Season 3, Episode 10: Biggest Fan

Biggest Fan - Episode Description

Join us this week on Peas and Carrots Podcast for a heartwarming and hilarious journey through the daily dance of our lives together. We share the ins and outs of trying to stick to new habits and routines, from daily trackers to a clever snack bucket system that keeps us on the path to healthier choices. Laugh along as we confess to the quirks in our habit-maintaining strategies and reveal our weekend plans to finally take down our Christmas tree.

We open up about the strength of support and encouragement in a marriage, emphasizing the need for both partners to be each other’s biggest fans. As we chat, you’ll discover the humor and humility in swapping household roles and the comedic results that can ensue. Our conversation is an ode to the idea that being there for each other through thick and thin fortifies a relationship, especially when facing the trials of everyday life. So tune in to hear how we navigate these dynamics with love, laughter, and a touch of grace.

In this installment, we also share some interesting facts about ourselves, discussing everything from the trivial frustrations of ‘reply all’ emails to the more profound personal struggles like dealing with nightmares. We reflect on the ways we each show up in the world, hiding our vulnerabilities behind loudness or stoicism. We’ll also have a few laughs as we share some of our comical quirks. So, grab your headphones, settle in, and let’s share life from our piece of the vegetable patch.

Biggest Fan - Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 

 

0:00:11 – Kayla

Welcome to the Peas and Carrots Podcast. 

 

0:00:13 – Brian

I’m Brian and I’m Kayla, and thanks for being here this week. Right before, I mean just 10 seconds ago, before I press this button to record…

 

0:00:21 – Kayla

Uh-huh. 

 

0:00:22 – Brian

We were having a marital moment.

 

0:00:28 – Kayla

It wasn’t a big deal. When we test the microphones. I always say hello there, and you always growl and say mic check one, two right so I got a little sideways and said what is wrong with me saying hello there? So I admit I just got a lesson as to why the mic check one. Two is important is to make sure that my p’s are not popping well, and also it’s so my t’s don’t sound like and so it’s a long still think I should be able to say hello there. I’ll tell you what baby? 

 

you say whatever so anyway, hello there um, I’ll tell you what baby you say, whatever you want. 

 

0:01:06 – Brian

So anyway, hello there. Y’all see what she did there, don’t you? 

 

0:01:11 – Kayla

How are we doing with our new habits? We’re keeping a daily tracker. 

 

0:01:15 – Brian

We’ve changed the way we grocery shop. I did great during February. It’s March, whatever, and I haven’t. I got to copy that over. 

 

0:01:22 – Kayla

Have you even created it? No, there’s only one more week of March. 

 

0:01:30 – Brian

I’ll start in April. Oh, I forgot all about that. I even have a little daily reminder, and he hasn’t asked no he hasn’t asked. Well then, why am? 

 

0:01:39 – Kayla

I filling this out because I haven’t missed a day. Okay, technically I think I missed yesterday. 

 

0:01:45 – Brian

Okay, see now. This is a perfect illustration of the difference between B and K. 

 

0:01:49 – Kayla

K is very detailed, and that is what I hoped was going to come out here. K is very detailed you seriously have not done March at all. I’ve not copied that over yet and Jesse has not asked. 

 

0:02:00 – Brian

No, because I’m killing myself in there. 

 

0:02:03 – Kayla

You are. We’ll come back to that, but. 

 

0:02:06 – Brian

I’ve not kept up with a single day. 

 

0:02:08 – Kayla

See, I guess we should explain what this is. In the morning we have certain habits that we can choose, like I am choosing to drink 20 ounces of pure water before 10 am, and then I’m choosing to do that again between 10 and 2. And then after 4, I am weaving in some like healthy vitamins. I’m choosing to do that again between 10 and 2, and then after 4,. I am weaving in some healthy vitamins. I’m journaling. I’m reading one chapter a day for leadership or personal growth. 

 

0:02:34 – Brian

What are you journaling? 

 

0:02:35 – Kayla

You just journal your thoughts. I keep a gratitude journal. I sometimes write down thoughts about the day I ain’t got time for that. Well, obviously you ain’t got time to fill out a habit tracker. 

 

0:02:48 – Brian

Well, mine had. I can’t remember what mine had on it. It was like drink water, but I can’t. 

 

0:02:55 – Kayla

But we do like a weekly snack budget or bucket, sorry, not well, we do budget for it, but we keep a snack bucket. We keep a fruit bucket, budget for it, but we keep a snack bucket. We keep a fruit bucket. It’s just weaving in some new habits so that if we are hungry you will go get a fruit bowl instead of we don’t keep crackers and chips and it’s very sad our pantry is very sad so, but our fridge is very happy, well, so yeah, what are we doing this weekend? 

 

0:03:28 – Brian

Oh Well, I know that this is so if people need to feel better about themselves oh. Oh, we’re taking down the Christmas tree. 

 

0:03:36 – Kayla

We are. 

 

0:03:38 – Brian

But I still like it being out. 

 

0:03:39 – Kayla

Well, it’s a winter tree. We turned it into a winter, but it’s spring. It’s officially spring. 

 

0:03:45 – Brian

I’m in a hoodie today. 

 

0:03:46 – Kayla

It is cold outside, but still Okay. So it’s coming down. For those of you who may feel like you’re behind in life, you’re not. 

 

0:03:54 – Brian

I’ll get to see the right corner of the TV for the first time in like 120 days. 

 

0:03:59 – Kayla

That’d be pretty awesome For the record. You are the one that asked me to leave the tree up. I am you. You are the record. 

 

0:04:04 – Brian

You are the one that asked me to leave the trio. I am, you are. I don’t mean I can’t complain about it. Just because I like it doesn’t mean I’m not going to complain about it. 

 

0:04:10 – Kayla

So there was a moment this morning. 

 

0:04:12 – Brian

Here we go. 

 

0:04:15 – Kayla

You have really I’ve got to brag on you. You have really stepped up with your workouts. You braved going to our trainer and telling him I need more, I need more intensity. 

 

0:04:25 – Brian

I’m down like 104 pounds you are. I’m down another pant size, but there was a very funny moment this morning. I’m on this exercise bike. I normally do like two miles and I’m at like 40 RPM. Okay, and that’s comfortable for me, I’ll do that. Well, he’s been challenging me to like really step up the pace. 

 

0:04:47 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:04:48 – Brian

So I went walking and I walked a mile and I cut six minutes off my one minute mile. Then I got on that bike and he’s like all right, let’s just crank it up. Well, I went as hard as I could. I had that mug up to like 54, 55 RPM and I went like over half a mile, like 0.6, almost overheated and I used that phrase. 

 

0:05:11 – Kayla

And this is how she, You’re not a car Well. 

 

0:05:18 – Brian

I started seeing stars. That’s the only phrase I could come up with. Overheated. Well yes, I mean that’s the best word I could come up with overheated. Well, yes, I mean that’s the best word I could come up with. And so I crawled off that bike and I’m sitting there on the box and Jesse, our trainer, comes up. He says you OK? I said no, I almost overheated. Then he got tickled and started laughing at me and that kind of stuff. But it’s working. I’ll say that I mean. 

 

0:05:42 – Kayla

You’re doing great. In all seriousness, you are pushing yourself so hard. 

 

0:05:47 – Brian

As are you and I can see the results. 

 

0:05:50 – Kayla

I really can. You’re feeling good about yourself. You had to buy some new blue jeans. 

 

0:05:55 – Brian

And a new belt. 

 

0:05:56 – Kayla

Even suspenders weren’t cutting it anymore. 

 

0:05:58 – Brian

So and your clothes are looking great, I mean you always do look classy. 

 

0:06:05 – Kayla

Oh, you’re very kind, but I did have to go down a size in all my pants. 

 

0:06:10 – Brian

And yeah. 

 

0:06:11 – Kayla

So, Finally from our cabbage patch. 

 

0:06:15 – Brian

Can I just say something? I am proud of myself, I’m proud of you, but y’all, we can’t walk or move in the evenings. Heating pads and Advil, and the next morning is just awful. 

 

0:06:26 – Kayla

We just grunt and groan. 

 

0:06:27 – Brian

Snap, crackle, pop when you get up. 

 

0:06:31 – Kayla

Many have asked. 

 

0:06:33 – Brian

Yes. 

 

0:06:34 – Kayla

How is my hip doing, and thank you to all who have asked. I can tell you when a front’s coming, so I do still have some fluid on my hip. It’s not as large, it’s not as pronounced, I guess, is the word I’m looking for. That’s a good word. And sitting for long periods is not as painful as it was. But I’m not ready to sign up for a marathon just yet. But hey, guess what it’s going to rain tomorrow. My hip tells me. 

 

0:07:05 – Brian

Kayla “the weathervane” Sanders. You had a conversation with a friend the other night about supporting one another in like ministry, because her and her husband are in ministry and we’re in ministry together, and that’s what led to this topic. Okay, yeah. So from there, why don’t you kind of ease us into this topic a little bit? 

 

0:07:34 – Kayla

Well, you and I have had this conversation several times over the last few months, but it did come up and it got me to thinking. What does it look like to support each other and to show up for each other in a relationship? Now, yes, this can be friendship, this can be family, this can be marriage. We are going to spend a good portion of the time talking about marriage, because we’re talking about B and K and how we do this for each other, or I guess I should say pea and carrot. There we go, but okay, it feels really weird to refer to yourself as vegetable. But anyway, what we’ve come to realize is that we are each other’s biggest fan, and so we want to unpack that and spend a little time For me, one of the first things I want to share I could not have navigated the career that I’ve had without your full and unwavering support. 

 

0:08:35 – Brian

And you’ll always have it, always. I feel like that’s part of the reason why God made me. That’s my role as a husband. That’s what I’m supposed to do. I’m supposed to cheer you, I’m supposed to support you. So, yeah, you will always have it For me. I could not be the leader I am without your willingness to be a sounding board and to hold a mirror up to me to show me who I really am, because I am very naive. I believe the best about people and I believe the best about me, and that’s part of my broken. So I need you to hold up a mirror sometimes. Say B, do you see this? 

 

0:09:17 – Kayla

Yeah, that also comes with caution, though. There are times when, as a spouse, if your person is really struggling, that may not be the time to hold up the mirror, just even if you know that there’s something that needs to be addressed, as with all things, kind of read the room on when you might need to. I did not say that, but I do try to be very careful. If you’ve had a really tough week and it’s come with a lot of hits, I’m probably not going to like pile on at that moment. 

 

0:09:54 – Brian

So pile on spaghetti and meat sauce. 

 

0:09:58 – Kayla

We just had lunch, but does that matter? We’re no, it’s time. 

 

0:10:02 – Brian

We’re hungry all the time now. 

 

0:10:05 – Kayla

This may be an unpopular opinion, but neither of our careers is superior to the other. We aren’t threatened by how God’s using the other or blessing the other, and there have been seasons where it feels like God has given a bounty to you in what you’re doing. And then there have been seasons where I’ve been the receiver of good gifts and we’re not the couple that one outshines the other. 

 

0:10:37 – Brian

So, building on that, let me say this we are each other’s advocates. 

 

0:10:40 – Kayla

Yeah. 

 

0:10:41 – Brian

We don’t compete, you know. 

 

0:10:44 – Kayla

I am your biggest cheerleader and you are mine. 

 

0:10:46 – Brian

Yes, so let me so let me say this. It’s a huge flaw of mine. Whenever you’re venting to me or you’re sharing your heart, I oftentimes want to recommend solutions, and if I had a $10 bill for every time that you’ve said to me baby, just listen. 

 

0:11:09 – Kayla

I’m not asking you to fix anything. We could retire tomorrow. 

 

0:11:14 – Brian

We could retire tomorrow. But I got these great solutions, but for you, you just need to get this stuff off your heart, yeah. 

 

0:11:22 – Kayla

I have learned to say up front though, I’m not looking for a solution. 

 

0:11:28 – Brian

How’s that working out? 

 

0:11:29 – Kayla

It’s gotten better. 

 

You have you really have gotten better at? Just I can tell you’re twitching a little bit because you just really want to fix it, but you are trying just to listen and not go in. But that’s one of your strengths as a leader is you’re a problem solver and you are a fixer. But sometimes I’m coming to you as a spouse and I’ve even said that, haven’t I? I’ve said to you B, I’m coming to you as K, not as one of your team members right now, and so that helps. There are seasons we have both seen this where I may need to carry more of the load at home due to outside work, and there are seasons where you may need to carry more of the work at home. 

 

0:12:15 – Brian

Okay, and speaking of, let me just say this, let me just say this up front. This, let me just say this up front the only way I can carry more of the load at home is like by helping to cook with food and cooking pick up dinner why don’t you wash clothes b? This has been over 30 years ago. Okay, I think you can trust me now nope what did you use? Too much of bleach and it put white splotches all over my clothes my clothes. I thought this happened before we got married. 

 

0:12:44 – Kayla

Oh, you tried this. You also shrunk one of my wool sweaters and it fit my friend’s four-year-old daughter. 

 

0:12:50 – Brian

I think that was somebody else, but I can cook and go pick up food. 

 

0:12:53 – Kayla

What else do you try to keep clean for us? 

 

0:12:55 – Brian

My bathroom. But there’s a definition, there’s a moving definition of clean. 

 

0:13:03 – Kayla

Yeah, but here’s the thing We’ve learned that it’s a privilege to come alongside each other and show tangible ways to be a support in busy times. It’s not like there’s this job description that we stick rigidly to, especially in busy seasons, I agree. 

 

0:13:21 – Brian

Now I in busy seasons, I agree. Now I do not wash clothes. No, I wash dishes. But if I wash them, I rewash them. 

 

0:13:32 – Kayla

Well, sometimes you just use that little wand and you haven’t put any soap on it. 

 

0:13:37 – Brian

There is soap in the wand. 

 

0:13:39 – Kayla

No, there’s not anyway. 

 

0:13:41 – Brian

All right, moving on. 

 

0:13:42 – Kayla

Back. There’s not, anyway, all right. Moving on back to the cheerleader. You have always been my biggest cheerleader because you challenge me when I embrace negative self-talk. You encourage me when I’m trying something new or scary, and you know my tells, you know what’s going on when I’m scared or when I’m afraid to take a risk. You offer help without expecting to receive the credit or the spotlight, although I am quick to give shout outs when you do. 

 

0:14:09 – Brian

That’s a very big gift of yours. 

 

0:14:10 – Kayla

But you can tell when I’m stuck. 

 

0:14:14 – Brian

Yes. 

 

0:14:15 – Kayla

And so you will cheer me on. This is the big thing here. You don’t allow me to give up or walk away from something. 

 

0:14:23 – Brian

You will make me stick it out because you see my potential and you want me to live into it yeah, there’s nothing I’m so grateful for that there’s nothing because I’ve done a lot of stuff scared I mean, you have embraced what god has given you and there’s nothing worse than walking away from that. 

 

0:14:42 – Kayla

Well, I had a great teacher, and he’s sitting across from me. 

 

0:14:46 – Brian

Let me just say this is that Kay is my rock and she steadies me. You speak life to me because I can spiral pretty quick. I can get very, I can get very down. I doubt myself so much and my personality type is that I will take care of everybody else but I’m going to ignore myself and you make sure that Brian gets taken care of. So thank you for that. I mean that, thank you. 

 

0:15:16 – Kayla

So the bottom line is this A relationship based on genuine love is one in which you’re constantly dying to yourself, and what that looks like is it’s easy to fall into that trap that I am more important than you are, my needs are more important than you are, my career is more important than you are. When you love a person and you see them as made in the image of Christ, you choose to cherish them and put them first. 

 

0:15:45 – Brian

I could not agree more. And scripture even says to husbands to love your wife, as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her. In other words, I’m supposed to even be willing to give up my life for you, and I do that in certain circumstances. Okay. 

 

0:16:06 – Kayla

On that note. 

 

0:16:07 – Brian

I’m kidding. In any circumstance, I believe that that’s my calling and that’s what I’m supposed to do, and I just want to say this baby, thank you for believing in me and supporting me. 

 

0:16:17 – Kayla

Right back at you. 

 

0:16:21 – Brian

Well, this should be fun, Just a few random facts about us. Okay. 

 

0:16:27 – Kayla

I hate to drive oh. 

 

0:16:29 – Brian

I don’t mind driving, I don’t mind taking you places. 

 

0:16:32 – Kayla

It is a necessary evil for me Now. You don’t want me driving after dark. I have night vision issues. 

 

0:16:40 – Brian

And let me say this and if it’s like more than two or three turns, I will take you, because you get prone to get. 

 

0:16:48 – Kayla

I won’t come back to that one. It might be on my list. 

 

0:16:51 – Brian

I hate to be bored. 

 

0:16:52 – Kayla

Oh, my goodness, yes. 

 

0:16:54 – Brian

I like to be entertained, which? 

 

0:16:56 – Kayla

is part of why you read so much, I think, because it gives you something to do. 

 

0:17:00 – Brian

Yeah, but I can’t read so much, I think, because it gives you something to do. Yeah, but I can’t stand, I cannot stand to be bored. I need to have a show, a book. There needs to be a person talking to me, yep. Or like this morning when I got up oh my gosh 4.30 in the morning. 

 

0:17:16 – Kayla

Ok, no, I had to go to the bathroom. No, I just need to get this out? 

 

0:17:21 – Brian

No, I looked out the window, and what? 

 

0:17:27 – Kayla

do I see there where your flowers are planted around the mailbox? Do I need to know at 430 in the morning that deer are eating my plant?

 

0:17:32 – Brian

Kay, come here, come look at this. I peeped my head. I said, kay, I was whispering. 

 

0:17:37 – Kayla

It doesn’t matter that you were whispering what it’s 430 in the morning I said come look, anyway, moving on. 

 

0:17:45 – Brian

If it’d been a bear, you’d have come look, wouldn’t you, mm-mm, not at 4.30. 

 

0:17:48 – Kayla

Really, go with God, bear Zombies. 

 

0:17:52 – Brian

Nope, okay. 

 

0:17:54 – Kayla

I love gardening, but I’m known for killing houseplants. 

 

0:17:58 – Brian

Houseplant assassin right here. Now you’ve got this one in the kitchen. That’s just going nuts. 

 

0:18:03 – Kayla

I ignore it, I do. It has beautiful sunlight where it sits and I basically just pour leftover water from the coffee pot on it Now each week I’m going to say something I’ve thought for years. 

 

0:18:15 – Brian

You know, every week we go to Kroger and we grocery shop and your first stop is a little flower section. You’ll buy a couple of bouquets of flowers. You ever wonder if those flowers are like screaming their guts out because they’ve been cut. Like you know, they’ve been cut off from their life source and all those bouquets are just going because they’re just sitting there legless. No, that doesn’t cross your mind. 

 

0:18:41 – Kayla

Moving on. Speaking of flowers. 

 

0:18:44 – Brian

But you love flowers? I do, and you do too. But you have a confession here. I love looking at them, but I could care less if I plant them.

 

0:18:52 – Kayla

Well, that’s why we get them. 

 

0:18:55 – Brian

I remember that we used to down in New Orleans. We planned this little garden. We put tomatoes and beans and peas and that’s about eight weeks in I realized I could walk over to the grocery store and spend five dollars and buy more than what this is producing. So no, I’m not into that. That’s just me. But I know that that makes you happy, happy, yes. 

 

0:19:16 – Kayla

In conjunction with my fear not fear of driving, I just hate driving. I do have an irrational fear of getting lost. When we go somewhere new, I have to remind myself. There are apps with maps. I can find my way home, but I am not good in situations where I don’t know where we’re going. And again, I have a tell you can figure out and you’ll assure me that everything’s good. 

 

0:19:43 – Brian

You know where we are Start taking that little hand, scratching that little head. Oh, just like this, Just sitting there scratching it. I know I said okay, we’ve entered. I struggle with having nightmares. 

 

0:19:55 – Kayla

And. 

 

0:19:55 – Brian

I have them probably twice a week. I’m part of the 3% of Americans who actually struggle with this. 

 

0:20:01 – Kayla

We have learned, though it’s your brain doing what? 

 

0:20:04 – Brian

Processing? Processing things, yeah, and the way it does, that is through nightmares occasionally and I’ve been the doctor and therapist that kind of stuff. 

 

0:20:12 – Kayla

So okay, I’m going to go ahead and apologize for this. Oh, okay, I’m going to go ahead and apologize for this. Nothing makes me crazier than reply all email threads. I’m sorry. I get that they are sometimes necessary, but I would prefer to reply personally to people. And yet then comes the next person who hits reply all and yet then comes the next person who hits reply all, and then I feel like a heel because people think I’m never responding but I am I’m typically doing it one-on-one, though, so okay, well, I’m not a fan of email overall I know you’re not 

 

but I mean, if it has more than four lines, I’m click delete I have to tell you the beginning in the end or the middle, because you read the beginning and the end. 

 

0:20:59 – Brian

I hate email. I hate entering my password using a TV remote control. 

 

0:21:07 – Kayla

So like when Netflix signs itself out or your Apple TV goes down. 

 

0:21:12 – Brian

It is the dumbest thing. But my anger level can go from zero to 60 in one second. I mean I am down the highway. I get so upset about that. It’s the dumbest thing. But my anger level can go from zero to 60 in one second. I mean I am down the highway. 

 

0:21:21 – Kayla

I get so upset about that First world problems that we live with. 

 

0:21:23 – Brian

Create something that will read I mean, MacBook has it, apple has it. You just read your fingerprint. Do that with that remote. I feel better now. 

 

0:21:33 – Kayla

Okay, kind of like me with the emails, All right. So one thing about my personality. I’ll end with this. I can present myself as very stoic. Hello, I’m British, but I feel things very deeply and. I care very personally, you do, so those two things can often kind of seem contradictory. 

 

0:21:54 – Brian

I’ll say this is that sometimes the outside doesn’t match the inside. I was a compliment, oh okay. I mean, you appear very stoic, but you’ve got a lot happening. 

 

0:22:07 – Kayla

There’s a lot going on. 

 

0:22:08 – Brian

Yeah, yeah. 

 

0:22:10 – Kayla

But I was taught you know stiff upper lip. 

 

0:22:12 – Brian

Yeah, that’s that British in you, but on the inside, I may be like in tears. 

 

0:22:17 – Kayla

Yeah, whereas for me it’s all out there, baby okay, that was a little what’s your last one. 

 

0:22:23 – Brian

You did not have to answer that so quickly I didn’t say I don’t like it about you no, but you answered it just like that boom. Okay, I’m sorry no, you’re not read your last I’m loud revelation about yourself I’m loud, I’m boisterous and it’s usually a shield to get you to like or even accept me and usually to help you look past my size no and let you see me as a person now. I’m not going to change who I am. 

 

0:22:51 – Kayla

I’m loud, I’m boisterous you’re a roaming party is what I call you. 

 

0:22:57 – Brian

But these days I got to be home by 830. 

 

0:23:00 – Kayla

Party’s got to end on time. Party’s got to end about 8:30. Okay, good to know so there’s that, hey. 

 

0:23:05 – Brian

It’s been our joy to spend this time with you and we’d like to give you a coffee mug and a pack of stickers and news. There’s a bunch more peas and carrots swag coming our way. 

 

0:23:17 – Kayla

There is, so stay tuned. But the first two people who go to our website and answer our trivia question, you will win a peas and carrots coffee mug, some stickers and apparently some of you are getting pens. Oh, and that was a very funny story that fell out this week Our dear friend Adam he’s my executive assistant. 

 

This is a teaser he and his wife will be joining our podcast soon. Yes, Adam actually includes a pen for the Encouraging Radio brand, which is part of our PAR family, right, well, someone thought that they accidentally got a pen. 

 

0:23:52 – Brian

So hey, are y’all missing a pen by accident? 

 

0:23:54 – Kayla

So nope, the pen was purposeful, it was there. A pen by accident? So nope, the pen was purposeful, it was there. But if you will click our website, yeah, you go to peasandcarrotspodcast.com. 

 

0:24:03 – Brian

Click on the trivia button and answer this question. 

 

0:24:07 – Kayla

Share with us one random fact about yourself. 

 

0:24:10 – Brian

Now look, please don’t put on there like how many moles or warts you got. 

 

0:24:15 – Kayla

Or you killed somebody in 1985. Right, we don’t need that, we don’t need to know that, but just one random fact about yourself. 

 

0:24:23 – Brian

So you go to peasandcarrotspodcast.com. 

 

0:24:25 – Kayla

Click that trivia button and you can win. Answer that question. You’ll win a coffee mug and some stickers and a pen. 

 

0:24:31 – Brian

So thanks for listening. Hey, you can search the Peas and Parrots. 

 

0:24:37 – Kayla

Peas and Carrots Podcast wherever you get your podcast or visit our website peasandcarrotspodcast.com and, when you do, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast. You can follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast.

 

0:24:54 – Brian

Peas and parrots. 

 

0:24:55 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Growing through the challenges we face and finding hope along the way. That’s the Jesus Fix It Podcast with Jess. Check out jesusfixit.com or search Jesus Fix It wherever you listen to podcasts. 

 

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Season 3, Episode 9: Fix-ated on That

Fix-ated on That - Episode Description

Join us on this week’s Peas and Carrots Podcast as we kick things off with a light-hearted utensil tussle – are you Team Spoon or Team Knife when it comes to spreading mayonnaise? But it’s not all fun and games; we also share our personal takeaways from a month-long habit tracker. Discover the highs and lows of maintaining good habits, the quest to include more greens in our diet, and our heartfelt encounter with a newborn member of our church community. Plus, we debate the pros and cons of daylight saving time and share a few laughs over nocturnal phone screen shenanigans.

Listen in as we explore the complexities of faith in the professional realm. We open up about our own spiritual journey and how it’s shaped our approach to ministry work. The conversation takes a turn towards the profound as we discuss the necessity of grace in both ministry and relationships, focusing on the essential beliefs that unite Christians while extending a circle of grace to the varied interpretations of non-essential doctrines. And let’s not forget to touch upon the role of Old Testament laws and the true path to salvation through Jesus’s sacrifice – it’s a reminder to avoid judgment and embrace compassion.

Finally, ready your ears for a delightful linguistic jaunt as we compare the quirks of British and American English. From attempting (and failing) to nail British accents to deciphering terms like ‘trolley’ and ‘dummy’, this episode is a linguistic treat. Wrap up with us as we chuckle over classic British phrases and their American counterparts, all while paying homage to the cultural staples that make each version of English uniquely charming. So grab your headphones and a cuppa, and prepare for an episode that’s as cozy as mismatched socks on a chilly day.

Fix-ated on That - Transcript
0:00:00 – Announcer
We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders.
 
0:00:11 – Kayla
Welcome to the Peas and Carrots Podcast. Hey, I’m Brian and I’m Kayla.
 
0:00:15 – Brian
Good to have you. We have two new friends in the studio with us.
 
0:00:18 – Kayla
We do, it’s actually you surprised me with this.
 
0:00:22 – Brian
I did and it’s a pea and a carrot.
 
0:00:25 – Kayla
They’re stuffed toys. Yeah, we should clarify, not like literally. We have a pea and a carrot.
 
0:00:33 – Brian
Okay, but I got them from Hallmark. They’re so cute and I brought you one of them and you they have magnets, so they like. So you see, we go together like peas and carrots there you go, we’ll share a picture. So yeah, we will. Yeah, it says better together peas and carrot. No, so what? How’s that go?
 
0:00:56 – Kayla
Yeah.
 
0:00:57 – Brian
All right, before we move on, there’s a word that you have been using that has spread throughout the PAR team now, and I’d like to confront you in the spirit.
 
0:01:07 – Kayla
Oh, really? Well, that’s just tomfoolery.
 
0:01:11 – Brian
That’s the word. Yep, I know which word it was. Okay.
 
0:01:13 – Kayla
I’m not apologizing for it. Why? Because sometimes it fits, it just does so. You asked the PAR team. Yes, you are making them choose to give up one, and it’s between bread and rice and pasta and potato, yep. And so I told you this is tomfoolery, I’m not doing it, and someone else agreed so.
 
0:01:39 – Brian
It’s just a great word, Tom. What’s it mean? Like foolishness, but oh yeah, How’d tom get in there? Well, I don’t know. Bless him, I don’t understand.
 
0:01:49 – Kayla
Speaking of PAR.
 
0:01:50 – Brian
Yes.
 
0:01:51 – Kayla
We had the joy of spending this past week with our leadership team, doing some planning and dreaming, and there’s a lot of fun.
 
0:01:59 – Brian
There’s a lot of fun, the best leadership team we’ve ever had. We just love people of character, wisdom, patience. They put up with me big dreams, oh big dreams, and I’m thankful for them. We had great laughs, great meals. We did so. One of our Adam McCain, who’s my number one. One had COVID so he had to zoom in. He said he felt fine the whole time he looked like he felt okay, yeah, so, but you know, covet as Doug Day said, said man day two of COVID, your hair looks great.
 
I’ll never forget that. So okay, Miss Kayla, who’s also known as Al Roker, you’re keeping track of the weather.
 
0:02:41 – Kayla
Well, if we are keeping track, yes. We’re on our fifth fake spring in the new what is fake spring? So fake spring is. We’ll have like two days that are cold and Windy and rainy, and then here comes this beautiful blue sky day with 65 70 degrees. And then, just when we get like lulled into the thought that it’s spring, here comes another cold and windy and rainy day and I mean, aren’t we gonna be in like the 20s?
 
0:03:09 – Brian
Next week we’ll have some highs. They’re like 73 and then and then there’s a couple of nights where it’s like 29.
 
0:03:16 – Kayla
That’s crazy. So yeah, but I will say this the trees are starting to look beautiful, all the pink blossoms, so I want to handle this in a public form. Again. I want you.
 
0:03:27 – Brian
This is twice I want you to prepare your heart that next week we’ll have to turn on the air conditioner.
 
0:03:32 – Kayla
Okay, okay, you think that’s gonna bother me right now. I Didn’t.
 
0:03:41 – Brian
Do you want to tell them why that’s not well, I think they could figure it out.
 
0:03:44 – Kayla
I’m 51 years old, so yeah, you’re gonna be the one looking for a sweater.
 
0:03:49 – Brian
Trust me, she loves to sit in her easy chair with this big thick blanket and we’ll be watching some show. All of a sudden, out of the corner of my eye, I see a blanket sling across room.
 
0:04:01 – Kayla
Okay, you might be over sharing.
 
0:04:02 – Brian
I’m not baby. Are you warm? Little bit!
 
0:04:07 – Kayla
Can’t help it.
 
0:04:08 – Brian
So all right.
 
0:04:09 – Kayla
Big news, big news. Somebody has a birthday this week.
 
0:04:15 – Brian
Mm-hmm.
 
0:04:16 – Kayla
And it’s not me.
 
0:04:18 – Brian
It’s me, yay. I will turn 56 on March 15th, four years from 60.
 
0:04:27 – Kayla
Yeah, I may have stepped off it at the other day.
 
0:04:29 – Brian
Yeah, we were talking and I said, baby, can you believe I won’t be 56? And what was your response?
 
0:04:35 – Kayla
Oh, my gosh 56?. Yeah, that’s, exactly.
 
0:04:38 – Brian
And see in my head, I’m like that’s 19 years from being 75. I’m like I’m really having, oh my goodness, no, I’m really struggling. No, I think it’s awesome. I don’t know if I’ll make it 75, but we’ll see.
 
0:04:49 – Kayla
Yes, you will. I hope you will. So happy birthday, B. Thank you, darling, love you. Let’s fix that.
 
0:04:58 – Brian
Well, it seems some tape or some glue to fix this.
 
0:05:01 – Kayla
No, this isn’t the kind of thing that calls for super glue or duct tape. It’s so tempting for all of us to want to jump in and fix a problem or rescue someone, and that’s not always a bad thing, but it’s also not always ours to do. And I think of parenting. Not that we’ve experienced that we had a dog and we’ve got stories but sometimes leadership compares to this, would you agree?
 
0:05:31 – Brian
100%, because you see people struggle, people that you love, who struggle and they might struggle with this decision or they might struggle with this area, and you want to step in and you want to rescue them.
 
0:05:44 – Kayla
Yeah, and you have leaders come to you often addressing this and sharing that they just don’t know if they should jump in or if they should sit back, or and there are times we are meant to take a step back and let other people figure things out- I think that there’s an old adage that says that you try to keep children away from touching a hot stove. Yeah, but if they ever, what’s the best way they’re going to learn?
 
0:06:10 – Brian
Well, you know, the first time they touch it, I guarantee you they’re never going to touch it again. Yeah, I guess this is the principle that you have to let people fail.
 
0:06:20 – Kayla
Yeah.
 
0:06:20 – Brian
You have. Even and this is for me as a leader, because I have a lot of people who work for me you have to let them fail, and sometimes I want to be embarrassed like this looks poorly on me, well, okay, but is them learning a lesson more important than my personal pride? Who? And I think the answer to that has to be a yes, because it’s not about me, it’s about, I mean, think about this. Let’s look at this from, like, Jesus’s perspective. He’s looking down from heaven. Well, that one there just went off rails. He’s letting us fail so that we can grow.
 
0:07:04 – Kayla
Yeah, we’ll come back to that. I think of a child when they’re learning to walk, to tie their shoes, work a puzzle, manage their school schedule as they get into like middle school and high school. You want to prepare them for college and for, like time management and all those things. Basically, being a good human, be responsible, and it’s the same with leading teams or with managing home life, as you said. Sometimes we really have to ask ourselves. So that’s what we’re going to do. We’re going to look at a series of things that we’ve considered in this, and you alluded to one when you talked about is it our pride and what was it?
 
0:07:48 – Brian
you said about that. Yeah, I mean, sometimes it is that we don’t want this person to fail, especially at something that we have purview over, because we’re afraid it’s going to make us look bad as a leader.
 
And yet I’ve seen or as a parent, or as a parent or grandparent, and so we want to actually rescue them when really the best thing we can do is to let them fail and they will learn the lesson. So somebody else’s failure isn’t your failure, and you have to be willing to let people fail so that they can grow. I think the book of James says that you have to endure things so that your character grows.
 
0:08:31 – Kayla
Perhaps we’re more concerned, if we’re really honest, about our comfort or our ease, and Resisting the urge to jump in creates this anxiety for all of us. But that doesn’t necessarily mean we should overstep now. Okay, someone is going to say, but they could get hurt. Well, we get that. Of course, there are times that you are going to jump in somebody.
 
0:08:56 – Brian
Jump out of an airplane without a parachute. You’re you might want to rescue them.
 
0:09:00 – Kayla
I’m saying this is just stuff that if they’re learning how to navigate life, if they’re learning how to manage money, learning how to do a budget, learning how to care for others, or something like that to manage their projects, to Get their homework done, if they’re in high school or college or Nobody was following me around in college saying make sure you show up for class on time and make sure that you get your homework done and write that paper and those are skills that parents teach while their kids are at home in, hopefully, in middle school and high school, so that when you do release them to the big wide world they can cope. And it’s hard when you are Coming alongside someone who is in their own struggle because sometimes the reality is they did not have someone in their life that was doing that for them when they were growing up.
 
0:09:59 – Brian
I like what you said, that we’re more concerned about our own comfort and ease, and this is what I’m thinking. If this person fails, if this person drops the ball on this, or if this kid does this over here, yeah, is that going to create more work for me, is that going to create more Anxiety for me? And so that’s a temptation To want to step in and rescue them, yeah, so that I don’t have more stuff to do back here and there. Again, you have to count the cost. What’s more important? Yeah, your own comfort.
 
Hmm or this person learning lesson. I’m gonna go on record and say I like to be comfortable you do so.
 
0:10:43 – Kayla
I’m gonna let you take the next one, okay.
 
0:10:50 – Brian
We’re gonna skip this one. No, yes, we are. We’re gonna say. Are we coming from a place of impatience rather than resting God’s timeline? I’m a very such a patient baby. Stop it Now, that’s fine. I’m gonna hurt being cared over here. Oh, I Am a very impatient man. There’s a famous phrase in par that if Brian wants something done, when did he want it done?
 
0:11:14 – Kayla
Yesterday, yesterday.
 
0:11:15 – Brian
I have tried to grow in that and there’s a principle that I try to follow I want to be patient with accomplishing the mission. I want to be impatient with the task that will do that. So the first one is oh. The second one, oh Say a lot. And so this is where I am in this. I’m an imperfect man, I’m an impatient man and I often do not rest in God’s timeline.
 
A lot of us are guilty of that and there’s a piece of me oh, I hate to admit this there’s a piece of me that believes that leaders and parents and school teachers and employers that God’s using us to develop character in others. Now, that doesn’t give me a blank check To make somebody’s life miserable yeah, something like that but it does mean that I have the right to push them a little bit.
 
0:12:24 – Kayla
Sure.
 
0:12:24 – Brian
So am I impatient.
 
0:12:27 – Kayla
Yes, it’s learning when it’s the time to do that.
 
0:12:31 – Brian
To be impatient?
 
0:12:32 – Kayla
Yeah, and I mean not everything can be hurry up, the world is burning kind of mentality. But there is a situation that may arise where and this is from kids on up to grown-ups that maybe someone is stuck and we need to help them get unstuck, or maybe they need an external motivation. I think of parents that you know if you get your room cleaned within 30 minutes, we’ll watch a movie tonight, or if you get your homework done, we’ll go get ice cream. Sometimes those are the external motivations you need, but to your point. I love this truth and it’s the image of how Jesus is with us. He will put us in situations that are meant to prune us and grow us, and that’s on him to do that. We may feel like he’s gone silent at times, because he’s not necessarily the one like nagging at us, or we can feel like he’s just gone really quiet in our lives, but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t care. He’s always there and nothing is outside of his plan, but sometimes he’s just letting us walk through it.
 
0:13:48 – Brian
Yes, god never leaves you, he never forsakes you.
 
He’s there all the time, but you may not be able to feel him at the time, and so he lets you experience that, in hopes that it will drive you even closer to him and hopefully that will actually grow us. That leads into how opposite we are as like leaders and also parents, because there used to be a term called helicopter parents and now there’s a phrase called lawnmower parents, so the helicopter parent used to be referred to as the one that was constantly like swirling around making sure that nothing got dropped knowing when to jump in and rescue.
 
0:14:30 – Kayla
Well, now the term lawnmower parent comes, and we may have referenced this before this drive to like push ahead of your child or push ahead of your team members so that you clear the path and make it smooth for them.
 
0:14:44 – Brian
And there’s no burden.
 
0:14:45 – Kayla
Well, I hope you’ve got all the time in the world to do that for the rest of your life if that’s what you’re doing, because A little spicy there, but it’s okay. I cringe when I see parents or leaders or other people doing this. You’ve got to give people the freedom to figure things out, and if we’re constantly running in front of someone to either clear the way for them or rescue them, what happens when you’re gone?
 
0:15:14 – Brian
I am trying to grow a group of leaders who can step in on the day I either die or I retire. That’s where the sits. You have to prepare for what’s next.
 
0:15:26 – Kayla
Well, I’m going to go for the mic drop moment here, Because this may sound like it’s all about pointing the finger, and to assure you that it’s not for all of us. May we all be so focused on ways we need to grow that we aren’t hyper-focused on things we feel the need to fix in others.
 
0:15:47 – Brian
Say that again. That’s powerful.
 
0:15:49 – Kayla
May we be so focused on ways that we need to grow that we aren’t hyper-focused on things we feel that we need to fix in others, Because there’s that whole passage in Scripture about the speck in your brother’s eyes. That’s exactly what I was thinking yes, and the plank in your own, and it’s easy to overlook the things that we need to be working on by distracting ourselves with. Well, if I fix this and I fix this, let the focus be what God’s doing in me, not what he needs to do in someone else.
 
0:16:27 – Brian
Well, you’re done going to preach it now, and you’re 100% right, Miss Kayla. I mean because if we don’t, then that leads to self-righteousness and everything else Self-topic, but one that we need to wrestle to the ground often. Hey, hi, hi, we got a letter, we got a letter.
 
0:16:51 – Kayla
Is it Blue’s Clues? We just got a letter. We just got a letter. You’ve never seen that. You’re looking at me like I’m crazy. Okay, we are now watching Blue’s Clues, okay.
 
0:17:01 – Brian
Okay, all right, I’m bringing Godzilla in for this segment.
 
0:17:04 – Kayla
No, why we went from Blue’s Clues to Godzilla.
 
0:17:08 – Brian
You had Pea and Carrot on here earlier it’s Peas and Carrots Day. Yes, but we have. But we got Godzilla here today.
 
0:17:15 – Kayla
Back to the topic at hand. We are absolutely blown away by how many people have taken time to engage with us over the last few months, and forgive us, we are not going to take the time to Thank each one individually, or we would be here all day. It would be fun, but you all have lots of other things to do. But we wanted to take a minute To say thank you for some of the texts and the cards and the emails and just share a few of those with you To Karen and Christiansburg, tina and Roanoke, dana in low gap and Kathy and Christiansburg.
 
We see you. Strasburg, Kathy didn’t move.
 
0:18:00 – Brian
Sorry, Kathy, you live in, you live in Strasburg. It’s gonna be tough. We see you with your preference for text messages.
 
0:18:08 – Kayla
Yes, we asked a question one week about and I mean overwhelming number of responses about phone calls versus text.
 
0:18:16 – Brian
Don’t call me text, because if I somebody calls me and that they say to me how you doing, you need what is my famous response.
 
0:18:24 – Kayla
Well, why is this not a text?
 
0:18:25 – Brian
Well, you know, this is my response. Well, I’m about to find out how I’m doing because you True, you called.
 
0:18:31 – Kayla
To Sharra in Waynesboro hey, Sharra, we to use FaceTime sometimes and we totally get why that can be a better option.
 
0:18:38 – Brian
I’m not a fan of it.
 
0:18:39 – Kayla
I get your anxiety over taking certain people’s phone calls. So FaceTime I have what. My best friend doesn’t live in town, so getting to FaceTime with her is one of the delights of my week or month, or we’re so busy now that it feels like it’s monthly, but yeah oh, you do you this next one is for you. Ron we need to talk.
 
0:19:03 – Brian
Okay, there’s a famous story in our marriage.
 
0:19:06 – Kayla
We shared it just recently about the pink blanket.
 
0:19:09 – Brian
Yes, and how, before we got married, it wasn’t pink anymore. You were getting the apartment ready.
 
0:19:15 – Kayla
I threw your pink blanket away. It was not so, Ron, it was beige, not pink, had a hole in it the size of my head. Okay, here we go again. So.
 
0:19:26 – Brian
Ron and blunt will respond and said I have a fuzzy, soft pink blanket. I lay on my couch and watch comedy shows or movies. Ron, you’re my favorite person.
 
0:19:36 – Kayla
You’re my new best friend. Okay, good, maybe Ron will share the pink blanket with you.
 
0:19:42 – Brian
No.
 
0:19:44 – Kayla
Sarah, thank you for your beautiful card and Donna, thank you for your kind email. We see you and thank you for sharing the moments that have really spoken to you.
 
0:19:55 – Brian
Yeah, so, and that card was really nice. I was blown away. It was a beautiful card a dawn. We are glad that you’re finding joy and and also in Finding community and what we share. So, and this is a big tent, I mean everybody, come on in, we’ll just sit down absolutely chicken together.
 
0:20:10 – Kayla
To all the friends who’ve shared book suggestions that grasp that Mayo should be spread with an eye, I’ll stop now.
 
0:20:17 – Brian
See, that’s not fair. Godzilla just got in the boat.
 
0:20:20 – Kayla
Oh did he? He did.
 
0:20:22 – Brian
We just discussed that a few weeks back. You spread may one time. I know it wasn’t a wonderful.
 
0:20:27 – Kayla
No, I wasted Mayo. We don’t have time for this. Waste me. To those who text us saying I can Totally see this happening to y’all, well, or thank you for being real. We appreciate you as well. We do and we love hearing from all of you. So yes, if you would like to win. Yes, a coffee mug or some stickers and we have some coming soon. We’re gonna have some new surprise and lights Well just go to our website, look for the trivia button.
 
0:20:59 – Brian
You go to peas and carrots podcast calm that’s our website, peas and carrots podcast calm and you click on the trivia button and you have to answer this question this week.
 
0:21:09 – Kayla
So our question this week is which is your favorite? Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets? As we’re coming into daylight savings time now, and some people are going to prefer the start of the day and some people are going to prefer the end of the day. So you used to be a night owl. I’ve become a morning person.
 
0:21:30 – Brian
Yeah.
 
0:21:30 – Kayla
I still don’t like people in the morning, but I like the mornings.
 
0:21:38 – Brian
It’s there one particular? Is there one particular people that gets on your nerves?
 
0:21:42 – Kayla
No, not just people in general before coffee, because I’m usually the only one in the house at that time of the morning. Well, but you don’t talk early in the morning, and if you do, I tell you what’s the rule about Lincoln stories.
 
0:21:52 – Brian
This morning, I got up and I asked about three or four questions and this head slowly turns. It’s about 4:15 this morning, “B it’s a little early for 20 questions.”
 
0:22:05 – Kayla
I hadn’t had a full cup of coffee. Anywho, we digress. Search peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Answer that trivia question and we will send you a mug and some stickers.
 
0:22:18 – Brian
She loves the stickers. She thinks they’re cute.
 
0:22:19 – Kayla
Oh, they’re absolutely adorable.
 
0:22:22 – Brian
Hey, thanks for listening, and you can search the Peas and Parrot…
 
0:22:25 – Kayla
Peas and Parrots… He needs some coffee.
 
0:22:29 – Brian
Peas and Carrots Podcast.
 
0:22:31 – Kayla
Wherever you get your podcast or visit our website peasandcarrotspodcast.com and when you do, please don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast.
 
0:22:39 – Brian
You can also follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast.
 
0:22:45 – Kayla
I blame Godzilla. You wouldn’t have said Parrots if he wasn’t sitting there.
 
0:22:49 – Brian
He is not bothering anybody.
 
0:22:51 – Kayla
Little bit.
 
0:22:51 – Brian
No! “A little bit…”
 
0:22:53 – Announcer
For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit peasandcarrotspodcast.com. Life’s not perfect. That’s why God gave us friends like Melody and Candi. Check out QuirksBumpsandBruises.com, or search Quirks, Bumps, and Bruises wherever you listen to podcasts.

 

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