Season 3, Episode 20: Here’s Your Sign

Can We Talk?
Here's Your Sign - Episode Description

Have you ever wondered why some people seem to come with their own set of caution labels? This week on the Peas and Carrots Podcast, we gear up for our much-anticipated vacation, sharing our quirky tradition of collecting crazy travel stories. Brian’s confessed addiction to Mexican food sparks a hilarious debate on the frequency and health implications of indulging in fajitas and chips. We also get nostalgic about the joy and immediate gratification of in-person shopping, lamenting the frustrations of the online retail world. To keep things interesting, we promise to return with some entertaining tales from our upcoming adventures.

Switching gears, we delve into the complexities of dealing with toxic individuals who should come with warning signs. From know-it-alls and drama magnets to the challenges of navigating political debates on social media, we share personal anecdotes and reflect on the importance of patience and self-preservation. We touch on the discomfort of family arguments and the draining nature of energy vampires while emphasizing the need for self-awareness and grace in our interactions. Wrapping up, we discuss the importance of embracing imperfections and finding laughter, inspired by a cherished father figure who taught us to stay grounded. Tune in for relatable discussions and plenty of laughs!

Here's Your Sign - Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 


0:00:11 – Kayla

Welcome to the peas and carrots podcast. I’m Brian and I’m Kayla. 


0:00:16 – Brian

Here we are, here we are. You are so excited. She is bouncing off the walls. Yeah, her smile is from ear to ear. Her eyes are even smiling. 


0:00:27 – Kayla

This is my last official. 


0:00:29 – Brian

Full day. 


0:00:31 – Kayla

Well, I was going to say project oh, on my task list. 


0:00:35 – Brian



0:00:36 – Kayla

Before vacation. I mean, it is our last official full day before vacation, but yeah, so spoiler, we are recording ahead yes but yeah, we’re getting ready to leave in a few days on vacation but flying out of here, so we will have stories. You are a crazy magnet, so if anything crazy is going to happen, you attract it, so stay. That’s hurtful. It’s truthful, okay. Well, there’s just gravity. Tell me someone who would say that’s wrong. B you come back with the best stories from vacations. 


0:01:14 – Brian

I think I have, because I’m such a large body, I have gravity and it attracts people to me, so I think that’s what’s going on. I need to make a confession. 


0:01:26 – Kayla



0:01:26 – Brian

Okay, and this is a big deal for me. I want everybody, okay, to sit down. Okay, I’m addicted to Mexican food. Okay, you thought? 


0:01:38 – Kayla

I was going to do something. I wasn’t sure where we were going there, fajitas, and how is that a problem I’m trying to understand. 


0:01:46 – Brian

Enchiladas. What is that thing we get when we go Fajitas? 


0:01:49 – Kayla

We do fajitas for two Chicken. 


0:01:53 – Brian

But I could eat. How often per week could you eat Mexican food? 


0:01:57 – Kayla

Oh, probably three times a week, but it’s not the greatest for us, I mean, if we skip the chips, and Well, where’s the fun in that? That’s what I was going to say. 


0:02:08 – Brian

I read the other day if you eat four baskets of chips, or you eat two baskets of chips, it’s like eating 30 tortillas, holy cow. I don’t know if that’s accurate or not. 


0:02:18 – Kayla

Well, aren’t they fried tortillas? Isn’t that what the chips are? 


0:02:22 – Brian

Maybe, but I think so. Yeah, no, but it ain’t 30 of them. I don’t think so, anyway, so anyway. Is anybody else addicted to like the Mexican food? 


0:02:37 – Kayla

I think most of America Okay. 


0:02:39 – Brian



0:02:40 – Kayla

So you’ve had an interesting experience lately. We needed some parts for our grill and we needed some parts for some other things around the house. You are running into one. It’s the same issue over and over. You cannot get the part and you’re having to order it. 


0:02:58 – Brian

I’m having to order, and what? 


0:03:00 – Kayla

did you declare that you would like to be able to do? 


0:03:02 – Brian

To go back in the store and buy things To find what you need in the store. I’m tired of waiting five, six, seven, ten days. 


0:03:13 – Kayla

And then it gets lost in the mail and it gets lost in the mail. 


0:03:19 – Brian

I have to contact the people who sold it and I’ve heard that from a few friends and I’m wondering if in a few years now this might take a few years, not going to happen overnight if there might slowly be a desire for a return to like in-person retail. 


0:03:33 – Kayla

I actually read not long ago that retailers are making clear their demands that they want to go back to store. 


0:03:42 – Brian

Really Mm-hmm. You mean shoppers have made that clear that they want to go back to the store. Yeah, well, I would do that. I would like that, because now I do like the option to see before I go to the store if they have what I’m looking for. 


0:03:58 – Kayla

Yeah, but what I’m saying is the retailers are finding out that consumers are they’re you. They are disgruntled with the online experience. They want to be able to go in the store, to have it immediately, to have more options, to experience the whole experience again, not just sitting at their keyboard and ordering something and hoping it works. It was almost like it was a revelation to those that run the stores. 


0:04:30 – Brian

We’ve got to rethink our inventory and our and a lot of times our stuff will go through like North Carolina. 


0:04:37 – Kayla

Oh, we’ll go with God. 


0:04:39 – Brian

And if it goes through a certain place North Carolina, it’ll sit there for five days. 


0:04:42 – Kayla

It’ll sit there for five days. 


0:04:44 – Brian

I could drive down there and get that package and have it back by the time that they do. I’m not kidding, I mean, this is grumpy old man venting here, so you feel better Well. 


0:04:55 – Kayla

I want them to fix it Anyway stay tuned, some great stories coming soon. 


0:05:03 – Brian

Caution signs. You ever what does that mean? You ever been driving along the road and it says caution ahead. And then, and then you drive, you drive and there’s a few things there that you know it could be a wreck. It could be that they’re doing world road work, World road work, Spit it out. So there you go. So have you ever encountered someone that should have come with a caution sign? 


0:05:34 – Kayla

Oh ouch. 


0:05:36 – Brian

I wish people came with like warning labels, you know. 


0:05:40 – Kayla

I feel like some days maybe I need one. No, I mean, there are moments, but what do you mean by this? 


0:05:49 – Brian

give me an example people who are never wrong. Oh okay, yeah, now I need to say something here. 30 years ago, Brian Sanders was not wrong about anything life has a way of knocking that out of you doesn’t it? 


I mean, I would argue like theology, I’d argue with, I mean, the finest points of it Today, oh, we agree on, like the Apostles’ Creed and the gospel. You’re good to go, bro, move along. People want to sit, you know, we believe in like infant baptism, because we are Presbyterian, yeah, and then we have other friends who don’t. 


0:06:29 – Kayla

They believe in immersion and we have no issue with that. 


0:06:31 – Brian

I have no issue with that, but they’re like well, you’re sinning when you do that. Now listen, look of all the sins I could commit. If that’s a sin, I’m going to be OK. 


0:06:42 – Kayla

So I’ve got one. Be okay, so I’ve got one. Those who refuse to listen to other people’s viewpoints about anything, not just religion. But they have fixed their mind and they are not even willing to give audience to someone else’s point of view. 


0:06:58 – Brian

That’s why I am so nervous about being on social media as we enter this political season, because there’s going to be so much back and forth and people not listening to each other. 


0:07:08 – Kayla

So a normal day on Facebook, a normal day, just a normal. 


0:07:13 – Brian

I remember one time I mean speaking of this people refuse to listen to other people’s viewpoints. We were at one of our favorite restaurants about three or four years ago during the first election and you remember that family. They were sitting there and they had a knockdown drag out. 


0:07:28 – Kayla

I do remember that Yelling at each other. Yeah, it was very uncomfortable. 


0:07:32 – Brian

And they wouldn’t listen to each other’s viewpoints. Yeah, you don’t have to agree to somebody, but you don’t have to be a jerk about it, but show respect, just hear someone out. 


0:07:41 – Kayla

It doesn’t mean that you have to buy into everything that they’re saying. 


0:07:46 – Brian

But yeah, 100%, 100%. Here’s another one People who think that they’ve learned all there is to learn. There’s a famous quote I love that says be the dumbest person in the room and if you’re not, go find a new room. 


0:08:02 – Kayla

I read a book recently and it’s by Shauna Niequist and I think I actually referenced it here. It’s called I Guess I Haven’t Learned that Yet and it was a great book, and it just reminded me that we are all a work in progress. We’re all realizing things about the world around us, about each other, about ourselves. All realizing things about the world around us, about each other, about ourselves, and hopefully it helps us to change and grow in the areas that we need to change and grow. But those people scare me. Yeah, I’ve got another one. This one, you know me. This one is like high on the list for me Drama magnets. 


I am not a fan of drama. If it’s a legit like house on fire situation, I’m here for it, I’ll be there. 


0:08:51 – Brian

But if it’s like everything in your life is constantly chaotic and Let me say this there are people who think they have to create drama in order to get attention. 


0:09:01 – Kayla



0:09:02 – Brian

That drives me up a wall. Now let me say this I still try to be patient. Yeah, I’m not perfect. 


0:09:08 – Kayla

But I find something in my brain just flipping off from the situation. I just find myself just You’re flipping off your brain. 


0:09:15 – Brian

You’re not flipping off the people. 


0:09:17 – Kayla

Yes, okay. Because you were one word away there from Maybe we’ll say switching off. 


0:09:25 – Brian



0:09:25 – Kayla

Yeah, behave. I kind of zone out, I just I get to the point where I think it’s a self-preservation thing that I just switch off. Better choice of words, sorry, and I can’t deal now because I want to. I want to absorb what’s going on, I want to fix what’s, and I just can’t always do that. It’s too heavy. 


0:09:50 – Brian

I want to I want to fix what’s happening, yeah, and resolve it, move on, yeah. And let me say this we’re not saying that like we’re perfect. 


0:09:59 – Kayla

We’re far oh, we’re coming to that, okay, we have. 


0:10:01 – Brian

Oh, we are. Yeah, I was just trying to do that one blank. I didn’t know it was going to get all detailed. Now we’re going to keyboard warriors, drive me up a wall. 


0:10:10 – Kayla

We’ve experienced some of those experience. 


0:10:13 – Brian

Uh, when I wrote my first book, leadership endurance, we met with a market each agency who actually walked us through this and said you need to be prepared, there’s going to be keyboard warriors. And I thought it’s a book about leadership, it’s Lincoln and FDR and Grant and yet Churchill, there’s not going to be anybody man. A lot of people got upset with me because I included FDR, I included Lincoln. I mean, people hate Lincoln, people hate FDR. Really, these people are dead. Yeah, they saved the nation and I’m just like wow. 


0:10:48 – Kayla

So I will actually share at this moment why I shut down my Facebook page. You know this Very few people know this. When you became an author and your book came out, I got some really nasty private messages, and you know that. Yeah, I got some really nasty private messages and you know that I got accused of being a joke of a wife that if I really loved you, I would take better care of you, I would cook healthy meals, I would make sure that you had a support system in place so that you would not be the size you were. I was accused of either oversharing about the book or undersharing about the book. It’s like I could never find the right balance to please people and I just got to the place where it was not what was happening in the day to day, believe it or not. I could kind of step over all the political banter and all the other stuff. It was the toxic private message and I realized I’m not here for this. I didn’t sign on for this and so I shut down. 


0:11:54 – Brian

Facebook. Do you miss it? I? 


0:11:55 – Kayla

don’t, I don’t even think about it, I really don’t. So, yeah, which lends to another one for me, someone who is often I’m going to throw in that key word often rude or ill-mannered, because there are days when we all have an off day and we may come across as-, but some people have them every single day. But if you’re constantly incapable of saying please and thank you, you or you’re not able to show kindness and general respect to someone else, if it’s just your nature to be just obnoxious, yeah yeah. 


0:12:37 – Brian

It, just it actually helped me with this. Now, I’m not trying to be rude, but like we’ll be somewhere and I’ll ask for like a refill of like a Coke Zero and it’s my grandmother coming out, that’s fine. But I try to say it kindly. 


0:12:52 – Kayla

You always say it kindly. 


0:12:53 – Brian

But as they walk away, you say say please, say please. And so I do, and so you would always. 


0:13:00 – Kayla

I was so proud of your tone and again, tone matters a lot. But you would say, could I have a refill or could I trouble you for? But I’m like say please, because my grandmother, she has refused meals to people before for a lack of please and thank you and tone’s a topic we could, we could, we could spend a whole other subject. 


0:13:22 – Brian

You do that, and then my executive assistant, Adam Read. I’ll be in meetings. 


0:13:27 – Kayla

What will he tell you to do? 


0:13:29 – Brian

I’ll be in a meeting for like 20, 30 minutes with a group of people and he’ll send me a text. It’ll have one word. You know what that word is, don’t you? 


0:13:36 – Kayla



0:13:37 – Brian

Smile, because you get so serious looking and I’m just, I mean, I don’t think I’m sitting there scowling at people, you know, but there you go. 


0:13:46 – Kayla

What’s another one for? 


0:13:47 – Brian

you Self-righteous people. Oh this is a big one for you. Huge Brian Sanders is who he is, at Walmart, Target and at church. If I’m flawed at Walmart and Target, I’m going to be flawed at church. If I say something inappropriate at Walmart and church, I’m going to say something inappropriate at church. That’s why I don’t want to be different people. I want to be the same person everywhere I go. I want to be authentic and I can’t stand plastic Christianity. 


I can’t stand plastic. Christianity Can’t stand fakeness. And again, I’ve got my own sides to it. I mean there are parts of me like when I have to put on my best face and have to smile, and like when I’m done with. There’s times when I’m done like, okay, I’m done with this, can we move this along? No, so I got to say I mean there’s sides to me that I still have to work on. But I think that self-righteousness does more harm to the kingdom than it does grow it. 


0:14:51 – Kayla

This is a huge caution sign for me, and you know this Someone who’s projecting their elitism, superiority or status on someone else. Something my daddy taught us from knee high is do not forget your roots, and what he meant by that was no matter how big your britches get, do not forget where you came from. 


And I am so challenged to engage people when they are just giving off this air of, well, I have more money, or I have more social status, or I’m more educated, or the list goes on. I’m not comfortable in environments where someone likes to project their status is better than everyone else. 


0:15:47 – Brian

Folks who are a wet blanket get on my nerves, like you. 


0:15:50 – Kayla

It wears you down, yours, and because I can’t. 


0:15:54 – Brian

I have to have some positivity. 


0:15:56 – Kayla



0:15:56 – Brian

I need somebody who’s a little bit happy. Now let me say this I don’t want to be around Tigger all day, but I wouldn’t mind a little time when we poo bit happy. Now let me say this I don’t want to be around Tigger all day either, but I wouldn’t mind a little time of ween, poo and rabbit. Okay, but Al drives me up the wall. We talked about that last week, but Eeyore. 


0:16:10 – Kayla



0:16:11 – Brian

Well, I’m going to go in the corner and die and I want to say you want to set an alarm clock? Oh, I, just that’s my imperfection coming out. Yeah, but I can’t. It just kills me, it just drives me up. 


0:16:27 – Kayla

No, I see that Well, it drains you. It’s like it sucks the life out of your battery. 


0:16:32 – Brian

Energy vampires. 


0:16:33 – Kayla

Yeah, I have one more and I have to give a shout out to our friend Tara. I asked her. I said if you were to come up with one of these, what would you say? And for her it was people who overshare. Get right up in your face and they just they tell you their whole life and you may know them for like 10 minutes. And they tell you, or they’re telling you intimate details of things. That it just makes it very uncomfortable. 


0:16:58 – Brian

When I was five, I actually burnt our house down. My parents still don’t know it to this day. Really, I don’t need to know that. I don’t need that kind of guilt on my conscience. Okay, please don’t tell me that. 


0:17:10 – Kayla

But let’s bring this back though, because it may sound like we are really ragging on some people. We are these people, so let’s just start here. 


0:17:20 – Brian

On any given day I can be prone to overshare and I and you can. You can say this I will get whenever we leave social functions, I’ll get in the truck and sometimes what’s? 


0:17:31 – Kayla

the first thing I say to you I said too much. 


0:17:32 – Brian

I said too much you. 


0:17:33 – Kayla

you are plagued by that. Oh, and we have actually learned a secret code with each other where there is a certain look that I will give you if I feel like you’ve hit that threshold. Not that one. 


0:17:45 – Brian

Not that look. 


0:17:46 – Kayla

This one is, I’m kind of reminding you OK, be kind of hit the brakes so that you feel comfortable when you leave that situation. There’s a couple of key truths we want to say, first one being this All of sin will fall short of the glory of God. None of us are perfect, no. 


0:18:03 – Brian

I mean, I’m loud, I’m boisterous, I can overshare, I can be judgmental of people. I may not argue with you in person, but I may get in. I’ll be honest. I can get in my truck and say Lord, have mercy, what an idiot. I’m just saying, I’m being real Maybe that’s too honest. 


0:18:32 – Kayla

But to that point we’re kind of in jest sharing these, because we all at some point wear these caution signs and let he who is without sin cast the first stone. And I mean there are days that I’m a number of these.


0:18:43 – Brian

I shouldn’t get in the truck and call somebody Well probably not, but because that lends to. I need to ask myself a question Am I mindful in the ways in which I need to be sanctified? Am I mindful of my weak areas, where Christ still needs to do a lot of work on me? Yeah, not just a little bit of work, but a lot of work. 


0:19:06 – Kayla

Here’s another question that I often ask myself Am I involved enough in this person’s life that perhaps I should speak some truth and love? Should I help them to see their caution signs? If I’m going to do that, Iron sharpens iron. Again, this is. There’s a key phrase Am I involved enough in this person’s life? And then the spirit has to speak into whether it’s mine to do this or not. 


0:19:33 – Brian

Now, unlike leadership issues with, like, those who report to me, yes, I will address certain issues. Yeah, personal issues. Yeah, personal issues. Yeah, there’s probably three, four people in the world. I feel like I am close enough to that I can address certain issues. 


0:19:52 – Kayla



0:19:53 – Brian

And one of them. I still want to be able to sleep in my own house. 


0:20:00 – Kayla

Fair enough. Oh, all right, then I’m guessing we’re having a conversation. 


0:20:08 – Brian

Because I don’t ever have to, because you are near perfect, oh, whatever. You’re like Mary Poppins. 


0:20:13 – Kayla



0:20:14 – Brian

Practically perfect in every way. 


0:20:15 – Kayla

Here’s another question I ask myself Am I comfortable with just embracing the flawed parts of other people? Because, back to my, I guess I haven’t learned that yet. We are all hopefully growing and changing. Life has a way of when you were talking about 30 years ago, you felt like you knew everything. We all go through seasons that really humble us, take the wind out of our sails, teach us a different perspective, hopefully mature us and are we willing to let God be God sometimes and let him be the one that reveals those caution signs? So, yeah, may we not leave you thinking that we’re sitting here, going well, we are perfect, and everyone else is going around with caution, because there are many, many days that when I’m doing my journaling at night, I’m realizing I’ve got a lot to repent for. 


0:21:15 – Brian

No, no, I think you’re am got a lot to repent for. No, no, I think you’re. Am I comfortable with embracing flawed parts of others? It’s according to oh gosh, it’s so. So y’all don’t think less of me. It’s according to what that flawed part is. That’s horrible of me to admit. It’s honest. If they’re a little rough around the edges, I’ll probably get along with them. If they’re mopey and you’re, I’m going to have to. I’m sorry. 


0:21:41 – Kayla

You’re going to find a way to remove yourself from that? 


0:21:43 – Brian

Yes, that’s awful, but at the same time I can’t be everything to everybody. I’m not Jesus and I don’t see how he does it. That’s a little too honest. Not who does it, that’s a little too honest. 


0:21:53 – Kayla

Not at all. Oversharing there it is right there, so anyway. But yeah. 


0:21:58 – Brian

There’s our hearts on a platter today. We getting Mexican food later. I didn’t know it was going to be all this kind of personal. Last week’s podcast you had me crying. Now I’m all guts out on the page, okay, so there you go. 


0:22:22 – Kayla

So laughter is good for the soul and we have had a few things to laugh at recently. I love to laugh, so our friends Adam and Ronda they are with our WCQR station yep, they did some face swap videos. I and I have not laughed that hard in a very long time they put faces on, that look like Shrek and that Shrek’s wife and then they swapped faces and it was like that software where you can it’s hilarious I mean my cheeks hurt from we may have to do this for our peace and care yeah, this is something you want to do, but we’ll see. 


So you were going one Saturday morning. You went to get breakfast for us and what did you see? 


0:23:02 – Brian

in our town I was driving back and this truck full of stuff in the bed of the truck also had a trailer in the bed of the truck. There’s these two huge. Now y’all. When I say huge, I mean 30-foot wide and 20-foot-long Frankenstein feet in the bed of the truck. 


And then in the trailer was like a 50-foot plastic snake, disassembled, five skeletons and what looked like a body wrapped up in a rug. Well, I took a picture of that and put it on our town Facebook page Everything Christiansburg and I said meanwhile in Christiansburg. That post went viral. There’s like 300 people. 


0:23:49 – Kayla

And didn’t the driver actually post, oh, so embarrassed. 


0:23:53 – Brian

The woman that it belonged to saw the post and commented that there were no bodies there were no bodies on the trailer oh, I wanted. 


0:24:04 – Kayla

We laughed so hard. 


0:24:06 – Brian

When I read her comment I wanted to crawl under the desk. 


0:24:10 – Kayla

We’ve also been able to laugh with friends lately. We’ve also been able to laugh with friends lately. We’ve been able to reminisce with some friends about their mom, who passed away several years ago, and stories about my grandma and there is some healing balm in being able to remember your people. 


If someone is grieving, share the story because it does something for their heart that you haven’t forgotten their person. And watching this family as we were sitting there sharing stories about their mom, you could tell that it just was really blessing them that their mom had not been forgotten. And so, yeah, do that. 


0:24:55 – Brian

It was during the pandemic and it was near the end of it. We had not gone back to restaurants yet, yeah, but we had agreed we were going to order takeout from a particular restaurant here in town that does ribs and that kind of stuff. 


0:25:07 – Kayla

Well, we had learned that they had some very serious protocols in place for picking up meals, how the food was handled, all this kind of stuff. So you decided to surprise me with dinner one night. 


0:25:20 – Brian

And you are sitting at the table. I will never forget this image as long as I live. You’re sitting at the table, in one hand you got a fork, in the other hand you got a knife. And I pull back and there’s ribs in there and you start dancing. That little fork and knife start going up and down and your little body starts going left to right and I said, baby, are you excited? And you said was I dancing? I said yes, and you said yes, I’m excited about this. 


0:25:48 – Kayla

So it’s become my thing now. So that I will do a little jig when I like a meal. 


0:25:52 – Brian

You said the first meal. In four months I haven’t had to cook little jig when I like a meal. 


0:25:56 – Kayla

You said the first meal in four months I haven’t had to cook. Yes, yes. 


0:26:01 – Brian

So yeah, you get tickled at me because now, if I’m excited about a meal, I will do this little jig as of this recording. I was in Lynchburg, Virginia, yesterday for some business meetings and two of my leaders were there. 


And you guys went to lunch together at a Mexican restaurant were there and you guys went to lunch together at a Mexican restaurant and the waiter asked us if we wanted the lunch portion or the regular portion or the dinner portion. And so Adam Reed, he always orders the smaller portion. So me and Doug just said regular because we thought that meant the dinner portion portion they bring out like a dog bowl of food. Let me just say this First of all they bring Adam Reed he got a chimichanga lunch. That chimichanga had to be three inches long and like a half inch wide. It was the most pitiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life. And then me and Doug we both got this steak over rice with cheese and it was like five bites. 


0:26:59 – Kayla

Is that why you were so hungry for dinner? 


0:27:01 – Brian

I was starving yesterday and so we all got done. We were done eating in, like you know, five minutes. And we’re sitting there and Adam Reed says why didn’t you order something else? You don’t like pigs? Oh, if I’m at a Mexican restaurant, I don’t you order something else. 


0:27:15 – Kayla

You don’t look like pigs. Oh, if I’m at a Mexican restaurant I don’t care, well bring it. 


0:27:20 – Brian

You’re going to be eating 40 fajitas later. 40, call them things 40. What do you call them Fajitas? Is that what it’s called? Tortillas, tortillas, tortillas 56 has been rough on me, so anyway. 


0:27:38 – Kayla

Hey, we’ve been having lots of winners. We are blown away, yes, and we are loving hearing from you. So, yes, we have a couple of new items. It is possible that you could receive a notepad, some pens, a mug, some cute little stickers, that’s the prize pack. That’s our prize pack. If you go to our website and answer our question correctly, you could win. 


0:28:02 – Brian

You’ll get a mug pen, notepad and a pack of stickers. This week’s question is oh, I’ve got to think of one. Okay, so you go to our website, When you get there, click the trivia question and this is this week’s question. 


0:28:21 – Kayla

What is your favorite restaurant of choice? 


0:28:25 – Brian

Oh, oh, that’s a good question. 


0:28:28 – Kayla

Why? Thank you, that’s good. So, yeah, go to Click the trivia button. Share with us what is your favorite restaurant of choice. You can give us that information and any other stories you’d like to share with us. If you’ve had a good laugh lately, share that with us Share it and we will send you a notepad, some stickers, a mug and some pens. 


0:28:52 – Brian

There you go. So yeah, hey, thanks for listening, and you can search the Peas and Carrots Podcast wherever you get your podcast or visit our website. 


0:29:02 – Kayla When you do, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast. 


0:29:05 – Brian

You can also follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast. 


0:29:10 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit Life’s not perfect. That’s why God gave us friends like Melody and Candi. Check out, or search Quirks, Bumps, and Bruises wherever you listen to podcasts.




Season 3, Episode 11: Progress Over Perfection

Progress Over Perfection
Progress Over Perfection - Episode Description
Our studio is bursting with quirks and chuckles, and we, Brian and Kayla, can’t wait to bring you into the fold. Picture this: a Christmas tree and an Easter rabbit in a humorous standoff, a Star Wars pen collection growing faster than the Millennium Falcon can make the Kessel Run, and us – the couple who opts for a single entrée to avoid dozing off at the dinner table. But it’s not all giggles and themed mugs; we’re baring our souls too. Sit with us as we navigate the winding roads of healing and growth that follow life’s setbacks, drawing powerful parallels between bouncing back from personal struggles and recovering from major surgery. It’s an intimate look at how embracing change makes us tougher, wiser, and ready for the next chapter.
Then, buckle up for both laughter and learnings as we recount travel tales that veer off the beaten path. You’ll get our top tips to keep your travels smooth, including the lifesaving power of snacks and the art of staying zen amidst chaos. Stories of our own misadventures, like a treacherous hike at Nakalula Falls and a dental fiasco in Greece, will remind you to pack flexibility alongside your sense of humor. Share a laugh with us and pick up some travel wisdom that might just save your next vacation from going awry. And who knows? Your own travel tip could land you a cozy spot on our show – plus, some Peas and Carrots swag to boot.
Progress Over Perfection - Transcript

0:00:00 – Announcer

We go together like Peas and Carrots. The Peas and Carrots Podcast, sharing life from our piece of the vegetable patch, Brian and Kayla Sanders. 


0:00:11 – Brian

Welcome to the Peas and Carrots Podcast. I’m Kayla and I’m Brian. Hello to this week’s vegetable patch edition. Mm-hmm. And we’re surrounded now by like new critters. 


0:00:24 – Kayla

We are and we were gifted a mug, a new critters we are. And we were gifted a mug, a new mug. 


0:00:28 – Brian

Yeah, like a camp style mug. 


0:00:31 – Kayla

It’s very cute. 


0:00:32 – Brian

From Joy FM, one of the PAR radio stations. They did a Peas and Carrots edition mug. 


0:00:39 – Kayla

And we have these new mic flags. What in the world does that mean? 


0:00:43 – Brian

These go on the end of the microphone so that when we do pictures or video or something like that, you’ll see the logo. 


0:00:51 – Kayla

I see a little pea and a carrot looking at me, so it’s very cute. 


0:00:55 – Brian

Very, what Cute. You love cute stuff, don’t you? I do. 


0:00:58 – Kayla

So for those keeping score, our Christmas tree did not come down. I’m okay with that well, it was a very cold and dreary week so it kind of worked out it was a dark and stormy night. 


It worked out in our favor, but we ended up. We had a very busy weekend last weekend and we were traveling for the first half of the week, so I just never got to it. And and now the Easter rabbit is staring at the tree. So I think we have a showdown. Coming Easter rabbit. I have this stuffed. Well, it’s not really stuffed. 


0:01:34 – Brian

I’ve always called him the Easter bunny. 


0:01:36 – Kayla

Well, he’s a rabbit, the one I’m talking about. It’s the one that I got before Pier 1 closed. 


0:01:42 – Brian

He sits on the I know what he’s talking about before Pier 1 closed. 


0:01:45 – Kayla

He sits on the. I know what you’re talking about. He’s got attitude, he’s so cute, but he’s staring at the tree. So yeah, anyway, easter and Christmas are colliding at our house. This is where we are. We’re just a hot mess. You have a new obsession. 


0:01:57 – Brian

I do. 


0:01:59 – Kayla

It’s fun. 


0:01:59 – Brian

It is. My executive assistant, Adam, got me a Darth Vader pin for Christmas, and, as you know, I’m a Star Wars fan, so he told me where he got it from. So now I have a Kylo Ren pin, an R2-D2 pin as well, and there’s a Yoda one as well, so I’m probably going to order that one soon as well. Hilarious, they write so well, do they? Yeah, they write well, so I’m probably going to order that one soon as well. Hilarious they write so well do they, yeah, they write well. 


0:02:28 – Kayla



0:02:29 – Brian



0:02:30 – Kayla

We have become that couple. 


0:02:32 – Brian

In what way? 


0:02:34 – Kayla

What do we do when we go to a restaurant, we now share one entree. 


0:02:37 – Brian

Yes, we most certainly do. I’m not ashamed of it. And if it’s dinner, we definitely do, because we can’t go to bed on a full stomach, no, and we go to bed so early now that yeah, I went to bed at 7:45 last night and I fell asleep, napped for an hour and a half in the chair, hour and a half before that. 


0:02:55 – Kayla

So yeah, again, it’s been a busy week, but we are those people. We used to make fun of those people. 


0:03:01 – Brian

You know that right, yes, so here we are, the knw cafeteria. So yeah, I mean I don’t. This is like I’m not ashamed. I don’t know about y’all, but I’m not ashamed. I thought I had healed from that. I thought I was over it yeah, yeah, oh. 


0:03:23 – Kayla

I recently found myself dealing with a situation that just shook me. It left me questioning so many things and it was a trigger and I know everyone throws that word around but I found myself in a situation that just upended me. And yet here was my takeaway my initial reaction was not the greatest, but I found myself processing and responding, ultimately, in healthier ways than my old self would have. I got there a lot faster than I used to, so there were a few things that I realized, and you and I started talking about this because we’ve both had some hard situations lately. And do you ever feel like you kind of want to climb out of your own skin and just observe and watch how you’re doing with certain things? 


0:04:19 – Brian

If it helped me lose weight. 


0:04:20 – Kayla

I’d do that. 


0:04:22 – Brian

Go ahead. 


0:04:24 – Kayla

But the first thing that I realized is healing is not linear. It’s natural to experience setbacks up and down and it’s a choice to just not go back to the old ways or to default to the negative thinking. But yes, it is very it’s like up, down down two steps forward, one steps back. So that’s the first thing I realized. 


0:04:50 – Brian

What I liken that to is that consider having major surgery, that you have some major surgery for something and yet the doctor says you will recover, yeah, okay. Well, whenever I hear recover, I’m thinking I’m going to feel exactly the way before. I ever had this problem. Well, that may not be the case, because you may leave with a limp, you can still walk, you can still do it, and the healing works. Or you may need some rehab, or just some rehab, yeah, but you may not return to your former self. But you’re able to move forward. And in that example, what I like to think is that you probably leave tougher. Yeah, you probably leave wiser. 


0:05:35 – Kayla

Because you have to be a little bit scrappy in the recovery.


0:05:39 – Brian

Yeah, so for me in that is, we have this false thing that because I’ve been through this, okay, I want to go back to what life was like before that happened. You’re not going to be able to go through that at all. Okay, for example, whenever my dad died, whenever your dad died, you can’t go back to life before that happened. You can’t have that kind of peace again, but you can have a new life. 


0:06:09 – Kayla



0:06:11 – Brian

And a life will actually grow up around that grief. That’s just an example. I’m using. 


0:06:16 – Kayla

That’s good. I’ve also been reminded that I’m not responsible all the time for what happens, because there are things outside of our control, but I am responsible for how I react in those situations. That is on me and that’s hard because we’re all human and sometimes that looks like we want to react in anger or we want to react in. 


0:06:46 – Brian

I would react in anger. 


0:06:48 – Kayla

Or we want justice or we want to have our say, and that’s not always the way it should be. Sometimes, the best thing we can do is just sit with it and ultimately ask God what are you trying to teach me here? What is it about me that you’re trying to grow in this process? 


0:07:10 – Brian

That makes me think of Joseph in the Old Testament. He was thrown into a pit sold into slavery. He was accused of a sexual crime that he didn’t commit, forgotten about in prison, finally got out, became governor of Egypt. 


0:07:27 – Kayla

And this was all after his brother sold him. 


0:07:29 – Brian

Yeah, this is all after yeah, he had such a smooth ride. Yeah, Got off on a great foot there. But throughout that whole time, when you read it, Joseph kept saying but the Lord is with me. 


0:07:42 – Kayla



0:07:43 – Brian

And I don’t know I’m going to be honest. I don’t know if I could say that I’m just being brutally honest. 


0:07:50 – Kayla

No, because I’d be like God where are you? 


0:07:52 – Brian



0:07:53 – Kayla



0:07:54 – Brian

That’s a faith, but at the same time, I also believe this that Joseph, while he’s in that pit, while he’s in that prison, the Lord would give grace for you to believe that, for you to trust in that. 


0:08:10 – Kayla



0:08:11 – Brian

So that’s where I am. So there’s a truth here. Joseph is a good reminder that God will use our mess and he’s not abandoned us. It may not feel like he’s there. 


0:08:24 – Kayla



0:08:26 – Brian

But he’s there. Therefore, think about this how many different things did Joseph have to go through before he felt healed, before he felt delivered? 


0:08:37 – Kayla



0:08:38 – Brian

And all that stuff he was going through. It was equipping him, getting him ready for what was coming. 


0:08:42 – Kayla

That’s right. Yeah Well, it made him a heck of a leader one day. 


0:08:45 – Brian

It did, yeah, it did. 


0:08:47 – Kayla

Another one for me. I can choose not to be defined by what is happening. 


0:08:54 – Brian

I don’t really want to talk about that. 


0:08:55 – Kayla

Rejection does not make me a reject. Being overlooked does not make me invisible. Making others feel small does not make me bigger. Make me bigger. Those are all truths that when we’re going through a hard situation, it’s good to reject those voices or those patterns of behavior that well, if I could just feel better about myself. At what cost are we going to do that? I think that’s the question we have to ask ourselves. And it’s hard. 


0:09:31 – Brian

You said I can be rejected, but I’m not a rejection. 


0:09:37 – Kayla

A reject yeah. 


0:09:38 – Brian

Reject. There’s a meme that keeps coming up on my Instagram and I haven’t shared it and it’s very personal to me. I don’t know how this meme keeps finding me. It says you have fat, you are not fat, and I’ve seen this like two or three times now and I get so emotional when I see it. 


0:10:03 – Kayla

Yeah. Because, you fear that. That’s how you are defined. 


0:10:07 – Brian

Oh yes, a hundred percent. Because whenever I walk into a room, the first thing you see about me is my size. Now, at the same time, you’re talking about rejection. This is hard for me, because I struggle with acceptance and rejection. That’s a big deal for me as an Enneagram too. A big deal for me as an Enneagram too. So I try to stay grounded, and I mean this because I remind myself that Jesus loves me, Jesus accepts me, and that you, Miss Kayla, you love me and that you have accepted me. 


0:10:41 – Kayla

And the truth is so do many others. But when you’re struggling with something that’s kind of kicked you on the back of your heels, it’s hard to believe that. Yes, the last one for me is progress over perfection. I live by the once. I know better, do better mindset, and as God reveals areas to me that I still need to work some more in it’s on me to embrace that, but also to accept that the truth is I’m created in his image. He loves me. He knows the things that I’m going to need some pruning or some time, and it doesn’t take anything away from how he sees me and how valued I am by him, from how he sees me and how valued I am by him. 


When I need to learn that lesson for the 10th or the 20th time or I regress to something that I thought that I had outgrown, it’s hard for me to forgive myself. When I do go back to either a pattern of behavior or a mindset where I’m believing all those worst like tapes running through my head. Well, you should have figured this out by now. You should have grown in this. This shouldn’t bother you anymore. This shouldn’t be something that you struggle with. God’s in the midst of all that, and there’s something he’s still wanting me to learn, and that’s why he keeps presenting these situations for me. 


0:12:13 – Brian

I struggle with perfection in certain areas, like whenever I speak before people. I want to be perfect. I don’t want to stutter, I want to have all the right points, and sometimes I’ll get trapped within my own personality, like I want to share a joke or something like that and that can derail me and that will beat me up. I want to be perfect when it comes to food, but I love pepperoni, so that gets me in trouble. 


0:12:46 – Kayla

You are brutal to yourself if you make a mistake during the day, like if you feel like you mis-stepped with a team member. 


0:12:54 – Brian

I feel like I’ve disappointed them and OK, this goes back to this, and now they’re not going to accept me, they’re going to reject me and ultimately they could leave the organization, and I’m trying hard to lay that expectation down. 


0:13:08 – Kayla



0:13:08 – Brian

Because it does suffocate me. And the bottom line there is remembering that we don’t have that expectation down. 


0:13:11 – Kayla

Yeah, because it does suffocate me, and the bottom line there is remembering that we don’t have that much control. God is ultimately sovereign over all of this. 


0:13:19 – Brian

That got said. You’re 100% right. Why do you have to be so smart and be so wise? 


0:13:26 – Kayla

Oh, I wish, oh, you are, you are. So there we go. Just some thoughts on if there’s something in your life that you’re struggling with and you feel like it’s just a broken record and you keep having to face this again and again, you keep having to revisit this hard situation, look back at how a former version of you would have dealt with it and see even the incremental ways that God is working in and through you. 


0:13:59 – Brian

Very powerful. Before we get started on this next segment, I just want to paint a picture for folks to, here we go. 


0:14:13 – Kayla

I just want to paint a picture for folks behind Miss Kayla. 


0:14:14 – Brian

There’s a table what in the world? 


0:14:16 – Kayla

and there are one two, three, you have four Godzillas sitting there are four Godzillas and there’s two or three more in my office. 


0:14:21 – Brian

I need to bring over this is out of control, but this is what a podcast studio should look like no, it should not yes and then behind her, against the wall, is Abraham L… 


0:14:30 – Kayla

It’s a real mix match of things in here. 


0:14:34 – Brian

I’ve got. 


0:14:34 – Kayla

Darth Vader to my left. 


0:14:37 – Brian

Wow, and then here on the studio console. 


0:14:40 – Kayla

Apparently, my only contribution is a Peas and Carrots stuffy, so.


0:14:48 – Brian

Bitter party of one. Your table is ready, anyway. Party of one. Here’s ready. Anyway, party of one. Here we are okay. 


0:14:53 – Kayla

So I, just now, I’m creeped out by what’s behind me he’s not gonna bother you he’s. He’s a titan. He saves, oh my gosh. Okay. So here we are our best travel tips and a couple of travel stories. So this will be fun. Um, it’s getting close to you. There’s spring break trips. It’s that time of year where people are going to start planning their summer vacation. So we thought we would share with you just a few things we’ve learned as a couple, and, of course, we’re being self-deprecating, so just bear with us. 


0:15:28 – Brian

But, for example, you need to accept that one of you likes to arrive at the airport three hours before the flight and the other one doesn’t mind getting there one hour before. So go ahead and accept that you’re going to get there Three hours before yes, you’re welcome. 


0:15:46 – Kayla

Never missed a flight because of me. 


0:15:47 – Brian

We live with an airport that has six gates. I don’t care, six Uh-huh. Never missed a flight because of me. We live with an airport that has six gates. Don’t care, six Uh-huh. We could get there 45 minutes before the flight and we’d be fine. 


0:15:58 – Kayla

So that leads to my next tip Pack snacks, because nothing says a bad travel day, like two hangry people who are likely also tired because one of them insisted on that three-hour pre-flight window. So pack snacks. 


0:16:17 – Brian

I’m a snack fan, you know. So yeah, crackers, that kind of stuff I’m good, and usually we’re there. So early in the morning that the little store, the little place isn’t open yet. Not that I’m angry about that. 


0:16:28 – Kayla

I’m a little sassy about this. 


0:16:29 – Brian

Okay, I’m not. You were going after Godzilla earlier. Oh my gosh, there it is there. If I can get one of those a day, I consider that a win, a successful day for the day. I can go home. I can go home all right. 


0:16:44 – Kayla

What would you say is your next tip? 


0:16:46 – Brian

okay, for me, my tip would be don’t create extra stress. Be the calm one. 


0:16:53 – Kayla

What does that mean? Tread carefully. 


0:16:59 – Brian

One of you is probably going to worry about everything. Is the gate going to change, is the plane going to be on time, will we land there on time? And your point I’m giving out a travel tip, okay, okay. So one of you will probably be worried about everything, the other one of you. You need to be calm and project that and that everything will be okay. And even if it’s not, what can you change about it? And you might get there a little bit later. So to me, that kind of helps balance things out. Okay, that’s my tip. 


0:17:35 – Kayla

Which lends to what you were also about to share, which is another good one Leverage your strengths, and that’s kind of what you were hinting at. Who can keep up with the details? That would be me we’re not naming names, oh, as if we weren’t with the. Don’t create stress. And who can weave in spontaneity and fun? Because you do. Sometimes you just need to chill out and there are things again. Wow, there’s a lot about control in this episode, but there are things that you can control and there are things you can’t. So one of you needs to keep up with the time of the flights and all that jazz, but one of you needs to make sure that you’re having fun along the way. So there we go. 


0:18:23 – Brian

For this is my final tip Go somewhere you love Now. I don’t mind trying a new adventure. That’s fine, but be comfortable with wherever you’re going to go. 


0:18:31 – Kayla



0:18:32 – Brian

Now we have changed our plans because, after we thought about it, we’re like, we’re not. 


0:18:36 – Kayla

There’s a lot going on in the world. We were actually we’ve shared in another podcast we were going to go to Italy this summer. After some discussion and just looking at well, first of all, some things going on in life around us and then things going on in the world around us, we opted to stay in the United. States this summer. So yeah, so yeah. Make sure that you’re both on the same page with your travel plans. Which lends us to a couple of stories. 


0:19:06 – Brian

A couple of stories. There was a concert series that would always show up in Gadsden, Alabama. I’m a big Southern Gospel music guy. There’s two groups Gold City and then the Kingsman. I’m a huge Kingsman fan. 


0:19:20 – Kayla

And we would go for their reunion. 


0:19:22 – Brian

Yes, we would go there for that, and there’s a place there called. 


0:19:27 – Kayla

Nakalula Falls. It’s beautiful. 


0:19:29 – Brian

It is, and it’s named after an Indian girl. 


0:19:32 – Kayla

Yeah, there’s this whole story. There’s a whole story there.


0:19:35 – Brian

But you can go hiking down to Noccalula Falls. We were told it was a moderate hike. 


0:19:43 – Kayla

Well, their definition of a moderate hiking trail does not match ours, because we nearly died. 


0:19:49 – Brian

Coming back up that. 


0:19:50 – Kayla

We got to the bottom it wasn’t bad. 


0:19:52 – Brian

Oh, it was too coming back up that. 


0:19:55 – Kayla

We got to the bottom. Going down wasn’t bad. Oh it was too. 


0:19:58 – Brian

But coming back up, but getting back up from I thought y’all were going to leave me down there. 


0:20:00 – Kayla

Listen, if they’d had cell phones back then, we’d have been texting somebody and saying send a helicopter. 


0:20:06 – Brian

Because it was rough, it was hot. 


0:20:08 – Kayla



0:20:09 – Brian

Oh, I think we have a picture of us coming up. Oh, hot, yes, oh, I think we have a picture of us coming up. 


0:20:12 – Kayla

Oh my gosh, yeah, it was not a good and y’all, this was back in the 90s and some girl had the idea to wear her denim overalls and I was dying by the time we got back to the top. 


0:20:23 – Brian

So then there was a time that we took a trip to Turkey, to the seven churches of the Revelation, uh-huh. On the way back, maybe was it to Greece or to Turkey. 


0:20:34 – Kayla

It was to Greece. This was when we went to Greece. 


0:20:37 – Brian

So we’re coming back from Greece on the plane and I look at you and your mouth is swollen. 


0:20:42 – Kayla

Like a chipmunk. 


0:20:43 – Brian

I said baby, are you okay? You’re like I’m hurting. 


0:20:46 – Kayla



0:20:47 – Brian

And on the flight from Greece to back to new Orleans, 14 hours. 


0:20:54 – Kayla

The dentist told me the next day that due to the change in pressure on the plane, an already aggravated wisdom tooth it caused a reaction. And it was impacted and it got very angry and so my entire jaw swelled. We got very angry and so my entire jaw swelled. We got home Sunday. I was at the dentist on Monday and on Wednesday I had all of my wisdom teeth out, so it was quite an adventure. 


0:21:22 – Brian

It was yeah, and it was. 


0:21:24 – Kayla



0:21:25 – Brian

I guess we’re scaring our people with our travel stories here. 


0:21:28 – Kayla

No, I mean, it was good. 


0:21:30 – Brian

You got to be flexible because stuff’s going to happen. That’s right, and remember this that whatever does happen, it will create a great story. 


0:21:38 – Kayla

Oh, absolutely. It’s very random, but anytime we mentor a young couple, the one thing we tell them about your wedding is something’s going to go wrong that day. 


0:21:49 – Brian

But you’re going to laugh about it later. 


0:21:51 – Kayla

It’s going to be the thing that you remember and you will laugh about it for years to come. So, as you are making your travel plans, just prepare for something to go sideways and just have fun with it. 


0:22:05 – Brian

I remember one time at Disney we were down there and we saw this family, probably five or six of them, leaving the hotel and they’re like are y’all ready to go to the happiest place on earth? And all the little kids. 


0:22:16 – Kayla

Everybody’s smiling, everybody’s smiling. 


0:22:18 – Brian

The girls are in their little princess outfits and we see them, I guess, four or five hours later at a Disney park and there’s a total meltdown. 


0:22:29 – Kayla

And it’s the adults having a meltdown, not the kids. The dad is losing it. 


0:22:33 – Brian

The dad says this is not the happiest. I mean he’s having a fit. We just kept on walking. 


0:22:39 – Kayla

We just kept laughing. 


0:22:40 – Brian

Dad needed a nap. Yeah, that would have been good. Hey, thanks for listening to this week’s episode, and you could win a peas and carrots coffee mug and Miss Kayla’s favorite, the stickers. A pack of stickers. Yeah so, but you have to answer a trivia question correctly, so you have to go to our website go to 


0:23:04 – Kayla

Look for the trivia button, click that and here’s what we want to know. Okay, what is a travel tip that you would share with us? Because I know there are many, many more. We did not share all of them, but what would you share with us and we’ll share that on a future podcast. 


0:23:23 – Brian

So what’s your travel tip? If you answer that question, you simply go to our website. 


0:23:28 – Kayla 


0:23:30 – Brian

And you click on the trivia button, answer that question. When you do, we’ll send you a mug and some cute stickers. 


0:23:37 – Kayla

You can search Peas and Carrots Podcast wherever you get your podcasts, or visit our website at When you do, please don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast. 


0:23:47 – Brian

You can also follow us on Facebook and Instagram. Just search for the Peas and Carrots Podcast. I love all the Godzillas behind me. 


0:23:54 – Kayla

Oh my gosh. 


0:23:55 – Announcer

For more about the Peas and Carrots Podcast and to reach out to Brian and Kayla, visit Life’s not perfect. That’s why God gave us friends like Melody and Candi. Check out, or search Quirks, Bumps, and Bruises wherever you listen to podcasts.