don’t want to see this. So they’re little x. And then, over time, I’m like I have to check myself because I can’t compare myself to this you’re not meant to. 

 

0:06:16 – Kayla

Yeah, you know, but it is. I mean we all do it follow. 

 

0:06:19 – Brian

You know I need to watch videos of people my age, my size trying to work out and die. That that’s what I need. 

 

0:06:25 – Kayla

Just today I was rowing and a guy came and sat down next to me and was rowing and I realized do not try to keep his pace. He’s like six foot five and he’s a dude. 

 

0:06:39 – Brian

So I had to tell myself your pace is what you’re meant to do, so yeah, Also, early in our marriage, we made a big decision and a series of decisions, and one of those is this we’re not going to keep up with others. Nope, we’re going to do life our way, yep, on our pace, yep, and just do things like that. Because I would love to collect antique books. I would love to do that, but in the back of my mind there’s a voice that says stuff is fleeting. Now there are some antique books that, like, people have given me that I keep. Well, sure, but stuff is fleeting and I’m not going to pour money, a lot of money, into stuff. That is like fleeting. 

 

0:07:27 – Kayla

We like making memories. 

 

0:07:29 – Brian

So there’s. I think this is a quote from Dave Ramsey. He says live today like no one else. So you can one day live like no one else. 

 

0:07:39 – Kayla

Yeah. And I think now we would like to retire one day. We love our ministry, we love what we do, but we don’t want to work full time until the day we drop, God willing. Our goals are to have enough to just live comfortably when that time comes, not to spend every dime that comes in every month. Another goal of ours was to make sure that we capture experiences, not things. Now, don’t get me wrong. We have nice things in our home. We’re not, you know, living with one set of clothes, and you know one book. 

 

But at the same time we don’t feel the need to. Oh well, this person went here on vacation, so now we have to. Yeah, that doesn’t or they have this kind of house, so now we have to have one. 

 

Or oh, they’re driving this kind of car. So now we have to. We have never. I mean, it’s just not who we are, and I’m good with that. I’m very comfortable with what B and K want out of life, and it’s worthy to sit down with your partner and say what are our goals, what are our dreams, and then let that drive you, not the latest version of whatever. But Ask yourself what season are we in? I’m just going to be really honest. 

 

0:08:59 – Brian

Well, spring has just sprung by us, because right now it’s hot. 

 

0:09:03 – Kayla

We went straight to summer but, I’m referring to a different kind of season. Okay, so right now our home is less than spotless. Our home is great we’re going to talk about that in a little while. Our garden’s kind of disheveled I plan to work on that this weekend, and we have literally not had a meal plan for eight weeks. No joke, give yourself grace for whatever outside factors you are navigating that have you in the season of life that you’re in. Maybe your home isn’t meant to be your priority party. We were working literally 60-hour weeks for six weeks and it was everything we could do to go from start to finish, go home literally wash, rinse, repeat ourselves and the day and today we’re feeling I’m just I mean yeah, we’re, we’re pretty tired but, but in that six the house is still standing. 

 

And it looks great the garden will get done at some point. 

 

0:10:02 – Brian

It’s all going to be fine. 

 

0:10:03 – Kayla

But don’t look around at other people’s day to day and feel like you’ve got to keep up with that. 

 

0:10:11 – Brian

Well, I’m going to say to this is there are times when you just simply have to focus on the task at hand, yeah, and everything else kind of falls to the side, and then, when you complete that task, everything else can come back into view. So I think that’s a healthy perspective. 

 

0:10:28 – Kayla

Yeah, it’s called finding balance where you can, and sometimes that’s what it looks like. A couple of quick hit reminders. You were chosen to do that job. You’re not chosen to do what they’re doing. God called you to the specific job he’s gifted you. You were given that child, or those children. 

 

0:10:48 – Brian

Let’s not waste the energy. They’re your children too. 

 

0:10:51 – Kayla

Let me just go ahead and say, oh my gosh, I probably shouldn’t have said that. Well, that was a little honest, but you didn’t mention names, so I think we’re good, let’s leave it there. Okay, it’s easy to look at how someone else is raising their children, or the work that you feel someone else is doing that’s more impactful, or that maybe their kids just seem more well-rounded, or it could go on and on and on. Or they seem to have their life together and their kid’s on a schedule and yours isn’t, or it doesn’t matter. That’s not what God’s blessed you with. May we never forget what he’s doing in our lives, rather than setting our sights on someone else’s. 

 

0:11:36 – Brian

You need to remember and this is something that I struggle with, but I have some stuff in my iPhone notes that remind me of this is that you are made uniquely in the image of Christ yeah, he didn’t make a carbon copy, and so lean into that, lean into the fact that he chose you before the foundation of the world yeah, lean into the fact that you have value yes, that because you are made in his image. And lean into your talents and abilities and what brings joy, and if you do that, that will lead to some contentment and peace. Yeah, don’t try and find that outside of his purpose for you, outside of his why he’s made you. 

 

0:12:16 – Kayla

Yeah, I have found for myself the more that I lean into who I was created to be in Christ, the less anxiety I have, the more my nervous system settles. The more we are chasing after things that God did not intend for us, the more unsettled we’re going to be, because until we feel right in him, all of those things are just going to wear us out. You were given this one life. Don’t waste it trying to live someone else’s life. 

 

0:12:52 – Brian

But we get so unsatisfied with where we are. 

 

0:12:57 – Kayla

And what is it that Barnabas piper taught us? We are unsatisfied unsatisfiable people. 

 

0:13:01 – Brian

yeah, we are unsatisfiable people. We’re also part of a world economy that generates sales and income. Oh, absolutely, making you unsatisfied with what you have, yep, so that you’ll buy something else? Yeah, I’ll never forget. We spent Christmas with some family one year and they had little ones, and Christmas morning it was a joy. They were just all into it, just all. Well, the next day, December 26th, we all went to the stores and those kids, they just screamed and begged for toys and I’ll never forget that. Their dad said you just got all new toys yesterday and that little one said that was yesterday. I’ve never forgotten that and that’s an indictment of all of our hearts. So, be who you were made to be and lean into who he created you to be. Well, this is going to be fun, as I studied for this. This is him versus her. Can I ask a question? Why did you put him versus her instead of her versus him? 

 

0:14:14 – Kayla

Well, I don’t know. 

 

0:14:15 – Brian

Okay, it just kind of sets me up as being the one against you. 

 

0:14:19 – Kayla

Oh, we’re not against each other, yet, you’ll see. Yet this could end differently. 

 

0:14:24 – Brian

World War III about to happen, all right. 

 

0:14:36 – Kayla

One of yet. This could end differently. 

 

0:14:37 – Brian

World war three about to happen all right, one of us likes details oh my word and one of us drowns in them, maybe? No, I think we have figured out the non-detail person. Yes, I fly at a 30,000-foot view. You fly at a hundred-foot view. 

 

0:14:45 – Kayla

Now that comp and that’s how we complement each other yes, I literally read emails and give you the highlights. 

 

0:14:51 – Brian

Oh, if your email is more than five sentences, Brian Sanders is not going to read it. Truth. Okay, you need to encapsulate that. You send me something for paragraph song. 

 

0:15:01 – Kayla

It’s delete he’s read the first sentence in the last. I hope you got your points across. 

 

0:15:05 – Brian

Yes, but details you are great with like money. You’re great with like budgeting and that kind of stuff and you’ve begged me not to hand that off to you. I mean, that’s yours Now you’ll want to sit down and go over everything. 

 

0:15:20 – Kayla

It’s one of my Christmas gifts Once a year you have to. Let me walk through the annual budget with you. 

 

0:15:24 – Brian

It’s one of my Christmas gifts. 

 

0:15:26 – Kayla

It is have to let me walk through the annual budget with you. It’s one of my Christmas. It is about 10 years ago remember we made this pact that you have to let me walk through the annual plan, because I want to make sure that it’s yours, not just mine okay me, I take a power nap oh, I nap. Like it’s hibernation season. 

 

You go down for like two hours I can’t do these little 10-minute naps. I get the worst headache. Yeah, I just can’t. But you can. You’re like a toddler. You can lay down for 10 minutes and then, boing, you are off and running again. 

 

0:15:58 – Brian

It just amazes me At the same time. Now, if I’m serious about a nap, Now you will go down. But yeah, go down for like five hours but it’s very rare, very rare, yeah. 

 

0:16:09 – Kayla

One of us starts packing two weeks before a trip. Oh, God. There’s piles and one of us packs the night before or the morning of. 

 

0:16:17 – Brian

We’re going to Disney in two weeks. There is a section of stuff already on the dining room table and there’s a section of stuff in one of the guest bedrooms. 

 

0:16:33 – Kayla

Uh-huh already on the dining room table and there’s some section of stuff in one of the guest bedrooms and there’s some section of stuff already on the dresser and the main bedroom maybe we won’t forget anything though well, I don’t understand of what I packed anyway oh, did anybody else feel that comment? 

 

0:16:41 – Brian

or just me in my head why not just create a list and then, the night before, do all I’m working the list two weeks before. 

 

0:16:51 – Kayla

Well, some of it’s stuff that I needed to pick up at the store. So anyway, you do. You, I’m good shots fired. He never meets a stranger. Nope, I often wonder are people just getting stranger? 

 

0:17:08 – Brian

Well, I find people to be an adventure. I find people to be a story that is waiting to be told. Ok, so I love to talk with people because you’ll learn details and it can be a great story, because I’m all about a great story and some people’s story scares me a little bit. You like to enter into a store, to a restaurant, and just uh-huh, be quiet, be all by yourself and you’ve introduced yourself to half the wait staff. 

 

0:17:39 – Kayla

So, yeah, this is who we are. It’s good. You will have a new friend every time we leave target. 

 

0:17:45 – Brian

So yeah, well, I just here, we are. Okay, here we are. I can literally not be thinking about anything. I can literally not be thinking about something and I’m thinking about what I’ve forgotten to think about whereas your mind, and that has always plagued you, that you don’t understand, like Bea, what are you thinking about and what will I say? 

 

0:18:09 – Kayla

Nothing, and you’ve never, and you mean it, nothing. 

 

0:18:15 – Brian

And. 

 

0:18:15 – Kayla

I’m worried about what I’ve forgotten to think about. 

 

0:18:18 – Brian

You’ve often said there’s like 19 things. 

 

0:18:20 – Kayla

Oh, I’m always just. It’s like a computer browser with multiple files open at all times. 

 

0:18:26 – Brian

And I understand that this could be one of the differences between men and women. 

 

0:18:29 – Kayla

Absolutely Yep. So all right, we talked about this a minute ago. You are completely unfazed by the state of our home. Okay, which right now? 

 

0:18:42 – Brian

Okay, we need to clarify this. When she says the state of our home home, she’s going to make it sound like that there’s a pack of monkeys that live there that don’t know how to use the bathroom. It is y’all the state of our home. Okay, it may not be dusted for five days, I don’t care it doesn’t.

 

0:19:07 – Kayla

Well, right now there’s piles of stuff everywhere, but it’s purposeful. But there’s dust, there’s who. I am phased by how unfazed you are. So, yeah, say that again. I am what. I am phased by how unfazed you are. It doesn’t bother me, but I should be thankful. Phased by how unfazed you are, but I should be thankful. I mean, there are probably some partnerships where it’s like you need to get this done, and I’ve had friends before whose spouses are very specific. 

 

0:19:35 – Brian

You will actually come to me and say B, I apologize for the state of this. Yeah, why are you? I’m happy as a clam. 

 

0:19:43 – Kayla

I just feel guilty, but yeah, okay, I’m working on it. So, to make sure this does not seem adversarial, this is us. We are planners. 

 

0:19:54 – Brian

Oh, we ain’t going nowhere. Where are we? 

 

0:19:55 – Kayla

going? Will there be food, will we get a nap and what will we do? 

 

0:19:59 – Brian

Where are we going to fill up at? Who are we meeting with? Where are we going? Yeah, I need to research the restaurants where we’re going to. 

 

0:20:06 – Kayla

We are both that way, and it’s what makes traveling together so amazing, because we both have the same questions and the same thought processes. 

 

0:20:16 – Brian

And if we’re going through a new airport, I will look it up.

 

0:20:18 – Kayla

Yeah, we’ll watch a video about it we will? 

 

0:20:21 – Brian

Yeah, well, certainly, I mean, that’s just who we are. 

 

0:20:31 – Kayla

Also, there is nobody else we’d rather spend the day with. We have often been teased for this. Like yeah, like, why do y’all spend so much time together? Because we actually like each other we like to talk. 

 

0:20:41 – Brian

Sometimes we’ll talk about you. 

 

0:20:48 – Kayla

This is one thing that I have really come to adopt, though. Our relationship isn’t their relationship, and it does not mean that either of us is wrong. 

 

0:20:59 – Brian

No, I guess not. 

 

0:21:00 – Kayla

We don’t get to decide what is best for any other couple or any other family, and that’s where back to our conversation about comparison. The only time that anyone should be concerned about what’s going on in another relationship is if you sense that there is some kind of abuse or domination or something that lends to yeah, otherwise it is really none of your business how they choose to if you see them buying fish sticks at the grocery store, that’s none of your business. 

 

But if they’re buying fish sticks for somebody they’re not married to, that’s your business oh well, I wasn’t sure where you were going with that, but okay, and fish sticks really well, I’m just saying For the record, we do not eat those. But anyway, here we are. I’m open to them. No, we’re good. So this is us, okay, and it’s a combination of things that complement each other and things that draw us together. 

 

0:22:03 – Brian

Hey, thanks for listening to this week’s edition of the piece. 

 

0:22:05 – Kayla

If you need me, I’m going to be off packing for our trip. 

 

0:22:08 – Brian

Y’all, you’ve been packing for three weeks. I won’t forget anything. Anyway, thanks for listening to this week’s edition of the Peas and Carrots Podcast, and we’d like to send you a coffee mug and a pack of the cute little stickers, okay, and you can win a Peas and Carrots coffee mug and a pack of the cute little stickers. Okay, and you can win a peas and carrots coffee mug and a pack of stickers. 

 

0:22:31 – Kayla

Go to our website, which is peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Look for the trivia button. 

 

0:22:37 – Brian

If you’ll click that trivia button at peasandcarrotspodcast.com, Our question this week is what are you excited about as we head into summer? 

 

0:22:46 – Kayla

Yeah, we want to know what your plans are. What are you excited about, as we? 

 

0:22:47 – Brian

head into summer. Yeah, we want to know what your plans are. What are you doing? What are you excited about as we head into summer? And you can answer that question when a coffee mug and a pack of stickers All you do is. 

 

0:22:56 – Kayla

Go to our website peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Also search Peas and Carrots Podcast. Wherever you get your podcasts or visit our website. 

 

0:23:05 – Brian

Peasandcarrotspodcast.com. 

 

0:23:06 – Kayla

When you do, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast. 

 

0:23:10 – Brian

You can also search Peas and Carrots wherever you get your podcast, and you can also follow us on Facebook and Instagram, all right.

 

0:23:23 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Life’s not perfect. That’s why God gave us friends like Melody and Candi. Check out QuirksBumpsandBruises.com, or search Quirks, Bumps, and Bruises wherever you listen to podcasts. 

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