Season 3, Episode 26: When Silence Is Deafening

Can We Talk?
When Silence is Deafening - Episode Description

Join us for a whirlwind week as we share the highs and lows of returning home from an uplifting summer camp with our PAR family. From the unexpected demise of our AC unit and a stuck doorbell causing an electrical scare to a malfunctioning water heater and an ant invasion in our kitchen, it seemed like everything that could go wrong did. Despite the chaos, we reflect on the incredible experience of summer camp and the importance of community and support during trying times.

Then we explore the struggle of feeling, or not, God’s presence. We discuss the importance of reading scripture, praying, and recognizing daily mercies as evidence of God’s ongoing work, even when His presence isn’t felt. Reflecting on past experiences where God has been present fuels our current faith, even during difficult and confusing times, and we highlight the significance of accepting God’s sovereignty and trusting His decisions.

Lastly, we take you through our fun and eventful camp experience, starting with a barbecue by the lake, an engaging scavenger hunt, and a humorous noise complaint incident during our ladies’ pajama party.

When Silence is Deafening - Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 

 

0:00:11 – Kayla

Welcome to the peas and carrots podcast. 

 

0:00:13 – Brian

I’m Brian, I’m Kayla. Welcome to this week’s edition, mercy where do we begin? Y’all, it has been a week. It has. It has been a week If you’ve ever seen a meme of this gopher that just sits on a fence and screams. 

 

0:00:30 – Kayla

That’s what we feel like doing. 

 

0:00:31 – Brian

That’s exactly where we’ve been. 

 

0:00:33 – Kayla

But let’s start here so we’ll start with the reason that we kind of went AWOL. Last week Our PAR family came together for summer camp. Our PAR family came together for summer camp and what this is is it’s an opportunity to come together to do some mid-year training and culture building. We’ll share some stories about that in a few minutes, but the entire PAR team traveled to Tennessee Our WCQR team, who is in Johnson City, Tennessee. 

 

They hosted it, hosted us, planned it, planned it, hosted it Knocked it, hosted it, knocked it out of the park. Incredible, it was amazing. So that’s where we were last week. And then we came home on Thursday evening and what did we discover? 

 

0:01:16 – Brian

That our AC unit had died. 

 

0:01:18 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:01:19 – Brian

So we called the company that we normally work with. They come out Friday and they tell us it’s not an easy fix. The whole system has to be replaced. Yeah, when it went south is when we asked well, could you? When? And they said August 14th, which would be like three or four weeks of us living in a house with no air conditioning. 

 

0:01:41 – Kayla

And 90 degrees outside Now listen. 

 

0:01:43 – Brian

I understand that for some of y’all that’s not a big deal, but yet for Fat Boy here that’s a big deal. I’m just saying. 

 

0:01:49 – Kayla

It was a big deal for me too. We ended up, long story short, we ended up doing five nights with no air conditioning. God smiled on us even in the fact that the temperatures were weirdly low for July. We had some stormy evenings and then it went down to the 60s, but y’all our house got up to 81 degrees. 

 

0:02:12 – Brian

And yeah, and let me just say this I want to thank James Kramer with Radford Mechanical. We’ve known him and his family for. 

 

0:02:21 – Kayla

He fit us in during a very busy season for himself, spent an entire day and a morning to assure that we would have air conditioning before next week goes back to the 90s. 

 

0:02:35 – Brian

So, thank you, he fit us in. We would highly recommend him. I highly recommend him. 

 

0:02:41 – Kayla

And we are not getting any kind of discount for that. 

 

0:02:44 – Brian

So I just need to say that there is no, we did not of discount for that. So I just need to say that there is no. 

 

0:02:46 – Kayla

We did not get prompted to say that. 

 

0:02:48 – Brian

We wanted to say that when the original company came out to investigate what was going on, they rang the front doorbell and that doorbell is 20 years old. 

 

0:02:57 – Kayla

That doorbell got stuck, uh-huh well, he said there was a short in the wire between the doorbell and when you walk upstairs, you, when you walk upstairs, you could hear it. 

 

0:03:07 – Brian

And then you started smelling electrical burning, went back downstairs and we unstuck the doorbell, got it stopped and whatever. That electrical burning stopped and so we had to call another company to come out Replace our unit and replace the doorbell. And one of us was always home I think that happened on a Friday, so one of us was always home on Friday, Saturday, Sunday, because we didn’t want somebody coming up ringing the doorbell and having a fire, having a fire, yeah, and so that got changed out Monday morning. So there’s that. That got fixed, that’s done. And our water heater didn’t give us hot water, but that was a simple fix. 

 

0:03:44 – Kayla

we got that done but we thought we were looking at a new water heater. And then the thing that broke me all of that ac unit, okay, that stinks, but roll on um water heater, man, that’s a cold bath. Roll on doorbell. Thank god the house didn’t burn down while we were gone. Ant-palooza. We wake up yesterday morning and it’s as if ants have stormed the gates. The kitchen is covered in ants. 

 

0:04:14 – Brian

And I just need to say this is that my wife keeps a very clean house. 

 

0:04:17 – Kayla

Okay, they apparently came in with the change in weather. I read and learned that ants will they like air conditioning too? Well. 

 

0:04:29 – Brian

Can you blame them? 

 

0:04:30 – Kayla

It went from being very, very hot to very, very wet. We started getting rain every day, and so I read that they were trying to find somewhere outside of the rain and they were getting in and they found your kitchen. And I just I looked at you and I said I’m done, I just I can’t handle it anymore. But you went and bought this stuff called stem there was this stuff at Target and, knock on wood, we’ve not had any ants today. They were all gone as of this morning. 

 

0:05:00 – Brian

And then I bought some stuff for outside. You sprayed outside. 

 

0:05:04 – Kayla

So it has been a first world problem kind of week. Let us say that Even in the midst of all of it, we are both okay. Our home is nice and cool. There were no health effects of being in a very hot house, which I was worried about for you, so I was not sleeping at night because I was afraid you were going to have a sugar crash or something. I had Hampton Inn in the back of my mind that you know. We had a place we could go if we had to. It was just a lot in a very short amount of time and the reality is we can see how the things that took place at summer camp the worship, the community, the culture that was built, the love that was poured out between team members the enemy didn’t like that and he came out and he came out, and it wasn’t just us. 

 

A lot of our team members are walking through some hardcore stuff coming out of camp, so we would welcome your prayers. We are fine. Our house no longer smells like it’s burning and it’s cool. 

 

0:06:12 – Brian

And the team will be fine. 

 

0:06:13 – Kayla

They will be. It’s just a lot. So we will share some fun stories about camp in just a few minutes. 

 

0:06:23 – Brian

Silence. I do not enjoy silence and if we’re having a conversation with somebody and there’s like that awkward silence, I can’t. That’s a recipe that like we’re not going to be friends. I don’t sit here and just look at somebody for 10 minutes. Somebody needs to talk, but what happens? How do you deal with, how do you move forward when you feel that God is silent or you can’t feel him? 

 

0:06:55 – Kayla

And this is very honest and kind of scary to admit because, first of all, what I do in my work, I’m there and I admitted that to you the other night I feel and there’s a key word in there I feel God is silent and I’m really struggling with not feeling his voice or his presence in my life. 

 

0:07:21 – Brian

There’s some Kleenex. 

 

0:07:22 – Kayla

So we’ve talked about this. No, I’m hoping not to cry. 

 

0:07:25 – Brian

Well, you’ve already started. I can see life. 

 

0:07:26 – Kayla

So we’ve talked about this. No, I’m hoping not to cry, but I am stuck in a place of believing that God is for everyone else and this is not a therapy session. 

 

0:07:39 – Brian

So don’t charge each of you $125. 

 

0:07:42 – Kayla

You’re not going to get a bill. 

 

0:07:44 – Brian

Oh, I’d like to, I mean help out the ministry. 

 

0:07:48 – Kayla

What did you remind me? So, for those who perhaps have either been there yourself or you are there, that you also are struggling with feeling that God is just not active, you’re not seeing or believing or feeling his strength in your life, what are some key things that you’ve reminded me this week, and I’m clinging to them, but I’m still struggling. 

 

0:08:13 – Brian

First thing I would say is listen. Now, this is for me because I’m a fixer. I mean, as soon as you start talking to me, I had six or seven solutions in my head and I started talking and the first thing would be would you just listen? 

 

0:08:28 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:08:29 – Brian

Okay. So whoever’s going through this, talk to somebody, but make sure that they’re a listener. So here’s some things that I tried to nudge you on. First of all, RC Sproul said this who God is doesn’t depend on how I feel about him. 

 

0:08:48 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:08:49 – Brian

He’s still God. That should give me hope and confidence, because my feelings can be all over the map. Let me give you an example. You ever read the Psalms? Yeah, in this first Psalm, David’s like oh, you’re the greatest God, oh, you’re great, I’m worshiping you. In the next Psalm, he’s in the pit. Yeah, somebody just throw dirt on me and bury me because God hates me. So my first encouragement to you was read the Psalms, because it will tell you that you’re not the only human who has ever dealt with this. 

 

0:09:22 – Kayla

Which lends to keep praying, keep reading His Word and something that you have said to me many times remember in the dark what you learned in the light, and that’s tough when you are in a season that, if you’ve never been here, I actually do pray, that you never have to. It is a terrible feeling that God is just void and I’m reminding myself every single day of his word. I’m reminding myself of how he has shown up in the past, of the things you encouraged me and I do. I journal every day, but you have reminded me to specifically journal. What are the things that today prove to me? 

 

the tiny mercies that, and I think we all kind of get on autopilot. We’re living our life. Maybe we take a little too much credit for it. Maybe we believe that we can somehow earn it. 

 

You wake up in the morning, or if I’m good enough if I do, enough if I, and none of that changes. And maybe that’s some of the things he’s trying to remind me. But I keep picking up my Bible and I keep talking to him. Sometimes it feels like it’s bouncing off the ceiling, but I can’t just stop doing that, as hard as the outcome may feel. 

 

0:11:05 – Brian

The Puritans actually taught that God will sometimes remove his ability for you to actually feel him, and so that, as a result, you become more dependent on him. So that’s what they taught, and it comes from the Psalms, actually, that you see that. And so here’s what’s amazing is that you want to sense his presence, you want to feel again that he cares, and so what are you doing? You’re reading his word, you’re praying, and so I guess, in a sense and this is where you get into like, in other words, why is God doing this? I don’t know the answer to that. 

 

0:11:38 – Kayla

And I don’t either, but not yet, but yet. 

 

0:11:41 – Brian

I can say this I see you pursuing him, I see you reading, I see you praying, so I can see evidence of what he’s doing. I don’t know his actual motive. 

 

0:11:56 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:11:57 – Brian

But let me say this his love for you hasn’t changed. His grace and mercy is still there and I encourage you and everybody else who’s going through this I do this all the time because I have more doubt than like I do. Faith Write down every day tiny mercies like I woke up, I have health, I have a job, I have the most amazing wife in the world. I mean I could just keep going with all this. Our home, I’m saved, I’m not going to hell, I will never have to face the wrath of God. You just keep going and you’re going to realize he is there, but I may not be able to necessarily feel him. 

 

0:12:41 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

So, another thing that you reminded me and again, obviously you are my safe space is we don’t live in a vacuum. We aren’t meant to carry things solely on our own, and you could tell that I was really in a hard struggle and I shared my doubts with you because you are a trusted confidant. Find someone in your life that you can just lay your soul bare, because you can’t always pick yourself back up and you’re being very patient. I can tell you just want to fix this, you want it to just be a thing in the past and I know in time that it will work out. I’m believing for that. But also keep leaning in to someone else. Don’t try to handle all of it by yourself, because that’s just going to lend to more feeling oriented thinking, and that’s another thing that you keep reminding me. Don’t trust your feelings. 

 

0:13:55 – Brian

I think that there’s a lesson here is that when you are struggling, don’t be Job’s friends. Don’t show up and tell that person well, here’s what God’s doing. You just need to sit in the dirt with the person and let them cry and let them get to about Job 41 or like Job 42. And that’s where God shows up and says all right, you ready to talk, put your big boy pants on. And that’s literally what shows up and says all right, you’re ready to talk, but you’re big boy pants on. And that’s literally what God says to Job. And so my job is to sit in the dirt with you, walk with you every day, listen, pray for you and just keep looking forward. I will say this as the last thing for you and anybody else who’s walking through this Look in the rearview mirror, because what he’s done in the past can be fuel for your faith in the present. 

 

0:14:50 – Kayla

Hmm. 

 

0:14:52 – Brian

Think about this Moses and the Israelites are at the Red Sea. They can’t go forward because you have an Egyptian army who’s coming up behind them and they can’t go backwards. I would have been flipping out, I would have just been losing my mind. But there’s one thing they had just come from Egypt, where they saw plagues and miracles and where God had delivered them. So by looking at the past, they had fuel for faith there in the present, and that’s I’m just saying. I mean that this isn’t easy. 

 

0:15:27 – Kayla

And another truth that’s hard to swallow is don’t look at what he hasn’t done. That’s hard to sit here and confess my disappointment, my frustration, my, but God, I did this, and do you care? Or my, but I have been faithful in this, and do you care? It takes nothing away from who he is, and that’s a head knowledge that I’ve grasped. It’s something that my heart is still wrestling with is but why haven’t you done X, Y, Z? And he may never do that, because that’s not who he is, never do that because that’s not who he is.

 

0:16:16 – Brian

I’ll just sprinkle in a little scripture. It says that he shows mercy on whom he shows mercy and he doesn’t on whom he doesn’t. And that’s his prerogative to be God. We want to actually control him when he’s the one who’s actually sovereign. So, baby, I just want to tell you this I love you, I’ll walk with you every step of the way, and I love seeing God at work in your heart, even though I know it’s painful. 

 

0:16:40 – Kayla

Right back at you. Okay, so before we all need to like go drown our sorrows, let’s go back to camp. That was. Thank you all for listening to that. I know that was a lot of a lot. 

 

0:16:56 – Brian

No, it wasn’t, it was beautiful. 

 

0:16:57 – Kayla

Camp was fun. 

 

0:17:00 – Brian

The entire team comes together under one roof twice a year. 

 

0:17:04 – Kayla

It’s for like a day and a half. 

 

0:17:06 – Brian

This camp and then at the first of the year we do what’s called Vision Week. So this was camp and people arrive Tuesday evening for dinner and a barbecue out at a lake and then we leave Thursday around noon. 

 

0:17:19 – Kayla

Noon yeah. 

 

0:17:21 – Brian

And we stayed at a beautiful place down in Johnson City. 

 

0:17:24 – Kayla

Oh, my word, If you are ever there, there is a hotel. Now, listen, I’m going to go ahead and tell you we got a discount because we had such a large group and we have a Ronda Lacey. We stayed at the Carnegie Hotel. In Johnson City, Tennessee, which every single one of us, our jaws dropped when we walked in it was gorgeous Y’all. I had a clawfoot tub. Why is that a big deal? Because I’m a girl and I like baths. 

 

0:17:51 – Brian

Okay, but anyway, Tuesday evening, If I got in that thing, you have to put butter on the side. It but anyway, Tuesday evening, if I got in that thing, you have to put butter on the side. Just get me out of it. 

 

0:17:58 – Kayla

Go ahead. You made a new friend. We had our kickoff with a barbecue and a concert led by Ben Fuller. 

 

0:18:07 – Brian

He’s a CCM artist and he’s had who I Am was number one song and I mean he’s got other great songs out. But I learned we’re sitting there chatting and he loves Abraham Lincoln and I said shut up. He pulls out his phone and starts showing me all this. He’s got pictures of Lincoln. He’s got memorabilia. Well, we sat there and chatted. I bet you 45. We exchanged phone numbers. We text every single day about Lincoln. 

 

0:18:37 – Kayla

Thank you, Jesus if you have the opportunity to say thank you Jesus, because you’re you’re able to talk Lincoln with someone else and it’s wonderful now. 

 

0:18:48 – Brian

Now you’re about to have this, now you’re about to hit Kayla’s passion point, because we went to a restaurant called Cootie Brown’s. And what was dessert? Let’s just go ahead and skip. 

 

0:18:58 – Kayla

Y’all do not skip the key lime pie If you are in Johnson City and you go to Cootie Brown’s, which it is a legit restaurant. Everything is made on site, it’s fresh, it’s incredible. 

 

0:19:11 – Brian

I could not have the key lime pie. 

 

0:19:13 – Kayla

He could not have it, but I cheated on my diet. 

 

0:19:15 – Brian

But it was the size of your head. 

 

0:19:17 – Kayla

It was massive, I couldn’t finish it. 

 

0:19:19 – Brian

I could only eat half of it. On a scale of one to ten. How good was it?

 

0:19:22 – Kayla

A twelve. Wow. It had a layer of very tart key lime and then it had a layer that was more mousse-like, smooth and creamy. 

 

0:19:30 – Brian

Hairy mousse. 

 

0:19:32 – Kayla

Oh yuck. 

 

0:19:33 – Brian

Did it have horns? Oh, you meant moose is in like a little ice, yeah not that, oh, okay. 

 

0:19:38 – Kayla

So Okay, we had a game night, oh, and a PJ. Hang on, I’m confessing, the guys had a game night, the girls had a PJ party. It was not the guys that got a noise complaint. 

 

0:19:54 – Brian

Yeah, so the phone rings. This is Jordan, from the front desk. 

 

0:19:58 – Kayla

We’ve had a complaint about your room and all the noise coming from it, so yeah, he did tell us, though, that quiet hours did not begin until 11, and it was only 930. So if we were planning to go past 11, we were going to need to move, and I said, oh, we’ll be done by then. And we were going to need to move and I said, oh, we’ll be done by then. In case you think that all we did was goof off, we spent an entire morning with Dr Natalie Pickering, wasn’t it? 

 

0:20:26 – Brian

Lauren Pickering. 

 

0:20:28 – Kayla

Oh, I thought her name was Natalie. 

 

0:20:30 – Brian

Her name is Dr Pickering. There we go, okay. Pickering. There we go, okay. And she taught us all about the Enneagram and what it reveals about us and how it helps us work together as a team, and different personalities, and what we like and don’t like and how to approach people. 

 

0:20:45 – Kayla

It was quite eye-opening to learn how we all mesh. 

 

0:20:49 – Brian

Yes. 

 

0:20:50 – Kayla

And I know that the Enneagram is controversial with some people. Enneagram is controversial with some people, but using it as a tool to be able to communicate and to be able to respect each other’s boundaries and the team that works well together accomplishes more and she helped us to see something. I mean, she nailed me to the wall and if any of you are huge Enneagram people, I’m a one wing two. 

 

0:21:16 – Brian

I’m an eight with a seven wing. 

 

0:21:19 – Kayla

But what I learned, and this is what was just mind boggling for me, even as a one wing two, when I’m at my healthiest, I trend towards a seven. You have a seven, and both of my dearest, closest work confidants have a seven, and so I am surrounded by sevens. If I’m at my best, that’s where I trend towards. 

 

0:21:45 – Brian

So that was comforting and kind of wild. I’m an eight with a seven wing, which means I want to change the world. I have big dreams, I have big pictures. Yeah, okay, I don’t do details, so this is what cracked me up my wife, who is my number one confidant, is an Enneagram one with a two wing. All about the details, all about them. Adam McCain, who is the VP of operations, who is my number one here in the organization, he’s a one with a two wing. 

 

So when, I start presenting him plans, he’ll say Bina, what about this? How will we do this? How are we going to scale this? 

 

0:22:24 – Kayla

And then, what is your executive assistant? 

 

0:22:27 – Brian

Adam Reed is a two with a one wing. It takes three people to wrestle me to the ground to keep me alive? Yes, it does. 

 

0:22:37 – Kayla

It was fascinating. It really was. We did an actual scavenger hunt where we had an hour and a half and we had to visit. So I will just admit to some of the things that I did. We got points. We could choose from an entire list of things. 

 

0:22:53 – Brian

I’m sitting in my Kia and I see you piggybacking on the back of a team member going into a store in. 

 

0:23:01 – Kayla

Johnson City, but I got points for doing it. You had to go in one door and out the other, piggybacking. You had to ask a stranger, I had to ride through the parking lot in a shopping cart and shout to infinity and beyond. 

 

I had to sing with a stranger. One of our team members had to pretend that she was a dog and be led along. So this was, and again, we got points for each of these crazy things that we did. It was a whole lot of fun, but we will end with this. Not to end on a serious note, but it is. One of our team members actually got hurt. She fell and she is actually in the hospital and recovering from a broken leg and a broken hand and even in that we have seen how God has worked and God has brought his family together to take care of her. 

 

But if you would pray for her, her name is Donna. She’s one of my favorite humans in the entire world. 

 

0:24:04 – Brian

She’s amazing. 

 

0:24:05 – Kayla

And she’s hopefully moving to a rehab center any day now. We just need a bed to come available. But, as you are listening, if you would just keep her in your prayers. This was scary and she’s a rock star. 

 

0:24:22 – Brian

She has the sweetest spirit. 

 

0:24:25 – Kayla

I’m not going to say that I would be as content as she has been. So, yeah, that was hard, but it was a wonderful time with all of our team until then. But it was a wonderful time with all of our team until then and we have some pretty funny core memories that we’re carrying away. 

 

0:24:46 – Brian

So, hey, we’d like to share a little bit of peas and carrots with you. We’d like to send you a coffee mug, a notepad, a pen and some Cute little stickers, Cute little stickers and a sticky note. 

 

0:24:55 – Kayla

There’s a sticky note too. Really, Do we send them out a sticky note? 

 

0:24:56 – Brian

There’s a sticky note too. Really, Do we send them out a sticky note? There’s a notepad with sticky notes on it. Oh yeah, a notepad. 

 

0:25:01 – Kayla

So the first two people that go to our website. We say this every week. There’s a trivia button there. If you will click that trivia button and to find that you go to peasandcarrotspodcast.com. If you will click that trivia button, there is a question. 

 

0:25:18 – Brian

And this week’s question is when did we go for summer camp? What’s the name of the town? 

 

0:25:21 – Kayla

What town were we in? Yeah, so again go to peasandcarrotspodcast.com. 

 

0:25:26 – Brian

Click on the trivia button and answer this question. 

 

0:25:28 – Kayla

Where did B and K go for summer camp? What town were we in? 

 

0:25:32 – Brian

Hey, thanks for listening and you can search Peas and Carrots Podcast. 

 

0:25:36 – Kayla

Wherever you get your podcasts, visit our website, which is peasandcarrotspodcast.com, and when you do, please don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast. 

 

0:25:44 – Brian

You can follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast. And please don’t forget to pray for Donna. 

 

0:25:53 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Growing through the challenges we face and finding hope along the way. That’s the Jesus Fix It Podcast with Jess. Check out jesusfixit.com or search Jesus Fix It wherever you listen to podcasts.

 

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Season 3, Episode 22: To My 20 Year Old Self

Can We Talk?
To My 20 Year Old Self - Episode Description

Ever wondered what advice you’d give your younger self if you had the chance? Join us for an amusing and heartfelt episode where we start with a light-hearted chat about cake and fruit, before navigating the challenges of sweltering heat and a fierce storm. Kayla recounts her journey of finally adjusting her glasses after a year of discomfort, while Brian celebrates a significant milestone in his weight loss journey, complete with encouraging words from his doctor. We share reflections on self-acceptance, embracing awkwardness, and the value of being true to oneself with a sprinkle of humor from Kayla’s socially awkward moment at Disney.

Celebrating individuality and living life to its fullest is at the heart of our next discussion. We share advise we would like to give to our 20-year-old selves. We talk about the joy of unique passions, particularly the love for books and learning, and emphasize the importance of staying true to who we are rather than conforming to others’ expectations. Our conversation meanders through the wealth of memories and moments over material possessions and highlights the growth that comes from understanding faith and prioritizing relationships. A brief mention of our Disney resort adventure segues into a dive into our current reading lists, showcasing the books that are captivating us right now. Don’t miss out on the laughter and reflections in this episode!

To My 20 Year Old Self - Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 

 

0:00:11 – Brian

Welcome to the peas and carrots podcast. Hello. I’m Kayla, I’m Brian. 

 

0:00:19 – Kayla

Who am I? Where am I? What day is this? 

 

0:00:22 – Brian

you just had a piece of cake. I did I had some birthdays here. We’ve had some birthdays in the office, so just had a piece of cake. I did. I had some birthdays here. 

 

0:00:26 – Kayla

We’ve had some birthdays in the office, so yeah, a little piece of cake. 

 

0:00:30 – Brian

I had fruit. 

 

0:00:31 – Kayla

I feel judged Well. I’m not saying that, no, I know you’re not. 

 

0:00:36 – Brian

I was living vicariously through you. 

 

0:00:38 – Kayla

It was. 

 

0:00:39 – Brian

It’s a strawberry kind you like. 

 

0:00:41 – Kayla

It’s like a strawberry shortcake kind of yeah, what kind of strawberry kind do you like? It’s like a strawberry shortcake kind of yeah, wow, it’s good. 

 

0:00:47 – Brian

Okay, it’s really good. So what’s up in the world of P&C peas and carrots? We are falling off the bone that comes from a meme. 

 

0:00:56 – Kayla

It’s hot. 

 

0:00:57 – Brian

Like they put something in the oven and it falls off the bone. Dear Lord, we falling off the bone down here, and the guy says Lord, you can turn down the heat, because we are falling off the bone and it’s been dry. 

 

0:01:08 – Kayla

So dry. We finally had a storm last night. And it was a storm, our windows rattled. 

 

0:01:14 – Brian

Yeah, it’s been a while since we’ve had a storm like that. 

 

0:01:18 – Kayla

It’s so dry that our poor yard guy could not mow this week. So that’s where we are. So I have new glasses, oh, and I have a confession, I’ve had them for a year, but I didn’t like the way they fit, and so I’ve been fussing with them. I watched a tutorial on how to fix your glasses. Did you know that if you stick the like, what do they call them? The arms the arms in water. You bend the, they become pliable, so I was able to you did not. 

 

0:01:49 – Brian

Yes, I did. So Hang on, Michaela Elizabeth. 

 

0:01:54 – Kayla

I adjusted my glasses when did you do this the other day? So they’re progressive lenses. What would you have done if you had broken them? Well, I’d have had to go back to the eye doctor, but it’s been a year, so I mean, it’s a whole thing, this whole getting used to a new prescription. 

 

0:02:11 – Brian

you what is it? 

 

0:02:11 – Kayla

but I’m like a I’m like a bobbing doll. I keep looking up, looking down. If you know, you know, if you wear a progressive lens, you kind of have to find where to look like a computer screen yeah, but these are a different size frame. 

 

So, yeah, I’ve been laughing at myself this week because I have to hold my head at a certain angle to see things on the computer screen and then when I look down to read and going upstairs is a whole I gotta take mine off when we’re like looking for something on tv, like when a guide comes up. 

 

0:02:44 – Brian

I got to take them all. 

 

0:02:44 – Kayla

And that’s when I need to make sure I have mine on. 

 

0:02:47 – Brian

So there’s, that. 

 

0:02:49 – Kayla

You have some big news and you can share it, or I will share it, but if you don’t, I’m going to. You had a doctor’s appointment this week. 

 

0:02:58 – Brian

Oh, I’m wondering what in the world’s going on? What’s the big news? Yeah, I’ve lost some more weight down 13 more pounds so but it takes a lot longer. 

 

0:03:10 – Kayla

Your test results are trending very well. Yes. Your doctor was very proud of you. 

 

0:03:15 – Kayla

He was, and I am. You’ve been working really hard, so yeah. So, between new glasses and good test results, it’s been quite a week. It’s hot Hot Like fried chicken. 

 

0:03:28 – Brian

Yeah, People said, you know, is it a good time to come visit Blacksburg? What’s it like? Like well, you’ve been cremated. I mean it’s oh, it’s the. 

 

0:03:41 – Kayla

Gosh. So I was having a conversation with a friend the other night it was actually at our women’s Bible study and she shared something about a learning that she had in her 20s. And I was sitting there mesmerized hearing her talk about some of the things that she had figured out by her mid-20s, and so it kind of had me thinking what would I go back and tell my younger self? What are some things that now not in my twenties? I mean the things that I’ve learned just even in the last four to five years? So we decided we would share some of those. What are the things that you would go back and tell your younger self? 

 

0:04:27 – Brian

Before we start, let’s get this out of the way. Me and Ms Sanders both have a lot of drainage going on. 

 

0:04:33 – Kayla

Oh, these allergies are yeah. 

 

0:04:35 – Brian

So if you hear us hacking and coughing, that’s what’s going on. We’ll try not to First time. The first thing I would say to my younger self is be who you are, not who you think you need to be to be accepted. Because I have felt for years and years and years that I had to be a certain way in order to be accepted. I had to be overly generous to get people to like me. 

 

0:05:03 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:05:03 – Brian

That I have to be humorous so that people wouldn’t look at my weight, or that the fact that I stutter you would do things to deflect yeah. Yes, so just embrace who you are, and not everybody in the world is going to like you. And I’m a pretty great guy, yeah, you are so one of mine is your awkwardness. 

 

0:05:25 – Kayla

Okay, it makes you relatable. So One of mine is your awkwardness, kay, it makes you relatable, you’re not awkward. 

 

0:05:27 – Brian

Honey. 

 

0:05:28 – Kayla

I am so socially awkward I am. We were at Disney the other day and the lady said I hope you enjoy the rest of your day in the park. And I looked at her and I said you too. She’s working at a restaurant, she’s not going anywhere. And then I realized, oh, I shouldn’t have said that. So I am so awkward, but it puts other people at ease that I’m not well it makes them feel better about themselves well, there’s that and they’re welcome I just I struggle with small talk because I’m an introvert and so small talk is painful for me. 

 

It’s just like so that’s when I become really awkward. I just want to be like so, do you have a dog? What’s your dog’s name? Yeah, I’m just being honest. So yeah, what’s another one you would share? 

 

0:06:24 – Brian

It’s easier to lose weight when you’re younger, but don’t stop trying when you’re older. I mean, if I could go back. A big regret I have is not starting this health journey when I was like 30, 35. It’s hard, it’s hard, but I wish I would have done it then. Yeah, establish some habits back then, because now I’m like playing catch up and this stuff likes to hang on. 

 

0:06:51 – Kayla

So that’s too funny because you didn’t know my list and I didn’t know yours. And this is my next one. Don’t quit because something gets hard. Pivot and keep going. I wish I had not stopped exercising when running got hard. I used to love to run the first 10 years of our marriage. You used to love yeah she’d run and I loved it. It was very relaxing for me the first time she got dressed to go run. 

 

0:07:17 – Brian

I’m like who is chasing us? 

 

0:07:21 – Kayla

I don’t understand that, but then I started having knee issues and it started being harder. It took more, and so I quit. I just quit totally. I should have stepped up in another area. I wish I had not just stopped everything, and so that’s the lesson to me is if something becomes more challenging, don’t quit. Figure out maybe a new way to do that. 

 

0:07:49 – Brian

For me. There’s stuff in my past and I need if I could go back and tell myself this that it’s not your fault, what happened to you isn’t your fault, and release myself of false guilt. I’m doing better with that and I’m not going to go into all the issues, but it isn’t my fault. Other people made decisions and did things. 

 

0:08:14 – Kayla

You were the benefit of someone else’s bad decisions. 

 

0:08:16 – Brian

Yes, and so that’s all I want to say about that. 

 

0:08:22 – Kayla

I understand. This one has been a big realization for me, and I have just come to this y’all in the last three months. You don’t stink at friendship. There are some friends who are lifelong and there are some that are just for a season, and what I’m learning to tell myself in those moments when I label myself a failure because a friendship hasn’t lasted or it’s changed, is lean into the friendships that I do have and cherish them while they are a part of my life and stop accusing myself of stinking I think I even said that in a previous podcast is that I really stink at friendship and what God has revealed to me is I don’t like the uncomfortable of change. 

 

And so when a friendship changes, I assume that I must have done something wrong. Well, that’s not necessarily true. It could be that the two of us have just grown in different directions, or it could be that we’re in different stages of our life. 

 

0:09:28 – Brian

I think that they just can’t handle your like awesomeness. 

 

0:09:32 – Kayla

Oh, wow, well, OK, but no, just be OK with not. Every friendship is going to be with you from the start of your life to the finish of your life, and that doesn’t necessarily now. That is not a free card to be a jerk. And if if I have done something that has hurt someone, then I do need to make amends, that’s, I’m not giving myself a pass on situations where I have had to go to someone and say I’m sorry, I hurt you. This is where there’s just that natural progression. We’ve all been there where you call each other less, or you see each other less, or you just kind of have different hobbies and interests, and so I sit with this just false assumption that I failed and I should have done something to make it last. 

 

0:10:22 – Brian

For me, loving books doesn’t make me weird. 

 

0:10:26 – Kayla

No, it doesn’t. 

 

0:10:27 – Brian

Own your passion. I never had a passion to play football, never had a passion to play baseball. Golf Never had a passion to play baseball. Golf loved, but I never went out for the team. But I always felt outside, looking in, because my passion was learning, my passion was reading, my passion was, oh, tell me more about that. That was my passion, and so I always felt weird because I’d fishing with Dad and I love those memories but I don’t go fishing today. I did it because of dad. 

 

0:11:06 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:11:07 – Brian

You know I’d like to go to like a coffee bar where everybody’s reading the book. And that’s OK, that’s, and so you’re finding that to be acceptable, acceptable and to be OK with it. Yeah. 

 

0:11:19 – Kayla

Another one for me. Being true to who God made you is a superpower. Stay in your lane, chase the dreams that he has placed in your heart. That’s been a big one for me. It is OK, and y’all, I can’t say this enough the older I get, the less I want you just get to the point where you realize you have the things that matter. I’m not acquiring anymore. You and I talked about this the other night. We’re not in a phase of collecting, not things anyway. We are collecting memories and moments, and so you get to a point where you start to realize what has value to you, what doesn’t. 

 

It’s okay for me to embrace the qualities of God that set me apart and that make me add value. 

 

I’m not meant to be a carbon copy of someone else, and don’t apologize for showing up. There were seasons in my life where, because I could tell it was making someone else uncomfortable, I shrank back, and in the last two or three years, I have been able to show up and accept that these are the qualities God gave me. There was a time, you remember this, B, someone accused me of being too in the details. That quote I was a perfectionist and I was driving everyone crazy because I asked questions and I was handling details and details didn’t matter. What that person was communicating to me was I wasn’t them, and what I came to realize after a season was I’m not meant to be them, because it doesn’t work if we all just see the big picture. Some of us have to see the details so we can help the people who see the big picture. And once I started to embrace the fact that perfectionism, placed rightly is okay, I could thrive. So that one’s been a big one for me, chase, after who God made you to be. 

 

0:13:31 – Brian

That’s a cool quote and something you said I just want to build on. A full life isn’t a house full of things. 

 

0:13:37 – Kayla

No. 

 

0:13:38 – Brian

A full house is a life full of memories. 

 

0:13:42 – Kayla

Yeah, and we’ve worked really hard in that. You and I, we both have hobbies. Again, we have books, y’all. We have lots of books. And we have other things. I love shoes, not gonna lie, and y’all know I love pretty little sweaters. I love shoes, not gonna lie, and y’all know I love pretty little sweaters. But there comes a point where you realize that you get to capacity. I mean, you just do, you don’t need or want any more of those things. Maybe books is the exception, but we’ve just decided that we want to look back and say these are the things we did not these are the things we stored. 

 

0:14:22 – Brian

For me, Jesus doesn’t give up on me. Here’s what that means. He was with me when I was stupid. I used to be so unkind and I used to be very black and white on things. And as the older I get and the more I learn about him, there’s a lot more gray area and people say well, you know, the Bible says that. No, your interpretation of the Bible says that. The Bible actually says this. 

 

0:14:48 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:14:49 – Brian

Now that’s authoritative. Now, your opinion about that is not, and that’s a lesson I had to learn. 

 

0:14:57 – Kayla

So the final one for me is one that I actually did learn in my 20s, and I have carried it with me for 30 some odd years. I will never regret the trips I take. I will never regret the memories that I’ve made, the things that I have said no to, so that I can be the best wife that you need. It’s you first, always, and so my encouragement to people is do not apologize for making your people a priority, because that’s who God gave you. 

 

0:15:33 – Brian

Well, I’m a little bit moved in an emotional way. 

 

0:15:37 – Kayla

Okay. 

 

0:15:40 – Brian

This next segment is about books. We’re reading, but there’s something about Disney that we didn’t bring up last week. I want to hit real quick, then we’ll go to the books. Okay, we stayed on property at a very nice resort. We did Dear Disney. Would you please install proper height toilets? Our toilet was for elementary school children, Am I right? I was not that short Baby. It was six inches off the floor. I almost popped a knee. 

 

0:16:12 – Kayla

It wasn’t that bad. 

 

0:16:13 – Brian

And then we come home and we got king-size toilets and I’m getting leg cramps because I’m used to having to squat what’s wrong. You haven’t been through that. Oh my gosh, what I did not expect to hear this today. You don’t think that toilet at Disney was? 

 

0:16:26 – Kayla

I did not expect to hear this today. You don’t think that toilet at Disney was old? 

 

0:16:29 – Brian

Well, I mean, it was a little low to the ground, but I mean, I almost had to have you come in here and pick me up a few times. 

 

0:16:35 – Kayla

You have a commercial grade toilet at home so you’re a little bit spoiled, but it was friends, it was a normal toilet. I will say it was not a kindergarten classroom. And again, if you know, you know that was not a normal sized toilet. 

 

0:16:49 – Brian

Yes, it was yeah for a fifth grader. Do you feel better now?

 

0:16:52 – Kayla

Yes, Okay, they’re not going to change. 

 

I hate to tell you. So what are we reading? Well, this will just be like a quick hit. Someone asked me the other day. They said you haven’t told us lately what you’re reading, and I miss that. So one of the books I’m reading is a book by Lysa TerKeurst. It’s good boundaries and goodbyes. Loving others without losing the best of who you are and y’all you’ve heard me talk about this before. Boundaries are a big deal to me because I carried a lot of false narratives for a long time about who I was supposed to be to please other people, and usually the people without boundaries are people pleasers. So this has been a fantastic read so far. 

 

0:17:49 – Brian

Character Matters and Other Life Lessons from George HW Bush by his chief of staff after he left the presidency, named Gene Becker. The book is fantastic. You read me a few excerpts from this, and it’s full of stories about the 41st president. Yeah, y’all get that book. You will laugh, you will cry. It is fantastic. 

 

0:18:09 – Kayla

Another book I’m reading is it’s an actual Bible study book. Our women’s group is going through it on Tuesdays. It’s, I believe it’s, 10 chapters. Each chapter is standalone. So if you have a women’s group that is looking for a book that you could do with your group. It’s called Identity Theft Reclaiming the Truth of Our Identity in Christ, and it has been a real refresher to me of things that the false narratives that we tend to tell ourselves when our actual identity is in him. This past week we talked about how we don’t think we are enough in Christ that we feel like it’s this plus this equals. And this has been a great book, just a good reminder to all of us of whose we are. 

 

0:19:01 – Brian

I’m reading Eric Larson’s latest release called the Demon of Unrest, and it’s the story of Fort Sumter during the Civil War and that’s how the Civil War started, is that? And it has Lincoln in it. It’s a true story and it’s about the whole start of the Civil War and they call that particular area in this particular conflict. You know, that’s the whole demon of. 

 

0:19:27 – Kayla

Uncast. Oh, okay, that’s what that means. So I have to give a shout out to my Joy FM friends and they have me hooked on a series and, yes, it’s a thriller. 

 

0:19:39 – Brian

Now let me just say this about these Joy FM friends you got to keep a good eye on them. Okay, Stop. 

 

0:19:46 – Kayla

I love them, but you got to keep a good eye on them. But I’m reading a book by Frida McFadden called the House Maid. What’s her name? Frida McFadden. 

 

0:19:51 – Brian

I guarantee you that’s got to be a ghost name. It’s a ghost.

 

0:19:53 – Kayla

No, she actually writes it oh she writes it. 

 

0:19:56 – Brian

It’s a stage name. 

 

0:19:57 – Kayla

Yes, but it’s about a maid who moves into her house, and I won’t say any more than that. I’m not saying anything, I don’t want to give anything away, but thank you, to my joy from friends, they’ve gifted me my latest murder mystery. 

 

0:20:16 – Brian

We Christian people read a lot about death. I’m just going to tell you how do you die? Well, read the book. The last book I’m reading is John Maxwell’s High Road Leadership. It’s about always taking the higher road to be the better person to treat people right Cool. And it’s very challenging but also very inspiring. 

 

0:20:40 – Kayla

Yeah, and the last one I’m reading for now is by Will Gadara. It’s Unreasonable Hospitality. I love this book, and it may end up being my book of the year. 

 

0:20:52 – Brian

It’s pretty good. 

 

0:20:53 – Kayla

It’s an incredible read, but if you work in any kind of customer experience, you need to read this book. 

 

0:21:02 – Brian

I agree, hey, we got a peas and carrots coffee mug here. We have some notepads. We have some book. I agree, hey, we got a Peas and Carrots coffee mug here. 

 

0:21:07 – Kayla

We have some notepads. 

 

0:21:08 – Brian

We have some stickers, some pens. 

 

0:21:11 – Kayla

And you could win all that? Yes, you could, by answering a question. That question is. What are you reading? 

 

0:21:18 – Brian

Okay, to do that, you go to our website peasandcarrotspodcast.com. When you get there, you click on. 

 

0:21:26 – Kayla

Look for the trivia button. Click the trivia button again. Go to peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Click that button. Answer the question. We want to know what are you reading? And y’all we’re going to assume you’re reading the Bible, because we are too, but we want to know something else that you’re reading. So we get it. You love Jesus. We do as well, but share with us something we should read. 

 

0:21:52 – Brian

So go to the peasandcarrotspodcast.com and just click the trivia button and tell us what are you reading. Hey, thanks for listening to this week’s edition of the peas and carrots podcast. 

 

0:22:01 – Kayla

You can search peas and carrots podcast wherever you get your podcasts, or again visit our website peasandcarrotspodcast.com. And when you do, please don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast. 

 

0:22:12 – Brian

You can also follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast. One final note I’m waiting on that little survey to come from Disney about what we loved and didn’t like. 

 

0:22:22 – Kayla

They closed the survey. 

 

0:22:23 – Brian

I did not get to tell them about the toilet. Nope, what we loved and didn’t like. They closed the survey. I did not get to tell them about the toilet. Nope, I am calling that hotel.

 

0:22:33 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Life’s not perfect. That’s why God gave us friends like Melody and Candi. Check out QuirksBumpsandBruises.com, or search Quirks, Bumps, and Bruises wherever you listen to podcasts.

 

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Season 3, Episode 21: Our Sunshine State of Mind

Can We Talk?
Here's Your Sign - Episode Description

Join us on the Peas and Carrots Podcast as we return from a scorching yet delightful Disney trip, where we recount walking an impressive 50 miles and indulging in delectable treats. We also touch on the stark weather contrasts between Virginia and Florida, which resulted in severe sinus drainage. Get ready for a humorous tale involving Brian’s suspenders and a curious child in a Disney bathroom, followed by the challenges we faced upon returning to the gym. With more Disney stories hinted at for future episodes, this one is sure to keep you entertained.

We also explore various lessons we’re carrying into the second half of the year. We’ll talk about the complex journey of grief and its unexpected manifestations, especially during a trip to Disney World on Father’s Day. We reflect on the importance of self-compassion and share why Disney World holds a special place in our hearts, highlighting our favorite parks and the joy of connecting with people from around the globe. Tune in for a heartfelt and humorous episode that connects us all.

Our Sunshine State of Mind - Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 

 

0:00:11 – Kayla

Welcome to the peas and carrots podcast. 

 

0:00:13 – Brian

I’m Brian and I’m Kayla and we both have severe sinus drainage. 

 

0:00:18 – Kayla

Yeah, nothing like coming back to Virginia after two weeks in Florida. 

 

0:00:23 – Brian

So and of course, I’m allergy bubble boy, I’m allergic to everything you are so yeah, here we are. So what’s up in the world of Peas and Carrots? 

 

0:00:33 – Kayla

Disney was amazing and hot. 

 

0:00:37 – Brian

We went and, as of this recording, we’ve been back from Disney three or four days and we already miss it. 

 

0:00:45 – Kayla

We do I will say this we had a lot of concerned people and we love you for that. We did not have a lot of rain in our area. Now South Florida got hammered. 

 

0:00:57 – Brian

Now I’ll say this we had a couple of rain showers, we had a lot of hot. It was hot. It was hot, I mean ridiculous. 

 

0:01:05 – Kayla

We learned why we like to go in March and December. 

 

0:01:08 – Brian

Yeah, so it was um, but they had some kind of a tropical trough. It wasn’t a system. Yeah, just camp over south Florida like around Miami yeah, for days and it just uh flooded them. 

 

0:01:22 – Kayla

So I mean we had a couple of typical afternoon thunderstorms, but it was amazing, so yeah, so over the course of those days, Miss Kayla, how far did we walk? We stopped counting at 50 miles. We just said we’re not counting anymore. 

 

0:01:41 – Brian

And here’s the crazy thing we walked 50 miles and I gained five pounds. That’s not what I was going for Did you really? 

 

0:01:50 – Kayla

I did Well B. I had dessert with every meal and ice cream and cookies and more ice cream. 

 

0:01:57 – Brian

I didn’t see you have a cookie. 

 

0:02:00 – Kayla

Well, it doesn’t mean I didn’t have it. Oh, we did have those Oreos in the room, didn’t we? 

 

0:02:03 – Brian

Well, it doesn’t mean I didn’t have it. Oh, we did have those. 

 

0:02:04 – Kayla

Oreos in the room, didn’t we? I had all kinds of things, and I’m here for it. I’m not ashamed, I will say this. I’ve already got back down to like just two pounds, so we’re good, I’m getting back. 

 

0:02:17 – Brian

I don’t know how that happened. Okay. Well eating salads doesn’t hurt, let me say this we walked 50 miles. We flew home on a Tuesday. Wednesday was a rest day. We went to the gym Thursday morning. 

 

0:02:31 – Kayla

Yes. 

 

0:02:32 – Brian

It almost killed us. After two weeks away yes, and I talked to the young lady there who was the trainer that day and I told her she says your body is still recovering from walking 50 miles. 

 

0:02:43 – Kayla

Yeah, because. 

 

0:02:44 – Brian

I was literally doing this exercise where I was taking a plate putting over. When I say a plate, it’s like a 10 pound weight and you pick it up, put it over your head, deck down. You do that 30 times. I almost cried. It hurt that bad. I mean, it was ridiculous. 

 

0:03:00 – Kayla

But it was well worth it, and we do. We have lots of stories to share. We will was well worth it, and we do. We have lots of stories to share. We will save those for just a few minutes. Um, a teaser. We will go ahead and share one b. You had kind of an awkward experience in the bathroom well, that’s awkward to phrase it like that. 

 

0:03:20 – Brian

Uh, so you’re about to learn more about me than you ever bargained for. So I wear suspenders underneath my shirts. Keeps your pants up. So it keeps my pants up. I don’t want to tuck my shirts in and wear suspenders on the outside. I don’t think it looks good, so I wear them under my shirts to where they’re hidden. So that means that when I have to go to potty and sit down, I have to take your shorts off, I have to take my spenders off to get that off. 

 

Well, I’m sitting in a bathroom in like Hollywood Studios, at Disney World, and of course my suspenders are like on the floor, like because I’m just laying them out. And this dad and this kid come into the stall next to me. I could hear him talking and all of a sudden I guess this kid was probably four, five, six I see this little hand come underneath the little wall there in the stall and grabs my suspenders and starts pulling on. Well, I am just flipping out. So I reach down on the other end of my suspenders. I’m pulling them back. Well, I guess it turns into its own. Well, stupid me, I’m 56 and work out the gym, so I’m pretty strong here. I’ve got this six year old toddler and I pull it and all of a sudden his whole arms. 

 

0:04:42 – Kayla

Okay, for all the littles, a six-year-old is not a toddler. I just need to clarify that. Toddlers are two. 

 

0:04:52 – Brian

So, for all the six-year-olds, I’ve got you. Oh, for all the six-year-old listeners, we didn’t mean to offend you, okay. So anyway, I pull it back. Well, there’s this whole arm in my stall now. So now I’m wigging like I don’t need to pull this kid in my under the bathroom. 

 

And so now the dad is involved, he’s like, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go. I mean he’s getting really poor, dad, oh. And so finally, you know, this kid lets go, and I get my suspenders and I tuck them in to where nobody else can get a hold of him, hopefully. And then I hear that dad and that kid leave and he’s like get your little tail out of here. Right now I’ll kill you. 

 

0:05:30 – Kayla

So I was, that was, I was so nervous, like I did and I was, because you were gone for a really long time and I’m like, okay, this is not normal, so there you go again. What did I say before we left? You are a magnet for crazy. And here we are. Thank you, don invite it, it found you. 

 

0:05:55 – Brian

Looking at the calendar, how far are we into the year? 

 

0:05:58 – Kayla

This is crazy. We are nearly halfway through 2024. That’s unbelievable Flying yeah. 

 

0:06:07 – Brian

Just flying. 

 

0:06:08 – Kayla

What lessons are we carrying into the second half of the year? 

 

0:06:13 – Brian

Well, I’ll start this off and say this I’m going to own who I am. I’m going to own that I’m healing. I’ve had multiple, multiple people come up to me, friends, and say B you are healing. Yeah, said, you are a healthier version of yourself. So I don’t want to stop working on me. I want to keep working on me. I want to continue to be, but it doesn’t mean I’ll ever be perfect, and I have this tremendous pressure on myself to be perfect and not drive people up a wall. But I’ve got to give myself space. 

 

0:06:46 – Kayla

Which is a segue into. One of the things that I’m really learning this year is progress over perfection. I’m realizing that I can be bad at things, and it’s OK, because I’m trying and I’m also realizing I may not be where I want to be. There are some very specific goals I set for myself this year and I’m not there yet. But I’m doing the work, and very few, if any, successes happen overnight. It’s always a work in progress. 

 

0:07:21 – Brian

And I’ll build on that by saying that for me, there’s still work to be done. In other words, there’s weight that needs to be lost by me. I think I gained a couple of pounds at Disney I don’t know how. I did not eat a lot of desserts. 

 

0:07:37 – Kayla

I’d say it’s fluid retention. It was 100 degrees. 

 

0:07:43 – Brian

I wish I could pee off 100 pounds in. Okay, there’s habits I need to break. I don’t need to assume that every time somebody’s in a bad mood it’s about me and quit asking people so much, are you okay? I don’t know if that drives people up a wall, but there’s just things. There’s still work to be done. I’m nervous of ever thinking that I’ve arrived, so I need to just own that. 

 

0:08:08 – Kayla

This one’s hard to admit, but I’m going to because hopefully it will help someone else. I am not responsible for how other people act and I need to unpack that. I am accountable for how I act and react towards others. And here’s the truth, mom. Sometimes perfectionism masks itself in criticisms. I read that a few weeks back and I have been sitting with that truth, so I’m going to say that again. Sometimes perfectionism masks itself in criticisms. I internalize that other people’s behavior could be my responsibility or it reflects poorly on me, and that’s the part that I’m working on. The critic comes out when their actions don’t align with what I feel is best, and I’m working really hard to let other people be other people and that I don’t have to own it and I don’t have to explain it. I can just be who I am. 

 

0:09:18 – Brian

And for you that’s a big deal. 

 

0:09:20 – Kayla

Oh yeah, because I always fear that people are judging me for someone else’s behavior. 

 

0:09:27 – Brian

See, we’re kind of opposites in that. 

 

0:09:30 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:09:30 – Brian

But I’m proud of you for seeing that though. 

 

0:09:33 – Kayla

Again, it’s a work in progress, but I’m finding myself being a whole lot less critical because I realize my criticism is tied to my own perception. 

 

0:09:45 – Brian

For me, it’s okay to be different, and sometimes I will withdraw from a group. 

 

0:09:51 – Kayla

And this is part of your healing, and I am so here for it. 

 

0:09:57 – Brian

I like to read, I like Star Wars, I like Disney. I don’t like working on cars. I don’t like going to certain sporting events. 

 

0:10:09 – Kayla

Yeah, and it’s okay. 

 

0:10:10 – Brian

And that’s okay. It doesn’t make me less of a person. It doesn’t make me less of a man. Yeah, it just says that I enjoy these things more. But I will retreat in certain groups because I feel like I’m less than that. I’m not part of that because I don’t enjoy NASCAR. I don’t get it. You’re just going in a circle over and over again. I don’t understand it. And so when I get in certain groups of people, I will usually just withdraw and go the corner because I feel different. But I need to accept that. It’s okay if these people like one thing and I like something else. Now I may need to go find some people to talk to, but there you go. 

 

0:11:00 – Kayla

A big goal of mine this year has been be someone who leaves people better than I found them, I think. For some reason, this year more than any other, I have seen that there are so many people who are carrying some really heavy stuff I mean hard things and they may choose to keep that private. So as we encounter people in our day-to-day, maybe they hit us wrong with their attitude or the way they’re carrying themselves. We may not know what they are carrying. And the reminder for me in a thousand ways this year has been it takes so little effort to be genuinely kind and grateful and present and patient with other people, because really isn’t that what I want? 

 

0:11:57 – Brian

For me, another big goal is to pursue Jesus faithfully and to know him and not just know about him. What I’m learning it’s taken me years to learn this and I still got a long way to go is not to pursue a feeling. We think sometimes that when we chase after Jesus, it’s going to produce a certain feeling, and it doesn’t when you follow after him. 

 

0:12:24 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:12:25 – Brian

You’re not pursuing a feeling, you’re pursuing a relationship with him, and so every day I will do some devos and I will pray, and I’m OK if there’s not a certain feeling, because I have to remember the truth that he’s still God, even if I don’t feel him, that he’s still faithful in reading and praying, meditating and just trying to live out. 

 

0:13:06 – Kayla

Well, what was that? There was a quote I read one time even the teacher is silent during the test. 

 

0:13:13 – Brian

Well, I ain’t ready for a test, so let’s not invite that. But yes, so that’s who he is. I like that. Yes, so that’s who he is. 

 

0:13:20 – Kayla

Speaking of silence, I’ve grown very comfortable with silence, and that’s odd as I’m sitting here doing a podcast. But what I mean by that is not everyone has a right to know all things about your life things about your life. We owe ourselves the right to keep certain aspects of our lives private and not feel the need to explain everything to others. Here’s another truth bomb. 

 

Some part of me feels like I’m being rude or unkind if I don’t present myself as an open book. And yet there are those who need to know details, and they probably shouldn’t, because you have to decide for yourself who your circle is, who your safe people are, and then everyone else just gets to be on the fringe. And that doesn’t mean you don’t care about them, but what it does mean is you care about protecting yourself, mean, is you care about protecting yourself? And there has been this comfortable silence within me this year that there are some things in our lives even that have transpired in the last 12 to 15 months. I’m not going to defend us, I’m not going to explain it. I’m okay with those who know no, and those who don’t won’t, and so it’s just. It’s part of my growth journey. We have a bonus one. 

 

0:14:48 – Brian

Okay. 

 

0:14:48 – Kayla

This one we have both been reminded of in the last six months. 

 

0:14:55 – Brian

I think grief is a marathon. Yeah, it’s not a sprint. Yeah, yeah, grief is a journey. It’s a long journey that you’re on and it will reveal itself at various times. I remember we were at Disney World during Father’s Day and there were moments I just wanted to cry because you see, you look around, you see all these dads walking around with their kids and I’m like, you know, I wish dad was here, I could call him or something, that kind of stuff. And then sometimes you grieve what you don’t have and we’re not going to get into that, but like because we were never able to have children, I was grieving watching that. 

 

0:15:36 – Kayla

And so. And yet that afternoon God gave us the sweetest moment. 

 

0:15:42 – Brian

Oh, that little girl. 

 

0:15:44 – Kayla

There was a little girl. We were in the Frozen Ever After sing-along and watching her when Elsa came on stage. She was, it was magic it was absolute magic seeing the look on her face and the way she we both cried. 

 

We did cry because it was just, it was literally seeing Disney through the eyes of a child and I know God gave us that on Father’s Day. It was not lost on me and it was absolutely beautiful. But yeah, grief is. It’s not linear. It has its ups and downs. It has its days where it will just absolutely blindside you and yet what we are learning is to be kind to ourselves and to others on those days when we realize that we’re dealing with grief. 

 

0:16:30 – Brian

Yeah, I don’t think you ever get over grief. I just think that you build a new life around it. You do. 

 

0:16:35 – Kayla

That’s what happens. 

 

0:16:36 – Brian

Yeah. 

 

0:16:37 – Kayla

So yeah. 

 

0:16:37 – Brian

Those are the things that we’re trying to continue to learn halfway through the year. 

 

0:16:42 – Kayla

Yeah, so let’s talk about Florida. It was hot, we’ve said that already. 

 

0:16:51 – Brian

Okay. 

 

0:16:51 – Kayla

But there are some questions that we get from time to time. Why do we continue to go to Disney when we could go see the world? We could spoiler. We were going to Italy this summer and then we saw the events that were taking place in the world. We thought about the time of year that we were looking to travel and we both agreed unanimously let’s just go back to Disney. Why Disney? Well, for us it’s the ease of travel. 

 

0:17:21 – Brian

We get to hop on a plane when you get to the Orlando airport. There’s a bus that takes you from the airport right to the doors of your resort. It’s all inclusive. There are restaurants everywhere, there are attractions, there are shows, there are rides, there are various foods. You can experience various. 

 

0:17:41 – Kayla

We can take a, we can take a boat or we can walk to two of our resorts. There’s just, I mean there’s, or parks, I should say. 

 

0:17:50 – Brian

People say don’t you get tired of experiencing the same thing over and over again? No, because there’s always something a little bit different that’s happening there. Yeah, and you get to see the magic. You get to see everything there. So why do we love Disney? Well, first of all, you love which park. 

 

0:18:07 – Kayla

I love Epcot. 

 

0:18:08 – Brian

Yes. 

 

0:18:09 – Kayla

It has rides, it has World Showcase. It’s walking distance from our resort you love. 

 

0:18:16 – Brian

Hollywood Studios. 

 

0:18:18 – Kayla

Because it’s all things star wars yes, and actually we have.

 

0:18:23 – Brian

There’s like a little boat you can catch from our resort. Yeah, that’ll take us right to the gate we’re there in 10 minutes. Yeah, yeah and it’s crazy. So unpopular opinion we don’t love magic kingdom and we also don’t really. 

 

0:18:38 – Kayla

We love Animal Kingdom in the fall when it’s not as hot, but we actually skipped Animal Kingdom this time because it was just too hot. 

 

0:18:47 – Brian

Too hot and also you will walk more at Animal Kingdom than any other park. Yeah, there’s basically two things that we enjoy to do at Animal Kingdom. That’s the safari. And there’s a little show the Lion King show that we go to. Those are basically the two things that we enjoy to do at Animal Kingdom. That’s the safari and there’s a little show the Lion King show that we go to. Those are basically the two things. 

 

0:19:02 – Kayla

And we do like going through the like. There’s the whole area where the monkeys and all that are, but yeah, and I enjoy that. 

 

0:19:12 – Brian

Admittedly, you can hear me cough in the background. I’m actually cutting down the microphone, so just realize. So everybody listening. A little side note there, just a little side note I am cutting down the microphone, but we do have drainage. 

 

0:19:22 – Kayla

So, admittedly, we will resume March and Thanksgiving or Christmas trips because summers in Florida are a thing we learned. Summer is the off season. That was an enlightening because it’s so hot and because it’s outside of the window of like Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas. And it’s humid, so if you’re looking to deal with less crowds and the heat does not phase you, then go in the summer. 

 

0:19:52 – Brian

Because we were able to flex so much, so much stuff. 

 

0:19:55 – Kayla

I mean, there were days we decided, okay, we want to change to this restaurant or we want to hop on this ride, and we were able to do that. We won’t be able to do that at Christmas, and we know that, and that’s okay, we’ll just. You either have to plan and work your plan or, if you go in the summer, you can definitely be a little more flexible. 

 

0:20:24 – Brian

We also have one of my very best friends lives down there. His name is Stan. 

 

0:20:27 – Kayla

We do and we spent five days with him for five days, and got to see Stan Jose and Eric and spend some time and that was fun you love also. 

 

I just love all things Florida the palm trees, the water, the people because in each park there are people from different countries and so you’re getting to visit with these people and you get to hear their story. I mean, we got to talk with several cast members this time and ask them what are you enjoying about America and what are you looking forward to? And what’s funny is half of them were looking forward to going to Vegas. But here we are, so it was very strange. 

 

It’s like it’s one of them told us it’s the go-to place for Florida right now. 

 

0:21:07 – Brian

So it must be a cheap flight. 

 

0:21:09 – Kayla

I guess. So there were a couple of things that I mean. Yes, it was amazing. We will share a couple of more epic moments and then we’ll just share some hard truths. There was a day that was very, very sweet for me and I have been married to you for nearly 31 years and Stan has been a dear friend of ours for 31 years. I did not know you were terrified of heights, both of you and there’s a ride called Soarin’ where you are literally strapped in with basically like a car seat belt. 

 

0:21:44 – Brian

And it raises you up off the ground. 

 

0:21:46 – Kayla

You go off the ground, you’re dangling by your feet. 

 

0:21:48 – Brian

See, now, that’s what bothers me. 

 

0:21:50 – Kayla

And then you’re in this immersive experience where you’re kind of dipping and swaying. 

 

0:21:54 – Brian

And it takes you up over the Eiffel Tower. You go over the Eiffel Tower. 

 

0:21:56 – Kayla

You come down into this pasture where there’s like a stampede coming at you, but you smell the grass, you smell the dirt, you go over the Taj Mahal and you smell like flowers. 

 

0:22:09 – Brian

I will do anything for my bride. 

 

0:22:11 – Kayla

Both of you did the entire ride with your eyes closed. 

 

0:22:16 – Brian

Yes, and I was gripping so hard. When I came off, I actually had bruises in my hand. 

 

0:22:20 – Kayla

You did, and then you noticed and I felt terrible and you noticed that I was walking. You were both shaking. 

 

0:22:26 – Brian

Yeah. 

 

0:22:26 – Kayla

And I just could not get over. I looked at both of you and said why did you do this? And your response was because you like it. That’s exactly right, and it really touched me, but we did not do it again. So, there was an evening you had booked something special for me it was our last evening of vacation. 

 

0:22:46 – Brian

Dinner at Epcot at a British restaurant called the Rose and Crown. Yeah, it’s the dinner and fireworks package, and we are so close to the fireworks, the ash was coming back on our table fell down on us but you smiled like a little girl for an hour and a half. 

 

0:23:05 – Kayla

You loved everything about it I did yeah, because it’s at a pub, just yeah you’re outside and it’s wonderful so the rooms at Disney. We have a pro tip for you when you are still your air conditioning, or if you’re in the winter, your heat will turn off because it’s motion centered. Yes, the thermostat so what is the trick that someone taught you? Buy a balloon and tape it, just sit it in front of your. 

 

0:23:35 – Brian

Yeah, tape it to the wall and put it in front of your. Yeah, tape it to the wall and put it in front of the of the motion sensor so that that balloon will move during the night. Yeah, and it will keep the air conditioner running. And so we didn’t know that, and or I forgot about it and I woke up two or three times a couple of times yeah, it’s ridiculous you have one main complaint against Disney. 

 

As much as you pay, as much as you pay Y’all could do a little bit better than this. 

 

0:24:10 – Kayla

One ply see-through toilet paper y’all got going on at Disney. 

 

0:24:11 – Brian

They are kind of lacking in that department it is John Wayne. You don’t take crap off nobody. Okay, it is. I didn’t expect to hear that. I mean you need a expect to hear that. I mean you need a powder puff after about day four. 

 

0:24:23 – Kayla

Okay, Lord forgive me. We were in line waiting for a ride and there was a family in front of us, and there was a family in front of them. Well, the family in front of them. 

 

She felt the need to insert her opinion unwarranted to the family behind her and telling her well, you must do this and you must do that and book this book that plan your day like this. Listen, you must do that and book this book that plan your day like this. And there was a moment where she finally turned around facing her own family again and the family looked back at us like help and I whispered it’s your trip. 

 

0:25:02 – Brian

Do whatever you want to do. Do whatever you want to do. 

 

0:25:05 – Kayla

Nobody else gets to decide for you what your vacation should look like, and you and I both the ease with which we travel together. I just love it. Because I’ll say this if you want to grasp your own selfishness, go into any vacation or trip with your own itinerary that is so like locked down and fixed, and refuse to flex for anyone else. 

 

0:25:34 – Brian

It’ll get blown up. 

 

0:25:35 – Kayla

It will absolutely ruin your trip. Yeah and so. Yeah, those are just our takeaways. We cannot wait for our next trip at the end of the year. We’re kind of grieving being home, but it’s OK. We have a lot of life to live between now and December. Would you like to admit what you did this morning. You actually what? 

 

0:25:57 – Brian

Well checked on flight so we could fly down there over July 4th. We got a few days off and I said no because it’s hot. 

 

0:26:04 – Kayla

I reminded you of how hot it is. We’ll be back in December. Very sad, reminded you of how hot it is. So, yeah, we’ll be back in December. Okay, but very sad. So we have a question for you. Um, for the first few people that go to our website and answer this question correctly, there’s a whole slew of stuff coming your way you’re gonna win some stickers, a notepad, a peas and carrots pen and a peas and carrots mug. 

 

0:26:26 – Brian

so you get peas and carrots stickers, peas and carrots pen and a peas and carrots mug. So you get peas and carrots stickers, peas and carrots notepad, a pen and a peas and carrots mug Y’all I thought the stickers were cute. 

 

0:26:35 – Kayla

The notepad has become my bestie. It’s a what do you call it? Peel and stick sheet, Post-it note, Post-it note pad, and it’s got like you can well, you know what I’m talking about Peel and stick, Well you know what I’m talking about. Peel and stick. 

 

0:26:49 – Brian

Listen, I’m a little, my brain’s still hot, so anyway, you can win all that stuff when you answer this question. 

 

0:26:55 – Kayla

What is one travel tip that you would share? Okay, so how do you win that? Go to our website. Go ahead, click the trivia button and what’s our website? 

 

0:27:08 – Brian

Peasandcarrotspodcast.com. That’s peasandcarrotspodcast.com. When you get there, you just click that little trivia button and answer this question. 

 

0:27:17 – Kayla

What is one travel tip you would? 

 

0:27:20 – Brian

share. Hey, thanks for listening to this week’s edition of the Peas and Carrots Podcast and hey, you can search the Peas and Carrots Podcast wherever you get your podcast or you visit our website. 

 

0:27:30 – Kayla

Peasandcarrotspodcast.com. When you do, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast. 

 

0:27:35 – Brian

Also, if you could follow us on Facebook and Instagram and you could help us tell a few friends, we’d appreciate that. All you got to do is just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast. I want to go back to Disney.

 

0:27:44 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Growing through the challenges we face and finding hope along the way. That’s the Jesus Fix It Podcast with Jess. Check out jesusfixit.com or search Jesus Fix It wherever you listen to podcasts.

 

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